@@Autistic_AFme too literally after I watched this although I know I’m autistic due to a professional diagnosis and because it’s hereditary my dad side of the family honestly I don’t know if I was expecting to identify as a neurotypical lol I’m a late diagnosed female who was diagnosed at 30. I’ll briefly share. I always felt different than most girls well now I’m a woman. I even went to university to study Psychology at first then we did a lecture on autism yet you know when it comes to autism people or lecture tend to use young boys as a typical behaviour almost like a blueprint of autism whereas we know better now it’s a spectrum. When people would ask me why I chose psychology I’d say things like I’m trying to figure out what’s wrong with me most neurotypical would think I’m joking. For example I have memory of my first ever nursery experience& how I’d watch other children make friends yet i couldn’t but what made me cope was because I’m high functioning so I was always extremely bright so teachers really loved me lol I got AHD too so bare with me if I’m jumping from timeline to timeline lol I always had neurotypical mum side of the family oh how it made sense after my diagnosis finding out how girls tend to unknowingly mimic certain behaviours that are deemed as normal to fit it. In my adulthood or teenage years I made friends by default. I don’t know if that makes sense, like in school in the UK if they were African from French speaking countries they will try to get close then over the years we fallout and they will call me insensitive blunt or rude lol whereas to me I’m being nice but after having studied psychology at university for 1 year I was bored so I decided to study social sciences just to go deeper because I felt psychology wasn’t deep enough after university after Covid I was found just me and my daughter and any family members or the usual one friend I have who’s basically family now. At the time we wasn’t close friends no more so I started working for this insurance company and that’s the first official job that I had to interact with my teal we had a team meeting at least 3 or 4 times a week& because I was still within my 6 months probation I’d literally be physically tired after work. I know I hated big crowds and please don’t ask me how I thought it was okay to cry when I go to a big shopping mall around my default friends because it was too crowded then I will take 2 or 3 days to regulate myself I’d literally be physically tired. At work I realised when I’m overwhelmed by the amount of social interactions I had to have I’d result automatically into mutism then i started to get bullied at work for things I had no control over. Yet last night i watched Orion Kelly that autistic guy here on UA-cam he made a video about women and men autism and the overlap similarities. I’d say this some autistic people look really gifted social yet for us women it’s more of an internal battle for example lol if you see me interacting on social media I mask so well but internally I don’t. My man/person gets to experience just hard it’s for me to grasp certain social cues yet I’m 33 this year so I’ve had practice i would say although being diagnosed at 30 but I got to study people. Psychology& social science at university. When I record a video of myself I find myself stimming by playing with my hair or rubbing my hands together and specially playing with my hair or my watch so I seem normal but there’s cracks like my comment sections are always off. On Instagram and X except on TikTok yet I’m hardly ever in there unless I’m shopping. There’s certain interests of mine, in my special interests where I’m musically gifted. I’m very good at astrology and I love movies and I adore philosophy so I comment on those particular pages or posts on my special interests yet when I post my intake on the subject my comment are always off because I get overwhelmed knowing too many people are aware of my existence yet I’m here doing the same thing on UA-cam but I have no pictures of myself so I feel abit better and I can speak about my autism experiences any day yet I get people say to me well you seem normal. After my formal diagnosis my family started noticing the gaps they’d be like you’re autistic for real yet outsiders don’t get to notice it so much. Do you think for us who are on the spectrum age and experience we’ve had being in society or social settings makes a difference on how well we mask to seem like we’re fitting in when deep down we internally know we don’t fit it?
Newly diagnosed Autistic, I had the most validating experience last week😬🎉 10 years of relationship. 10 years of fights. 10 years of being told there is something wrong with me. 30 years of feeling like rubbish. This weekend we went shopping and for a number of reasons... I shut down. My partner recognised and showed me so much love. I'm blown away.
This is good to hear. But isn’t it sad that we have to have a diagnosis before people who are supposed to care about us stop treating us cruelly? I could say this about my mum - she used to blame me for all of my struggles as though I’m just lazy or useless. Since I was diagnosed she doesn’t now say these things. But I had 37 years of being constantly put down.
@@Ragdollcatlover I don't judge them. Hell 12 months ago I didn't even realise just how different everyone else's experiences were. I thought I just sucked at being a human. Now I realise that's true but at least I can do something about it.. similar experience to my partner. At least she can do something about it now.
@@KierenSummers I wish my dad was like you. I think he's AuDHD with some BPD on top of it, and while I'm the one who's tried the most to understand and help him, he's in denial or just unable to monitor/understand his own functioning. Last time I tried to open him to ADHD he went into a meltdown/BPD tantrum. Quite a piece of work, smh...
@@guillaumeb6698 wow mate. Sorry to hear. Sounds like your father is exactly the same as mine. It's not easy to deal with. I use the "grey rock method". It's hard but just accepting that it's not possible to have the relationship you want with that kind of person. You'll go through the stages of grief. There will be moments that pull you back into believing it's possible... But it's not. Final stage of grief is acceptance.
Drawing a distinction between schedules and routines, as well as explaining routines as flexible patterns that become natural over time was invaluable. Excellent 👏🏼
Some autistic people are hyposensitive. In other words, they do not feel overly stimulated by loud sounds, or lights, or smells. We can be hyper stimulated by one sense, and hypo stimulated by other sensory inputs. It can be a sign of autism if extremely loud, colorful, or bright sensory inputs do not phase you. I am hyper sensitive to perfumy fragrances. I used to think I had some form of chemosensitivity because of this. It would make me feel sick to be around fragrances. Loud music has never bothered me. At the same time I do not feel pain the way other people do. From the time I was very small I would get bruises and not know how they happened. My mom assumed that I must bruise easily because there was no way that I could have such severe bruising without remembering the injury. Now I am older I realize that I just don't feel impact pain the way other people do. Just the other day I had a small cut on my head with swelling all around it and my son was "What happened to you?" I had no answer. I still do not remember hitting my head.
you can also be hypersensitive and sensory seeking because it feels great when that sense is properly saturated. in school i couldn't go from one class to the next without giant headphones blasting music, dinner parties are waking nightmares, but i love an arcade or concert or even a sufficiently packed convention exhibitor hall, this delayed my diagnosis by a decade.
@ Yes! I used to love to go out with live music and dancing. I didn't realize it at the time, but i liked that loud music meant that conversation wasn't needed. It gave me the opportunity to socialize without lots of small talk,
@@SPyoutube42069I still can’t do life without headphones. I don’t think I’ve intentionally left the house without headphones…ever? The one day I went to work and forgot my headphones a few years ago I wanted to kill myself. I ordered a pair of “work headphones” to keep in my drawer for emergencies that very same day and they’ve been there ever since, though I haven’t ever needed them.
@@SPyoutube42069Sometimes it’s not the volume of the noise, or the brightness that we’re sensitive to either. For me, it’s the consent of it all. I consent to listening to loud music in my ears all day long, and sometimes going to metal concerts. There are a lot of other sounds that make me react viscerally when I hear them. The sound of hearing people eating food puts me on edge. I don’t even like it when I can hear myself ear, let alone other people.
When you have both ADHD and the autism spectrum, it often lacks in the department of some autistic signs. You might not be as sensory sensitive (until tired or at some higher level for a longer time). You might not have one deep interest, but changing interest-like obsessions. You might not keep any routines or schedules but still have some things that you want not changed (like one sitting place by the table or one favorite plate or one certain way you want your favorite dish cooked even if it changes hardly anything about the dish). You might be seen as social and extraverted by others because of your energy, but you have problems with relations anyway, problems with understanding body language and social situations, and not having as many friends as your peers. You might even seem like a person with bipolar disorder with rather short phases of energy and positivity vs phases of anxiety and sensory overload. It might change daily or even a few times a day. Your ADHD-based procrastination might be a weird one, too - as instead of doing what you should, you fall into your temporary deep interests and take time to dive into some rabbit hole.
This explains why some of my traits do not seem to resonate with autism. My friend who was diagnosed autistic felt he was also ADHD. I’m not a hyperactive person by nature, but my mind is always overthinking and I do periods of obsession over specific subjects that last anywhere from 4-8 weeks before I start obsessing over something else. I also have particular routines or patterns that remain the same even if there is a small change like sitting at the same chair at the dining table or eating in specific ways with whatever food I’m eating. Thanks for the great description of how both autism and ADHD can be joined without taking away from each other.
@taoist32 The thing is that these things are spectrum - every one is a bit different. I'm not some sort of specialist, but have extensive personal experience. I have Autism spectrum + ADHD. My wife has Autism spectrum + much milder ADHD. We are both highly functional. I have 4 kids with different levels of mix of ADHD and mild Autism spectrum. 3 of them professionally diagnosed, fourth one too young but has some visible symptoms. This is genetic, but not in a straightforward way. My son, 10 years old, has the most similar combination to mine in the family, but I have no hyperactivity and never had, when he has very high hyperactivity.
I am diagnosed with autism- yet I never struggled making friends. What I couldn’t do, and still struggle with, is keeping them or having any semblance of joy out of them. It drains me and I eventually bow out. That’s why ‘social success’ is an important way to describe this rather than ‘you can make friends.’ Good stuff, Mike!
I don't realize how much i rely on routies until I move to a new apartment or go on vacation and all my stuff is in the wrong place and my routine is mssed up and I feel so confused and frustrated in the morning! It takes me like 4x as long to get breakfast, coffee, meds, dressed, and ready in the morning, and I'll have a headache and stomach ache all morning just because THINGS ARE WRONG AND I DON'T LIKE IT. Vacation can be stressful the first couple days, I have to give myself grace to relax, take a nap on the beach, have a low-key day or else i get all upset and stressed and ruin the whole beginning of the vacation.
I would like to point out that an autistic person who, like me, is capable of almost seamless masking/camouflaging, may never be told by others that they are behaving oddly. This does not mean that constant social vigilance and conscious copying of neurotypical behaviour does not come at a price in exhaustion and, sometimes, poor mental health. There is a general view that autism is measured by inabilities, when, in reality, many autistic people are able to do most or all the social things that neurotypicals do, except that they do so through active use of the intellect, rather than unconsciously. This is chronically stressful.
This is the best way I have ever seen anyone explain the difference. What is a heavily cognitive task for us is just... intuitive to others. I understand a lot of social rules in theory. I understand why they exist, and not all of them are arbitrary, even though some are. But it's exhausting to have to constantly be filtering through that in real-time while trying to talk to someone.
Lack of routine in autism can also be indicative of Burnout or ADHD or both. I am still dealing with "Hoarding" and " eating disorder issues" when the issue is my executive functioning is affected by PTSD and burnout. A lot of autistic burnout symptoms are mistaken for something else
Autistic burnout scares me. I have been very careful my whole life not to burnout, because my mother had a breakdown when I was about 12 and it was scary (not sure if it was autism-related; she just recently told me she scored high on the CAT-Q, but not the RAADS-R, which is interesting; she’s also been retired for over a decade and is about to turn 71, so… 🤷♀️). 😰
There's a lot of self doubt, especially when authority figures on YT give their own examples of autism, and your experience is different. That's normal. Everyone's experience is different. But if you were diagnosed with autism, you're probably autistic.
@@Autistic_AF The socialising part sounds like a neurotypical is just extroverted. I fit right in with the autism-explanation since I'm very introverted, have a bunch of mental diagnoses (including ADD), and I'm exhausted after socialising, no matter who it's with. Two hours tops, then I need to go home, be alone, do nothing and not have sensory input. I thought autism socialising problems was more about not getting social cues, reading other's people's emotions and misunderstanding situations? Those I'm naturally good at, so I thought that made me unable to have autism. I diagnosed with strong autistic traits, but because of my social skills I never got the diagnosis. I'm confused about what autistic people actually struggle with socially?
@@SamirCCat this is interesting so I'll give my tuppence. This social thing isn't one size fits all. If you're a woman, if you're not very young, if you've observed and tried to emulate NTs all your life, you may have learnt social cues etc and can pass off as social. The crunch is, do you enjoy being in a social situation, do you seek it out? Then, do you need recovery time, even if you enjoyed it? For example, I had a group of work friends who would go out to do pub quizzes. If I went, I would really enjoy them, showing off my lazer sharp memory for facts and if one of my passions came up, my team were headed for success. They had to give me a pen and paper to write down my answer because, in my excitement I would shout out the answer 😂. But. I would never ask to go to the pub quizzes and I would never set one up. I would never want to 'go on somewhere else'. I would go straight home and sleep for a couple of hours or stim and be nonverbal. You can learn the 'how to' - masking, you can enjoy it but it still feels a bit unnatural and you don't seek it. Everyone is different, even autistic people😊
@@SamirCCat All these autism diagnoses are just completely arbitrary. I don't buy it. There's a thing called classic autism, which is a clear case. These people could not speak, couldn't make eye contact and didn't want physical contact. Now everybody can be called ''autistic'' and they just use it as an insult to call someone dumb or creepy.
