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Absolutely! Knowing the difference between your what your gut is telling you & knowing what your anxiety/insecurity is telling you can be difficult...but your gut always knows!
Couch is right guys, unfortunately I got into this situation and I've asked myself how I could be so dumb in put myself in this relationship that was not really a relationship but that I've struggled a lot to get over, even though it's been 3-4 months that I walked away. The worst part is know that all this time she was using me for attention and validation and I was doing everything coach said, waiting patiently for things changing. You know what? I've been feeling terrible since the day I cut her off cause I miss her a lot, but I've realized after this time that it was all an illusion of my mind and that was never gonna work from her part. Follow what coach Erick suggests, it could be very painful for you, like it's been for me, but there's no other way, this situation sucks. Just to point out, I'm even thinking about going to the psychologist after all that, for you see how fuck up I am after it all. I'll make sure I won't fall in this trap ever again.
Don't beat yourself up...MANY men have been through this, including myself. And yes, it can be very difficult to walk away, especially if you genuinely love her. You're going to miss her. But, like you said, it's the only way. If you don't walk away, this will slowly chip away at your self esteem. However, once you begin meeting/dating new women, most of the hurt will go away.
@@SkillofAttraction I've tried to meet and go out with other girls but it's making me miss her even more, it's like the hole she left is still open and I haven't healed myself enough. I can't explain the reasons why my feelings for this girl is so strong at a point that I can't control it. The only hope I have is to meet someone as interesting as her or better so the hole could be filled.
@@drm86dj The biggest part of this is exactly what you said...you have yet to meet a woman of equal or greater quality than her, so you're going to be naturally missing the connection (& perhaps the sex) that you had with her. Where a lot of men make mistakes in moving on & dating again is that they are looking for their ex in new women. You can't do that, because you will not find your ex there & no woman will EVER measure up. You want to approach every date with your focus being on simply having some fun & nothing more. The women who are for you, & who you'll connect with, will rise to the top.
@@SkillofAttraction I just got a little confused here. I've watched your video about The Limbo. There you said she could go back in the future after you stated to her to contact you when she wants to see you. in this video, it seems hopeless this situation, which I agree. But is there exceptions in those cases like you said on the limbo video?
A woman i met years ago was giving me subtle signs and then she put me in the friendzone, I was depressed but eventually i accepted it and continued to meet as friends. 5 years ago she made a move and we kissed but then she went cold and said that she didn't want to hurt me and that she didn't want a relationship with anyone, but if she did i would be her boyfriend. A week ago she sent me a message saying how depressed she is that some guy she has known for 10 years that she likes doesn't feel the same about her. I feel hurt by the fact she she kissed me but all along was into this other guy.
It sounds to me that she had at least some interest in you at one point. Most likely you were really attached to the idea of having a relationship with her, which she sensed...hence, why she gave you hope, but then said she doesn't want a relationship. In other words, she felt pressured on some level, which will always cause a woman to dig her heels into the ground & pull away. You must always give the women you like the space & time to choose you before it can turn into a romance. However, that doesn't mean that you don't convey your interest by asking her out on dates & ultimately making a move on her. I understand this was a bit hurtful, but you two weren't a couple...& most women have a few men they're interested in until she finds what she's looking for. Actually, men should do this same thing...date multiple women until the one you like best locks you down. Watching some of my videos will help you to understand what women find attractive & unattractive...it;s typically not what most people believe.
Just broke up again with my ex who was stringing me along. She has no intention from moving on from the past and wants to crucify me for a bad choice I made while I was with her. Has narcissistic traits and is using manipulation to keep me hanging on. I've invested so much time in her the past 12 months, so hard to let her go and she knows this so she keeps playing the game. I told her we're done! I just hope I can ride out this no contact so I can heal and recover from all this shit!
That's also part of why men stay...all the time & energy they've invested into a girl with never quite reaching the goal. Yes, it can be very difficult to let go...not only is there still love for her, but she also has become a habit...a big part of your life. Glad you got out! Now you just have to stay strong. Meeting a new girl(s) will help with this greatly! Once you experience other women wanting you, you'll begin to refuse the table scraps you get from the current girl.
you forgot point 14.. shes always active or online on FB or another Chat program.. means shes chatting to someone else or afew other men, but shes keeping you as a play thing or backup... My gf relates to about 9 of these points.. and your right..in my gut i know .. I'm just fantasising about what i want, not the truth.. i might just walk away.. but she wont meet, its all over txt.. she only lives 8Miles away, but shes alway "active Now" on messenger.. shame
That's not necessarily stringing someone along though. Many women do this--I hear this complain all the time-- & it really just means that at least in that particular moment, you're just not a priority. Of course it COULD mean that she's talking to other guys, but not usually. Being focused on that is actually hurting things between you. If you see that, just ignore it & focus on yourself. When she finally reaches out, you'll be so busy with your own thing that you won't be jumping to respond to her. If she refuses to meet up with you, that's a real problem...you don't want a phoneship. You might find this video useful for your situation: ua-cam.com/video/GhU-KglTD2c/v-deo.html
Skill of Attraction thank you for the reply.. really appreciate you help.. I've decided to walk away from her.. I feel I'm worth so much more and if she won't meet.. I'm wasting my time and energy, when I could be using it to find someone who does respect me and will show up.. have a great day 😀
@@NightOrchids Good for you! Life is too short to be waiting for a girl who's showing little interest. There are plenty of women out there that'd be happy to give you her time & attention.
I'm a woman, and he's telling the truth. I was a woman that strung a guy along for some years knowing we didn't want the same thing. I did, and still do love him, but never wanted to be married again, which I told him several times, even in the beginning. And yes, I could have walked away and spared him, but I got caught up in my feelings because again, I did/do love him.
As you can see, I try to teach men to read a woman's signals so they don't get stuck in a dead end relationship...IF that's not what hey want. But thanks for confirming!
@@SkillofAttraction It's good to see Video's uplifting men for a change since we have so many uplifting us all the time. As a women, I know for a fact there are still a LOT of good men out here, so thank you.
