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Narrated D&D Story: The Best Bard Ever Retires With A Real Life Funeral

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  • Опубліковано 7 тра 2020
  • The best bard ever deserved the best retirement ever, dnd is just amazing..
    Thumbnail Art: bit.ly/BartBar...
    Story Submitted to All Things DnD (by James): bit.ly/BartBar...
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 167

  • @johnnysizemore5797
    @johnnysizemore5797 4 роки тому +225

    Notes from a NG Human Idiot ;
    Greetings from lovely Restenford!
    Companion's can be considered both a blessing & a curse. You grow exceedingly close to them, but must watch as they die sometimes. One of my own beloved companion's(a Druid named Wynne) once said to me:
    " If you live to be 100, i hope to live to be 100 minus one day, so i never have to live without you."
    May your pantheon ever favor you(especially in these trying times),
    Baron Trevelyan of Restenford

    • @PlanetFromOuterSpace
      @PlanetFromOuterSpace 4 роки тому +3

      What does "NG Human Idiot" mean?

    • @gabrielzellers1822
      @gabrielzellers1822 4 роки тому +6

      NG= nuetral good. A decent alignment to have. I personally prefer chaotic stupid, but that's because I have a good dm and I'm not lighting something on fire.

    • @PlanetFromOuterSpace
      @PlanetFromOuterSpace 4 роки тому +1

      @@gabrielzellers1822 Ah. I thought it might mean non-gamer or something. So adding on Idiot means what in this context?

    • @linderwa
      @linderwa 4 роки тому +1

      Nice nod to DA:I!

    • @johnnysizemore5797
      @johnnysizemore5797 4 роки тому +2

      @PlanetFromOuterSpace-- In this case, it would be a form of self-deprecating humor. As a good example, think of Writer's like Mark Twain or Lewis Grizzard or even Mick Foley, if your a fan of wrestling and several Comedians used a bit of it in their stand-up routines.It's a form of writing oftentimes used as a way to keep "Troll's" of all types from name calling or verbal bullying. It goes off the idea that, if your willing to make fun of yourself, then nobody else can(as it obviously wouldn't get a rise outta you)...

  • @RockDeviI
    @RockDeviI 4 роки тому +145

    My bard accidentally made a dragon (NPC) fall in love with him and she literally followed him around wherever he went even going so far as to seek out a genie and wishing she could turn into a Tiefling at will. (the bard was a Tiefling) It was hilarious at times xD

    • @kkTeaz
      @kkTeaz 4 роки тому +23

      He's so charismatic he *accidentally* made a dragon fall in love with him

    • @esteban8471
      @esteban8471 3 роки тому +4

      That sounds adorable.

    • @JoducusKwak
      @JoducusKwak 3 роки тому +10

      thats weird i just finished a character sheet for a tiefling which parents where a tiefling and dragon that became a tiefling thru a wish......
      and no its not an edgelord just a normal guy with a weird family

    • @RockDeviI
      @RockDeviI 3 роки тому +5

      @@JoducusKwak That's pretty funny xD This dragon got Tiefling as a shape shifting form so she could go back and forth at will.

  • @SaltpeterTaffy
    @SaltpeterTaffy 4 роки тому +195

    Hey, a story where the character sheet was lit on fire where the players aren't a bunch of jerks!

    • @sammarino7357
      @sammarino7357 3 роки тому +6

      He deserved it that sheet should never be touched again simply because that Bard has no reason to return. He earned his happy ending and changing it would feel like a desiccation of that campaign.

    • @SaltpeterTaffy
      @SaltpeterTaffy 3 роки тому +2

      @@sammarino7357 I was making a reference to an old All Things DnD video about an assassin who killed his entire party. The group's rule was if your character died, no matter how, your character sheet gets burned, and the DM outed his character as evil at the very start of the campaign, leading to the rest of his party constantly using him as a probabilistic meat shield.
      In that case, the perfect ending deserves the preservation of that particular character sheet.
      also the word you're looking for is "desecration" >.> dessication is the removal of water from a thing

    • @sammarino7357
      @sammarino7357 3 роки тому +1

      @@SaltpeterTaffy true I’ve heard that one but still I don’t think all people who do that are toxic

    • @cjtv9967
      @cjtv9967 2 роки тому

      Yeah Bart's story in that campaign was unreal and got its ending, I was happy

    • @SaltpeterTaffy
      @SaltpeterTaffy 2 роки тому +1

      @@sammarino7357 I was only talking about the people in that one story.

  • @zedkinez3994
    @zedkinez3994 4 роки тому +113

    Damn those cute kobolds. Another hero has fallen victim to their reptilian puppy eyes! But yeah, caring for your kobold npcs is a thing, seeing how squishy they are. I've been there too with my rogue, so I absolutely loved that story ;)

    • @Nazo4469
      @Nazo4469 4 роки тому +7

      My tiefling paladin just adopted a kobold dragonshield and is teaching him the ways of bahamut.

    • @Kylesico912x
      @Kylesico912x 4 роки тому +5

      My tiefling trickster rogue who normally is indifferent to the world around him once charmed a kobold. Used him to get to his dragon master and realized that he would alert everything once the spell was over. So He killed him but was given the most betrayed puppy dog eyes in the world. Both he and I felt guilt, the latter feeling guilty about it to this date.