Very succinct! I'm late 40's and self diagnosed. Autism diagnosis was in its infancy when I was a kid. Taking time out to decompress is a massive tool.
I am good at socializing strictly because I got a degree in it. Part of the reason why I got a degree in psychology is because I wanted to understand people. It took me a college degree to start to become good at socializing.
I'm not good at it _at all,_ but when I've got a reason I can talk to people as long as everything goes to plan. Two days ago I took my possibly (didn't try to get a diagnosis yet) also autistic daughter to buy some things and she was overwhelmed by the people and the impressions and didn't know that particular mall, ... meanwhile I was overwhelmed by some merry-go-round they had placed at the entrance - the lights and the music and it had been moving, ... So she led me in, I led her through and guarded her from the cashier talking to her, ... dreamteam. 😉 On the way home through quiet and dark backstreets she said she doesn't understand how I can just talk to people. "It comes with practise and experience." - "Please don't force me!" - "I won't. Once I've been like you. It still is too much, I just learned to stand it for a while. And so will you."
Pretty sure this is why I like serving. I also have adhd so being paid to socialize is ideal lol everything I do is structured in building myself, and my neurodivergent partner needs the same hard structure of personal growth. I consider myself high maintenance but I maintain myself . Sooo.
Many autistic people use it as an excuse to not even try to socialise, like they’re above it…we all need to deal with other people, whether we click with them or not
Incidentally, I have to say I absolutely love Gates’ self-description with ND affirming language. Of course he’s long been thought by many to be autistic-and for years I’ve thought it would be wonderful for the community if he was just open about it. But that’s ultimately a selfish perspective. What he’s doing is exactly what I want for everyone. Openly affirming, validating, authentic expression. No one has to hear him say he’s autistic anymore than Tim Cook needs to announce his sexuality.
I agree, entirely - and also for somewhat selfish reasons. And openly affirming, validating, authentic expression for very genuine reasons, the same, too. 🧡
Another great video. I found you while looking for answers to help me with my daughter, but the more I listened to you, I wondered if I am also Autistic. I took the test you suggested and yes, I am almost certainly Autistic. I inquired about getting officially tested and my psychiatrist asked me what traits I thought I had in common with my daughter. I got the sense she was alluding to not many as my daughter is aggressive and I'm quite passive. Then she said that it's expensive to get diagnosed and the treatment wouldn't be any different than what I'm doing now (I'm already diagnosed ADHD). I suppose she has a point, but it's still disheartening.
Hi Kajean, Aww, I'm sorry you had that dismissive experience. In some respects, the psychiartrist is correct in that they don't actually do much for autism - they're medical doctors and prescribe medications. There's nothing for autism (would you take it if there was?). ADHD on the other hand.... ;) There's a high (70-90%) genetic, hereditary basis for autism, and that's a good a reason as any to enquire about an assessment when someone in the family is diagnosed. Not that you need any reason at all. Sometimes, running it through with a neuro-affirming (i.e. strengths based) professional can be extremely valuable. It helped me with my imposter syndrome... Thank you for being here. 🧡
I've had the same experience with seeking an Autism Dx after having one for ADHD. I have a friend who is getting both an ADHD and Autism assessment in the same system. I asked for an Autism assessment and was told they didn't do them for adults. So if I had requested both at the same time, I probably would have gotten it. Oh well. Essentially, the doc is right about not really doing much different with an official Dx with the exception of needing any accommodations. I've been thinking about that though and wondering if we could get the same accommodations under our ADHD Dx? Still, it would be nice to have that professional evaluation, especially when it comes to gaslighters and naysayers.
She was right, no treatment for ASD, the assesment is very expensive, unless you need an asses.ent for serious reasons, no need to spend a fortune o. The assesment. Go for an NHS one, but it will take years
@@AlissaSss23No treatments, but some countries have ways to help autistic people with different resources available for those with a formal diagnosis. It also can help for people who may need to claim disability pay as it does for myself. Without my formal diagnosis, I would not only be unable to work, but I wouldn’t qualify for disability to be able to pay any rent, or buy any groceries. I actually don’t where I would be, or what would have happened to me if I couldn’t access disability payment.
Thanks for this video - it's very informative and validating! Something I (mid-40s) really find useful from your videos is the insight into my childhood and how different behaviours and needs manifested themselves; I always internalized them as 'things I do to not annoy or intrude on others', but reality they were self-preservational behaviours that helped me avoid situations I couldn't handle (like entering a classroom after class began) or taking time to myself after being social so I didn't bite people's heads off (from what I've come to understand was just being overstimulated). I don't know if I'm autistic, but framing my behaviours, preferences, and needs with autism has made my life substantially better. Not 'fixed' better, but 'free to be me' better.
Bernadette Grosjean (psychologist from Canada, with lots of vids here on UA-cam) has a rule-of-thumb for identifying autistic adults. She says: if you think you are autistic and you have done the 100s of hours of research, then you probably are autistic. I guess her experience is that neuro-typical people just don't do that.
I feel like while this could be true, self-diagnosing yourself as someone not having medical/psychiatric knowledge could also lead to another diagnosis with similar symptoms. The points made in the video could also be true to someone having ADHD, but you can probably find out if you are neurotypical instead of having autism.
@@simdan2Someone who delves into a subject for months or years is usually not neurotypical. The average neurotypical does not read or watch videos every single day for the past 4 years on the same subject unless it’s their job. I 100% consider myself autistic. It’s taken these last 4 years to confirm to myself that I’m on the spectrum. It’s also been decades of wondering why I don’t have the typical responses or abilities of the average person.
14:30 "Many late-diagnosed autistic people experience this huge shift in identity, and it's intense. If this hasn't happened to you... you might just not know it yet." I appreciate this point being mentioned. I sometimes listen to these 'signs you might not be autistic' videos out of interest in what a list like that would look like. They mostly seem to say similar things, and what's most interesting to me is that, while I now recognize how the vast majority of the autistic traits discussed genuinely apply to me/the non-autistic traits don't, that's only come after discovering that I'm autistic and then spending years of intense dedicated work learning to connect with myself and slowly unravel the 'mask' enough to even really recognize how much I'd been wearing one. For most of my life I was so identified with my mask, so highly dissociated, and so indoctrinated in gaslighting (and all unconsciously so) that I would not have recognized myself well enough to see how traits like those discussed here and in most videos like this do/don't apply to me; so if I'd been at a point where I wasn't sure if I was autistic, information like this would more likely have rather led me to erroneously suspect I wasn't autistic. For me, I had a strong intuitive recognition that I'm autistic long before I cognitively understood what that meant; and I was able to come into understanding what being autistic meant and consciously recognize how completely it made sense for me and my life by slowly listening to lots of autistic people (thank you internet and people like Mike sharing) talk about their lives and experiences, whereas lists of traits and criteria were inaccessible and inappropriate for me and my situation.
I’m definitely autistic with comorbid ADHD, and have the hellishly acquired official late diagnoses to prove it. I didn’t realize i was autistic in spite of my atypical affect, elaborate routines, overreactions to seemingly trivial details and multilingual hyperlexia. I grew up a twin, and all my intellectualizing of social situations, hiding away after each time i had to leave the confines of my safe spaces, and other idiosyncrasies were just things i had to “deal’ with, or things that made me a horrible person, i should be ashamed of myself, or i should behave, or some other such empty platitude of unrealistic expectations. I very much internalized the ableism i grew up in until i realized it was suffocating me as it started to dawn on me that the face of autism was staring back at me through the mirror. I didn’t know who i was beneath the mask. I didn’t;t know i could flail and rock and twirl and play air piano, the i could pursue my interests with them kind of excellence unreachable in subjects i have little or no interest in, be myself without constantly worrying about what I’m doing and how i move among these strange creatures which look vaguely like me. Realizing i was autistic and adapting my socialization attempts made it possible for me to construct a social life and a circle of friends. All on my own. People who not only accept my weird, loud, twirly self, but encourage me to unmask and feel free. That’s not something i thought I’d ever have. I still feel like an utter alien though. My life among humanity is, and will always remain a kafkaesque exercise in misfitting absurdity. Thanks for this video. My meltdown and i enjoyed the distraction and your very nicely differentiated elaboration.
Aha! I’m the exact opposite. I realized I was autistic, and was lucky enough to be formally assessed in my final year of high school. It was only last year that I suspected I may also have ADHD and underwent the ADHD assessment with the same psychologist who did my autism assessment over a decade ago, and learned that I do, in fact, have ADHD. I just started meds a month ago, and it helps a lot! …Still autistic though 😂
@ delightful! I wish my diagnostic process was that straightforward. I had to take myself to a psychiatrist in my transplant country during uni. It took them no time at all to figure out the ADHD, but my comorbidity and symptom complexes are so convoluted, that I went through a dozen doctors and multiple misdiagnoses before they settled on “atypical autism”. My psychiatrist says he wants to do an OCD diagnostic too, but I have been avoiding him since he said that to me. I really don’t have the patience for yet another diagnosis, and the way things are going in Germany and globally atm, another code in my folder is the last thing I need.
Mike, the trick with movement on-stage is to move strategically. Use movement for effect and enhancement of your message, like a performance. Being blind, I had to literally learn all this when I was a Toastmaster: what movements would help in what situations, when to move, when standing still would be more powerful etc. `The goal is congruence between voice, face and body language because this is said to engender trust and credibility in an audience. Eventually, though, I just got sick of feeling like a puppet and decided to move only when my heart, or the moment, or the audience, directed me to do so. Notably, I don't do all this so much in social situations any longer. Having been 'taught' to behave like a lady when young it seems I still didn't manage to succeed in fooling everyone that I wasn't odd because I have zero idea of how I come across to others. 🤭
For me in my forties, I have to go back to before I was a teenager to see a lot of things that caused problems. So much things that triggered me back then, I looked at logically, realized fussing over wouldn't change things, so I just changed my brain. 20 years ago I had my last melt down, because I chose to reset my brain to shutdown instead because I thought blubbering was stupid and unpleasant. I actually felt that change physically happen in my brain. The downside to that change was I lost the emotion of joy and a reduction in emotionally intensity overall.
I really appreciate the distinction you made here between schedules and routines. For a a number of years after my autism dx, I struggled with imposter syndrome because I was told autistics benefit from schedules and routines, but I could NOT stick to any schedule for long. Eventually I received a co-morbid ADHD dx, which seemed to explain that, but this distinction between a fixed schedule and flexible routines makes a lot of sense too. Thinking about it like this helps me see that there are things I probably always do the same way - e.g. taking a shower or getting ready for bed. Going on holiday or staying with friends/family could therefore be more difficult because I might not be able to do things the way I would at home, which actually makes a lot of sense, in relation to how exhausting I find being away from home. Perhaps it's not just the sensory and social stuff!
The binder before reaching the point of seeking diagnosis😂 Mine had nine sections with headings like “childhood traits, special interests, stimming behaviors -from instinctive to hidden/socially acceptable, sensory issues, routines, etc” Then, behind those main sections, there were the pages filled with numbered and labeled clarifications to the unsatisfactory multiple choice answer I was required to provide for the pre-assessment online tests Fluorescent lights are evil. Like so many others, it wasn’t until years later that I “connected the dots”…in retrospect, overwhelm and meltdown often manifested as fibromyalgia flare ups and migraines. I would describe the onset to others as an inability to filter out and tolerate the cacophony that is always around us such as fluorescent lights flickering and buzzing, the sounds of rubber soled shoes peeling up from linoleum, and the like. I didn’t realize that those other people weren’t aware of what I perceive as the constant cacophony that is always there.
Great video, Mike! I am looking forward to you video on the links between mood disorders and gut issues in Autistic folks. Sounds very interesting and relevant to me. 💜
My youtube algorithm is doing well lately because it recommended this video. I've been suspecting some sort of neurodivergence, so this video was topical for me! I relate to some parts: hypersensitivities, masking, and health issues. But many of these overlap with different disorders and experiences. Autism is already complex/complicated to diagnose, but adding in other factors like surviving childhood abuse or trauma and being queer make things like masking or stimming harder to differentiate as an autistic trait or something different. Take my experiences: I survived a lot of abuse in my child and teen years, and I've had to mask to survive those experiences. I'm also queer and have known that since I was a young teen, so being closeted was a survival mechanism. I tend to dissociate as a stress response (because of the trauma), so self-soothing with movement are a way to stay grounded in reality and my body instead of dissociating. I have hypervigilance from my CPTSD, so issues with my environment tend to be more about the CPTSD sensitivities and a sense of safety that therapy has helped with (another sign that it's likely not autism for me, because I'm assuming that if it were autism, I wouldn't have been able to reduce the severity of my reaction to environmental triggers). The obsessive rumination and mental replay analysis are one of the big ones that trouble me, and it's something I can't attribute as easily to CPTSD or suspected ADHD. The routines one also made a lotttt of sense to me. I love having a routine for most things, despite having difficulties implementing them (which I think is why I get distressed or thrown off when I can't successfully do them). It feels like such a privilege for someone to feel comfortable being themselves because cultural and systemic issues like homophobia, transphobia, racism, xenophobia, religious bigotry, and misogyny compound into issues with safety and security. Trauma makes life so, so complicated.