Man, this breaks my heart. This girl I was seeing, used to message me "good morning" every morning, she'd come to see me and let me see her. I did meet her friends. But, when I mentioned a relationship everything went cold. She told me cared about me but wasn't in love with me but then told me she would give me a chance when I started to pull away. She asked me if I wanted to go on a trip with her. There's been several red flags but there's also been some good things, too. But, this video, unfortunately, makes it very clear. I just don't know if I have the strength to stop it. I'm madly in love with her and I don't see anyone giving me the attention she... sometimes gives me. But, I'll never find it waiting on her either.
I don't have a video on this yet, but it sounds like you're too focused on a commitment/relationship with her. This will get you rejected every time. Women have to decide if they want a relationship with you first, or you'll end up moving too fast for her. There's a lot to this, but try just focusing on nothing more than getting her out on dates, having fun with her, gently leading her into the bedroom.
All of these are spot on. This happened to me and it is very frustrating and insulting and you feel like you wasted your time. You can do everything right, be funny and charming and confident, and still have this happen to you. Attractive women are masters at this kind of thing and guys are not. They give you just enough hope to keep you on the hook, but then after some time, you realize that she is not going out with you (anymore), always "busy" and you basically have a texting buddy. Actually good guys are the ones most vulnerable to being strung along because we are confident enough to think she will go out with us, we are a catch so why wouldn't she, and we have good jobs, or think we are attractive enough for her. That is what she uses to string you along. A loser will not even ask her out and if a guy is ugly or broke, she gets nothing from it and gets a hard no. Some women like having orbiters. It gives them validation. a source of guys that can do things for her, and actually raises her standing with other women to be seen with all these guys chasing her. What to do? Always stick to the three strike rule. Ask her out (definite date with definite time) three times and no matter what the excuse is, if she does not say yes she does not like you that way. If you have not gone out with her yet, this keeps you from becoming invested in her more than a month. If you did go out with her a few times or even dated and she does not go out three times? You need to walk away completely. No texts, no calls, unfriend or unfollow on social media. If you don't you will hit her up again and girls can string you along years if you let them. If it turns into a year, she thinks you are buddies and you are stuck there forever. She has to know you see her sexually, you asked her out like a man, she was not interested, so you are NOT friends. That is the only way to turn it around. If she misses you or thinks she blew it by taking you for granted, you have a chance, but it is not good. But better than the zero chance if you put up with being strung along. And you are no longer wasting your time.
The idea behind this is so you know what signs to look for so this doesn't happen again. Women will naturally take advantage of men who don't understand them, because they get something out of it. So they might give you just enough to keep you on the hook with no intentions of go any further with you. It's the men who recognize she's trying to string them along & cut her off that women often either end up pursing, or she just goes onto the next guy who lets' her get away with it.
I've been there too. However, it's the man's job to pay attention to what women do, more than what they say so you don't end up in this position, feeling played. Her actions ARE the message.
It's a tough pill to swallow when you realize you're being strung along, but it won't change until you change something, which usually means walking away.
Here's a couple I've had recently.....works every hour god sent, so u can't date her very often, but tells u she would be happy to see u more often. Rents an apartment in a hotel complex, with the terms that x boyfriends can't visit due to the company having past issues with x' causing trouble....but....she is allowed female guests...she can go round other hotel rooms, and the hotel turns a blind eye to everyone else having guests...just not x boyfriends lol......or, she never quite has enough money for u both to rent a new place, despite working silly hours. All these things just to keep u at arms reach.........
Yes, that all sounds like excuses to keep you dangling on the hook, but without actually giving you anything. I have another video you might like about being kept in limbo: ua-cam.com/video/GhU-KglTD2c/v-deo.html
@@SkillofAttraction I'm watching them all lol. Am very tempted with a Skype with u but in all honesty, all it would probably do is confirm what I already instinctively know.
@@johnmortimerjbmfitness7753 Yes, oftentimes men know what the deal is deep down. A good portion of my coaching is men looking for confirmation of what they already know. But, I'm here if you you need to discuss it on a deeper level.
If she's stringing you along, then yes. If you stick around it will only lower your self esteem. She most likely knows that you like her, so just tell her that if she's ever interested in something more she should contact you. Then walk away & get back out there dating again. Let her come to you.
Dude, wow... this girl checked all but 3 of the boxes on your list. She's been stringing me along for a year and now i found out she is seeing someone else. 😢 I went no contact and she keeps breadcrumbing me. What's sad is, I gave her an effing' gift (a gold love necklace) and she wears it while she's with this new guy. Such a kick to my nuts. What an effin' bitch... i've since walked away, and its so hard still. Thanks for this video
Glad you found this then! And use it for a guide for future women. Also, no more gifts for women unless she's a committed girlfriend. Women must earn the boyfriend treatment.
@@SkillofAttraction yes sir you are darn right.... actually, I thought that she was a committed girlfriend. Turned out she wasn't. She rejected me after a very long time. Hurt like hell. I will run with your advice. Thanks
Hello Eric! I need a bit of advice for my current situation with my girlfriend of 4 years. So we both started dating since we were 15 (I know that’s pretty young) and just today her and I had a whole conversation about a lot of personals. For a little while now she’s been having a whole lot of family problems thats making her change and she’s told me that “there’s a lot going on, she hates the thought that she’s growing up fast”, (especially at a really young age because she had to take care of herself, family, etc and she use to want to grow up fast at that time). She’s also pointed out to me that we dated at a young age, didn’t know how it truly feels to love (tho I felt it but she didn’t grow up feeling that love/affection so she became the type to not be all lovey/affectionate), she liked the feeling that someone was by her side, and she told me that she’s waited for me for hours (because I was always busy back then with my own situations), and now I’m waiting for hours on her..(Tho I have been waiting even when I was busy but she doesn’t realize it..) Idk what to do and I’m sorry if this is long. She’ve also told me that it does get stressing reassuring someone then tells me to not get her wrong because she wants me to know that she truly won’t stop loving me and so on but it puts a lot on her. (I’m a big overthinker and I always thinking that I’m slowly losing her tho I know I shouldn’t because that may end up becoming true one day. I just love her too much, but sometimes I feel like I’m not enough or something). I really need your advice ): I want to change and be better for her and for me.
