I am glad i left UK a week after writing my last exam, no regrets at all. Also 41 and no debt, built my houses from scratch, much much bigger than the houses I lived in UK. Managed to become self employed at 37.
I left after my dissertation. I am working now. I no longer get anxious about meeting up with bills. I am able to live a cheap life and pay into my Investment account. I'm able to start a business and own property. I will be financially free during my lifetime.
When I was young it was everyone dream to get a UK visa. But now that I have been in UK for 30 years, I can see that everyone who stayed at home is generally better off than those who went abroad. Because most of us only considered the financial aspect. But so many other things make life in Africa better than in Europe.
No. They aren’t better off. Money is needed EVERYWHERE you go. But go and ask them there. They will disagree and are always asking for money. When you go there, you are living off British currency that’s why you think it’s better. Go there. Live on that currency. Then you will quickly remember why everyone wanted to come to the UK/ the west to begin with. It’s because you’ve now got it, that why you probably don’t appreciate it. On another note… I’m saying this as a British citizen who was born here (my mother got here through marriage to my father who is British). Im speaking from the lense of a citizen. I don’t know what it’s like for immigrants. Maybe it’s harder. Who knows.
@gailainsley6939No not true. I have lived there a few years too, they have a much better family and social orientation than we in the diaspora. Money isn’t everything.
Things new immigrants don’t realise about abroad The loneliness, lack of community, no relatives , no events or parties and difficulty finding a marriage mate because everyone is chasing pounds I now understand how some people actually die on their own in their house and nobody notices for months or years
@daliaa5294 I couldn't put it any better. Lease, of life and relationships, are a big part of being happy and productive. I have faced this loneliness enough times
The UK IS NOT AN EASY PLACE TO BE AT ALL, THE LONELINESS IS NOT EASY, PEOPLE DON'T CARE THEY ONLY CARE ABOUT £, AND THE MATERIAL THINGS THEY OWN GOD HAVE MERCY IT IS WELL MAYBE GOD HAVE A DIFFERENT PLAN FOR YOU
I am second gen British but my parents went back home and my life is different. I have paid off my mortgage, our children are well brought up, we have four, no debts. Hope this encourages someone . It’s not all doom and gloom in England. I have other challenges that no one will want to take on, but England is not one of my problems. All the best, it gets better, to be fair those back home have issues as well. My parents never wanted to live here and my siblings are British but live in Nigeria. Our kids are well grounded and we have testimonies to that. They have the teachings of Christ and thank God they have kept to it. All the best.
Well said ,as Indian I too approve this comment,when we back home it is the same because people mind their own business not much socialising as earlier days in my experience.make sure you have PR here before think to move back ,sometimes it may not work out back home.so always have second plan❤
I totally agree with your comments. Going back home is alright if you are a home owner here, and you can sell up. However if you are a pensioner, living abroad, is not always easy, Health care, cost money abroad. The heat, the economy, the people you knew when you were young back home, are not the same. Crime in Jamaica is terrible. So please be mindful of your decision to rush back home. England isn't a bed of roses, but at least you know it. Think twice, and think again. Too many returned residents have been killed in Jamaica. 😢😮
Second génération will hardly have it as tough. Somebody paid the price. I am not saying there aren't positive first génération stories. Just highlighting the fact that this conversation is really about first génération immigrants and their struggles.
I am a citizen but I took my eldest back to Africa for two years. Since I bought her back here, her mental health has declined. She misses the community style of living and the loneliness is overwhelming. The quality of life is so low here. I plan to move back for good this year. The UK is a place to survive not thrive.
I ve learnt never to compare myself against anyone and society s standards. Life is material. We are not taking any of our possessions and or accolades with us when we pass on. Don t sweat the small stuff. Hugs❤
You have cracked the code. As much as I want and aspire for more, I don't compare myself with others. All fingers are NOT going to be ever equal for a reason. I have Christ and He provides and that's all that matters to me. Not judging her for wanting or aspiring for more. Each to their own. When you are on your death bed, none of these things would matter. Live your OWN life and be happy with what you currently have available ❤❤❤
@@maggien222absolutely correct 👍🏾 she is just comparing herself with the people back home and that will lead nowhere. People in Africa have their own problems and struggles like health and security and corruption
20 years in uk this year. Cleaned dishes at a restaurant in evenings and worked toilet attendant in a night club 3 nights a week for 3.5 years while studying and then sitting and passing some 14 tough accounting exams. No big regrets, did what i had to do and satisfied with where am.
Please I hope you see this message. I am also studying accounting and about to leave for my masters to Denmark. Can you PLEASE give me a pathway and an advice on what to do and how you excelled in the field.
@@god7418where are you currently? Accounting qualifications is super important. Find out what the qualifications recognised in that country. Also find out what the requirements to get a work visa.
This is the most honest, educative, insightful video I have ever watched on UA-cam! Thank you for sharing. Please know that, you’re not alone in this! Most African immigrants are facing the same dilemma. My mantra is: Better be where your soul is at peace, than where you’re a slave, especially to a system. I’m packing my stuff now and ending this circus one and for all!
Hi Sister Thanks for sharing ur experience. Rest assured you are not alone and some like me are in even worst situation. Now am seriously thinking of selling my flat and giving the bank what I owe and take the equity left and RUN ASAP to start afresh and am 61 right now. GOD BLESS YOU
@geoffreyapenya551 sounds like a very good plan. Please just be mindful when you return home to ensure no one tries to take advantage. Please share your success story and outcome x
@LulusDiaries-b6i On returning home I think I will be a lot wiser as my kindness to my people played a part in my failure here. We need to accept that there're things we can't CHANGE and those you can ie MINDSET. Is like trying telling kids to avoid the mistakes you yourself made while growing up. They don't get it! My return will be about DAMAGE LIMITATION AND SURVIVAL . We CANNOT possibly continue like this surely...! It's criminal not to react... I will be in touch. God bless.
@geoffreya... Yes Run asap whilst still have LIFE in U! even if hav 2 Live in Tent! I'm born Enslaved (until UK Gov De-Naturalize Us All) U must hav sn Brit riots; how indigen ous Live?🤔Yr Expctatns Way Off. U livin@ perc cieved highr status alredy U Need sum Money most importnt is Healthymind know God🤴🏿&Fam🌅🏕!
@geoffreya... Yes Run asap whilst still have LIFE in U! even if hav 2 Live in Tent! I'm born Enslaved (until UK Gov De-Naturalize Us All) U must hav sn Brit riots; how indigen ous Live?🤔Yr Expctatns Way Off. U livin@ perc cieved highr status alredy U Need sum Money most importnt is Healthymind know God🤴🏿&Fam🌅🏕!
@geoffreya... Yes Run asap whilst still have LIFE in U! even if hav 2 Live in Tent! I'm born Enslaved (until UK Gov De-Naturalize Us All) U must hav sn Brit riots; how indigen ous Live?🤔Yr Expctatns Way Off. U livin@ perc cieved highr status alredy U Need sum Money most importnt is Healthymind know God🤴🏿&Fam🌅🏕!
I've lived in America for over 20 years and I can relate to much of what you're saying. I've never really considered settling in my country Kenyan. Although I don't feel at home here, I don't want to return to a dysfunctional government, dysfunctional Healthcare system, corruption and watching so my people suffer since they can't find work. Until our countries change and become tolerable, I'm afraid our people will continue to look for a way out. Most of my siblings and my parents died because they couldn't get good Healthcare, even if they could afford it. The hospitals are understaffed, the medical professionals aren't given the right equipment and they're underpaid. No one can get good service under those conditions
It takes alot of courage to be this vulnerable. Living in Germany ten years now, turning 40 this year and i can relate to how you feel from relocating with alot of ambition, getting a child and having no support, your children's home being this foreign land that you feel disconnected to. Longing for home but seeing no future there in the short time and and and..... A real dilemma
I'm born in the UK yet find your video very relatable. I had a highly successful business here until 3ovid & brexit destroyed everything. Now I'm 41 an feeling like a complete loser with zero motivation. I can wake up ready to take on the world but stepping outside into the grey,dull,wet & cold climate here is so depressing. Let alone the cost just to survive. I've just applied for a skilled work visa and will be finally leaving the UK in April. 🎉 Good luck with your next move. Great video ❤
@chinedunedosa8925 Not sure what you're confused about. After the closure of my retail business I returned to construction as I'm a Bricklayer by trade. There's multiple countries that are crying out for trades. An although the day rate / price is similar, I lose alot of days here due to the bad weather.
I feel you , I’ve been in the uk for 4 years now and I know if I get a mortgage and start a family am stuck here so am renting and my plan is to go back home in 3 years because I’ve realised that’s where my heart is
There's nothing wrong in getting a mortgage, it's not a trap. You can rent out and use your rent to pay up your Mortgage,you can also even make extra money for yourself while it's on rent if you decide to relocate. As for Family, you can relocate with your family. It's not a trap
@@dubemezumba6365mind your business. Ppl are selling their homes all across the UK. It is not a wise time to buy a property in the UK due to a variety of reasons and there's no guarantee that renters will countinue paying high rent, especially as companies continue laying off staff. Also, mortgage prison (look it up) is a real thing. Do your due diligence before pouring money into thia system.
@@LulusDiaries-b6i dear sister don’t give up. See UA-cam as an opportunity to make some money and if you have documents try by everything necessary to buy land and go build at least just 2 apartments of 2 rooms in your country. That is the best life insurance for your self and you and your family will never lack. Africa is our only hope, Europes economy is living on borrowed time 🕰️ trust me sister. It shall be well don’t give up, God bless you and your family
The issue is that us Africans view a job as the way to success. Unless you are a lawyer, doctor etc., a job isn’t the way - entrepreneurship is. The moment there is less demand for your skills, you will find a depression in wages and unemployment. Entrepreneurs are better equipped to adapt.
Thank you for this. This is confirmation for me. Literally quit my job last night after being here in the uk for 3 years. I Literally cannot go another month in this place. This is NOT life. This is NOT living. Thank you for making this video.
Moving abroad is never a walk in the park, it involves a lot of sacrifices and hardwork, if you’re not ready to pay the price then don’t leave Nigeria. Going back to Nigeria also needs you to make a out a plan, make sure you have something to fall back on to avoid any form of regret.
@@louisubebe9011 I am Nigerian, in my twenties and never knew my parents growing up. I own my business in the FCT and looking to hire more staff and expand to another bigger location. This 'abroad' you people speak about is a *scam* ! Been all lied to and sucked into a form of modern day servitude to a country that doesn't and would never acknowledge or accept you, while waste there. If I can put my leg in and say today I am happy, very happy in Nigeria and would never immigrate (even with the background I was born into) so can a majority of you who fall for the illusive scam. Give your best to your country in Africa, even if it means sacrifices.
Sis, I really feel you. This resonate with me, I came to the UK at around the same time as you and my circumstances are just similar to yours at 43yrs of age feeling like a complete waste of my youth.
Life is a mystery! Life is spiritual! People that succeed in life in most part will attribute their success to their efforts. When I look back on my personal decisions over these years, I think I made the right decisions but the income is not proportional to those decisions. Life is not always “ garbage in, garbage out”. Life is a mystery and spiritual. After living in the US for 16 years now I can attest to this that there are so many variables we can’t account for.
I am a 40 year old female from Africa living abroad. I lived 20 years in Africa and it's been 20 years abroad. I have good job and love my life but I will say the dream for me is a remote job that's allows me to work from anywhere. Or runnable successful business where I can go solo so I can live 6 months back home, 6 months abroad. It doesnt have to be evenly split like that but just having the flexibility to be in either place whenever. To live back home I'd need a really good job because life back home is expensive, we use USD. Our economy is in shambles and the government cannot provide basic services like water and electricity so for sure I'd need a solar system, a generator, a borehole linked to the property's water pipes, wi-fi, cable and tight security.
This is an honest story from our wonderful lady. It's unfortunate that Africans especially Nigerians who God bless their lands will have to be trapped in what i call ' comfort prison' abroad. Yes there's comfort but no freedom. We all should join hands to build this God given beautiful continent.
Learning to count our blessings makes us thankful and less complaining. You have a husband, 4 children, roof over your head, good health,a career infact you are better off than 80% of your pairs. You should be grateful.