    • @Questfinder1
      @Questfinder1 3 роки тому

      11 days. Spurt goes splat.

  • @Ardith_Prime
    @Ardith_Prime 4 роки тому +44

    "Don't die for your belief Child, Live for them"

  • @OnbanadritheMad
    @OnbanadritheMad 4 роки тому +17

    yet another masterfully told tale, i tip my hat to you. I found the story to be quite wholesome, and retiring so he didnt have to worry about leaving his son just warmed my heart. I dont care if it's a kobold, goblin, or a freakin bugbear, a baby is a baby. Children are innocent, and as he was raised by a loving father Saarg will do just fine.

  • @Theuglymug
    @Theuglymug 4 роки тому +27

    in one game we had a wherewolf hunter who saved us multiple times to this point and he got cursed without knowing it and he regained controle just long enough to stab himself with his own sword. after hat a friend of mine made a picture of a wherewolf and we used it as a symbol of curage to the point of death

    • @datkhornedog899
      @datkhornedog899 3 роки тому +3

      I shall correct your grammar, but only to let others understand you:
      "In one game, we had a Werewolf Hunter who saved us multiple times to this point, and he got cursed without knowing and regained control just long enough to stab himself with his own sword. After that a friend of mine made a picture of a Werewolf, and we used it as a symbol of courage to the point of death."

  • @crystalzesthub6984
    @crystalzesthub6984 4 роки тому +23

    You know, if everyday is like this, where everyone is symphathetic and caring...
    ...It would be great.

  • @darionbegaminminecraftrobl1209
    @darionbegaminminecraftrobl1209 4 роки тому +90

    I cried at the part where the kid said he loved daddy, I couldnt, I broke down ;-;

  • @timwoods2852
    @timwoods2852 4 роки тому +11

    It'd be cool if they ever revisited this particular story/setting if the player could play as Zarg. Having grown up a bit, studied at his father's college and became a bard in his own right, looking to prove himself.

    • @cjtv9967
      @cjtv9967 2 роки тому +1

      So I ended up revisiting Bart in a reunion game where the OG Party members got an invite onto an airship, with a +1. Bart didn't bring Saarg as he ran away to adventure just. Like dad did at his age 😂

  • @BugMagnet
    @BugMagnet 4 роки тому +10

    This is probably the best "Party adopts random creature and turns it into a huge plot arch" stories.
    I only have a vaguely similar one:
    We were ambushed by bandits, one was a half orc called Baroush. He was one shotted by a chromatic orb with acid flavour. My dragon born wizard dubbed him "melty cheese" for his half melted face. (its a lot funnier in our language)
    Our halfling cleric basically adopts him while the human who ordered him around got delivered to the guards and executed). Cleric wants to lead him on a righteous path. Got us into trouble several times nd managed to save him literally off the gallows using feather fall (he and the gnome sorcerer that melted his face worked together to help him)
    Later on he nearly dies protecting a village of outcast humans and dwarves from a gnoll attack. He barely makes it and manages to flee with the surviviors (our party was late to the fight due to bad rolls)
    In the end the former bandit became something of a protector for the farmers he helped save and now they are adrift hoping to find a new place to live.

  • @Rebelcommander6
    @Rebelcommander6 4 роки тому +12

    I have a Cleric who started as a replacement for someone who couldn't make it and ended up becoming a staple in my game. The Mighty Maverick was meant to be a one time deal, so I gave him this very goofy personality (I basically ripped off Nyloke from TOME). Apparently the players, especially our Halfling Card Slinger really love him

  • @rollfortales3069
    @rollfortales3069 4 роки тому +10

    I look forward to the day something hits me that hard at the table.

  • @watchoutitsthenerd9624
    @watchoutitsthenerd9624 3 роки тому +2

    I love wholesome tears. It’s sad beautiful happiness.

  • @Stephanie568
    @Stephanie568 4 роки тому +4

    This story was so great! Bart became a good daddy to the kobold and I just...I have nothing negative to say.

  • @admpandora91
    @admpandora91 4 роки тому +15

    "When you've listened to this story"
    How do they know?!

  • @GG-43
    @GG-43 4 роки тому +3

    This channel needs far more attention. These stories are awesome!

  • @angrymike590
    @angrymike590 4 роки тому +21

    Hip hip hooray for Bartholomew Archer and is cobalt child

    • @Satsujinki1973
      @Satsujinki1973 4 роки тому

      Cobalt? I thought it was a Kobold?

    • @angrymike590
      @angrymike590 4 роки тому +2

      @@Satsujinki1973 it is, I used talk to text and I guess with my accent it sounded like I said cobalt instead of Kobold

    • @kindoflame
      @kindoflame 4 роки тому +1

      @@Satsujinki1973 The Kobold has cobalt-colored scales.