In a way, you answered your own question...self improvement. Overall, it sounds to me that she's getting stressed out by your need for her validation. You feel that she's slipping away, so you're leaning on her for reassurance. Without a doubt, this behavior will push her away. As men, we love to be needed by our girl, but women despise being needed by a man...you're showing neediness with this. When a man shows that he needs his woman it automatically & instinctively makes that woman question his value. You're questioning your own value to her. So, the key here is self-validation which is mostly about your mindset. However, getting into that mindset is about proving to yourself that you are high value & if she wants to leave you for whatever reason, then it's her loss. So, you want to focus on your self improvement by pursuing your goals/hobbies, health/fitness (body, mind, spirit), & building/maintaining your social circle. In fact, this is where a majority of your energy should be going, & less energy on her & what she's thinking/feeling. It's counterintuitive, & it goes against what society says we should be doing in a relationship, but she will find you more attractive this way.
@@SkillofAttraction True, she has said like what I’ve wrote that it does get stressing reassuring someone- but especially if she has things she’s dealing with too or if she feels like she needs reassurance as well at times because she’s a bit like me when it comes to things that we need like self improvement or feel like one or the other is slipping away, so I’ll try to self improve by the few amazing examples you said, but I was wondering if this will truly works or does it make her feel something different? I also need advice on how to make her feel reassured in a way that I don’t come off too strong or back to where she may lose interest + advice on how to make more exciting text/call conversations especially if I’m not a full on type to be all funny and stuff and if we’re in a LDR? (I know both texting and calling could become dull- mostly if it’s everyday because you run out of things to say quickly)
@@SkillofAttraction I see, I wish I would’ve known this wayyyy sooner..But then I came across your channel and binge watched most of your videos! Thank you for the advice, I truly appreciate and agree with what you’re saying and I like how you stay on the point, make it very clear, and even get straight to the point.
You should do a video on girls leading on men early on. Here’s my situation: Girl in my class would hit on me a lot. After about a week I asked her out, she excitedly pulls her phone out and gets my number and texts me. This was on a Friday. Same day tell her hey, we should hang out this weekend. She was like actually I unfortunately forgot that I’m going to go see my grandparents. Okay whatever, in comes next week on Wednesday, she apologized to my face, and said she really was busy, but that this weekend we’d hang out. Fair enough, then come Friday of this same week and she has a “last minute trip” with her friends to a different state. After that revelation she’s starts texting me flirty and saying I’d be their sexy bodyguard next time. I then got annoyed and ignored her. In person in class the next week I said hi, and proceeded to talk to everybody but her. After class she starts chasing me over text, practically declaring her love for me. Now I’m just pissed, not because I feel hurt idgaf, I’m confident. I’m pissed because I’m starting to see just how much of a piece of shit she is, where she’s willing to manipulate another humans emotions in order to validate herself. You have any information as to why some women do this? Its super bizarre to me.
This all could be her just using you for attention, OR she could be doing this to play a little hard to get & testing you. I think you'd be better off asking her out for a definite date (specific day & time) rather than saying "let's hang out some time". Women tend to be a bit more open when you're clearly stating your intentions; meaning, you want a date with her & not just something casual like hanging out.
Yeah, I think she likes you but (I am assuming you are in college) she probably is having fun and if attractive, probably had friends bring up something cool to do which was firm. The coaches reply I agree with. You need to ask for a specific date. You cannot do a vague, we can hang out. Women respect men who ask for a specific date, it is more confident. Also, this stops her making plans with her friends. You were giving her maybe dates, and women do not take them seriously and probably thought you were busy or doing something cool too.
You can find my coaching options here. I offer phone coaching for North America, & I offer Zoom coaching for those outside North America. www.skillofattraction.com/dating-relationship-coaching/ For future reference, I have a link to my coaching page in the description section of all my videos.
Ok I know this video is a year old but I need advice. I fell in love with this girl 16 years ago in high school and we dated awhile but due to the guy she was pregnant by wanting to work things out we broke up, 5 years later after they split up she hit me up we hit it off again and dated for 8 months but we had financial struggles which caused stress in our relationship and she left me again and dated someone else. It’s been 10 years since then well 11 now. She hit me up last summer she’s married but in an abusive relationship and says she’s trying to get out of it. We been talking for 10 months. We have had sex multiple times but not since October because I moved 40 min away and meet up without her husband finding out has been hard but he still very abusive and she says she wants out. I’m the one she calls when he is abusing her and yelling at her to support her. We have talked about a future once she’s free of him but lately she’s said things like she needs time to heal, she just wants it to be her and her girls, but still says she loves me. She dosent talk the same tho no sexual talk anymore no real flirty talk. She convinced me to download imvu app with her which to me looks like an app for meeting people she said was to make friends because she don’t have any but after we made the accounts two days later I see she unfriended me and was still following 19 people when I looked at her page. When I asked her about it, she said she was deleting the app because it was boring. That’s why she unfriended me. I thought it seemed a little strange to unfriend me just to delete the app, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt I went back and looked, about an hour later so I could delete my account too and when I looked at her page one last time I saw she went from 19 people to 23 which told me she didn’t actually delete it. I asked her about it and why she lied and she said she’s going to delete it. She just hasn’t yet again it didn’t make sense to me but I gave her the benefit of the doubt it’s been 12 hours since then, and I deleted my account after that conversation, but I couldn’t sleep so I made another account and I went and looked at her profile. She’s not only following even more people, but she made even more posts on it. I don’t understand why you would post on it and continue to follow people if you’re just planning on deleting it, and why the only person you would delete from your friends list it would be me, my gut tells me it’s because she didn’t want me seeing other guys flirting with her on it but at the same time I don’t want to believe that’s the case I have loved this girl my entire life and I truly believe her when she says she loves me and everything she says she’s always bragged how I was on one person she could never lie to, so why would she lie to me about something as insignificant as this unless it was to hide something?
When you say "walk away from this" do you mean to actually tell her that I'm breaking up or just go into no contact and only get in touch with her if she reaches out again?
