@stevegraham6877 No, it really is "as dull as ditchwater" and has been been forever. Ray Cousins is absolutely correct. This really is a case of mishearing of a very old saying.
Don't let people tell you to use a British/English accent when talking, it can sound cringe. Use your regular speech, your accent will change over time being immersed in England.
The two finger salute comes from English archers in the middle ages. If the French caught them, they would cut off the 2 and 3 figures you use to fire an arrow. So the archers stuck those figure up at the french at the start of a battle... a f#(£ you gesture. Yes this has been with us for around 800 years.
Little debate on this one the French connection is popular but why is it an insult to the British another take is back when black powder became available to the gentry hunting with a bow and arrow was made illegal and remains so to this day. The only time a peasant was allowed to carry a bow in public was practice day or in time of war so if you get caught with a bow not on practice day you were deemed to be poaching and could lose your nock fingers so it could have been a gesture aimed at the gentry . Like a lot of sayings and gestures nobody knows for certain their origin. But it is nice to think of the bowmen at Agincourt giving the French commander the two finger salute after he threatened to cut the bow fingers of any archer he captured
It's "AS DULL AS DITCHWATER" !! The lift doesn't go to the top floor. The lights are on but no ones at home. If brains were dynamite , he wouldn't have enough to blown his hat off. When he was in the queue for brains, he thought they said trains....and missed it. Has a face like a bulldog licking piss off a thistle. He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. Has a face only a mother could love.
Married with Children: Peggy's maiden name was Wanker, and in the script for the first episode she's described as hoovering the rug. An Anglophile writer
The most difficult thing for Americans to understand is that when we say this sort of thing to our friends, it's a sort of bonding thing. It's called "banter". However, never banter with someone you've never met before. You may end up getting a "Glasgow Kiss".
Now this is a tame list, you did well to find 10 insults so clean. If you want some good British insults, get yourself on a building site, may contain harsh language.
I always liked Bernard Mannings description for a certain type of middle aged lady who had lost her looks…… she had a face like a sackful of spanner’s”
Not the full ticket is not saying someone is stupid or dense, it's saying they could be dangerous. Typically you'd warn someone about a person by saying "be careful, they're not the full ticket", meaning tread carefully they could be dangerous or harmful.
Loved hearing all the latest iterations of Brit “off the cuff” casual insults, as I’ve lived 65% of my 76 years living in Southern Ontario Canada. I had heard most of them but one I love for someone who looks sad is, You look like a slapped arse!
"You Plonker" is from the sitcom, often, voted Britain's most popular "Only Fools And Horses" which is ironic as it was set in the area that I was brought up in (Peckham) and my era and yet it wasn't; for me...
No.1 You could also us 'as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike. This might be more legend than fact, but it’s said that the two-finger salute dates back to the days of British archers. If captured by their enemies, archers would have their fingers cut off to ensure they could no longer draw a bow. So, showing two fingers became a defiant gesture to mock their foes, as if to say, “Look, I’ve still got my fingers!”
Just scratched the surface there....My fave', spoken by the Late, Great, Bernard Manning....."That's about as funny as a burning orphanage"...You're Welcome
Plonker can into popular use as it was a catch phrase of Dell Boy in the sitcoms Only Fools and Horses. Which oftrn top the list of all time favourite British sitcom. "You plonker Rodney" was often heard when something was going wrong for the 2 main character in the show
Yes,I just wrote " "You Plonker" is from the sitcom, often, voted Britain's most popular "Only Fools And Horses" which is ironic as it was set in the area that I was brought up in (Peckham) and my era and yet it wasn't; for me...
@@old.not.too.grumpy. Yes,Mate. It's, ironically, because I was born and lived for 29 years just 2 miles from there in that very era but not for me. A telling sign is when they, always,show the same Bar scene or them dressed up as Batman and Robin to show examples of the humour..Never a good sign like Dad's Army and "Don't Tell Him Pike" yet when they show clips from the brilliant "Yes, Minister" or "Yes, Prime Minister" they are different each time. The other irony is that at 70 years old, my favourite programme, by far was The Comedy/Drama "Minder" with the amazing George Cole and Dennis Waterman.