Literally. She comes off as so ungrateful. She has everything so many people want. Im 25 and want to start a family so badly, I would love to have a family and house like she has and be finished university ! It’s like when celebrities complain about their lives because “everyone has it hard in their own way” my god just be grateful
You guys are missing it....she isn't ungrateful but in a situation she regrets which is not living in her mother land. You won't understand until you are in her shoes. So please quit judging
@@sylviculture you assumed that I’ve never been in her shoes and you know nothing about me. I’m currently in the uk, I left my home country as well so you can zip it
I think I like your point. Not being judgemental, but can this lady also tell us how many of her so called mates that she is comparing herself with that have departed this earth? How many are way lower than her? How can she tell that one of those times she was ill in the UK and she was given the right treatment, she would have survived it in Nigeria? Also one thing I think is a bit deceptive for people who have gotten their indefinite leave to remain and talk about being better off if they had been in Nigeria, they are not the same as those they are trying to lecture/ hailing them, if this lady does go back and for example there is war, pandemic etc, she is not on the same level as other people hailing her. The UK government will send a plane to take all her citizens, including her. Let's learn to count our blessings. What structure did she have when she was here? Who were her advisors? There are many success stories here, from nothing to owning business empires, so every ones line is different, like I said most importantly, who were her advisors?
awww i'm 22, and studying in Germany- also as an international student and this might not mean anything but please don't feel so low of yourself. You are not a Loser! sometimes you might feel you haven't done much with your life, but if you look back you've come quite far. the grass always seems greener on the other side, but like someone else in the comments said, there is no sweet spot.
Yes, absolutely very wise statement from a 22 year old. I am so proud of you. But son/ daughter, she's wasn't saying she's a loser in terms of economic and material things. She got it all but she isn't happy and fulfilled in the system she's living.
The notion that life beings at 40 is just a myth,the key is to be content at whatever age we are and keep striving and doing our best with whatever we have on our plate.🙏🏾Mashalla --watch Leana Deeb on getting inspired!
I feel your struggle sis. I'm in the same boat as you. I was never interested in emigrating from my home country Nigeria in my early life till late 20s when life in Nigeria became difficult and hopeless. Decided to travel out 12years ago, moved to UAE then to Canada 10 years ago. Worked hard, became Canadian citizen and fairly successful. But, there's always that feeling that I don't belong here for various reasons including the cold climate, high cost of living and discrimination. So I'm stuck in this bubble of life for now. In regards to your mortgage, do you know you can always sell your house? It can be difficult to do but it's possible.
The GOD of heaven will guide you and fill every void in your heart and life in JESUS name. You will not be stuck in JESUS name. Be bold and do what is necessary for your peace and progress. Shalom!
i hear you .. i dey canada .. me to commot niaja back in 91 .. ( i moved because my papa get job as professor for here ) i went back to naija for the first time back in nov 2024 .. and i was really feeling and resonating with wetin our sister talk for this video .. we left paradise.. to come live in this god forsaken cold places.. the food no good, weather is nonsense .. and dem even dey under-pay us and racial abuse us and our pikins with impunity .. we need to collectively do what we can to make our homeland better.. so we can stay .. i am planing my exiit .. I don tire for oyinbo land .. i will rather be home anyday .. and i am moving back as soon as possible.. Also we need to tell the truth about the realities of japa life .. Most folks lie and gloss over the hardships // and also i find that many folks back home dont want to hear that things are hard here.. they think we are lying to them. so we can keep all the money and gold to ourselves.. lol meanwhile i see so many foreign folks. moving to niaja to make a good life and live better than they could live in their own countries. in our soil .. we are like a fine girl or boy in school .. who is also brilliant .. but somehow a bully has convinced us that we are ugly and no get sense .. there is nothing.. i repeat nothing.. that any of us should be doing outside of our homeland .. We have everything .. but we have been brainwashed to believe that paradise is in oyinbo land .. people wey no go do simple jobs for niaja. wey go pay descent money .. go gleefully come clean knash for oyinbo land ..
I understand what you’re saying as I’m in the same position. For me life is about choices and sacrifices. I’ve made decisions and sacrifices I can live with and I only focus on what I can control. As you said there’s a system to the UK and you must learn it as soon as possible and also teach your children it too. I share my highs and lows with my children so they understand the sacrifices being made. I also incorporate as much as possible my culture into my life and that of the children so they remember where they come from and don’t get lost in the system here. I work in a field that I believe is wide and you can easily transfer the skills to other fields. I purposely chose to do this having first went down a narrow career path. I regularly have this conversation with people about them choosing carefully what field you go down as if it’s too niche, and you then limit your future ability to pivot if needed. I have a few friends who have gone back home in their 50s having worked hard in the UK. You need to plan ahead and know what you want. Both of them had mortgages and children here. One person turned their mortgage to buy to let and rented out the house, their children are adults now so are doing their own thing. The other one does 6 months at home and 6 months in the UK. I plan to retire as early as I can (currently in my 40s) and move back to Africa or another country South of the Equator. My current ties to the UK will not hold me down as a slave, I will adapt and change as needed. You need to have a plan for your life but also enjoy your current life wherever you are in the world. E.g. Do you take time out to travel, go for a spa day, learn a new skill, have a hobby, volunteering etc. The more you experience different kinds of living the more you learn. It’s your life so get planning!
I couldn't agree with you more and I share your thoughts, like you say choices lead to consequences and sacrifices. I can work in most countries but it can only happen in a couple of years due to ties with my kids here in the UK. I travel a lot and try to enjoy my current life but it dawned on me recently that I need to do things intentionally for my future. Thanks once more let's stay in touch x
Travelling looks all good but it's the foundation of imprisoning yourself. The money you'll use for travels can help you buy properties in Nigeria or run other businesses. Have your business running so you never have to tie yourself to a country that you're regarded as immigrant and can take away your citizenship. Make money & travel for vacation there not as a home.
You have great values and work ethic. I’m from London and feel the same as you and I was born here. Change mindset and be positive, god will look after you.
This is exactly what I’ve been talking about for years. I’ve been in the states for almost 16 years after leaving Italy with my family. My family look at me crazy when I tell them I’m leaving the states to move back home.
This is quite relatable, I have also spent 20 years in the UK and Ireland combined but lucky to have made some investment in properties in Lagos and also lucky not to have tied myself to an expensive mortgage in the UK which I feel is a trap. I think getting education and experience is key to take back home. I just got back from a family holiday in Nigeria and the kids love it to bits. It’s important to work out an exit plan for oneself, it will take a lot of patience and sacrifices but it’s better. After having a property that gives yearly income, I’m working on another project currently. There’s so much to do in Nigeria, what you need is to be determined and to be resilient. If you can survive in the UK then you can do well in Nigeria if you maintain the same standard in whatever you do. It’s always better to live a life of purpose than to live a life of survival. Africa needs us to bring in positive changes from our experiences from the diaspora.
There no sweet spot.... I moved back home ...... U need to get a pen& biro , calculate ur life abroad( income & expenses).... do the same for back home for a managable life. I was a cemap mortgage qualified adviser in the Uk at 27 in year 2005....so i could see how much clients would pay in the long run. I had some famly issues around the credit crunch period so moved home as an only son.... I must admit i miss my potential UK income.....but i dont miss that cold gloomy weather. I manage a small biz and live on a budget.. Moved into mycompleted house 2 years ago, its not in the choicest area but if my funds permit. I will try and build another in a fancy area😂.. I wish i was into something like I.T where u can work from anywhere but im not. Im 46 now...we all have issues tho some people wont tell u. Thanks for sharing your content
@tigerlanzo8641 thanks for sharing your journey so far. I picked on something you said, wishing you were in tech (it's not too late to switch). 46 is young, all the best
I am 50 and as an adult have worked professional jobs and started businesses both in the US, and in africa at different times of my life, so take this advise from me -No one has it all figured out not even the ones who seem to have everything working perfectly in their favor. Life is a continuous journey, and as humans, we must keep moving forward, no matter the challenges. Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small, and take pride in how far you've come. At the same time, keep striving for more, knowing that growth is a process. The key is to balance gratitude for what you've accomplished with the drive to keep pushing toward your goals.Nowhere is perfect, and life remains a mystery. Some thrive back home, while others find success abroad. No matter where you are, the reality is that bills still need to be paid. Over time, I've come to the realization that the key is to do your best wherever you find yourself. If things don't work out, don't be afraid to pivot and try something else. It's far better to try, stumble, and rise again than to live with the heavy weight of regret for never trying at all. Life is about learning, adapting, and making the most of every opportunity-one step at a time. Love and light
A lot of facts shared, I really don't believe there is right or wrong but staying abroad as an Afican as a retiree is so hard. I can't wait to hear success stories. Thanks again gorgeous
I have just watched a YT video, think it’s called ‘the introvert nook’, the lady was talking about retiring into loneliness. I can relate to facing a dilemma about relocating to Africa or staying here to bond with grandchildren!
Coming back home means getting off the high horse you got on in the west. Fact is that we all fai to remember that colonial powers had slave labour to build the foundation for the "good life" we enjoy while out there. This "good life" is still bait thst gets us to volunteer as modern day slaves. We don't want to put in the work required and we don't have access to slave labour. Folks get reach off us by feeding off our perceived need for stuff we really don't need. I think you have to examine yourself to determine what's important to you. Sometimes we need to strip ourselves of the "keeping up with the neighbor" syndrome to find our individual paces in life. My needs include a roof over my head, good education for my kids (good quality doesn't necessarily mean expensive), a vocation I can live on with my family and find fulfillment in. Any other thing is secondary. Visit the average village in Africa and you'll see how many people live on much less than you'd consider "worthy" of you.
Couldnt have said it any better. You hit it right on the nail. This is the real problem Africans especially have. they forget these basics. Life at your own pace. Dignity for your humanity.
I'm a Brirish citizen. The UK has some amazing places to visit and live, but the 6 month winters where it gets dark at 4pm kill me! I'm also 32 and have no house. Probably would never be able to buy one on my salary independently. IDK where my life is going tbh 😂 but I feel you ❤❤❤❤❤
Ive lived here in the UK for 15 year, 10 of which i had no documents. It is tough. However, the right financial decisions will make the UK worth the inital hardship. I have now investment in property back home rather than taking a loan in the UK and ripping the benefit. I will retire back home in my 40's with no debt, living off my investment. I have one child, still young enough to join me. I wish you the very best for the future 🙏
I used to think that till I retired still in my working age and went back to my country of origin. I have all the good things such as houses etc but after 6 months, I returned to the US. You have to confront substandard healthcare, rigid bureaucracy, insecurity, and also a culture you once knew but is now foreign.
I think you need a plan before you even go and work abroad. Many of us go and then end up in the matrix. No exit plan and continue on the treadmill till old, tired and washed up. Yes you can make money but people never take into account that you need somewhere to live, food transportation electricity, water etc. So many expenses that eat into the wages that you get. Hopefully you can get out soon. Good luck
I think sob stories like this also go viral hence why i saw it, i dislike the weather here, the rest is good living although our fellow immigrants have turned some of the country into a shithole, go to Eastham in London, every train has fare dodgers, hopefully the money being saved is being reinvested back home properly and not just embezzled by relatives, you can build a good mansion back home, set up some rental properties and retire back home at 60 with pension and rental income, am 33 and will be somewhere sunny when am 60 hopefully healthy enough and comfortable, i will hopefully have only one child or 2 atmost So Help me god, ive been in a position without papers and still wouldnt go back to the dysfunctional country i came from
@jakelister5152 I think our countries have a major part to play in the immigrant struggles wanting to relocate abroad in search of so called greener pastures
Have you considered writing a book? If you, or any others reading this comment with similar experiences feel called to, please write about it. Not enough are writing their stories. As you may already know the classic book Second-Class Citizen by Buchi Emecheta. Your story and experiences are valuable. ❤️
This is so real, even for those not overseas or abroad but those who work in cities far from home. Its best to get land and build a beautiful humble home without stairs at home. A place that does not require monthly payments. Go home often and acclamatise your children to your home. Abroad is no place for an african pensioner. The environment is not condusive at all.
