The Root Solution To People Pleasing & Loneliness
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- Опубліковано 21 сер 2024
- How to stop being a people-pleaser and how to overcome the problem loneliness with one root solution.
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Disclaimer: Some of the advice provided in these videos could be dangerous to your psychological or physical well-being if applied carelessly. By listening to & applying this advice you agree to take 100% responsibility for all consequences. You agree to waive any legal recourse against Actualized LLC, Leo Gura, and Actualized.org staff. This is not medical or psycho-therapeutic advice. Leo is not a licensed therapist.
Warning: Spiritual work is inherently risky and dangerous if misapplied or misunderstood. Actualized.org teachings are not suitable for people with serious mental disorders such as: suicidal depression, schizophrenia, psychosis, bipolar, drug addiction, or other psychiatric or medical conditions. Leo's teachings assume you have a stable mind and life. If your mind is dysfunctional or ungrounded, these teachings may lead to a deterioration of your condition and even suicide if misapplied. Self-help and spirituality are not substitutes for professional treatment for such conditions. If spiritual work is causing your life to unravel in unhealthy ways, discontinue the work until your mind has stabilized and you are safe. Actualized.org teachings are very advanced and can easily be misunderstood and misapplied. Nothing Leo teaches ever promotes physical self-harm. Any time Leo talks about “facing one’s death” he is NOT talking about suicide or physically harming your body, but rather ego-death and spiritual awakening. Never confuse these two things.
Warning: Psychedelics are inherently risky and dangerous. Only use psychedelics if you are willing to take 100% responsibility for the consequences. Do not take psychedelics if you are too young, too immature, on mind-altering medication, or if you have a mental disorder. By listening to Leo you agree that Actualized.org is not responsible if you misuse psychedelics and injure yourself or others. If you decide to use psychedelics you must exercise extreme caution and carefully follow safety protocols. Leo’s use of psychedelics is always done with extreme caution and attention to safety. Treat psychedelics like a loaded gun. Never use psychedelics chronically. Never take psychedelics in high doses. Psychedelics will not effortlessly solve your deep psychological problems. The less grounded your mind is, the more selfish you are, the harsher pyschedelics will be on you. Psychedelics can create deep existential crises. Do not take psychedelics unless you love the idea of deconstructing your mind and reality.
Honestly, if I wake up tomorrow and I'm the only person alive, a part of me would be relieved that I don't have to play the game of society anymore. A big part of the loneliness comes from FOMO and comparing ourselves to others.
But the vast amount of waking time goes in work. So ultimately you have to make your hobby into work or be happy in any random job
Get validation from yourself and not others
I would be relieved to not need pay the rent anymore lol
Well, I have good news for you.....
Yes, FOMO, esp on weekends when society is bustling.
“You can’t help others if you are enslaved to them”
R u Kurdish?
I started traveling alone 15 years ago. Best decision ever.
Traveling alone does not exist Leo said
I tried traveling alone and its worst thing ive ever experienced... Meanwhile when i travel wiht my friends im happiest person on this fking world
@@j3mioa509 you're needy.
@@hairylionking6186 ??
@@j3mioa509 she is probably just extroverted
Literally went to the cinema last night by myself. One of my favourite things to do.
Me too!
Yesss🤙🏻
Nice ...done that a few times...Batman v Superman ...Rise of the Skywalkers Shazam...Avengers etc You will find it gets easier the more you do it. ...what did u go see ?
Did that too, also travel alone and having dinner/lunch/cafe alone in these travels, giving myself all the little pleasures I'd want to share with someone, so enjoyed sharing them with myself 💜
If that is true, why do you feel the need to tell people in the comment section?
Leo seriously. We know its not important what we think of you. But please never ever stop sharing these incredible insights. It's such a gift to the world.
The best part is that you are still young for this amount of wisdom. I wanna see the 70 year old Leo talking about his atest awakenings and insights :)
Much love to you
70 year old Leo will be talking to fking aliens 😂😂👽
@@DunWorryJockIsHere😂😂
My favorite part was "That's some deep spiritual shit, if you go to amusement park by yourself"
Can you explain what that meant?
@@freemygrandma8752 Most people at amusement parks are with groups or a partner, laughing, kissing, sharing experiences with one another. Going to an amusement park alone and enjoying experiences and not feeling obligated to share it with others is like going on a date with yourself. It teaches you self-love and independence. I've done it, its actually been calming rather than thrilling in my experience but it can be just as amazing as going with a group, if not better. Its just different. You get to pick what you do all day and enjoy it, no one else calls the shots
@@amerjoud6527 Geez I'm an introvert but that would just highlight how INCREDIBLY lonely i am. I probably would end up sparking up a conversation with somebody or a group of people lol
@@freemygrandma8752 It may. But sparking up a conversation with someone there isn't against a rule or anything. You would still be going alone to start with, which is more independent than being with another person or group the entire time
@@amerjoud6527 i got it ty
"Stop measuring days by the degree of productivity and start experiencing them by degree of presence"
Alan Watts
“Everything in the universe is within you. Ask all from yourself.”
