How to Outsmart Demand Avoidance
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- Опубліковано 10 лют 2025
- Demand Avoidance is a real and challenging experience for many neurodivergent individuals. In this video you'll learn more about WHY demand avoidance happens as well as a simple shift that will help you outsmart it!
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DISCLAIMER: Taylor Heaton is not a licensed psychologist or specialist healthcare professional. Her services do not replace the care of psychologists or other healthcare professionals. Please note that Taylor can’t take any responsibility for the results of your actions, nor any harm or damage you suffer as a result of the use, or non-use of the information available through her website, UA-cam Channel, or social media accounts. Please use judgment and conduct due diligence before taking any action or implementing any plan or practice suggested or recommended by Taylor Heaton or Mom on the Spectrum. Please note that Taylor doesn't make any guarantees about the results of the information you may apply from her website, UA-cam channel, and/or social media accounts. Taylor shares educational and informational resources that are intended to help you succeed in navigating life as an autistic adult. You nevertheless need to know that your outcome will be the result of your own efforts, your particular situation, and innumerable other circumstances beyond Taylor's knowledge and control. Taylor is an Amazon affiliate and may receive commissions on qualifying purchases from affiliate links. Taylor is a Flare affiliate and may receive commissions on qualifying purchases from Flare links.
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I have a little trick I use sometimes. When I really do not want to do something, the anxiety of that demand gets in the way. I then write it in my agenda as something I have to do tomorrow. A few minutes later I start to do it, but without the pressure that it has to be done today. It's silly, but many times it actually works to reduce anxiety. And I love to work ahead of my schedule, because it makes me feel in control. I don't know if this makes any sense ...
No, it totally makes sense to me and I apreciate You shared it😊
Whatever works! Thanks for sharing this tip.
Completely get this, I use the same at work to deal with everything that causes me anxiety. Write it down to revisit later, really helps get past the initial brainfart and move on, thanks for sharing!
I do the same thing!
I think this is similar to a trick I sometimes use, where I prep for something else, then do the thing. For example, if I need to sit down and do a bit of work I'll put on workout clothes. Then I'm not "stuck" doing the sit-down task, I'm just getting it out of the way before I do what I'd rather be doing. The bonus is that I might not have even wanted to work out, but that will be easier after because I'm already prepped for it.
I feel some of this is also related to delayed processing struggles. When one feels they have to do something right away, they often feel overwhelmed, but if they give themselves time to process the task, it can be less overwhelming.
I try to frame these thoughts around something nice I could have if I do the thing, rather than focus on the thing itself that must be done. So "I could have a fragrant, trash-free kitchen", "I could enjoy some nice clean clothes", "I could have the IRS not beating down my door", etc
Yep, that's what helps me most for decades using it.
But never thought about I am doing it. Hah!
I learned it as a method of helping people to quit smoking for example or loose weight, to focus on the wins and imaginate them instead of griefing about "loosing" something, to have to give up.
Like "Oh, I love to imagine I will walk up the stairs easily!" (instead of coughing having trouble breathing). Thanks for pointing out, so I can try to use it more in other situations😊
@@katzenbekloppt_mf Haha nice, my pleasure! I've even found that for routine tasks it's become my default thought pattern, hope it helps you too. Interesting that you mention quitting smoking as it's something I actually have PDA to thank for... probably. Back when I didn't know I was autistic, I used to tell people I quit smoking out of sheer laziness, but now I know it's more like I was avoiding leaving the house to buy cigs 😂
Yes, the reframing can be so helpful!
@@MomontheSpectrum Yeah even just removing the word of 'the thing' from the thought is weirdly helpful. So "Ugh I have to shower" becomes "I could be clean and smell nice" and I'm not thinking so much about the dreaded 's-word'
@_xone Haha, nice! Well, I learned it as a method in an additional job training for social work as a thing to make it easier for clients to quit something that harms them (and instantly knew it would help me too if fasting for example).
I must say I quit smoking myself being unplanned pregnant for the first time and after I started again after breastfeeding for 1,5 y the next time as I moved to a flat without balcony (and now am most of my life a rigid non-smoker nearly 49yo).
So my motivation was more external to be a better mum to my kid. It often works good if I want to be reliable anyways, which is not a demand somehow then.
Don't really get why by now.
I like the idea of increasing autonomy to help ease demand avoidance. I’ll try to use that. I do the “I don’t really have to do this.” thing already and can confirm that it usually helps.