Just saw your video from the recommended section. I think Africans in the diaspora who want to return should have some entrepreneural drive to them because such qualities are rewarded in many African countries. I couldn't help but notice how you kept mentioning the need to look for a job once you return? Why not create something with the pounds/dollars/Euros made that side? I say this because the biggest reason many leave the continent is to seek better work opportunities abroad. I many also be naive on this because I'm self employed and am always looking for ways to make money. The ease at which it is to hustle here suits my style better. As corrupt and inefficient as many of our governments are, the fact that I can just start a business today and get it going is something I love about living in Africa. My currency is not as powerful as western countries and I have to apply for visas to visit there, but I live in a big house and can afford to have someone else come and clean it, take care of my pool and garden, etc. Something that is a luxury in western countries.
Thank you for sharing . I'm an immigrant now a us citizen living in USA but I'm planning to back home. and I came to realise the fact that 99% of immigrant are facing the same situation. Some try to hide it on social media but they complaining behind door. Getting away is possible but it will required ressources and sacrfice . I know many couples who sold their cars and houses with morgage and they went back to africa with their kids to launch a local business. The only thing that belong to immigrant is the knowledge and skills they have learned in school.
I want to move back to Nigeria with my children. The oldest is 15 years old. I have been taking to my children about relocation to. Nigeria. Initially they were resistant but now they are excited to move to Nigeria. We have started investing in Nigeria to build up wealth and to be be able to start a business so that we can give my children the standard of living in nigeria as in Uk. This is my 17 years in Europe and I believe that there is better quality of life in nigeria if you are in the middle class than in Europe. I have money but no enjoyments. I have got good clothes but no where to wear them to except church. But in Nigeria there is always parties man is a social being , I need to socialize and enjoy myself.
Anyone thinking of starting a business in Africa, please plan very very well. Remember that the purchasing power of Africans here is very low. Please keep that in mind.
Bravo. This is the most insightful of the immigrant videos I have watched all my time online. When Africans learn to live at their own pace and reduce or forget the my neighbour is this or that syndrome, They will have rest and closure. Africa is beautiful and like this lady has said... What do you want to see at the end....
I came here as a kid with parents and never feel at home snd wanting to leave ever since. Relationships, job opportunities and even thinking about getting a home are not worth it here.
I feel you left home very early. Sincerely, there are people who has worked for 35years back home and right now in their old age they are unable to access their pension, there children have no jobs after graduation and they are so frustrated. Have you been robbed before? Ok, i have experienced robbery attack with guns in my home. Have been arrested for giving an opinion? Ok, ask questions on how politicians deal with their subjects. My cousin died in the military for defending his country. Him and his team were sold out by their superior authority. My dear, i strongly believe you can still have a side hustle that'll keep you running while you patiently live your life in a way to enjoying it. Life is all about perspectives. Thank you
Thank you for highlighting this. I think majority of them have little idea of what is going on at home. Some just come during festive periods and feel like home is very perfect, but there's more to living at home. Majority of the people at home are frustrated and want to travel out and while the people abroad want to move back home permanently. I read about a woman that moved back home from the UK after her retirement only to relocate back to the UK again just after 6 months. I hope all these people really make out time and come visit home and stay for like 6 months before deciding on moving back home permanently. The rising unemployment rates and corruption back home is really disheartening. It's like everything is not working, not to talk about how cold and mischievous many people are here.
As Africans, we've turned traveling abroad for work or study into a trend or status symbol. Initially, we left as economic migrants, which I view as a modern form of slavery designed to seem appealing but ultimately harmful in the long run. I'm really impressed with her for sharing her life experience. Many will gain valuable insights from her story, although some might believe it won't affect them the same way. Only time will tell. Honestly, after studying abroad, the ideal action is to return home, but making that decision is tough because so many back home aspire to be where you are. Only a few understand this and choose not to go abroad due to their fear of the unknown. Thank you for sharing your experience with us.
It was a good video, but a friend said she wished she had what you achieved because she is in her over 40s, came here in her 20 for studies, she achieved her masters but still now she have not received at status in UK still waiting for approval, she has not married yet, just experience betrayal and no children's yet. Sometimes what you have someelse is wishing to have what you have. That's why in life we just have to be grateful what we have
After careful planning, we will soon JAPADA back to 9ja from the United States for semi retirement. Any Pesin wei work for 2 or 3 decades abroad & return to home country, simply means that individual or family are SMART-get Wayo. Enjoying in 9ja while getting Pension, Social Security, 401K and income from investments from abroad na ginger. For us work is going to be 💯% optional. Can do volunteer work! Right now 90% of prep is done & looking forward to it. Will always return for visit❤
Im British born black woman. I never understood why people would leave Caribbean and Africa to come here except for money but his money really worth it. Even my own grandparents I don’t understand why they never turned around when they started to experience racism in particular in the 60s. I have warned more and more African People from all over the continent. Don’t come here. Only to be told oh I am trying to prevent them from progressing, I’m jealous. Well here you have it. running to the country where your modern day oppressor and historical oppressor is and where they run the show is mind-boggling to me. I’m not sure what you expected but you got what you came for when you Chase money, this is what happens. I was used by a cameroonian for papers i was genuinely interested in building with him and did not know people could be so desperate as to marry with no conscience in order to be in their oppressors country the same oppressor who exploits and builds wealth on the exploitation of YOUR resources then traps your country indebt to them .. The only kind of leaders that are allowed to exist in Africa are corrupt ones we all know what the We does to the ones with integrity but why are you people not going home as soon as you can? In order to fix this. Decolonisation of Africa has never happened psychologically. You were lacking in judgement because you are brainwashed into hating yourselves and seeing Caribbean people (your own people) as less than and white western people and environment as superior to yourselves.Many of you have western mentality of individualism and greed im being honest. , Now you see Europeans running to Africa.The irony. Thank you for telling your story here my dear I would love to collaborate with you . Keep your head up.
Not sure why UA-cam recommended this video. I watched through and no doubt your heartfelt experiences what I can say is that in all that is said are gems of opportunities it all depends on attitude and mindset. I wish you all the best as you navigate those challenges.
There is but also don't forget that these videos are not only a reflection of my status but of several immigrants and they should start the thought process on what we should expect should we choose to stay abroad x
@@LulusDiaries-b6ias a white European woman I've been here in the UK for the last 23 years, and I don't have one single English friend male or female. The immigrants that are accepted into the English set of friends or into English families for friendship and support are in my experience the ones that get married to an English man or of if male to an English woman. This is from my personal experience and what I've observed while living here.
@@LulusDiaries-b6iWe should avoid being negative.We should be positive,focus and purposeful.The reason many immigrants face a lot of problem in diaspora, is due to lack of planning and purpose.We need to understand how the system works.Whether being abroad or at home is relative to an individual person.We need to be at the right place at the right time and maximise opportunities available to us.
False positivity is not helpful. Suppressing the real emotions - specific the negative emotions - leads to mental issues and stress. It’s important to be real - and this includes feeling the positive AND negative emotions
I know how you feel, I have been in the UK for 21 years, i managed to build a very good house back home with some landed properties and very good business. But still here in the UK. I can't wait to go back home, although i would like to spend some time here during summer.
Hi sister, just watched your video now. Like yourself I came to this country a few years go but from first day it was in my mind to go back home and not spending my retirement in here. I did not go for mortgage as I think its a big commitment. I think the best way to deal with this is to invest where you came from or where you wanna spend the rest of your life.
@@LulusDiaries-b6i My dear sister, gone are the days when Africa immigrants and specifically in Nigeria built at home and didn't move back to live in it. They start from spending a few months in the country and gradually up it to half/ half and then final relocation. The previous generations have less contact with folks at home. Visit every once in a long while. Most have no appetite to move back. Some built those houses because they were shamed into building them by family members. Some built in their country home (village) and realized later at the time, they're much older, they can't actually retire in those village homes. Retiring in the village is tough enough for those who live within the country. Let alone a person returning from abroad. This generations is smarter. First, with digital technology they follow every economic development and sociopolitical issues in their countries. They already know what's going on. Immigrants have realized it's not feasible to retire in the West with the current economic hardship and high inflation. Also, the fear of senior loneliness and ultimate ending in the nursing homes is real. We've seen previous generations struggle with aging here. We're more calculated. Most people know their plans upon their arrival. Those who wants to go back invest home. Those who wants to stay invest wherever they're. No one is building in the village anymore, they'll first secure a retirement home in choice neighborhoods in big cities. Even if circumstances making it impossible to retire at home because of chronic illness they can sell their city homes that has high market values. People are more intentional now. It's a different time in the world.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and fears. It draws my mind to the same unanswered questions and thoughts. For me, my government failed some of us who would have loved to return to our country.
Oh keep waiting for the government 😂 You go wait tire. God forbid me letting criminal politicians determine my destiny. Literally planting me where I don't want to be because of their failures. No, I can't give anyone control over my life.
Life is a struggle, and until the day you die, you will struggle wherever you are. There are advantages staying in Nigeria, especially with family support. Reality is . can change in Africa. The Naria value has dropped massively. Inflation has gone up by between 300 to 500%. You get older, and the health care is non-existent. I have friends who stayed in Nigeria and in their 60s want to come abroad to hussle. My feeling is that you are trapped in the UK. Just get on with it. The grass is always greener no matter where you are.
People only see negativity to justify their self deceit. If you live decades in abroad, you should have some sort of health insurance in that country you could be going back yearly for routine test, imaging and receiving treatment.
Thanks for sharing. Your story hit back home. I can related well, but the difference is that, I have a lot of skills but it can be challenging working using those skills simultenously to create a business or businesses.
@@LulusDiaries-b6i At least I am following your channel. I will reach out to you in the future about a project if I don't forget and if you would be up for it.
I love how you referred to moving back home as a "bold step". I know it can be hard in Nigeria but You see, studying in the UK equips you with a unique perspective that can make you very successful in Nigeria where the opportunities are just as endless as the problems.
If you were at your home country chances are that you would have still felt like a failure. Embrace your situation and count your blessings and stopped focusing on the negatives
I FEEL THE SAME WAY. I HAVE BEEN IN AMERICA FOR 27 YRS. I GOT MY EDUCATION , A HUSBAND & 2 KIDS(15&16YRS OLD). I WILL BE GOING BACK TO ZIMBABWE SOON. I AM EXTREMELY EXHAUSTED MENTALLY & PHYSICALLY.I NEED TO REST.
I moved to America when I was 12, I am now 33. Even as a child it was a dream to travel to America. 20+ years in the US, and I am seriously considering moving back. The cost of living here is ridiculous, I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere, I don't feel like I'm living, I only feel alive when I go home on vacation. I feel like I'm just working to pay bills. My dream of having a house in the US is no more, I just don't want to get into that trap. I have two babies, my husband who is American is absolutely in love with my home country. He would move in a month if I agreed to leave. But sometimes I think maybe it's just a dream, what if it fails. I work for myself and I can still come and work in the US for a month or two and have enough to live back home for a year. My husband is a retired vet, we are now considering to go back because I can't live even another year going in circles, hustling and getting no where.
Please carefully rethink your choices before coming back home. The grasses are not green over here as well, prices of basic commodities are rising everyday, cost of transportation and fuel is crazy. Even cost of education. Having a business isn't rosy as well cos of the purchasing power of people living there. Just be prepared to make extreme sacrifice if you want to come back home.
@ thank you and yes i kept refusing to my husband because i want to make sure i am ready and how i feel about home is not romanticized. I know there are many people living well back home, i dont want to get there and fail, i will take time to make sure I am truly ready financially to go back and be comfortable.
You just need to be content with wherever you are in life and make the decision to be happy. Sounds like you never really bought into the UK lifestyle, and you wanted ‘Nigerian life’ to be there for you in the UK. The very things you seem to loathe, mortgage, bills and consistent hardwork (aka productivity), are the makings of the developed economies. ‘Easy life’ as it seems in Africa also makes Africa what it is today (not saying there are no people doing well in Africa, but those tend to be exceptions). Stay positive and count your blessings in whatever you decide, otherwise no place on earth is ever going to be good enough for you. One just needs to buckle and do the hardwork and then you will see the results.
I can relate to how you feel. It’s hard to stay motivated when you aren’t happy in the current environment, even if I loved my job I still wouldn’t be happy in this country.
Let us not be the victims of our circumstances please, we have control. Good plan is the key and never give up. Where there’s a will there’s a way. It’s possible it is possible, think outside the box
Your content was very heart felt. I too am in the UK and have just started my own channel: Daily life in the UK. i have SUBSCRIBED to your channel to show my support. Best wishes. Lottie.