  • @homunculus7
    @homunculus7 4 роки тому +2

    My bard once clubered a Pseudo dragon into friendship proper amount of intimidation and negotiation and through the campaign since we both spoke Draconic that Pseudo dragon became not a pet but my best friend and closest companion even though we had 5 players in our group and together we did alot of amazing feats and get out of soo many sticky situations with my bardic skills and charm and his ability to sneak around and put people to sleep with his sleep bite which both me and the Dm were surprised how lucky our rolls were for him. No other companion, npc or even romantic interest had a bond like ours. I miss that campaign and those days.... its been over a decade but thats the one npc I will always remember.

  • @PuppyLuvU2
    @PuppyLuvU2 4 роки тому +1

    Its very heartwarming that the player felt so connected to the characters and so much so he had both the npc and pc retire to live a happy life.

    • @cjtv9967
      @cjtv9967 2 роки тому

      Yeah! Saarg apparently came back in the DMs world (he's in NI so I can't play long-term unfortunately) and all the party messaged me to tell me that he was OK and alive
      And like a true dad I was happy but wanted to scold him for running away from home 😂

  • @pozemizahhak5022
    @pozemizahhak5022 4 роки тому +1

    Reminds me of a similar-ish story I had with my Dragonborn bard. In one of our earliest battle encounters, I used my bard's ability to speak goblin to convince an entire horde of them to accept her as their new leader and accompany the party as her entourage. Among the goblins was one rather young one the party collectively named Ishmael. He became our plucky little mascot with everyone giving him piggy back rides places and my bard teaching him common and even spending some of her own gold to make him a tiny lyre so she could teach him to play. She ended up formally adopting Ishmael as her child and any enemies learn very quickly that targeting him will lead to a very quick death via hatchet (my bard's proficient with thrown weapons).

  • @TTTac
    @TTTac 4 роки тому +1

    This is what I miss sometimes I was never good at DND but loved playing it as well as with my brothers and sisters in adventuring fun times and late nights hope to play with them soon

  • @user-dz8ir9fi7i
    @user-dz8ir9fi7i 4 роки тому +56

    Hail astoshan and self like mode on... Being told you will never be able to achieve anything meaningful due to being a member of feeble race .. I am not crying, you are crying!
    From another side, Hiter must be laughing somewhere on the other side

  • @inyyxcustoms5271
    @inyyxcustoms5271 3 роки тому +1

    I can see the bard in one of my campaigns doing something like this. We found an abused and half starved young elf in a dungeon, and our Dragonborn Bard immediately took to him and adopted him. The young elf now lives with his “grandparents” our bard’s parents, and the bard has a panic attack every time he thinks he’s gonna die, because of the boy. I can see his imminent retirement approaching.

  • @builder1863
    @builder1863 4 роки тому +4

    "I would like to retire like that!". They literally set fire to the character sheet.

  • @manlyvortex898
    @manlyvortex898 4 роки тому +3

    awesome story, where ever you get your stories from I hope you don't stop. sometimes when im bored or feeling distant your stories help me feel happy, they make me feel like i can always belong in the world. Thank you.

  • @UndeadSteampunk
    @UndeadSteampunk 4 роки тому +24

    I loved this emotional story

  • @Sparrow_Bloodhunter
    @Sparrow_Bloodhunter 4 роки тому +1

    cute goblins/kobolds are my kryptonite. any small humanoid tugs on my heartstrings.

  • @livelearnlovesmile
    @livelearnlovesmile 4 роки тому +1

    I normally listen to you guys in the car while I'm driving to work most the time. This is the first time I've had to pull over because there was too many tears in my eyes.

    • @cjtv9967
      @cjtv9967 2 роки тому +1

      I'm sorry! Its such a heartwarming story so happy it got told

  • @ryzukumagawa7143
    @ryzukumagawa7143 4 роки тому +3

    For my group it would be aro the Bomberman the only character to constantly roll worst than the party and they would pair up (their choice) with him whenever possible

  • @SundayLeaf
    @SundayLeaf 4 роки тому +2

    *Sad kenku whistling*

  • @GreaterGrievobeast55
    @GreaterGrievobeast55 4 роки тому +13

    YIRBEL LIVES! HMMM I think there is a saying for creatures like zarg in distant lands......BABYY.

    • @allthingsdnd
      @allthingsdnd  4 роки тому +7

      Another bard you'll fancy a lot 😶

    • @GreaterGrievobeast55
      @GreaterGrievobeast55 4 роки тому +4

      *Saarg
      YES! There are too many good bards these days I don’t lnow which ones to tribute!

  • @hefas842
    @hefas842 4 роки тому +1

    my favorite story of dumb luck is "Greta the goliath cougar and the Gnome" long story short not only did the gnome survive the "encounter" with her, he came out with no damage winning the freak-of-nature-dwarf/tiefling-hybrid 2000 gold. let me point out he had disadvantage and a dc18+ on all rolls (at lvl 1), this guy rolled nothing under 17 during this, he even rolled double 20.

  • @shannongilsdorf6972
    @shannongilsdorf6972 4 роки тому +2

    So, in the campaign we have right now, I'm playing a half elf bard. We were saving these kids, and due to one of my items, one of them got kinda..... mutated. He has all black eyes, two tongues, and is just a little special. My DM had named him Mama's Boy, because when he first woke up, he thought I was his mother. I am now taking care of the child, and have a real soft spot for the boy. Only me, I'm the only one who likes him, but he's amusing.

