The Complicated Relationship between CHINA & JAPAN Through the Story of Our Marriage
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- Опубліковано 30 тра 2024
- ●[China & Japan]The surprising differences of weddings in China & Japan explained by a transnational couple!
• The 5 Surprising Diffe...
[Time codes]
0:00 Let's START!
1:00 How we were taught about marriage
3:14 How we met in Beijing
7:24 What happened after we started dating
11:10 How we overcame the challenges
14:38 Our wedding and her father’s words
17:01 Now
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I’m Shogo, a Kyoto born & Hiroshima raised Japanese, that grew up in Michigan USA for 6 years, and studied Mandarin in Beijing university for a year!
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Many people have asked me, "What do you love about your wife?"
I always answer "Her existence😎." lol
*17:22 In the map where we pointed out as "Kyoto," is actually "Nara" prefecture...
Kyoto is one prefecture up North from Nara, we apologize for the mistake!
・
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Thank you again very much for watching!
Wait so which last name did you kids end up with?
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
All nothing but praise for you guys!!
Great video again really well done.
You’re the nicest and sweetest guy I’ve ever seen my friend! :)
"I became a brighter and happier person"...that is really what the definition of love should be.
It is actually something we always should keep in mind, even after years and years of a relationship. "Am I happier and brighter ?"
Well said. Personally though Love doesn't have a exact meaning, and that love transcends logic.
Just like how it changed what we think about this world during childhood. How it contradicts on what we do or think today and tommorow.
So true. I got a little misty eyed when she said that part
The actual Definition of Love is “Patience and Kindness” combined. Because combined, it WILL make you a happier and brighter person.
Patience alone isn’t good enough.
Kindness alone isn’t good enough.
Need both combined for recipe to work.
“Happier and Brighter” is the result.
The cause: sources of “Patience and Kindness”
Cause and effect ☺️ Can’t have effect without cause.
Shogo treated Harumi the way he wanted to be treated. With Love and devotion.
Reference: 1st Corinthians Chapter 13.
Son of a Chinese father and Japanese mother. Very blessed and proud to have been raised on both cultures and tribes. Definitely the best of both worlds for sure!
This is rad. You're Rad, dude
Op interaction
Exactly I respect it 100% that's how it should be
Did you grow in Canada or the US? If your dads a ABC and your mom is nisei or sansei that’s nothing surprising. But it’s still cool.
That's dope you have heritage of two Amazing and beautiful cultures
My wife of 37 years just passed away a month ago from a long illness. Your story brought a smile to me face I so much needed. Thank you so much and I wish you and your family many years of happiness.
Condolences sir.
My condolences sir.
My condolences
my condolences man...
best of luck in the future.
Harumi's father:
- lives in Japan
- names his daughter a japanese name
Also Harumi's father:
"You marry a japanese man!? Nani!?"
Yeh i dont understand his logic there AT ALL!
I think he avoided his daughter being bullied at school.
Being a foreigner especially Asians may be the target of bullying.
He might live in Japan for work and he might have named his daughter a Japanese name so she wouldn't get bullied for a foreign name.
I love how they are having a conversation in two different languages.
A good way to remember two languages for people that have a hard time to keep track of it without forgetting the other, I remember an old acquaintance that came back from another country and pretty much mostly forgot English which is his native language.
@@deathkiddoom lmao
@@deathkiddoom by the way that was me
Who didn't get my marriage vows thats a lot u duck an door
So cool
"The flower that blooms in adversity is the rarest and most beautiful of all."
- Mulan (Disney animated version)
Well presented my friend, well done 😊
thats lotus flower
The original or the remake?
plum blossom represents the country
@@allopez8563 the original duh you think something as profound yet simple as that would cross the remakers minds?
This video came up on my recommended, and I clicked because I’m the daughter of a Chinese mother and a Japanese father. It’s scary how similar your story is to theirs! They also met at a University in China, and my mum’s family also had a hard time accepting my dad when they started dating. I’m glad your relationship persevered, and is still going strong to this day! ❤️
This is with Bangladesh and Pakistan. Alot of parents of Bengalis are against Pakistani interracial couples. This generation knows peace but those same parents were victims of genocide. It's tough it really is. But stories like this video right here is what helps us move forward to better future.