The pressure/urgency does just have to be right for me.
Depending on what it is something between “it’s something that should be done eventually” and “omg, if this is not done RIGHT NOW, nightmare is gonna follow!”
I don’t know why a seemingly so small and simple, but THIS IMPACTFUL trick didn’t cross my mind earlier.
I like the term Persistent Drive for Autonomy better. Not a correction for how you've phrased it since you did talk about the autonomy piece, but I feel this is more to the heart of it. And it helps get away from the initial way it was applied by non-Autistic people of Pathological Demand Avoidance.
yes, this is a great term!
Thank you for this. I have been plagued by this all my life without knowing why.
Getting out of bed. This transition is a killer for me!
I find having an outfit ready and visible from bed helps.
i spend about an hour or two each day just getting out of bed smh
@shieldgenerator7 This is how it is for me many mornings, too. I'm shaking my head right there with you.
@@emilyb5557 Ah, having the visual in place and knowing what your "next move" will be. I like it!... I've been thinking about what Taylor said about choices. I have the choice to wake up earlier and have more time to get more of my sensory needs met, which means I will be more regulated when I start work at 7:30am. Delayed gratification. This is the choice I prefer... I will also keep in mind what you said about having something visible and ready, Emily.
For me, it helps to get up earlier than needed! 🤣 Because I don't need to get up at 6, I will. I could get up at 6:15 in theory, but it would be more difficult. I enjoy some time to myself in the morning, when everyone is still asleep.
It's an inertia thing for me. Also, if someone is demanding something of me (let's say a parent or someone else that knows or notices my patterns, it feels like they are trying to disrupt me on purpose. Like a petty powertrip).
Yes! This! Especially if someone tries to wake me up in the morning!
I hate telephones, phone calls, trying to make appointments or vet visits for a dog.
@Jen-CelticWarrior I really have to psyche myself up before a phone call. If a doctors office says they have something open the next day, no way, I need a week!
Ohhhhh yeah
Taking the trash out was the chore assigned to me (without my input) as a kid. I actually hid in my closet when I would hear stepdad driving up the road from work knowing I would get in trouble for not doing it...instead of just doing it. That's how strong PDA can be
I struggle with demand avoidance, but oddly enough when I’m working it’s not really an issue. My brain frames it as “this is what I have to do to make money” and I can do it. But outside of work I can be downright cranky if someone makes a demand of me and will almost always tell them to either reword it or not do it
The most frustrating thing is that there is such a fine line between “this routine/structure makes me feel really secure and motivated and like I have all the information I need” and “this is forcing me to do something and I hate it I want to choose for myself”
i have really strong inertia before going to sleep, so my partner says “can you go to sleep?” instead of imposing “you should go to sleep”
saying “can” makes it a choice rather than a demand :3
So true! I always thought I was just rebellious when I was talked to like that.
One of the things that has helped me overcome SOME of my demand avoidance (especially around creative pursuits, strangely enough) is telling myself, "I don't have to have an opinion about this."
So, when there's something to do, whether I need to or even want to (but feel resistance toward it), I try to remember to let go of whatever my opinion is and just do it. This is especially helpful for smaller tasks that don't "need" to be done, but would sure make my life better if I got it done now instead of later.
It's not that I push away any negative opinions, or deny they're there. It's more that I imagine simply letting them go. Like opening my hand to drop a heavy rock. It's just not helpful, so why hold onto it right now?
Besides, I'd rather conserve my energy to avoid bigger demands later 😛
This is great! Thanks for sharing!
Thanks that’s really interesting ! I bypass the thought process too by (not a good long term solution 😅) listening to podcasts or movie or books in audio with my headphones while doing tasks, even at work if I’m on my own. If I don’t have an opinion on the demand because I’m focused on what’s in my ears, the timing is key so I can zombie throught the demand to get it done (e-mails, in person request, question from a colleague, phone call, etc.)
@ For sure! There are so many ways to “set aside” our opinions to just do the thing, whatever “the thing” is. And I find the more I do it, the more I sort of teach myself that my opinions aren’t needed to get stuff done, the easier it gets.
