Just imagine, preparing all of your forces to defend against an almost unstoppable horde of mongols... and then them never coming. THEN you hear that for some reason a Spanish horde appeared in North Western Europe even though their own homeland is actively at risk from the Middle Ages version of the U.N.
Will be hilarious if Jon's defences are built up so much with cannons that the Mongols don't even pose a minor threat when they decide to finally stop bumbling about
So, it has come to this... the Danish launched an entirely unprovoked attack agaisnt one of our armies, taking 40 brave Mongolians to the afterlife. This action cannot go unpunished. DENMARK! You brought this on yourselves! Every ounce of our fury, and every arrow in our quiver will be directed at you, and our wrath shall fall like a hammer, crushing your empire to dust! Eventually. We may be lost still, Satnav isn't working. Satnav is Hulagu's more intelligent second cousin who is in charge of pathfinding. He's been leading us in circles looking for hanging gardens or something.
Yo, Mr. Khan, if you find a wandering Irishman, get him to bring me back!!! Orthodox Hell gets boring after a while, and you either need me, or one of my secret Arab, Turkish, Persian, or Kurdish bastards, in order to make Silk Road Chicken Fingers
Also, if that Irishman happens to be a blatantly evil priest named Sean, don’t ask him to do it, he’ll just start exterminating you guys, and to be honest, I’ve always loved you and want to father the children of every living, and possibly nonliving, Mongolian woman!
Years after this series came out, I'm binging through it for the first time. If you ever still check notifications for this account, I want you to know that I have enjoyed all of your comments.
When you load up youtube and you see in your recommended page that beautiful purple thumbnail that can only mean one thing.....another medieval 2 total war video. best part of my day
Spain: “France is on our border and on the brink of destruction, Portugal is divided and weak.. Let’s declare war on the largest empire in Europe that doesn’t even share a border with us!”
Hungary declared war by sailing one ship from the black sea to Ajaccio to blockade a port for one turn. I've seen the A.I. do some incredibly weird crap
You really think the Mongols are *discussing* horses? You know, with all that going back and forth and up and down I do believe they are doing something completely different... Probably also with horses.
The Daily Hugalu The Spanish Declare war! The Spanish intervene in a conflict in Europe out of the Iberian peninsula. This was unexpected, and the people demand peace. Many people are protesting about this in Spain. I hope no one dies. My fortune teller is telling me that there is some thing similar in the future called “Vietnam”. He is to be replaced.
Norse swordsmen don't have armor-piercing bonuses, so perform much better against anything with significant armor, which at this point in the game will be most things - though norse swordsmen are definitely more cost efficient.
It's a little weird that the Spanish went all the way up north to attack, but I guess that makes sense. It's the only place where they can truly Rennes-dezvous with us.
A Fat Dalmatian To be fair, in a lot of the series he sorta is. Ignoring the Kill Everything series, we still have Skyrim, where he sorta stopped being a hero around the time he got a Benor. We also had the Mighty Ducks who were pacifists that took over the galaxy. Rome where he took the Mediterranean. This where he's pretty much at war with everyone. A Total War, if you will. And the Warhammer series, where he is actively trying to destroy the world
Jon! Did you know clicking your faction's icon in the bottom right hand corner of the screen during a battle helps you identify which units are your's. I use it a lot when I play, please try it. Also, the reason why Portugal and Spain's AI freak out is because of how it checks who invade. The AI looks at the garrisons of all neighboring territories and uses that information, along with the faction's reputation, when deciding whether or not to attack. What's considered a bordering territory is not limited to adjacency by land; however, the game considers territories that can be linked by sea trade to be neighboring as well. Since Dublin and Caernarvon can establish trade routes with Spanish and Portuguese ports, the AI for those factions consider those as possible targets. Since most people consider those settlements fairly safe from invasion and don't put large garrisons in them, they are prone to getting targeted.
Daily plug for Hyrule: Total war. Speaking of gunpowder, there's a faction Jon might quite enjoy in the game with an army of bear-riding gunner cavalry, literal organ guns, and giant walking trees with cannons built into their trunks.