@@kudurrumaqlu "interracial", it's the same roots two different nation, "inter-national" is probably more approperiate
@@jiuncho4435 Pakistanis and Bengalis still belong to different ethnicities. We don't even share the same language
@@user-eg4zb8sp1w Not different race though. If I saw a Pakistani and a Bengali wearing the same clothes, side by side, I wouldn't be able to recognize which was which, right?
I love this story. My marriage also started with a neverending date, we met at 10 am on a Saturday to go to a Museum, then lunch, then sightseeing, then coffee, then walk, then dinner, then drinks... The second date was basically him moving in, because he cooked for me at my place and never really left.
Mine, too! And we're still having the never-ending conversation, and I wouldn't give that up for the world. 🥰
*"I was finally able to say from my heart, "thank you" and "I love you" because Shogo gave me the love I needed."*
That's very touching Harumi. It truly shows that his love and your love towards him is such an important foundation to face those challenges.
I and itit it
"And we still didn't want to go home"
I was laughing so hard, you both are so sweet and loving and funny, that's why I love this channel, it's just full of passion and care
Another greetings from Hungary :)
We simply can’t control who we fall in love with. It just happens. Glad you two had everyone’s blessing in the end. You two are such a cute couple. I wish you many more years of happiness together.
Too bad I'll never be on the receiving end of the falling in love part 😔
@@Li1190 who hurt you?
@@Li1190 There are a ton of things you can do to make yourself a more attractive prospect. I assume you're quite young, because that's typically something younger people parrot.
Well yes and no. It all depends on what or how much baggage another has that you're willing to accept.
I fell in love with GODZILLA ‼️❤🇯🇵‼️🇺🇸‼️❤
I love to see Harumi directly talking to Shogo. She still is a little insecure when it comes to the camera, but as soon as she looks at Shogo, she really starts to radiate happiness. Especially given her life story, it shows how much she trusts Shogo to freely speak her mind and show her emotions.
There's a saying in the Philippines that goes like this "Kapag pinigil, lalong mangigigil" meaning, if you try to stop someone from doing what they like, or love, they'll gonna do it with much more diligent, almost without a sign of stopping. If it's meant to be, you'll know it. 🥺
Love wins in your beautiful story. 😊
Same in manchurian
Ah yes, rhyming
That's such a beautiful saying in Philippines. Thanks for sharing😊
Kapag nabunyag ang sikreto, kikilos ng patago.
Sanaol meant to be di ako maka relate
I’ve only watched for 2 days, and I am a better person for it. 31 years ago I met my wife at McGill in an English Lit course. She called me a “snob”, because I didn’t sit with her. We studied together that afternoon and she didn’t leave my small place until 11pm. Next day I noticed she left her umbrella. I called, we met, and we have been together since; Engaged after 6 weeks, married after 6 month of meeting, and 4 children 2 grand children. As some earlier said, love is Love. A truly beautiful story, thank you.
holy heck, you guys moved fast and have lasted a long while. I pray for your guys continued happiness
I guess love at first sight still exists in some places. You won the relationship lottery lol.
world is so small, arent u from montreal ? kept falling on people from here haha
@@blazytt4324 grew up in Deux Montagnes.
@@reluctantartsy ahh :)
"People there have strong anti-Japanese sentiment". Well, this summed up everything perfectly, my friend. The atrocities done by Japanese soldiers during the WW2 still felt by many. But enough with politics and history, let the politicians settle those things. Wish you and your family many years of happiness and prosperity.
Well, it's not that easy as simply having politicians sort it out. German soldiers also committed unspeakable atrocities, but there are fundamental differences in how Germany has dealt with that past and how Japan has dealt with that past and it has substantially affected relationships with the neighbors.
the thing is the Japanese politicians just say that these atrocities didn't happen and call it a day.
