I got tested for a personality disorder

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  • Опубліковано 28 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 701

  • @lyssasletters3232
    @lyssasletters3232 Рік тому +732

    Wow. Losing a friend group and finding out that they have such negative thoughts about you? That must have been so hurtful and confusing. I’m so sorry you went through that.

    • @KilaLemon
      @KilaLemon Рік тому +7

      Sounds like he's a narcissist

    • @straberryshinigami15g97
      @straberryshinigami15g97 Рік тому +44

      I lost my friend group of all 6 people all at once who told me in annoying and obnoxious, with one friend telling me she always thought I was annoying even before we were friends. I still deal with the repercussions of that 7 years later.

    • @NeoNaito
      @NeoNaito Рік тому +17

      @@straberryshinigami15g97 Sounds like you either entered a "friend group" you didn't belong in, or you act out when you feel comfortable.

    • @sunnybunny406
      @sunnybunny406 Рік тому +10

      It’s shitty when friends don’t understand what going through a difficult time is like

    • @idiotthatdrawsakaartist
      @idiotthatdrawsakaartist Рік тому

      @@straberryshinigami15g97 I'm currently going through something similar, im almost completely isolated. If it weren't for the one true friend i made 2 weeks before getting abandoned I would still be rotting mentally. It's hard to feel like I'm worthy of love at this point. I want to be vulnerable and nice and sweet but ever since that patience i instinctually default to snapping and being sarcastic as a copping mechanism. I tried embracing being a bad person because if that's all im going to be seen as no matter what i do to make amends, or apologies, or just learn from my past mistakes than what's the point in allowing myself to be vulnerable and hurt without mercy. I don't want their forgiveness, i just want to move on with my life and rebuild my social life and not repeat what ive done. But as of now it feels impossible, especially with new people i meet being just as closed off as me.

  • @eleanoreliz
    @eleanoreliz Рік тому +1409

    This psychiatrist, as portrayed by you, clearly said COMPLEX PTSD - CPTSD. That's *five* letters, so that's something!

    • @brandonschnabel1328
      @brandonschnabel1328 Рік тому +23

      Yeah but one is lowercase, so does that even really count? 😛

    • @drebugsita
      @drebugsita Рік тому +38

      Yes, CPTSD - my own personal diagnosis - is not just your ordinary PTSD

    • @dannycrankovich
      @dannycrankovich Рік тому +1

      She is the text book definition of a "3 pump and dump " girl

    • @HayleyPhoebe
      @HayleyPhoebe Рік тому +10

      PTSD is temporary but cPTSD now that’s forever 😂😂😂😂

    • @sugoruyo
      @sugoruyo Рік тому +4

      You're missing the point, the 4-letter ones are banal, the 3-letter ones are cool and any 2-letter ones would be kind of the disorders... a 5-letter one is a death sentence.

  • @jpobletest
    @jpobletest Рік тому +456

    "I'm glad they didn't understand me, because that meant they didn't have a similar history" .
    Thank you so much for this!! Got diagnosed with C-PTSD last year and ended up thinking the same, it explains so much about my life, and explains so much about some of my personal relationships

  • @crem-crem4070
    @crem-crem4070 Рік тому +549

    For those of you curious:
    Exploding head syndrome is a benign, underdiagnosed sensory parasomnia. It is the sensation of hearing a loud sound during sleep-wake/wake-sleep transitions.

    • @alicjazzz
      @alicjazzz Рік тому +3

      I had this on my antidepressants, so my shrink prescribed me anti-epileptic(?) pills and those are gone😂

    • @luciusliu9417
      @luciusliu9417 Рік тому +6

      I feel like I have this, but it's just that my neighbors like shooting guns (or fireworks) at random times of the day throughout the week (and that I live on the city outskirts where trucks haul metal sometimes).

    • @R3X554
      @R3X554 Рік тому +1

      I wouldnt worry about losing friends, with dissiciative identity disorder you will have all the friends you need😜

    • @jramseier
      @jramseier Рік тому +2

      thank you google senpai

    • @Andtherewasguitar
      @Andtherewasguitar Рік тому +9

      Sometimes I hear (think I hear?) a loud clap as I wake or fall asleep.

  • @Spenceristired
    @Spenceristired Рік тому +270

    being sober is a super power

    • @alicjazzz
      @alicjazzz Рік тому +7

      100% agree!

    • @BB-fo5mr
      @BB-fo5mr Рік тому +7

      Almost 8 years myself.
      You have got to do it to start seeing the world as it really is. And to stop “blocking” the reality of your own life.

  • @wagenna
    @wagenna Рік тому +678

    Hey there, I (male, 40) have BPD with a dependant (or submissive) NPD underneath, CPTSD and an anxiety disorder. With three years of therapy and hard work on myself I managed to weaken almost every symptom of it, don't meet the diagnostic criteria of NPD anymore and live a mostly happy life. I am not where I want to be, but on the road to get there within two years. So if you suffer from any of these disorders, know that you can still absolutely live a wonderful life if you are willing to put in the energy and work that is needed to make you and the people around you feel better. :)

    • @desireer6915
      @desireer6915 Рік тому +6

      ❤❤❤

    • @areandwhy
      @areandwhy Рік тому +34

      "weakened" is such a great word-- conversely showing the strength you've gained. Super empowering.

    • @yumbunny2566
      @yumbunny2566 Рік тому +9

      So happy for you! ❤

    • @wagenna
      @wagenna Рік тому +14

      @@areandwhy You are right! I didn't think about my choice of words, but now that I do, it actually feels empowering!