Great video. I don't think I've seen the difference between schedules and routines explained like this anywhere--it was really helpful. Also, hmmm. Just realized all my binders are clearly labelled except my autism binder. On the other hand, it's the only bright purple one. 🤔 I may have to borrow "military grade autism" the next time someone thinks it's sad I'm not sitting at a table socializing with ten people!😆
Sorry I had to skip backwards a couple of times in the stimming bit. I missed the bit about self-policing because I was ruminating on how I must have looked when I moved through the art gallery yesterday, with my inward turned t-rex arms and finger sequencing. 😂😂 The art was so interesting that I had a failure in the Self-policing Brain Module, and so today the Rumination and Hyper Self-analysis Module has gone into overdrive.
I am personally glad the lights and clothing textures are not on the diagnostic criteria. While I do have a slight sensitivity to light I can get through it and I have no clothing and food sensitivities. But I do have every other trait, mostly based on social and special interests
Love your video, and your reflections on how a more disabillity friendly society potentionally could help everyone. I personally become physically disabled while pregnant, and eventually i become housebound in the last weeks perhaps months. If my city was more handicap friendly, I could have been a lot more independent during those times. I even once had to cancel my doctor appointment, where, ironically, I was meant to get a diagnoses for my imobillity, because of said imobillity. It allways makes a huge difference when people/places choose to acomodate ❤️
@@little.red.corvette I had another comment here but deleted it because it came off invalidating-sorry about that. What I should have said was: absolutely, there are many reasons why autistic people don’t or can’t mask.
I've masked for decades, but as I get older, and know I'm really good in my profession, I'm able to just be me. Just today, my manager asked me a small talk question and after I replied, he said he knew I would say something weird. But I'm OK with that. I embrace being different.
I discovered that the reason I didn't enjoy some choir rehearsals was that those places had white lights. I joined the dots after 20 years of choir experience, the white lights were the only thing in common among my worst experiences. I tend to feel cold and sweaty in those scenarios. So weird.
Only in recent years have I begun wondering/suspecting I might be autistic, in spite of a lifetime of things lining up pretty consistently with it. It just needed a proper illumination of the relevant aspects as you help to clearly layout and disambiguate from confusingly similar but non autistic aspects. I especially didn't want the stigma of whatever normies associate with it (their takes seem, more often than not, disgustingly WAY off). I never wanted to be regarded as differently from anyone else, but that hasn't done anything to stop it from happening my whole life regardless, to the point that the stress of trying to fit into a world that seems to cater exclusively to neurotypical minds is outweighing the stress of dealing with the fallout or stigma of openly identifying as autist. This video may have been the tipping point for me in that regard. I never thought of it as being disabling, but if you really look at it in that social context, as well as that of environmental distractions and such, it definitely seems to be. There is also the flipside of seeing it as being "differently abled" (another term which I hate because of what most people would associate it with) - which is that we do tend to be very good at certain things, but at the expense of other things.
❤🔥 I've been in the middle of the crisis phase for a few years. I don't have the means for a diagnosis so I've just been slowly getting more and more information that further confirms the underlying suspicion I've had for a long while now. I'm pretty convinced at this point, but I keep clicking on a video like this one every now and then, just to make sure I guess
💙😺☠️ commenting with my favourite emojis! Thank you Mike for this very insightful video. I find that alcohol helped me socialise tremendously. Once I quit last March, I noticed I had masks that were coming off, and that suddenly I would be exhausted after any social interaction. I think the alcohol was covering up the social exhaustion and I always assumed it was just me being hungover. The weird thing is that I don’t remember being so exhausted when I was a kid or a teenager. I did tend to have a lot of mood swings though, so maybe that was my way of regulating? 🤷🏻♀️
I went from an existential crisis but had no idea what autism for years after and I still feel confused why no one mentioned it to me when I was researching psychology
My guess? Nobody knew. Autism as a concept or even in name is changing over time. Though research is making progress, for a long time autism was not understood or misunderstood, and in many ways still is today. For many people the concept of autism is unknown or still based on old insights and literature, and by those metrics autism is easy to miss or misdiagnose. Even when diagnosed there is often still doubt, as many concepts are not black and white. Autism can be hard to detect in others. What lies at the root of autism are things that occur in the mind. This can not be directly observed from the outside, but it can manifest itself in different ways that can be observed from the outside.
Supermarkets are horrible places for me because of lighting and sound, however dancing in clubs with loud music and lights are my release (although I don't like talking to people 😅). Sensitivities are different for everyone who is autistic.
Thanks for all the great food for thought. I have an ADHD diagnosis already....lots of signs point to autism, as well, but I've been hesitant about getting tested because too many health plans here in the U.S. don't cover it. Now I think I should just go for it.
This was actually really helpful, thank you :) I've been diagnosed last year at 33yo, but still struggle with imposter syndrome sometimes. Videos like these really help, as I happened to answer all the signs on your list with a pretty resounding no.. Guess I really am autistic lol
To learn of my autism at 51 was at first illuminating but then quickly devastating. I am way behind people of my own age and feel I will never reach my potential as I just thought I was lazy, over sensitive and dumb 😢😢
Nobody is behind people of their age because life is not a race. Im so happy for you can survive all of years. Sorry for my bad english, im from Argentina.
How I realized I was stimming: my work life used to involve spending long hours in the bucket of a boom lift. I used to rock back and forth (I thought) as a means of counterbalancing the natural swaying that happens up there. I was applying a common musical principle whereby two sine waves moving opposite of each other at the same frequency and amplitude cancel each other out -- which I assumed was sort of common knowledge. One day I was telling a coworker how to counterbalance like I do, in an effort to stave off fear that a rocking bucket means danger, and I got THAT look, like "okay nerd, I'm just afraid of heights, but you do you." Later on, I realized I did the same motion all day, everyday in certain contexts unrelated to working at heights or even working at all... Then I saw a UA-cam video about swimming and a lightbulb went off.
🐌 Hi! Thank you so much for your clever words. I'm a late diganosed ADHD, wondering if there might be some autistic genes tucked away in me somewhere. So much of what you are talking about resonates. Except I don't feel socially akward, as in not knowing what is going on or what is expected of me. It's just very, very tiring. I always feel the odd one out, even if no one has noticed it, though. Like I'm pretending. To be clever, grown-up, or whatever important rule is at play at that given occasion. I don't know... but your words comfort me a lot, so thank you!
I didn't realise I had daily routines until a housemate pointed it out... now I'm acutely aware of them and how they regulate me. They change over time but they're always there. If I'm going out anywhere I start getting my bag ready well before time, so I don't forget anything important. I always have a list of everything I need to do/take in my hard-copy diary (it's satisfying to tick things off). I don't know if some of this is to mask a lack of ability to 'go with the flow', but I think I have stopped caring 😃if I had to deliberate over what to wear, or what to eat, every day, I'd never get anything done...
I don't have a set routine; but on days off, when there's no structure to a day, I find it difficult to cope & the ADHD side of me simply flits about. I do also have a list of reasons why I'm AuDHD.
me doubting the whole time. watching this video going, yep neurotypical experience is foreign to me. speaking of... glad you mentioned that culture effects the criteria. My family didn't notice anything wrong with my blunt communication and lack of eye contact, because we're polish. so sustained eye contact is for love birds or psychopathic tyrants (going to school in australia was WILD. teachers screaming and tantrumming at me to look them in the eye... not only was it uncomfortable and distracting for me, but... it was terrifying too lol), and flaky conversation is seen as ... pathetic or small-minded, or manipulative, so it's better to be blunt and genuine.
When I got my ASD diagnosis a few months ago (horribly long and exhausting process, at least in my country it's covered by health insurance), at the last appointment I forced myself to ask the psychologist who did the assessment my single most important question regarding autism - What if I've just gaslit myself into believing all these things about my experiences? And I'm still struggling to actually accept that yes, after months of tests and questions a professional psychologist diagnosed me with ASD, but the answer she gave me then is one I feel some other people here might need to hear, too - A neurotypical person wouldn't be anxious about NOT having autism. If someone actually gaslights themselves into thinking they have all these signs, they'd gladly accept a professional diagnosis confirming their beliefs. And if someone feels they need the opportunities that come with having an autism diagnosis despite the attached stigmata, it's for a good reason and not just to follow a 'trend'. (Honestly I struggle with writing comments so I hope this doesn't come off as a rude generalization. It's obviously just my own way of interpreting her words and I'm open to hearing what other people think about this '^^)
Absolutely loved this comment and your insight, and I think it’s true! Before i was diagnosed i wanted to be autistic so badly.. I’m still not so sure why, i guess i craved the support so badly, i wanted to be able to say “i’m autistic” and have people understand me at least a bit more. And i can confidently say the diagnosis really changed my life for the better. I was able to make friends, irl, for the first time in forever! They are so understanding and accepting, like i never thought would be possible, a lot are neurodivergent as well. I am still learning to accept and love who i am fully, but it has been an amazing journey, and my impostor syndrome is almost gone because there’s just no way a neurotypical person would benefit so much from a “fake” diagnosis. I feel much more free now, knowing that i can stim and be weird, because i will never be neurotypical no matter how much i try. Almost 3 years with a diagnosis and i am already unmasking quite a lot, learning things about myself i had long forgotten.. Thank you for sharing your experiences!💗
Me thinking I didn't deep dive into autism before diagnosis in the way of a mindmap/folder of myself and autism. But then remember I dedicated my whole thesis to autism and social camouflage in women (and the benefit of photography) as a way to understand if it might relate to me (and my need for photography).
Self-diagnosed here, because my GP's system (of not giving appointments but having to phone(!) up in the morning and having to go to a same-day appointment at the whim of their diary which means I can't plan it into my day in advance which gives me extreme anxiety) is designed to prevent me accessing their services. Came here to prove myself wrong, but you just made me more certain that I'm not neurotypical. Thank you. I think?!
Got gaslighted by an autistic group when I accidentally, or rather, by their own social conventions, misbehaved, right after my diag a few years ago, which made me felt invalid even as an autistic person, and became hypervigilent. This video... Re-made me feel validated as an autistic person and see over the blind spots I did put myself after that event. Thank you.
I've got some autistic traits, definitely sensory overload, imagining and seeing 3d models, poor eye contact, limited but very strong interests. I also have reduced affect (not much facial expression). But I don't think I'm autistic. I definitely have ADHD, and am diagnosed, so that explain why I struggle with eye contact, I often don't understand what people are saying sometimes because of my poor attention. There are things that don't fit too, I'm intuitive with people, very intuitive. I am a manager and usually see the games people play and am able to it manoeuver them.
Lol I got diagnosed with aspergers when it was a thing, over 10 years ago and I've always been doubtful of my diagnosis. I think a diagnosis can be a double edged sword. It's complicated. But I've always wished I wasn't autistic because that would feel so much easier. I think I am, and probably many others are, afraid of being seen as less human in any way for being just a little different. It can feel scary to be different when you just want to feel accepted and valued as highly as anyone else. In reality we are all different and all have qualities to bring to the table. If we were all the same, there would not have been a need for us to be pack animals.
Very good video.. very good indeed. Back when I was 'down the rabbit hole' with creating children's picture books, I was thinking about schools of fish or herds of ungulates, where no individual needs to think about anything except their alignment with those around them. Perfect alignment required for survival. Contrast that with other fish that are more solitary, or those that travel in pods or herds. Do herring insist that pilot fish must stop hanging out with sharks and get a diagnosis? . Personally, I can think of environmental factors that could have contributed toward me being ASD-type "weird": growing up without any other children, or TV, until I was nearly school age being one. Waiting that long before being around other toddlers / young children most certainly has the potential to shape your sense of the world differently, just as dropping a 3-month old infant a time or two may have after-effects, including anxiety and a problem with trusting other people. My reactions are not constant, though, they vary, esp. things like making eye contact. Sometimes no problem, sometimes a real struggle. At one point I was having physical problems and went to a doctor then a specialist for tests.. that ran just 2 points short of a diagnosis of lupus. If I'd been in a different country, I would have been diagnosed with an auto-immune problem. I strongly suspect seeking a diagnosis for autism would meet the same fate, and since I'm in my mid-70's and they don't do anything different when you do have a diagnosis, I'm not enthusiastic about spending my time/money on it.. If they opened an autism-friendly / supportive spa in my area, however, all odor / lighting / sound / texture condusive to quiet recharging with whatever project you have ordered - your go-to recharge menu,.... I think I'd hang out there at least a couple times a week at least!
