Table News: Bags... on Ice!
Вставка
- Опубліковано 24 січ 2023
- Florida is back on his bs, Cowboys lost, and George Santon lied (surprise!) about something
---Patreon---
Do you want early access to my content and other benefits?
Sign up at / ben_brainard for as little as $3 a month!
---Next Shows---
02/03: Burbank, CA - Flappers Comedy Club
02/09: Salt Lake City, UT - Wiseguys
03/16: Austin, TX - Cap City Comedy Club
03/23: Ontario, CA - Improv
04/13: San Jose, CA - Improv
05/07: Irvine, CA - Improv
05/11: Oxnard, CA - Levity Live
05/17: Kansas City, MO - Kansas City Improv
05/31: Columbus, OH - Funny Bone Comedy Club
---Links---
Shows and Tickets: www.benbrainard.com/shows
Email List: www.benbrainard.com/sign-up
Booking: www.benbrainard.com/contact
Store: www.benbrainard.com/store
UA-cam: / ben_brainard
Facebook: / comedianbenbrainard
Twitter: / ben_brainard
Instagram: / ben_brainard
TikTok: / ben_brainard
Discord: / discord - Комедії
It feels weird that Florida has always been a harmless goofball, but now he's got DeSantis putting words in his mouth
Heres the thing though. It doesnt matter. You could put Betty White 《May her Golden soul rest in peace》 as governor and it would still be weird stuff coming out of his mouth. Its not the person...its the place
i'd suggest the average floridian is way less stupid than that decrapshit
A goofball sure, but never harmless
You know nothing of our History...
~Florida Native.
Florida is about to get a WHOLE lot creepier.
Love how Florida wastes no time acknowledging Spain as his mom.
Didn't he call Spain his Dad in one sketch though ?
So what is it?!?
@@liblib620 Depends on the day, probably.
@@fairycat23 yap it all depends on the culture and can be used interchangeably from what I found online
@@itwasagoodideaatthetime7980 we should congratulate her for the transition
The best insult is when Florida asked Texas where the Cowboys will be watching the playoffs this year.
At the rate they're going, they won't be able to watch their last Superbowl win unless it's on the History Channel. 🤣🤣🤣
@@DeannaJacksonDJsDelectables true that's why I'm a Packers fan
@@connerlackey3952 Same with y'all
@@thejackattack hey our last Super Bowl win was 2011 that's a hell of a lot closer to now then 1995
@@connerlackey3952 I'm not a Cowboys fan
That part where Texas and Louisiana just sit back and watch Florida fumble on why he banned AP African American studies, though. 🤣🤣🤣
'Are they married?'
'Oh they're defiently married'
*sighs* *opens up a Google doc*
I feel like this episode just sparked like 30 more fanfictions, also there is gonna be smut
@@Larsen_illustrations Whaaaaaaa nooooo never 😂
@@BillTewks i saw the AO3 tag
Fr. I saw some hints of CaliYork, TexLoui,and FloYork. Now to wait for the fanfics 😌✨
@@DakotaEXE-vc8wv yep, i just hope the tags are funny
I appreciate Ben's commitment to telling Florida news without making Florida as actually evil as his legislators are, to make sure that the Lovable Idiot doesn't become a monster.
Me someone born in Florida: oh wait we we're meant to be monsters
Evil? Nah we just didn’t want race based educational courses.
I like to think he's leaving space for those of us who aren't so bigoted 😅
@@MultiRokusho bruh you banned teachers from having classroom libraries. (Or should I say the veterans you're giving teaching jobs instead of paying teachers more money?) No one in history who banned books didn't turn out to be the bad guys.
@@hopelessromantic3786 didn’t your side go on a Harry Potter book burning spree recently?
New York just wanting to go home and then getting increasingly aggressive is my fave
yes, because we want to go home. we done with your ( speaks new yorker )
“Maybe you should leave the funny stuff to the professionals” 😂 It’s usually best!