    • @wagenna
      @wagenna Рік тому +3

      @@yumbunny2566 Thank you! ❤

  • @ubermut1379
    @ubermut1379 Рік тому +213

    I really hate how people claim that every person they don’t like is a narcissist. That’s so stigmatising. As someone who recently also had a friendgroup falling out - sounds like you’re better off without them. My friend group had experience with their own trauma. But they still have this horrible idea about how „real“ victims and „real“ trauma are supposed to look. Being damaged themselves doesn’t magically protect them from hurting you or makes them suddenly very understanding and empathetic. I’m sorry you had to learn this the hard way. I had to, too.

    • @straberryshinigami15g97
      @straberryshinigami15g97 Рік тому +6

      Yea, it really stigmatizes people with NPD.

    • @ciaxx
      @ciaxx Рік тому +4

      Narcissism has become one of those buzzwords that people will apply to anyone and anything. Reminds me of how, in the 2000s during my youth, any girl who went on a diet or even just tried to eat healthy was accused of having anorexia.

    • @ubermut1379
      @ubermut1379 Рік тому +2

      @@straberryshinigami15g97 that’s exactly what I mean! It creates a false equivalence between „evil“ and „NPD“. People with personality disorders truly get treated like they are destructive people who deserve to be ostracised. But the truth is, not every asshole has a personality disorder and vice versa.

    • @Foden5354
      @Foden5354 Рік тому

      you gotta admit though she does kind of give off conceited, self absorbed vibes/know it all

    • @c.eb.1216
      @c.eb.1216 8 місяців тому +1

      ​@@Foden5354 Not if you like her as a person. Then you just think "wow she's so thoughtful and insightful"

  • @AnthonyStJames-yn8nr
    @AnthonyStJames-yn8nr Рік тому +57

    honestly, if Anna was a confirmed narcissist, mental issue or whatever personality disorder, I don't see her different and still like her. We all have a few screw loose here and there, we just learn to embrace what we have and that of others' as well. We love you, Anna

    • @grantwithers
      @grantwithers 7 місяців тому

      All true, still love her and all, but if she is NPD, she will near certainly be abusing people around her (to get supply).

  • @Aluran
    @Aluran Рік тому +201

    Anna is really good at helping people laugh through their pain

    • @alicjazzz
      @alicjazzz Рік тому +3

      That's exactly why I am here every time I see a notification from her channel ❤

    • @ricoamordavila7496
      @ricoamordavila7496 Рік тому

      Shes not funny

  • @Devilsfannumber30
    @Devilsfannumber30 Рік тому +171

    My brother committed suicide this year and I’m using cognitive behavioral therapy and EMDR to help myself out

    • @KayKayBayForever
      @KayKayBayForever Рік тому +16

      I’m so sorry ❤

    • @justk4929
      @justk4929 Рік тому +11

      so sorry for your loss. Wish you luck in your therapy journey

    • @moonshinershonor202
      @moonshinershonor202 Рік тому +4

      R.I.P. bro

    • @carloscampo9119
      @carloscampo9119 Рік тому +8

      Deeply sorry for your loss. Don't know if you are religious or not, but I will give a prayer for him. Sending you my strength.

    • @Lilyium
      @Lilyium Рік тому

      I'm just about to start EMDR therapy. Do you mind me asking how it's going for you?

  • @victoriaguiot-page2245
    @victoriaguiot-page2245 Рік тому +195

    For everyone else:
    BPD or Bipolar disorder isnt something to wish for. BPD is the closest thing to a curse you could have. The stigma around it that causes alot of pain because you always question if it would be safe to come out to your new relations or if they would shun you, because you know people left for that reason in the past. The sensation that your body and mind are burning and all you want to do is not be here and disapear because you hurt so much and you dont know when its gonna stop. The black and white thinking which dictates your life....
    And my mother is Bipolar, and as much as she loves us, she'll never know how much she affects us because we'll never tell her. We cant. Cause that would mean suicide and we dont want to loose her. Because we also feel deeply guilty of resenting her because she's also the most dedicated and loving mother.
    I mostly say that because i had another crisis yesterday where i nearly cut every bridge i have with the only friends i have and i just wish i didnt have this godforsaken 3 letters attached to me. I wish i was "normal"...

    • @oddmented
      @oddmented Рік тому +15

      That makes sense, take care! However, BPD is the acronym for Borderline, while Bipolar Disorder is BP - which one do you have?

    • @BLVCKSEA
      @BLVCKSEA Рік тому +2

      I feel you bud. I was diagnosed with BP1 about 10 years ago in the same year my first child was born and also lost my father to a heart attack..2013 was pretty rough for me and I have been on a rollercoaster ride since then..between medications..hospitalizations..jail..recovery..work..raising a child..trying to live a normal life hasn't been so easy for me. I also had one suicide attempt..medics got me in the nick of time tho 🙏...now I'm focused on maintaining my wellness by therapy and mental health treatment and it seems to be working out this time..I highly suggest you try doing the same if you haven't already..

    • @shanluann6417
      @shanluann6417 Рік тому +2

      I couldn't have said it better myself. BPD is horrible to live with

    • @Chekedaki
      @Chekedaki Рік тому +1

      ​@@oddmentedshe talks about both. She has BPD and her mother has BP.

    • @Ahb2121
      @Ahb2121 8 місяців тому

      Yeah this massively rubbed me the wrong way… hoping to have a certain disorder to get views… 🤯

  • @howdy1312
    @howdy1312 Рік тому +315

    I have BPD. It's not cool and exciting. It comes from a history of childhood trauma. Not something you should wish you have.