I know, right? Usually it feels like Jon's narrative is the only thing that keeps people around for the TW:Rome or TW:Medieval series. (because without it we would just watch him how he exploits/cheeses through every weakness the AI has) But now he actually had a fight without a predetermined outcome. At least it sounded like he had a lot of fun with it.
I've watched... one by one... as every SINGLE Empire has attacked you. Your Allies, and Enemies alike have attacked you. The Pope ALWAYS punishes you for it... and yet SOMEHOW, YOU have a poor reputation?! This game makes no sense when it comes to war and peace, and reputation.
It's because the game considers attacking someone with whom you have trade rights to be untrustworthy. Kind of weird but that's the main thing screwing with his rep. Also, sacking, exterminating, and executing captives all contribute.
You ever make an army of nothing but gunpowder troops? Its ridiculous how much you can take out using it as a expendable army that just takes a hill and fires. Surround them create a kill box all armies crumble so fast even calvalry. Its the old artillery x4 trick make armies flee via massive losses and panic......it's crazy.
Lots to do! Take Inverness, Frankfurt, Vilnius, and Bran (for starters); defend Egypt against the Sicilians; assassinate targets all over Europe; install Cannon Towers in the Middle East, and develop gunpowder technology wherever possible. And much of that could come in the current or next turn! =^[.]^=
Our chief weapon is surprise... surprise and fear... fear and surprise... Our two weapons are fear and surprise... and ruthless efficiency... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency... and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope... Our *four*... no... *Amongst* our weapons... Amongst our weaponry... are such elements as fear, surprise... I'll come in again.
Kind of. You can kill the Pope and wipe out the cities, but the faction just keeps asking Catholic factions for new capitals, and cardinals keep becoming Pope. To eliminate the Papacy for good, you have to play as a non-Catholic faction and eliminate literally every Catholic faction.
I started playing this game because of you Jon and I chose to start as Venice. Obviously the Byzantines attacked me straight from the start, which is what I expected. Then the Byzantines allied with Hungary, The Imperials, France, The Papal States, and Sicily... now I have ALL my borders threatened, and the Pope hates me... I started my campaign like around a week ago, and I've barely gained any ground... My luck...
Don't forget to buy canon towers in your southern estates to punish the mongols for making you wait for such a long time... By the way I'm happy to have guessed the title of this episode in my comment of the previous video ;o)
Watching Jon use drag select and send a whole unit of spearmen to run through the Spanish instead of staying on defense at the gates. Can we just throw money at him to get his perception increased?
Just imagine, preparing all of your forces to defend against an almost unstoppable horde of mongols... and then them never coming. THEN you hear that for some reason a Spanish horde appeared in North Western Europe even though their own homeland is actively at risk from the Middle Ages version of the U.N.
Oh no! Don't get excommunicated! Then every Catholic faction will attack y- oh wait nevermind
sorry for the long wait, we are just waiting for Timur to be born.
The Timurid Horde
Oh, don't worry, the Mongols are in no rush.
Fumbochen My name is just some horrible dogshit that I'm waiting to change.
Will be hilarious if Jon's defences are built up so much with cannons that the Mongols don't even pose a minor threat when they decide to finally stop bumbling about
I get the feeling that the Mongols will end up like Egypt in Rome. Jon telling us they're terrifyingly powerful, and than just steamrolling them.
Brandon Sauve That seems more than likely
So, it has come to this... the Danish launched an entirely unprovoked attack agaisnt one of our armies, taking 40 brave Mongolians to the afterlife.
This action cannot go unpunished. DENMARK! You brought this on yourselves! Every ounce of our fury, and every arrow in our quiver will be directed at you, and our wrath shall fall like a hammer, crushing your empire to dust!
Eventually. We may be lost still, Satnav isn't working. Satnav is Hulagu's more intelligent second cousin who is in charge of pathfinding. He's been leading us in circles looking for hanging gardens or something.