Two finger salute,. Showing the inside of the fingers, is a symbol for victory, as Churchill used it. Showing the back of the fingers, is saying F off. (go away in the rudest way.)
Keep practicing that British accent Mandy 🙃😘 the more you do it the more you’ll ace it. I dare you to start one of your live Tuesday night streams on here in a British accent 😁😘
Did you get caught out by auto-correct as in "not dishwasher" being changed to "not dishwater" or do what I sometimes do and rewrite the order of something and don't re-read it before posting?
Here's some of the more printable examples from my list after many decades of being northern British... She's not got all her chairs at home As much use as an ashtray on a motorbike A face like a robber's dog/welder's bench/bag of spanners I had bosses nicknamed Walking Eagle (so full of sh*t they couldn't fly), also one called The Seagull (flew in, made a lot of noise, sh*t all over everything and flew away again) they were as popular as a turd in a lucky dip.
Oh, it's so not 'dull as a dishwasher'. I know it as 'dull as ditchwater' (have heard 'dishwater' too). My current favourite insult is used to describe singing such as the late, grate Cilla Black produced: sounds like a fire in a pet shop. My grandad, yer actual Victorian, used to say that someone with a bag on was 'like a dying duck in a thunderstorm'. I think that is about as unfathomable as you can get.
By the simple process of adding 'you absolute' to any inanimate object you are free to create your own insults that we Brits all understand. For example: you absolute plank
Another way to describe people who are not the best looking is to say "you've got a face that should be on the radio". It's "DULL AS DITCHWATER" not dishwater or dishwasher.
Mad as a box of frogs, that's how I describe my two cockapoo's. Not really used as an insult for people more of 'banter' desciption of someone. I think sometimes Americans dont get the subtlety of British humour, it's more nuanced.
Mad as a box of frogs doesn’t mean the frogs are going insane, a box full of frogs they’d be jumping about like crazy or like there mad not literally going insane you insain bint
All of these are archaic, derived from tv and not in common usage where I live and work. A better phrase for ugly is "a face like a bag of spanners" or "a face like a welder's bench". A better phrase for low intelligence is "solid bone from the neck up".
the 2 fingers is from wars w france english longbowman were amazing and french wud cut the bow fingers. 2 fingers shows we still have our bow fingers be warned. its annoying seeing it it cheesey usa' ers pictures lol thats not peace. peace is the other way round
Your British accents aren't bad at all, but you are using many of them; and mixing them up in the same sentence. This comes across as a bit weird!.Your biggest influence seems to be Northern (there are many Northern accents) and you mix them up which on it's own is confusing - but you also mix in Midlands, London, and RP. You're a hell of a lot better than Dick van Dyke, but a lot more confusing. Pick one and stick to it and you'll be golden!
Your trying to hard with the accent. I can hear your accent is changing and you've started to use a glottal stop when pronouncing certain words anyway. We use the one finger but we normally say "Sit on it and swivel", by the way don't you call it "Flipping the Bird" at someone in the US anymore then"
It's not "as Dull as a Dishwasher", it's "AS DULL AS DITCHWATER", meaning it's as interesting as a stagnant pool of murky water.
dull as dish water
@stevegraham6877
No, it really is "as dull as ditchwater" and has been been forever. Ray Cousins is absolutely correct.
This really is a case of mishearing of a very old saying.
Don't let people tell you to use a British/English accent when talking, it can sound cringe. Use your regular speech, your accent will change over time being immersed in England.
@@crackpot148exactly
Don't think a two fingered salute would be said too much, but you would see it.
As useful as a chocolate fireguard. As useful as a fart in a spacesuit.
Not sure how popular “as thick as two short planks “ that is one I still use
Dull as ditchwater not a dishwasher 😂
Ditch water, not dishwasher 😂
The lights are on, but nobody's home!