    • @steff1076
      @steff1076 Рік тому +40

      Not to mention the stigma around it all :(

    • @gabbiness
      @gabbiness Рік тому +37

      Agreed.
      Also as someone who was close to a person with NPD, I don't think that was very "cool" either.

    • @kikitauer
      @kikitauer Рік тому +63

      I am so sorry you're going through this. If that's any consolation, I don't think she really thinks that. Sometimes the reality is a little bit too hard to accept and weird thoughts can come. CPTSD isn't something anyone wishes either. BPD has actually quite a good prognosis in general so I hope it will get better soon for you as well 🙏

    • @michaelrmurphy2734
      @michaelrmurphy2734 Рік тому +11

      Which I think is the case with Anna. Her sister's sad death and her family's unstable background.

    • @kayjackson2717
      @kayjackson2717 Рік тому +2

      Very much so (from someone who also has it)

  • @alexissashanicolle8675
    @alexissashanicolle8675 Рік тому +21

    Your ability to see your former friends point of view and wish that they never experienced the pain you have, in my armature opinion says that You are definitely not a narcissist. Also, I’m sorry about your loss. I’ve lost family members to suicide as well, it’s a very hard way to lose someone you love. Kudos to you for working on hearing and sharing valuable insights with others.

  • @alifiakapasi9746
    @alifiakapasi9746 Рік тому +47

    Anna, I am sorry about that happening with your friends. You deserve friends who do have compassion and who you can trust and feel safe with. I love your content, been watching for a while. Thanks for always keeping it real. ❤

  • @321megmeg
    @321megmeg Рік тому +174

    Okay that's crazy and at the same time crazy relatable. I kinda wished I'd have bipolar disorder or something that would explain all my behavior. Accepting I was really traumatized by my family over such a long period of time and admitting that I mostly had a bad childhood was pretty hard. Also accepting I'd always have to live in this reality where I get more easily triggered than others - not easy. But yes, seeing that not every person is right for you and not needing everyone's approval to feel good about me is one of the nicest things ever!

    • @InsoIence
      @InsoIence Рік тому +9

      Your trauma matters. It explains your behaviour and it wasn't your fault.
      Take care of yourself.

    • @BDSandM
      @BDSandM Рік тому +1

      More easily triggered is a symptom of Borderline Personality Disorder.

  • @nikkinitrogen
    @nikkinitrogen Рік тому +18

    Almost the identical thing happened to me last year. My entire circle of friends labeled me a Narcissist and we had a huge falling out. I went into therapy and eventually was put on an involuntary hold that thankfully got me in contact with a psychiatrist. I was diagnosed with c-PTSD and Major Depressive Disorder severe non-psychotic. I'm medicated for the second on and in therapy for both. I really was convinced I was a Narcissist and I was just out there hurting people like there was some gremlin inside of me getting activated and harming people when I was asleep or something. I've had the chance to fully start over with friends who understand and give me the space I need when I "get dark," and I don't put as much pressure on myself to perform when I need that space.

    • @mollusckscramp4124
      @mollusckscramp4124 8 місяців тому +1

      I'm glad you were able to find people who value you and make you feel like you belong, I wish you success in your healing journey with CPTSD!

  • @jamesdragonforce
    @jamesdragonforce Рік тому +3

    “Wouldn’t it be cool if I were a narcissist?”
    Probably a narcissist.

  • @Kelly-bh2mq
    @Kelly-bh2mq Рік тому +23

    I have CPTSD here too. I thought I had a million other things including NPD. I was nervous. My therapist said I couldn’t be a narcissist because usually narcissists don’t seek out help. Also, she said PTSD can mimic other disorders

    • @Ocker3
      @Ocker3 Рік тому +3

      True. I thought I had ADHD because I've got Hyper Vigilance from the CPTSD (which I've been recovering from, over years, with excellent therapy). But I 'failed' the ADHD test and the psych was really confident in their CPTSD diagnosis. It has given me a lot of useful context and a path forwards to living a better life.

  • @hweiii
    @hweiii Рік тому +75

    There's a great book by Peter Walker called C-PTSD: from surviving to thriving that has helped me a lot I highly recommend for understanding what C-PTSD is and how to deal!

    • @slumber8120
      @slumber8120 Рік тому +3

      i'm reading this now and finding it helpful too!

    • @SweetheartMorada
      @SweetheartMorada Рік тому

      This book is legitimately life changing!!

    • @senorachampagne3991
      @senorachampagne3991 Рік тому

      Awesome recommendation! Was diagnosed with C-PTSD by my psychiatrist while working with her for 2+ years. This is now my #1 go-to book to manage it 🤍

  • @amoonheart
    @amoonheart Рік тому +5

    i have cptsd and i finished several years of therapy 4 months ago. i’ve been feeling very good lately, but this week i’ve suddenly had so many big things hit me that it’s been quite hard to not drown in the overwhelming overthinking and hurt those come with. i was starting to spiral and hearing the message at the end was very validating and has already helped me feel a little lighter again and to give myself some more grace again. thank you so much, i really needed it.

  • @Sofia-he1qw
    @Sofia-he1qw Рік тому +4

    For me, the reason why I wanted to get diagnosed so badly isn't because I thought it was cool, it was because I just wanted some sort of explanation/validation for what I was, and still am going through. Especially since I had been told my entire life that I was faking things. And then I also got a very unexpected diagnosis.

  • @CrocusSeal
    @CrocusSeal 10 місяців тому +2

    I had the opposite experience. My therapist diagnosed me with Borderline Personality Disorder after 4 sessions with me and didn't tell me. I found out because it was on a document for my job as I was requesting medical leave due to burnout. The whole time she never brought this up, never even steered the conversation towards it. She was validating of all my traumas. Never told me that any of my reactions to things were overblown
    It really felt crappy to know this whole times she thought I had a personality disorder and didn't tell me.