Yo, Mr. Khan, if you find a wandering Irishman, get him to bring me back!!! Orthodox Hell gets boring after a while, and you either need me, or one of my secret Arab, Turkish, Persian, or Kurdish bastards, in order to make Silk Road Chicken Fingers
Also, if that Irishman happens to be a blatantly evil priest named Sean, don’t ask him to do it, he’ll just start exterminating you guys, and to be honest, I’ve always loved you and want to father the children of every living, and possibly nonliving, Mongolian woman!
Years after this series came out, I'm binging through it for the first time. If you ever still check notifications for this account, I want you to know that I have enjoyed all of your comments.
Jon get excommunicated by the pope, worst case you can arrange an "accident" for his holiness and be reconciled
When you load up youtube and you see in your recommended page that beautiful purple thumbnail that can only mean one thing.....another medieval 2 total war video. best part of my day
Jacob Spires exactly
It is always a pleasant surprise
I cry tears of joy when I see it
Spain: “France is on our border and on the brink of destruction, Portugal is divided and weak.. Let’s declare war on the largest empire in Europe that doesn’t even share a border with us!”
Hungary declared war by sailing one ship from the black sea to Ajaccio to blockade a port for one turn. I've seen the A.I. do some incredibly weird crap
Watching Jon completely forget about the dismounted huscarls & norse swordsmen is so painful
Last time I got here this early, the mongols were just bumbling around!
Wait... they're still doing that.
jon freaking out about the state of the battle while he had heavy infantry standing back doing nothing was peak MATN
That defence of Rennes was the most incompetent display I've seen in a long time.
Ian Crane
For fuckin REAL man
I'M THE BLOODY KING AND I DIDN'T EXPECT THIS!
your subjects provoked this war
"Who the fuck ordered this mess?"
"You did, sire?"
"No I bloody well didn't!"
I've created a meme
I expect a pun to end all puns when the Mongols finally stop discussing horses and attack.
You really think the Mongols are *discussing* horses?
You know, with all that going back and forth and up and down I do believe they are doing something completely different...
Probably also with horses.
He ordered his spearmen to run out of the city through the entire enemy army...
Why is Jon still scared of excommunication? He's already at war with almost every Catholic faction!
Major happiness penalty in all cities.
Cannons? Handgunners? Volley Guns? SIGMAR BE PRAISED!
The Daily Hugalu
The Spanish Declare war!
The Spanish intervene in a conflict in Europe out of the Iberian peninsula. This was unexpected, and the people demand peace. Many people are protesting about this in Spain. I hope no one dies. My fortune teller is telling me that there is some thing similar in the future called “Vietnam”. He is to be replaced.
6kvin10 the soothsayer ain't no fortunate son
I reckon Jon soon forgets about the ability to make peace...
Once the entire world is Denmark, then there shall be peace.
Many A True Nerd what if mighty Denmark begins to fall due to overextending its lines?
Anyone else notice that Jon has suddenly been using the word "trash" way more often?
He's trying to appeal to his American audience by selling out his cultural heritage like a swine.
John, just wanted to ask. Why dismounted huscarls over Norse swordsmen? They seem to be cheaper and more effective in general
Norse swordsmen don't have armor-piercing bonuses, so perform much better against anything with significant armor, which at this point in the game will be most things - though norse swordsmen are definitely more cost efficient.
WILL WE FINALLY SEE THE MONGOLS NEXT EPISODE?
no
brody allen probably walking east a little bit, then south slightly.
The heat death of the Universe will happen first.
perhaps the mongols won't even encounter even after the discovery of America.
I think they're trying to find Ivarstead...
I only listen to hear Jon say, "BALLS!"
Good God there was literally too much to shake my head at during that rennes defence lmao, think that was Jon panicking a tad
No one expects the Spanish intervention!
Or the Inquisition, for that matter...
Jon why would you throw in something that demoralizes your enemy right next to the point that gives infinite morale
These are five years old - I wonder whether Jon has finally managed to figure out what 'indirect fire' really means by now ...
He said like 8 episodes agin he figured it out
Also nice to see a comment not from like 6 years ago
It's a little weird that the Spanish went all the way up north to attack, but I guess that makes sense.