― Mawlana Jalal-al-Din Rumi
Walking through the woods, headphones on, I listen to you every day, you have been one of the best things in my life. I’m not just a comment, I’m a real life!! Thank you, I have changed so much for the better. I wish I could meet you and talk with you for hours and hours! Thank you so much Leo🙏🏻🕉
@c d. thank you🙏🏻 much happiness and health to you, greetings from amsterdam
Mirrored my thoughts right here ❤️
best wishes, but you are missing out on the woods.
My way of thinking changed for the better because of Leo
Seen from the outside "people pleasing" appears selfless and caring yet its quite the opposite. Its cunningly selfish because it disguises itself as helping others when in fact it's self seeking approval, recognition, etc.. there's nothing pleasing about it unless one does it out of pure love and kindness.
Omg I have this feeling of not being able to share the beauty when I am moon gazing or an insanely beautiful view (obsessed). You can’t take a picture or anything- it cannot be captured. There is nothing you can do except sink into it and savor it.
i go on a walk every single night listening to my favorite songs & just look at the moon , it really is a beautiful experience that i can’t explain
When I ask myself what I value, I find that it is in helping others. But when people pleasing becomes a part of that, it’s no longer a choice. It’s so meaningful to help and be there for people when you authentically want to do it because you have a strong sense of self.
“I am independent of the good and bad opinions of others” -Leo
There’s no good or bad, right or wrong. You know not to hit people with your car and what lands you in jail. Manmade laws
Both loneliness and people pleasing are related to our sense of worth. Compassion for ourselves and others is the solution
@@methsmokingneanderthaltrai5309 lmao
@@methsmokingneanderthaltrai5309 your name is hilarious.. lol
The solution is love
@@beatrizaceiton3408 love is one of the most blinding and destructive emotions there is.. it's hinders your ability to think straight and rationally. have you heard the saying 'love is blind''? it's a true and accurate statement.. there is no such thing as uncondiotnal love;love is always conditional.. you either love someone or you don't there is no in between. i say we replace love with compassion that's more logical...
Easier said than done
Earlier today I was feeling very angry at a dear friend because she didn't treat me the way I thought I deserved. That horrible feeling came from this dependency on external validation.
Self-love leads to loving others, and not being resentful. Thank you so much for this insight!
🐟 15. SUFFERING & HAPPINESS:
To understand the nature of suffering, it is ABSOLUTELY imperative to first distinguish suffering from pain (and too, happiness from pleasure).
There is a spectrum of pleasure and pain, with an extremely narrow neutral mid-point. Obviously, what constitutes a pleasurable or painful experience is dependent on an individual person's unique preferences. Not everybody likes the taste of chocolate. The feeling of pleasure/pain does NOT, ultimately, come from any external stimulus, believe it or not. It is located entirely in the mind and/or the intellect. That is the reason why highly-advanced spiritual adepts are able to renounce practically all pleasure-seeking activities, content with consuming simple foodstuffs and adequate sleep, and find continuous peace, happiness, and joy, within themselves (“ātmarāma” or “sva-sthaḥ”, in Sanskrit).
Furthermore, the adjudication of whether a certain experience is either pleasurable or painful for a particular person can VARY according to circumstance. For example, one may have enjoyed consuming dairy products as a child, but as a vegetarian/vegan adult, find the taste of putrefied milk (cheese, yoghurt, butter, etc.) to be revolting. For one who is dying of starvation, the consumption of cactus leaves may seem to be rather pleasing to the senses, even though, in normal circumstances, it may be distasteful.
There are THREE kinds of pleasure/pain: physical, emotional, and financial.
For instance, consuming one’s favourite kind of fruit is physically pleasurable. Being hit by a falling coconut - physical pain.
Falling in love is an example of psycho-emotional pleasure. Being angry at another - psychological pain.
Winning a lottery is an example of financial pleasure. Being robbed - financial pain.
There are three origins or CAUSES of pleasure/pain: one’s own body/mind (“adhyātma”, in Sanskrit) other persons/animals (“adhibhūta”, in Sanskrit), and material nature (“adhidaiva”, in Sanskrit).
Some “suffer” pain from lack of money. Others “suffer” pain from an abundance of wealth.
Some “suffer” pain from lack of food. Others “suffer” pain from an abundance of food.
The quality of the “suffering” is different but the NATURE of the “suffering” is the same.
OBVIOUSLY, in the previous paragraph, the term “suffer” is used in the stead of “experience”, because that is how the word is used in everyday parlance, in order to draw attention to the fact that pain can be due to an abundance of material opulence as well as a lack of material wealth.
GENUINE suffering, on the other hand, is the result of mistaking oneself to be the author of one’s thoughts and actions, and other persons to be fully in control of their own thoughts and deeds.
There are five forms (or symptoms) of suffering - all PSYCHOLOGICAL in nature:
1. Guilt/Shame
2. Blame/Bitterness
3. Pride/Arrogance
4. Worry/Anxiety
5. Regrets about the past and expectations for the future/Attachment to outcomes (i.e. being inattentive or negligent to the present moment)
Suffering can be COMPLETELY transcended by understanding its source and consciously avoiding its manifestations. For example, as a child, your mother may have been particularly violent towards you. As clearly demonstrated in the chapter dealing with free-will, her violence was wholly due to her genetics and societal conditioning, neither of which were under her control. Blaming your mother for her actions leads to psychological anguish, which can only be cured by focusing on the sense of “I am”. In other words, by resorting to one’s essential nature (knowing one’s innermost being to be Pure Consciousness), one is emancipated from all sorrow.