  • @cdorman11
    @cdorman11 Рік тому +5

    2:10 The patients I've come across who got a diagnosis of NPD or antisocial personality disorder weren't too happy. They're not excuses or victim disorders: they're jerk disorders. A girl with the former said, "I have the mean disorder." A guy with the latter broke the news to his mother, "It's kind of a negative label."

  • @MsBurntToast
    @MsBurntToast Рік тому +62

    I feel like this was content but also this was a message to those friends.

    • @winniecoffeetogo9454
      @winniecoffeetogo9454 Рік тому +14

      I have been wondering what happened between her and the twins, Melissa and Michelle. This explains a lot now.

    • @itsmetheantihero
      @itsmetheantihero Рік тому +2

      @@winniecoffeetogo9454 I had been wondering too! I'm so sorry to hear what happened. I had a similar experience myself and it was very hurtful.

    • @mukta4689
      @mukta4689 Рік тому +2

      ​@@winniecoffeetogo9454wait the twins are no longer friends with her then??

    • @jch9301
      @jch9301 Рік тому +7

      Think they’re still friends - the twins are in the animation at 2:49

    • @mukta4689
      @mukta4689 Рік тому

      @@jch9301 ohh thank god! This is some other friend group I guess

  • @Arational
    @Arational Рік тому +20

    Anna, you really don't want bipolar disorder.
    You are better off than most.
    Sending virtual hugs.

  • @makitaniguchi7278
    @makitaniguchi7278 Рік тому +3

    I'm sorry to hear you've been diagnosed with CPTSD. i have been too. I urge you to seek EMDR therapy as it's helped me immensely. Feels like a decade of therapy and processing and healing in just a couple of years. That being said, i appreciate your candidness about being excited about potentially having a diagnosis, but i wouldn't wish NPD/BPD/CPTSD/PTSD on my worst enemies; it means you were forced to adapt to intolerable levels of pain in your formative years. PTSD and CPTSD are quite different as CPTSD can look like many things and it can be hidden and not so obvious; it affects every aspect of my life, relationships, career, health, self esteem. Thank you for talking about this and urge you not to take it lightly.

  • @theanswerisegg
    @theanswerisegg Рік тому +1

    As a clinical psychologist I need to say that PTSD is treatable and that do diagnose it it also includes flashbacks, nightmares, hyper vigilance, avoidance of reminders of the trauma, mood deregulation, relationship difficulties and a pervasive negative sense of self. EMDR (eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing therapy) can also be very helpful and faster than CBT and equally effective and you can have it even without all those symptoms

  • @loeffel999
    @loeffel999 Рік тому +55

    As a fellow trauma survivor, I can strongly recommend EMDR. It is a really effective treatment, although we still didn't quite figure out why it works.

    • @jramseier
      @jramseier Рік тому +3

      the way you explained that makes it sound like snail oil x_x

    • @hannahlang4703
      @hannahlang4703 Рік тому

      And brianspotting!

    • @kts7326
      @kts7326 Рік тому +3

      @@jramseier Only it’s not. It is a treatment officially recognised by NICE in the UK, and also in the US. You’d be surprised by how many things we can’t quite figure how they work

    • @betzy7560
      @betzy7560 14 днів тому

      What is EMDR?

  • @LemonThymeArt
    @LemonThymeArt Рік тому +31

    Yay CPTSD club! Currently in a Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT*) group with other CPTSD-ers. CFT includes daily visualization meditations and journaling homework assignments that have been transformative. I still get triggered and experience intense emotions, but CFT makes it easier to notice when I’m out of whack, counter my impulsive shame/self-hatred with patience and compassion/self-connection, and “cool down” much faster… which in turn allows me to have control over my own body again and make decisions from a non-threat based mode. Apparently as young as 2 weeks old an infant can tell whether or not they’re in a safe environment 😮. So these neurological connections can run DEEP. Our brains are amazing. And our healing is sacred and beautiful ❤ (*CFT augmented with years of prior DBT, CBT, EMDR, etc, )

    • @n.8706
      @n.8706 Рік тому +1

      do you have any workbooks that you recommend?

    • @drebugsita
      @drebugsita Рік тому

      Wow, I'd never heard of CFT - and I've looked up treatments for CPTSD a lot! Thank you for sharing! Wishing you the best

  • @micahcabrera4637
    @micahcabrera4637 Рік тому +9

    CPTSD here as well. I thought it was all the things you listed until I saw a trauma pro. The memories are buried, so I didn't have a story of why I felt so fucked up. Even though these diagnoses are just labels placed on our complexity, they do help a story begin to crystalize, which helps us orient toward where we want to go with greater ease.
    Your inner beauty is lovely to behold, Anna.

    • @edmundfreeman7203
      @edmundfreeman7203 Рік тому +1

      Same here. The memories are buried which means a lot of traditional talk therapies don't work. It helps a lot to have a label, so we know we aren't alone.

  • @Laf631
    @Laf631 Рік тому +18

    It's a big pet peeve to me the way people throw around serious diagnostic accusations, as if "person I don't like" automatically means "person with a serious personality disorder."

  • @Sicod79
    @Sicod79 Рік тому +33

    A sorry that you are experiencing one of the "not cool ones" and hope since you are aware and getting help you continue to be able to be a functional, successful, and hopefully happy human being.

  • @Endrigo_Ferrari
    @Endrigo_Ferrari Рік тому +1

    I have atypical depression and recognize some CPTSD symptoms on me. I struggle a lot with the fear of being judged. My goal is to live the most balanced life possible, and hope i can have my energy back and reduce the anhedonia somehow.