@@SamuelOh Conversely, in Germany, denying Nazi atrocities is a crime
Letting politicians sort it out is probably the problem. Politicians often find it very useful to make a fictitious enemy. Few people who were alive during WWII are still around.
I believe the Japanese care too much about their image so they don't want to admit their atrocities, but by not admitting them, that's the one thing that make their image bad with the rest of the world.
The way they looked at each other while each one speaks about their side of the story, nodding in affirmation. I'm glad that they ended happily together after all the difficulties.
"But your mother used 24 years to raise my new son..."
Eyes: REKT
Sometimes love does win
Wow respect to her father for being open minded in the end and accepting his daughter's choice. You two look very happy together!
That man doesn't know what an open mind is.
Shogo, completely understand the travails. My wife is from Japan and I'm from the U.S. My wife was pretty much disowned for a few years. Until our first child and the question was asked - can I see the baby...A few years later I gave my wife's sister away at her wedding (dad had passed on years before) to cement my place in the family. Patience and showing your taking care of your spouse are the keys.
My wife and I had a similar "marathon" first date like that. It was in Las Vegas at a company function. A few VERY late nights and we are also still "very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, ...very, very, very, very, very, very..."
Yes, same here. I guess when you're meant to be, everything just clicked. 19yrs of marriage here.
@@kuepandan really? Man, I'm VERY skeptical of marathon first date. Well apparently, when you're made for each other, everything is possible.
Most times, all Daddy wants to know is that you'll take care of his daughter
🇯🇵🇨🇳
LEGENDARY DUO 🔥🔥🔥🔥
Watching this really just made me think of how Shogo is exactly what an ally should be. Just listen to those who are going through a hard time. Don't take what is being said personally and don't try and defend yourself. Just listen.
🌸🌸" We had lunch together.....and we met at 12 o clock """ and then we started dating""" " omg that was insane !!!! wish my life was that smooth 😂😂😂🌸🌸
What a beautiful story! I would be interested to know why Harumi's parents moved to Japan in the first place and raised her there.
Likely the reason people generally move. To somehow have a better life... regardless of government, that's why people USUALLY move to another country.
I would assume so they didn't have to pay for their second child.
Job demand, maybe. Really simple… I think some comments demonstrate a lack of common sense…😂🤣
Why her parents hate jpn so much but live and raise theirchildren in jpn?
If u wanted your kids to marry a jpn, wouldnt u do exactly just that with your kids?
@@ladybug8975 No one wants their children to marry a person from a particular country… Strange words…
Harumi san, Shogo san, thanks for sharing this. I personally think it's very important that people outside of Japan and China understand the tension between those two countries, where this tension comes from and what the effects from this tension is for the people living there. I am glad you guys have been able to defy the odds and have found eachother and found happiness in eachother's love despite history and what that does to people. When I was in Japan 2 years ago, I could see that the youth and forward thinking elders start trying to defy old thoughts and ways of thinking, but that it's hard for many people to forget about things happening in the past and in which atmosphere you have been brought up. It is eady to think it is an Asian thing, as Asian countries are generally being thought of as the most traditional and concervative, but as I think of it, it happens in the Netherlands and the rest of Europe too. I am all for remembering how aweful people can be to eachother, what nazi people did to others (it was not only german people, but also nationals that alligned themselves with the nazi's) and for instance what Japan has done to other countries, but also what the Nethetlands has done to Indonesians and Africans. But we can't have the youth continue to blame nations anymore for what people did in history. We are not our parents, grandparents or elders from far into the past. We should remember not to make the same mistakes, but we should not differentiate nations on their past. No nation is inherently bad. At least my time studying at Obirin with Japanese, Americans, Chinese, Indonesians, Brazilians, Chechs etc gave me hope for the future.
I agree! 😭♥️♥️
I appreciate this comment. The sins of the past are real. But may future generations both learn from them and escape them.
This is a truly wonderful story.
I really hope the relationship between China and Japan will find a final closure to all the things that happened in WW2 and move on to an enduring relationship of finding common ground, mutual respect, understanding, acceptance and care for each other. Long live our peace.
Don't expect it to happen if people like Xi Jinping are in power.