Flickering fluorescents lights, reactivity to clothes and textures - all of those ARE in the DSM-V. Sensory hyper and hypo stimulation is covered in are B.4: Hyper- or hyporeactivity to sensory input or unusual interest in sensory aspects of the environment (e.g., apparent indifference to pain/temperature, adverse response to specific sounds or textures, excessive smelling or touching of objects, visual fascination with lights or movement).
I never realized i had a routine, but I'm in a much better mood if i do similar things around a similar time each day. I never decided on a routine, and my current routine is not as optimal as i would like it to be, now that i know that i have one. The problem is, when i try to change this routine it does the same as not sticking to it. Then I'm easily irritated, depressed, and tired.
Yeah, the whole idea of socialising ‘to relax’ is a bizarre concept for me. There is nothing about socialising that I find relaxing. Except with maybe one or two people who know me.
I honestly thought, those things were the normal human experience. My Partner told me about a year (year and a half) ago, that he thougth I might have ADHS. I didn't think so and researched traits. A few things I have, but they were too vague, but I found that many things were also autistic traits. And that Ifound in myself more traits that could be autistic. After reflecting for months I am now thinking that my sister and I might be autistic. With my sister needing more assistance and myself being burned out after being high functioning for too long and an depressive episode. Now I'm looking into it and trying to find an institution with people who specialise in diagnosing adults. In online forums it is said that I might have to wait 6 years for an appointment.
Newly diagnosed at 52... just wished to say the existential/identity crisis after diagnosis on some days feels a wee bit like being hit square in the face with a 2 by 4 of wood... or may it is just me!
I was just taking an AQ test online and they of course asked for my credit card to see my results. So where does one go? UA-cam and here was the first video I see!
Damn. I just turned 40 and I have a google shert document with 2 categories. One is about traits that I identify with that may be autistic (or may be cPTSD or something. The other is about autistic traits that may not fit me. So far the former category has many more entries. I waffle back and forth depending on the day, whether or not I think I would meet the criteria. And some things I used to struggle with more but do a little better with now. Sometimes I feel crazy for thinking I might be and I am also terrified to bring it up to my GP or someone in general. I dont think I would be taken seriously, and it is expensive and time consuming. I am also terrified of being told I am not..then I get to go back to thinking I am crazy and just terrible at dealing with life.
"You don't tend to find blokes in Britain sitting around the pub telling each other about how they might or might not be autistic." I love this phrasing, and also that this had not occurred to me. In retrospect it seems totally obvious, but an excellent point!
It is interesting how it works with government help here in the UK. I've not yet had my assessment (Summer 2026 is when I'm meant to have mine), but the government accepted that I'm autistic and require a lot of support based on how it affects me (even if my family and an employment union had to fight for it). I still often feel like an imposter, though, despite: peer reviews; a folder full of test results, self-reflections, experiences, and parental observations that all heavily indicate me being autistic; and my GP saying that if he was allowed to diagnose me he'd have done so when he first met me and that I should start preparing so it doesn't come as a shock when I get my official diagnosis.
I could work in retail just fine, but that was after the lights were fixed. They just gave me my own department in the corner of a store or in the storage department. I was very tired at the end of the day obviously. But it was doable. For me the most annoying in a store is the radio that is always on.
The alone time. I never really noticed i needed alone time until i was older. I needed to be out of the nest to discover this. I struggled with thinking im bad for needing this alone time.
Do you have any videos on getting help from government bureaucrats...I mean doctors. I realize that every country has its own healthcare system, what I mean is how do you get through to someone with little to no training?
@@freecat1278 arguing with an idiot is like Playing chess with a pidgeon. Even if you win, they will still shit all over the board and strut around like they won anyway😂 Tldr; don't waste your energy on people who will never get it and are also not interested in getting it.
@@haplo_84 Yes, but the doctors at the veterans hospital are the gatekeepers of treatment. I tried to go to a community center to get treatment for PTSD, but they wanted $500 per hour for a social worker, not even a doctor. The sliding scale went in the other direction. One doctor asked, "Why do you want to be tested for autism? You already get a government check, just go to the beach & have fun."
Morbidity and comorbid do not refer to death. Mortality refers to death. The definition of comorbid: “denoting or relating to diseases or medical conditions that are simultaneously present in a patient.” But it still sounds “morbid.”
Those words do sound "morbid". The synonym "co-occurence" is less confusing (for those who don't know these terms or still got confused by it) but only covers the "existing together" aspect.
Vanessa van edwards explains she teaches people to use the full stage but to use your position as something to help explain. You stand on one side for one topic or one example and then walk somewhere else for the other point. She has a yt channel and 2 books that I am devouring atm. She calls herself a recovering awkward
Some of my friends open a conversation with me with "greeting ritual!" That actually works! You aren't tempted to tell people how you actually are and you can get on with the conversation
Interests/hobbies... does it count as "obsessive" if a person develops an interest in houseplants and then proceeds to fill their house with over 250 plants?
I love these types of videos! Having the criteria flipped and giving specific examples (not just general statements) is so helpful! (My favourite emoji is 😔 or 🪿)
I didn’t have an existential crisis because my mother mentioned the summer I was 21 that I might be “Aspie”; my younger cousin had just been so diagnosed. I saw no point in pursuing the diagnosis, and as a matter of fact, I had already self-identified ADHD-PI five years earlier and was diagnosed the next year, and could not have been given both diagnoses at once at that time, though I didn’t know that. So, I spent 20 years thinking I was “probably a bit Aspie, or autistic, or whatever” but never thinking it was worth pursuing diagnosis until I finally realized I am actually quite a LOT autistic! It wasn’t exactly a new thought, though. Also, I was so strictly forbidden from showing ANY emotion from such a young age that I don’t have meltdowns, or even shutdowns per se, but rather a “safe mode” where most of my brain dissociates, but just the parts needed to survive and escape the situation stay intact. It’s a form of self-defense, and it seems an odd one, where basically part of myself broke off to caretake the rest, as I could never expect anything better than emotional neglect from anyone else. 😔
I used to have a *safe mode* during a traumatic part of my life. They had their own way of perception and presentation, since they were designed to keep me safe. They were also more likely to catch physical details and recall physical events accurately. However, they were nearly blind to emotions in all regards. Now i live in a safer place. And I don't want to dissociate, because it hurts my current partner. Also, I also don't want to cut off a part of me. The current arrangement is that we are both awake at all times, but frequently the ratio between our control changes to match the situation we are currently in. It's to the point where I type and speak very differently because of this, which is interesting!
Kids always wanted to be friends with me whe I was a child. And now as an adult adults want to be friends with me. I don't want to be friends with most of them.. I rather be with myself and I don't have time to socialise. To me there is far to little time in a day. Making friends is very easy, but what if you don't want friends? Sometimes it was hard to say that I don't want to be friends, I just said ok and than never make time to hang out or what ever.. In highschool I got along with almost every group of people. The so called "nerds" and also with the "cool people". I just switched between them, 1 lunch break I would hang out with that group and the other break (same day) I would hang out with the other group. I always was kinda popular (no clue why) but I never felt that I fitted. But I never wanted to fit anything, I always had my own style and I didn't care that my style was different from others. The routine thing and schedules thing isn't me, I hate routine and schedules, even thinking about it makes me feel overwhelmed. Because it makes me over-think everything. And without routine and schedules I don't have to (over)think about it. For example if I have an appointment tommow it's bye bye to my sleep, cause there is NO WAY I can sleep because I would think about it the whole time and I can't think about anything else and I can't let it go. I also never been able to set an alarm, because this also makes me not sleep at all. As a kid I always had to leave the living room after a while and I would sit in my room or what ever I did. I remember my parents thought that was "odd" (not in a bad way). They knew I had to retreat for a while. I remember that I collected cookies. I had my own box and when me and my brother (and later a little brother) had a cookie I would never eat it immediately, but I would store it in my own cookie jar. Now thinking about it I find it a bit weird. I have no idea why I always did that. But what I do know is that I could eat a lot of cookies if I wanted to eat some cookies! (because I collected them :P) LoL
I was once diagnosed with mild Asperger's, during the very early 2010s. This was before it was lumped together with other autism as part of the same spectrum. And even though I'm part of this spectrum, it appears in me differently and I don't have all the same difficulties.
Oh, dear 😂 i watched this to get OUT of wondering, whether or not I could be autistic. Now I actually think I might be. Oh, well. Thank you so much for this video❤
not all autistics experience meltdowns or feel extremely challenged in their daily lives, yet are still autistic and probably very high on the spectrum. i've also never had a full blown meltdown but i've experienced speech inhibition and/or getting super complainy and snarky when i'm overwhelmed. so me b***ching continuously means i'm overwhelmed and overstimulated. this kind of perspective here, of trying to figure out if you're autistic, is more helpful than watching videos like " if you do x you're prolly autistic", cause the impostor syndrome kicks in and naturally trying to find excuses why you do all those things.
Busy loud crouds don't bother me. Sometimes I hear that you cant be autistic and feel that way but for me predictable loudness is stimulating and similar to quiet whereas when I hear my downstairs neighbors robot vacuum echo through the wood floor it makes my bones hurt and I feel a sensation that I can only describe as fear combined with anger and physical pain. I dont mind flashing lights at a night club or moshing in the pit but an overhead light in a building feels like it's trying to crush me. 😅
🪐As a kid I was into planets and my favorite was Saturn. Sadly I did not find anyone to share my interest with back then being a girl in rural Gernany in the 70s …
My ADHD does make it hard to choose, i tend to jump between topics. But then i get my Hyperfocus. At the same time my group of interests are probably not that far apart. I am deeply into AI and Robotics, quite curious about neuroscience and some other topics. Huge fan of musical instruments and drawing. The autistic side of me is more the sensory input overload and the social game.
I know I have it…but it’s not really bad…I don’t fit in but no longer care. I’m always singing loudly or tapping or making weird gestures with my hands without even thinking about it…I eventually realised, people that would feel uncomfortable about that are usually terrified of being themselves or being “different”…that’s a very weak and shallow way to look at another human who isn’t pretending hard enough
i always noticed the old tube lighting, i usually could tell when the ballast was dying and i could often see the patterns in the older tubes, found them interesting. Sounds is kind of odd, i can hear sections of dog whistles and i have noticed a shift in the focus of my hearing after an alarm or my phone ringing. I never cared to hide my nature or about fitting in, was too busy fighting off the kids who would not leave me be if they could not be nice.
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
And with this video, my last delusions of potential neurotypicality vanish like a fart in a hurricane.
😊
@@Autistic_AFme too literally after I watched this although I know I’m autistic due to a professional diagnosis and because it’s hereditary my dad side of the family honestly I don’t know if I was expecting to identify as a neurotypical lol
I’m a late diagnosed female who was diagnosed at 30. I’ll briefly share. I always felt different than most girls well now I’m a woman. I even went to university to study Psychology at first then we did a lecture on autism yet you know when it comes to autism people or lecture tend to use young boys as a typical behaviour almost like a blueprint of autism whereas we know better now it’s a spectrum. When people would ask me why I chose psychology I’d say things like I’m trying to figure out what’s wrong with me most neurotypical would think I’m joking. For example I have memory of my first ever nursery experience& how I’d watch other children make friends yet i couldn’t but what made me cope was because I’m high functioning so I was always extremely bright so teachers really loved me lol I got AHD too so bare with me if I’m jumping from timeline to timeline lol
I always had neurotypical mum side of the family oh how it made sense after my diagnosis finding out how girls tend to unknowingly mimic certain behaviours that are deemed as normal to fit it. In my adulthood or teenage years I made friends by default. I don’t know if that makes sense, like in school in the UK if they were African from French speaking countries they will try to get close then over the years we fallout and they will call me insensitive blunt or rude lol whereas to me I’m being nice but after having studied psychology at university for 1 year I was bored so I decided to study social sciences just to go deeper because I felt psychology wasn’t deep enough after university after Covid I was found just me and my daughter and any family members or the usual one friend I have who’s basically family now. At the time we wasn’t close friends no more so I started working for this insurance company and that’s the first official job that I had to interact with my teal we had a team meeting at least 3 or 4 times a week& because I was still within my 6 months probation I’d literally be physically tired after work. I know I hated big crowds and please don’t ask me how I thought it was okay to cry when I go to a big shopping mall around my default friends because it was too crowded then I will take 2 or 3 days to regulate myself I’d literally be physically tired. At work I realised when I’m overwhelmed by the amount of social interactions I had to have I’d result automatically into mutism then i started to get bullied at work for things I had no control over.
Yet last night i watched Orion Kelly that autistic guy here on UA-cam he made a video about women and men autism and the overlap similarities.