  • @Moonlight_Sonata19
    @Moonlight_Sonata19 Рік тому +27

    Tell us more on living with PTSD

  • @Markai1994
    @Markai1994 Рік тому +4

    This resonates so much Similar situations happened to me: old friends who have personality disorders suggested I might have one: got checked by 3 psychiatrists.... C-PTSD. I found EMDR helped significantly

  • @KyanneSummer
    @KyanneSummer Рік тому +1

    “According to the dictionary definition, being self-centered is to be preoccupied with oneself or one’s affairs, which we are no doubt all guilty of (I certainly know I am). On the other hand, narcissism is a disorder which definitely includes being selfish, however, it also touches on a lack of empathy, a need for admiration, and an unhealthy obsession with physical appearance.
    The word narcissism is often thrown around a little too much and has become a blanket term for many undesirable traits that many of us display. Plus, for the most part, it is also a very misunderstood condition. Although, selfishness and self-centeredness are symptoms of narcissism, they don’t encompass the whole illness. Indeed, this disorder has many facets and can’t simply be reduced to a few toxic behaviors that most of the population display at one moment or another.” Wengood

  • @ukuleila
    @ukuleila Рік тому +1

    I'm no professional but my mother seriously has NPD and I'm intimately familiar with how she is. It's hard to explain, but through all the interactions I have with her, big and small, it is clear to me that she is *incapable* of really caring about someone other than herself - as in, even if she WANTED to, she couldn't. Also, she says anything that is convenient for her, meaning she lies constantly. But unlike some other liars, she seems truly to believe that she isn't "lying" per se; she acts like she thinks words are not true or false at all, but they're more like tools you can use however you want. You just don't strike me as being like her. She also has ZERO self-awareness and has never done any form of self-reflection whatsoever, which clearly you do. Not sure if that helps but just sharing what I know.

  • @angelkaterose
    @angelkaterose Рік тому +1

    My sincere condolences, Anna, for the loss of the possiblity that you have a significantly more channel-boosting three-lettered cool personality disorder.

  • @hannahsssooo
    @hannahsssooo 5 місяців тому +1

    This is a weird thing to say but as someone with BPD who has followed you for 15 years, it has helped me, you’re like my big sister if she was interested psychology instead of marketing and finances. 😂🙏🏼 now I just have CPTSD and it’s NOT good for my career, but it’s better than when I was undiagnosed CPTSD and didn’t know where the BPD symptoms came from.

  • @syedrahman3251
    @syedrahman3251 Рік тому +5

    I also have PTSD from being forcefully abducted by my family and trying to put me under conservatorship. Every time I hear the doorbell I stare at the person coming in, even if it is someone I see everyday, as If they are here to get me. I even have dreams of several distant family members crowding around me while I sleep.

  • @selfhelpsonya
    @selfhelpsonya Рік тому +11

    I love your videos. You inspired me to make my videos. Thank you for being so vulnerable in sharing your story. You are improving lives.

  • @davidevans6545
    @davidevans6545 Рік тому +11

    First-off, Anna, I love you. Your videos help me a lot through my life. I have been struggling with mental illness all my life. However, I did not know what was wrong with me until I turned 40 and could afford to see a doctor. (America Needs Universal Healthcare Now!) I found out I was manic-depressive and had huge PTSD from a terrible childhood. For 20 years, I've been dealing with it pretty well. I take med (that thankfully work) and see a therapist (I've been through a lot of therapists). It's good to know even someone who is talented, funny, smart and beautiful like you can also be faced with some of the same stuff people like me (fat, ugly, self-hating) have to face. Thank you.

    • @Chekedaki
      @Chekedaki Рік тому +1

      I love you David

    • @davidevans6545
      @davidevans6545 Рік тому

      Thank you, C. Good to know, I'm not alone. These are lonely times. @@Chekedaki

  • @coffeeisdelicious
    @coffeeisdelicious Рік тому +1

    I went thought a very similar thing. I got diagnosed with complex PTSD while also in the middle of a fallout with a group of friends. That was about 3 years ago now. It gets better.

  • @catherinesvideos156
    @catherinesvideos156 Рік тому +7

    In addition to CBT, EMDR is incredibly helpful and evidence based for PTSD and CPTSD. As someone who's also been in therapy basically my whole adult life, I'm experiencing improvements and progress with EMDR that I've never gotten from any other modality.

  • @Adam_Le-Roi_Davis.
    @Adam_Le-Roi_Davis. Рік тому +14

    Thank you for all the sharing which you do, I think that you help others by being so open. This is something which I do also, I suffer from PTSD too due to my childhood, my parents were to blame but they were just trying to cope with their dysfunctional relationship so, they had their own issues to deal with and I got caught in the cross-fire of it all. I've found that people can't understand the impact that PTSD has on your life unless they've suffered themselves, they can sympathise but not empathise of course.

  • @Maxel913
    @Maxel913 Рік тому +3

    I’m glad you opened up about the friend group thing. I went through a similar situation after being cheated on. I went through a lot of stages of believing there was something wrong with me until I started to find myself again.

  • @TheKrispyfort
    @TheKrispyfort Рік тому +1

    I embrace the term "post traumatic stress injury" PTSI.
    With my understanding and review of the condition injury is more accurate a description than disorder is.
    Some injuries can become permanent when not properly treated from the beginning.
    PTSI is one example

  • @alexanderw.5200
    @alexanderw.5200 Рік тому +2

    PTSD is unique to us and our lived human experience and can be hard to explain to others who may not understand. The military gave me a lot of problems, but at least the feds are paying for the therapy. Hopefully you end up with a more supportive friend group. Sorry to hear this happened.