If you're actually dating her & at some point she begins to string you along & stops putting in the effort, it's best that you first tell her that the way things have been going is not working for you & that something needs to change if the relationship is going to continue. Then give her some time for her to rectify (maybe a week or two). If she doesn't make any changes, then tell her that it's over & she should contact you when she's ready to participate in the relationship & then go no contact. Now, if she's just a girl you're interested in & you're not technically dating, & she's stringing you along, then just stop contacting her. If/when she contacts you, & she probably will because she misses the attention, then simply tell her that you're not interested in being "just friends" & if she's ever interested in a date, then she should contact you...then go no contact. If she were to reach out after this, assume that she wants a date & arrange one. If she rejects your date, stick to your guns & politely end the conversation.
Is im being stringed along? She promised me sex 2 times in a row and didnt follow through. Couple days ago she gave me her address to invite me over for lunch once i got off work. I drove 45 min from my job to her house. Once i get there i call her and text her no response so i pull off get halfway down the street she calls. Then she will text me and say she misses me but when we at work together she never be around me
If you haven't watched the video, I recommend watching it s you have an idea of what being strung along means. But what you're talking about seems more like she's testing you to see if you react emotionally. Women do this sometimes when they sense weakness in you as a way to be reassured of your strength. So, don't react & just withdraw your attention until she begins investing or chasing you again. Then take the lead. Also, for future reference, please see the pinned comment.
I need to get something off my chest… I met a girl about 2 months back she lives over 100 miles away from me, she was in a 5 year relationship and finished the relationship to get with me, everything was going good, she was chasing after me I gave her bit by bit and so on, she eventually told me she loves me, so I unfortunately agreed and went with it, when we first met we went with the flow which is what I asked for and she said to me she wanted to take it a bit slow cos she jumped out of a relationship, I took her out and we were talking and I said I was thinking about asking you out as a humourish matter if you get me but I said I understand you want to take it slow so it’s all good and she turned to me and said why not ask me now? So I did and we got together another month went by she was telling me she loves me wanting to see me alllll the time and I tried my best to make her happy because of her ex being a prick to her all the time he pushed her away, she always told me to be nice to her, but I think I met of went overboard because I felt sometimes over text she was a bit dry, I can’t pinpoint where things went wrong but my insecurity sort of kicked in now n then I didn’t know why, I really liked that girl but she has asked for space now after 2 months and I don’t think she will be back tbh, it hurts because she tries to prank call me now n then and she has showed her true colours she is young aswell and so am I so that could be something to do with it, I’ve learned the hard way never to constantly try n keep a girl happy, apologies about the long message Erik but I just had to get it off my chest and wondered what your opinion on the matter would be? There’s a lot more to it aswell
Well, at least part of the issue was trying to be the "good guy" that her boyfriend wasn't. You have to be careful in these situations, because girls will often tell you what they want, but you give it to them & they lose attraction. if she was with her ex willingly for 5 years, there's a good chance she was attracted to his prick attitude. I realize that makes little sense, but what women SAY they want & what ACTUALLY attracts them to a man emotionally/sexually are often polar opposites. For future reference, you always want to lead the relationship slightly slower than the pace she wants to go. All that you can do now is continue to give her space...however, if it's been two months it's a good idea that you get back out there & start meeting/dating new women.
My ex I treated her really bad coach and she ended up leaving so I thought I’d be a nice guy and treat her like that, but is it just all girls are the same or what lol? She asked for space and I think she is meeting someone else which is a heart ache, if that was the case I would of respected her more if she just told me she didn’t want to be with me no more, I even asked her when she asked for space if she just wants to break up and she said she isn’t saying that but I think she was saying that, just I think I’ve really learned a lesson from this not to give girls too much and learn exactly how to control it, I just wish I knew more about this
@@hughgrant2124 You treated your ex bad, or her ex treated her bad? Basically what she's doing is keeping you in "back up" position. In other words, she lost attraction, but she likes you. So, she decided that she's going to (most likely) explore her options, but doesn't want to cut you off just in case her feelings change or just in case she can't find a better option. I know that stings, but it's the truth & I have to be honest. How do you handle this? Move on. See yourself as the prize. I know you don't want wait around to see if she chooses you or not. You're better than that & deserve better. You may love her, but you can never convince a woman to change how she feels...plus by waiting around for her, you're actually lowering any remaining attraction he has for you. Women like men who stand up for themselves & exhibit their self respect.
What hurts though coach is that we recently just broke up so u were right, but why would she tell me she is not in love with me anymore then tell me she wants to be single because of her age(19) to go out with her friends, to me when I think she either has someone else on the side or she never loved me at all , whatever it is I think she’s lost a good boy for whatever prick she chooses,
@@hughgrant2124 This is how women's emotions work...one day she's crazy in love with you...the next day, maybe not so much. You always want to behave like YOU are the prize. So, when a woman says she needs space or wants to breakup, you respond like you're the prize; "Okay, if that's what you want", then walk away with the attitude that it's her loss. This is also one of he reasons it's so important for men to have purpose in their life...you will always have something important, that you're passionate about, to turn our attention towards. It will till hurt, but it won't hurt anywhere near as much. It'll also help to start meeting/dating new women.
Yup! That's true for many. That's how I learned the signs...by going through it myself. But hopefully now you know what to look for so you don't go through this ever again.
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𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗧𝗮𝗼 𝗢𝗳 𝗕𝗮𝗱𝗮𝘀𝘀
How To Attract ANY Woman: bit.ly/35Jyx0W
𝗣𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗦𝗲𝘅 𝗟𝗶𝗳𝗲
Get The Sex Life You Deserve: bit.ly/3K9bI5V
Sign #13 - listen to your gut. 💯
Absolutely! Knowing the difference between your what your gut is telling you & knowing what your anxiety/insecurity is telling you can be difficult...but your gut always knows!
Couch is right guys, unfortunately I got into this situation and I've asked myself how I could be so dumb in put myself in this relationship that was not really a relationship but that I've struggled a lot to get over, even though it's been 3-4 months that I walked away.
The worst part is know that all this time she was using me for attention and validation and I was doing everything coach said, waiting patiently for things changing. You know what? I've been feeling terrible since the day I cut her off cause I miss her a lot, but I've realized after this time that it was all an illusion of my mind and that was never gonna work from her part. Follow what coach Erick suggests, it could be very painful for you, like it's been for me, but there's no other way, this situation sucks.
Just to point out, I'm even thinking about going to the psychologist after all that, for you see how fuck up I am after it all. I'll make sure I won't fall in this trap ever again.