This way, I can also save my opinion-energy for more meaningful tasks, or activities, or situations where my opinion might be more useful to me :-)
For me this was the best advice. "You don't have to ____ , but if you don't ___ ..." Thank you Taylor🥰
Please please don't take this as a slight or a jab or anything like that! But there was a tiny part of this video that I thought was hilarious when I watched it. We are talking about demand avoidance and then almost immediately in like the next sentence you mentioned having classes on-demand for it and I about spit my drink out! Thank goodness your classes don't have demand avoidance! 🤣
I love it so much! Thank you for the almost certain unintended laugh, and thank you for all you do with your videos and classes and everything else you do to help all of us! It is super helpful and I really appreciate you for doing it because I know how hard it is to put yourself out there and do all these things to help. I am grateful! But I also wanted to thank you for that because it was a really good laugh and made my day so much better on my so far rough on call week at work. It was really needed! I feel so much better. I hope you do too!
Ok. So, i see the point in the unmasked/unedited videos, but i do have more resistance to watching them than if they were edited and bite sized like this. Please consider the balance between that, i'd love and benefit from more videos like this! Thank you so much!
Also, i think i experience demand avoidance in terms of "trouble finding my intrinsic motivation". Its not that i don't try, in fact i try i'd say more than the average person, i try and care a lot! It's just hard to work my brain through these things and, sometimes they can be small things like "do i really have to keep up my physical therapy exercises/skincare lifelong" or big deep blockages like hating school or not seeing the point in traditional "work". Just a little insight into my brain, i hope someone else can relate to this!
thanks for your comment and the video feedback!
I can relate 😢
Can absolutely relate, this is how I see it too. I need good reasons to do things that come from within me, and I only run on this intrinsic motivation. When there are only reasons coming from the outside world, that doesn't do it for me, because I sense that it's not me who has decided to do the thing - it has been decided for me. I have a strong need to be the director of my life, and if I am not, I become lifeless and directionless, and that is not a life I am able to live.
I don't press like on videos when people ask for it, but what you just did; _that_ is a good way of phrasing it in order for me to press the like button. heck, it even made me leave a comment about it, further boosting the video!
😇 I love this response!! Thanks so much for your comment. And for the like!! :)
This comment on this topic feels more like comedy!
You CAN press the like button if you want to, but you don’t have to do it!
Just remember that if you don’t do it, you won’t get recommended more videos like this.
@simdan2 not true, likes has nothing to do with recommendations. it's all about what you actually spend your time watching.
@@Fellefan Don’t know how the algorithm works or if it used to work this way.
My last sentence wasn’t meant to be taken literally, more for the effect of being funny.
A video of demand avoidance, a “demand” for clicking the like button and THEN your comment of following this “demand”, while also stating you normally don’t follow these “demands”?
That was just the type of humor I like the most.
Serendipitous...I was just (literally in the midst of) negotiating my demand avoidance after an unnecessarily long and frustrating conversation with someone who wants to change my routine as a volunteer but has no understanding of where I'm coming from. Not their fault really, I guess. Thank you for your vids, they really help. And your approach/personality makes me smile. Like a breath of fresh air. Thanks again.
You're very welcome. Thanks so much for your comment.
I really appreciate how you ended the video with a gentle suggestion instead of a direct request
I simply ignore my demand avoidance when I’m in professional settings. I think this is what makes me higher functioning.
I did this, too…but there’s a price eventually. It’s masking on a high scale, I think, but not everyone can do that so well. I’d crash on evenings or weekends from burnout.
@ it is exhausting for sure.
Same. I didn't know I was autistic, or what demand avoidance was. But at work I felt more anxiety surrounding the fear of failure or being perceived in a negative light, plus "people pleasing" tendencies. So I was an exemplary employee everywhere I worked, and a top performer within months. Demand avoidance would sometimes show up with not arriving to work on time (but within the 5 minute "deadline" that would result in repercussions lol) and also I would clock out for lunch, but continue working while eating at my desk (which I was told multiple times not to do, but I was never really reprimanded for it, so 🤷♀️)
The consequences were hard, though. At home I was always cranky, stressed, and exhausted. And my home life is where I think I may actually have the "pathological" demand avoidance (rather than neurodivergent demand avoidance). I would either blow up or shut down if people close to me put a "demand" on me. Do NOT tell me what to do!!!! Ahhh!!!
