Pandas! Pandas everywhere! The punch, they drive, they defend you from Sith Lords! Or at least they do if you buy all the tat from a zoo gift shop. Did I mention PANDAS?
「#1 Schemer」 Well, I'm sure he's got it all figured out. Finding his furniture of judgement began to meet maximum capacity, Stu simply pushed his tat piles together until they formed a singularity.
Kat Aclysm I actually never knew that. Red pandas are cute as heck. But I just assumed they were called pandas since they look similar to giant pandas.
And because zoologists realized early on that giant and red pandas are closely related, they actually for decades classified both as racoons, because red pandas look more like racoons than bears. And so annoying biologists would scoff at people who'd call giant pandas 'panda bears' because, dear God, they're racoons you ignorant peasant! Now, much later, guess what they've discovered are actually their closests relatives? Bears. Just like they look, pandas are friggin bears with sharp contrast monochrome fur. So, I hope you learned your lesson: If it looks like a bear and quacks like a bear, then it's most likely a bear pretending to be a duck. Silly bear.
@@theinternet1424 Red Pandas and Giant Pandas are not closely related. Red Pandas are from the Ailuridae family of which it's the only surviving member. The Ailuridae family is part of the Musteloidea superfamily which includes racoons. Giant pandas are as you said bears
I'm putting my pedantic hat now, it's called a giant panda to distinguish it from what is known as the lesser panda or the red panda which is actually not closely related to giant pandas
I'm surprised you didn't recognize that the first figure was a starving Alaskan Polar Bear in the process of painting it's eyes as a Panda in the hopes of obtaining refuge at the London Zoo.
2:12 I'm so amused I could go to the UK by swimming just to say "Thanks" and go back home, for the amusement Stuart has brought into my life for a good five seconds
That weird panda ball at the end looks like teddie from persona 4 got morbidly obese became a vampire and got severe bruising from a fight with a large Romanian gentleman.
Just cracked open a Jurassic world kinder joy egg. Ashens, they are the coolest kinder surprise toys/tat ever. It was a stegosaurus that you put it's flesh on the skeleton and it's cash.
I was thinking my life was incomplete without that fighting Panda pen but that went out the window when I saw that giant inflatable Panda head on a inflatable stick.
the image with him and the panda stick with what was presumably his life force being taken away from him was one of the funniest things ive seen all year, strangely enough
"maybe there is some little pandas and I just missed" They are called red pandas, they look a little more like raccons than giant pandas but they are cousins
While it isn't wrong to say that they are cousins, all species that we know of are in fact related, it is slightly misleading. From what we know, red pandas are actually closer related to raccoons than they are to giant pandas. Of course, it is the giant pandas who are the misnomers here. It just so happened that people noticed that there bears had similarities to red pandas (simply pandas at the time) and the name stuck. Over the years, in some cosmic misfortune, red panda became obscure in at least the English-speaking world and the rest is history.
When I went to Dorney Park in Pennsylvania, they actually had a gift shop with build-your-own-we're-not-allowed-to-call-them-lightsabers, where you could choose different colors and animal heads to stick on. I believe at least one head was a unicorn.
Zoo gift shops are a beautiful thing. They have all sorts of cute animal plushes, but they always round out their selection with a bunch of junk toys and vaguely African-looking jewelry.
Many decades ago I worked for a local grocery store and we sold a brand of assorted flavored popsicles called Panda. They rang up as "Panda pops ass."
capness1228 XD
Presumabley panda pops assorted?
Ketsa Official MENSA member?
Thank you
You win the comments
I love when Ashens poses in a still picture with something, his expression is always pricelessly soulless.
Hands can't have souls!!!
That Universal logo is the best thing I've seen all night
I'm waiting to hear about the copyright strike that is inevitable.
Esme Marion I actually cried
If you like that one, have a look at his Ashens 10th Anniversary Anti-Spectacular video. He also uses it there with a different text ;)
Pandland Special
Now you're just having a giraffe!
"I'd buy that for a pand"
"Two bowls furra Paand!" - actual market seller quote
Eyyyyy!
"You require more training, pandawan..."
You could probably make an entire series out of the animal themed crap aimed at children that exists in zoo gift shops.
Yes
I work in those gift shops, we definitely sell all that kinda crap.