Don't beat yourself up...MANY men have been through this, including myself. And yes, it can be very difficult to walk away, especially if you genuinely love her. You're going to miss her. But, like you said, it's the only way. If you don't walk away, this will slowly chip away at your self esteem. However, once you begin meeting/dating new women, most of the hurt will go away.
@@SkillofAttraction I've tried to meet and go out with other girls but it's making me miss her even more, it's like the hole she left is still open and I haven't healed myself enough. I can't explain the reasons why my feelings for this girl is so strong at a point that I can't control it. The only hope I have is to meet someone as interesting as her or better so the hole could be filled.
@@drm86dj The biggest part of this is exactly what you said...you have yet to meet a woman of equal or greater quality than her, so you're going to be naturally missing the connection (& perhaps the sex) that you had with her. Where a lot of men make mistakes in moving on & dating again is that they are looking for their ex in new women. You can't do that, because you will not find your ex there & no woman will EVER measure up. You want to approach every date with your focus being on simply having some fun & nothing more. The women who are for you, & who you'll connect with, will rise to the top.
@@SkillofAttraction I just got a little confused here. I've watched your video about The Limbo. There you said she could go back in the future after you stated to her to contact you when she wants to see you. in this video, it seems hopeless this situation, which I agree. But is there exceptions in those cases like you said on the limbo video?
@@sarahwarting9742 be gone spammer!
Brutal, and relentless truth.
Sometimes we have to hear it...
@@SkillofAttraction Fr
A woman i met years ago was giving me subtle signs and then she put me in the friendzone, I was depressed but eventually i accepted it and continued to meet as friends. 5 years ago she made a move and we kissed but then she went cold and said that she didn't want to hurt me and that she didn't want a relationship with anyone, but if she did i would be her boyfriend. A week ago she sent me a message saying how depressed she is that some guy she has known for 10 years that she likes doesn't feel the same about her. I feel hurt by the fact she she kissed me but all along was into this other guy.
It sounds to me that she had at least some interest in you at one point. Most likely you were really attached to the idea of having a relationship with her, which she sensed...hence, why she gave you hope, but then said she doesn't want a relationship. In other words, she felt pressured on some level, which will always cause a woman to dig her heels into the ground & pull away. You must always give the women you like the space & time to choose you before it can turn into a romance. However, that doesn't mean that you don't convey your interest by asking her out on dates & ultimately making a move on her. I understand this was a bit hurtful, but you two weren't a couple...& most women have a few men they're interested in until she finds what she's looking for. Actually, men should do this same thing...date multiple women until the one you like best locks you down. Watching some of my videos will help you to understand what women find attractive & unattractive...it;s typically not what most people believe.
Just broke up again with my ex who was stringing me along. She has no intention from moving on from the past and wants to crucify me for a bad choice I made while I was with her. Has narcissistic traits and is using manipulation to keep me hanging on. I've invested so much time in her the past 12 months, so hard to let her go and she knows this so she keeps playing the game. I told her we're done! I just hope I can ride out this no contact so I can heal and recover from all this shit!
Give her that block stain. I’m about to do the same after I drop off her belongings
good luck
Give her the “ gift “ of your absence
@@theSaint-1964 It doesn't work man, in this case there's no interest from her part, she's just using you.
That's also part of why men stay...all the time & energy they've invested into a girl with never quite reaching the goal. Yes, it can be very difficult to let go...not only is there still love for her, but she also has become a habit...a big part of your life. Glad you got out! Now you just have to stay strong. Meeting a new girl(s) will help with this greatly! Once you experience other women wanting you, you'll begin to refuse the table scraps you get from the current girl.
You're my favorite relationship coach. Spot on 👍🏻
Why, thank you kind sir...
you forgot point 14.. shes always active or online on FB or another Chat program.. means shes chatting to someone else or afew other men, but shes keeping you as a play thing or backup...
My gf relates to about 9 of these points.. and your right..in my gut i know .. I'm just fantasising about what i want, not the truth.. i might just walk away.. but she wont meet, its all over txt.. she only lives 8Miles away, but shes alway "active Now" on messenger.. shame
That's not necessarily stringing someone along though. Many women do this--I hear this complain all the time-- & it really just means that at least in that particular moment, you're just not a priority. Of course it COULD mean that she's talking to other guys, but not usually. Being focused on that is actually hurting things between you. If you see that, just ignore it & focus on yourself. When she finally reaches out, you'll be so busy with your own thing that you won't be jumping to respond to her.
If she refuses to meet up with you, that's a real problem...you don't want a phoneship. You might find this video useful for your situation: ua-cam.com/video/GhU-KglTD2c/v-deo.html
Skill of Attraction thank you for the reply.. really appreciate you help.. I've decided to walk away from her.. I feel I'm worth so much more and if she won't meet.. I'm wasting my time and energy, when I could be using it to find someone who does respect me and will show up.. have a great day 😀
@@NightOrchids Good for you! Life is too short to be waiting for a girl who's showing little interest. There are plenty of women out there that'd be happy to give you her time & attention.
I'm a woman, and he's telling the truth. I was a woman that strung a guy along for some years knowing we didn't want the same thing. I did, and still do love him, but never wanted to be married again, which I told him several times, even in the beginning. And yes, I could have walked away and spared him, but I got caught up in my feelings because again, I did/do love him.
As you can see, I try to teach men to read a woman's signals so they don't get stuck in a dead end relationship...IF that's not what hey want. But thanks for confirming!
@@SkillofAttraction It's good to see Video's uplifting men for a change since we have so many uplifting us all the time. As a women, I know for a fact there are still a LOT of good men out here, so thank you.
@@terrilam8505 And thank you!
Man spot on. Never again.
Exactly! Don't put up with this stuff!
Man, this breaks my heart. This girl I was seeing, used to message me "good morning" every morning, she'd come to see me and let me see her. I did meet her friends. But, when I mentioned a relationship everything went cold. She told me cared about me but wasn't in love with me but then told me she would give me a chance when I started to pull away. She asked me if I wanted to go on a trip with her. There's been several red flags but there's also been some good things, too. But, this video, unfortunately, makes it very clear. I just don't know if I have the strength to stop it. I'm madly in love with her and I don't see anyone giving me the attention she... sometimes gives me. But, I'll never find it waiting on her either.