Hi there, I just left Denmark to start life again in Kenya. I understand completely how you feel which is also why I moved back. There is still time left. Don't lose hope. The first step is realizing that you are not where you want to be (which you have done) and the following is to make steps towards where you would like to be. Focus and work towards what you know you want. And don't compare yourself to those back home...it does not help.
Same here in US. We, as first immigrants will never belong. After 30 years, I don’t belong either here or back home in Russia. This is our curse. You were talking about our traps - absolute truth. Education, job that you can’t leave, mortgage, kids don’t want to be ripped out of their homeland 😢. I didn’t even choose to immigrate, my parents did.
The answer is if you have documents that can help you go back, start the transition by starting a business home, it's difficult but it's will work if you have the system, the technology and supervision, do well to visit at least twice a year if you can, in so doing you need to work for agency to give you that freedom, I don't really know how old your last child is, if he/she is a bit grown you can start the transition. Without a business you can never be comfortable back home, home is difficult unless you have everyday income coming to you, you can't go and be an employee again. Any business ideas you have please start small, it's not about the money but the understanding of the local people and the local economy. Peace Take care
First of all decide where you want to be and plan towards getting there. No place is easy, every where will have its challenges and no matter what the kids will adjust to any new environment. Selling your house might give you the cash boost you need to make a choice about where you want to live next. Theres nothing wrong with renting, if it gives you the flexibility to do more of what you want to do in life, e.g living abroad. Finally change your mindset, you sound very defeated which makes it more challenging to approach any new goals, see this as an opportunity to design the life you want for you and the kids. Its your life and you can shape it to what you want it to be. Goodluck 😅
Thank you for the video - first and foremost you are NOT a Loser.This has been your journey!Ive been in the Diaspora 30yrs we all have our struggles but Id like to encourage you to focus on on your achievements.Life can end anytime anywhere,simply enjoy your life as best as you can do not look at others!Take art!
You are not a loser. You are an entrepreneur and you are experiencing the nuances in societies that you may not have been fully informed about. These are lessons and should build you, not break you. You are NOT a loser.
The answer is. The 👠 Ruby slipper. THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME 😢 In other words. Stand your ground. There is no get rich QUICK SCHEM. Stay home, stand your ground. GOD WILL GUIDE YOU... 🌹
True confession. You are not alone in this. The only exit plan Africans and Nigerians should have in the Western world is to plan to exit back home. This should start the day you get your NIS number. That you built no house or even have one under construction in the 20years was a huge mistake. 17 years ago building a house anywhere in Nigeria was very cheap for someone in UK, US or Europe. However at 41, you still have time. Start now.
The kids have not been done justice. We scattered our genealogy for self-interest, and self-esteem issues. The kids barely speak the native tongue. Even the ones in Lagos or Abuja. The govt may have failed, but parents are the responsible ones of their offsprings, and continue to put the kids in a more confused state. Good story regardless.
Thanks for sharing. This country can be A TRAP. I am 62 going to 63 this year. I Started planning EXIT 2018. After a while I was tired and I know I need to move forward. My children are married and I am bored even though I live with my husband. I started buying land Lands in Acres not plots. I started thinking of living A LIFE, NOT SURVIVING. My husband is very reluctant about it but I had to take my life into my hands. OWN YOUR LIFE, AND LISTEN TO WHAT GOD IS TELLING YOU. I just bought a flat in African for my Air B and B business. I bought it cash down even though my husband said he did not have money.
Thank you Girl. You have saved my life, I was about to enter the same trap. Thank God the scales have fallen from my eyes and I am going home. God bless you.
You say taking kids home and bringing them when older like our parents did. How will that resolve the issues we’re facing? I think best thing to do is come take what we can and go back home. Home is best
Thanks for sharing your insightful thoughts on this sensitive topic. All your views are spot on especially working to pay bills, not saving enough, children growing up not knowing their culture et al. Honestly I am contemplating of going back home. Indeed our mates are living their best lives back home, they enjoy sunshine, organic food, children enjoy growing up in a community of aunties, uncles, nephews, nieces, there’s always ample help to raise the children. I strongly think that God is telling me to go back home through your video. I have heard other confirmations but your video has hit home. So thank you for opening up & God bless. Just subscribed!
Are all mates doing well back home for real? Food is organic, but there is scarcity. Poor health outcomes. Infrastructure not adequate. After a few years living abroad, it can seem easy to assume you will beat the odds in Africa and be the top 1% that lives well, but not always the case.
Comparison is truly the robber of joy and the grass is always greener on the other side. Happiness is internal, not external. There will always be pros and cons, no matter where you are. For me, the most important thing is access to good healthcare. I lost four loved ones due to poor healthcare back in Africa. When friends back home have to have fundraisers to collect hundreds of thousands of dollars to pay for life-saving operations abroad for their kids, I am thankful, that through the health insurance contributions I pay, I can access the best healthcare. I am thankful for that.
Thank you for being so vulnerable.Am 42 ,South African I want to go back home .I feel trapped here ,have been here for over 20 years too ,married,children.The decision to uproot everything to move back is a big ? Mark .You not alone Sis ,I don’t want to retire here definitely and asking God for favour and wisdom.My husband is ready to move and bless him he was born here .He is done with this place.His persuading me now that we should just do it ,sell everything and go
I don't regret it because I managed to make a sacrifice, lived modest, saved money , opened a business, had my children,,travelled the world, bought a home here, and built a home in my country But I am a child of the 60s ,we were not pressured by the media with the glitter and gold , which is a problem with this generation But I do understand, as Africa has alot of cheap labour I don't mind spending 6 weeks in the Caribbean, but for me , the mentally is different to what I have now , and I start missing England as I like the freedom of disappearing in the crowds and going in and out of shops , but in the Caribbean, we don't have cheap labour and everyone don't mind their business.
Hi. Darling; you cannot have you cake and eat it all. You either stay here and integrate into the system or you go back home and integrate there. You haven't done bad for yourself in the UK and still young enough to build a decent home in Nigeria. You set a great path for your kids future. Be happy with what you have and see how you can do more you are still young and achieved a lot. You are too BUSY comparing yourself to others and you are quite negative about UK
I appreciate your advice and was wondering the same. Without you’re advice, I would be going blind into the future. I will put even more effort into my exit strategy
I think you are looking at life back home through rose tinted glasses, if it's so great, why are so many Africans selling their homes, cars and other assets to come to the UK to work as carers? Y es the UK is tough for immigrants but at least you have the basic necessities of life here, what is there to go back home to? You talk about your friends having such a great life back home, what is great about living in a country where you don't have access to proper health care , electricity, running water, affordable food and accommodation? And if we are talking about Nigeria, which I believe is where you're from don't get me started on the lack of security and overall substandard quality of life for most people over there. I'm not sure what you expected from the UK but I want to ask you a question, if you had remained in Nigeria do you seriously believe your life would have been better? I don't think it would have been hence your decision to remain in the UK for so long. I think you need to stop feeling so entitled and learn to be content and grateful for what you have. You have to remember that at the end of the day the UK does not owe you anything, your home country has let you down and forced you to seek so called greener pastures in a country where you will always be regarded as an outsider, so if you need to apportion blame you need to be blaming your home country as they have failed to provide you with the life and lifestyle you desire not the UK.
Okay the decision of uninformed Africans trapped in a neo colonial slave mentality has become a standard and model. Can you listen to the reality from a person who has lived in the system for 20 years?
My sister you're not alone i was born raised in Haiti 🇭🇹 came to the U.S. at a young age im very unhappy here I hate it here each time I go home and when it's time to return I purposely will get to the airport late just to stay a extra day now my husband and I are working on returning home we from the country not the city where the us 🇺🇸 hold hostage
I am glad i left UK a week after writing my last exam, no regrets at all. Also 41 and no debt, built my houses from scratch, much much bigger than the houses I lived in UK. Managed to become self employed at 37.
I left after my dissertation. I am working now. I no longer get anxious about meeting up with bills. I am able to live a cheap life and pay into my Investment account. I'm able to start a business and own property. I will be financially free during my lifetime.
You've done well. I relocated 15 months ago- no regrets. Loving it.
@josh3221ify wonderful! That's glad to hear. What is your business in, if you don't mind me asking? Love the fact you went back x
@@shieyawe3691 inspiring
where did you relocate to?
When I was young it was everyone dream to get a UK visa. But now that I have been in UK for 30 years, I can see that everyone who stayed at home is generally better off than those who went abroad. Because most of us only considered the financial aspect. But so many other things make life in Africa better than in Europe.
No. They aren’t better off. Money is needed EVERYWHERE you go. But go and ask them there. They will disagree and are always asking for money. When you go there, you are living off British currency that’s why you think it’s better. Go there. Live on that currency. Then you will quickly remember why everyone wanted to come to the UK/ the west to begin with. It’s because you’ve now got it, that why you probably don’t appreciate it. On another note… I’m saying this as a British citizen who was born here (my mother got here through marriage to my father who is British). Im speaking from the lense of a citizen. I don’t know what it’s like for immigrants. Maybe it’s harder. Who knows.
@gani2an1 you are right that lots of people back home are better off than those who move abroad. Same thing in the caribbean
@gailainsley6939No not true. I have lived there a few years too, they have a much better family and social orientation than we in the diaspora. Money isn’t everything.
@gailainsley6939It's because you didn't have to struggle like immigrant immigrants face a lot to survive
The ones I know that move back to Nigeria from United States are doing well. I am joining them
Pretty soon❤
Things new immigrants don’t realise about abroad
The loneliness, lack of community, no relatives , no events or parties and difficulty finding a marriage mate because everyone is chasing pounds
I now understand how some people actually die on their own in their house and nobody notices for months or years
@daliaa5294 I couldn't put it any better. Lease, of life and relationships, are a big part of being happy and productive. I have faced this loneliness enough times
Absolutely 💯 well said.
Terrifying.
This is very true 👍
@@ritzrn630Lucky you
The UK IS NOT AN EASY PLACE TO BE AT ALL, THE LONELINESS IS NOT EASY, PEOPLE DON'T CARE THEY ONLY CARE ABOUT £, AND THE MATERIAL THINGS THEY OWN GOD HAVE MERCY IT IS WELL MAYBE GOD HAVE A DIFFERENT PLAN FOR YOU
I am second gen British but my parents went back home and my life is different. I have paid off my mortgage, our children are well brought up, we have four, no debts. Hope this encourages someone . It’s not all doom and gloom in England. I have other challenges that no one will want to take on, but England is not one of my problems. All the best, it gets better, to be fair those back home have issues as well. My parents never wanted to live here and my siblings are British but live in Nigeria. Our kids are well grounded and we have testimonies to that. They have the teachings of Christ and thank God they have kept to it. All the best.
@deelawyer6638 well done, your foundations were built very solid with the right orientation 👏🏿
Well said ,as Indian I too approve this comment,when we back home it is the same because people mind their own business not much socialising as earlier days in my experience.make sure you have PR here before think to move back ,sometimes it may not work out back home.so always have second plan❤
I totally agree with your comments. Going back home is alright if you are a home owner here, and you can sell up. However if you are a pensioner, living abroad, is not always easy, Health care, cost money abroad. The heat, the economy, the people you knew when you were young back home, are not the same. Crime in Jamaica is terrible. So please be mindful of your decision to rush back home. England isn't a bed of roses, but at least you know it. Think twice, and think again. Too many returned residents have been killed in Jamaica. 😢😮
Second génération will hardly have it as tough. Somebody paid the price. I am not saying there aren't positive first génération stories. Just highlighting the fact that this conversation is really about first génération immigrants and their struggles.
I am a citizen but I took my eldest back to Africa for two years. Since I bought her back here, her mental health has declined. She misses the community style of living and the loneliness is overwhelming. The quality of life is so low here. I plan to move back for good this year. The UK is a place to survive not thrive.
@yvie9627 indeed a place to survive not thrive. Good luck and hope your daughter feels happy once you go back.
I ve learnt never to compare myself against anyone and society s standards. Life is material. We are not taking any of our possessions and or accolades with us when we pass on. Don t sweat the small stuff. Hugs❤
You have cracked the code.
As much as I want and aspire for more, I don't compare myself with others.
All fingers are NOT going to be ever equal for a reason.
I have Christ and He provides and that's all that matters to me.
Not judging her for wanting or aspiring for more.
Each to their own.
When you are on your death bed, none of these things would matter.