  • @Xeromm
    @Xeromm 4 роки тому +1

    Now that sounds like an awesome group. They had disagreements and discussions but the DM and players respected Bart's player as he figured things out.

    • @cjtv9967
      @cjtv9967 2 роки тому

      We didn't even disagree in truth (there was one problem player not mentioned) but just had great RP because we knew what are characters wanted and respected well enough to disassociate with personal opinions
      All great IRL and the reunion game was epic as well when I brought Bart back for a level 12 adventure (after a mysterious invite to an airship)

  • @Scipio441
    @Scipio441 4 роки тому

    Boris the Mouse, rider of wolves, friend of battle chickens, false lord of tables, master of swords. He is a small goblin we took on as a party pet around the first session and has become one of the last surviving members of the original group along side my ranger/gunslinger, who has grown attached to the goblin. Anytime anyone messing with boris my character draws his gun and says "nobody touches the goblin" and usually shoots the person.

  • @gcomo-oc2th
    @gcomo-oc2th 4 роки тому +1

    My fav npc was an owl bear named clufford that our druid accidentally hit a love potion with as an owl bear. They where in a lovely relation ship

  • @forfaerghus8092
    @forfaerghus8092 3 роки тому +1

    Well, it seems this party did a better job protecting their kobold than the Mighty Nein did with Spurt.

  • @slackingrebelgaming9940
    @slackingrebelgaming9940 4 роки тому +1

    My group im currently in are running a wildmount campaign and one quest led us to a fight againt a group of kobolds in a bomb makers house thanks to my tabaxi rogue and one of our other party members, cant remember which since alots happened since then, we managed to get two of them as hostages i kill one and we heal the other and remove a bomb the bad guy used to control the kobolds and he decides to help us, his name is kragg and hes become both a mascot and our healer/inventor we all make sure hes as safe as we can but weve had a few close calls but bad guys wont get him without a fight thats for sure.

  • @Otes
    @Otes 4 роки тому +1

    I’ve been playing a 5e game for the last two years as a merman pirate I have gone around the DMs world and amassed a full fleet of ships and people to crew them plus the beginnings of my own country (that I don’t really want to lead but it’s nice to have an army to support me) but one of the first quest giving npcs I ran into named Yasir he has been a part of my crew since session 2 because it started as an escort mission to collect skins from rare creatures to be sold in yasir’s market which now he has 6 town sized outposts and has multiple permanent teleportation circles including one on our shared flagship he doesn’t have a roll on the ship other than treasurer and co-country leader if he gets killed in game I’m going to probably lose my shit and scrap my merman character as yasir is so ingrained in the story and my characters personality development that I don’t think I could play it anymore

  • @TheeOK1
    @TheeOK1 4 роки тому +2

    Wait if Bartholomew is a half elf won't he outlive Saarg?

    • @cjtv9967
      @cjtv9967 2 роки тому

      Sadly yes but Saarg is still living life to the full! He's become a Bard in his own right and his making his dad proud

  • @FunnyEnigma02
    @FunnyEnigma02 4 роки тому +1

    Imo this Is honestly my favorite parts of dnd

  • @Crocogator
    @Crocogator 4 роки тому +30

    Companions, you say?
    We broke Curse of Strahd. Spoilers.
    Three person party, something really bad happened to Ireena. After a few sessions... we now have Izek as a member of the group. He's supposed to be a bad guy that you just kill at some point.

    • @dravenbladesong1
      @dravenbladesong1 4 роки тому +2

      Alcaste My group started in that campaign. My Goliath Barbarian Totem Warrior became fast friends with the were-ravens. So much so that they gave me the light saber. At one point, we were fighting a bunch Barbarians at a Cairn. A man riding Nightmare showed up. The sword told me to throw it at the rider, at which point it blew up in a flash of light. Next thing we knew, we were in Ravnica without the sword or any knowledge of how we got there. 8 game sessions in from that point and my character is still frantically trying to make his way back to Ravenloft to finish his job.

    • @Crocogator
      @Crocogator 4 роки тому

      @@dravenbladesong1 We're still really early in the campaign, and I'm not gonna fault you on the accidental spoiler of were-ravens.
      Now I can't wait to meet them.

    • @liamdouglas2720
      @liamdouglas2720 4 роки тому

      Alcaste how does that even work?

    • @Crocogator
      @Crocogator 4 роки тому +1

      @@liamdouglas2720 She was killed before we ran into him, and turned his obsession for her into a "help kill Strahd" kind of thing.

  • @jbannish467
    @jbannish467 4 роки тому

    Ottice (Pronounced Otis) The Great. He was the best cleric acolyte i have ever seen. Time and time again he beat the odds. Beginning his legacy, i start with him encountering a gelatinous cube. He was swallowed whole yet persevered by bursting out of the monstrosity with a Nat 20. This feat was accomplished at only level 4, thus granting him his title. Fast forwarding to level 10 he solo'd a lich. Do not even get me started on his godly dice rolls. The man deserved every bit of respect we gave for him in that campaign. Not bad for a clerical NPC acolyte. Finishing his legacy he was sent to god-hood, when he valiantly defied the odds and grew to become the last god our group had to resurrect. He entered the world as a lvl 1 temple hand, and ended it the God of Justice.