The lift doesn't go all the way to the top
I like the one from Ace Ventura better, "The engines running but there's nobody behind the wheel" 🤣
My favourite saying is, (in the right situation) " Go forth and multiply".
Swearing without swearing.
That one I use often, the look of confusion until they realise what you just said
@@tonyd3927 Exactly, and sometimes straight over their heads.
Dull as ditchwater 😂😂
Useless as a chocolate fire guard is a more common one
You don't say two finger salute, you give the two finger salute, and if you talk about it, then you say I gave him the two finger salute.
My favourite I often used at work " they are three pennies short of a shilling" meaning someone is not up to the task
Mad as a box of frogs - or alternatively = nutty as a fruit cake - mad as a hatter .😊.
Chocolate teapot.... Or glass cricket bat, chocolate fireguard, nun's nunny etc.
no mate, you can keep your glass cricket bat and nun's nunny.
As useful as an ashtray on a motorbike 😂
Mad as a box of frogs = ie completely bonkers
The two finger salute comes from English archers in the middle ages. If the French caught them, they would cut off the 2 and 3 figures you use to fire an arrow. So the archers stuck those figure up at the french at the start of a battle... a f#(£ you gesture. Yes this has been with us for around 800 years.
Not so much of the English archers, mate. At the battle of Crecy and battles following those "English" longbowmen were actually Welsh..
*fingers ... ( _Not_ figures!!)
Little debate on this one the French connection is popular but why is it an insult to the British another take is back when black powder became available to the gentry hunting with a bow and arrow was made illegal and remains so to this day. The only time a peasant was allowed to carry a bow in public was practice day or in time of war so if you get caught with a bow not on practice day you were deemed to be poaching and could lose your nock fingers so it could have been a gesture aimed at the gentry . Like a lot of sayings and gestures nobody knows for certain their origin. But it is nice to think of the bowmen at Agincourt giving the French commander the two finger salute after he threatened to cut the bow fingers of any archer he captured
It's "AS DULL AS DITCHWATER" !!
The lift doesn't go to the top floor.
The lights are on but no ones at home.
If brains were dynamite , he wouldn't have enough to blown his hat off.
When he was in the queue for brains, he thought they said trains....and missed it.
Has a face like a bulldog licking piss off a thistle.
He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
Has a face only a mother could love.
Has a face for radio.
What amuses me is that ‘wanker’ is a common US surname / in fact Mr Wanker owned the grocery store in Mork and Mindy 😂😂
Married with Children: Peggy's maiden name was Wanker, and in the script for the first episode she's described as hoovering the rug. An Anglophile writer
I’ve lived in America since 1996 & I’ve never heard of a Wanker surname. Maybe married with children knew what wanker meant & went with it.
The most difficult thing for Americans to understand is that when we say this sort of thing to our friends, it's a sort of bonding thing. It's called "banter".
However, never banter with someone you've never met before. You may end up getting a "Glasgow Kiss".
Mutton dressed as lamb.
Carrion dressed as mutton !!
@VincentSmith-i7o dead flesh.
@Avfc-m4w Cadaver in make up !
@Avfc-m4w Cadaver in make up !
The phrase 'No oil painting' might be related to the story of Henry VIII's fourth wife Anne of Cleves.
Dull as 'dishy dishwater' lol, you crack us up sweetie! Bless your wee soul 😂
Now this is a tame list, you did well to find 10 insults so clean.
If you want some good British insults, get yourself on a building site, may contain harsh language.
My favourite .... as useful as a chocolate teapot. Means it's flipping useless. Being either a person or an item.
More likely to hear not a full shilling rather than ticket.
I always liked Bernard Mannings description for a certain type of middle aged lady who had lost her looks…… she had a face like a sackful of spanner’s”
Ditch water. 😂😂😂. Not a dishwater. Bless you.
Thick as two short planks, but maybe that's common to both countries.
The 2 finger salute also known as the Agincourt salute
Not the full ticket is not saying someone is stupid or dense, it's saying they could be dangerous. Typically you'd warn someone about a person by saying "be careful, they're not the full ticket", meaning tread carefully they could be dangerous or harmful.