I’d say this some autistic people look really gifted social yet for us women it’s more of an internal battle for example lol if you see me interacting on social media I mask so well but internally I don’t. My man/person gets to experience just hard it’s for me to grasp certain social cues yet I’m 33 this year so I’ve had practice i would say although being diagnosed at 30 but I got to study people. Psychology& social science at university. When I record a video of myself I find myself stimming by playing with my hair or rubbing my hands together and specially playing with my hair or my watch so I seem normal but there’s cracks like my comment sections are always off. On Instagram and X except on TikTok yet I’m hardly ever in there unless I’m shopping. There’s certain interests of mine, in my special interests where I’m musically gifted. I’m very good at astrology and I love movies and I adore philosophy so I comment on those particular pages or posts on my special interests yet when I post my intake on the subject my comment are always off because I get overwhelmed knowing too many people are aware of my existence yet I’m here doing the same thing on UA-cam but I have no pictures of myself so I feel abit better and I can speak about my autism experiences any day yet I get people say to me well you seem normal. After my formal diagnosis my family started noticing the gaps they’d be like you’re autistic for real yet outsiders don’t get to notice it so much. Do you think for us who are on the spectrum age and experience we’ve had being in society or social settings makes a difference on how well we mask to seem like we’re fitting in when deep down we internally know we don’t fit it?
Yeah it's a video that solidifies we are ND but it's good for those of us who still suffer from imposter syndrome
so real, I got to the first point and was uhhhhhh no
i wasn't diagnosed with autism when they tested me yet i get almost all of these. apparently it's more like schizophrenia for me, but ND nonetheless
I am a disgnosed autistic but my imposter sindrome forced me to watch
Was literally about to comment this myself 😅
Same. (Plus: showing my support to the channel by just watching everything Mike puts out there. 😊)
Same 😆
Haha Same 😂
Quite the opposite for me I'm trying to find a reason to say I'm not lol
Newly diagnosed Autistic, I had the most validating experience last week😬🎉 10 years of relationship. 10 years of fights. 10 years of being told there is something wrong with me. 30 years of feeling like rubbish. This weekend we went shopping and for a number of reasons... I shut down. My partner recognised and showed me so much love. I'm blown away.
So glad to hear your partner is attempting to be understanding of your condition! ☺️
This is good to hear. But isn’t it sad that we have to have a diagnosis before people who are supposed to care about us stop treating us cruelly? I could say this about my mum - she used to blame me for all of my struggles as though I’m just lazy or useless. Since I was diagnosed she doesn’t now say these things. But I had 37 years of being constantly put down.
@@Ragdollcatlover I don't judge them. Hell 12 months ago I didn't even realise just how different everyone else's experiences were. I thought I just sucked at being a human. Now I realise that's true but at least I can do something about it.. similar experience to my partner. At least she can do something about it now.
@@KierenSummers I wish my dad was like you. I think he's AuDHD with some BPD on top of it, and while I'm the one who's tried the most to understand and help him, he's in denial or just unable to monitor/understand his own functioning. Last time I tried to open him to ADHD he went into a meltdown/BPD tantrum. Quite a piece of work, smh...
@@guillaumeb6698 wow mate. Sorry to hear. Sounds like your father is exactly the same as mine. It's not easy to deal with. I use the "grey rock method". It's hard but just accepting that it's not possible to have the relationship you want with that kind of person. You'll go through the stages of grief. There will be moments that pull you back into believing it's possible... But it's not. Final stage of grief is acceptance.
Drawing a distinction between schedules and routines, as well as explaining routines as flexible patterns that become natural over time was invaluable. Excellent 👏🏼
Awww, thanks Jenn. 🧡
Some autistic people are hyposensitive. In other words, they do not feel overly stimulated by loud sounds, or lights, or smells. We can be hyper stimulated by one sense, and hypo stimulated by other sensory inputs. It can be a sign of autism if extremely loud, colorful, or bright sensory inputs do not phase you. I am hyper sensitive to perfumy fragrances. I used to think I had some form of chemosensitivity because of this. It would make me feel sick to be around fragrances. Loud music has never bothered me. At the same time I do not feel pain the way other people do. From the time I was very small I would get bruises and not know how they happened. My mom assumed that I must bruise easily because there was no way that I could have such severe bruising without remembering the injury. Now I am older I realize that I just don't feel impact pain the way other people do. Just the other day I had a small cut on my head with swelling all around it and my son was "What happened to you?" I had no answer. I still do not remember hitting my head.
Yes, that's absolutely true. Awwww. 🧡
you can also be hypersensitive and sensory seeking because it feels great when that sense is properly saturated. in school i couldn't go from one class to the next without giant headphones blasting music, dinner parties are waking nightmares, but i love an arcade or concert or even a sufficiently packed convention exhibitor hall, this delayed my diagnosis by a decade.
@ Yes! I used to love to go out with live music and dancing. I didn't realize it at the time, but i liked that loud music meant that conversation wasn't needed. It gave me the opportunity to socialize without lots of small talk,
@@SPyoutube42069I still can’t do life without headphones. I don’t think I’ve intentionally left the house without headphones…ever? The one day I went to work and forgot my headphones a few years ago I wanted to kill myself. I ordered a pair of “work headphones” to keep in my drawer for emergencies that very same day and they’ve been there ever since, though I haven’t ever needed them.
@@SPyoutube42069Sometimes it’s not the volume of the noise, or the brightness that we’re sensitive to either. For me, it’s the consent of it all. I consent to listening to loud music in my ears all day long, and sometimes going to metal concerts. There are a lot of other sounds that make me react viscerally when I hear them. The sound of hearing people eating food puts me on edge. I don’t even like it when I can hear myself ear, let alone other people.
When you have both ADHD and the autism spectrum, it often lacks in the department of some autistic signs. You might not be as sensory sensitive (until tired or at some higher level for a longer time). You might not have one deep interest, but changing interest-like obsessions. You might not keep any routines or schedules but still have some things that you want not changed (like one sitting place by the table or one favorite plate or one certain way you want your favorite dish cooked even if it changes hardly anything about the dish). You might be seen as social and extraverted by others because of your energy, but you have problems with relations anyway, problems with understanding body language and social situations, and not having as many friends as your peers. You might even seem like a person with bipolar disorder with rather short phases of energy and positivity vs phases of anxiety and sensory overload. It might change daily or even a few times a day. Your ADHD-based procrastination might be a weird one, too - as instead of doing what you should, you fall into your temporary deep interests and take time to dive into some rabbit hole.
This explains why some of my traits do not seem to resonate with autism. My friend who was diagnosed autistic felt he was also ADHD. I’m not a hyperactive person by nature, but my mind is always overthinking and I do periods of obsession over specific subjects that last anywhere from 4-8 weeks before I start obsessing over something else. I also have particular routines or patterns that remain the same even if there is a small change like sitting at the same chair at the dining table or eating in specific ways with whatever food I’m eating. Thanks for the great description of how both autism and ADHD can be joined without taking away from each other.
@taoist32 The thing is that these things are spectrum - every one is a bit different. I'm not some sort of specialist, but have extensive personal experience. I have Autism spectrum + ADHD. My wife has Autism spectrum + much milder ADHD. We are both highly functional. I have 4 kids with different levels of mix of ADHD and mild Autism spectrum. 3 of them professionally diagnosed, fourth one too young but has some visible symptoms. This is genetic, but not in a straightforward way. My son, 10 years old, has the most similar combination to mine in the family, but I have no hyperactivity and never had, when he has very high hyperactivity.
I am diagnosed with autism- yet I never struggled making friends. What I couldn’t do, and still struggle with, is keeping them or having any semblance of joy out of them. It drains me and I eventually bow out. That’s why ‘social success’ is an important way to describe this rather than ‘you can make friends.’ Good stuff, Mike!
I don't realize how much i rely on routies until I move to a new apartment or go on vacation and all my stuff is in the wrong place and my routine is mssed up and I feel so confused and frustrated in the morning! It takes me like 4x as long to get breakfast, coffee, meds, dressed, and ready in the morning, and I'll have a headache and stomach ache all morning just because THINGS ARE WRONG AND I DON'T LIKE IT. Vacation can be stressful the first couple days, I have to give myself grace to relax, take a nap on the beach, have a low-key day or else i get all upset and stressed and ruin the whole beginning of the vacation.
I would like to point out that an autistic person who, like me, is capable of almost seamless masking/camouflaging, may never be told by others that they are behaving oddly. This does not mean that constant social vigilance and conscious copying of neurotypical behaviour does not come at a price in exhaustion and, sometimes, poor mental health. There is a general view that autism is measured by inabilities, when, in reality, many autistic people are able to do most or all the social things that neurotypicals do, except that they do so through active use of the intellect, rather than unconsciously. This is chronically stressful.
This is the best way I have ever seen anyone explain the difference. What is a heavily cognitive task for us is just... intuitive to others. I understand a lot of social rules in theory. I understand why they exist, and not all of them are arbitrary, even though some are. But it's exhausting to have to constantly be filtering through that in real-time while trying to talk to someone.
Hi! I feel this deep in my bones. So true.
Lack of routine in autism can also be indicative of Burnout or ADHD or both.
I am still dealing with "Hoarding" and " eating disorder issues" when the issue is my executive functioning is affected by PTSD and burnout. A lot of autistic burnout symptoms are mistaken for something else
Autistic burnout scares me. I have been very careful my whole life not to burnout, because my mother had a breakdown when I was about 12 and it was scary (not sure if it was autism-related; she just recently told me she scored high on the CAT-Q, but not the RAADS-R, which is interesting; she’s also been retired for over a decade and is about to turn 71, so… 🤷♀️). 😰
@@misspat7555 I wish I could help.Been burnout for years
Not me watching to check that my autism hasn't expired 😂
🤣
@@sparklelion7390 same haha It's the endless need for reassurance for me lol
No I'm not either 😉
Oh, no! Did you not renew your autism license! Better get on that! /s
I've been diagnosed with ASD and I'm still trying the figure out whether I'm autistic.
There's a lot of self doubt, especially when authority figures on YT give their own examples of autism, and your experience is different. That's normal. Everyone's experience is different.
But if you were diagnosed with autism, you're probably autistic.
🧡
@@Autistic_AF The socialising part sounds like a neurotypical is just extroverted. I fit right in with the autism-explanation since I'm very introverted, have a bunch of mental diagnoses (including ADD), and I'm exhausted after socialising, no matter who it's with. Two hours tops, then I need to go home, be alone, do nothing and not have sensory input.
I thought autism socialising problems was more about not getting social cues, reading other's people's emotions and misunderstanding situations? Those I'm naturally good at, so I thought that made me unable to have autism. I diagnosed with strong autistic traits, but because of my social skills I never got the diagnosis. I'm confused about what autistic people actually struggle with socially?
@@SamirCCat this is interesting so I'll give my tuppence. This social thing isn't one size fits all. If you're a woman, if you're not very young, if you've observed and tried to emulate NTs all your life, you may have learnt social cues etc and can pass off as social. The crunch is, do you enjoy being in a social situation, do you seek it out? Then, do you need recovery time, even if you enjoyed it? For example, I had a group of work friends who would go out to do pub quizzes. If I went, I would really enjoy them, showing off my lazer sharp memory for facts and if one of my passions came up, my team were headed for success. They had to give me a pen and paper to write down my answer because, in my excitement I would shout out the answer 😂. But. I would never ask to go to the pub quizzes and I would never set one up. I would never want to 'go on somewhere else'. I would go straight home and sleep for a couple of hours or stim and be nonverbal.
You can learn the 'how to' - masking, you can enjoy it but it still feels a bit unnatural and you don't seek it. Everyone is different, even autistic people😊
@@SamirCCat All these autism diagnoses are just completely arbitrary. I don't buy it. There's a thing called classic autism, which is a clear case. These people could not speak, couldn't make eye contact and didn't want physical contact. Now everybody can be called ''autistic'' and they just use it as an insult to call someone dumb or creepy.
Very succinct! I'm late 40's and self diagnosed. Autism diagnosis was in its infancy when I was a kid. Taking time out to decompress is a massive tool.
I am good at socializing strictly because I got a degree in it. Part of the reason why I got a degree in psychology is because I wanted to understand people. It took me a college degree to start to become good at socializing.
lol, this is also why i did psychology
I'm not good at it _at all,_ but when I've got a reason I can talk to people as long as everything goes to plan.
Two days ago I took my possibly (didn't try to get a diagnosis yet) also autistic daughter to buy some things and she was overwhelmed by the people and the impressions and didn't know that particular mall, ... meanwhile I was overwhelmed by some merry-go-round they had placed at the entrance - the lights and the music and it had been moving, ...