  • @tincanwhiplash
    @tincanwhiplash 4 роки тому +4

    This guy sounds kind of like Sylvando from Dragon Quest XI.

  • @aaronpreuss4261
    @aaronpreuss4261 4 роки тому +1

    Wonderful all around.

  • @durk5331
    @durk5331 3 роки тому +1

    This made me cry so hard

  • @ichaukan
    @ichaukan 4 роки тому +1

    My favorite NPC so far is the Rat Prince from the Dungeons of Drakenheim series.

  • @That80sGuy1972
    @That80sGuy1972 4 роки тому +2

    That is a perfect ending to a great character.

  • @jccjccjoanne
    @jccjccjoanne 4 роки тому +1

    I wish my DMs are less battle hungry and give us more role play opportunities...
    Guess I will never have too stories like this to tell.

  • @SudrianTales
    @SudrianTales Рік тому

    I love the horror stories but these stories are the ones that really want me to play D&D (ATM doing a Discord roleplay which is fun.)

  • @bartholomewlunt3347
    @bartholomewlunt3347 4 роки тому +1

    Being a Bart this hit hard

  • @theOneOnlyTed
    @theOneOnlyTed 4 роки тому +1

    Nothing quite like a walke off into the sunset.

  • @Zen_Archaes
    @Zen_Archaes 3 роки тому +1

    That's funny my first real campaign I took over for a Kobold the party had captured so the DM could focus on DMing rather than RP they had called him backpack as they had him strapped him to the pallys back after I took over I had named him sargt which I pronounced tsar but everyone else just called him sarge

  • @goldtoothslair3052
    @goldtoothslair3052 4 роки тому +1

    I don't really have no character that I have retired yet but there was an NPC that was crucial to my back story that I had to sadly bury away.
    His name was Oleath. Wise is Dragon of the South. And master and tutor of the Southern kobolds. He was an ancient brass dragon that escaped from the desert when his home was destroyed by the blue dragons.
    He Fleet as far as he can with only one single egg wrapped in his arms. After his travel he found what he assumed was the abandoned Mountain that actually had my tribe of kobolds in it.
    He took us under his care and told us everything that we need to know literature, cultur, languages and many other things. In a way we were like his servants but also friends to him.
    After around three hundred years I was finally the age after around three hundred years I was finally the age of 38 and was asked to go out into the world I tried prove my strength in might. For reasons I'll explain later in a different post or if people ask me in this one.
    On my Adventures I would tell my DM that I would like to write a letter to my master and also my wife what you would allow me at times and allow me to send it out each time I will send a small little portion of gold and tell the progress that I've been making out in the world and sometimes I will get a letter back.
    This lasted for a few sessions until the day finally came. We were in Tower of the Mad Mage on the 5th floor I believe we went there to go and help out our friends that were currently fighting against a barbarian Warlord.
    We have faced against this man several times in the past and each time he would beat us up or run away. After getting through the whole dungeon we finally make it to the end and then combat start as soon as we see him.
    The Barbarian pretty much focused me out and in a way was trying to kill me while also telling me what he has done. Apparently he was able to track down where I was where I used to live any challenge my master into a duel killing him in the process and in the middle of the fight he threw a horn at me.
    It was one of my Master's horns that he kept as a trophy. He also told me that he will be keeping my wife and selling her the xanathar for experiments at that moment in real life I did felt a rage come over me as I threw every magical spell that I could at this character.
    Sadly he was able to get away again and ones combat was over I told the DM I immediately need to get out of here and go to my home what he told me that will not be possible since waterdeep is right now under a very hurricane storm that prevent anybody from leaving.
    At that moment I felt like my character that I just lost everything. Things have gotten better since that encounter. My character's wife is safe and sound in waterdeep we were able to prevent xanathar from getting his hands on her and at times I'm forced to work with this Barbarian that is took my homeland because of the demons that are attack in the world.
    When the day comes I will be making this Barbarian suffer for everything he's put my character through. And the sad thing is I wasn't even able to attend the funeral because I was stuck in waterdeep.

  • @marcelparent3273
    @marcelparent3273 4 роки тому +1

    LOVE the enthusiasm!!! More gamers should be like this!!!

  • @killerwolf2603
    @killerwolf2603 4 роки тому +1

    After setting a forest on fire with Molotovs and fire Bombs I managed to convince one of the dryads trying to kill us to join us mid combat after spraying her with acid and killing the other 4 dryads