How does he portray Wisconsin so freaking well
He eats 3 Blocks of cheese right before filming.
As a Wisconsinite myself, the only thing that he gets wrong is how much we hate Illinois. We basically act like New Yorkers whenever we encounter any FIBS.
Lots of practice. If it’s anything like his practice for Loui, he spent at least 27 hours researching the accent
I’m from Wisconsin and I can say that he nailed it
Have you been to Florida. Lots of people to learn from.
The sudden transition I experienced several years ago when a game I'd always known as "bean bag toss" was suddenly being called "cornhole" by pretty much the whole country is my strongest piece of evidence for the "Mandela effect" theory of regular parallel dimension hopping! I'm kidding (but I'm kind of not).
Omg same
Same what the heck
So THAT'S what that opening bit was about!
I still call it bean bag toss.
Or floppy horseshoes
Look, I moved to the Midwest from the Southwest and it took me a while to realize cornholing wasn't a euphemism.
Texas: "That is actually what the governor's office said."
That's got big Tina-Fey-reading-Sara-Palin energy.
I love when the midwestern states talk because I understand them perfectly and it is so funny
I 100% agree
I miss Indiana
As someone from Illinois I agree. But Ben this is awesome
“Yeah no yeah” and “Ope” are daily vernacular! He portrays them so well 😂
@@rachelpickham954 In Indiana we say Oop
Texas and Louis talking about Florida is a glorious kibbutz I did not know I needed in my life
Loui and Florida, giving Cali shit about his mum is funny 🤣
esp since FLorida and cali have the same mom
@@WardNightstone So do Texas, Arizona & New Mexico. Wouldn't it be hilarious if someone mentioned that to them all in a skit. 🤣
The fact that they even have a mom
I thought that was why TX looked so uncomfortable about his contribution- unless it was directed at DCs mom, which I guess would be Britain. 🤔😂
@@hks2377Britain, with his step-mom of France. The Netherlands is out of the picture now.
It never ceases to amaze me that your New York impression is identical to a guy I knew in college who was from the Bronx. Right down to the beanie.
Idk man, maybe he was method acting
Tractor chases are more entertaining then a nascar crash
nascar crashes are always a little scary to me cause of the actual danger involved, i can never fully enjoy them cause i'm worried for the drivers. tractor chases however are pure unadulterated fun.
As a person born and raised in Daytona Beach… NASCAR crashes are not entertaining. #RIP3
@@Ben_Brainard I agree with ya
@@Ben_Brainard yep
Nascar crashes are never entertaining, nor is NHRA ones. And yes, I grew up with both. I prefer NHRA though.
This series keeps me calm. At least one person out there comprehends how dumb this nation gets, and I take solace in that.
If you can't beat 'em, laugh at 'em.
New York and California are friends. He made a friend y'all! XD
As much as NY can be a friend.
Calling someone "friend" and acting like we want to ever do anything to actually help them out are two very different things.
We'll help out just about anybody. Calling them a friend can be a double-edged sword.
I thought Spain was Florida's dad? Congrats on the transition Spain if that's the case!
Probably swaps every so often. After all, it is Florida's parent... Coping with that must be painful.
GENDERFLUID SPAIN
This whole thing is starting to give me hetalia flashbacks and im not sure if im willing to go back in time a decade
I never thought I'd ship California and New York, but here we are...
To show my age: my brain still goes "Cathode Ray Tube" when CRT is mentioned
Thank goodness I'm not the only one!
Yeah, my first thought is always:"what do tube Tvs gotta do with anything?" Then someone spells it out, and I just wonder "was that really the best name they could come up with?"
I was really confused when they implied that that wasn't what they meant
And BLM means "Bureau of Land Management," depending on where you are in the country.
@@outlaw832005 Right?
And about half the time I see MTG I wonder why serious news is covering a collectible card game (Magic: The Gathering).