Forget the 'British' accent.
Not silly plonker - just plonker. A plonker is a silly person.
Dull as a dishwasher? Where did you get that from? 🤣🤣🤣
Loved hearing all the latest iterations of Brit “off the cuff” casual insults, as I’ve lived 65% of my 76 years living in Southern Ontario Canada. I had heard most of them but one I love for someone who looks sad is, You look like a slapped arse!
If you hear ditchwater as dishwasher, you must have cloth ears.
"You Plonker" is from the sitcom, often, voted Britain's most popular "Only Fools And Horses" which is ironic as it was set in the area that I was brought up in (Peckham) and my era and yet it wasn't; for me...
Not the full ticket : Has a screw loose.
You see masses of 2-finger salutes to the referee at football matches.
No.1 You could also us 'as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike. This might be more legend than fact, but it’s said that the two-finger salute dates back to the days of British archers. If captured by their enemies, archers would have their fingers cut off to ensure they could no longer draw a bow. So, showing two fingers became a defiant gesture to mock their foes, as if to say, “Look, I’ve still got my fingers!”
Just scratched the surface there....My fave', spoken by the Late, Great, Bernard Manning....."That's about as funny as a burning orphanage"...You're Welcome
I don't think it's 'dull as a dishwasher'. I always say 'dull as dishwater'. Dishwater can be very dull when it's been used to wash alot of dishes.
Wankpuffin, wankspangle or my favourite as I'm Scottish, bawbag!
Plonker can into popular use as it was a catch phrase of Dell Boy in the sitcoms Only Fools and Horses. Which oftrn top the list of all time favourite British sitcom.
"You plonker Rodney" was often heard when something was going wrong for the 2 main character in the show
Yes,I just wrote " "You Plonker" is from the sitcom, often, voted Britain's most popular "Only Fools And Horses" which is ironic as it was set in the area that I was brought up in (Peckham) and my era and yet it wasn't; for me...
@Isleofskye I thought it was only me that didn't rate the programme. The only episode I laughed out loud at was the one with the blow up dolls
@@old.not.too.grumpy. Yes,Mate. It's, ironically, because I was born and lived for 29 years just 2 miles from there in that very era but not for me. A telling sign is when they, always,show the same Bar scene or them dressed up as Batman and Robin to show examples of the humour..Never a good sign like Dad's Army and "Don't Tell Him Pike" yet when they show clips from the brilliant "Yes, Minister" or "Yes, Prime Minister" they are different each time.
The other irony is that at 70 years old, my favourite programme, by far was The Comedy/Drama "Minder" with the amazing George Cole and Dennis Waterman.
As useless as, a chocolate fireguard/a glass hammer/an ashtray on a motorbike/Anne Frank’s drumkit etc. So many of them.
Yep. Prongless fork, inflatable dartboard, solar-powered torch, etc
About as much use as a fart in a space suit
My daughter bought me a chocolate teapot. It was actually quite useful, for making hot chocolate.
Two finger salute,. Showing the inside of the fingers, is a symbol for victory, as Churchill used it. Showing the back of the fingers, is saying F off. (go away in the rudest way.)
Dead from the neck up: Brain-dead. - It's not rocket science, is it?
Keep practicing that British accent Mandy 🙃😘 the more you do it the more you’ll ace it. I dare you to start one of your live Tuesday night streams on here in a British accent 😁😘
As much use as a handbrake on a boat.
We say Dull as Ditchwater, which makes more sense. Perhaps it's a location thing.
dull as dishwater or ditch water, not dishwater. bless ya
Did you get caught out by auto-correct as in "not dishwasher" being changed to "not dishwater" or do what I sometimes do and rewrite the order of something and don't re-read it before posting?
In the north it's a chocolate fire guard.
Here's some of the more printable examples from my list after many decades of being northern British...
She's not got all her chairs at home
As much use as an ashtray on a motorbike
A face like a robber's dog/welder's bench/bag of spanners
I had bosses nicknamed Walking Eagle (so full of sh*t they couldn't fly), also one called The Seagull (flew in, made a lot of noise, sh*t all over everything and flew away again) they were as popular as a turd in a lucky dip.