It'd probably be too expensive to be worth it
an entire fucking channel wouldn't be enough
I was laughing so histerically at that movie logo thing
Timeward how does anyone even manage that?
He's done it before. Watch his 10th anniversary special, 8 seconds in.
Same 😂😂
It deserves Oscars award
@@rs0389what do u mean
The image of Stuart holding the inflated Panda stick is everything. His face looks like sadness had a baby with disgust.
I figured it'd be a threesome between Anger, Disgust, and Sadness.
The pandas may be getting close to extinction, but the amount of tat cluttering Stuart's house sure isn't.
「#1 Schemer」 Well, I'm sure he's got it all figured out. Finding his furniture of judgement began to meet maximum capacity, Stu simply pushed his tat piles together until they formed a singularity.
「#1 Schemer」
Funnily enough the Panda population has been on the rise recently.
Giant Pandas got removed from the endangered list a year and a half ago.
It's time for another burner episode.
For the tat that is, not for the pandas
Pandas don't exist, Its a scam by the Chinese. They are all costumes.
"Pandas are boxers. And cars."
-Stuart Ashen, 2018
The Red Panda was discovered before the Giant Panda. Which is why the big one is called that :D
Kat Aclysm
I actually never knew that. Red pandas are cute as heck. But I just assumed they were called pandas since they look similar to giant pandas.
And because zoologists realized early on that giant and red pandas are closely related, they actually for decades classified both as racoons, because red pandas look more like racoons than bears. And so annoying biologists would scoff at people who'd call giant pandas 'panda bears' because, dear God, they're racoons you ignorant peasant!
Now, much later, guess what they've discovered are actually their closests relatives? Bears. Just like they look, pandas are friggin bears with sharp contrast monochrome fur.
So, I hope you learned your lesson: If it looks like a bear and quacks like a bear, then it's most likely a bear pretending to be a duck. Silly bear.
@@theinternet1424 Red Pandas and Giant Pandas are not closely related. Red Pandas are from the Ailuridae family of which it's the only surviving member. The Ailuridae family is part of the Musteloidea superfamily which includes racoons.
Giant pandas are as you said bears
I'm putting my pedantic hat now, it's called a giant panda to distinguish it from what is known as the lesser panda or the red panda which is actually not closely related to giant pandas
Jax Nean why don't you stick it up your arse
Aww shit! Jax Nean dropping knowledge bombs! Panda knowledge bombs!
So essentially, you have lesser pandas, which aren't pandas, and giant pandas, which are bigger than the animals that aren't pandas. Got it.
i find the commenter and his comment shallow and pedantic. could it be the hat?...
perhaps.
Don't you mean you're "putting *on*" your pedantic hat?
That panda Ashens opening will never be used again.
I would just like to say R.I.P. to Karl Skinner, a dear friend of Ashens and others. He will be missed.
The Panda Head on wheels reminds me of that PPI advert with Arnie's head on a small Tank with treadmills yelling "DO IT NOW!" at people.
Lukethefox S H E E R H E A R T A T T A C K
I'm convinced a chinese factory out there had a surplus of panda heads and a surplus of toys, and just said, "why not?"
Justin Y. Love you
Justin Y. Stop watching what i watch
Justin Y. 😂😂
The legend
We meet again.
That fake universal bit had me laughing 😂
I'm not sure sticking disembodied panda heads to random items is a good way of promoting the conservation of the species.
it worked with humans didn't it?
the face morph was pretty unsettling
Took me some time to realize why he had the expression as if he was literal embodiment of crippling depression.
Sprayed beer out of my nose laughing so hard at the universal logo parody.
He needs to use that more often.
Paul Donaghy I read that as "bear" the first time.
Paul Donaghy I wish he used the shitty flute version or the kid screaming version.
I laughed pretty hard at that too
Paul Donaghy It's beautiful, worth every second of animating and rendering.
Fun fact: There's a Berenstain Beads book where we find out that Papa Bear is racist towards Panda's. I'm not joking.
Austin Fredericks It's bloodstain after all.......racially pure blood.....
Its the New Neighbors book.
@@PointsofData Perfect.
I'm surprised you didn't recognize that the first figure was a starving Alaskan Polar Bear in the process of painting it's eyes as a Panda in the hopes of obtaining refuge at the London Zoo.