I'm kinda surprised that there has been nothing on California's bill to ban body armor sells in the state
Wait we're doing that?
I'm surprised we don't spend education funds we don't have buying two per every student.
Why are they banning body armour? do they want more gun deaths than they already have?
Why did my brain think of actual knight armor.
@@elchomper.1063 the irony in this comment is I'm a Texas native who is currently in high school
@@Ushio01 It's supposedly because too many mass shooters are wearing them and the cops cant kill them.
1. Ben started strong with the tractor chase and the no fly zone, but the kids in my life got the rest of the stories, so they're happy (And looking up the tractor chase right now).
2. Yep... New York is among the top contenders, but Louie once again reminded me why is still my favorite. Laissez les bons temps rouler! Bob and weave!
3. The Cowboys have nobody to blame but themselves.
3. This is one of the best Table skits you've done in a while, Ben! Hope you're feeling better soon!
I do wonder if we will ever see other countries interact with the states. Especially now that Florida called Spain his mom.
Didn't Florida call Spain his Dad in one sketch though ?
Florida replied Spain when Louisiana said his moms on here. But who knows maybe in the future It could change.
@@itwasagoodideaatthetime7980 it’s because
Spain is transgender
@@itwasagoodideaatthetime7980 no, that was Juan Ponce
Now thinking about it I realized two things Louisiana parent would be France so that means there related to Quebec. And two if Texas parent was Mexico who’s parent was Spain and possible brother of Florida. Would that mean Florida is Texas uncle?
When Florida said " I'm a little turned on" I had to rewind. It's God damn 3am and I sick as hell. That made my day
I stand by the name being corn hole, Also I've been in a corn hole tournament before. I lost very badly
If you're a sore lover and butthurt about it, is that a sore corn hole
Bean bag toss, because my brain has been corrupted by late night convention panels
Californian here, Chicago is absolutely incorrect, Milwaukee pronounces it correctly.
Did it hurt?
...or was it really a big winner for you? 😃
I need a shirt that says "I got cornholed in Wisconsin"
Lmfao-
I guarantee that's a thing already
Corn. Please don't make me remember that late night anime convention panel.
*le gasp* SAME THATS AWESOME-
The T-shirt company Raygun has one for Iowa.
That was the perfect ending! It reminded me of get a rope from those salsa commercials!!
I think that ending was one of your best. From the second CA joined all the way to the end
Ya being from California that is perfect new York clearly knows how to pick and choose a battle where California is too innocent to see what he walks into
That last bit about the cowboys got damn.
the amount of "shrugs" energy in the beginning was amazing
omg we're back to gov having to tell the crew to roll the intro
I will never stop enjoying the 4th wall breaks in Ben’s shorts
Why are you in Ben's shorts? And last episode I saw, TFM Broke the mug again, no mirrors or walls though.
I love the relationship of California and New York
Heavily blue but in very different ways.
I don’t think New York is forming a polycule with California and Austin.
Florida's comment about the Cowboys killed me 🤣🤣 great vid as always Ben!
even though i know logically he films every state's lines at the same time I always wanna imagine him frantically changing outfits between lines
New York ones again proving he is my spirit guide
Florida as a long time Florida resident and also long time Bills fan I appreciate you cutting them some slack and going after Dallas instead 😂
2:35 has to be one of my favorite parts, most proud I have ever been in NY and I am from NJ. texas looked a smidge scared.
Well that followed by Florida asking about the cowboys
I'm really liking the cold opens!