Live your OWN life and be happy with what you currently have available ❤❤❤
Soooo True!!!!!❤
Comparison is the thief of joy,and the main cause of depression and stress.I remind myself of this every day.
@@maggien222absolutely correct 👍🏾 she is just comparing herself with the people back home and that will lead nowhere. People in Africa have their own problems and struggles like health and security and corruption
You are not a loser my sister…
20 years in uk this year. Cleaned dishes at a restaurant in evenings and worked toilet attendant in a night club 3 nights a week for 3.5 years while studying and then sitting and passing some 14 tough accounting exams. No big regrets, did what i had to do and satisfied with where am.
@OG-dp1kx own your story! I love your dedication in acquiring your accounting exams.
Please I hope you see this message.
I am also studying accounting and about to leave for my masters to Denmark. Can you PLEASE give me a pathway and an advice on what to do and how you excelled in the field.
@@god7418where are you currently? Accounting qualifications is super important. Find out what the qualifications recognised in that country. Also find out what the requirements to get a work visa.
Let me know if you want to talk about it. I am an accountant myself but not in Denmark
@@odunadeyt I recently just completed my residence and work permit as a student application and would be leaving this month ending
This is the most honest, educative, insightful video I have ever watched on UA-cam! Thank you for sharing. Please know that, you’re not alone in this! Most African immigrants are facing the same dilemma. My mantra is: Better be where your soul is at peace, than where you’re a slave, especially to a system. I’m packing my stuff now and ending this circus one and for all!
Good decision.
Well said.....all the best in your return journey!!
@@johnaxe4real wow all the best with your return pursuits. Please don't forget to share with us 🙏🏾
God, you've saved yourself from further mental health damages in this crazy place.
I'm an American living in Lagos, Nigeria. It's a much better life here in so many ways.
Awww very nice to hear. I am so glad you find home in Lagos 🎉
Enjoy!
How about safety?
It's my wish to visit lagos someday
Hi Sister
Thanks for sharing ur experience. Rest assured you are not alone and some like me are in even worst situation. Now am seriously thinking of selling my flat and giving the bank what I owe and take the equity left and RUN ASAP to start afresh and am 61 right now. GOD BLESS YOU
@geoffreyapenya551 sounds like a very good plan. Please just be mindful when you return home to ensure no one tries to take advantage. Please share your success story and outcome x
@LulusDiaries-b6i On returning home I think I will be a lot wiser as my kindness to my people played a part in my failure here. We need to accept that there're things we can't CHANGE and those you can ie MINDSET. Is like trying telling kids to avoid the mistakes you yourself made while growing up. They don't get it! My return will be about DAMAGE LIMITATION AND SURVIVAL . We CANNOT possibly continue like this surely...! It's criminal not to react... I will be in touch. God bless.
@geoffreya... Yes Run asap whilst still have LIFE in U! even if hav 2 Live in Tent! I'm born Enslaved (until UK Gov De-Naturalize Us All) U must hav sn Brit riots; how indigen ous Live?🤔Yr Expctatns Way Off. U livin@ perc cieved highr status alredy U Need sum Money most importnt is Healthymind know God🤴🏿&Fam🌅🏕!
@geoffreya... Yes Run asap whilst still have LIFE in U! even if hav 2 Live in Tent! I'm born Enslaved (until UK Gov De-Naturalize Us All) U must hav sn Brit riots; how indigen ous Live?🤔Yr Expctatns Way Off. U livin@ perc cieved highr status alredy U Need sum Money most importnt is Healthymind know God🤴🏿&Fam🌅🏕!
@geoffreya... Yes Run asap whilst still have LIFE in U! even if hav 2 Live in Tent! I'm born Enslaved (until UK Gov De-Naturalize Us All) U must hav sn Brit riots; how indigen ous Live?🤔Yr Expctatns Way Off. U livin@ perc cieved highr status alredy U Need sum Money most importnt is Healthymind know God🤴🏿&Fam🌅🏕!
I've lived in America for over 20 years and I can relate to much of what you're saying. I've never really considered settling in my country Kenyan. Although I don't feel at home here, I don't want to return to a dysfunctional government, dysfunctional Healthcare system, corruption and watching so my people suffer since they can't find work. Until our countries change and become tolerable, I'm afraid our people will continue to look for a way out. Most of my siblings and my parents died because they couldn't get good Healthcare, even if they could afford it. The hospitals are understaffed, the medical professionals aren't given the right equipment and they're underpaid. No one can get good service under those conditions
@@mercyk2672 I believe your concerns are legit and shared by many
It takes alot of courage to be this vulnerable. Living in Germany ten years now, turning 40 this year and i can relate to how you feel from relocating with alot of ambition, getting a child and having no support, your children's home being this foreign land that you feel disconnected to. Longing for home but seeing no future there in the short time and and and..... A real dilemma
I'm born in the UK yet find your video very relatable. I had a highly successful business here until 3ovid & brexit destroyed everything. Now I'm 41 an feeling like a complete loser with zero motivation.
I can wake up ready to take on the world but stepping outside into the grey,dull,wet & cold climate here is so depressing. Let alone the cost just to survive.
I've just applied for a skilled work visa and will be finally leaving the UK in April. 🎉
Good luck with your next move. Great video ❤
So sorry :( please keep going! I pray things get better!
@Jamie-lu2of wow so relatable our stories. Thanks for watching and good luck with your next move!
@Jamie-lu2of sis, im in the same situation. Im fighting hard
Born in UK? applied skilled worker visa? Leaving the UK? These don’t make sense
@chinedunedosa8925 Not sure what you're confused about. After the closure of my retail business I returned to construction as I'm a Bricklayer by trade. There's multiple countries that are crying out for trades. An although the day rate / price is similar, I lose alot of days here due to the bad weather.
I feel you , I’ve been in the uk for 4 years now and I know if I get a mortgage and start a family am stuck here so am renting and my plan is to go back home in 3 years because I’ve realised that’s where my heart is
Very wise and interesting decision. What about your source of income or career after moving back?
There's nothing wrong in getting a mortgage, it's not a trap. You can rent out and use your rent to pay up your Mortgage,you can also even make extra money for yourself while it's on rent if you decide to relocate. As for Family, you can relocate with your family. It's not a trap
@@dubemezumba6365mind your business. Ppl are selling their homes all across the UK. It is not a wise time to buy a property in the UK due to a variety of reasons and there's no guarantee that renters will countinue paying high rent, especially as companies continue laying off staff. Also, mortgage prison (look it up) is a real thing. Do your due diligence before pouring money into thia system.
A very wise decision.
@@LulusDiaries-b6i dear sister don’t give up. See UA-cam as an opportunity to make some money and if you have documents try by everything necessary to buy land and go build at least just 2 apartments of 2 rooms in your country. That is the best life insurance for your self and you and your family will never lack. Africa is our only hope, Europes economy is living on borrowed time 🕰️ trust me sister. It shall be well don’t give up, God bless you and your family
The issue is that us Africans view a job as the way to success. Unless you are a lawyer, doctor etc., a job isn’t the way - entrepreneurship is. The moment there is less demand for your skills, you will find a depression in wages and unemployment. Entrepreneurs are better equipped to adapt.
@AJ_GH very true, we need to raise children with entrepreneurship in mind
As an african born lawyer- there is no money there either
Not everyone is born to be an entrepreneur though.
Thank you for this. This is confirmation for me. Literally quit my job last night after being here in the uk for 3 years. I Literally cannot go another month in this place. This is NOT life. This is NOT living. Thank you for making this video.
@@momonaturale awww good on you for making such a brave move. Please share your progress with us on your new life
You have to pay your dues, before the next stage. I hope you are not lazying out.
Fix up & get yourself together.
And don't emotionally quit.
For me as well. 5 years in Canada. I feel like i’ve been scammed. I planning to leave as soon as possible.
Moving abroad is never a walk in the park, it involves a lot of sacrifices and hardwork, if you’re not ready to pay the price then don’t leave Nigeria. Going back to Nigeria also needs you to make a out a plan, make sure you have something to fall back on to avoid any form of regret.
@@louisubebe9011 I am Nigerian, in my twenties and never knew my parents growing up. I own my business in the FCT and looking to hire more staff and expand to another bigger location.
This 'abroad' you people speak about is a *scam* ! Been all lied to and sucked into a form of modern day servitude to a country that doesn't and would never acknowledge or accept you, while waste there.
If I can put my leg in and say today I am happy, very happy in Nigeria and would never immigrate (even with the background I was born into) so can a majority of you who fall for the illusive scam.
Give your best to your country in Africa, even if it means sacrifices.
Sis, I really feel you. This resonate with me, I came to the UK at around the same time as you and my circumstances are just similar to yours at 43yrs of age feeling like a complete waste of my youth.
Life is a mystery! Life is spiritual! People that succeed in life in most part will attribute their success to their efforts. When I look back on my personal decisions over these years, I think I made the right decisions but the income is not proportional to those decisions. Life is not always “ garbage in, garbage out”. Life is a mystery and spiritual. After living in the US for 16 years now I can attest to this that there are so many variables we can’t account for.
True talk i agree! Good luck
Variables we can’t account for … so true
Hmmmmm! So many variables! But GOD is with you.
I am a 40 year old female from Africa living abroad. I lived 20 years in Africa and it's been 20 years abroad. I have good job and love my life but I will say the dream for me is a remote job that's allows me to work from anywhere. Or runnable successful business where I can go solo so I can live 6 months back home, 6 months abroad. It doesnt have to be evenly split like that but just having the flexibility to be in either place whenever.
To live back home I'd need a really good job because life back home is expensive, we use USD. Our economy is in shambles and the government cannot provide basic services like water and electricity so for sure I'd need a solar system, a generator, a borehole linked to the property's water pipes, wi-fi, cable and tight security.
You have just outlined my life plan by the special grace of God!!! 🙏🏾
Unfortunately it is hard to have it both way. One has got to choose. And I for one has chosen to stay in the west. At least until after retirement.
You must be from Zimbabwe or Nigeria
I like you path and mentality
Don't you lose that momentum!
@@newafricanforumYou are a quitter. Your comfort zone has won.
This is an honest story from our wonderful lady. It's unfortunate that Africans especially Nigerians who God bless their lands will have to be trapped in what i call ' comfort prison' abroad. Yes there's comfort but no freedom. We all should join hands to build this God given beautiful continent.
@@bolasalak7360 agreed 👍🏿
Learning to count our blessings makes us thankful and less complaining.
You have a husband, 4 children, roof over your head, good health,a career infact you are better off than 80% of your pairs.
You should be grateful.
exactly
Literally. She comes off as so ungrateful. She has everything so many people want. Im 25 and want to start a family so badly, I would love to have a family and house like she has and be finished university ! It’s like when celebrities complain about their lives because “everyone has it hard in their own way” my god just be grateful
You guys are missing it....she isn't ungrateful but in a situation she regrets which is not living in her mother land. You won't understand until you are in her shoes. So please quit judging
@@sylviculture you assumed that I’ve never been in her shoes and you know nothing about me. I’m currently in the uk, I left my home country as well so you can zip it
I think I like your point. Not being judgemental, but can this lady also tell us how many of her so called mates that she is comparing herself with that have departed this earth?
How many are way lower than her?
How can she tell that one of those times she was ill in the UK and she was given the right treatment, she would have survived it in Nigeria?
Also one thing I think is a bit deceptive for people who have gotten their indefinite leave to remain and talk about being better off if they had been in Nigeria, they are not the same as those they are trying to lecture/ hailing them, if this lady does go back and for example there is war, pandemic etc, she is not on the same level as other people hailing her. The UK government will send a plane to take all her citizens, including her.
Let's learn to count our blessings.
What structure did she have when she was here?
Who were her advisors?
There are many success stories here, from nothing to owning business empires, so every ones line is different, like I said most importantly, who were her advisors?
42 year old and relatively new immigrant in Canada here. Sister, I feel you in the deep of my soul. ❤
I don't believe you
awww i'm 22, and studying in Germany- also as an international student and this might not mean anything but please don't feel so low of yourself. You are not a Loser! sometimes you might feel you haven't done much with your life, but if you look back you've come quite far. the grass always seems greener on the other side, but like someone else in the comments said, there is no sweet spot.
@FeseMbile very wise words from a 22 year old. I wish you the best too x
Yes, absolutely very wise statement from a 22 year old. I am so proud of you.