"That is what we call a seizure inducing horror."
Yes, as an epilepsy sufferer, I can agree with this.
I can't stop laughing at the panda stick image.
Max Rebo it looked like Stuart was going to kill someone with it...
Looked like he did a fatality from mortal kombat on a panda and then took a picture holding its head with the spine still attached...
Well, I hear some pandas do Kung-Fu, so boxing isn't such an "out there" idea.
The Universal logo in this video should be a meme.
I wish I couldve seen the meeting where the hollowed out Panda head race car was presented and everyone went "Yeah, this is good".
2:12 I'm so amused I could go to the UK by swimming just to say "Thanks" and go back home, for the amusement Stuart has brought into my life for a good five seconds
you looked so happy next to the stick panda head
I lost my shit at the Universal Studios parody! I really needed that!
I've never laughed so much at Panda related tat...hilarious!
That panda car is something else
Love the universal logo, it was exactly what I thought
When I look at the Wild Zoomies panda car, I can't help but feel reminded of Panga, the unlockable car in the game Re-Volt.
Missed opportunity to call this video “Panda-monium”
Edit: Just saw the ending, RIP
I remember Panda pop. The soft drinks, not some shitty mobile game which is apparently a thing.
Chuck Habegger I miss those drinks, my childhood!
I also used to buy these as a school children
Greatest “WTF” ever!😂
That weird panda ball at the end looks like teddie from persona 4 got morbidly obese became a vampire and got severe bruising from a fight with a large Romanian gentleman.
Why did you specifically say Romanian?
'An excellent giraffe'
Just cracked open a Jurassic world kinder joy egg. Ashens, they are the coolest kinder surprise toys/tat ever. It was a stegosaurus that you put it's flesh on the skeleton and it's cash.
I was thinking my life was incomplete without that fighting Panda pen but that went out the window when I saw that giant inflatable Panda head on a inflatable stick.
Finally the panda community’s recognized
Is this Ashen PANDERING to his fan base?
Oh please, I can't bear the thought of bad puns.
These puns sure are... *SHITTY!*
aaahahahahah
Stop trying to bamboo-zle me with these un-bear-able puns.
He's certainly trying to PANDER to any Chinese audience he might have
haHAA
Very sly reference to Dan there, lovely stuff.
the image with him and the panda stick with what was presumably his life force being taken away from him was one of the funniest things ive seen all year, strangely enough
That WTF moment matched mine perfectly.
I love your videos been watching for years!!! This one is going to start a panda-modium
OMG!! the WTF movie intro scene is HILARIOUS!!!
can we talk about how frickin’ adorable pandas are though? I just want to hug one!!! ❤️🐼❤️🐼❤️🐼
"This is BEARLY a Panda at all."
Ugh, this'll trigger a pun panda-emic...
You see what you've unleashed here in 2020?
That WTF ident may be my favourite Ashens/Barshens ident gag ever.
That "What the Fuck?" animation was simply brilliant!
2:54 Put that shit on a t-shirt, that's f**king hilarious.
That makes me a saaaad panda....
gmcnewlook These things Phailed
P A N D A S
パンダ
It's a good life. Watching vintage Ashens and eating... Panda Express.
Ashens posing with the inflatable panda staff like the world's surliest twelve-year-old boy.
i need that universal WTF bit (2:38) as a video i can send ppl who send me shit or when i see wierd shit happen because thats just the best.
the car reminded me of panga from revolt
Stuart looked like somebody's angry dad with the panda staff.
Nice
Oh god I want to see that version of the intro again, I dunno why it just made me laugh so much.
There are 'red' and 'giant' pandas, I think:-)
Red pandas are adorable little things.
I love red pandas so much. A few years back, I was lucky enough to be able to pet one at Nagano Zoo.
They have an interesting sense of humour, though. The footfall of a wellington boot is the height of comedy for those red boys.
maybe they will make You Tube Giant next. Well if they do, I hope it's at least fucking availible in the uk!
Buc Whovian What do you mean?
When the next food special Ashens? Been waiting...
david gutierrez panda meat?
That 'Polar Panda' was hilarious! Gotta have that on display somewhere!
This channel is amazing!
Don't worry!