The initial feeling of anger towards your mother was a natural reaction to her violence, but the enduring resentment is existential misery. Any physical pain you may have experienced was just that - pain. That pain is not to be discounted, but it has probably faded-away into the distant past. The psychological distress or torment that you are currently experiencing is the ACTUAL suffering, and it can easily be negated by a proper attitude to life. When we contemplate painful past events (or possible future events) those thoughts occur, ostensively, in the present. It is simply not possible to experience the past or future - only the present moment and the thoughts and feelings of the present are experienced. Therefore, it is important to understand and acknowledge that suffering can only occur in the present and can be cured with mindful practices. It is beneficial to also consult a qualified psychotherapist on a regular basis, in order to slowly heal from such mental angst.
When a man kicks his pet dog, the dog does NOT spend the remaining years of its life being angry or resentful towards its master. Dogs have very little concept of past, present and future, but live their lives from moment to moment. How unfortunate it is that lower animals are naturally more at peace with their circumstances than we highly-evolved human beings! Even if several of the more highly-evolved species of animals experience some of the five forms of psychological suffering, it does not seem to persist in the same way as it does for human beings.
On a rather personal note, even before I fully grasped this teaching (and when I was a Theist), I sent the following message to my second ex-wife, which illustrates my understanding of her actions: “I want to assure you that I have absolutely no bitterness towards you WHATSOEVER for persecuting me. You are simply carrying-out the orders of your perverted, ignorant mind, and I pray that my Master forgives all your wicked thoughts and acts. My own heart is completely free of anger. I pity you and look forward to the day when you finally turn from sin.”
When one fully imbibes the understanding that life is completely and utterly preordained, and that no living creature has individual free-will (see Chapter 11), one has no choice BUT to quit blaming, shaming, worrying, being prideful, and being attached to the results of his actions. Deep peace and happiness arises naturally as a consequence. Obviously, the understanding of the non-existence of personal freedom (as well as all the other concepts in this Holy Scripture) are also the result of destiny. The unfortunate fact is, even though unqualified peace is available to everyone, particularly in the current age (due to mass communication), very few human beings are destined for it.
To put it very succinctly, true peace/happiness is simply the TRUE self. When the five forms of suffering come to an end (by liberation from the belief in individual agency), only unbroken peace of mind remains. It is completely independent of any temporal circumstances whatsoever.
The common belief that happiness originates from sensory or psychological pleasures is an outright falsehood. One can eat only so much chocolate before the pleasure turns to pain. Even a man who fucks hundreds of beautiful women will eventually tire of his sexual conquests, and attempt to seek satisfaction by another means. “Pleasure” is often conflated with “happiness”, as are the terms “pain” and “suffering”. It ought to be noted that there is a rather blurry line between psycho-emotive pain and actual suffering, so any confusion is understandable.
☮️
Can you email me this
It's very okay to be angry, it's just a feeling :) But you can be angry and then use that to talk things out or set a boundary. It's not either or. (anger and love). I hope you figured things out with your friend. Have a great day ^^
Well, if my friend speaks to me rudely, I dont think its healthy to let that slide. We can avoid bitterness, yet set clear boundaries around disrespectful behaviour.
What happened with your friend if I may ask?
Because ofcourse my own situation got projected in my reply to you 😉
@@zion367 She wasn't rude at all! She just wasn't ready to talk to me because she had to figure out her feelings, and I felt very neglected, because she just wouldn't give me any attention. She needed some time, and I should respect that. After some weeks we talked again and everything was perfectly fine :)
I got divorced 10 years ago and started doing all of the things Leo talks about here. I was miserable and deeply lonely. I decided that to have a fulfilling life I needed to learn to enjoy being with myself. In the process I got over feeling not enough and unworthy. I often prefer doing fun things alone, because as mentioned, it detracts from my joy when people go along with me and can’t fully enjoy the experience. I also get to take my time, explore what I like and do not need to consider anyone else’s needs or wants. This is life-changing advice! If you’re not doing this, get on doing it!
I'm literally alive because of your content. Thank you Leo for this one - brilliant as always.
Explains perfectly why I'm so happy alone
I watched my child, little girl, while singing and dancing all by Herself, happily unconscious of the world around her.It was pure bliss.
Sentient beings are conscious of the world they inhabit. Sentient beings are not only human, but also nonhuman. Both animals 🍀
must’ve been a beautiful sight
@@jarcau_vegan I interpret it as unconcious to the social matrix that inhibits how we behave naturally. Little children are not yet pushed down by this influence.
Children are innocent. They're perfect in this unique way. All of them. Tabula Rasa. They cannot truly hurt anyone as they have yet to be programmed by cultural or societal influences. Don't really "like children", but... it's like one cannot help but unconditionally love something that unconditionally trusts and is so pure.
