Welcome to my Pharaoh playlist! Each mission is edited into a single video and it's all modded into 1080p HD widescreen. Want to buy Pharaoh (or other games) AND support this channel? Use this GOG referral link! af.gog.com/game/pharaoh_cleopatra?as=1715648857
I CANNOT ! I started playing this game when it came out in 1999. My Father pirated it for me. This was the level that made me give up. I had hit all the required points. I even reduced my population down to 3500 EXACTLY! I was so frustrated. I gave up. At the age of 32 in 2021 I started to play again and came to the same issue all those years later... I cursed the damn game, remembering that I just assumed 'cause my Dad had pirated it that it was a glitch I could not overcome. Encountering it after buying it just pissed me off further. Until now. I had 1000 papyrus in my stock, and I had not realized the tomb needed provisions because I had the 19/19 score....HOW! I had playing all the custom maps where this was required!! Sweet ever loving Jesus (says the atheist) but thank you. THANK YOU!!!! On to level 12 I go 23 years later at the age of 33... FUCK YES... also feeling like a dope but jaysus I was a lonely 10 year old, this game gave me such joy. and apparently still am that silly 10 year old girl. I am grand with that though :) Seriously, i feel like I accomplished something for that girl...Really, really, thank you and so much love and good vibes are on to you from Ireland.
For anyone doing this scenario now, you MUST accept the early gift of pomegranates from Pharaoh. If you don't it will cut of the trade with Selima oasis, wich is the only city that sells wood and without it, it would be a very short pyramid.
Every now and then this game pulls me back in and I play for a few months then stop then come back. It's a fun game to use as a break from other games.
I imagine he missed this but the advisor at the beginning did mention embalming the pharaoh and a tomb of granite, so those were the hints that you need more than just the structure of the pyramid.
As before, I'll just edit in things to the comment as I watch the video. [another long comment again! Because the comments are long, there's a summary at the very end for simpler reading] :) As an early note, this is the last tutorial mission of the game, so now you are going to need to use the knowledge you've accumulated, as well as the comments you get from your fans, to improve to become the best player of the game at Hard. :) 10:30 Apart from Mastaba's, every monument requires Carpenter's Guild's (you probably work this out by end of video :P), they build ramps so the workers can reach the top of the monument :) 13:15 The most efficient method to build pyramids quickly is to have lots of quarries and little storage yard's. In my playthrough, I usually had no more than 2-3 SY's of stone (later on, as the monument size grows, I built more) 17:13 / 24:50 Why build 6 temples? You could have gotten by with 3 temples to Ptah, 2 each to the others and 10 shrines to Ptah, with 7 each to the others. You are still building tons of temples, you don't need to do that with Pharaoh. Build less temples (always ensuring the patron god has one extra) and more shrines. Less space wasted, improved desirability and god appeasement ;) 20:35 Again, you should not be building two housing blocks. Build one, evolve it as high as possible (if possible, get them up to Fancy Residence), then after you've maxed out population in that area, consider another block. As you go through the missions, prosperity will get higher as a target and this can only be reached by getting the housing up higher [in fact, a later mission actually forces you to have Palatial Estates, the highest housing type you can build, so it's imperative to build smaller amounts of housing and evolving them higher :)]. 23:11 As you worked out, hunting lodges don't always provide enough food. It's a good food source early on in the mission, but you should really be mass producing pomegranates (if you aren't aware, there's a food priority order system in Pharaoh, so pomegranates are actually favoured over Game Meat [Game is actually at the bottom of the list]) as it would be producing much much more for the people. 28:15 At the start of all missions from this point, you should scout out any hyena's/crocodile's/hippo's on the map and box them in as there's a very high chance you'll come across them now. At this point, you can use small statues to perform this, but later you'll get access to Walls, which function the same way. As a note, on military maps containing hyena's, killing them all will stop them spawning, but this is not possible on croc's / hippo's. 31:44 The reason, as you eventually worked out (after 3 minutes xD), is because you didn't dispatch any grave goods. This is a common mistake by nearly everyone who plays Pharaoh for the first time and reaches this mission, so you aren't alone (the game doesn't actually specifically tell you this, you have to work it out for yourself), especially since previous monuments didn't require grave goods (this is all part of the historical accuracy of the game). However, you need to know about grave goods almost immediately, because every mission from this point which includes a pyramid or mastaba [obelisks and sun temples don't require them] as a monument