I don't have a video on this yet, but it sounds like you're too focused on a commitment/relationship with her. This will get you rejected every time. Women have to decide if they want a relationship with you first, or you'll end up moving too fast for her. There's a lot to this, but try just focusing on nothing more than getting her out on dates, having fun with her, gently leading her into the bedroom.
I’m tired of hearing that there is plenty of women out there that will go out with me. I’m sick of hearing that. Where are these women?
You have to put yourself out there. Go where the women you want to meet go. And of course, approach & talk to them.
You won't find them on the internet.
Appreciate that. Definitely making a change tomorrow.
Good! The longer you stay, the more difficult it is to get out...
Following your steps
All of these are spot on. This happened to me and it is very frustrating and insulting and you feel like you wasted your time. You can do everything right, be funny and charming and confident, and still have this happen to you. Attractive women are masters at this kind of thing and guys are not. They give you just enough hope to keep you on the hook, but then after some time, you realize that she is not going out with you (anymore), always "busy" and you basically have a texting buddy. Actually good guys are the ones most vulnerable to being strung along because we are confident enough to think she will go out with us, we are a catch so why wouldn't she, and we have good jobs, or think we are attractive enough for her. That is what she uses to string you along. A loser will not even ask her out and if a guy is ugly or broke, she gets nothing from it and gets a hard no.
Some women like having orbiters. It gives them validation. a source of guys that can do things for her, and actually raises her standing with other women to be seen with all these guys chasing her.
What to do? Always stick to the three strike rule. Ask her out (definite date with definite time) three times and no matter what the excuse is, if she does not say yes she does not like you that way. If you have not gone out with her yet, this keeps you from becoming invested in her more than a month. If you did go out with her a few times or even dated and she does not go out three times? You need to walk away completely. No texts, no calls, unfriend or unfollow on social media. If you don't you will hit her up again and girls can string you along years if you let them. If it turns into a year, she thinks you are buddies and you are stuck there forever. She has to know you see her sexually, you asked her out like a man, she was not interested, so you are NOT friends. That is the only way to turn it around. If she misses you or thinks she blew it by taking you for granted, you have a chance, but it is not good. But better than the zero chance if you put up with being strung along. And you are no longer wasting your time.
The idea behind this is so you know what signs to look for so this doesn't happen again. Women will naturally take advantage of men who don't understand them, because they get something out of it. So they might give you just enough to keep you on the hook with no intentions of go any further with you. It's the men who recognize she's trying to string them along & cut her off that women often either end up pursing, or she just goes onto the next guy who lets' her get away with it.
Been there. Then she went with another guy. Manipulation at its finest.
I've been there too. However, it's the man's job to pay attention to what women do, more than what they say so you don't end up in this position, feeling played. Her actions ARE the message.
thanks for the great advice I'm going through a situation just like this
It's a tough pill to swallow when you realize you're being strung along, but it won't change until you change something, which usually means walking away.
@@SkillofAttractionyep you're absolutely right
Your a real one 💜
Thank you!
Here's a couple I've had recently.....works every hour god sent, so u can't date her very often, but tells u she would be happy to see u more often. Rents an apartment in a hotel complex, with the terms that x boyfriends can't visit due to the company having past issues with x' causing trouble....but....she is allowed female guests...she can go round other hotel rooms, and the hotel turns a blind eye to everyone else having guests...just not x boyfriends lol......or, she never quite has enough money for u both to rent a new place, despite working silly hours. All these things just to keep u at arms reach.........
Yes, that all sounds like excuses to keep you dangling on the hook, but without actually giving you anything. I have another video you might like about being kept in limbo: ua-cam.com/video/GhU-KglTD2c/v-deo.html
@@SkillofAttraction I'm watching them all lol. Am very tempted with a Skype with u but in all honesty, all it would probably do is confirm what I already instinctively know.
@@johnmortimerjbmfitness7753 Yes, oftentimes men know what the deal is deep down. A good portion of my coaching is men looking for confirmation of what they already know. But, I'm here if you you need to discuss it on a deeper level.
@@SkillofAttraction ok awesome and thanks for the reply.
thank you
You're welcome! Stay strong!
Great tips! Good sign for me to walk away.
If she's stringing you along, then yes. If you stick around it will only lower your self esteem. She most likely knows that you like her, so just tell her that if she's ever interested in something more she should contact you. Then walk away & get back out there dating again. Let her come to you.
Dude, wow... this girl checked all but 3 of the boxes on your list. She's been stringing me along for a year and now i found out she is seeing someone else. 😢 I went no contact and she keeps breadcrumbing me. What's sad is, I gave her an effing' gift (a gold love necklace) and she wears it while she's with this new guy. Such a kick to my nuts. What an effin' bitch... i've since walked away, and its so hard still. Thanks for this video
Glad you found this then! And use it for a guide for future women. Also, no more gifts for women unless she's a committed girlfriend. Women must earn the boyfriend treatment.
@@SkillofAttraction yes sir you are darn right.... actually, I thought that she was a committed girlfriend. Turned out she wasn't. She rejected me after a very long time. Hurt like hell. I will run with your advice. Thanks
Don't be so down on yourself. We all make mistakes, and this is how we learn. Now you have been vaccinated against users.
Hello Eric! I need a bit of advice for my current situation with my girlfriend of 4 years. So we both started dating since we were 15 (I know that’s pretty young) and just today her and I had a whole conversation about a lot of personals. For a little while now she’s been having a whole lot of family problems thats making her change and she’s told me that “there’s a lot going on, she hates the thought that she’s growing up fast”, (especially at a really young age because she had to take care of herself, family, etc and she use to want to grow up fast at that time). She’s also pointed out to me that we dated at a young age, didn’t know how it truly feels to love (tho I felt it but she didn’t grow up feeling that love/affection so she became the type to not be all lovey/affectionate), she liked the feeling that someone was by her side, and she told me that she’s waited for me for hours (because I was always busy back then with my own situations), and now I’m waiting for hours on her..(Tho I have been waiting even when I was busy but she doesn’t realize it..) Idk what to do and I’m sorry if this is long. She’ve also told me that it does get stressing reassuring someone then tells me to not get her wrong because she wants me to know that she truly won’t stop loving me and so on but it puts a lot on her. (I’m a big overthinker and I always thinking that I’m slowly losing her tho I know I shouldn’t because that may end up becoming true one day. I just love her too much, but sometimes I feel like I’m not enough or something). I really need your advice ): I want to change and be better for her and for me.