Wow! Leo just preached this verse. Colossians 3:23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human
This man is amazing. He truly does have the key to a good life. Now think of it like this, we all live through our own two eyes within our head within our body. We all live through ourselves. Imagine yourself, being pied out to everyone you know.va piece of yourself goes out to each one. If you give all of your best self to each one of them. Your not gonna get any of your best back to yourself. Yes they'll see that part of you with them. You give it to them to see. But for you, you see yourself giving it to someone else, you feel defieted. It's not the person's fault either. Your doing this to yourself, they don't see it. They just want to say wow, that was nice, you have me your best self. Thanks moves on. While here you are have that part of you you give to that part of your world. They unconsciously moved on. Not their fault they are on to the next, your fault!! Your OWN fault and nobody cares. Your left like why??!? Not me!!! Yes you!!! You allowed your best self to go to another. ANOTHER, WHO ONLY WANTS TO RECOGNIZE THEIR BEST SELF, NOT YOURS!!! TWO WHOLE LIVES WASTED ON UNTRUE LIFE HAPPINESS!!! I GET IT, YOU ARE THE BEST. IF YOU EVER REALLY DO HAVE A CONSCIENCE, THAT YOU'VE EXAUSTED, WORN OUT, DID NOT HAVE ANYONE TO SHARE WITH, INVITE ME, I CHALLENGE YOU TO A NEW LEVEL. I CALL BULLSHIT ASA YOU SAID THE WORDS, THE FIRST WORDS THAT CAME TO MIND WERE BULLSHIT. IF YOU TRULY MASTERED THE TRUE ENLIGHTENMENT, YOUR POSSIBILITIES ARE LIMITLESS. AND THAT IS AN UNDERSTATEMENT MY FRIEND!!!!☺️ I HAVE MANY QUESTIONS STILL, OF COARSE, REMEMBER, LIMITLESS, MUCH TO ALWAYS LEARN. REMEMBER THAT COPACITY OF THE HUMAN ANIMAL BRAIN. 1% capacity maybe 2% there's ALWAYS more for OUR selves to learn. Don't EVER feel limited. You will NEVER BE. My understanding is LOVE! LOVE is limitless.
I love when he says, “it’s not a bug it’s a feature” lol.
That’s a line from Sam Harris originally, when he talks about Trump supporters. It’s a great line.
I felt was that was a scene of Mr. Robot
Strong message. I was in this cage a couple of years ago ..... I got through it last year April. I mark 1 year of pure intrinsic reward system.
Good for you, glad you made it out. I'm just beginning my journey. I recognize that I am stuck and I need to be free.
To be together is to be one, and to be many is to be alone.
The book "power of now" by Eckhart tolle explains this concept very well. Anyway , nice video
Try having a X-mas and/or Valentines dinner ALONE in a restaurant; I have done both and I can assure you it was so amazing and entertaining that is impossible to describe. Thanks Leo for this episode….
Is this sarcasm?
@@andrewbirkett698 hahahahaha, funny question; but no, it is not sarcasm at all!!
lol I can just imagine the stares and attention you'll be getting :P
Eating alone at a restaurant in the evening I would never dare to do
Self empowerment is more Important now than ever before ua-cam.com/video/WPRooENoqHM/v-deo.html
Yes more videos like this focsued on practical problems like emotions and day-to-say issues whilst based on non-duality -- this is clearly your forte and your best videos.
Agreed, I was considering unsubscribing
How is love practical though? It could mean anything
@@rockosmodernlife2984 we’re just saying we want more videos that we can apply to every day life. Not everyone wants to become enlightened
I cried at the fork scenario. This is the first video that I’ve watched from this channel. I’ve often tried to explain to people that, in the past, I admire grass, the fact that I see color, a chip bag on the ground. Everyone’s reply is “of course you see color” or “why are you smiling at trash?” 😂 When I’m deep within myself, I can look at anything and really appreciate the divine purpose of it. Everything but me. This video was needed. 🧡
As a child you (one) did not need a beautiful view or anything external to be happy. I believe we are born with self-esteem and then it's destroyed by distress at the way we are treated.
A few weeks in a row, ever video released has been reflecting where I am and the situation I am facing.
Absolutely magical ✨💫
Thank you 🙏🏻
The last couple days I want I've been watching the episode on how to stop caring. And it talked about being the people-pleaser and how not caring what other people think is really hard on people pleaser. I'm so bad I didn't realize it but it made me feel good to always be a people pleaser. So I feel good being a Slave and I feel bad when other people don't try to people please me I guess that's what I'm noticing. Now everybody's in the mood tonight man why do I need to waste all my energy on people they don't give a s*** about me just because it makes me feel good like who the hell program me to be like that. I had some stiff grandparents I can tell you that I was raised by them some quiet and I do what I'm told. I am so glad you posted this video. I had to comment right away because I'm so excited to watch this one thank you Leo. This better be freaking good man
W
Heye =)
People pleasing is a form of control/manipulation, to make others behave a certain way towards you, or to get your needs met by others. It’s very sad.
It's so easy to take this in an egotistic way. Some traps may include
-bypassing social interaction due to poor social skills (you're weird and you need to work on it)
-not wanting to be exposed to new ideas
-feeling your sense of superiority being challenged when you realized the depth of other people's experience
I don't think any action or way of life can be characterized as spiritual vs shallow. Or Godly vs egotism. Sometimes what's needed for your growth is silence and sometimes you need noise. For example, Leo's episode about experience.