WILL include grave goods of some description. The monument rating includes the monuments you build AND all grave goods the game wants. "Necessary burial provisions" are all the items you were looking at on the Overseer of Monuments (in this case, you need to give away pottery, wood, linen, papyrus and granite): I can understand why this confuses you because this was not something that C3 ever talked about and wasn't mentioned in earlier missions: this is particularly the reason why a player from C3 finds it hard to move to Pharaoh, but you will definitely pick up on all these little things as you progress. == Some Notes == 1. That dock area might have worked out better being completed disconnected from the main city, and using the SY where pottery was being delivered as a "getting" SY to provide the pottery for the people. 2. Scribal Schools are going to become very important to mission success later in the game. Instead of placing two housing blocks and keeping the houses low level, build just one and evolve it really high (as I mentioned above) before building more. It actually would be possible to get 3500 in one housing block of this design when they're all evolved to Fancy Residence. 3. Again, wages should ALWAYS be matching what the kingdom pays. If the wages you pay are any lower or higher than the kingdom value, this is BAD and WILL cause major problems and lowered city sentiment, none of which is good for a city. Any time an event tells you that wages have fallen or risen, act on it immediately (it's virtually a demanding request from the game). 4. 21:40 This event is a bizarre tradition of Sierra games (you probably saw it in C3 with the Iron Mines). This is why you shouldn't rely on gold mines to fund income, just in case you either have this event collapsing them or (as you will soon find out) there is very little ore for it to be meaningful (most missions from this point will only have puny amounts of metal bearing ore for gold/copper and most of the time, it'll have to be directed to copper) Overall, you are getting there, but still a few things that need sorted out, specifically with housing blocks and not evolving them high enough. How you built the city at the start (drawing out two areas of housing, but only filling in one and getting it up to Fancy Residence) is how you should be starting all missions from this point as it will help you out in the long run (especially in maps which are very small or don't have a lot of space, which you will see over time, especially with the next mission ;))
Dr_Palace So? I'm not gonna make about 10 small comments when I can write it all in one. That's the benefit of Google+ comments for youtube. Plus, I give a clear warning at the start that it's a long comment. I'm not flooding Zakh's feed with a ton of comments, it's unnecessary and he's less likely to read it (he actually responded to a much longer comment than this on a previous video) Also, these long comments are mainly for Zakh's benefit so that he knows where to improve on the next mission, but I make them public so that others who watch this video can find the tips useful. :)
Zakh's current layout can only support a maximum population of 2154 per block (23 2x2 fancy residences and 2 1x1 spacious apartments), so he does need the second block. And remember, the patron god needs twice amount of worshiping than others. Magic numbers : 750, 375, 187 population coverage. Normal temple, Normal shrine/Patron temple, Patron shrine.
***** The fact he was able to reach 3600 with a bunch of spacious apartments makes me question whether the size of the housing block is the same or if it keeps changing (if it's just a little bit longer, he could get more). Again, as I said, better to evolve a housing block fully before building in another: in this case, he could have gone for one large block and then a smaller block to reach the goal. ;) Re: gods: I know, but I've always been able to play with just giving an extra temple and 3 shrines more to the patron god: building 6 temples each and no shrines doesn't help though.
Zakh's current 12x20 block evolved to fancy residence from spacious apartments can only house 368 extra people. No where near enough. A block has to be at least 12x34 large to encompass 3500+ pop, not be very feasible for most map. (and not stable I might add, due to walkers can't finish the inner loop) For gods, a city size of 3600, full coverage for normal gods is 5 temples, and 10 for patrons, but a coverage around 50% can keep gods from angry, 6 temples each is over kill for normal god, but keep patron at displease. I think Zakh just need to spend extra labors due to mass unemployment, and his outer loop has enough space to waste. Your way is also probably ok, if you can keep normal gods full coverage, extra one for patron can always keep it above 50% (even without festival)
djoser's pyramid is still there, for >4500 years now and it is still the second oldest stone building in egypt only. if you want something eternal, ask the egypts ! :D "Man fears time, but time fears the pyramids" arab wisdom
I did the gold mine on the far right side of the map as there is a bit of gold there and it is on the water table ( so you can build the palace right there and the gold bit becomes super efficient as your delivery guys dont need to travel far).
