Growing up, I was always painfully aware when adults would talk to me in that patronizing, high-pitch, dumbed-down voice they use to talk to children. It still happens as an adult sometimes too, most recently (ironically) during the autism assessment itself. So annoying.
I had a predator use infantilization against me. He said he questioned whether with my autism diagnosis, I, age 30-something, was capable of sexual consent. I was insulted but he used my offended reaction to coerce my consent on a later occasion.
My heart goes out to you, and thank you for sharing. I've been coerced and manipulated in the past, too. You deserve to be validated & treated with respect.
I was deemed as someone who could never have a chance of independence before I was even 10. Ever since preschool I've been forced into special ed programs that really heavily infantalized me up until the age of 12-13 which is when I finally had an option to opt out of it (the grade school I attended forced me into it regularly every week simply because of my diagnoses even though I clearly didn't need it, and infact all it did was severely hinder my progress in my normal classes). Today I have free will away from it though it feels like schools and organizations and what not still try to push it onto me every chance they get. They never put faith in me before I was even of age and during the age in where you start growing your independence simply because of my diagnosis (my autism doesn't hinder my life that severely). Jokes on them now I'm 19, studying for my own career which I hope I will be able to succeed in some day, got a job after a year of hunting, close to getting my drivers license and I finally managed to fix up my social life and make some friends after a lifetime of severe struggle. It never felt like all those who infantalized me believed I'd be capable of any of that, they all treated me like a 6 year old no matter how old I got.
I have wondered about this one. I joke a lot, have a 'stoner' style of humour and tend to avoid conversations that involve pragmatism and things of a practical nature. I cant chitchat and the only time I talk seriously is on deep matters that involve psychology, politics, sociology and behaviour. I think this all stems from the fact that we simply have very little regard for our social norms. We dont value all of the humdrum things in life that others do, I just tune out. Someone was talking about their car, repairs and insurance etc and I just wanted to them to shut the fuck up. Same with base and passive pleasures such as food, drink, holidays, a movie, events, its all bland, prescriptive and lacking true engagement just by the way in which they talk about things. In reality we have no interest in things for the sake of things, for the sake of existence. I see ppl dry up with time, become less of who they were due to responsibilities, its like theyve died by consumption of all things that take their toll such as work, mortgages, kids and the like. I dont understand the reverence and respect ppl give to certain norms in our society as many of them only serve to delude ppl and many of them just paradoxical, ironic or just plain contradictory. For better and worse we cant be indoctrinated by social norms and ques, they cant really alter our perception, so we find it hard to adult as being an adult requires just as much a delusion in their pursuits as kids do for Santa. Ive found myself having to defend myself often in my style of intereaction, the fact that ive never gotten a career or profession, still living with parents on and off. Ppl have this subtle yet tyrannical expectation that you should yield to their norms, that what they dont understand is offensive and wrong, its as though theirs one large hive-mind that seeks to bend everyone to its will, voiced by neurotypicals. Those who are free pay the cost for it.
As an autistic person I still see myself as a child, despite I'm an adult. I don't know if it's "normal". And I look younger too, especially my baby voice.
I very much relate to that! At least physically, I felt very not-adult for a long time. I think it's normal to embrace childhood! More people should. They'd have a lot more fun.
@@Topg1 Dan Aykroyd coined the phrase, which means you're not afraid to say you're autistic, and that you're comfortable with who you are as a neurodivergant person
Btw I just wanna say how eloquent and charming your delivery is, you have a way with words and manner even if it seems you are mulling it over as you speak. You come at these topics with a lightness but also respect the fact that they do take their toll, excellent content as usual! :-)
My mother was a narcissist and made sure I felt unwelcome when I was in a group of adults when I had no interest in missing out on the adult conversations and it was so difficult to be left out of them. I would also try to be part of them and she would always look down and say “the adults are talking” and roll her eyes and do this grandiose body language flare as she said it
great video I will Groupon TikTok that I follow and one of the girls when she thought I wasn’t listening said that I had the mentality of someone younger people can’t help the perception that they have of you and it can be a struggle to get them to see you differently or to change their perception of you test as someone having at my old intellectual disability although like think I’m a intelligent person I’m definitely mentally handicapped when I was born and had a brain hemorrhage which resulted in the birth stroke, also blind, my right eye, and my palsy
Growing up, I was always painfully aware when adults would talk to me in that patronizing, high-pitch, dumbed-down voice they use to talk to children. It still happens as an adult sometimes too, most recently (ironically) during the autism assessment itself. So annoying.
Next time they do it tell em to shut the f**k up.
I hear mirroring people is considered polite most of the time.
You could try it, if you don't mind the relationship flaming out.
I know that feeling 😅
Even as a child, I didn't like that artificial, affected attitude from some adults. Felt disrespectful.
It's my number one pet peeve.
I had a predator use infantilization against me. He said he questioned whether with my autism diagnosis, I, age 30-something, was capable of sexual consent. I was insulted but he used my offended reaction to coerce my consent on a later occasion.
