3 Types of Relationship Fights You Keep Having
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- Опубліковано 14 вер 2022
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"May the power of therapy compel you" 💯😂💜🙌🏾
It's also worth remembering that things that are obvious to us don't have to be obvious to someone else at all so if your partner isn't doing something you believe they should be doing, it's not necessarily an attack against you. They may not realize it's hurting you.
Also, it might not even be about things being obvious, it could just be that people just place different levels of value to the same items. Like I’m a clutter bug so a lot of times I can SEE the clutter, not necessarily as clutter because I don’t feel bothered by it actually receive a degree of comfort from it. But if it were up to my mom, the house would look like no one lived in it. We just place a very different value on clear surfaces so the level of effort we’re naturally going to put into it is very different.
Ooooohhhh thats why I used to get SO annoyed with my ex for not doing chores. Like I knew it was irrational anger but I couldn't place where it was coming from and now I know :) thanks Anna :)
Whyd you date a filthy person?
@@jinchuriki7022 why blame it on her?
Dang, this was a hyper therapy session crammed into 4 min. Let’s all implement this :)
💯 that's why it's our duty to heal ourselves as much as we can offering commitment to another soul.
Definitely saw this pattern, and we were able to discuss the root of the issues, which for my ex it was my neglect of certain chores making him feel unappreciated, and for me it was his lack of initiative and understanding in certain situations that made me feel misunderstood and not accepted. The problem was breaking those patterns, and since he's my ex, you can guess we weren't successful at that. I went to therapy, but he refused to go to any form of therapy, and just tried to work through it on his own. We probably should've both gone, but I'm still in therapy and thriving, so not all bad :)
Ayo, the bad times that lead you to therapy end up being helpful times, albeit with a bit of pain or sadness as a side effect 😂
Edit: a relationship I tried to start ended with the girl telling me I needed to start caring more about myself than whoever I'm with and got me into therapy.
This is so true, the thing I get angry about is never the actual root of the emotion
At least Congress looks really happy - one successful relationship!
What would we do without Anna and the wisdom she shares
My ex and I fought over trash. It was his only chore. Near the end, he would go so far out of his way to not take it out it was comical. Sometimes I wonder what he's up to. I did all the cooking, cleaning, and paid all the household bills. He mostly played computer games and had a part time job to afford his hobbies. I suspect he has to pay for more bills these days. Or maybe he has a house he's built out of trash. Even back then I knew it wasn't the trash exactly. It was just what we had agreed he'd contribute. That he wasn't holding his weight as a team upset me, and what's more was his lack of wanting to.
kinda needed this. ive been trying to have good communication with my partner and have grown so much in the last few months to make sure i was ready for the relationship. i tried to have hard conversations with my partner but it was like always always talking to a wall. he would just shut down. i told him i needed more care and communication on his part and he ended up dumping me and hasn't even had the decency to tell me why. i guess no matter how much work you do yourself, you cant expect your partner will do the same.
Ey, you really can't expect your partner to do the same. They have to be willing to. I am like your guy in your case, and still am in a way but with improvements. It's a struggle. You really have to open up, be vulnerable. I would shut down. I'm lucky I have a wife that stuck through it all, puts up with me, and is patient enough to work with me. Blessed.
That's awful that it was his reaction to your open and honest communication. Sounds like you dodged a bullet to me! You deserve a partner who can handle being honest and authentic and won't break down at the first sign of trouble.
"I VOW to bring more eroticism into our marriage!"
*growls*
I lost it lmao
Congress' ADORABLE and happy face while getting scratches is TOO cute 😍
THE EDITING WHERE THEY GET ALL WOBBLY AS THEY GET ENLIGHTENED T_T I LOVE IT SM
When I've been at work all day and my GF has finished her 6th episode of Breaking Bad for the day and hasn't put the laundry in the machine that washes it for her... I’m really just angry that she hasn't done it.
You are the best !! Thank you so much for being my big sister and showing new healthy ways to navigate life. And making me feel less alone in my struggling. You’ve been my big sister for the past 4 years and I’m so grateful I got to grow alongside with you. So thank you really
I love how every single of your videos makes me go "Aaahaa!! So that's why! Interesting!" ☺️ or they improve my mood depending on whether you went with comedic or educational 😄
Good advice always goes down better with good comedy.