  • @michaeljohnson-el9hp
    @michaeljohnson-el9hp 3 роки тому

    In a long campaign, I have a character named Raymus. He started as an reptilian orc bandit but grew increasingly powerful. One of my sessions with him I found a cave that was not entirely connected to reality and I found that I could merge two or more things together to make something new, and while it had its funny prospects, the first thing I did was seal it off and attach a kind of permanent portal that only I could access. I don after found out that an entire species was pretty much slave to the world I was currently on. (In this game there was portaling to other normal worlds and such), hobbits here, were no better than slaves in mines and everywhere else. I found one particular Hobbit that when I took him from his evil master, became instantaneously loyal to me. Enter Roger the hobbit. I knowing that the small and untrained hobbits wouldn't stand a chance against the slavers, and I took him to my cave. In the I found that I could bond living creatures with items or substances, so I merged my loyal friend with iron and made him my right hand man, known from now on as Iron Roger. I continued to merge multiple hobbits with many things and soon made a freaky and unnatural army. I have full access of the strange merge cave to the hobbits, because I had to travel to other worlds and continue my travels. I eventually helped them to gain control of their very own country, they cashed it Hobbitopia. Soon after I had to deal with an entire species of meteor golems falling from the sky, and only by using some futuristic technology that would kill them all in one bomb blast could I save my world. In doing so I got caught up in the blast and died. However i had strong connections to more than one diety and at the last second I was saved, but I came back in the body of a Golem, I was still shaped like a reptilian orc, but I was bigger, stronger, and tougher. My adventures went so fast that I literally conquered a planet, of course this to me some ten in game years, but with an artifact that I forged, (with the help of at least twenty extremely powerful people that all owed me favors) I had manu abilities that allowed me to do massive damage from the sky. This helped during major battles, but I mainly won through negotiations some allied countries and my desperate enemies. I took a powerful orc with gauntlets that were infused with the ore of gods, and made him my second in command. But through all of this, not a single one of them knew about my hobbit friends, and when my adventures lead me to an entity that I could only bargain years of servitude with, I ended up faking my death. In doing so my second in command (his name was Orgetorix) took control of my planet and have me a funeral. The interesting part is that only the hobbits, my first friends actually know I'm alive and I'm hiding out there right now. Give this comment a like if you want an update 😜, I'm also working through 9 other adventures as both a DM and a player, so I have plenty to share

  • @saddersspecial1773
    @saddersspecial1773 3 роки тому +1

    I made a npc ranger called Steve that was supposed to just help guide the party to a nearby dungeon, however after being persuaded to joint the party into said dungeon he needed up being the MVP with some godly rolls and ended up almost single handedly killing the dungeon boss whilst the party killed the mobs 😂 and after Steve the ranger npc became a impromptu party member 😂

  • @EtnaBoy666
    @EtnaBoy666 4 роки тому +2

    I am glad that the player did the right thing. I hope the player made his new character just as memorable and hope that Bartholomew Von Duke Archer the 3rd and his adopted kobold son live a happy life. ^_^

    • @cjtv9967
      @cjtv9967 2 роки тому

      So after Bart I played a Gunslinger called Revanus and he was just as epic in his own way, a personal favourite too

  • @barbom8
    @barbom8 4 роки тому +10

    In one game, we had a ship crow that we convinced the DM to name: Cannonfood, CannonCannon, Foodfood, and Foodcannon. We later encountered pirates and they were about to kill Foodfood, I tried to save him, and the DM told me that if I chose to save him, I will die. So I died obviously. But Foodfood survived. HURRAY. In the next session, the DM killed Foodfood.

    • @larry9393
      @larry9393 4 роки тому +3

      Monsssster :(

    • @jacobp.2024
      @jacobp.2024 3 роки тому

      They just box texted your NPC after making you sacrifice a character. There is no greater shame a DM can bring on his table and himself.

  • @droman608
    @droman608 3 роки тому +1

    When you give up adventuring for an adopted child... 🥺😢😭 #sneakyonionscuttingthemselves #imnotcryingyourecrying

  • @linkofdoom24
    @linkofdoom24 4 роки тому +16

    Hmm, Not really a need to light it up, since he is not dead. Would have kept it around for as long as that campaign was around.

    • @pokerraper1
      @pokerraper1 4 роки тому +3

      As a player, I feel that l would do the same if something like that happens. Not because the character is dead, but because you just... part ways with it.

    • @BlazeofMercSH
      @BlazeofMercSH 4 роки тому +1

      I can see burning it, best way to stay retired.

    • @rollfortales3069
      @rollfortales3069 4 роки тому

      I agree. I would've kept it as a memento of such a monumental moment.

    • @cjtv9967
      @cjtv9967 2 роки тому

      Craith gets it, it was done to signify the end of a chapter!

  • @hellhounds2034
    @hellhounds2034 4 роки тому

    much love from Interdimensional Babushka (grandma). she has a lot of levels in bard but also just enough levels in barbarian to be dangerous should anyone harm her grandkids (the party). she has shown up in every campaign in a different form. In one she's a small russian human making giant pies and knitted sweaters, in another she's a crocodilian lizardfolk making gingerbread cookies and cassaroles, in the other she hasnt been introduced yet but it's believed that she's a panda bear who makes delicious dumplings and beautiful paintings.

  • @SaintJimmy379
    @SaintJimmy379 4 роки тому +1

    Brah... Holding a metaphorical funeral for Bart IRL seems like bad JuJu for D&D (or was it Pathfinder? Wasn't listening) Bart!