My heart goes out to you, and thank you for sharing. I've been coerced and manipulated in the past, too. You deserve to be validated & treated with respect.
I'm so sorry.
oof.
No, actually, oo...oof with about 100 o's.
I hope you're alright.
My heart goes out to both of you. I haven’t had anything like that happen, since I was a kid. I’m sorry it happened.
That is horrible hopefully he paid for it that is beyond sick
Im 50's and on the spectrum. This cr4p still happens to me when i disclose.
I was deemed as someone who could never have a chance of independence before I was even 10. Ever since preschool I've been forced into special ed programs that really heavily infantalized me up until the age of 12-13 which is when I finally had an option to opt out of it (the grade school I attended forced me into it regularly every week simply because of my diagnoses even though I clearly didn't need it, and infact all it did was severely hinder my progress in my normal classes). Today I have free will away from it though it feels like schools and organizations and what not still try to push it onto me every chance they get. They never put faith in me before I was even of age and during the age in where you start growing your independence simply because of my diagnosis (my autism doesn't hinder my life that severely). Jokes on them now I'm 19, studying for my own career which I hope I will be able to succeed in some day, got a job after a year of hunting, close to getting my drivers license and I finally managed to fix up my social life and make some friends after a lifetime of severe struggle. It never felt like all those who infantalized me believed I'd be capable of any of that, they all treated me like a 6 year old no matter how old I got.
I have wondered about this one. I joke a lot, have a 'stoner' style of humour and tend to avoid conversations that involve pragmatism and things of a practical nature. I cant chitchat and the only time I talk seriously is on deep matters that involve psychology, politics, sociology and behaviour. I think this all stems from the fact that we simply have very little regard for our social norms. We dont value all of the humdrum things in life that others do, I just tune out. Someone was talking about their car, repairs and insurance etc and I just wanted to them to shut the fuck up. Same with base and passive pleasures such as food, drink, holidays, a movie, events, its all bland, prescriptive and lacking true engagement just by the way in which they talk about things.
In reality we have no interest in things for the sake of things, for the sake of existence. I see ppl dry up with time, become less of who they were due to responsibilities, its like theyve died by consumption of all things that take their toll such as work, mortgages, kids and the like. I dont understand the reverence and respect ppl give to certain norms in our society as many of them only serve to delude ppl and many of them just paradoxical, ironic or just plain contradictory.
For better and worse we cant be indoctrinated by social norms and ques, they cant really alter our perception, so we find it hard to adult as being an adult requires just as much a delusion in their pursuits as kids do for Santa. Ive found myself having to defend myself often in my style of intereaction, the fact that ive never gotten a career or profession, still living with parents on and off. Ppl have this subtle yet tyrannical expectation that you should yield to their norms, that what they dont understand is offensive and wrong, its as though theirs one large hive-mind that seeks to bend everyone to its will, voiced by neurotypicals. Those who are free pay the cost for it.
As an autistic person I still see myself as a child, despite I'm an adult. I don't know if it's "normal". And I look younger too, especially my baby voice.
I very much relate to that! At least physically, I felt very not-adult for a long time. I think it's normal to embrace childhood! More people should. They'd have a lot more fun.
@@AutisticAllie Adulthood is so boring.
I am on the spectrum and have a young face. Life is hell cause people still treat me like I'm two
@@RandomSkyeRoses kick their ass the next time they treat you like a 2 year old. Hurt em bad and people will fear you. It worked for me!
@@AutisticAllie I haven’t felt like an adult until I was 25/26. I was finished school and becoming more financially independent.
I'm 27, and was told that I looked like I was 15. I happen to be "Openly Autistic"
Genuine question. What is “ openly autistic”?
@@Topg1 Dan Aykroyd coined the phrase, which means you're not afraid to say you're autistic, and that you're comfortable with who you are as a neurodivergant person
@@blueblousedesigns Cool. I’ve been a closeted autistic, I guess. Learn something new everyday.
@@Topg1 glad that I could help
Btw I just wanna say how eloquent and charming your delivery is, you have a way with words and manner even if it seems you are mulling it over as you speak. You come at these topics with a lightness but also respect the fact that they do take their toll, excellent content as usual! :-)
that’s what my assistant principal does
My mother was a narcissist and made sure I felt unwelcome when I was in a group of adults when I had no interest in missing out on the adult conversations and it was so difficult to be left out of them. I would also try to be part of them and she would always look down and say “the adults are talking” and roll her eyes and do this grandiose body language flare as she said it
Lmao I just give people a long stare back before replying in a monotone voice now. They get the point after that.
👍
no, I can´t drink Alcohol and will never smoke 😂
I’ve never had an adult relationship. I’m autistic.
great video I will Groupon TikTok that I follow and one of the girls when she thought I wasn’t listening said that I had the mentality of someone younger people can’t help the perception that they have of you and it can be a struggle to get them to see you differently or to change their perception of you test as someone having at my old intellectual disability although like think I’m a intelligent person I’m definitely mentally handicapped when I was born and had a brain hemorrhage which resulted in the birth stroke, also blind, my right eye, and my palsy
great video
Does anyone else clap back?