Stop obsessing over our children's happiness | Abigail Shrier | The Reason Interview

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  • Опубліковано 4 чер 2024
  • Abigail Shrier is author of the best-selling new book Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren't Growing Up. She argues that the mental health of Gen Z-people born between 1997 and 2012-is a mess because an infantilizing therapeutic culture pervades every aspect of their lives.
    0:00- Why do kids have no interest in growing up?
    3:37- Do kids see too many doctors?
    4:10- The difference between adult therapy and child therapy
    7:48- How many children are in therapy?
    9:32- Therapy in K-12 education
    13:00- Who is Elizabeth Loftus?
    16:35- Has every child been traumatized?
    18:05- What is trauma?
    20:33- Who is Viktor Frankl?
    24:20- The redefinition of trauma
    28:20- How to understand what our ancestors experienced?
    30:44- Are we delaying adulthood?
    32:04- What happened to after school jobs?
    34:06- Is social media making kids sad?
    37:02- Why do parents surrender authority to experts?
    42:36- Are we done with the cult of experts?
    48:38- How to be a good parent
    50:16- How to fix mental health at school
    reason.com/podcast/2024/04/10...
    ---
    Shrier stresses that she's not against psychological counseling and help per se, but she believes too many unqualified and misguided people are causing far more problems than they solve.
    Her previous book was the controversial Irreversible Damage, which looked at the rapid rise of girls identifying as transgender. We talk about the roots of today's therapeutic culture, the extent of the problems it causes, and how parents, teachers, and young people themselves might find a better way forward.

КОМЕНТАРІ • 54

  • @agatamars
    @agatamars 25 днів тому +4

    This woman is amazing. So much wisdom, brilliance, knowledge and common sense.

  • @lugnutlarry1764
    @lugnutlarry1764 Місяць тому +4

    Agree 100 percent, my kids happiness was down the list to things like health, safety, a grounded perception of life, education, and basic life skills. My Gen Z kids are both doing great. Both moved out at 18, 6 and 7 years ago.

  • @Sandy-of6gq
    @Sandy-of6gq Місяць тому +6

    I don't necessarily agree with everything she says and I'm not a fan of anecdotes as evidence but I think her overall argument of not being automatically fawning over therapy for everyone and everything is very valid.

  • @The_Infinite_Squirrel
    @The_Infinite_Squirrel Місяць тому +11

    Another great interview. I'll check out the book and discuss it with my therapist next week.

  • @MollyOKami
    @MollyOKami Місяць тому +12

    I have pet mice, animals known for being "nervous wrecks," and I have some of the most bold & happy mice out there because I force them to play & explore away from the safety of their cage. By being weaned into taking chances, they've become quite bold, which gives them a feeling of power over their environment & excites them to explore even further. Granted, I still have to limit where they go to a point, but they're always excited to have a new area exposed to them or even meet new people & animals because they know that I'm keeping an eye on them but not stopping them from trying new things that may make them happy. We need to do this with kids.

  • @MasterPuppets206
    @MasterPuppets206 Місяць тому +4

    Great conversation. As an adult, my inner child needed to hear this too.

  • @meganwilliams4588
    @meganwilliams4588 Місяць тому +1

    My sister had memories “uncovered” from being SA’d as a child when she was 21. We know it didn’t happen due to multiple witnesses present at the time she was claiming.
    She is deeply hurt that none of her family believes her. We know it didn’t happen but in her mind it did. She is truly traumatized by it! She goes to a therapist every week to this very day to manage her trauma.

  • @markhouseholder
    @markhouseholder Місяць тому +7

    Nick is a great interviewer….

    • @52Shinebox
      @52Shinebox Місяць тому +1

      Incredible job by Nick. I watched a bit of Rogan's interview with her and Nick's prep and insights offer so much more to the viewer. You can tell she enjoys it too.

  • @theymightbeuptown882
    @theymightbeuptown882 17 днів тому

    Happiness is largely an adult pursuit. Assimilation and the adoption of values are what K-12s mostly find themselves preoccupied with. It's there that they need the most support. Of course, happy parents and a mostly pleasant, nurturing home base will go a long way in forming what happiness looks like for them when they come of age.

  • @linuxguy1199
    @linuxguy1199 Місяць тому +1

    I think the issues we're seeing today are more to do with opportunistic job security, you mess up the kids, the more therapy they'll need. Same reason dentists recommend fluoride treatments to children who have little to no dental issues, despite it being widely ineffective (due to the fluoride added into water, milk, etc) and very expensive.

  • @TWillige
    @TWillige Місяць тому +1

    It's like Carl and Darryl said about Alexandria. We're weak from lack of adversity. We've grown up in an entitled world that has made generation after generation weaker and weaker.