I'm sorry, as a French Canadian, the way Louie says 'mon dieu' made me chuckle
Patois and Quebecois are so closely related... Green eyed 'Eers come out to defend their liaisons dangereux
California and New York have got to be my favorite characters from this series!! Great video like always! :]
food is good.
good is food
these are wise words, take them in as your own
Love it! 😂😂😂
As an eagles fan I loved that cowboys joke 😂
Oh, I sell girl Scout cookies in Texas and during superbowl weekend we had two donation jars on the table, one with a picture of the eagles and one with the chiefs. Right before the booth, we filled the eagles jar with maybe 20 dollars in ones. During the entire booth, we had frantic people running up and stuffing money in the chief's jar. Several people said, 'As long as it's not the eagles'
It was funny 😁
BTW, California loves chases (at least Southern California). We stop everything, within reason, to watch one.
I remember when someone set up a service to text your phone when a chase was on TV.
True lol. I've been on the road while happened too lmao. God bless the 5
Shoulda brought in Charlie Berens for the byeg of byegs (bag of bags)
He does the episode where Wisconsin names its cities...
The fact that I was literally just watching one of your shorts on my fyp-
These get better every week. As an Illinois native, IT’S BAGS!
Day 'i lost count' of saying:
You're awesome Ben
Loui is my favorite 😁
I hope everyone is having a good day
Should ask Florida when the book burnings will start, considering ALL books have to be inspected before going into a classroom.
Just to let you know IT SNOWED IN THE VALLEY OF ARIZONA!!!! THATS CRAZY!!
Texas and Louisiana as the peanut gallery might be the best thing ever.
The new openings are great
Yeah I am loving these cold opens XD
Florida’s going to the hospital. He’s not gonna die, but we have to protect everyone else.
That's all we need is a prison break parody of Louie driving (drunk of course) Florida in the flamingo boxers and Mardi gras beads only on. CDC comes in to talk about his other social concerns (STDs monkey pox and medicine resistant TB) only to find Puerto Rico in Florida Man's outfit... Though I like Ben's CDC over the newer guy but I'm partial to how much he stutters as CDC cause it's so darned cute Sha.
2:36 idk why but this moment here just makes me happy.
Lmao. Louie says Bob n Weave Bob n Weave ! Gotta love him!😂😂
Congrats this is the first thing to make me laugh out loud in months, good job
How many episodes have I missed😭
As a fella from Boone (tractor chase) living in CO now, I really appreciated the mention!
When are you headed west again Ben??
THE YOUR MOM JOKE FROM TEXAS TO GOV I CAN'T BREATHE 😭
Out here in Temecula CA they banned anything about race
You literally can’t teach about slavery, WWII, and any other important historical event because it was all pretty much racially motivsted
Gotta say, something about Louie's "bob an' weave! bob an' weave!" makes me laugh and it's now one of my favorite lines in the series
Also idk if it's intentional, but I kinda like how it looks like CA looks to New York, like he's finally asking for some help, and New York's like, "Guess I gotta help this loser out."
Anyone remember when CRT was a type of TV?
Once LCD (and now OLED) took over, that particular use of the acronym has quickly gone the way of the dinosaur, hasn't it.
@@benjaminoechsli1941 Even once those took over most people still understood what it meant, in fact it probably only became commonly used after other types came out since before then it meant all TV's were just called TV's. Also there are still a couple of niche reasons they can be better and at some point I'm probably going to mention that CRT's are actually good things and will have to explain what I mean.
I thought it was therapy
TEXAS REALLY SAID "CUT THE CAMERAS DEADASS"
Fun fact: the next episode is technically the 200th of the series!
Awesome glad NC was in this one 😁my home state
Michigan: who wants to talk about California walking into that obvious trap
Just amazing as usual. I so totally ❤️ NY. Lol
wiscansin
"Bob 'n weave! Bob 'n weave! 🤣🤣🤣
"Turn the cameras off" give Florida at least a 5 minute start
"That got weirdly aggressive, I'm a little turned on" Jesus Christ
New York keeps on being my favorite, he's so aggressive and based (maybe it's due to the fact I'm from upstate New York)
The ending 😂😂💀
As an Illinoisian, I had no clue bags was also called cornhole until this video.