First thing I ask in these maps, especially when NOT in a desert oasis, is "CAN I FISH???" If yes, food problem solved. If not, THEN I check farms and hunting and stuff. ;-)
I honestly can't remember if anyone told you about the Bazaars or if you already know, but don't forget you can decide on what they can buy and sell. :)
Always make fence around hunting spot with a small entrance, build 1 hunting hut and place a yeard next to it (is very important to move hunting meat to it as quickly as possible!). and not to far granary with "take everything meat". also the building can be used to make a fence or just use the garden why? - the hunting animal does not run and 1 arrow kills it, ...usually does not miss: D. - 1 hunt hut is enough for 1 hunt spot. (max 2, but...) - about 7800 pieces of meat can be hunted during the year! (food for ~ 2,600 people)
ha ha --i was yelling at my screen to check the burial provisions--ha ha. When my monuments get close to being completed I start stockpiling the burial provisions so once the monument is complete I can send everything over.
Even though I watched this once, when I came to do this mission (tonight) I still managed to misread the burial provisions, and not get the needed pottery! :(
Oh thank God there is a video showing why I couldn't complete this mission. I remember playing it when I was younger and never completing it, just downloaded it recently and I got to the same point, I guess I was missing that thing where you go to Monument Overseer and dispatch some stuff xD
Hey Zakh, On this map i managed to lose by getting my kingdom favor to 0. I never once had a debt and I never once failed to provide the kingdom with what was asked of me. I managed to do everything else the mission needs and my kingdom favor kept falling down to 0. Pharaoh came for me and I lost. Ever seen this happen?
Did you send Pharaoh a personal gifts? (unlocked when you place your mansion) Kingdom Favour will auto drop within time (after all Pharaoh's requests aren't that common to maintain it on steady level) so those gifts are good way to keep Pharaoh in good mood toward you ( lavish gifts usually give +10 favour) however be careful not to set up too high personal salary to avoid PR problems so to speak ^_-).
Hi, what kind of software are you using for recording this game please? One of my friends asked me to do short tutorial in my language but neither Fraps or Dxtory are working on the game.
I'd assume it's some kind of eagle? A bald eagle sounds similar: ua-cam.com/video/Wy_9b58o99Y/v-deo.html Not sure exactly but a Golden Eagle is close: ua-cam.com/video/XqPok4jaHfk/v-deo.html
![Pharaoh ► Mission 12 Serabit Khadim - [1080p Widescreen] - Let's Play Game](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/1XewqUVLdR0/mqdefault.jpg)
![Pharaoh ► Mission 12 Serabit Khadim - [1080p Widescreen] - Let's Play Game](/img/tr.png)
![Pharaoh ► Mission 30 Sawu (Mersa Gawasis) - [1080p Widescreen] - Let's Play Game](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/NB_YLCkr2Nk/mqdefault.jpg)
![Pharaoh ► FINAL Mission 38 Hetepsenusret (Kahun) - [1080p Widescreen] - Let's Play Game](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/A5427W9sWdI/mqdefault.jpg)
![Pharaoh ► Mission 37 Rowarty (Avaris) - [1080p Widescreen] - Let's Play Game](/img/n.gif)
Welcome to my Pharaoh playlist! Each mission is edited into a single video and it's all modded into 1080p HD widescreen. Want to buy Pharaoh (or other games) AND support this channel? Use this GOG referral link! af.gog.com/game/pharaoh_cleopatra?as=1715648857
I CANNOT ! I started playing this game when it came out in 1999. My Father pirated it for me. This was the level that made me give up. I had hit all the required points. I even reduced my population down to 3500 EXACTLY! I was so frustrated. I gave up. At the age of 32 in 2021 I started to play again and came to the same issue all those years later... I cursed the damn game, remembering that I just assumed 'cause my Dad had pirated it that it was a glitch I could not overcome. Encountering it after buying it just pissed me off further. Until now. I had 1000 papyrus in my stock, and I had not realized the tomb needed provisions because I had the 19/19 score....HOW! I had playing all the custom maps where this was required!! Sweet ever loving Jesus (says the atheist) but thank you. THANK YOU!!!! On to level 12 I go 23 years later at the age of 33... FUCK YES... also feeling like a dope but jaysus I was a lonely 10 year old, this game gave me such joy. and apparently still am that silly 10 year old girl. I am grand with that though :) Seriously, i feel like I accomplished something for that girl...Really, really, thank you and so much love and good vibes are on to you from Ireland.
lmao i like your enthuthiasm 🤣
There is nothing more rewarding than building these great monuments.