Your content is so funny, entertaining AND helpful!! Thanks for sharing your gifts with the internet 💜
I love you Anna ♥️ I've grown up watching you and you've helped me be a better person, thank you so so much! ♥️
these videos are so important, im single and have never been in a romantic or sexual or just super close platonic relationship but tbh these work p well for relationships in general
2 bangers in a row, keep it up champ!
These are always great.....but I can't help but think the out-take reel must be hilarious :)
So well articulated, I wish 😩
Thank you for this!! I watched it late but today’s was the day I needed to see it!!
*Taking Notes*
I saw congress in your lap and it made me so happy!
Thank you for the education Dx
Those are argument’s over chores. I have arguments over compatibility, living arrangements, travel expectations, living and or apartment expectations, number of partners, relationship doubts. 😊
Mr. Grumpy Cat is so loving your massage game! Love it!
Also, accurate. My recent Exes did the feeling/intimacy neglect and wanted to skateboard over it when THEY were feeling better. Eventually couldn't take it.
Hit the nail right on the head.
I got to use the sunlight beam thing but with my family and parents 😂
That outfit at 0:54 was OMG i was STUNNED
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽thank for thisss
Love your content!
Thank you cat lady!
Loveeeeee these videos 😭😭
Like hacks and pro-tips , this is what the web is great for.
A visual note or chart at the end of the advice would be very handy because You're going fast forward into heavy solutions but I'm sure the audience would be OK if the vids could be a tad bit longer than a song length.
Great stuff you've covered there.
I wish I knew that earlier (but not expect to learn that in our current rotten education system).
stay awesome gotham
Love you Anna💛💛💛💛
2:57 happy cat
Your backgrounds are always so cute lol
Part of the fun is trying to find different things for discussion.
I always love your videos but this one especially😆
Neah... sometimes it's just people being annoying by being slobs.. especially when the tolerance for dirty dishes and full bins is different...
You either need to find somebody at a similar level of tolerance to you or accept you may be stuck with the chores because of your lower tolerance.
Just make it even some other way if you feel you have to...
Yeah, but cleaning up after yourself, because you know your partner will appreciate it, is a very simple way to show that you care.
Love you Anna!!!👍👍👌
Idk. Those dimensions certainly play a role. However, there is also a pure functional aspect to this: I want the clothing to be cleaned up, because I like living in a tidy room. That's it. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Not everything is about deeper emotions.
Helpful~
Hola Miss Akana and everyone ❤
early i love your videos sm
You’re doing God’s work
I'm in love with the flowery crop top. And thanks for the therapy.
Yes. All.
Thank you Anna, I love you❣️ We have a power to change anything. I have been watching her channel for almost 2 years and she has helped me to be a better peson so much. And I can learn English as well☺️ I have never commented to say thank Anna but try to share what my appreciation here and what I learn from her here from now on.
You're so amazing! Thanks for commenting on here! I also don't comment often, but I respect and value Anna so much
She's awesome!
Well if it's the only thing that keeps us conversation 😉
How have we not had an Anna Akana-Dr Kirk Honda therapy crossover collab? 😱🤷♀️
Here under 3 minutes!
How much each of you give and how little each of you take for granted, will determine the success of a relationship.
💙UA-camr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships
SIGN language: Shame, Ignore, Guilt, Need to be Right
Oh, gosh. It's like a light turned on in my head after seeing this. My ex used to do all four of those. Pray tell: what exactly is this type of behavior a SIGN of?
Omg had all of these fights too many times😭
Incredible how stuck in the I'm, I still thik about Riley Rewind
LOVE it ! Yr friend n u r such perfect 👍🏻 duo! I burst 💥 to laugh ! So funny ! U 2 r more funny than stand up commedy
Relationship are a constant negotiation and balance 🙃
Dudee her cat😂😂🤣🤣
literally my ex and I fought all 3 types of fight and I really wanted to work on things but he gave up 🙃
This is amazing 💗. Where did they write it ? Book title & author ?
Chai nwannem...I'm from Nigeria and I love u so much
Wow
I can't believe this woman is still a thing...No joke, just can't believe shes still doing these videos.
Good to see Congress.
This is wonderful and valid. Except on those rare occasions where it really is about dishes being left in the sink, trash not being taken out, and laundry being left around the house and not being put on.