And my professional roles only lasted about 3 years on average, until it was too much for me. I was the top performer and the "yes" person who would do anything and everything asked. Eventually my superiors would convince me to apply for management or team lead roles, and then I'd go downhill fast. I am NOT cut out for leadership at all. I'm good at being responsible for myself, but I'm horrible at motivating others. I can show anyone my techniques on how I do my job so well, but I can't make them listen or care.... so shortly after getting into those leadership roles I would run 🙈 because it was way too much for me at that point (demand avoidance ?) The pressure was so intense I felt like I had no option other than to find a different job haha
Now I'm a stay at home mom... which is far harder than I imagined, and a job I can't run away from (well, I guess I could go back to work, but when my husband suggests I should just get a job, I put up my walls and get pretty defensive 😅 PDA ?) So I'm working on finding myself and growing as a person. Learning about autism and PDA has been so insightful for me 🥰❤
*Edited for spelling mistakes
I also have an easier time ignoring demand avoidance at work- but for me I think it's more the strong moral code many of us have- for me, having been hired to do a certain job, I'm a hard worker (when I know what is expected of me). I think different autistic tendencies show up differently depending on the situation. But I do struggle at work when something seems dumb or like a bad idea.
I HATE going to new restaurants without looking at the menu beforehand because there are TOO MANY OPTIONS & it overwhelms me, especially when I’m under a time crunch between sitting down & the server taking our order
This is why I don't do drive-throughs. Who needs that kind of pressure?
if a family member or close friend asks me to do something, my immediate response has always been "no", and then doing the thing after. it started out as a bit of a joke years ago?? but i realized recently it actually helps me a lot with demand avoidance!! it gives me a sense of control back, and it turns into me doing them a favor rather than a demand hahaha
haha i love our quirky brains. thanks for sharing this
demands from organisations who have in fact messed up are a huge one for me
I feel like I've been fighting myself for decades.
I can testify from a lifetime of experience that Demand Avoidance is no excuse to get out of work. For a lifetime I've forced myself through the ordeal of being "good" and doing what's evidently "my share," and over and above the call of duty, very conscientiously, seeking no praise (TERRIFIED of it, in fact), all the while in visceral agony with this gut-wrenching recoil, a recoil of non-comprehension, of "matrixlessness," at what the demand means and portends and what I'm supposed to "be" within that "demand space."
I believe my life is a story of autistic inertia and unfulfilled potential. At 53 recognising ASD's effect in my life is creating so much grief along side the pennies dropping all over the place with regards to why I did what I did. Long wait for diagnosis in the UK if you're skint like me. Thanks Taylor x Came at the perfect time while I'm currently learning boundaries with other's demands and balancing the PDA with people pleasing and getting very burnt out and fractious with their demands, my mind is no longer my own it's filled with them.
I'm looking forward to this! 🙂
I'm married to a recently-diagnosed ND 67 year old man. Demand Avoidance (or Persistent Drive for Autonomy) has been a very real and very BIG challenge in our 30-year marriage. Even when he has (from my NT perspective) complete control over his time & choices, this is a hill it is often nearly impossible for him to navigate. There are many times, pre-diagnosis, where I was 100% sure we were headed for divorce bc so much was on me. Things are better, in large part bc he has almost zero expectations on him day to day: he's retired, kids are grown, etc. But it remains one of our biggest hurdles.
5:45 and that is why I Liked the video at the start, on my own decision, expecting it will be a great video... And it is 👍
Thank you!
I'm AuDHD and have some complex medical conditions that require a lot of daily maintenance aka demands (i.e. medications, injections, blood monitoring, appointments etc). Even with the fact that it's a life-or-death condition, the demand avoidance I experience can be overwhelming to the point of being dangerous. It's worse when I am overburdened with other things, so it's easy to get stuck in a spiral of hard. It's not something that I can have any or much autonomy over, so it's a constant battle with myself. Thanks Taylor, you're awesome! I'm going to check out your strategies as I need to make this easier for myself.
Thank you for this video! Anni and I just watched it together (she is in Finland and I am in the US)...and we are currently talking about out command avoidance. I know that little rewards help me a lot! Thank you...keep up the good work!
Anni wanted me to add that she thinks you are an Amazing Role Model for neurodivergent people everywhere!
aww thank you both so much! so glad you're part of the community here.
Thank you - great video! I learned the reframing technique a while ago- dont remember where. Its so helpful to just tell myself I dont "have" to do anything - but knowing I'll sure be more comfortable if I do! I also find it helpful to think of doing things that my future self will thank me for.