I'm not saying this to dismiss the message of not being a slave to pleasing others but rather a warning as to be attentive to the nuances.
Yeah jordan peterson says that we need people to keep us in check and it actually feels good. He also says that some people are too concientious and need to incorporate their dark more aggressive side, while others are too assertive and aggressive and should practice being more concientious.
Btw I've watched leo for a long time and his explanation of love and I still don't get it, I think everyone walking away from this video is going to walk away with a vastly different interpretation, it's like he's trying to make it practical advice when it's totally not practical. Maybe this is what he meant by not being able to share his insights
@@rockosmodernlife2984 oh absolutely! Regarding the thing about Peterson, I think we just need to balance out our wellbeing vs others'. Some people act with "conscientiousness" when really they are harming themselves, which is really no different from harming another.
@@rockosmodernlife2984 also I think anytime you share an idea it gets distorted. Both because everyone has their own connotation of the words that make up a concept and because people are in different stages of their lives. I still think some ideas are more beneficial than others to be spread.. more conscience
@@anonmouse7900 how would you interpret this in a non-egotistical way? And how would you act upon that?
I think there’s definitely a balance. Seeking approval from others is (in most cases a fools errand) so I’d be interested in a scenario where seeking approval extrinsically is good.
@@wchristian2000 it's a fools errand but it's also biological and socially ingrained in us. You seek approval from others 24/7 the point is to be aware of it so you can be conscience and ultimately have a choice rather than to have others pull strings all the time. For example, I would argue Leo posting these videos and interacting with his followers brings him a sense of satisfaction. A sense of contribution as well as validation. The other example I would provide of validation being a positive aspect of society is any interaction with a customer service worker or sales rep. There are certain codes of conduct they need to abide by to exchange not just the service or good, but also your approval. There's no problem with these systems, there's just the issue of sometimes we have to go against the grain 1) to achieve what we want as an ego and 2) to contribute our greatness to the world (think revolutionary people who were shunned). Sorry I am tired I hope that made sense and that I also understood what you were saying, please correct me if it was misunderstood.
In the beginning it felt the same way for me too, I was like: boy if I'm down to just loving myself it means I just failed miserably. If no one loves you at least have the decency to hate yourself too, my mind seemed to say. Self hate always felt like strength and virtue. I can see now self hate is the single weaknesses a person can have.
Best way to do this: Remove all social media from your life. This will slowly get rid of of other lives (in your mind) to compare yours with and the fear of missing out (loneliness), and you will inevitably find wholeness. You will start feeling like the first human to explore the earth. Tried and tested.
Ironically, once you feel complete, you will join the social game again to spread your joy, which will bring you back to square one. Avoid this.
im a very airheaded person, so i LOVE when leo used simple analogies to help visualize his lessons, because his lessons have and still impact my life significantly.
_airheaded person_ no.
A co-Creator of your Universe, and the center of all Good within it. Yes.
Namaste
Hi
I feel like my relationship to my job is this way. I feel compelled to make my boss and coworkers happy, my reward is the free time I get after my work is done. I can understand the alienation that comes from spending most of my waking hours doing something so that I can do something else that I don't spend most of my waking hours doing.
Re-listened to this today in a favorite Tibetan restaurant of mine. It’s so true that everything becomes more magical when alone, this is what I always retreat to after socialization, where I recharge and find or reconnect with my authentic self again, in silence.
Loneliness has definitely improved compared to a few years ago. Now, simply sitting alone, listening to the birds and watching everything happen is just pure Joy. “When nothing is done, nothing is undone.”
People pleasing is certainly still there though, this might be connected to c-ptsd emotional flashbacks and residue effects of insecure attachment as well as the belief that there is something or ‘someone else’ to fulfill ‘me’.
“I'd love to give you something
but what would help?”
~ Ikkyu
If it’s truly the case that I am creating everything then I’ve really really fooled myself, so much anxiety for Nothing, essentially. 😅🙏❤️
I am coming to an end of people pleasing and I have always been lonely. But, now I am letting go of both because I am befriending myself and really getting use to being alone but with my own company. So...point for me is I would rather be with myself and enjoy it rather than pretend to be someone to gain others approval and friendships....no more hoops. No disrespect to people I run into, but I won’t compromise my values and beliefs for their conditional acceptance.
*You don’t love urself enough* 🙏❤️
( _talking from experience_ 😅)
Wow. Thank you so much for describing my autistic loner life in every minute detail and telling me that this is the kind of stuff that I "need to cultivate"...makes me feel like I am on the right track. LOL!
❤
I've never commented your videos. I watch your content for many years.
This is the best video of yours.
Congratulations.
The older I become the more I realize how important it is to stay mindful. It’s like making sure to stay hydrated, going back to the fountain for a drink of fresh water. The more I meditate, watch Leo and these videos, the more I find myself happy to be in my own company, because everything seems to come to life in its own beautiful way. Almost as if nature starts to breath and smile back at you. Life is so amazing :)
Leo, your 30 day day retreat notes are absolutely phenomenal. I printed it out and have read it so many times. You’re one of the rare few who have attained and retained real gnosis!
hey Sarah, where do i find those notes? thanks in advance
As I was thinking to myself, I’m feeling a bit lonely… ty 🙏🏼
My dear brother Leo, I got to know your channel during my difficult time and I realized I have so much work to do on my own. Deeply deeply I appreciate your teaching and sharing to the world. Love and peace to you and others
On God leo, thankyou in advance for making this video.