In a way, you answered your own question...self improvement. Overall, it sounds to me that she's getting stressed out by your need for her validation. You feel that she's slipping away, so you're leaning on her for reassurance. Without a doubt, this behavior will push her away. As men, we love to be needed by our girl, but women despise being needed by a man...you're showing neediness with this. When a man shows that he needs his woman it automatically & instinctively makes that woman question his value. You're questioning your own value to her. So, the key here is self-validation which is mostly about your mindset. However, getting into that mindset is about proving to yourself that you are high value & if she wants to leave you for whatever reason, then it's her loss. So, you want to focus on your self improvement by pursuing your goals/hobbies, health/fitness (body, mind, spirit), & building/maintaining your social circle. In fact, this is where a majority of your energy should be going, & less energy on her & what she's thinking/feeling. It's counterintuitive, & it goes against what society says we should be doing in a relationship, but she will find you more attractive this way.
@@SkillofAttraction True, she has said like what I’ve wrote that it does get stressing reassuring someone- but especially if she has things she’s dealing with too or if she feels like she needs reassurance as well at times because she’s a bit like me when it comes to things that we need like self improvement or feel like one or the other is slipping away, so I’ll try to self improve by the few amazing examples you said, but I was wondering if this will truly works or does it make her feel something different? I also need advice on how to make her feel reassured in a way that I don’t come off too strong or back to where she may lose interest + advice on how to make more exciting text/call conversations especially if I’m not a full on type to be all funny and stuff and if we’re in a LDR? (I know both texting and calling could become dull- mostly if it’s everyday because you run out of things to say quickly)
@@SkillofAttraction I see, I wish I would’ve known this wayyyy sooner..But then I came across your channel and binge watched most of your videos! Thank you for the advice, I truly appreciate and agree with what you’re saying and I like how you stay on the point, make it very clear, and even get straight to the point.
@@sarahwarting9742 Be gone spammer!
You should do a video on girls leading on men early on. Here’s my situation: Girl in my class would hit on me a lot. After about a week I asked her out, she excitedly pulls her phone out and gets my number and texts me. This was on a Friday. Same day tell her hey, we should hang out this weekend. She was like actually I unfortunately forgot that I’m going to go see my grandparents. Okay whatever, in comes next week on Wednesday, she apologized to my face, and said she really was busy, but that this weekend we’d hang out. Fair enough, then come Friday of this same week and she has a “last minute trip” with her friends to a different state. After that revelation she’s starts texting me flirty and saying I’d be their sexy bodyguard next time. I then got annoyed and ignored her. In person in class the next week I said hi, and proceeded to talk to everybody but her. After class she starts chasing me over text, practically declaring her love for me. Now I’m just pissed, not because I feel hurt idgaf, I’m confident. I’m pissed because I’m starting to see just how much of a piece of shit she is, where she’s willing to manipulate another humans emotions in order to validate herself. You have any information as to why some women do this? Its super bizarre to me.
This all could be her just using you for attention, OR she could be doing this to play a little hard to get & testing you. I think you'd be better off asking her out for a definite date (specific day & time) rather than saying "let's hang out some time". Women tend to be a bit more open when you're clearly stating your intentions; meaning, you want a date with her & not just something casual like hanging out.
Yeah, I think she likes you but (I am assuming you are in college) she probably is having fun and if attractive, probably had friends bring up something cool to do which was firm. The coaches reply I agree with. You need to ask for a specific date. You cannot do a vague, we can hang out. Women respect men who ask for a specific date, it is more confident. Also, this stops her making plans with her friends. You were giving her maybe dates, and women do not take them seriously and probably thought you were busy or doing something cool too.
Hello Sir ! Great video . How can I use your coach services through email or phone ?
You can find my coaching options here. I offer phone coaching for North America, & I offer Zoom coaching for those outside North America. www.skillofattraction.com/dating-relationship-coaching/
For future reference, I have a link to my coaching page in the description section of all my videos.
Ok I know this video is a year old but I need advice. I fell in love with this girl 16 years ago in high school and we dated awhile but due to the guy she was pregnant by wanting to work things out we broke up, 5 years later after they split up she hit me up we hit it off again and dated for 8 months but we had financial struggles which caused stress in our relationship and she left me again and dated someone else. It’s been 10 years since then well 11 now. She hit me up last summer she’s married but in an abusive relationship and says she’s trying to get out of it. We been talking for 10 months. We have had sex multiple times but not since October because I moved 40 min away and meet up without her husband finding out has been hard but he still very abusive and she says she wants out. I’m the one she calls when he is abusing her and yelling at her to support her. We have talked about a future once she’s free of him but lately she’s said things like she needs time to heal, she just wants it to be her and her girls, but still says she loves me. She dosent talk the same tho no sexual talk anymore no real flirty talk. She convinced me to download imvu app with her which to me looks like an app for meeting people she said was to make friends because she don’t have any but after we made the accounts two days later I see she unfriended me and was still following 19 people when I looked at her page. When I asked her about it, she said she was deleting the app because it was boring. That’s why she unfriended me. I thought it seemed a little strange to unfriend me just to delete the app, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt I went back and looked, about an hour later so I could delete my account too and when I looked at her page one last time I saw she went from 19 people to 23 which told me she didn’t actually delete it. I asked her about it and why she lied and she said she’s going to delete it. She just hasn’t yet again it didn’t make sense to me but I gave her the benefit of the doubt it’s been 12 hours since then, and I deleted my account after that conversation, but I couldn’t sleep so I made another account and I went and looked at her profile. She’s not only following even more people, but she made even more posts on it. I don’t understand why you would post on it and continue to follow people if you’re just planning on deleting it, and why the only person you would delete from your friends list it would be me, my gut tells me it’s because she didn’t want me seeing other guys flirting with her on it but at the same time I don’t want to believe that’s the case I have loved this girl my entire life and I truly believe her when she says she loves me and everything she says she’s always bragged how I was on one person she could never lie to, so why would she lie to me about something as insignificant as this unless it was to hide something?