So she led me in, I led her through and guarded her from the cashier talking to her, ... dreamteam. 😉
On the way home through quiet and dark backstreets she said she doesn't understand how I can just talk to people. "It comes with practise and experience." - "Please don't force me!" - "I won't. Once I've been like you. It still is too much, I just learned to stand it for a while. And so will you."
This! Yeah, I think I probably fit here as well. Studying psychology in a formal academic setting has helped me be better at appearing 'normal'.
Pretty sure this is why I like serving. I also have adhd so being paid to socialize is ideal lol everything I do is structured in building myself, and my neurodivergent partner needs the same hard structure of personal growth. I consider myself high maintenance but I maintain myself . Sooo.
Many autistic people use it as an excuse to not even try to socialise, like they’re above it…we all need to deal with other people, whether we click with them or not
Incidentally, I have to say I absolutely love Gates’ self-description with ND affirming language. Of course he’s long been thought by many to be autistic-and for years I’ve thought it would be wonderful for the community if he was just open about it. But that’s ultimately a selfish perspective. What he’s doing is exactly what I want for everyone. Openly affirming, validating, authentic expression. No one has to hear him say he’s autistic anymore than Tim Cook needs to announce his sexuality.
I agree, entirely - and also for somewhat selfish reasons. And openly affirming, validating, authentic expression for very genuine reasons, the same, too. 🧡
Another great video. I found you while looking for answers to help me with my daughter, but the more I listened to you, I wondered if I am also Autistic. I took the test you suggested and yes, I am almost certainly Autistic. I inquired about getting officially tested and my psychiatrist asked me what traits I thought I had in common with my daughter. I got the sense she was alluding to not many as my daughter is aggressive and I'm quite passive. Then she said that it's expensive to get diagnosed and the treatment wouldn't be any different than what I'm doing now (I'm already diagnosed ADHD). I suppose she has a point, but it's still disheartening.
Hi Kajean, Aww, I'm sorry you had that dismissive experience. In some respects, the psychiartrist is correct in that they don't actually do much for autism - they're medical doctors and prescribe medications. There's nothing for autism (would you take it if there was?). ADHD on the other hand.... ;)
There's a high (70-90%) genetic, hereditary basis for autism, and that's a good a reason as any to enquire about an assessment when someone in the family is diagnosed. Not that you need any reason at all. Sometimes, running it through with a neuro-affirming (i.e. strengths based) professional can be extremely valuable. It helped me with my imposter syndrome...
Thank you for being here. 🧡
I've had the same experience with seeking an Autism Dx after having one for ADHD. I have a friend who is getting both an ADHD and Autism assessment in the same system. I asked for an Autism assessment and was told they didn't do them for adults. So if I had requested both at the same time, I probably would have gotten it. Oh well.
Essentially, the doc is right about not really doing much different with an official Dx with the exception of needing any accommodations. I've been thinking about that though and wondering if we could get the same accommodations under our ADHD Dx?
Still, it would be nice to have that professional evaluation, especially when it comes to gaslighters and naysayers.
She was right, no treatment for ASD, the assesment is very expensive, unless you need an asses.ent for serious reasons, no need to spend a fortune o. The assesment. Go for an NHS one, but it will take years
@@AlissaSss23No treatments, but some countries have ways to help autistic people with different resources available for those with a formal diagnosis. It also can help for people who may need to claim disability pay as it does for myself.
Without my formal diagnosis, I would not only be unable to work, but I wouldn’t qualify for disability to be able to pay any rent, or buy any groceries. I actually don’t where I would be, or what would have happened to me if I couldn’t access disability payment.
Thanks for this video - it's very informative and validating! Something I (mid-40s) really find useful from your videos is the insight into my childhood and how different behaviours and needs manifested themselves; I always internalized them as 'things I do to not annoy or intrude on others', but reality they were self-preservational behaviours that helped me avoid situations I couldn't handle (like entering a classroom after class began) or taking time to myself after being social so I didn't bite people's heads off (from what I've come to understand was just being overstimulated). I don't know if I'm autistic, but framing my behaviours, preferences, and needs with autism has made my life substantially better. Not 'fixed' better, but 'free to be me' better.
Being free to be me, is so very on point. 😊
Bernadette Grosjean (psychologist from Canada, with lots of vids here on UA-cam) has a rule-of-thumb for identifying autistic adults. She says: if you think you are autistic and you have done the 100s of hours of research, then you probably are autistic. I guess her experience is that neuro-typical people just don't do that.
I feel like while this could be true, self-diagnosing yourself as someone not having medical/psychiatric knowledge could also lead to another diagnosis with similar symptoms.
The points made in the video could also be true to someone having ADHD, but you can probably find out if you are neurotypical instead of having autism.
@@simdan2Someone who delves into a subject for months or years is usually not neurotypical. The average neurotypical does not read or watch videos every single day for the past 4 years on the same subject unless it’s their job. I 100% consider myself autistic. It’s taken these last 4 years to confirm to myself that I’m on the spectrum. It’s also been decades of wondering why I don’t have the typical responses or abilities of the average person.
14:30 "Many late-diagnosed autistic people experience this huge shift in identity, and it's intense. If this hasn't happened to you... you might just not know it yet." I appreciate this point being mentioned. I sometimes listen to these 'signs you might not be autistic' videos out of interest in what a list like that would look like. They mostly seem to say similar things, and what's most interesting to me is that, while I now recognize how the vast majority of the autistic traits discussed genuinely apply to me/the non-autistic traits don't, that's only come after discovering that I'm autistic and then spending years of intense dedicated work learning to connect with myself and slowly unravel the 'mask' enough to even really recognize how much I'd been wearing one. For most of my life I was so identified with my mask, so highly dissociated, and so indoctrinated in gaslighting (and all unconsciously so) that I would not have recognized myself well enough to see how traits like those discussed here and in most videos like this do/don't apply to me; so if I'd been at a point where I wasn't sure if I was autistic, information like this would more likely have rather led me to erroneously suspect I wasn't autistic. For me, I had a strong intuitive recognition that I'm autistic long before I cognitively understood what that meant; and I was able to come into understanding what being autistic meant and consciously recognize how completely it made sense for me and my life by slowly listening to lots of autistic people (thank you internet and people like Mike sharing) talk about their lives and experiences, whereas lists of traits and criteria were inaccessible and inappropriate for me and my situation.
I’m definitely autistic with comorbid ADHD, and have the hellishly acquired official late diagnoses to prove it.
I didn’t realize i was autistic in spite of my atypical affect, elaborate routines, overreactions to seemingly trivial details and multilingual hyperlexia. I grew up a twin, and all my intellectualizing of social situations, hiding away after each time i had to leave the confines of my safe spaces, and other idiosyncrasies were just things i had to “deal’ with, or things that made me a horrible person, i should be ashamed of myself, or i should behave, or some other such empty platitude of unrealistic expectations. I very much internalized the ableism i grew up in until i realized it was suffocating me as it started to dawn on me that the face of autism was staring back at me through the mirror. I didn’t know who i was beneath the mask. I didn’t;t know i could flail and rock and twirl and play air piano, the i could pursue my interests with them kind of excellence unreachable in subjects i have little or no interest in, be myself without constantly worrying about what I’m doing and how i move among these strange creatures which look vaguely like me.
Realizing i was autistic and adapting my socialization attempts made it possible for me to construct a social life and a circle of friends. All on my own. People who not only accept my weird, loud, twirly self, but encourage me to unmask and feel free. That’s not something i thought I’d ever have.
I still feel like an utter alien though. My life among humanity is, and will always remain a kafkaesque exercise in misfitting absurdity.
Thanks for this video. My meltdown and i enjoyed the distraction and your very nicely differentiated elaboration.
Aha! I’m the exact opposite. I realized I was autistic, and was lucky enough to be formally assessed in my final year of high school. It was only last year that I suspected I may also have ADHD and underwent the ADHD assessment with the same psychologist who did my autism assessment over a decade ago, and learned that I do, in fact, have ADHD.
I just started meds a month ago, and it helps a lot!
…Still autistic though 😂
@ delightful! I wish my diagnostic process was that straightforward. I had to take myself to a psychiatrist in my transplant country during uni. It took them no time at all to figure out the ADHD, but my comorbidity and symptom complexes are so convoluted, that I went through a dozen doctors and multiple misdiagnoses before they settled on “atypical autism”. My psychiatrist says he wants to do an OCD diagnostic too, but I have been avoiding him since he said that to me. I really don’t have the patience for yet another diagnosis, and the way things are going in Germany and globally atm, another code in my folder is the last thing I need.
Mike, the trick with movement on-stage is to move strategically. Use movement for effect and enhancement of your message, like a performance. Being blind, I had to literally learn all this when I was a Toastmaster: what movements would help in what situations, when to move, when standing still would be more powerful etc. `The goal is congruence between voice, face and body language because this is said to engender trust and credibility in an audience. Eventually, though, I just got sick of feeling like a puppet and decided to move only when my heart, or the moment, or the audience, directed me to do so. Notably, I don't do all this so much in social situations any longer. Having been 'taught' to behave like a lady when young it seems I still didn't manage to succeed in fooling everyone that I wasn't odd because I have zero idea of how I come across to others. 🤭
Awwww, thank you, Kylee. I just move because of movement. I just told people to close their eyes lol.
@@Autistic_AF this! People don't HAVE to look! They could avert their gaze ;)
Just started watching but I have always wanted a video like this
Well, here you go, Otter, Sir!
For me in my forties, I have to go back to before I was a teenager to see a lot of things that caused problems. So much things that triggered me back then, I looked at logically, realized fussing over wouldn't change things, so I just changed my brain. 20 years ago I had my last melt down, because I chose to reset my brain to shutdown instead because I thought blubbering was stupid and unpleasant. I actually felt that change physically happen in my brain. The downside to that change was I lost the emotion of joy and a reduction in emotionally intensity overall.
I really appreciate the distinction you made here between schedules and routines. For a a number of years after my autism dx, I struggled with imposter syndrome because I was told autistics benefit from schedules and routines, but I could NOT stick to any schedule for long.
Eventually I received a co-morbid ADHD dx, which seemed to explain that, but this distinction between a fixed schedule and flexible routines makes a lot of sense too. Thinking about it like this helps me see that there are things I probably always do the same way - e.g. taking a shower or getting ready for bed.
Going on holiday or staying with friends/family could therefore be more difficult because I might not be able to do things the way I would at home, which actually makes a lot of sense, in relation to how exhausting I find being away from home. Perhaps it's not just the sensory and social stuff!
Evidently, I am most definitely not not autistic. 🙂
Are you not not sure? 🤔
@@Autistic_AF It depends. Both? My brain is in knots.
The binder before reaching the point of seeking diagnosis😂 Mine had nine sections with headings like “childhood traits, special interests, stimming behaviors -from instinctive to hidden/socially acceptable, sensory issues, routines, etc” Then, behind those main sections, there were the pages filled with numbered and labeled clarifications to the unsatisfactory multiple choice answer I was required to provide for the pre-assessment online tests
Fluorescent lights are evil. Like so many others, it wasn’t until years later that I “connected the dots”…in retrospect, overwhelm and meltdown often manifested as fibromyalgia flare ups and migraines. I would describe the onset to others as an inability to filter out and tolerate the cacophony that is always around us such as fluorescent lights flickering and buzzing, the sounds of rubber soled shoes peeling up from linoleum, and the like. I didn’t realize that those other people weren’t aware of what I perceive as the constant cacophony that is always there.
Great video, Mike! I am looking forward to you video on the links between mood disorders and gut issues in Autistic folks. Sounds very interesting and relevant to me. 💜
My youtube algorithm is doing well lately because it recommended this video. I've been suspecting some sort of neurodivergence, so this video was topical for me! I relate to some parts: hypersensitivities, masking, and health issues. But many of these overlap with different disorders and experiences. Autism is already complex/complicated to diagnose, but adding in other factors like surviving childhood abuse or trauma and being queer make things like masking or stimming harder to differentiate as an autistic trait or something different.
Take my experiences: I survived a lot of abuse in my child and teen years, and I've had to mask to survive those experiences. I'm also queer and have known that since I was a young teen, so being closeted was a survival mechanism. I tend to dissociate as a stress response (because of the trauma), so self-soothing with movement are a way to stay grounded in reality and my body instead of dissociating. I have hypervigilance from my CPTSD, so issues with my environment tend to be more about the CPTSD sensitivities and a sense of safety that therapy has helped with (another sign that it's likely not autism for me, because I'm assuming that if it were autism, I wouldn't have been able to reduce the severity of my reaction to environmental triggers). The obsessive rumination and mental replay analysis are one of the big ones that trouble me, and it's something I can't attribute as easily to CPTSD or suspected ADHD. The routines one also made a lotttt of sense to me. I love having a routine for most things, despite having difficulties implementing them (which I think is why I get distressed or thrown off when I can't successfully do them).