It be like that with his videos lol
Wow...wow...wow.......
Finally ! You always seem to make the right video at the right time, this is such a big issue, especially with dating
“They will never ever ever be able to validate for you the deepest Truth, and the deepest form of Love, and the deepest satisfaction in Reality. That only exists within yourself. That’s not something you can share with anybody else.” wtf Leo 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
I appreciate the advanced episodes btw 👍🏼
I learned this a couple years ago and leaned into it HARD. Subsequently lost my well paying job for being too playful, and broke up with my beautiful girlfriend because I wanted to pursue my love of music which she hated the idea of. Since then I’ve been pretty closed to letting myself just be happy. This episode will help me lean into my true happiness more, thank you Leo.
Wow! The moment I realised I can give myself these things I want from other people - approval, love, etc. - has been the moment my life changed!! For sure, it's a work that is ever in-progress for me, but I am so happy as it frees me so copmpletely from my social anxiety! Amazing!! :)
Extremely interesting episode.
Thank you, Leo. This is exactly what I wanted today.
Hi Leo I'm YOU and you are ME. I can touch anything and feel you, me and others. We create reality so we are everything and everything are us.
We all evolve with you Leo, someday everything will be able to be communicated. As you grow, your audience grows too. 💙
thanks Leo you have actualized Greatness! 🌞
i feel like new viewers have to watch Leo’s “God Realization” and “What is Love?” videos to fully understand every lesson/lecture he’s had since then.
Pivotal understanding
Thanks for the suggestions will do!
baby dont hurt me
Brainwashing is a long process
@@lightghost7524 are you not already brainwashed yourself?
Yes being so conscious has its problems in reference to not being able to share the depths. The greatest achievement is awakening, you cant share it & no one else knows or even cares, that's what makes it so rare & sacred. Can only be thankful. Awesome gold medal metaphor, I have mine ;) but Leo you can share it with other people in the conscious Olympics ;) thank you.
I'm 37, all my life, I was a people pleaser, staying single till at this age, now im taking care of my mom and nephew's at home. 6 years ago I took care of my dad for 5 years. I feel bad when they turn against me sometimes, all I do is to take care of them, make them happy. Now I'm searching things to change my emotion and feelings with this. It's bad for emotional health. I feel stagnant without my own family, husband and kids and career because of them. I lost my career because my dad had liver cancer 6 years ago, took care of him, and till now I'm stuck at home.
How's it going? I hope things got better. Did you move on to somewhere else perhaps?
@@carolrose I'm doing great. 😊 One of my nephew moved abroad and working.... Still with mom and taking care my own online business. God is good. I was touch with your message. Wish you love and happiness this Christmas. 😘
@@Jacparas 😍I'm so glad to hear that. Merry Christmass too and lots of love 💕💖
@@carolrose Advance Merry Christmas, thank you for the reply, that's thoughtful. 😊
It’s so amazing how I’ve been doing this a long time already. Leo put’s it out so perfectly. Grateful to see I’m Leo and Leo is me all a long true out all these years 🙏🏼
This video is vital for anyone on the awakening journey.. in order to reach the highest levels of consciousness, we must let go of everything we think we know on the human level, including the need to share our experience with others. In fact, by simply living from this space of increased awareness, or emptiness, it will automatically have a profound affect on others without us even having to communicate it in words, since there is only oneness. The one is in the all, and the all is within the one. The loneliness gets easier in time ❤️
From childhood’s hour I have not been
As others were-I have not seen
As others saw-I could not bring
My passions from a common spring-
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow-I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone-
And all I lov’d-I lov’d alone-...
Poe
Leo, Never ever listen to anybody who makes you doubt your work and stops you from sharing your wisdom. Your words have literally made me aware of so many limiting beliefs and possibilities that just listening to you has given me a chance to explore them more and look in a different direction which I couldn't see before. I AM LISTENING TO YOU. Never ever stop! Please.
Summary: true and long-lasting happiness comes from within more than any external forces
This is exactly what I needed right now in my life I was just feeling so depressed today due to my AVPD avoidant personality disorder it’s such a horrible disorder and just effects every aspect of my life and self esteem. I can’t stop people pleasing and being aware of it makes it all the worse
Did you have a parent that was narcissistic? Look back at your childhood, that is where you will find all the answers.
i feel your pain.. i am in the same boat going through the exact same thing
@@deedee7780 I’m not OP but god damn I grew up with two super narcissistic lawyer parents and it has crippled me. It doesn’t help that anxiety and OCD runs in my family and I have both of those which also causes me to be depressed because its very difficult for me to hold any job or to find a healthy relationship. Right now I’m unemployed and stuck in a toxic relationship with a selfish alcoholic girlfriend. I’m now 25 and totally financially dependent on my mother who only supports me because she doesnt want me to kill myself because she’d have to feel guilty about it and it boosts her ego to support me/clears her of any wrongdoing and makes it seem like im the bad guy and shes the good one. My dad is a selfish delusional asshole and I can’t even speak to him. I barely speak to my mother, just enough so she doesn’t cut me off because I’ll have nothing without her financial support. My life is so fucked and its 100% because of the emotional abuse and manipulation of my narcissistic parents.