I think everyone just wants to go on, but it's hard for countries if the opposite denies all historical events that could bring shame over them. We need to go on, but we also need to remember the wrongdoings of the past so they won't happen again.
Here in Germany, denying the Holocaust is forbid by law. It won't undo what happened, but it keeps it in the minds of newer generations.
It’ll be hard. Japan is so proud.
your guys' story sounds like something straight out of a shoujo romance manga, it's so sweet. :D
Dude, this story was so good. It made me so happy when you said your father in law accepted you as his son. I'm really happy for you two!
Thank y'all so much for sharing your journey!
My wife and I went through very experience facing similar challenges.
My wife is a Washingtonian, I am a first generation Immigrant from Taiwan with a strong Japanese heritage. My folks wanted me to marry any one as long as she is not a Chinese. As time went on, my folks began to worry that I won't get married at all and; therefore, their expectation changed. My folks told me I can marry any human female as long as I don't marry a chimpanzee.
😂😂😂😂
Ouch
🤣
I dunno man, some of those orangutans are pretty cute 🥰🦧
@@RealJohnnyDingo Absolutely right
I just celebrated my 5th Anniversary with my husband.
My husband and I are from different cultures. Him, being syrian… you know… I was rejected by his family, so our relationship was kind of sad, but since we loved each other so much, we just carried on.
Now we are so happy, and his parents finally love me as a daughter.
The fact that Harumi wasnt interacting with men in her schooldays and didnt easily trust men, means she was your fated one. Thats why she felt comfortable with you. What a sweet story!
😌
Currently dating a woman from Mainland. And I’m from Philippines. Hopefully we can work this out. More power to both of you ♥️
Any updates?
The pretty ones go to the States. The not so pretty ones will marry anybody just to get another passport
@@ddnn974 Hmm no. However, that situation is a problem with Filipinos, mainly with the states.
@@dabo5078 You dislike stereotyping yet you resort to stereotyping yourself, amusing.
@@ennui9745 the Filipino government recognize foreign abuse of their citizens as a major problem so…
What an incredibly strong woman, I’m thoroughly impressed by her strength of character and will
She is very beautiful inside and out!
My father is islamophobic and my partner has Moroccan origins and considers himself culturally Muslim... I am so happy for you guys that Harumi's father decided to support you guys. I had to cut contact with my father.
ありがとうございました！非常有意思！你们的经验和我🇨🇵和妻子🇨🇳的有些共同点。我就觉得很感动。只想说：为了中国和日本的友谊，万岁！🇨🇳❤️🇯🇵
She is a doll. You are a beautiful ❤️ couple ❤️!
I’m watching this for a second time because your story is just so moving and romantic. It’s beautiful to see you guys grow your family together. Congrats on your third baby!!
Two things brought me to tears in this video. When she said, "No I'm lucky." The genuine love I felt from that simple rebuttal - powerful. And when her father said, "Your mother spent 24 years to raise my new son." Boy!!! As someone who grew up with a single mom, and is a hopeless romantic at heart. Those two lines absolutely made me tear up heavily.
Thank you for sharing your stories! I admit: I got a bit misty eyed.
Yes... There was some dust in the air or something when I watched this video...
I'm just crying for real here...!
its called fate, everyone deserve to be happy despite we must face a lot of obstacles in life.
your story are so precious to int. couples who are not blessed by their relatives or parents
wish you a happy family and keep inspiring !
And we still didn't want to go home...
Legend has it that that date night technically never ended.
6:33 "We're still very very very very very very..." in love? You guys are too cute:) Happy your relationship worked out. I can't imagine how hard it must have been for you guys.
"But your mother used 24years to raise my new son"...damn this got me!
Wonderful video, loved the vibe!
I am not Japanese or Chinese I’m Puerto Rican born and raised in NY but I really have a lot of respect and interest in both cultures this story is amazing so happy for the both of you what a beautiful family you guys have
When you told us what Harumi’s father said about your mother, and called you his “new son”, I burst into tears. That is so beautiful, and I’m so happy for y’all (now expecting child number three, they must be even more excited!)