    • @cjtv9967
      @cjtv9967 2 роки тому

      It was surreal and the campaign went awesome after the fact! No bad juju

  • @BlazeofMercSH
    @BlazeofMercSH 4 роки тому

    I have a npc bard in my campaign who its a ally to the party some times and a enemy other times, he is Todd Howard, he has no stats other then 30 in each con and charisma, he fights the party with bluff checks buy pointing "Look there, your enemy". Our LG dragonborn fighter is bound to murder him, he swindled him out of a +3 magic great sword last dungeon. Ah Todd my best creation.

  • @crimsontsunami92
    @crimsontsunami92 4 роки тому

    His name was Tiny, a mammoth of a half giant, not entirely bright, but a heart of pure gold, my human Warlock of Shub Niggurath, he saw the crew taking advantage of him and his strength. So Mathias made him an offer, wealth of gold and fame if he would travel with him. Mathias spent his 1.2k gold on Tiny outfitting him with plate armour and a hammer enchanted with a version of Divine smite, we went around dealing with local issues about the various towns, My warlock was Lawful Evil, but eventually became a Lawful Good, due to Tiny's moral compass, They retired in wealth and happiness, it made me shed a tear a bit, this big lug no one treated like he was human and nothing more than a wall of meat. Found his fortune in life, and became a famed Paladin of Lythander. My warlock gave up his ways and finished in his multi-class of Cleric to Lythander.

  • @kharijordan6426
    @kharijordan6426 4 роки тому +1

    That wasn't sad but it was sooooo full of Hart. Screw sticking it to his dad. He got a son to raise......and possibly better than his dad.

  • @ryaku5
    @ryaku5 4 роки тому +2

    The living definition of a nice death.

  • @mantismann8129
    @mantismann8129 4 роки тому +1

    this is so damn good. this is adorable. I cried. w h e e z e

  • @cjtv9967
    @cjtv9967 2 роки тому

    SO IM THE BARD! I DIDNT KNOW THIS STORY GOT NARRATED IM GONNA TELL MY DM RN AND THANK YOU ALL FOR THE LOVE! SAARG AND BART ARE STILL ALIVE, BART GOT HIS COLLEGE AND SAARG RAN OFF WITH SOMEONE ELSE'S CHILD!

    • @cjtv9967
      @cjtv9967 2 роки тому

      I'd happily explain the epilogue if this would be wanted, honestly unreal the appreciation this got I still talk about it to this day

  • @alexanderthegreat6682
    @alexanderthegreat6682 4 роки тому

    Kupalue, nickname Weed (translation of name?) In Tomb of Annihilation we hired a druid and his companion, Kupalue, a vegepygmy who was no slouch in combat, pretty wise, and can regenerate. A true beast of a plant dude. He left the party after his druid friend was killed by psychic monkeys. ( a story for another time) We later saved him from small poison dart frog people and negotiated peace between Weed's tribe and the frogs. We loved him.
    Edit: The best bard to ever exist, and that ever will exist. WOW. Can I have a subclass based on his college he founded?

  • @JamieDNGN
    @JamieDNGN 4 роки тому

    My current group in a campaign I'm running had a murder investigation arc which started with a kid kobold showing our centaur ranger a corpse of a guy our cleric had stolen a diamond worth 500gp from the day before (only stolen - no killing, the seller was killed later by sth different)
    The Kobold is mute so he communicates with nods and sometimes pen and paper.
    Next session we had a lot of interrogation concerning the murder.
    The Kobold was interrogated with the Ranger.
    So I began interrogating the ranger by asking for identification (name, surname, nationality etc.) And then asked about the Kobold.
    As the Kobold I took a pen and paper to write the name - Kobalt (Polish for cobalt) (the Kobold was cobalt blue - that's his namesake).
    The letters looked like they were written by a toddler learning how to write.
    After the interrogation ended, players have decided to play truth or dare.
    After a while of playing it was Kobalt's turn - the ranger whom on the bottle stopped chose truth
    Kobalt takes his pen and paper and writes in his baby letters - "weel yu bee mai daddi?" And passes it to the ranger.
    Ranger smiles and says "well, I guess I don't have a choice" and hugs his Kobold son.

  • @derekdrake8706
    @derekdrake8706 3 роки тому +1

    He didn't actually die, why burn the sheet?
    I'd have made a character sheet for the Kobold and put them away in a binder together.

    • @cjtv9967
      @cjtv9967 2 роки тому

      It was the parties first proper retirement and we wanted to signify it cause the temptation of the sheet still being there was I'd want him adventuring again ruining the mood of it, he got his story told

  • @ashannahensley3288
    @ashannahensley3288 Рік тому

    Ngl, the whole "Real Life Funeral" was both good it didn't happen and a bit of a let down that the title wasn't accurate. (Was constantly like "Okay. This is sad but wholesome. But when's the tragedy going to happen?"

  • @soubigo
    @soubigo 4 роки тому +1

    I love thease stories but i have ONE gripe x.x and it dosent even have anything to do with the storys xD. But like. Every time i watch one of thease vids it always auto turns on captions. No manter how many times i turn them off thease vids turn them back on xD. Uhg lol.