  • @georgepalmer5497
    @georgepalmer5497 Рік тому +1

    I've been diagnosed with schizoid and avoidant personality disorders. The pull from that direction is very strong. I've gotten to where I don't need that much human company. Life isn't bad.

  • @Superlegofighter101
    @Superlegofighter101 Рік тому +1

    You ever get an internal gut feeling about somebody's vibe? Like they would be such an experience to talk to? Anna gives me that. Indescribable really. Although, BetterHelp def giving her a bag.

  • @Allyyaknow
    @Allyyaknow Рік тому

    Fellow CPTSD haver here. Thank you for speaking about this when I got diagnosed there werent people online talking about it. When I got diagnosed I had no idea what the heck this ment. Keep being you girl!

  • @BoMwarriorVlog
    @BoMwarriorVlog Рік тому +2

    2:16 😅🤣 Oh my word Anna. This is back like your older videos! I love it because not only are you creative, funny, attractive, and multi-talented, but you're so relatable!!
    I think I've commented before, but I honestly often see you like a big sister to me ❤ (I only have younger brothers, I'm pretty sure I'm older than you, and I just automatically think of everyone around me as smarter or more experienced than me so... 🤷).
    I've gone through this thought process before as well, being proud of the "alphabet letters" I've collected. 😏 I have MDD, OCD, ADHD, SAD (Social Anxiety), Dyscalculia (no good abbreviation for that), plus another one.
    Thank you for being awesome and helping me laugh at myself while getting a little different perspective. 💛

  • @MsZephyra
    @MsZephyra Рік тому +1

    Wasn't expecting to almost spit out my coffee laughing...! Beyond the humor, this was such good info packed into just a few minutes. I love the healthy self-reflection. All the best from a longtime viewer and undiagnosed (but pretty sure) C-PTSD survivor...

  • @kikithepupper6774
    @kikithepupper6774 Рік тому +1

    I got complex PTSD too but then my therapist also said I may have Borderline Personality Disorder, which pissed me off

  • @bryancroad2063
    @bryancroad2063 Рік тому +1

    You trying to help others with your channel is very nice and appreciated.

  • @RicardoMoralesMassin
    @RicardoMoralesMassin Рік тому +5

    I found myself giggling like a little boy at the diagnosis tantrum. I was like "Oh Anna... you're so silly" It gets parasocial around here. But I'm really glad we have this channel.
    Love to all

  • @Brellowcrop
    @Brellowcrop Рік тому +2

    I dont think psychologists tell you if you had a personality disorder or it would enable you

  • @carloselerma
    @carloselerma Рік тому +1

    ive been a fan for almost a decade now

  • @CoffeeAndDaydreaming
    @CoffeeAndDaydreaming Рік тому +4

    Thank you for sharing. We all have highs and lows and it's nice when you have a friend group that accepts you for the good and bad. We all can't be perfect. I think a lot of people blame and label what they see in themselves if you shine a little. Cheers to having our own back and the others that is supportive

  • @Tasmetu
    @Tasmetu Рік тому +1

    Have you read „What my bones know“? It is an asians womans journey with C-PTSD & I think you would find it valuable!

  • @jamesdavenport1143
    @jamesdavenport1143 Рік тому +2

    If you're eager for more letters, I highly recommend EMDR for treating PTSD. Useful even for people in therapy since age 17. And it will not take even more years of your life to be effective.

  • @verydenise
    @verydenise Рік тому +1

    I commend you for taking feedback and looking inward. It’s hard to do, but when when that many people think it… it’s something to look at

  • @marcusbangemu6041
    @marcusbangemu6041 Рік тому +1

    Anna I’m really sorry those “friends” treated u that way

  • @Amalthya
    @Amalthya Рік тому +1

    Something similar happened to me. My friend called me selfish and asked me to go to therapy all while my grandpa was dying at the hospital. At that time, I was in a abusive relationship with a guy who cheating while I was out there in hospitals for my grandpa! I admit my PSTD wasn’t letting out the good friend in me but it definitely got out worst in someone I thought I knew. I distanced myself from the friend and all friends associated with her.

  • @oobbs
    @oobbs Рік тому +1

    Look into MDMA-assisted therapy for PTSD. I believe they use it for soldiers to help them manage their PTSD.

  • @xav9156
    @xav9156 Рік тому +1

    Anna, don't get confused between what people say you are and who you know you are. Love Xav

  • @fieldsofblueheather
    @fieldsofblueheather Рік тому +1

    You are delightful and always bring the humor. When I found out that I have CPTSD I was like woooooooooooooooooooooow. This. Explains. So. Much. And while it may seem painfully obvious after the thing is named and all the dots are connected...(mom suicide and other t and T things in my case)...hindsight only works backwards. I'm so grateful when people like your lovely self talk openly about these things because it lessens the power of the shadow dwelling shame gremlins. In my experience a lot of people are uncomfortable with grief and loss so it can be very awkward to navigate even basic 'getting to know you' scenarios even years later because when you disclose things people often don't know what to say. Thanks for always posting eloquent content on these tough subjects. ♥

  • @annanyakalyanaraman1481
    @annanyakalyanaraman1481 Рік тому

    I'm so sorry for what you went through Anna. I'm glad you're doing something great despite your traumatic past. Thank you so much for making such awesome content and making us laugh time to time. We love you soooooo muchhhhh ❤

  • @tamaraj8214
    @tamaraj8214 Рік тому +1

    I am someone who has a diagnosis from a psychiatrist. She didn't give me a specific name like bipolar, borderline personality disorder or narcissistic personality disorder and so on. My diagnosis is a actually a list of symptoms. When I asked her about the "name" of my diagnosis she told me "it doesn't matter what's the name of your diagnosis it matters what you feel inside". I take meds even though my diagnosis doesn't have a specific name.