For anyone doing this scenario now, you MUST accept the early gift of pomegranates from Pharaoh. If you don't it will cut of the trade with Selima oasis, wich is the only city that sells wood and without it, it would be a very short pyramid.
I bought it from someone else, it's not just Selima
Wait so you can grow pomegranates but if you don't accept their pomegranate no money for you or wood
@@theCatsitter878 That is a lie. In this scenario it's only Selima Oasis. In other scenarios you can buy it fro others.
👏
Every now and then this game pulls me back in and I play for a few months then stop then come back. It's a fun game to use as a break from other games.
I imagine he missed this but the advisor at the beginning did mention embalming the pharaoh and a tomb of granite, so those were the hints that you need more than just the structure of the pyramid.
As before, I'll just edit in things to the comment as I watch the video. [another long comment again! Because the comments are long, there's a summary at the very end for simpler reading] :)
As an early note, this is the last tutorial mission of the game, so now you are going to need to use the knowledge you've accumulated, as well as the comments you get from your fans, to improve to become the best player of the game at Hard. :)
10:30 Apart from Mastaba's, every monument requires Carpenter's Guild's (you probably work this out by end of video :P), they build ramps so the workers can reach the top of the monument :)
13:15 The most efficient method to build pyramids quickly is to have lots of quarries and little storage yard's. In my playthrough, I usually had no more than 2-3 SY's of stone (later on, as the monument size grows, I built more)
17:13 / 24:50 Why build 6 temples? You could have gotten by with 3 temples to Ptah, 2 each to the others and 10 shrines to Ptah, with 7 each to the others. You are still building tons of temples, you don't need to do that with Pharaoh. Build less temples (always ensuring the patron god has one extra) and more shrines. Less space wasted, improved desirability and god appeasement ;)
20:35 Again, you should not be building two housing blocks. Build one, evolve it as high as possible (if possible, get them up to Fancy Residence), then after you've maxed out population in that area, consider another block. As you go through the missions, prosperity will get higher as a target and this can only be reached by getting the housing up higher [in fact, a later mission actually forces you to have Palatial Estates, the highest housing type you can build, so it's imperative to build smaller amounts of housing and evolving them higher :)].
23:11 As you worked out, hunting lodges don't always provide enough food. It's a good food source early on in the mission, but you should really be mass producing pomegranates (if you aren't aware, there's a food priority order system in Pharaoh, so pomegranates are actually favoured over Game Meat [Game is actually at the bottom of the list]) as it would be producing much much more for the people.
28:15 At the start of all missions from this point, you should scout out any hyena's/crocodile's/hippo's on the map and box them in as there's a very high chance you'll come across them now. At this point, you can use small statues to perform this, but later you'll get access to Walls, which function the same way. As a note, on military maps containing hyena's, killing them all will stop them spawning, but this is not possible on croc's / hippo's.
31:44 The reason, as you eventually worked out (after 3 minutes xD), is because you didn't dispatch any grave goods. This is a common mistake by nearly everyone who plays Pharaoh for the first time and reaches this mission, so you aren't alone (the game doesn't actually specifically tell you this, you have to work it out for yourself), especially since previous monuments didn't require grave goods (this is all part of the historical accuracy of the game).
However, you need to know about grave goods almost immediately, because every mission from this point which includes a pyramid or mastaba [obelisks and sun temples don't require them] as a monument WILL include grave goods of some description. The monument rating includes the monuments you build AND all grave goods the game wants. "Necessary burial provisions" are all the items you were looking at on the Overseer of Monuments (in this case, you need to give away pottery, wood, linen, papyrus and granite): I can understand why this confuses you because this was not something that C3 ever talked about and wasn't mentioned in earlier missions: this is particularly the reason why a player from C3 finds it hard to move to Pharaoh, but you will definitely pick up on all these little things as you progress.
== Some Notes ==
1. That dock area might have worked out better being completed disconnected from the main city, and using the SY where pottery was being delivered as a "getting" SY to provide the pottery for the people.