But son/ daughter, she's wasn't saying she's a loser in terms of economic and material things.
She got it all but she isn't happy and fulfilled in the system she's living.
The notion that life beings at 40 is just a myth,the key is to be content at whatever age we are and keep striving and doing our best with whatever we have on our plate.🙏🏾Mashalla --watch Leana Deeb on getting inspired!
I feel your struggle sis. I'm in the same boat as you. I was never interested in emigrating from my home country Nigeria in my early life till late 20s when life in Nigeria became difficult and hopeless. Decided to travel out 12years ago, moved to UAE then to Canada 10 years ago. Worked hard, became Canadian citizen and fairly successful. But, there's always that feeling that I don't belong here for various reasons including the cold climate, high cost of living and discrimination. So I'm stuck in this bubble of life for now. In regards to your mortgage, do you know you can always sell your house? It can be difficult to do but it's possible.
Thanks for your input, well noted and hope you find your happy place too x
The GOD of heaven will guide you and fill every void in your heart and life in JESUS name. You will not be stuck in JESUS name. Be bold and do what is necessary for your peace and progress. Shalom!
i hear you .. i dey canada .. me to commot niaja back in 91 .. ( i moved because my papa get job as professor for here )
i went back to naija for the first time back in nov 2024 .. and i was really feeling and resonating with wetin our sister talk for this video ..
we left paradise.. to come live in this god forsaken cold places.. the food no good, weather is nonsense .. and dem even dey under-pay us and racial abuse us and our pikins with impunity ..
we need to collectively do what we can to make our homeland better.. so we can stay .. i am planing my exiit .. I don tire for oyinbo land ..
i will rather be home anyday .. and i am moving back as soon as possible..
Also we need to tell the truth about the realities of japa life .. Most folks lie and gloss over the hardships //
and also i find that many folks back home dont want to hear that things are hard here.. they think we are lying to them. so we can keep all the money and gold to ourselves.. lol
meanwhile i see so many foreign folks. moving to niaja to make a good life and live better than they could live in their own countries. in our soil ..
we are like a fine girl or boy in school .. who is also brilliant .. but somehow a bully has convinced us that we are ugly and no get sense ..
there is nothing.. i repeat nothing.. that any of us should be doing outside of our homeland .. We have everything .. but we have been brainwashed to believe that paradise is in oyinbo land ..
people wey no go do simple jobs for niaja. wey go pay descent money .. go gleefully come clean knash for oyinbo land ..
Can you share how some of the family and friends you left behind are faring on? I am sure you will have one or two who are better than you today.
I understand what you’re saying as I’m in the same position. For me life is about choices and sacrifices. I’ve made decisions and sacrifices I can live with and I only focus on what I can control.
As you said there’s a system to the UK and you must learn it as soon as possible and also teach your children it too. I share my highs and lows with my children so they understand the sacrifices being made. I also incorporate as much as possible my culture into my life and that of the children so they remember where they come from and don’t get lost in the system here.
I work in a field that I believe is wide and you can easily transfer the skills to other fields. I purposely chose to do this having first went down a narrow career path. I regularly have this conversation with people about them choosing carefully what field you go down as if it’s too niche, and you then limit your future ability to pivot if needed.
I have a few friends who have gone back home in their 50s having worked hard in the UK. You need to plan ahead and know what you want. Both of them had mortgages and children here. One person turned their mortgage to buy to let and rented out the house, their children are adults now so are doing their own thing. The other one does 6 months at home and 6 months in the UK. I plan to retire as early as I can (currently in my 40s) and move back to Africa or another country South of the Equator. My current ties to the UK will not hold me down as a slave, I will adapt and change as needed.
You need to have a plan for your life but also enjoy your current life wherever you are in the world. E.g. Do you take time out to travel, go for a spa day, learn a new skill, have a hobby, volunteering etc. The more you experience different kinds of living the more you learn. It’s your life so get planning!
Best comment 🎉
I couldn't agree with you more and I share your thoughts, like you say choices lead to consequences and sacrifices.
I can work in most countries but it can only happen in a couple of years due to ties with my kids here in the UK.
I travel a lot and try to enjoy my current life but it dawned on me recently that I need to do things intentionally for my future.
Thanks once more let's stay in touch x
Travelling looks all good but it's the foundation of imprisoning yourself. The money you'll use for travels can help you buy properties in Nigeria or run other businesses. Have your business running so you never have to tie yourself to a country that you're regarded as immigrant and can take away your citizenship.
Make money & travel for vacation there not as a home.
Which field/ area do you work in ?
Thanks so much for sharing. This is the narrative of most of us. May God guide us to the right direction 🙏
@@paulineasumah3019 🙏🏾thanks for watching
Your not a loser,as fas as there is life,there is hope😢, sometimes we feel lost, for real 😥
You have great values and work ethic. I’m from London and feel the same as you and I was born here. Change mindset and be positive, god will look after you.
@@The_Northern_one thanks loads, very appreciated x
This is exactly what I’ve been talking about for years. I’ve been in the states for almost 16 years after leaving Italy with my family. My family look at me crazy when I tell them I’m leaving the states to move back home.
Jeez😢
Hmmmm! GOD will help you. Please, do not break down. You are a fighter. So, fight for the life you want. A stranger in Nigeria loves you. Cheers.
@Adebuea I can imagine! The expectations from our dearest makes things even harder and we do things to please others
@@LulusDiaries-b6i I know right. Unrealistic expectations as if we ourselves don’t have a life.
This is quite relatable, I have also spent 20 years in the UK and Ireland combined but lucky to have made some investment in properties in Lagos and also lucky not to have tied myself to an expensive mortgage in the UK which I feel is a trap. I think getting education and experience is key to take back home. I just got back from a family holiday in Nigeria and the kids love it to bits. It’s important to work out an exit plan for oneself, it will take a lot of patience and sacrifices but it’s better. After having a property that gives yearly income, I’m working on another project currently. There’s so much to do in Nigeria, what you need is to be determined and to be resilient. If you can survive in the UK then you can do well in Nigeria if you maintain the same standard in whatever you do. It’s always better to live a life of purpose than to live a life of survival. Africa needs us to bring in positive changes from our experiences from the diaspora.
There no sweet spot....
I moved back home ......
U need to get a pen& biro , calculate ur life abroad( income & expenses).... do the same for back home for a managable life.
I was a cemap mortgage qualified adviser in the Uk at 27 in year 2005....so i could see how much clients would pay in the long run.
I had some famly issues around the credit crunch period so moved home as an only son....
I must admit i miss my potential UK income.....but i dont miss that cold gloomy weather. I manage a small biz and live on a budget..
Moved into mycompleted house 2 years ago, its not in the choicest area but if my funds permit. I will try and build another in a fancy area😂..
I wish i was into something like I.T where u can work from anywhere but im not.
Im 46 now...we all have issues tho some people wont tell u. Thanks for sharing your content
@tigerlanzo8641 thanks for sharing your journey so far. I picked on something you said, wishing you were in tech (it's not too late to switch). 46 is young, all the best
Hello, may I speak to you on the mortgage cemap qualifications
I am 50 and as an adult have worked professional jobs and started businesses both in the US, and in africa at different times of my life, so take this advise from me -No one has it all figured out not even the ones who seem to have everything working perfectly in their favor. Life is a continuous journey, and as humans, we must keep moving forward, no matter the challenges. Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small, and take pride in how far you've come. At the same time, keep striving for more, knowing that growth is a process. The key is to balance gratitude for what you've accomplished with the drive to keep pushing toward your goals.Nowhere is perfect, and life remains a mystery. Some thrive back home, while others find success abroad. No matter where you are, the reality is that bills still need to be paid. Over time, I've come to the realization that the key is to do your best wherever you find yourself. If things don't work out, don't be afraid to pivot and try something else. It's far better to try, stumble, and rise again than to live with the heavy weight of regret for never trying at all. Life is about learning, adapting, and making the most of every opportunity-one step at a time. Love and light
@@onlinemoneyhub8513 Howdy....
You can send ur whatsapp/ email?
@twcc9853 This is a Golden priceless summary from you.
Where r u based now pls & what part of africa have u tried/done biz?
A lot of facts shared, I really don't believe there is right or wrong but staying abroad as an Afican as a retiree is so hard. I can't wait to hear success stories. Thanks again gorgeous
Interesting. Why is it hard?
I have just watched a YT video, think it’s called ‘the introvert nook’, the lady was talking about retiring into loneliness.
I can relate to facing a dilemma about relocating to Africa or staying here to bond with grandchildren!
@africanwomanvibes that's indeed a dilemma which hopefully one day we can crack the best way forward
Coming back home means getting off the high horse you got on in the west. Fact is that we all fai to remember that colonial powers had slave labour to build the foundation for the "good life" we enjoy while out there. This "good life" is still bait thst gets us to volunteer as modern day slaves. We don't want to put in the work required and we don't have access to slave labour. Folks get reach off us by feeding off our perceived need for stuff we really don't need. I think you have to examine yourself to determine what's important to you. Sometimes we need to strip ourselves of the "keeping up with the neighbor" syndrome to find our individual paces in life. My needs include a roof over my head, good education for my kids (good quality doesn't necessarily mean expensive), a vocation I can live on with my family and find fulfillment in. Any other thing is secondary. Visit the average village in Africa and you'll see how many people live on much less than you'd consider "worthy" of you.
Couldnt have said it any better. You hit it right on the nail. This is the real problem Africans especially have. they forget these basics. Life at your own pace. Dignity for your humanity.
@@akinwumiakindahunsi7254 very wise words indeed! I echo your thoughts
I agree with , the balance is to find what will fulfil you from within, not from societal norms
I'm a Brirish citizen. The UK has some amazing places to visit and live, but the 6 month winters where it gets dark at 4pm kill me! I'm also 32 and have no house. Probably would never be able to buy one on my salary independently. IDK where my life is going tbh 😂 but I feel you ❤❤❤❤❤
@koroshiya_1 bless you darling it's tough in the winter
Ive lived here in the UK for 15 year, 10 of which i had no documents. It is tough. However, the right financial decisions will make the UK worth the inital hardship. I have now investment in property back home rather than taking a loan in the UK and ripping the benefit. I will retire back home in my 40's with no debt, living off my investment. I have one child, still young enough to join me. I wish you the very best for the future 🙏
@@MicahPhillip thanks and good luck 👍🏿
I used to think that till I retired still in my working age and went back to my country of origin. I have all the good things such as houses etc but after 6 months, I returned to the US. You have to confront substandard healthcare, rigid bureaucracy, insecurity, and also a culture you once knew but is now foreign.
I can understand you fully, finding the right circumstances is tough
I think you need a plan before you even go and work abroad. Many of us go and then end up in the matrix. No exit plan and continue on the treadmill till old, tired and washed up. Yes you can make money but people never take into account that you need somewhere to live, food transportation electricity, water etc. So many expenses that eat into the wages that you get. Hopefully you can get out soon. Good luck
@brendafrancis894 thanks, so true! Hopefully we all find a positive exit soon
I think sob stories like this also go viral hence why i saw it, i dislike the weather here, the rest is good living although our fellow immigrants have turned some of the country into a shithole, go to Eastham in London, every train has fare dodgers, hopefully the money being saved is being reinvested back home properly and not just embezzled by relatives, you can build a good mansion back home, set up some rental properties and retire back home at 60 with pension and rental income, am 33 and will be somewhere sunny when am 60 hopefully healthy enough and comfortable, i will hopefully have only one child or 2 atmost So Help me god, ive been in a position without papers and still wouldnt go back to the dysfunctional country i came from
@jakelister5152 I think our countries have a major part to play in the immigrant struggles wanting to relocate abroad in search of so called greener pastures
You miss a part of her lament.. do you want to live this rigged immigrant life only to go and “enjoy” your 60s when you’re becoming frail?
Have you considered writing a book? If you, or any others reading this comment with similar experiences feel called to, please write about it. Not enough are writing their stories. As you may already know the classic book Second-Class Citizen by Buchi Emecheta. Your story and experiences are valuable. ❤️
Thanks, haven't really thought about it but it does seem like a good suggestion, thank you x
Totally agree
This is so real, even for those not overseas or abroad but those who work in cities far from home. Its best to get land and build a beautiful humble home without stairs at home. A place that does not require monthly payments. Go home often and acclamatise your children to your home. Abroad is no place for an african pensioner. The environment is not condusive at all.