  • @ninavtv
    @ninavtv Рік тому +2

    As someone with bipolar disorder and Childhood PTSD it is not fun because I experience psychosis Paranoia and OCD. I have Schizo affective bipolar as well. I also tend to hear voices with different personalities and life experiences different from mine which leads me to believe I have some form of DID but thats just my opinion. I take like 3 meds that really help and the first 3 rounds of meds did not help and I have been Baker Acted 3 times and voluntary once. And I need trauma and family therapy. I have gone to group therapy and have weekly therapy. So yeah its been a lot.

  • @hotexwife
    @hotexwife Рік тому +5

    every single nurse I've worked with has been resounding about hearing bed alarms, Ascom ringtones, IV pump alarms and screams for help while they're sleeping. I thought it was just a fun and quirky side effect of being in the healthcare field 😅

  • @nataliemoonsings
    @nataliemoonsings Рік тому +1

    The exact same thing happened to me with the friendship fallout. Few years after graduating hs.

  • @ShibaSeshi
    @ShibaSeshi Рік тому +1

    I’m always so grateful for your videos! CPTSD is a beeeeetch sometimes. I also had a mass exodus of friends last year during a breakdown. 😅 but now I have much more understanding and compassionate people in my life.

  • @lilubirb3211
    @lilubirb3211 Рік тому

    im so sorry for yours and your family's loss. May your sister be in peace now.

  • @kierlak
    @kierlak Рік тому +3

    I have CPTSD/anxiety. I did IFS therapy (which included a lot of Inner Child work), CBT didn't help me at all (I also like other modalities but haven't tried them myself: ACT, CFT, Person Centred Therapy and Positive Psychology). But to begin with, psychedelics (psilocybin) helped me to start the ball rolling so to speak (psychedelics didn't fix me: they just showed me what I need to work on). I know MDMA has been very effective in clinical trials for classic PTSD. Meds didn't help me at all, even tried ketamine in clinical setting and also ECT: no results. Meditation been very helpful. Finding out that I am an introvert. Doing MBTI (tested as INFJ/HSP). And other bits and bobs: reading a lot of psychology books (ones on the topic of forgiveness changed my life), journalling, good boundaries, meaningful work (I work in mental health), avoiding dopaminergic activities (reading about dopamine and understanding how it works helped).
    Best advice I can give to anyone: talk to someone if you've been struggling. Ask for help. It's not a weakness: quite the opposite ❤

    • @paulpgoddard76
      @paulpgoddard76 Рік тому +1

      Similar path here: thank you for mentioning IFS. MDMA and 3-MMC, especially in a safe group setting, using IFS, and with people who have good enough self-regulation was a game changer for me.

  • @attilakiss8585
    @attilakiss8585 Рік тому +1

    When you were talking all about those things, I just see that you are so cute, and at the same time strong. I like your personality - on these videos, because this is all I know about you - whether it is narcissist or not.

  • @fiestadancers
    @fiestadancers Рік тому +1

    I’m sorry you have CPTSD. I have that as well. It’s very hard to lose people.

  • @BDSandM
    @BDSandM Рік тому +1

    BD and BPD make it extremely difficult to do your career at all. In some cases, it's so debilitating that it can qualify for disability. I have Borderline Personality Disorder. My ex-bf has Bipolar Disorder. He's probably been lying in his bed, depressed and unable to move for the past couple months because I ended our toxic relationship. But before that, he hasn't been able to work for the past two years because he's been too unstable.
    I'm glad you don't have these disorders so you can share you wisdom with all of us via insightful, entertaining videos. :>D

  • @emilybelzer5773
    @emilybelzer5773 5 місяців тому +1

    Had some people throw borderline at me, went and got properly evaluated, and they were like "omg no, geez, it's just autism" 😂 Apparently autism, especially high-masking in adult women (for instance) can be misinterpreted as a personality disorder like borderline because of the maladaptive masking techniques. Fundamental underlying differences, though, which are really important to the treatment needed and outcome expectations.

  • @revondamehovic3132
    @revondamehovic3132 Рік тому +1

    ❤ to you and everyone who needs it

  • @XMyFrozenHeartX
    @XMyFrozenHeartX Рік тому +2

    As someone with BPD, it’s not fun but I will also say CPTSD has some connecting symptoms/behaviors that are quite similar. So if anything that’s probably the closest lol

  • @randomusernameforchris3392
    @randomusernameforchris3392 Рік тому

    As someone who has taken an interest in psychology and human thoughts over the past decade and more (not professionally) to understand how and why people have treated me in certain situations - I found this insightful. Thanks for sharing something so personal (and with humour Anna)

  • @btdtpro
    @btdtpro Рік тому +3

    What the worst personality disorder of them all in our modern social media landscape? Boring personality disorder. Be a sociopath, be a narcissist, just don't be unengaging to audiences.

  • @chunli6084
    @chunli6084 Рік тому +2

    Anna just be grateful of the things you do have.

  • @AbeeyKat
    @AbeeyKat Рік тому +27

    There’s been some great research programmes with MDMA and talking therapies for PTSD. Just an FYI with PTSD some people find CBT triggering/gaslighty. Another recommended therapy is DBT ☺️

    • @saviitrius
      @saviitrius Рік тому +2

      What's the difference between those? I just looked up DBT and turns out it's exactly what I thought CBT was. And how can CBT be triggering or gaslighting?