2. Scribal Schools are going to become very important to mission success later in the game. Instead of placing two housing blocks and keeping the houses low level, build just one and evolve it really high (as I mentioned above) before building more. It actually would be possible to get 3500 in one housing block of this design when they're all evolved to Fancy Residence.
3. Again, wages should ALWAYS be matching what the kingdom pays. If the wages you pay are any lower or higher than the kingdom value, this is BAD and WILL cause major problems and lowered city sentiment, none of which is good for a city. Any time an event tells you that wages have fallen or risen, act on it immediately (it's virtually a demanding request from the game).
4. 21:40 This event is a bizarre tradition of Sierra games (you probably saw it in C3 with the Iron Mines). This is why you shouldn't rely on gold mines to fund income, just in case you either have this event collapsing them or (as you will soon find out) there is very little ore for it to be meaningful (most missions from this point will only have puny amounts of metal bearing ore for gold/copper and most of the time, it'll have to be directed to copper)
Overall, you are getting there, but still a few things that need sorted out, specifically with housing blocks and not evolving them high enough. How you built the city at the start (drawing out two areas of housing, but only filling in one and getting it up to Fancy Residence) is how you should be starting all missions from this point as it will help you out in the long run (especially in maps which are very small or don't have a lot of space, which you will see over time, especially with the next mission ;))
Nobody is gonna read it lol. It's too long.
Dr_Palace So? I'm not gonna make about 10 small comments when I can write it all in one. That's the benefit of Google+ comments for youtube.
Plus, I give a clear warning at the start that it's a long comment. I'm not flooding Zakh's feed with a ton of comments, it's unnecessary and he's less likely to read it (he actually responded to a much longer comment than this on a previous video)
Also, these long comments are mainly for Zakh's benefit so that he knows where to improve on the next mission, but I make them public so that others who watch this video can find the tips useful. :)
Zakh's current layout can only support a maximum population of 2154 per block (23 2x2 fancy residences and 2 1x1 spacious apartments), so he does need the second block.
And remember, the patron god needs twice amount of worshiping than others. Magic numbers : 750, 375, 187 population coverage. Normal temple, Normal shrine/Patron temple, Patron shrine.
***** The fact he was able to reach 3600 with a bunch of spacious apartments makes me question whether the size of the housing block is the same or if it keeps changing (if it's just a little bit longer, he could get more). Again, as I said, better to evolve a housing block fully before building in another: in this case, he could have gone for one large block and then a smaller block to reach the goal. ;)
Re: gods: I know, but I've always been able to play with just giving an extra temple and 3 shrines more to the patron god: building 6 temples each and no shrines doesn't help though.
Zakh's current 12x20 block evolved to fancy residence from spacious apartments can only house 368 extra people. No where near enough. A block has to be at least 12x34 large to encompass 3500+ pop, not be very feasible for most map. (and not stable I might add, due to walkers can't finish the inner loop)
For gods, a city size of 3600, full coverage for normal gods is 5 temples, and 10 for patrons, but a coverage around 50% can keep gods from angry, 6 temples each is over kill for normal god, but keep patron at displease. I think Zakh just need to spend extra labors due to mass unemployment, and his outer loop has enough space to waste. Your way is also probably ok, if you can keep normal gods full coverage, extra one for patron can always keep it above 50% (even without festival)
djoser's pyramid is still there, for >4500 years now and it is still the second oldest stone building in egypt only.
if you want something eternal, ask the egypts ! :D
"Man fears time, but time fears the pyramids" arab wisdom
Man you are my Nostalgia god, keep up the good work!
I did the gold mine on the far right side of the map as there is a bit of gold there and it is on the water table ( so you can build the palace right there and the gold bit becomes super efficient as your delivery guys dont need to travel far).
Been watching your vids and they got me playing this game again.
Love your content, keep up the good job!
Thank you! Glad you're back into the game too, have fun!
Really good to see how you got through it. I like the way you structure your edits. Good luck with the motivation to complete the rest of the levels.
First thing I ask in these maps, especially when NOT in a desert oasis, is "CAN I FISH???" If yes, food problem solved. If not, THEN I check farms and hunting and stuff. ;-)
Just a note, hyenas are WORST than C3 wolves!! Avoid them at all costs if no military is allowed.
You win by providing the WHOLE of the burial provisions!