I'm always looking forward to see your videos. No matter how shity your day is. Ashens always cheers you up.
that panda lightsaber is the rare unicorn panda
They're called giant pandas because they're bears, and all the other pandas are about the size of a racoon.
Thanks Stuart. This cheered me up. Been having some rough times with a girl, so your panda video helps take my mind off of it
I love Stuart’s midrolls... he uses them to his advantage! The sign of a good comedian who would work well outside of the hellscape of youtube
PANDASHENS
"maybe there is some little pandas and I just missed"
They are called red pandas, they look a little more like raccons than giant pandas but they are cousins
Red Panda's are super cute (and a bit menacing looking at the same time!).
TheNzFox they are also known as firefoxes, hence why the logo for Firefox has one
While it isn't wrong to say that they are cousins, all species that we know of are in fact related, it is slightly misleading. From what we know, red pandas are actually closer related to raccoons than they are to giant pandas. Of course, it is the giant pandas who are the misnomers here. It just so happened that people noticed that there bears had similarities to red pandas (simply pandas at the time) and the name stuck. Over the years, in some cosmic misfortune, red panda became obscure in at least the English-speaking world and the rest is history.
Loved the intro. 'Pandas.' Such enthusiasm.
Oh Ashens, you make the day more bearable :)
It was like the ending was scripted by Barry.
That panda lightsabre belongs in a rave.
*cue rave music with extremely low lighting*
I got an ad before the movie logo. Oh the timing matched with the pause. Amazing.
rediscovered Ashens videos recently. And my oh my, he's on form these days. Properly brilliant, this vid.
Drinking game - Drink every time Ashens says “Panda/s”
No thanks, I want to live
But DO you though?
first rule of panda fight club ,,,,is you dont talk about panda fight club
Panda car makes perfect synchronicity to me. All mixed together with serendipity and common sense. Der der der der!
Hey Stuart! We're out there, we're watching and you're doing a bloody great job. Keep at it!
I would be somewhat disappointed if there isn't a boxing kangaroo pen.
Josh I Kangaroo Jack in tat form.
I own 6
Is it just me, or did the pic of Stuart with the balloon look like he's 100 years old?
That wasn't Stuart, it was that painting of himself he keeps in the attic.
Some people call me Stuart.
Love the photo with the panda stick!!!! Grumpy face!!!! Lol!!!!
The panda sabre hurt my eyes lol, but then again I have been awake for almost 24 solid hours and am getting really tired and my eyes are sore. xD
I approve.
ewwww!!! dirty panda from pound land
All the panda's straight from Hell for your viewing pleasure. Really understanding the net term 'sad panda' now.
Uglybug Gaming ay nice mask
That last one kind of reminds me of one of the characters from Madagascar....Mort, the little thing with big eyes that cries a lot.
I haven't watched Ashens for a long time, glad to see he's reviewing my favorite animal
Did they make it so that that "Snug As" label so it would look like it says "Snug Ass" at a glance on purpose?
it belongs in a museum.
Jay Nadiah It belongs in a bonfire
It belongs in an incinerator.
When I went to Dorney Park in Pennsylvania, they actually had a gift shop with build-your-own-we're-not-allowed-to-call-them-lightsabers, where you could choose different colors and animal heads to stick on. I believe at least one head was a unicorn.
Zoo gift shops are a beautiful thing. They have all sorts of cute animal plushes, but they always round out their selection with a bunch of junk toys and vaguely African-looking jewelry.
I can confirm that the Edinburgh Zoo gift shop was indeed exactly like this.
pandas
Fraser Currie I love how the first comment wasn’t ‘first’
*pandas?
Yes, pandas.
Peter the Panda
Don't be upsetti eat some spaghetti
Preferably out of a 16 year old can
Alexander Amis It'll be safe to eat, it's been preserved in a Chef Excellence sealable bag!
That was smart I like that
He would, but Chef Excellence is too drunk and lazy to prepare it.
I remember when my local zoo here in Toledo, Ohio had an exhibit of two pandas back in '88.
This pleases me. You have done well, Ashens.
Poundland? Pandland, surely?
I'll go now.
How are those parody Universal logos made?
Vipid
*(George Lucas seeing the panda kebab)*
"WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?!"
That lightsaber looks more like a rave stick.