''And then we met up at 12o'clock... and then we started dating HIHIHIHIHAHAH''
Loved it. Absolutely loved it.
An amazing modern Romeo and Juliet story!
Au contraire,,this is happy one
Thankfully not
Romeo and Juliet died, and their death caused the end of the vendetta between their two clans that had tried to prevent them from being together, because the relatives got so sad they did not want a repeat of that incident and would rather forget about the vendetta. That was the point of the story.
My wife is Japanese and I'm Mexican and we ha a son and a daughter. We have being together almost 13 years we own an apartment in Tokyo ,Japan ,one home in Monterrey Mexico and one in South Padre Island in Texas. We are a Happy Family
I believe if you actually love your child you’d never get in the way of their happiness and the one they love. The fact that the dad eventually came around just shows that he indeed does love his daughter.
What a beautiful first met stories
A beautiful story that love can prevail even in spite of the anger between two cultures. Good for you guys - there is hope for mankind.
Harumi's speech about you making her a happier person was so heartwarming 🥺❤️ You two are such a lovely couple! I always say there are terrible and wonderful people of any culture culture, any ethnicity, any sexuality and any background. And if you find someone you appreciate so deeply and who you so genuinely believe is a person that makes your life better as you two do with each other I think you should hold onto them no matter what others think or say. I do understand though that situations like these can be very difficult and hurtful and I am really happy that in the end her family was able to overcome their prejudices and fixed mindsets to see you for the person you are and to be happy for you two. I wish you both and your child nothing but the best ❤️
You two are SO cute together! Many couples actually start off as you did...talking and not wanting to leave each other. May you have many more happy years together. I am so happy for both of you after having gone through such a painful episode during your dating time. Peace to you both and to your families.
Never blame someone born 40 years later for the sins of others.
How lucky, Shoogo got a loving father, Dad got a devoted SIL who worships his magnificent daughter.
And daughter is as pretty as her Mom and has a great family.
Just cherish each other. Be Blessed. My wishes to you and your wife.
I'm so glad the two of you persevered through all of that. Hearing about how happy you made Harumi and how her family realized that she was changing for the better, brought tears to my eyes. I also commiserate with Harumi...I can't drink either. Alcohol flowing everywhere and I can't touch a drop of it. lol
Whatever someone does with their lives it's up to them. Parents shouldn't force their children to do anything. They should guide them of course and maybe try to stir them in a certain direction. But once a child has made up his mind, there should be a lot of support. Your wife is pretty amazing for standing up to her family.
So beautiful a story 😭 this could be a Netflix K drama movie.
I really like how gentle and polite person Shogo is. Listening to his wife with such a care and passion. What a kind soul! 👍
I'm getting strong Mr. Roberts vibes from this guy. What a beautiful soul.
You mean the Mastermind?
"And we still didn't want to go home "🤣. Best
The way that he and his wife communicate in Japanese and English is so adorable to me! There’s no second to process the mental translation, it’s seamless so I know this must be natural to them.
Wow, man. That got me. So moving, especially when your wife cried while you were recalling that moment in your wedding. At that moment, you could feel how challenging, difficult, and painful that road was for her. You really light up her life. I'm sure you feel the same way about her. I'm so happy for you both! Happy Anniversary!
I'm happy for you guys! I would like to meet a guy like Shogo. Gentle, cute and funny. Harumi is a good catch, too. I love how she said she changed after dating Shogo. It's the character devt. that I always look for in a story. She's also such a wise and strong cutie. I'm glad she didn't give up on him or her own dad. I wish you guys all the best! Happy 3rd anniversary!
You two changed her entire family for the better.
Oh man 🥺 the father's words punched a tear out of me.
Such strong words of acceptance . 😭 I'm so happy for you two.
Relationship goals! You are such a beautiful couple who have shown how through persevering you overcame the initial hostility to what sounds like a warm relationship with your in-laws.
I love how shogo is always smiling 😃. I love the positivity that he expresses towards the audience.
This story makes me cry.