Just saw your video from the recommended section. I think Africans in the diaspora who want to return should have some entrepreneural drive to them because such qualities are rewarded in many African countries. I couldn't help but notice how you kept mentioning the need to look for a job once you return? Why not create something with the pounds/dollars/Euros made that side?
I say this because the biggest reason many leave the continent is to seek better work opportunities abroad. I many also be naive on this because I'm self employed and am always looking for ways to make money. The ease at which it is to hustle here suits my style better. As corrupt and inefficient as many of our governments are, the fact that I can just start a business today and get it going is something I love about living in Africa. My currency is not as powerful as western countries and I have to apply for visas to visit there, but I live in a big house and can afford to have someone else come and clean it, take care of my pool and garden, etc. Something that is a luxury in western countries.
Thank you for sharing . I'm an immigrant now a us citizen living in USA but I'm planning to back home. and I came to realise the fact that 99% of immigrant are facing the same situation. Some try to hide it on social media but they complaining behind door. Getting away is possible but it will required ressources and sacrfice . I know many couples who sold their cars and houses with morgage and they went back to africa with their kids to launch a local business. The only thing that belong to immigrant is the knowledge and skills they have learned in school.
@@wanamaker777 nice perspective
I want to move back to Nigeria with my children. The oldest is 15 years old. I have been taking to my children about relocation to. Nigeria. Initially they were resistant but now they are excited to move to Nigeria. We have started investing in Nigeria to build up wealth and to be be able to start a business so that we can give my children the standard of living in nigeria as in Uk. This is my 17 years in Europe and I believe that there is better quality of life in nigeria if you are in the middle class than in Europe. I have money but no enjoyments. I have got good clothes but no where to wear them to except church. But in Nigeria there is always parties man is a social being , I need to socialize and enjoy myself.
Well said, Sis 👍 I am running 🏃♀️🏃♀️ as fast as I can to Abuja.
Anyone thinking of starting a business in Africa, please plan very very well. Remember that the purchasing power of Africans here is very low. Please keep that in mind.
Bravo. This is the most insightful of the immigrant videos I have watched all my time online.
When Africans learn to live at their own pace and reduce or forget the my neighbour is this or that syndrome, They will have rest and closure. Africa is beautiful and like this lady has said... What do you want to see at the end....
Thanks for your input
I came here as a kid with parents and never feel at home snd wanting to leave ever since. Relationships, job opportunities and even thinking about getting a home are not worth it here.
I feel you left home very early. Sincerely, there are people who has worked for 35years back home and right now in their old age they are unable to access their pension, there children have no jobs after graduation and they are so frustrated.
Have you been robbed before?
Ok, i have experienced robbery attack with guns in my home.
Have been arrested for giving an opinion?
Ok, ask questions on how politicians deal with their subjects.
My cousin died in the military for defending his country. Him and his team were sold out by their superior authority.
My dear, i strongly believe you can still have a side hustle that'll keep you running while you patiently live your life in a way to enjoying it.
Life is all about perspectives.
Thank you
Thank you for highlighting this. I think majority of them have little idea of what is going on at home. Some just come during festive periods and feel like home is very perfect, but there's more to living at home. Majority of the people at home are frustrated and want to travel out and while the people abroad want to move back home permanently.
I read about a woman that moved back home from the UK after her retirement only to relocate back to the UK again just after 6 months.
I hope all these people really make out time and come visit home and stay for like 6 months before deciding on moving back home permanently.
The rising unemployment rates and corruption back home is really disheartening. It's like everything is not working, not to talk about how cold and mischievous many people are here.
As Africans, we've turned traveling abroad for work or study into a trend or status symbol. Initially, we left as economic migrants, which I view as a modern form of slavery designed to seem appealing but ultimately harmful in the long run. I'm really impressed with her for sharing her life experience. Many will gain valuable insights from her story, although some might believe it won't affect them the same way. Only time will tell. Honestly, after studying abroad, the ideal action is to return home, but making that decision is tough because so many back home aspire to be where you are. Only a few understand this and choose not to go abroad due to their fear of the unknown. Thank you for sharing your experience with us.
Calling yourself a loser just because you’ve not achieved your goals yet is just wild to me.
Africa huzzle mentality.
Rich or die trying.
I don't feel that you're being empathetic here. Your comment is not nice.
@ Feel free to construct your own comment. You don’t get to dictate to me what words I should use. 🙄
She might be going through serious depression. Don’t blame her. The video might be a form of therapy for her
It was a good video, but a friend said she wished she had what you achieved because she is in her over 40s, came here in her 20 for studies, she achieved her masters but still now she have not received at status in UK still waiting for approval, she has not married yet, just experience betrayal and no children's yet. Sometimes what you have someelse is wishing to have what you have. That's why in life we just have to be grateful what we have
After careful planning, we will soon JAPADA back to 9ja from the United States for semi retirement. Any Pesin wei work for 2 or 3 decades abroad & return to home country, simply means that individual or family are SMART-get Wayo. Enjoying in 9ja while getting Pension, Social Security, 401K and income from investments from abroad na ginger. For us work is going to be 💯% optional. Can do volunteer work! Right now 90% of prep is done & looking forward to it. Will always return for visit❤
@@abdulidi733 sounds like you cracked the code! Would really love to hear your story ..
Im British born black woman. I never understood why people would leave Caribbean and Africa to come here except for money but his money really worth it. Even my own grandparents I don’t understand why they never turned around when they started to experience racism in particular in the 60s. I have warned more and more African People from all over the continent. Don’t come here. Only to be told oh I am trying to prevent them from progressing, I’m jealous. Well here you have it. running to the country where your modern day oppressor and historical oppressor is and where they run the show is mind-boggling to me. I’m not sure what you expected but you got what you came for when you Chase money, this is what happens.
I was used by a cameroonian for papers i was genuinely interested in building with him and did not know people could be so desperate as to marry with no conscience in order to be in their oppressors country the same oppressor who exploits and builds wealth on the exploitation of YOUR resources then traps your country indebt to them .. The only kind of leaders that are allowed to exist in Africa are corrupt ones we all know what the We does to the ones with integrity but why are you people not going home as soon as you can? In order to fix this.
Decolonisation of Africa has never happened psychologically. You were lacking in judgement because you are brainwashed into hating yourselves and seeing Caribbean people (your own people) as less than and white western people and environment as superior to yourselves.Many of you have western mentality of individualism and greed im being honest. , Now you see Europeans running to Africa.The irony.
Thank you for telling your story here my dear I would love to collaborate with you .
Keep your head up.
Not sure why UA-cam recommended this video. I watched through and no doubt your heartfelt experiences what I can say is that in all that is said are gems of opportunities it all depends on attitude and mindset. I wish you all the best as you navigate those challenges.
@StirUpYourPurpose thanks 🙏🏾
Your story touched me, almost brought tears to my eyes. It’s the unspoken hardship…But always keep a clean heart and you will win.
@yvonnedacosta599 Thanks, my dear
Please avoid being so negative. Keep your mind on what is good and just take it one day at a time! There's alot to be grateful for.
There is but also don't forget that these videos are not only a reflection of my status but of several immigrants and they should start the thought process on what we should expect should we choose to stay abroad x
@@LulusDiaries-b6ias a white European woman I've been here in the UK for the last 23 years, and I don't have one single English friend male or female. The immigrants that are accepted into the English set of friends or into English families for friendship and support are in my experience the ones that get married to an English man or of if male to an English woman. This is from my personal experience and what I've observed while living here.
@@LulusDiaries-b6iWe should avoid being negative.We should be positive,focus and purposeful.The reason many immigrants face a lot of problem in diaspora, is due to lack of planning and purpose.We need to understand how the system works.Whether being abroad or at home is relative to an individual person.We need to be at the right place at the right time and maximise opportunities available to us.
False positivity is not helpful.
Suppressing the real emotions - specific the negative emotions - leads to mental issues and stress.
It’s important to be real - and this includes feeling the positive AND negative emotions
@@YambouSVG
Well said 👏
Enlightening. Thank you.💯💖🙏
Thanks for watching x
I know how you feel, I have been in the UK for 21 years, i managed to build a very good house back home with some landed properties and very good business. But still here in the UK. I can't wait to go back home, although i would like to spend some time here during summer.
Hi sister, just watched your video now. Like yourself I came to this country a few years go but from first day it was in my mind to go back home and not spending my retirement in here. I did not go for mortgage as I think its a big commitment. I think the best way to deal with this is to invest where you came from or where you wanna spend the rest of your life.
True but are you sure you are going to go back? Otherwise you might invest in a home you wouldn't spend time in
@@LulusDiaries-b6i
My dear sister, gone are the days when Africa immigrants and specifically in Nigeria built at home and didn't move back to live in it.
They start from spending a few months in the country and gradually up it to half/ half and then final relocation.
The previous generations have less contact with folks at home. Visit every once in a long while. Most have no appetite to move back. Some built those houses because they were shamed into building them by family members.
Some built in their country home (village) and realized later at the time, they're much older, they can't actually retire in those village homes. Retiring in the village is tough enough for those who live within the country. Let alone a person returning from abroad.
This generations is smarter. First, with digital technology they follow every economic development and sociopolitical issues in their countries. They already know what's going on.
Immigrants have realized it's not feasible to retire in the West with the current economic hardship and high inflation. Also, the fear of senior loneliness and ultimate ending in the nursing homes is real. We've seen previous generations struggle with aging here.
We're more calculated. Most people know their plans upon their arrival. Those who wants to go back invest home. Those who wants to stay invest wherever they're.
No one is building in the village anymore, they'll first secure a retirement home in choice neighborhoods in big cities.
Even if circumstances making it impossible to retire at home because of chronic illness they can sell their city homes that has high market values.
People are more intentional now.
It's a different time in the world.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and fears. It draws my mind to the same unanswered questions and thoughts.
For me, my government failed some of us who would have loved to return to our country.
I totally understand you. It seems to be an issue shared by most of us! I hope we can find a good compromise soonest x
Oh keep waiting for the government 😂 You go wait tire. God forbid me letting criminal politicians determine my destiny. Literally planting me where I don't want to be because of their failures.
No, I can't give anyone control over my life.
Life is a struggle, and until the day you die, you will struggle wherever you are. There are advantages staying in Nigeria,
especially with family support.
Reality is . can change in Africa. The Naria value has dropped massively. Inflation has gone up by between 300 to 500%. You get older, and the health care is non-existent.
I have friends who stayed in Nigeria and in their 60s want to come abroad to hussle.
My feeling is that you are trapped in the UK. Just get on with it. The grass is always greener no matter where you are.
Tough pill to swallow but sounds true unfortunately 😕
People only see negativity to justify their self deceit. If you live decades in abroad, you should have some sort of health insurance in that country you could be going back yearly for routine test, imaging and receiving treatment.
Thanks for sharing. Your story hit back home. I can related well, but the difference is that, I have a lot of skills but it can be challenging working using those skills simultenously to create a business or businesses.
@@kudrah thanks for watching, I understand you x
@@LulusDiaries-b6i At least I am following your channel. I will reach out to you in the future about a project if I don't forget and if you would be up for it.
@@kudrahwhat project if you don't mind me asking?
Thank you for starting this honest conversation. immigrants need a space to tell their honest stories.
I love how you referred to moving back home as a "bold step". I know it can be hard in Nigeria but You see, studying in the UK equips you with a unique perspective that can make you very successful in Nigeria where the opportunities are just as endless as the problems.
@shieyawe3691 thanks for the encouragement
But who told you she's a Nigeria?
If you were at your home country chances are that you would have still felt like a failure. Embrace your situation and count your blessings and stopped focusing on the negatives
I hope that every Immigrant that comes into this Country could watch this Video and Free themselves from the Matrix
❤❤❤
I FEEL THE SAME WAY. I HAVE BEEN IN AMERICA FOR 27 YRS. I GOT MY EDUCATION , A HUSBAND & 2 KIDS(15&16YRS OLD). I WILL BE GOING BACK TO ZIMBABWE SOON. I AM EXTREMELY EXHAUSTED MENTALLY & PHYSICALLY.I NEED TO REST.