    • @V66912
      @V66912 Рік тому +3

      IFS therapy is also great, more psychosomatic since trauma is also stored in the body, it's the opposite of talk therapy

    • @danika9411
      @danika9411 Рік тому +1

      ​​@@saviitrius Actually be careful with DBT. There are a lot of bot so great therapists in that area.
      For c-PTSD there are many options f.e. EMDR, somatic experiencing and NARM and also the vagus nerve is interesting. There is a good book by Bessel van der Kolk "The body keeps the score" about c-PTSD.

  • @markzalewski1697
    @markzalewski1697 Рік тому

    Thanks for caring and sharing Anna

  • @Ailieorz
    @Ailieorz Рік тому +3

    Saying someone is a narcissist doesn't mean they think you have NPD. They're basically saying you're toxic and it's either one of two things. You either are toxic/display narcissistic tendencies OR it's actually another narcissist projecting onto you and trying to turn your friends against you

  • @007scraps
    @007scraps Рік тому +1

    you know, your dissappointment reminds me of Blade Runner 2049, the response by Ryan Goslings character when he finds out the truth.

  • @handymannie
    @handymannie Рік тому

    Wow this happened to me recently. I lost a big friend group because of an actual narcissist lying to others about me. Im currently in therapy to recover. Its been great having new tools dealing with my PTSD and anxiety.

  • @hindagsxr
    @hindagsxr Рік тому

    The fact that you are very good at specific things and know about it is often perceived as narcissism, and this is just a good assessment of reality :)

  • @zuziasmr
    @zuziasmr Рік тому +1

    Always so informative and inspiring! We love you Anna! 🌸💕

  • @Neffectual
    @Neffectual Рік тому +4

    I had to see people for my BPD before I could get my PTSD and c-PTSD treated, and wow was the BPD diagnosis and subsequent Dialectic Behavioural Therapy useful for me. Aaaand then I got diagnosed with ADHD and got told, basically "oh yeah, we give BPD diagnoses to those assigned female at birth, and ADHD to those assigned male at birth, but they're basically the same diagnostic criteria", and DBT is used for both.
    Sometimes I wish psych stuff was as simple as bitchy ex-friends make it seem on the internet.

    • @Chekedaki
      @Chekedaki Рік тому

      Nooooo, ADHD is not the "male version of BPD". Insane that they word it like that. BPD, ADHD, C-PTSD, NPD and ASD have huge OVERLAP but are not the same! There are videos from professionals and professors on UA-cam that talk about the overlapping and differences between these disorders.

    • @Neffectual
      @Neffectual Рік тому

      @@Chekedaki Oh, absolutely - the point my ADHD assessor was making was that I had a much easier time getting a BPD diagnosis than an ADHD one, and that my autism assessment had ended with me being told "you have autistic tendencies that would mark you as autistic under the diagnostic criteria, but I think it stems from your trauma", rather than a diagnosis, and that these pathways might have been suggested to me sooner if I had been AMAB. Also that I probably would've been spotted as potentially neurodivergent in school.
      They're not the same, as me having diagnoses of many of them shows, but some pathways are offered more to some people than others. Especially in an overstretched NHS system. But by saying "basically the same", he was validating my feelings on having been told by numerous therapists who were seeing me for BPD and/or trauma that "I don't think you're autistic or have ADHD". That those people were specialists in their fields, and it wasn't their place to comment on my possible neurodivergence, or attempt to dissuade me from seeking diagnosis. He was pointing out that the overlap, especially in someone like me who is complicated with both my mental and physical health, can lead to bias (subconscious or otherwise) interfering in diagnostic processes.

  • @dragonmaster909
    @dragonmaster909 7 місяців тому +1

    It's their loss. I'd be happy to be friends with you.

  • @Ash2theB
    @Ash2theB Рік тому

    After watching this, everything makes sense. Now it nice to know we have something in common. Insomnia and night terrors is me

  • @TheMeeperman
    @TheMeeperman Рік тому +2

    Narcissism is a spectrum. A person can still be accurately referred to a a narcissist or behaving narcissistically even if they aren't at the level where they would be formally classified as having NPD. Saying that because she isn't diagnosed with NPD the former friends have the issue, because they don't understand her "trauma", seems to be not taking responsibility for her part in the breakdown of the friendship and wanting to play the victim card.

  • @laundryweather
    @laundryweather Рік тому +1

    Just wanted to pop in to say that PTSD much more treatable than most people assume. Many, many people respond well to therapies like Prolonged Exposure, EMDR, or guided psychedelic experiences. You will never be the same as before, but just a few months of hard work can get you to the point where you no longer meet diagnostic criteria and it doesn't control your life. I put off seeking help for way too long because I thought my only option was medication, but that's just not the case.

  • @eeeo2196
    @eeeo2196 Рік тому +1

    You’re getting prettier and prettier ma’am .. that’s overwhelming 😂😍😍😍🩵🩵🩵🩵

  • @AbstractAddiction
    @AbstractAddiction Рік тому +1

    My partner has C-PTSD and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

  • @shemarlosscott2656
    @shemarlosscott2656 Рік тому +1

    My Personality is Good i Go on The Right Path to Become a New Better Version of Myself

  • @lividovid
    @lividovid Рік тому +2

    I feel so represented. I thought that was me I was looking at for a second but nah just a flashback because I'm pretty sure you said things I said like verbatim about c-ptsd for yeeeears.
    But yeah, solidarity -- I, too, was hoping for something cooler and edgier that could help my brand because I can't help myself without doing so accidently.
    Solidarity.