Thank u Shogosan. I’m currently dating a Japanese girl and going the same experience. You have motivated me to endure and stay positive
May you and your family be blessed 😊
很有意思的故事。祝你们周年快乐。
This is a great story. I am so pleased that you and your wife felt comfortable sharing this publicly. There is obviously a lot to learn from it. Cheers!
So happy when love and marriage can overbridge nations and cultural differences and even negative experiences❤️
I think it’s really neat how you two communicate with each other
What an amazingly heartwarming story! The very best wishes to you both from a random stranger on the internet, 😅 very glad that you were able to overcome these difficult challenges, good on you! 祝你们百年好合，白头偕老！
I love the level of respect you show for each other. Listening to stories like this is what make families come together and happy. Cheers on your marriage and blessings everyday to your marriage.
I seriously love the chemistry you two have with each other. Noon to 4am?! I wish I could have that ability to talk to a girl that long without any awkward silence.
Such a nice story! It's great to see that, wherever you are in the world, young love overcomes old hatreds.
Great going, Harumi and Shogo! Your love is a true inspiration for other couples who struggle with family issues in a mixed-culture/race relationship. " The heart wants what the heart wants."
Thanks for sharing your story. My meeting my hubby was online and we both was looking seriously for a marriage partner, not just saying for fun.
So we took 2½ years to get to know one another then met, started with him for 3 months, me in a spare bedroom in a new apartment her moved into just to make sure I was comfortable and he was very much a gentleman.
We got married a few months later because our relationship online was exactly the same in person, so the last lucky day July 26th 2019 got married.
OMG my Japanese in-laws are in Fukuoka too, Kitakyushu! Haven't seen them since 2019 because of corvid-19.
Very powerful video. Thank you for sharing it. しょうごさんありがとうございました
Harumi and Shogo's relationship has a much better story than Twilight or 50 first dates.
Thank you sharing your story.
I love studying history. I know that the history between China and Japan, hasn't exactly always been cordial. That being said, your story made me happy. I can't imagine that your life together has been without struggle. However, struggle makes us stronger.
Thank you
Such a sweet couple, and you can tell their very in love. Congratulations on finding each other and starting your family with your precious daughter. ❤️🇺🇸
17:40 - That's ok, Shogo, more champagne for you! Congrats to you and Harumi that you have two special little girls. I am so glad I found your channel.
open minded and care about each other is what makes us human, those wounds of war and history may never be healed in between Countries but glad to see a young generation willing to let go of their prejudice to embrace a peaceful future. Best wishes for you! from China.
Thank you both for sharing this romantic story (and its struggles). I'm delighted with the happy ending. I have had Asian people in the UK as my patients as a psychologist. I now retired for 20 years and live in Thailand. However, it still feels so alien to me for families to have such an impact and demands on adult members. I value my freedom to be autonomous. I love you as a couple.
Such a heart warming and touching story. Brought a tear to my eye too.
Put a smile on my face the hours of talking and hanging out reminds me of when I first started dating my wife. Best of luck with your family may your children be strong healthy and happy!
Am I the only one who burst into tears of joy the second they heard "our daughter" ?
So you had a "Romeo & Juliet" beginning, but lived to tell about it, and love conquered fear & doubt: Congratulations on living such a lovely story, and for sharing with the rest of us! Best wishes for many more happy anniversaries!
You're such a beautiful family. I admire Harumi for never giving up. Hope you will always be happy together. All the best for you guys!
Normally I find these “how we met” stories corny, but this is actually really cute.
This is so wholesome and sweet 😊
Its funny(in a positive way)when you first fell in love with someone. I remember when i fell in love with my wife 18 yrs ago
Thank you for sharing your story Shogo. My dad’s parents always wanted him to marry a Hawaiian girl so they were upset when he decided to marry my Caucasian mom. They ended up loving her more than my uncle’s Hawaiian wife.
I'm not crying, just onions making me year 😭😭😭 I love this!
I'd say there's a difference between "not caring" and "not minding", e.g. "my mother wouldn't mind, because she just wants me to be happy", but "my mother wouldn't care since she is not interested into me"