2:40
Florida whaaaaat 💀💀💀
*THE FANFIC ARE ALL I CAN THINK OF-*
I love how Florida made fun of the cowboys. It made me laugh 😃
Corn hole! The correct way to say it!
Pennsylvania should’ve came in to laugh for a second
Anyone actually know why New York calls California "B"? That's new to this episode. I doubt it's short for a pet name.
Idk why he said that but when someone calls someone "B" it supposedly mean that they are talking to their lover soooooooooo
I ain't a New Yorker but in my experience, B is usually short for "bitch." It's an affectionate way of saying it, from what I understand.
Like telling someone, "You my bitch," but like, in a friendly way lol
Sometimes also means babe, take that as you will
Personally I would prefer cornhole to become our national sport over baseball. But that might literally just be me
Question from Australia - WTF is cornholing?
@@itwasagoodideaatthetime7980 cornhole is a sport that’s kinda like horseshoes. Basically you have a board with a hole in it, and bags filled with beans or corn or some kind of loose filling with some weight. The object it to throw the bag into the hole on the board, 1 point if it lands on the board, 2 if it’s hanging into the hole and three if it goes through the hole. You and your opponent take turns throwing bags (either 3 or 4 a round can’t remember) and you can knock the bags in or off the board.
bro i aint watching people throw bags in holes as a national sport 💀
@@c.o.f.f.e.e.. you watch balls being hit with sticks now?
Well we're halfway there. Baseball is not and has not been nthe national sport by any measure in a long time.
This is my only source of news.
Great video.
Wooo! North Carolina showed up!
Wooo x2! We didn't embarrass ourselves!
Florida getting turned on by violence is very on brand...
Weirdly, this ain't the first time he's displayed that behavior
I always get confused when people abbreviate Critical Race Theory to CRT, because CRT just makes me think if those criterion-referenced tests (also abbreviated to CRT) that schools do here
I had never heard of Critical Race Theory until recent years
California and New York acting like a married couple isn't that surprising.
Can't wait till next week when Florida realizes Splash Mountain has been changed
It's crazy how the actual reason for banning education was the fact it didn't cover something they would've been banned for.
Not to mention at this moment Steven Crowder is saying a $50 million contract was a "slave contract" because The Daily Wire would deduct his pay as long as he was demonetized. This entire thing between Crowder and the DW is something Crowder would've made a segment about calling Gen Z lazy and ungreatful for, but now that it happened to Crowder it's justified.
This goes to show how the Far-Right is finally eating itself and hopefully we can return America to a semi-loving country that isn't always about to explode politically speaking.
Judging by the current state of things I highly doubt that will ever happen; no one wants to agree on anything let alone consider the other side's argument
Not all Texans like the cowboys. Many of us enjoy seeing them get their hopes up annually just to blow it in the playoffs.
Aw! If San Diego were a State it would be you. The Alamo was the first losing team to be remembered as the best (intentionally ignoring the movie 300) then San Diego ran with it and then the team ran away. We still have the Martyrs I mean Padres though...
I am very disappointed that the Illinois character is no longer dressed in all Cubs wear
What is this scam you don’t even have the same username
I'm glad he started out calling it cornhole because I have never heard it called bags and would have been so lost.
Get im, texas, get im🤣🤣
California and New York are married- yay!! Florida and Loui know all
10 bucks says Florida & Loui are too. 😉😘
@@itwasagoodideaatthetime7980 full support of that 🥰😘
@@itwasagoodideaatthetime7980 i personally believe it's an illegal marriage
Is anyone going to talk about how New York went after the states on Californias signal
It's so ungodly funny that the no-fly list was leaked by a swedish nonbinary plural ancom furry catgirl with a plush named bingle. Like that's genuinely amazing I love that for her
Wuh?
new york is honestly relatable 💀
first idaho and oregon, then iowa and wisconsin, now california and new york. lots of marriages between states happening at this table /lh
The Tractor chase in Boone. My college town still making headlines.