You're welcome! Thanks for your comment.
I'm very late in trying to confirm a childhood diagnosis and the menu thing, oh wow. I've struggled with that my whole life. If the situation is very relaxed, it doesn't bother me even if the restaurant is new to me. But if I'm feeling pressured, like if the server keeps coming back, or if my dining companion(s) insist I go first, the words stop making sense. Thank dawg so many restaurants put theirs online now.
Haha, I also always wondered why I like to order the same thing every time, but now I guess I know!
Does anyone elses demand avoidance work in reverse too? Eg if someone says something can't be done, you can't stop trying to do it.
YES! Omgsh this is another great topic. Thanks for bringing it up. This is definitely me. "You can't do that." "Oh yeah, WATCH ME!" Proceeds to hyperfocus until I've not only done it but done it well.
I had demand avoidance with my car registration...not knowing that if you don't pay, they come take your car away while you're sleeping. Good times
I have a reminder sentence. My wife, who is a therapeutic counsellor, and who sent link to your video, is not thrilled with it. I have things that need to be done (mowing the lawn, etc). I say to myself these are the things all adults have to do. It doesn't matter if you want to or not adults do them. You are an adult and that means you can do it too. Not the best motto but it works on a regularly irregular number of jobs most times usually. Sort of.😊
Again, another brilliant video, thank you!
Thank you!
1:16 if they're just trying to force me to do something just because they don't like that I'm doing the thing I'm enjoying, or just want to push me around...
Does anyone else also have difficulty reading analog watches where there are no numbers and you have to figure out time from the position of the hands? Does that irritate you?
Since 5 years old I had on wall analog watch with only 12,3,6,9 digit numbers (making it even more difficult to discern), when collegues visited they often had problems reading it so I had to read it for them, this caused me to be conditioned and well trained in reading analog without any problems in future.
nope: it is like a little imitation of a sundial, that can be used as a compass as long as the sun is out. I love things that have a connection with their origin, in this case the origin of how we measure time. A digital watch never reminds me of this, it has degenerated into just a bunch of numbers.
Funny, for me it's the other way round. I can't "grab" the time as when I see it on a classic watch.
Maybe it's how You grew up/are used to?
Born 76 in Germany. My mother had a digital radio alarm clock and there was a digital watch on the microwave I think, but all other watches had been analog. Also we use a 24h-system instead of "a.m." and "p.m." if we write down a time (spoken it would be 5 o'clock afternoon or 7 ...morning/evening/nighttime etc.)
My first own watch was a mecanical I had to energize by hand every day.
Same with my Mickey-Mouse alarm clock I loved a lot.
It might be a pattern recognition thing?
Taking showers. Checking my email. Doing laundry more complicated than in the sink - I could do that last year by the way and I don't know what happened. It's hard not to expound on how I hate my life right now, so I think I will hit comment.
❤❤❤
This is such a great video!
It sounds really stupid but I often use the immortal words of Nike to myself: Just do it! And I do😂do it, usually. Although autistic I am blessed/cursed with lots of willpower and determination
I just stress because of all the masking involved. I have to manually figure out what’s required, and the stress to my body so often of doing things (I also have an autoimmune condition), and I’ll often get it wrong. That compounding weight makes things an enormous task. But give me a math problem? Yay!
🤣 I think I got some lee* way on dealing with my PDA, but these are awesome tips. I do feel a rejection to do the YT algorithm things, but I've had liked channels go down for lack of engagement, so I choose to click the clicks, hehehe.
*Too PDA to look up the correct spelling, haha.
I don't know how or why, but I think my aversion to all things science experiments is a result of demand avoidance. I've never been able to explain why science is the one thing I can't teach very well in our home school because the very thought of having to gather supplies even and then letting someone else (or a video) walk my kids through the procedure is already too much. It doesn't make any sense, but it's an extreme version of what I feel when following a recipe. I struggle a lot in the kitchen, and my sensory issues also means it's pretty pointless for me to taste the food I'm making to gauge if it'll be good bc it always tastes fine to me. I never think anything needs "a little more salt". So I've resigned myself to what I make being mediocre no matter what and brace myself for potential criticism. Back to the experiments, the few I've pushed through and done have almost never turned out as they were supposed to, so I think that triggers the "why bother" attitude in me for all future experiments. I don't have the patience or curiosity to analyze "what went wrong" and "what can I do differently next time". Nope, it's a total mental block. I can't explain it but demand avoidance sounds like it may fit the bill. So thanks for that!