❤
I moved to America when I was 12, I am now 33. Even as a child it was a dream to travel to America. 20+ years in the US, and I am seriously considering moving back. The cost of living here is ridiculous, I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere, I don't feel like I'm living, I only feel alive when I go home on vacation. I feel like I'm just working to pay bills. My dream of having a house in the US is no more, I just don't want to get into that trap. I have two babies, my husband who is American is absolutely in love with my home country. He would move in a month if I agreed to leave. But sometimes I think maybe it's just a dream, what if it fails. I work for myself and I can still come and work in the US for a month or two and have enough to live back home for a year. My husband is a retired vet, we are now considering to go back because I can't live even another year going in circles, hustling and getting no where.
@nd2663 there is definitely a lot to consider but it sounds positive! All the best 👍🏿
@ thank you ❤️ good luck to you as well 🙏🏾
Please carefully rethink your choices before coming back home. The grasses are not green over here as well, prices of basic commodities are rising everyday, cost of transportation and fuel is crazy. Even cost of education. Having a business isn't rosy as well cos of the purchasing power of people living there. Just be prepared to make extreme sacrifice if you want to come back home.
@ thank you and yes i kept refusing to my husband because i want to make sure i am ready and how i feel about home is not romanticized. I know there are many people living well back home, i dont want to get there and fail, i will take time to make sure I am truly ready financially to go back and be comfortable.
Thank you for being so open and honest about your lived experiences. Never give up Aunty ♥️ also aunty you are not 41. You aren’t a day over 27,28
@GokuKakarot-w4g aww so kind, my body feels different haha x
Don't say she isn't 41,looks are deceptive.
I look 28 as a man but 40 this year.
You just need to be content with wherever you are in life and make the decision to be happy. Sounds like you never really bought into the UK lifestyle, and you wanted ‘Nigerian life’ to be there for you in the UK. The very things you seem to loathe, mortgage, bills and consistent hardwork (aka productivity), are the makings of the developed economies. ‘Easy life’ as it seems in Africa also makes Africa what it is today (not saying there are no people doing well in Africa, but those tend to be exceptions). Stay positive and count your blessings in whatever you decide, otherwise no place on earth is ever going to be good enough for you. One just needs to buckle and do the hardwork and then you will see the results.
I can relate to how you feel. It’s hard to stay motivated when you aren’t happy in the current environment, even if I loved my job I still wouldn’t be happy in this country.
@@justdoit.86yearsago feel you 💯
Let us not be the victims of our circumstances please, we have control. Good plan is the key and never give up. Where there’s a will there’s a way. It’s possible it is possible, think outside the box
Your content was very heart felt. I too am in the UK and have just started my own channel: Daily life in the UK. i have SUBSCRIBED to your channel to show my support. Best wishes. Lottie.
I will check it out😊
Spot on. Thanks for sharing
Thanks for watching x
Hi there, I just left Denmark to start life again in Kenya. I understand completely how you feel which is also why I moved back. There is still time left. Don't lose hope. The first step is realizing that you are not where you want to be (which you have done) and the following is to make steps towards where you would like to be. Focus and work towards what you know you want. And don't compare yourself to those back home...it does not help.
Thanks
Same here in US. We, as first immigrants will never belong. After 30 years, I don’t belong either here or back home in Russia. This is our curse. You were talking about our traps - absolute truth. Education, job that you can’t leave, mortgage, kids don’t want to be ripped out of their homeland 😢. I didn’t even choose to immigrate, my parents did.
I live in Russia and loving it 🥰
I FEEL YOUR PAIN.
I am in the same boat - Mr NOWHERE MAN!!!
@MamaToma265 oh this must be difficult as first generation Migrant kids who didn't make the choice to migrate! All the best 👍🏿
The answer is if you have documents that can help you go back, start the transition by starting a business home, it's difficult but it's will work if you have the system, the technology and supervision, do well to visit at least twice a year if you can, in so doing you need to work for agency to give you that freedom, I don't really know how old your last child is, if he/she is a bit grown you can start the transition.
Without a business you can never be comfortable back home, home is difficult unless you have everyday income coming to you, you can't go and be an employee again. Any business ideas you have please start small, it's not about the money but the understanding of the local people and the local economy. Peace
Take care
Love this, and yes, I am looking seriously at starting a business back home I can monitor from here. Thanks for your advice x
First of all decide where you want to be and plan towards getting there. No place is easy, every where will have its challenges and no matter what the kids will adjust to any new environment. Selling your house might give you the cash boost you need to make a choice about where you want to live next. Theres nothing wrong with renting, if it gives you the flexibility to do more of what you want to do in life, e.g living abroad.
Finally change your mindset, you sound very defeated which makes it more challenging to approach any new goals, see this as an opportunity to design the life you want for you and the kids. Its your life and you can shape it to what you want it to be. Goodluck 😅
Thank you for the video - first and foremost you are NOT a Loser.This has been your journey!Ive been in the Diaspora 30yrs we all have our struggles but Id like to encourage you to focus on on your achievements.Life can end anytime anywhere,simply enjoy your life as best as you can do not look at others!Take art!
You are not a loser. You are an entrepreneur and you are experiencing the nuances in societies that you may not have been fully informed about. These are lessons and should build you, not break you. You are NOT a loser.
The answer is.
The 👠 Ruby slipper.
THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME 😢
In other words. Stand your ground. There is no get rich QUICK SCHEM.
Stay home, stand your ground.
GOD WILL GUIDE YOU... 🌹
Thanks, advice well received 👍🏿
I'm turning 28 in 4 months and still haven't figured out what my goals are so for anyone reading just letting you know that your not alone. 🙏🏾
True confession. You are not alone in this. The only exit plan Africans and Nigerians should have in the Western world is to plan to exit back home. This should start the day you get your NIS number. That you built no house or even have one under construction in the 20years was a huge mistake. 17 years ago building a house anywhere in Nigeria was very cheap for someone in UK, US or Europe. However at 41, you still have time. Start now.
@@saggisok thanks for your advice
Building a house now is no longer cheap. Even buying a good house in a good location, you need at least 100million naira.
The kids have not been done justice.
We scattered our genealogy for self-interest, and self-esteem issues.
The kids barely speak the native tongue. Even the ones in Lagos or Abuja.
The govt may have failed, but parents are the responsible ones of their offsprings, and continue to put the kids in a more confused state.
Good story regardless.
Very brilliant and deep.
I wholeheartedly agree with you.
Thanks for sharing. This country can be A TRAP. I am 62 going to 63 this year. I Started planning EXIT 2018. After a while I was tired and I know I need to move forward. My children are married and I am bored even though I live with my husband.
I started buying land Lands in Acres not plots. I started thinking of living A LIFE, NOT SURVIVING. My husband is very reluctant about it but I had to take my life into my hands.
OWN YOUR LIFE, AND LISTEN TO WHAT GOD IS TELLING YOU. I just bought a flat in African for my Air B and B business. I bought it cash down even though my husband said he did not have money.
Thank you Girl. You have saved my life, I was about to enter the same trap. Thank God the scales have fallen from my eyes and I am going home. God bless you.
❤❤❤❤ all the best dear
This is an eye opener l thank God l decided to sort myself after l turned 50, can’t wait to go home 2030 by God’s Grace👍👌🙏♥️
@mabelmasvaure6796 happy for you, and hopefully, it all goes to plan
Africa has its own struggles too and it’s very shitty
@@randychris5031 if you feel so ok..
This video has made me make up my mind!!! Thank you for sharing.
@nd2663 Thanks for watching, and I'm glad it helped. All the best
You say taking kids home and bringing them when older like our parents did. How will that resolve the issues we’re facing? I think best thing to do is come take what we can and go back home. Home is best
Thanks for sharing your insightful thoughts on this sensitive topic. All your views are spot on especially working to pay bills, not saving enough, children growing up not knowing their culture et al. Honestly I am contemplating of going back home. Indeed our mates are living their best lives back home, they enjoy sunshine, organic food, children enjoy growing up in a community of aunties, uncles, nephews, nieces, there’s always ample help to raise the children. I strongly think that God is telling me to go back home through your video. I have heard other confirmations but your video has hit home. So thank you for opening up & God bless.
Just subscribed!
Are all mates doing well back home for real? Food is organic, but there is scarcity. Poor health outcomes. Infrastructure not adequate. After a few years living abroad, it can seem easy to assume you will beat the odds in Africa and be the top 1% that lives well, but not always the case.
All the best and thanks
very true my sister. We are trapped and it is all a SCAM
Comparison is truly the robber of joy and the grass is always greener on the other side. Happiness is internal, not external. There will always be pros and cons, no matter where you are. For me, the most important thing is access to good healthcare. I lost four loved ones due to poor healthcare back in Africa. When friends back home have to have fundraisers to collect hundreds of thousands of dollars to pay for life-saving operations abroad for their kids, I am thankful, that through the health insurance contributions I pay, I can access the best healthcare. I am thankful for that.
Yah this is a difficult truth for most of us. 21 years in and I realise I should have made my way back . Am now planning my exit . Enough
@spikes2023 good job you have made a start...
Thank you for being so vulnerable.Am 42 ,South African I want to go back home .I feel trapped here ,have been here for over 20 years too ,married,children.The decision to uproot everything to move back is a big ? Mark .You not alone Sis ,I don’t want to retire here definitely and asking God for favour and wisdom.My husband is ready to move and bless him he was born here .He is done with this place.His persuading me now that we should just do it ,sell everything and go
@vjesus4083 wow some very tough decisions to make.
I don't regret it because I managed to make a sacrifice, lived modest, saved money , opened a business, had my children,,travelled the world, bought a home here, and built a home in my country
But I am a child of the 60s ,we were not pressured by the media with the glitter and gold , which is a problem with this generation
But I do understand, as Africa has alot of cheap labour
I don't mind spending 6 weeks in the Caribbean, but for me , the mentally is different to what I have now , and I start missing England as I like the freedom of disappearing in the crowds and going in and out of shops , but in the Caribbean, we don't have cheap labour and everyone don't mind their business.
@@amijack421 interesting. Thanks for watching
Hi. Darling; you cannot have you cake and eat it all. You either stay here and integrate into the system or you go back home and integrate there. You haven't done bad for yourself in the UK and still young enough to build a decent home in Nigeria. You set a great path for your kids future. Be happy with what you have and see how you can do more you are still young and achieved a lot. You are too BUSY comparing yourself to others and you are quite negative about UK
I appreciate your advice and was wondering the same. Without you’re advice, I would be going blind into the future. I will put even more effort into my exit strategy
I am glad it's helped
I think you are looking at life back home through rose tinted glasses, if it's so great, why are so many Africans selling their homes, cars and other assets to come to the UK to work as carers? Y es the UK is tough for immigrants but at least you have the basic necessities of life here, what is there to go back home to? You talk about your friends having such a great life back home, what is great about living in a country where you don't have access to proper health care , electricity, running water, affordable food and accommodation? And if we are talking about Nigeria, which I believe is where you're from don't get me started on the lack of security and overall substandard quality of life for most people over there. I'm not sure what you expected from the UK but I want to ask you a question, if you had remained in Nigeria do you seriously believe your life would have been better? I don't think it would have been hence your decision to remain in the UK for so long. I think you need to stop feeling so entitled and learn to be content and grateful for what you have. You have to remember that at the end of the day the UK does not owe you anything, your home country has let you down and forced you to seek so called greener pastures in a country where you will always be regarded as an outsider, so if you need to apportion blame you need to be blaming your home country as they have failed to provide you with the life and lifestyle you desire not the UK.
Okay the decision of uninformed Africans trapped in a neo colonial slave mentality has become a standard and model.
Can you listen to the reality from a person who has lived in the system for 20 years?
I couldn't have articulated it better. 9ja will do you dirty. Do a trial separation of sorts from the UK, come see how messy things are back here.
My sister you're not alone i was born raised in Haiti 🇭🇹 came to the U.S. at a young age im very unhappy here I hate it here each time I go home and when it's time to return I purposely will get to the airport late just to stay a extra day now my husband and I are working on returning home we from the country not the city where the us 🇺🇸 hold hostage
I feel you, my sister. The US is a nightmare and smart people are living. It can only get worse.
What A TRUE and Very WISE video!! SOOO MUCH VALUABLE INFO!!! This SHOULD BE REQURED VIEWING FOR EVERYONE!!! NOT JUST IMMIGRANTS!!!!❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉🎉😊
@Lyfs-Awsumm aww thanks for watching, and your encouragement. Please share with anyone who will find it helpful x