@@mattnlogan101 sorry to hear that brother, stay strong 💎
As a former aoidant personality disorder sufferer, let me tell you, this is a fake sickness. We only want to avoid people because of fear of judgment. Judgment from what exactly? Paranaioa and trauma plays a key. Just because no one came to your defense before doesn't mean no one will. But now as adults, if you go out and people judge you and bully you and no one comes to your defense, that's when you start to be brave, and form a new surface to your growth and fend for yourself. Not only will you learn to respond to people's judgment but you will learn that that is how society works. We interact with people and learn from them.
1:11:09 " You cannot get somebody to love you because no amount of love from the outside will be sufficient to match the infinite love that can be found on the inside. And you will not be satisfied with anything shy of infinite love, because that's what you are [...] because deep down consciousness knows what it is, infinite love."
“Your dumb unconscious friends “. Lol. I love it !!!!! BECAUSE it’s so true!!!!!! This is why I was happy married and single because I was actually married to an equally “conscious” person but I am still happy as ever without him. Thank you for these excellent reminders!!!! Much love brother ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
10 years and I’m still inspired. Brilliant
Self empowerment is more Important now than ever before ua-cam.com/video/WPRooENoqHM/v-deo.html
This channel is truly a class apart..I'm just so thankful for it everytime you upload your videos Leo...that solipsistic bubble thought experiment is so profound..and it is counterintuitive considering how anxious the idea of being alone makes me. infact it's exactly what I need rt now since I'm gonna be all by myself at home for a long time now as my mom s going away this week...the thought of being alone has been so scary to me always and this time I ll literally put Leo s advice in this video to practice...thanks a ton for this Leo.. please don't stop sharing your insights, they are a light onto the world.🙏
In the book - Outwitting the Devil
He say's one of 3 ways, he causes people to drift is by making them have too many
"Uninvited opinnion" (The share button, gloating, rants, etc)
This video couples so well, with this book.
However, Leo takes it to a new level in this video.
Thanks Man!
Great fucking book man!
I've enjoyed your content for 6 years now. As much as I look forward to your new stuff, I think your most advanced wisdom will only make sense to people who already know or have the ability to learn it for themselves. There is already plenty to help people 10 times over. So if you want to stop, we will understand, you deserve to love yourself and to let go when you are ready.
This was stupendous, managing to sum up a collection of disparate feelings I've had recently. Thanks Leo
Also sometimes we are selfish and want to virtue signal. Instead of judging whether an action is really leading to anything good to yourself / to others or society.
Pandemic and quarantine changed me. I stopped going out and it was such a relief. I didn’t have to be anxious about the demand to go out and meet people and fit in. Continues today. I do my own thing entirely now. Life changed.
Clicked this view to let everyone know that this is the best thumbnail in the entire UA-cam archive. I'll come back and watch this once I've finished one of the other Actualized videos!
I remember developing this insight when I watched your Authority video about... a year ago? Incredible stuff.
Dear person, who reads it. Yes, I mean exactly you! Maybe we don't know each other. Still, I want to say, that I believe in you! You will certainly achieve your dreams and your happiness! Just don't give up and be honest with yourself! Now you have at least one person who constantly believes in you, which means you are fated to realize your dreams! No doubts here ^)
*Best wishes for you ❤️ from a small UA-camr.*
Lol. I have seen you do this post on several channels. Is it your project? It’s a good one!
nonesense... really.
Im 42 and have suffered with cptsd. You spoke how I could understand. You reached me on the deepest level at the best time. And it was necessary to tell you thank you so much for changing my life, explaining in a way something I already knew, but couldnt feeL until now. I really do see you. And am incredibly grateful ' on a healthy level. I maY find myself deeply now.☺🙏
I feel you are my brother.⭐
Leo, some-perhaps many-of us who watch your videos can appreciate your achievement; and more importantly, can appreciate your love. You just have to somehow come to the realization of this… For those of us who know, we are at one with you 🙏… The ultimate and definitive journeys always have to be traveled solo, but we can travel together as one. Kudos… and, we love you too 😊🙏
Yep. Although different than a God realization type of awakening, this has been my experience from traveling the world solo. Nobody will ever understand. It’s a weird sense of loneliness and self-satisfaction.
"You cant really help others when you are in slave to them" I love this quote so much.
Our love starts conditional and we are afraid to turn inwards out of fear that we will become selfish and unloving, but if you do it right, it deepens love to become unconditional and then you actually start helping people because there's no condition to disrupt it!
I think this video is profound to understand. A lot of people would probably NOT need psychotherapy if they watched this video. Too many people are searching and leaning on others for answers when the answers lie from within. This is one of Leo’s very practical videos, that deeply resonates with me.