  • @ajmccool4333
    @ajmccool4333 4 роки тому +1

    Now I'm just imagining that Bart and the woman got married

    • @cjtv9967
      @cjtv9967 2 роки тому

      Oh no! Aunty Anne actually adopted Bart (as his own dad didn't want him essentially) and he became officially Bartholomew Mezamir and names the college he made after her and Saarg when founded

  • @Overlord99762
    @Overlord99762 3 роки тому

    He made the DM call him Daddy

  • @VaporMughal26
    @VaporMughal26 4 роки тому +1

    damn almost missed the premiere

  • @drachirx3323
    @drachirx3323 4 роки тому

    Red Hand of Doom 3.5 Jorr the best ranger who ever cast greater invisibility accidentally because the DM forgot that attacks break the invisibility.... Trellara the elf that never noticed the cleric pc's big friends were actually Skullcrusher Ogres that had been raised as skeletons and wearing hats of disguise

  • @raevmanigotnoskills5837
    @raevmanigotnoskills5837 4 роки тому

    When I read lore on all races... like the deep Lore.
    To me, you better have a GOOD reason, why an usually Strictly Honorable and Proudful Race, would do something they consider "Cowardice" and "Honorless"... as being a Rogue xD

  • @Astralopithicus
    @Astralopithicus 4 роки тому +1

    Sad

  • @twistergames6409
    @twistergames6409 4 роки тому +1

    Holy crap, just watched some videos on the cube hub channel, Jesus Christ u can narrate

  • @BattleAvatar
    @BattleAvatar 3 роки тому +1

    Dungeons and dudes crying at the game table.

  • @jonkerr7959
    @jonkerr7959 4 роки тому +13

    we had an companion in out party called Cannon Fodder the Expendable he was our scout and impossible to kill would always scrap threw every combat with 1 or 2 hp and was the only party member of ours to make it out of under mountain after a telephoning mishap landed us on the 4th floor

    • @pokerraper1
      @pokerraper1 4 роки тому

      I love that name so much xD

  • @dominiclarratt9968
    @dominiclarratt9968 4 роки тому

    I'm glad your finally doing good content I was fearing to the channel.

  • @VaporMughal26
    @VaporMughal26 4 роки тому +1

    supper

  • @StoneCorazon
    @StoneCorazon 2 роки тому

    Dude is kind of a flake missing a lot of sessions

    • @cjtv9967
      @cjtv9967 2 роки тому

      oh! I can explain, it was uni and I was in my final year so dissertations etc. got in the way

  • @cdnlightning1080
    @cdnlightning1080 4 роки тому

    briar from campaign one of nat19's fate/solar shadow
    this boi was just to sell shit, and ended up giving one pc alchemist a one time use upgraded mutegen

  • @yousirareafish9746
    @yousirareafish9746 4 роки тому +2

    Bart is a good boy or girl

  • @RandomGuy-nt1no
    @RandomGuy-nt1no 4 роки тому +2

    My friend once rolled a nat 20 on breaking physics and the DM let it happen

  • @MatsuriProductions
    @MatsuriProductions 4 роки тому +1

    So Cute!

  • @pr777angel
    @pr777angel 4 роки тому +1

    Hi

  • @MisterJasro
    @MisterJasro 4 роки тому +1

    I honestly don't see "working around the shop" ever making enough to open a bardic college.

    • @pokerraper1
      @pokerraper1 4 роки тому

      Nope, but it was way better than dying in the process

    • @MisterJasro
      @MisterJasro 4 роки тому

      @@pokerraper1
      True, but I feel the DM let him off easy with that win-win scenario. It's to good to be true and diminishes the weight of the choice.
      It's the choice that lies at the root of parenting. You stop living to fulfill your own dream, but rather to fulfill your children's dreams.
      Still really moving story.

    • @cjtv9967
      @cjtv9967 2 роки тому

      The college ended up. Being opened! I pulled a few favours as the criminal boss ended up in world government and granted me the funds to do so as Bart kept his word! It helps that some students go into Bones' world

  • @VaporMughal26
    @VaporMughal26 4 роки тому +1

    sup

  • @BG-ue5zj
    @BG-ue5zj 4 роки тому

    I am twelf.

  • @Just_Call_Me_Tim
    @Just_Call_Me_Tim 4 роки тому +2

    That’s an awful lot of crying, some seemingly unnecessary, but to each his own. What I really don’t get is the burning of the sheet. Why? Keep it as a memento, you weirdos. I get it if the player was being a dick with that character and Mary Sue-ing shit, and you have to kill off that character, but I don’t get it for a retired one...

    • @cjtv9967
      @cjtv9967 2 роки тому

      It was just to signify the end of that chapter of the story and we wanted the moment!

  • @superblackbootable
    @superblackbootable 4 роки тому

    Stories like this make me never want to play dnd.

  • @garciasartwork185
    @garciasartwork185 4 роки тому

    nice story.
    what would happen if the small kobold and the town-folk gets killed by the "Gnoll Raiders"?
    the party got their too late.
    the town in fire, town-folk cut down the only left is bone flash corps. buildings left in ruin. the "Gnoll Raiders" Roar with war-cry laughter.

  • @krystianmoralesify
    @krystianmoralesify 4 роки тому

    Still waiting for a rick and morty dnd story form your video