I honestly can't remember if anyone told you about the Bazaars or if you already know, but don't forget you can decide on what they can buy and sell. :)
Always make fence around hunting spot with a small entrance, build 1 hunting hut and place a yeard next to it (is very important to move hunting meat to it as quickly as possible!). and not to far granary with "take everything meat".
also the building can be used to make a fence or just use the garden
why?
- the hunting animal does not run and 1 arrow kills it, ...usually does not miss: D.
- 1 hunt hut is enough for 1 hunt spot. (max 2, but...)
- about 7800 pieces of meat can be hunted during the year! (food for ~ 2,600 people)
"Do you thonk gods from yhe sky will buold this" I guess it's the plain minimum considered all the temples raised for them.
After 11 videos finallyyy roadblocks are used outside of the housing block thank you hahaha
ha ha --i was yelling at my screen to check the burial provisions--ha ha. When my monuments get close to being completed I start stockpiling the burial provisions so once the monument is complete I can send everything over.
Even though I watched this once, when I came to do this mission (tonight) I still managed to misread the burial provisions, and not get the needed pottery! :(
Hah! I was replaying Pharaoh just now and also totally missed the Burial Overseer tab 😆, wondering why I'm not winning so I come here to check.
Who is here in 2020?
I'm still here.
Im also here
I am here in 2021
2022. Started playing again after 20 years
Great episode & great series! :D
I guess ill have to play some pharaoh this summer...
Oh thank God there is a video showing why I couldn't complete this mission. I remember playing it when I was younger and never completing it, just downloaded it recently and I got to the same point, I guess I was missing that thing where you go to Monument Overseer and dispatch some stuff xD
I've done that before! Completely forgot about burial provisions many times.
I love ur series gamerzakh...whens the next episode!! :)
Yay another episode
Hey Zakh,
On this map i managed to lose by getting my kingdom favor to 0. I never once had a debt and I never once failed to provide the kingdom with what was asked of me. I managed to do everything else the mission needs and my kingdom favor kept falling down to 0. Pharaoh came for me and I lost.
Ever seen this happen?
Did you send Pharaoh a personal gifts? (unlocked when you place your mansion)
Kingdom Favour will auto drop within time (after all Pharaoh's requests aren't that common to maintain it on steady level) so those gifts are good way to keep Pharaoh in good mood toward you ( lavish gifts usually give +10 favour) however be careful not to set up too high personal salary to avoid PR problems so to speak ^_-).
Note that tax collectors, schools and libraries need papyrus to run. They won't be serving the city if you don't have any papyrus.
Tax Collectors don't need Papyrus: they need a palace to be placed.
Sajuuk's Let's Play's
Thanks for correcting my mistake. I must have confused with the tax collector of Emperor (currently playing both).
emtkarlsland Haha, yeah it's easy to get confused between games of this nature! :P
Hi, what kind of software are you using for recording this game please? One of my friends asked me to do short tutorial in my language but neither Fraps or Dxtory are working on the game.
OBS works best for me and it's free. Set it to record desktop and play in fullscreen.
Does anyone know what bird that sound effect at 3:49 was made by? I've heard in a lot of media and I'm curious what the hell actually made that sound.
I'd assume it's some kind of eagle? A bald eagle sounds similar: ua-cam.com/video/Wy_9b58o99Y/v-deo.html Not sure exactly but a Golden Eagle is close: ua-cam.com/video/XqPok4jaHfk/v-deo.html
Lol this mission took me 729 months. I mean, who needs wood for a step pyramid…
How many units/soldiers can you have in one map?
You can have a maximum of 6 forts and 6 ships.
@@GamerZakh So 96 units/soldiers?
@@emwjmannen2 Yeah but chariots only have 16 per fort, so it depends on what units you train.
Is this a good game?
Yes, it's a masterpiece.
How do I get this game for my windows 7?
Duvmasta You buy it from gog.com
Watched🙏🏽
you forgot tax collectors?
I never use them. No need for them if you know how to set up proper trading industry
cp every mission. meh.
Wft is this -_-
A Pharaoh let's play.
GamerZakh You should have said something sarcastic, then said "this is a Pharaoh LP" at the end xD
Lol XD
+Fυℓℓвяιηg This. IS. ANCIENT EEEEEGYYYYPT!!!
**Ostrich-kick into a bottomless pit**