  • @juancuelloespinosa
    @juancuelloespinosa Місяць тому +4

    18:20 i've totally noticed this with baby cousins of mine

  • @fritzpieper6098
    @fritzpieper6098 Місяць тому

    Best video this year!

  • @GettingSchwiftyy
    @GettingSchwiftyy Місяць тому +1

    I never even considered the idea that therapy might even cause a significant amount of built-in harm. But maybe I had had it, but the memory was removed. 🤔🤔🤔

  • @kmeisenbach1
    @kmeisenbach1 Місяць тому +1

    Great show!
    Thank you.

  • @hanagloriaedelblum5693
    @hanagloriaedelblum5693 Місяць тому

    Becoming your own loving and disciplined parent may be the hardest challenge to overcome in today's permissive world.

  • @IAmInterested-cc4hr
    @IAmInterested-cc4hr 28 днів тому

    Her book applies personal responsibility and our society prefers to see responsibility as external. If you don't like a foreign war sit down and cry to make an institution do something instead of joiningnthe foreign legion.
    Also, if you are medicating and applauding your child for overcoming their adhd "as well as they can" despite them being an abject failure you don't want to read something that says actually lots of people who werent diagnosed are out there with the same problems and outperforming your kid without the special treatment at school.

  • @killingjoke90
    @killingjoke90 Місяць тому

    👌

  • @charlesovenstone2558
    @charlesovenstone2558 Місяць тому +2

    no one can speak for an entire generation.

    • @JasonFrith
      @JasonFrith Місяць тому +2

      Nonsense. She is speaking to observable and measurable trends within a cohort.

    • @TWillige
      @TWillige Місяць тому

      Of course not. Every person is different in their experience, but some things are observable by anyone who is paying attention.

  • @gaystrangeraly7528
    @gaystrangeraly7528 Місяць тому +1

    You don't give insulin to non diabetics. You shouldn't give every kid therapy.

  • @micahkilpatrick9924
    @micahkilpatrick9924 Місяць тому +3

    I'm going to contrive a deep history of trauma to explain away my fat belly. It's not my strict diet of Mountain Dew and pizza that's making me fat. My body is keeping the score. Trauma.

  • @DannyBoy443
    @DannyBoy443 Місяць тому +1

    She isn't 100% right about the adults in therapy. Some adults need more guidance in knowing what IS and IS NOT healthy or worth even talking about or working on.

  • @robert5897
    @robert5897 Місяць тому

    May god bless Nick Gillespie!!!

  • @grawakendream8980
    @grawakendream8980 29 днів тому

    she's completely off-base in her thinking because i have a hunc that her underlying mindset is to excuse ineffective support methods which range from negligence to abuse.

  • @charlesovenstone2558
    @charlesovenstone2558 Місяць тому +1

    she makes some valid points but her thesis is riddled with holes/ it snot truth its like most things opinion.

  • @grawakendream8980
    @grawakendream8980 Місяць тому +1

    she sounds like someone out of touch with the concerns of young people of today, seeing them as threatening, and having developed an entire discourse on why their feelings & concerns don't have a lot of validity, and are contributing to the downfall of society. leans fascistic, if i didn't know better

    • @ChoveChuva-mn1ks
      @ChoveChuva-mn1ks 24 дні тому

      Imagine thinking your elders who think your spoiled are fascists

  • @PlasmaBurns
    @PlasmaBurns Місяць тому +2

    why am I sub'd to this channel? Did you guys buy this account and change the name? All you put out is kosher propaganda. im out.

  • @Edit-nk6nb
    @Edit-nk6nb Місяць тому +5

    Oh jesus christ, not Abigail Shrier...!
    Unsubscribed for even suggesting her bile is legitimate.

    • @markkavanagh7377
      @markkavanagh7377 Місяць тому +12

      Book an appointment with your therapist.

    • @francisjo3
      @francisjo3 Місяць тому +8

      What will we ever do without you?! Please come back!! No? Guess I'll just have to cry myself to sleep.

    • @adalette
      @adalette Місяць тому +2

      Don’t you think someone can be wrong, even bigoted, in some areas, but still have important things to say in others? This interview isn’t even about trans issues, Shrier’s take on which I’m presuming to be the bile you’re referring to. (I’d agree, btw: Irreversible Damage was horrendous piece of moral-panic-mongering.)

    • @Saeronor
      @Saeronor Місяць тому

      @@adalette If Hitler ever said "Breathing is good", he would be killing people even today.

    • @xwarrior760
      @xwarrior760 Місяць тому

      @@adalette Probably like 80% of the subscriberbase agrees with Abigail on trans issues.