It's the only place where they can truly Rennes-dezvous with us.
I am starting to believe that Jon is actually the bad guy in this series.
A Fat Dalmatian To be fair, in a lot of the series he sorta is. Ignoring the Kill Everything series, we still have Skyrim, where he sorta stopped being a hero around the time he got a Benor. We also had the Mighty Ducks who were pacifists that took over the galaxy. Rome where he took the Mediterranean. This where he's pretty much at war with everyone. A Total War, if you will. And the Warhammer series, where he is actively trying to destroy the world
Are we the baddies?
Chocoboba Fett To be fair. The Unbidden left after the portal shut have a better chance of galactic conquest than Jon did when he ended the series.
i caught up from the 1st episode over this weekend
I live just outside Inverness!! All hail commander Karl!
Jon! Did you know clicking your faction's icon in the bottom right hand corner of the screen during a battle helps you identify which units are your's. I use it a lot when I play, please try it.
Also, the reason why Portugal and Spain's AI freak out is because of how it checks who invade. The AI looks at the garrisons of all neighboring territories and uses that information, along with the faction's reputation, when deciding whether or not to attack. What's considered a bordering territory is not limited to adjacency by land; however, the game considers territories that can be linked by sea trade to be neighboring as well. Since Dublin and Caernarvon can establish trade routes with Spanish and Portuguese ports, the AI for those factions consider those as possible targets. Since most people consider those settlements fairly safe from invasion and don't put large garrisons in them, they are prone to getting targeted.
We are the comments who say Ni!
Marcus L oh please mighty comment section that goes ni let me pass you may have a very pretty shrubbery in return
Noo?
NI!
Marcus L NI!
What was that they said after they couldn't say ni again?
I got trigged so much when he accidentally ordered troops inside the walls to move together with the cavs outside without realising it.
Daily plug for Hyrule: Total war. Speaking of gunpowder, there's a faction Jon might quite enjoy in the game with an army of bear-riding gunner cavalry, literal organ guns, and giant walking trees with cannons built into their trunks.
I was waiting for this title.
The schools also improve your generals managerial traits, theyre schools from Rome in that regard
It's good to see Jon challenged for real. You sounded so amused and invested. I enjoyed seeing greatly.
I know, right? Usually it feels like Jon's narrative is the only thing that keeps people around for the TW:Rome or TW:Medieval series. (because without it we would just watch him how he exploits/cheeses through every weakness the AI has) But now he actually had a fight without a predetermined outcome. At least it sounded like he had a lot of fun with it.
I'm hoping when the Mongol horde finally takes its head out of its own arse it'll pour down on Adana and we'll see some Helm's deep level bs.
Bern baby Bern (disco inferno)?
I've watched... one by one... as every SINGLE Empire has attacked you. Your Allies, and Enemies alike have attacked you. The Pope ALWAYS punishes you for it... and yet SOMEHOW, YOU have a poor reputation?! This game makes no sense when it comes to war and peace, and reputation.
It's because the game considers attacking someone with whom you have trade rights to be untrustworthy. Kind of weird but that's the main thing screwing with his rep. Also, sacking, exterminating, and executing captives all contribute.
The Turks were famous for their great Bombards, so it's probably the Turks who get the great big cannon. (Thank you Age of Empires III).
In my medieval 2 total war campaign I was excemuncated and able to fight off every European power and win
The way you get cavalry to drop lances, are order them to run in the direction of the enemy, before your attack order.
I'd love to see Jon play Mount and Blade: Warband at some point. Seems right up his alley.
God I love those missclicks, make me laugh every time
Jon who is at war with literally everyone: better not upset the pope!
just name a city after me already jon
oink!
incendiary war pig why? nobody likes you we prefer war elephants!
*Heavy breathing*
King_Harrison 99 war elephant doesn't have a UA-cam account though does it?
That I've seen.
Is there a bigger Love story than John and the Norse Archers?