My demand avoidance is crippling. My goal is high and I can’t be interrupted so I don’t start or wait until 2 am when I can’t possibly be interrupted. I’m so tired of what this is costing me.
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Love love love
spot on - except for the road signs ;-)
I find that if something is the law, then it MUST be followed. If I'm in the car with someone and they're not obeying traffic laws, I get very agitated. My autistic son also sticks very strictly to the rules of our house and makes sure that the other kids also follow those rules (and the rules at school).
But, if you tell us to do something, then we both get our backs up and put things off until they are necessary to get done ASAP. It feels physically difficult to do when someone orders you to do it and feels different than following an established rule. We have had a checklist for the kids for a few years now and they get a reward after school if everything is complete (the reward is a Pokemon card that they randomly select from a big box set that we buy, so it has the surprise of not knowing what you will get, making it more enticing).
My son is a teenager now and I want to teach him how to use these skills on himself so that it's him that is in charge of getting his own things done. I "trick" myself with small rewards for sticking to my tasks. Like, I get to watch a tv show or read a book when I complete a chore... even though I would probably be reading or watching tv all day anyway, somehow reframing it as a reward helps me to limit it. I know it doesn't make sense, but I don't question it. If it works, it works. Unfortunately I'm not the most consistent with it. I can usually keep it going for a while and then I get sick, or it's a holiday, and my routine gets thrown off and it takes a month or more to get back on track.
"Demand avoidance" is a terrible term!
For someone with PDA, "demand" includes way more than just commands or rules-it’s anything from hopes and dreams to simple invitations, reminders, expectations, and requests. And "avoidance" isn’t our only response; it's just one way to handle the overwhelming panic and anxiety these "demands" trigger. It’s not just mental distress either-my body reacts too. My heart rate shoots past 190 bpm, I get flu-like symptoms, headaches, even fever.
And about these strategies for managing demand avoidance? They have limits. Think of them like a squirt gun-you might put out a candle with enough effort, but you're not stopping a wildfire or a volcano. That’s how effective these tips are for us with PDA. If you're autistic with a little candle-dash of demand avoidance, they might help you a lot. But for us with full-blown PDA, we just have to learn to walk on lava while carrying really big squirt guns.
That said, these are still the best ways to support us. I'll gladly take any squirt gun there is to make the lava burns easier to cope with. It really helps! So please: give us as much autonomy as possible! Even if it's just temporarily squirting our blistered feet for a few seconds, it's still a few seconds of slightly more tolerable pains.
I always ask why I’m 55 with. Autism and don’t care anymore about what I say to someone so I ask why them I say can it wait I’m
In the middle of something right now
I’ve never encountered an employer who gave you options of what to do, and I work from home in a self-driven position. I can choose the order of work, but there always requirements. Authority is authority is authority. It sucks
What if its both a question and and a statement? I need someones help? Or tell them to bring the game into the kitchen and when they can pause it, put it away and ask for instructions.?
Smart, establish the habit of starting to follow and remember and add on to the habit of modifiable routine, early Maybe add one extra task and keep switching the timing on it, if it's possible to normalize changes? Maybe helpful? Just a thought :)
sigh. thank you again
You're welcome again. 😁
Taking a shower..
Opening my mail. Anyone else have a real problem with this? (This "Get-to" tip doesn't fool my brain.)
Okay Love, did you make these months ago & you are curled up in the fetal position with the rest of us right now? It’s like I haven’t seen anyone looking as well rested & pretty in a couple weeks as you do in this video. 😂, I think I have a permanent facial twitch & may be bald soon 😂.
Uh… don’t find out about maggots the hard way. Don’t ask me how I know 😭😭
I must avoid your demand to not ask, so uh, how do you know? 😅 I think I can guess though, eww?
Normally I love your videos but the “if you want to find out more click this link to my class!” made this one seem empty. Not trying to be rude. I know this is the model for Heathcare Influencers: video with lots of chat, maybe a collab but no real content & then a link to a class, retreat or their book where they promise you’ll learn more than the empty video. Is this the future of MOTS? I’m kinda bummed.
💖 I don't have PDA & tbh I've become irrationally annoyed by discussion of it lol... no idea why... I have like pathological PDA avoidance. 🥸 Thank you for making this tho.