"allowing my self to be satisfied with my own self understanding" aka, becoming a true grown up. I've watched you for years and have learned so much through your videos, and my own search through other people and myself. thank you. I think the hardest thing for you would be to move on from these videos because they helped you through so much of your insecurities. sounds like you're starting the processing of letting go and being that sage on the hill rather than a UA-camr. your videos are fully archived and your work here is done.... onto the next thing Leo, being at peace with yourself alone, not striving for approval. good luck if you choose this path and I will miss your videos but completely understand and accept a forever goodbye. hope you do it and cut the cord. I'm forever grateful for you
Actually, sometimes the social aspect of life is what brings us the most grief. We are just so self-deceived that we do not see it.
@@waterhouseelise Deep! Meditating on that.
I traveled alone had the best freaking time of my entire life. Way better than travelling with people!
I like both (depends on who you travel with of course) but nothing beats solo travel!
@@mooskamoo Indeed.
@cops and govern ment are gangstalkers what an unusual and interesting post. Surprised You Tube didn’t censor it though regarding the ‘AS’
I tried both and traveling solo is worst thing ive ever experienced... Meanwhile i had best time in my life while i was with friends
@@j3mioa509 Maybe you just don’t know how to enjoy your own company??
Thank you for existing Leo❤
You had a great impact on my life.
You are beautiful spirit! I am forever grateful for you! No I'm TRULY GRATEFUL FOR YOUUU! Thank you Thank you Thank you for everything you have done and will do! You have saved me! Blessings to you! 🙌🙌🙌
Just what I needed in these dark times.
It’s not dark times u believing that it’s false
Perfect timing. Thanks Leo
You're so darn right. The better I get along with myself the more I appreciate the people around me. It's really like the cherry on top of the icecream.
Hi Leo! I know how much criticism and bad judgement you have to face for doing the work that you are doing. And still you do it. I just wanted to let you know how grateful I am that you do what you do. You helped me tremendously. Thank you, Leo. Please do not stop this. I beg you. Do not stop. The world needs this. The world needs you.
loneliness is terrible... but you can never really be alone 👽
Amazing episode! Been thinking about all this stuff for a while now, love your description on it all ❤️
This is too good for words dude
This is relatable for myself. After wrestling for 18 years and working silently to my peers, everything was done for myself. I feel the 'tunnel vision' that you get in a fight or flight moment is the answer. Doing this religiously for so long I felt this bliss from the universe after destroying my root self everyday. With relationships working separately but maximizing self is what I strive for because you come together as one at the maximum.
Loneliness starts at 36:50
For me it was roughly 1992
Thanks Professor Xavie… I mean Leo.
Holy shit Leo. One of your best videos. So practical but yet so grounded in the non-dual wisdom that we love. Thank you
Leo. The love is radiating through brother. Keep doing the lords work. It means more than you could ever know.
LEOOOOOOOOO Can you make a video on how to get rid of negative programming in order to increase creativity and bring out child-like innocence.
Meditation is all ya can do
Gym, healthy eating. Spend time alone. One size doesn't fit all. People find certain activities that raise their consciousness but to another person it's horrible. Be your own experiment.
Kundalini yoga meditations and practises is an ancient technology that will re wire your brain
Reminded me of: "If you're going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It's the only good fight there is." - Charles Bukowski
Love that quote!
Its from Burkowski...love his mood as well...
It’s one of the best decisions I ever made. Not easy but I’m grateful for the opportunity to do it. Alone but not lonely
My social interaction is the worst. I never say anything to please and I also get stingy if I feel I am not welcome in any way. I like being blunt honest and contractual right of the bat which some people feel the conversation gets intense or dramatic which is not the case.
Another thing is that I lose contacts really quick and I am not able to build connections, I dont do things for others if they dont fit my principles and morals.
Another bad thing is that I dont wanna have friends because friendship for me doesnt represent dependecy or interest, frienship rarely can be built up after school years are done.
I love my cat and dog more than I will ever love a woman, maybe only if I get a kid I will feel the same love. I think true love can exists in rough times, we dont live those times, we live comfort times where people can be removed like furniture and there is fight or common sense from both to discover the best in eachother and live a long life with someone that is always there no matter the external circumstances.
I would totally love that life full of useless party friends, but thats just getting socially high.
Everything depends on me and even if depression was a bit spooky a few years ago, I did lift myself out of my comfort zone and I feel great. Yesterday after workout was a storm and I sat with my cat in my lap in the hallway, the dog was playing with his ball and thunderstorm was approaching, such a beautiful moment to be alone from everyone else, I cannot describe how beautiful is the life away from useless talk, useless people, temporary love and psychological noise from social media.
I love being alone and I am not on the nihilistic path. If ever I see someone I like I will get out of my comfort zone and tell her, if someone want to be my friend I am not gonna be a savage, but this is my life flow for now and I feel happy to just kiss my dog and cat everyday. To be objective maybe I didnt had a complete healthy childhood and I am an imcomplete adult, but I am trying my best to do what I like in silence, basically nobody knows I started working out 2 years ago and lifting weights 6 months ago while fixing my diet, its enought that I feel healthier.
I am gonna give you a bit of feedback. I think you are too close to the camera, I am not looking for kisses, if we were face to face I would like at least 1/2 meters distance
😂 😂 I love you and your life
Do you still live like this?
I want to live like this