C IA Jon and the cretan archers
I take credit for the title of this episode
You ever make an army of nothing but gunpowder troops? Its ridiculous how much you can take out using it as a expendable army that just takes a hill and fires. Surround them create a kill box all armies crumble so fast even calvalry. Its the old artillery x4 trick make armies flee via massive losses and panic......it's crazy.
Do those "other functions" that those boats have help with discovery? (Of the americas)
Maybe
And also there is a game I think you would like, it's called mini metro
John, have you thought of doing a play through of Stick of Truth or Fractured But Whole...your commentary would be epic! :D
good video Jon
See Mexican Inquisition THIS..is how no one should expect you..
that didn't go well when they faced Alucard
Can you do TWR: BI after this. War hammer doesn't even feel like a total war game comparative to older games.
Marco Polo and Gunpowder don't unlock in M2TW until the first Khans are encountered (is what one would assume after watching Jon's playthrough).
Lots to do! Take Inverness, Frankfurt, Vilnius, and Bran (for starters); defend Egypt against the Sicilians; assassinate targets all over Europe; install Cannon Towers in the Middle East, and develop gunpowder technology wherever possible. And much of that could come in the current or next turn! =^[.]^=
I'm thinking two episodes from now we will be graced with battle against the Mongols
awesome
This year we're off to Sunny Spain, y Viva Espana!!!
Fetch the cushions!
Its the turks that get massive cannons, they had to had them to breach bizantium
Your way too behind on farming upgrades.....you would have more money it would stack up with the amount of settlements you have.
Our chief weapon is surprise... surprise and fear... fear and surprise... Our two weapons are fear and surprise... and ruthless efficiency... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency... and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope... Our *four*... no... *Amongst* our weapons... Amongst our weaponry... are such elements as fear, surprise... I'll come in again.
I want more night attacks
The primitive katyusha rockets
Nobody expects the Roman Empire.
so....I hear the mongols have WMD's, might wanna take care of that...
I expected it! And yall thought i was crazy. Ha haha ha ha.ha ...ha .... I'll go now
No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!
Oooooh, gun powder :D
Is there like, a uh, surprise on the 7 year anniversary of New Vegas release? Quick livestream of the game? Anything?
Denmark finally retakes Great Britain!
Welp goodbye king skapi
The Catalan govt leaders certainly didn't
BRING IN THE NEXT DEAF END ANT
give the pope 200 gold for 20 turns and consider yourself always in his favor.
... can you eliminate the Papal faction?
Kind of. You can kill the Pope and wipe out the cities, but the faction just keeps asking Catholic factions for new capitals, and cardinals keep becoming Pope.
To eliminate the Papacy for good, you have to play as a non-Catholic faction and eliminate literally every Catholic faction.
Jon doesn't seem to liks the pope. I say snake in the bed time.
Hey Jon, do you fancy losing a battle occasionally? Just to add some suspense somewhere. Thanks
Finallyyyy...
Where are the Mongols :( ! ! !
I started playing this game because of you Jon and I chose to start as Venice. Obviously the Byzantines attacked me straight from the start, which is what I expected. Then the Byzantines allied with Hungary, The Imperials, France, The Papal States, and Sicily... now I have ALL my borders threatened, and the Pope hates me... I started my campaign like around a week ago, and I've barely gained any ground... My luck...
Byzantines no europeans?
Gunpowder units suck in this game jon, maybe arty is ok, but you'd better stick to your crossbows
Don't forget to buy canon towers in your southern estates to punish the mongols for making you wait for such a long time... By the way I'm happy to have guessed the title of this episode in my comment of the previous video ;o)
Monty python reference
👋
Watching Jon use drag select and send a whole unit of spearmen to run through the Spanish instead of staying on defense at the gates. Can we just throw money at him to get his perception increased?
Where are the Mongols?
Hector Andem Mongolia
Please stop saying indirect fire it is incorrect.
No way. Impossible. I don't buy it
Not first OH SHIT I AM
Pls Jon regulate your Empire :( you're getting poorer.
Wow, still on this, really know how to milk a playthrough
I just love how Jon tiptoes around being concerned over Excommunication while at war with everyone that would care if he was excommunicated...