Happy to help. Please see the pinned comment.
When you say "walk away from this" do you mean to actually tell her that I'm breaking up or just go into no contact and only get in touch with her if she reaches out again?
If you're actually dating her & at some point she begins to string you along & stops putting in the effort, it's best that you first tell her that the way things have been going is not working for you & that something needs to change if the relationship is going to continue. Then give her some time for her to rectify (maybe a week or two). If she doesn't make any changes, then tell her that it's over & she should contact you when she's ready to participate in the relationship & then go no contact. Now, if she's just a girl you're interested in & you're not technically dating, & she's stringing you along, then just stop contacting her. If/when she contacts you, & she probably will because she misses the attention, then simply tell her that you're not interested in being "just friends" & if she's ever interested in a date, then she should contact you...then go no contact. If she were to reach out after this, assume that she wants a date & arrange one. If she rejects your date, stick to your guns & politely end the conversation.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
@@rompastompa6474 And thank you for the Superthanks!
Hello erik , i paid for premium service still have got any response from you …3 days have passed
You should have it now. I sent it to you within 48 hours, as per coaching option you selected. Let me know if you haven't received it yet.
Is im being stringed along?
She promised me sex 2 times in a row and didnt follow through. Couple days ago she gave me her address to invite me over for lunch once i got off work. I drove 45 min from my job to her house. Once i get there i call her and text her no response so i pull off get halfway down the street she calls. Then she will text me and say she misses me but when we at work together she never be around me
If you haven't watched the video, I recommend watching it s you have an idea of what being strung along means. But what you're talking about seems more like she's testing you to see if you react emotionally. Women do this sometimes when they sense weakness in you as a way to be reassured of your strength. So, don't react & just withdraw your attention until she begins investing or chasing you again. Then take the lead.
Also, for future reference, please see the pinned comment.
🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
I need to get something off my chest…
I met a girl about 2 months back she lives over 100 miles away from me, she was in a 5 year relationship and finished the relationship to get with me, everything was going good, she was chasing after me I gave her bit by bit and so on, she eventually told me she loves me, so I unfortunately agreed and went with it, when we first met we went with the flow which is what I asked for and she said to me she wanted to take it a bit slow cos she jumped out of a relationship, I took her out and we were talking and I said I was thinking about asking you out as a humourish matter if you get me but I said I understand you want to take it slow so it’s all good and she turned to me and said why not ask me now? So I did and we got together another month went by she was telling me she loves me wanting to see me alllll the time and I tried my best to make her happy because of her ex being a prick to her all the time he pushed her away, she always told me to be nice to her, but I think I met of went overboard because I felt sometimes over text she was a bit dry, I can’t pinpoint where things went wrong but my insecurity sort of kicked in now n then I didn’t know why, I really liked that girl but she has asked for space now after 2 months and I don’t think she will be back tbh, it hurts because she tries to prank call me now n then and she has showed her true colours she is young aswell and so am I so that could be something to do with it, I’ve learned the hard way never to constantly try n keep a girl happy, apologies about the long message Erik but I just had to get it off my chest and wondered what your opinion on the matter would be? There’s a lot more to it aswell
Well, at least part of the issue was trying to be the "good guy" that her boyfriend wasn't. You have to be careful in these situations, because girls will often tell you what they want, but you give it to them & they lose attraction. if she was with her ex willingly for 5 years, there's a good chance she was attracted to his prick attitude. I realize that makes little sense, but what women SAY they want & what ACTUALLY attracts them to a man emotionally/sexually are often polar opposites. For future reference, you always want to lead the relationship slightly slower than the pace she wants to go. All that you can do now is continue to give her space...however, if it's been two months it's a good idea that you get back out there & start meeting/dating new women.
My ex I treated her really bad coach and she ended up leaving so I thought I’d be a nice guy and treat her like that, but is it just all girls are the same or what lol? She asked for space and I think she is meeting someone else which is a heart ache, if that was the case I would of respected her more if she just told me she didn’t want to be with me no more, I even asked her when she asked for space if she just wants to break up and she said she isn’t saying that but I think she was saying that, just I think I’ve really learned a lesson from this not to give girls too much and learn exactly how to control it, I just wish I knew more about this
@@hughgrant2124 You treated your ex bad, or her ex treated her bad?
Basically what she's doing is keeping you in "back up" position. In other words, she lost attraction, but she likes you. So, she decided that she's going to (most likely) explore her options, but doesn't want to cut you off just in case her feelings change or just in case she can't find a better option. I know that stings, but it's the truth & I have to be honest. How do you handle this? Move on. See yourself as the prize. I know you don't want wait around to see if she chooses you or not. You're better than that & deserve better. You may love her, but you can never convince a woman to change how she feels...plus by waiting around for her, you're actually lowering any remaining attraction he has for you. Women like men who stand up for themselves & exhibit their self respect.
What hurts though coach is that we recently just broke up so u were right, but why would she tell me she is not in love with me anymore then tell me she wants to be single because of her age(19) to go out with her friends, to me when I think she either has someone else on the side or she never loved me at all , whatever it is I think she’s lost a good boy for whatever prick she chooses,
@@hughgrant2124 This is how women's emotions work...one day she's crazy in love with you...the next day, maybe not so much. You always want to behave like YOU are the prize. So, when a woman says she needs space or wants to breakup, you respond like you're the prize; "Okay, if that's what you want", then walk away with the attitude that it's her loss. This is also one of he reasons it's so important for men to have purpose in their life...you will always have something important, that you're passionate about, to turn our attention towards. It will till hurt, but it won't hurt anywhere near as much. It'll also help to start meeting/dating new women.
20-20 hindsight. 😪
Yup! That's true for many. That's how I learned the signs...by going through it myself. But hopefully now you know what to look for so you don't go through this ever again.
luckily, I hate carrots
She'll use whatever it is that you like & dangle that in front of you...
Sounds like my asian ex-wife who scammed me.
Women can be sneaky. Hopefully this video will help you from falling prey again.