It feels like such a privilege for someone to feel comfortable being themselves because cultural and systemic issues like homophobia, transphobia, racism, xenophobia, religious bigotry, and misogyny compound into issues with safety and security. Trauma makes life so, so complicated.
Great video. I don't think I've seen the difference between schedules and routines explained like this anywhere--it was really helpful. Also, hmmm. Just realized all my binders are clearly labelled except my autism binder. On the other hand, it's the only bright purple one. 🤔 I may have to borrow "military grade autism" the next time someone thinks it's sad I'm not sitting at a table socializing with ten people!😆
Sorry I had to skip backwards a couple of times in the stimming bit. I missed the bit about self-policing because I was ruminating on how I must have looked when I moved through the art gallery yesterday, with my inward turned t-rex arms and finger sequencing. 😂😂 The art was so interesting that I had a failure in the Self-policing Brain Module, and so today the Rumination and Hyper Self-analysis Module has gone into overdrive.
I am personally glad the lights and clothing textures are not on the diagnostic criteria. While I do have a slight sensitivity to light I can get through it and I have no clothing and food sensitivities. But I do have every other trait, mostly based on social and special interests
I am still going over conversations. I had a few decades ago
Love your video, and your reflections on how a more disabillity friendly society potentionally could help everyone.
I personally become physically disabled while pregnant, and eventually i become housebound in the last weeks perhaps months. If my city was more handicap friendly, I could have been a lot more independent during those times. I even once had to cancel my doctor appointment, where, ironically, I was meant to get a diagnoses for my imobillity, because of said imobillity.
It allways makes a huge difference when people/places choose to acomodate ❤️
A lot of this makes sense however I (respectfully) disagree with the masking part, there are some autistic people who never mask and/or are unable to.
I agree! 🧡
@@little.red.corvette I had another comment here but deleted it because it came off invalidating-sorry about that. What I should have said was: absolutely, there are many reasons why autistic people don’t or can’t mask.
I've masked for decades, but as I get older, and know I'm really good in my profession, I'm able to just be me. Just today, my manager asked me a small talk question and after I replied, he said he knew I would say something weird. But I'm OK with that. I embrace being different.
16:18 Aah, that part is so relatable! I just want to program, why is half my calendar filled with meetings?
I discovered that the reason I didn't enjoy some choir rehearsals was that those places had white lights. I joined the dots after 20 years of choir experience, the white lights were the only thing in common among my worst experiences. I tend to feel cold and sweaty in those scenarios. So weird.
Only in recent years have I begun wondering/suspecting I might be autistic, in spite of a lifetime of things lining up pretty consistently with it. It just needed a proper illumination of the relevant aspects as you help to clearly layout and disambiguate from confusingly similar but non autistic aspects. I especially didn't want the stigma of whatever normies associate with it (their takes seem, more often than not, disgustingly WAY off). I never wanted to be regarded as differently from anyone else, but that hasn't done anything to stop it from happening my whole life regardless, to the point that the stress of trying to fit into a world that seems to cater exclusively to neurotypical minds is outweighing the stress of dealing with the fallout or stigma of openly identifying as autist. This video may have been the tipping point for me in that regard. I never thought of it as being disabling, but if you really look at it in that social context, as well as that of environmental distractions and such, it definitely seems to be. There is also the flipside of seeing it as being "differently abled" (another term which I hate because of what most people would associate it with) - which is that we do tend to be very good at certain things, but at the expense of other things.
❤🔥
I've been in the middle of the crisis phase for a few years. I don't have the means for a diagnosis so I've just been slowly getting more and more information that further confirms the underlying suspicion I've had for a long while now. I'm pretty convinced at this point, but I keep clicking on a video like this one every now and then, just to make sure I guess
Embrace-autism has many tests used by clinicians. If you haven't already, you can take those. It's a great site!
😊❤ excellent post. Helpful, validating, comforting.
These videos are always fun. Let’s see.
💙😺☠️ commenting with my favourite emojis! Thank you Mike for this very insightful video. I find that alcohol helped me socialise tremendously. Once I quit last March, I noticed I had masks that were coming off, and that suddenly I would be exhausted after any social interaction. I think the alcohol was covering up the social exhaustion and I always assumed it was just me being hungover. The weird thing is that I don’t remember being so exhausted when I was a kid or a teenager. I did tend to have a lot of mood swings though, so maybe that was my way of regulating? 🤷🏻♀️
I really enjoyed this chat. Thank you.
Glad you enjoyed it!
I went from an existential crisis but had no idea what autism for years after and I still feel confused why no one mentioned it to me when I was researching psychology
My guess? Nobody knew.
Autism as a concept or even in name is changing over time.
Though research is making progress, for a long time autism was not understood or misunderstood, and in many ways still is today.
For many people the concept of autism is unknown or still based on old insights and literature, and by those metrics autism is easy to miss or misdiagnose.
Even when diagnosed there is often still doubt, as many concepts are not black and white.
Autism can be hard to detect in others.
What lies at the root of autism are things that occur in the mind.
This can not be directly observed from the outside, but it can manifest itself in different ways that can be observed from the outside.
Supermarkets are horrible places for me because of lighting and sound, however dancing in clubs with loud music and lights are my release (although I don't like talking to people 😅). Sensitivities are different for everyone who is autistic.
🐸
I'm very sicial, but mostly really only in text and memes never in person and almost exclusively online.
Thanks for all the great food for thought. I have an ADHD diagnosis already....lots of signs point to autism, as well, but I've been hesitant about getting tested because too many health plans here in the U.S. don't cover it. Now I think I should just go for it.
Ooooh so clever! Thankyou for this, very validating
I'm 49, and going through that identity/existential crisis. No formal diagnoses, yet since therapists want my depression/anxiety under control first.
Which I think my depression and anxiety is actually burnout.
This was actually really helpful, thank you :)
I've been diagnosed last year at 33yo, but still struggle with imposter syndrome sometimes. Videos like these really help, as I happened to answer all the signs on your list with a pretty resounding no.. Guess I really am autistic lol
Imposter Syndrome is the WORST. It kicks our ass regularly - everyone feels it even I do. Thank you for being here! 🧡
To learn of my autism at 51 was at first illuminating but then quickly devastating. I am way behind people of my own age and feel I will never reach my potential as I just thought I was lazy, over sensitive and dumb 😢😢
Nobody is behind people of their age because life is not a race. Im so happy for you can survive all of years. Sorry for my bad english, im from Argentina.
@ that is a kind thing to say, and yes there is much to be grateful for
How I realized I was stimming: my work life used to involve spending long hours in the bucket of a boom lift. I used to rock back and forth (I thought) as a means of counterbalancing the natural swaying that happens up there. I was applying a common musical principle whereby two sine waves moving opposite of each other at the same frequency and amplitude cancel each other out -- which I assumed was sort of common knowledge.
One day I was telling a coworker how to counterbalance like I do, in an effort to stave off fear that a rocking bucket means danger, and I got THAT look, like "okay nerd, I'm just afraid of heights, but you do you." Later on, I realized I did the same motion all day, everyday in certain contexts unrelated to working at heights or even working at all... Then I saw a UA-cam video about swimming and a lightbulb went off.
🐌 Hi!
Thank you so much for your clever words.
I'm a late diganosed ADHD, wondering if there might be some autistic genes tucked away in me somewhere.
So much of what you are talking about resonates. Except I don't feel socially akward, as in not knowing what is going on or what is expected of me. It's just very, very tiring. I always feel the odd one out, even if no one has noticed it, though. Like I'm pretending. To be clever, grown-up, or whatever important rule is at play at that given occasion. I don't know... but your words comfort me a lot, so thank you!
I didn't realise I had daily routines until a housemate pointed it out... now I'm acutely aware of them and how they regulate me. They change over time but they're always there. If I'm going out anywhere I start getting my bag ready well before time, so I don't forget anything important. I always have a list of everything I need to do/take in my hard-copy diary (it's satisfying to tick things off). I don't know if some of this is to mask a lack of ability to 'go with the flow', but I think I have stopped caring 😃if I had to deliberate over what to wear, or what to eat, every day, I'd never get anything done...
I don't have a set routine; but on days off, when there's no structure to a day, I find it difficult to cope & the ADHD side of me simply flits about. I do also have a list of reasons why I'm AuDHD.
me doubting the whole time. watching this video going, yep neurotypical experience is foreign to me.
speaking of... glad you mentioned that culture effects the criteria.
My family didn't notice anything wrong with my blunt communication and lack of eye contact, because we're polish. so sustained eye contact is for love birds or psychopathic tyrants (going to school in australia was WILD. teachers screaming and tantrumming at me to look them in the eye... not only was it uncomfortable and distracting for me, but... it was terrifying too lol), and flaky conversation is seen as ... pathetic or small-minded, or manipulative, so it's better to be blunt and genuine.
When I got my ASD diagnosis a few months ago (horribly long and exhausting process, at least in my country it's covered by health insurance), at the last appointment I forced myself to ask the psychologist who did the assessment my single most important question regarding autism - What if I've just gaslit myself into believing all these things about my experiences? And I'm still struggling to actually accept that yes, after months of tests and questions a professional psychologist diagnosed me with ASD, but the answer she gave me then is one I feel some other people here might need to hear, too -
A neurotypical person wouldn't be anxious about NOT having autism. If someone actually gaslights themselves into thinking they have all these signs, they'd gladly accept a professional diagnosis confirming their beliefs. And if someone feels they need the opportunities that come with having an autism diagnosis despite the attached stigmata, it's for a good reason and not just to follow a 'trend'.
(Honestly I struggle with writing comments so I hope this doesn't come off as a rude generalization. It's obviously just my own way of interpreting her words and I'm open to hearing what other people think about this '^^)
Absolutely loved this comment and your insight, and I think it’s true! Before i was diagnosed i wanted to be autistic so badly.. I’m still not so sure why, i guess i craved the support so badly, i wanted to be able to say “i’m autistic” and have people understand me at least a bit more. And i can confidently say the diagnosis really changed my life for the better. I was able to make friends, irl, for the first time in forever! They are so understanding and accepting, like i never thought would be possible, a lot are neurodivergent as well. I am still learning to accept and love who i am fully, but it has been an amazing journey, and my impostor syndrome is almost gone because there’s just no way a neurotypical person would benefit so much from a “fake” diagnosis. I feel much more free now, knowing that i can stim and be weird, because i will never be neurotypical no matter how much i try. Almost 3 years with a diagnosis and i am already unmasking quite a lot, learning things about myself i had long forgotten..
Thank you for sharing your experiences!💗
Me thinking I didn't deep dive into autism before diagnosis in the way of a mindmap/folder of myself and autism. But then remember I dedicated my whole thesis to autism and social camouflage in women (and the benefit of photography) as a way to understand if it might relate to me (and my need for photography).
Everyone has routines. Neurotypicals also benefit a lot from the ease and stability of following a routine.
Self-diagnosed here, because my GP's system (of not giving appointments but having to phone(!) up in the morning and having to go to a same-day appointment at the whim of their diary which means I can't plan it into my day in advance which gives me extreme anxiety) is designed to prevent me accessing their services. Came here to prove myself wrong, but you just made me more certain that I'm not neurotypical. Thank you. I think?!
Got gaslighted by an autistic group when I accidentally, or rather, by their own social conventions, misbehaved, right after my diag a few years ago, which made me felt invalid even as an autistic person, and became hypervigilent. This video... Re-made me feel validated as an autistic person and see over the blind spots I did put myself after that event. Thank you.
I've got some autistic traits, definitely sensory overload, imagining and seeing 3d models, poor eye contact, limited but very strong interests. I also have reduced affect (not much facial expression).
But I don't think I'm autistic. I definitely have ADHD, and am diagnosed, so that explain why I struggle with eye contact, I often don't understand what people are saying sometimes because of my poor attention.
There are things that don't fit too, I'm intuitive with people, very intuitive. I am a manager and usually see the games people play and am able to it manoeuver them.
Lol I got diagnosed with aspergers when it was a thing, over 10 years ago and I've always been doubtful of my diagnosis. I think a diagnosis can be a double edged sword. It's complicated. But I've always wished I wasn't autistic because that would feel so much easier. I think I am, and probably many others are, afraid of being seen as less human in any way for being just a little different. It can feel scary to be different when you just want to feel accepted and valued as highly as anyone else. In reality we are all different and all have qualities to bring to the table. If we were all the same, there would not have been a need for us to be pack animals.
Very good video.. very good indeed. Back when I was 'down the rabbit hole' with creating children's picture books, I was thinking about schools of fish or herds of ungulates, where no individual needs to think about anything except their alignment with those around them. Perfect alignment required for survival. Contrast that with other fish that are more solitary, or those that travel in pods or herds. Do herring insist that pilot fish must stop hanging out with sharks and get a diagnosis?