Oh, it's so not 'dull as a dishwasher'. I know it as 'dull as ditchwater' (have heard 'dishwater' too).
My current favourite insult is used to describe singing such as the late, grate Cilla Black produced: sounds like a fire in a pet shop.
My grandad, yer actual Victorian, used to say that someone with a bag on was 'like a dying duck in a thunderstorm'. I think that is about as unfathomable as you can get.
By the simple process of adding 'you absolute' to any inanimate object you are free to create your own insults that we Brits all understand. For example: you absolute plank
Another way to describe people who are not the best looking is to say "you've got a face that should be on the radio".
It's "DULL AS DITCHWATER" not dishwater or dishwasher.
Which British accent are you trying to do?.
A South African with a speech impediment and mild learning difficulties who's lived in Sydney for the last sixteen years.
Mad as a box of frogs, that's how I describe my two cockapoo's. Not really used as an insult for people more of 'banter' desciption of someone. I think sometimes Americans dont get the subtlety of British humour, it's more nuanced.
Muppet= someone who is easily controlled or manipulated.
As much use as a fart in a space suit.
About as useful as an ashtray on a motorbike.
Put your brain in a budgie and it will fly backwards
Wait….what the hell does that mean? 😭
@ the same as a sandwich short of a picnic, not operating on all cylinders.
There’s an Australian one that says kangaroos in the top paddock
You are a cunning linguist and a master debater
😆
Probably "as much use as a chocolate teapot" more than "as useful as". Nice selection though.
PINCH of salt.
10. Similar. A few short of a full dozen.
Dull as ditchwater , surely
Wanker can be affectionate.
Mad as a box of frogs doesn’t mean the frogs are going insane, a box full of frogs they’d be jumping about like crazy or like there mad not literally going insane you insain bint
It’s “not the full shilling” really….
Sometimes, “A bit ninepence to the shilling”. For younger readers, a shilling was worth 12 (old) pence.
Dish water ot dishwasher
All of these are archaic, derived from tv and not in common usage where I live and work. A better phrase for ugly is "a face like a bag of spanners" or "a face like a welder's bench". A better phrase for low intelligence is "solid bone from the neck up".
as useless as an ashtray on a motor bike
Dull as dish water
Uphill gardener
That's me!
Your videos are certainly are "the dog's bollocks"🙃
Hiya Mandy, hes not all there, means he or she hasn't got allot of common sense,this is Choppy
*dull as DITCH WATER !!
It's dull as ditchwater.
You sneaked in daft and fit. Full marks.
Now redo it with no clothes on.
the 2 fingers is from wars w france english longbowman were amazing and french wud cut the bow fingers. 2 fingers shows we still have our bow fingers be warned.
its annoying seeing it it cheesey usa' ers pictures lol thats not peace. peace is the other way round
Not the full shilling!
I think your accent is becoming more English anyway
Dull as a Dishwasher, Very limited abilities, or Boring.
dull of ditchwater
We say as ugly as a bag of frogs
You didn't sound Irish. Your"British" accent is closer to Australian.
It's dull as ditchwater.
No.7 is essentially not very bright, witty and/or interesting.
Your British accents aren't bad at all, but you are using many of them; and mixing them up in the same sentence. This comes across as a bit weird!.Your biggest influence seems to be Northern (there are many Northern accents) and you mix them up which on it's own is confusing - but you also mix in Midlands, London, and RP.
You're a hell of a lot better than Dick van Dyke, but a lot more confusing. Pick one and stick to it and you'll be golden!
Your trying to hard with the accent. I can hear your accent is changing and you've started to use a glottal stop when pronouncing certain words anyway.
We use the one finger but we normally say "Sit on it and swivel", by the way don't you call it "Flipping the Bird" at someone in the US anymore then"
It is dull as dish WATER not dish washer.
Ditch water😂
When are going to use a Accent.?
Please stop the accent. It's not close to British and is offensive.