It’s not that hard to put dishes in the dishwasher, take the trash 10 meters to the bin outside and at the very least put the laundry in a basket if you can’t put the laundry one.
for some it can be really hard ^^ because of mental health
but there are defently cases where the person is just lazy also
I don't see that problem since this is for the person being complained at to use and basically tells them why to go do this dishes.
Well, then the fight is still about respect though, isn't it? You're mad that your partner is messy because it's disrespectful of them to leave all the work to you
Sasha Waybright
Just like Lionel Richie, Anna was dancing on the ceiling when her partner linked the removal of clothing from the ceiling to the love she ultimately received by defiantly taking out the trash.
Unrelated but where is her yellow 🎀 tanktop from..? I always wonder when I see it lol.. so cute
Here’s a tip from a happily married guy of 32 years: hire a freakin cleaning person to worry about cleanliness! Seriously, not worth all the daily back and forth and “counting” about who last did the dishes, took the garbage out, etc.
That being said, my wife and I have certain unwritten rules that we’ve abided by for many years: 1) never leave dishes in the sink…rinse them and straight to dishwasher and hence never a dish in the sink, 2) taking out the garbage is my deal…might date back to Neanderthal man days, but I get a certain joy out of putting out the trash and don’t ever expect my wife who weighs all of 110 pounds to lift bags of trash although she’s fully capable, 3) food shopping is a joint and fun activity unless of course she’s working or I’m working and then default action is whomever is not working is expected to shop for groceries, 4) doing the laundry seems to be a bigger deal for my wife than it is for me, but we still do it jointly. I start the wash and she folds, mainly cuz she hates the way I fold.
It’s all about pitching in and forgetting about traditional roles or “counting” who last did xyz. That’s a buzzkill
Just do a full twelve hours of you stroking Congress The Brave. SO helpful to us with kitty therapy!
same
You should cite your sources, especially if you're quoting word for word. Plagiarism isn't ethical.
For anyone interested, this is from an article titled:
The 3 Types of Relationship Fights You Keep Having-And What To Do About Them
By ESTHER PEREL and MARY ALICE MILLER
Congress is being so cute
Look at that lucky fluffy bastard :'3
Té amo
Those are not the arguments I have at all 😊❤
He forgot the 4th. When he person want to upset there partner intentionally, for (they a bad uncaring person), (seeing someone else behind the partners back and want to break up) or (just like to argue).
Where is the line between being emotionally intuitive and codependently hypervigilant when interpreting and providing for needs that are indirectly expressed like this?
Felt the ceiling clothes scene a little too much 😅
Would these concepts apply to friendships too? Or would this level of expectation be too high (obviously depending on the nature of the friendship, casual acquaintances vs a close friend)
It definitely could. My brother and I are roommates. We didn’t go to therapy for it, but we realized months ago that we had the familial/roommate equivalence of these concepts. (I felt taken advantage of financially and with domestic labor, he was resentful that I struggle with keeping all dishes perfectly cleaned constantly with no food particles anywhere when we dealt with sewer roaches.) He knew where his frustration came from, but it wasn’t until I could pinpoint and call out mine that things changed (not immediately, but within a month.)
Hi Congress
I’ve never been this early before
I'm Anna Akana ✨
GIIGII GOOGOO 👹
algo
I also dont think this is exclusive to only intimate/romantic relationships
I've had these arguments with friends and family as well.
Not watching types of relationship fights when I dont have relationships to begin with...
I’m going thru some of these things with my girlfriend and let me tell ya, at the end we sleep good 😘
Her face at 2:45 😂
Your right I clean myself but my plies of clothes could be better cared for as for y don't we have ... Uh you haven't been around... Plus I work a lot and my room smells like uh cats... I don't have a cat unfortunately...
Is that Congress?!
Ana I found Ur page after seeing youth and consequences n to be honest u killed it in that please act more ...u brought the intellectual to a teenage movie ...I will stretch n say u have redefined how I view therapy n the importance of understanding urself...ps my boyfriend is going to die once he realises I used his UA-cam to leave a comment ..ooh the govt...ooh Google tracking....😏worth it
cat!
Anna more cats in videos please k thanks
I'm too early to read inspiring comments, I'll come back