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Personally, I can think of environmental factors that could have contributed toward me being ASD-type "weird": growing up without any other children, or TV, until I was nearly school age being one. Waiting that long before being around other toddlers / young children most certainly has the potential to shape your sense of the world differently, just as dropping a 3-month old infant a time or two may have after-effects, including anxiety and a problem with trusting other people.
My reactions are not constant, though, they vary, esp. things like making eye contact. Sometimes no problem, sometimes a real struggle. At one point I was having physical problems and went to a doctor then a specialist for tests.. that ran just 2 points short of a diagnosis of lupus. If I'd been in a different country, I would have been diagnosed with an auto-immune problem. I strongly suspect seeking a diagnosis for autism would meet the same fate, and since I'm in my mid-70's and they don't do anything different when you do have a diagnosis, I'm not enthusiastic about spending my time/money on it..
If they opened an autism-friendly / supportive spa in my area, however, all odor / lighting / sound / texture condusive to quiet recharging with whatever project you have ordered - your go-to recharge menu,.... I think I'd hang out there at least a couple times a week at least!
Flickering fluorescents lights, reactivity to clothes and textures - all of those ARE in the DSM-V. Sensory hyper and hypo stimulation is covered in are B.4: Hyper- or hyporeactivity to sensory input or unusual interest in sensory aspects of the environment (e.g., apparent indifference to pain/temperature, adverse response to specific sounds or textures, excessive smelling or touching of objects, visual fascination with lights or movement).
I never realized i had a routine, but I'm in a much better mood if i do similar things around a similar time each day. I never decided on a routine, and my current routine is not as optimal as i would like it to be, now that i know that i have one. The problem is, when i try to change this routine it does the same as not sticking to it. Then I'm easily irritated, depressed, and tired.
Yeah, the whole idea of socialising ‘to relax’ is a bizarre concept for me. There is nothing about socialising that I find relaxing. Except with maybe one or two people who know me.
I honestly thought, those things were the normal human experience. My Partner told me about a year (year and a half) ago, that he thougth I might have ADHS. I didn't think so and researched traits. A few things I have, but they were too vague, but I found that many things were also autistic traits. And that Ifound in myself more traits that could be autistic. After reflecting for months I am now thinking that my sister and I might be autistic. With my sister needing more assistance and myself being burned out after being high functioning for too long and an depressive episode. Now I'm looking into it and trying to find an institution with people who specialise in diagnosing adults. In online forums it is said that I might have to wait 6 years for an appointment.
Newly diagnosed at 52... just wished to say the existential/identity crisis after diagnosis on some days feels a wee bit like being hit square in the face with a 2 by 4 of wood... or may it is just me!
I was just taking an AQ test online and they of course asked for my credit card to see my results. So where does one go? UA-cam and here was the first video I see!
Welcome, Vishal! Try the RAADS-R test first. That, and the AQ tests are available for free from embrace-autism.com too!
@@Autistic_AF. I just took the RAADS-R and got a 202. Thanks for pointing my way to it!
Thank you for your video.
my imposter syndrome was telling me not to click on this video... glad I did!
Damn. I just turned 40 and I have a google shert document with 2 categories. One is about traits that I identify with that may be autistic (or may be cPTSD or something. The other is about autistic traits that may not fit me. So far the former category has many more entries.
I waffle back and forth depending on the day, whether or not I think I would meet the criteria. And some things I used to struggle with more but do a little better with now.
Sometimes I feel crazy for thinking I might be and I am also terrified to bring it up to my GP or someone in general. I dont think I would be taken seriously, and it is expensive and time consuming. I am also terrified of being told I am not..then I get to go back to thinking I am crazy and just terrible at dealing with life.
"You don't tend to find blokes in Britain sitting around the pub telling each other about how they might or might not be autistic."
I love this phrasing, and also that this had not occurred to me. In retrospect it seems totally obvious, but an excellent point!
How can I choose a favourite emoji? I don't want the others to feel left out! 💜💚🎵🐦🐦⬛🦉🐥🐔🦅🦢🦚🦜🪿🐧🕊🦆🦕🦎🐢🐋🪼🪲🐝🕷🪸🪺🌿🪷🪻🐍🐸🦘🐨
It is interesting how it works with government help here in the UK. I've not yet had my assessment (Summer 2026 is when I'm meant to have mine), but the government accepted that I'm autistic and require a lot of support based on how it affects me (even if my family and an employment union had to fight for it). I still often feel like an imposter, though, despite: peer reviews; a folder full of test results, self-reflections, experiences, and parental observations that all heavily indicate me being autistic; and my GP saying that if he was allowed to diagnose me he'd have done so when he first met me and that I should start preparing so it doesn't come as a shock when I get my official diagnosis.
I could work in retail just fine, but that was after the lights were fixed. They just gave me my own department in the corner of a store or in the storage department.
I was very tired at the end of the day obviously. But it was doable.
For me the most annoying in a store is the radio that is always on.
The alone time. I never really noticed i needed alone time until i was older. I needed to be out of the nest to discover this. I struggled with thinking im bad for needing this alone time.
Do you have any videos on getting help from government bureaucrats...I mean doctors. I realize that every country has its own healthcare system, what I mean is how do you get through to someone with little to no training?
@@freecat1278 arguing with an idiot is like Playing chess with a pidgeon. Even if you win, they will still shit all over the board and strut around like they won anyway😂
Tldr; don't waste your energy on people who will never get it and are also not interested in getting it.
@@haplo_84 Yes, but the doctors at the veterans hospital are the gatekeepers of treatment. I tried to go to a community center to get treatment for PTSD, but they wanted $500 per hour for a social worker, not even a doctor. The sliding scale went in the other direction. One doctor asked, "Why do you want to be tested for autism? You already get a government check, just go to the beach & have fun."
Watching to get out of q meltdown (autism is a special interest)
Tnx for posting a nicely rounded informative vid
Thanks, Lina!
Morbidity and comorbid do not refer to death. Mortality refers to death. The definition of comorbid: “denoting or relating to diseases or medical conditions that are simultaneously present in a patient.” But it still sounds “morbid.”
Those words do sound "morbid".
The synonym "co-occurence" is less confusing (for those who don't know these terms or still got confused by it) but only covers the "existing together" aspect.
@ absolutely agree. Just wanted to clarify the meaning of the term.
I'm saving up for a comprehensive assessment. I'm here trying to figure out if it's a waste of the system's time. 🤷🏻♂️😅
Vanessa van edwards explains she teaches people to use the full stage but to use your position as something to help explain. You stand on one side for one topic or one example and then walk somewhere else for the other point. She has a yt channel and 2 books that I am devouring atm. She calls herself a recovering awkward
Some of my friends open a conversation with me with "greeting ritual!" That actually works! You aren't tempted to tell people how you actually are and you can get on with the conversation
Interests/hobbies... does it count as "obsessive" if a person develops an interest in houseplants and then proceeds to fill their house with over 250 plants?
I love these types of videos! Having the criteria flipped and giving specific examples (not just general statements) is so helpful! (My favourite emoji is 😔 or 🪿)
Enjoyed your video Mike!
Thank you, Jenny! I hope you are doing good! 🧡
I didn’t have an existential crisis because my mother mentioned the summer I was 21 that I might be “Aspie”; my younger cousin had just been so diagnosed. I saw no point in pursuing the diagnosis, and as a matter of fact, I had already self-identified ADHD-PI five years earlier and was diagnosed the next year, and could not have been given both diagnoses at once at that time, though I didn’t know that. So, I spent 20 years thinking I was “probably a bit Aspie, or autistic, or whatever” but never thinking it was worth pursuing diagnosis until I finally realized I am actually quite a LOT autistic! It wasn’t exactly a new thought, though. Also, I was so strictly forbidden from showing ANY emotion from such a young age that I don’t have meltdowns, or even shutdowns per se, but rather a “safe mode” where most of my brain dissociates, but just the parts needed to survive and escape the situation stay intact. It’s a form of self-defense, and it seems an odd one, where basically part of myself broke off to caretake the rest, as I could never expect anything better than emotional neglect from anyone else. 😔
I used to have a *safe mode* during a traumatic part of my life. They had their own way of perception and presentation, since they were designed to keep me safe. They were also more likely to catch physical details and recall physical events accurately. However, they were nearly blind to emotions in all regards.
Now i live in a safer place. And I don't want to dissociate, because it hurts my current partner. Also, I also don't want to cut off a part of me.
The current arrangement is that we are both awake at all times, but frequently the ratio between our control changes to match the situation we are currently in. It's to the point where I type and speak very differently because of this, which is interesting!
Kids always wanted to be friends with me whe I was a child. And now as an adult adults want to be friends with me. I don't want to be friends with most of them.. I rather be with myself and I don't have time to socialise. To me there is far to little time in a day. Making friends is very easy, but what if you don't want friends? Sometimes it was hard to say that I don't want to be friends, I just said ok and than never make time to hang out or what ever.. In highschool I got along with almost every group of people. The so called "nerds" and also with the "cool people". I just switched between them, 1 lunch break I would hang out with that group and the other break (same day) I would hang out with the other group. I always was kinda popular (no clue why) but I never felt that I fitted. But I never wanted to fit anything, I always had my own style and I didn't care that my style was different from others.
The routine thing and schedules thing isn't me, I hate routine and schedules, even thinking about it makes me feel overwhelmed. Because it makes me over-think everything. And without routine and schedules I don't have to (over)think about it. For example if I have an appointment tommow it's bye bye to my sleep, cause there is NO WAY I can sleep because I would think about it the whole time and I can't think about anything else and I can't let it go. I also never been able to set an alarm, because this also makes me not sleep at all.
As a kid I always had to leave the living room after a while and I would sit in my room or what ever I did. I remember my parents thought that was "odd" (not in a bad way). They knew I had to retreat for a while. I remember that I collected cookies. I had my own box and when me and my brother (and later a little brother) had a cookie I would never eat it immediately, but I would store it in my own cookie jar. Now thinking about it I find it a bit weird. I have no idea why I always did that. But what I do know is that I could eat a lot of cookies if I wanted to eat some cookies! (because I collected them :P) LoL
Spell slots!!! I'm stealing that!
I was once diagnosed with mild Asperger's, during the very early 2010s. This was before it was lumped together with other autism as part of the same spectrum. And even though I'm part of this spectrum, it appears in me differently and I don't have all the same difficulties.
Being a little bit autistic is like being a little bit pregnant isn't it?
Oh, dear 😂 i watched this to get OUT of wondering, whether or not I could be autistic. Now I actually think I might be. Oh, well. Thank you so much for this video❤
not all autistics experience meltdowns or feel extremely challenged in their daily lives, yet are still autistic and probably very high on the spectrum.
i've also never had a full blown meltdown but i've experienced speech inhibition and/or getting super complainy and snarky when i'm overwhelmed.
so me b***ching continuously means i'm overwhelmed and overstimulated.
this kind of perspective here, of trying to figure out if you're autistic, is more helpful than watching videos like " if you do x you're prolly autistic", cause the impostor syndrome kicks in and naturally trying to find excuses why you do all those things.
Busy loud crouds don't bother me. Sometimes I hear that you cant be autistic and feel that way but for me predictable loudness is stimulating and similar to quiet whereas when I hear my downstairs neighbors robot vacuum echo through the wood floor it makes my bones hurt and I feel a sensation that I can only describe as fear combined with anger and physical pain. I dont mind flashing lights at a night club or moshing in the pit but an overhead light in a building feels like it's trying to crush me. 😅
thanks for the videos, very helpful
🪐As a kid I was into planets and my favorite was Saturn. Sadly I did not find anyone to share my interest with back then being a girl in rural Gernany in the 70s …
Did I get it wrong? Because he said to use our favorite emoji in the comments, I chose one and then felt the need to give some context … 😄
My ADHD does make it hard to choose, i tend to jump between topics. But then i get my Hyperfocus. At the same time my group of interests are probably not that far apart. I am deeply into AI and Robotics, quite curious about neuroscience and some other topics. Huge fan of musical instruments and drawing. The autistic side of me is more the sensory input overload and the social game.
I know I have it…but it’s not really bad…I don’t fit in but no longer care. I’m always singing loudly or tapping or making weird gestures with my hands without even thinking about it…I eventually realised, people that would feel uncomfortable about that are usually terrified of being themselves or being “different”…that’s a very weak and shallow way to look at another human who isn’t pretending hard enough
Half way through and it seems I am not just adhd, but also very probably autistic.
i always noticed the old tube lighting, i usually could tell when the ballast was dying and i could often see the patterns in the older tubes, found them interesting. Sounds is kind of odd, i can hear sections of dog whistles and i have noticed a shift in the focus of my hearing after an alarm or my phone ringing. I never cared to hide my nature or about fitting in, was too busy fighting off the kids who would not leave me be if they could not be nice.
Spartan warriors would stim before battle.