Diasporan Women Watch this before you get married to an African Man Living in Africa!
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- Опубліковано 30 вер 2024
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This is true. Even here in America be careful with African men. I was scammed by a Nigerian man who I fell in love with. For years he kept a mask on, we moved in together and one day he had had access to my information (SS card, birth certificate, etc.) and opened numerous bank accounts, took out loans and wasn’t even an American citizen like he claim. Granted I was young in my early 20’s but now I’m very careful and diligent with men.
That's because you were by impressed by flashy things.
@@Accuface2000 lmao hun he was in undergrad both him and I what did he have, we both worked a 9-5pm? Let’s not make assumptions! I love how ppl try to blame the victim and of course the person creating a UA-cam to bring awareness of the bad behavior would highlight your comment 😂😂😂
A Kenyan girl got married to an American white man, she lost her life, her money and the family had to come to the US to sort out her funeral plus the white man disappeared, and the FBI is still looking for him
Shit happens everywhere, with all types of human beings
So many other American women are successfully married to Africans
I'm sorry this happened to you. I hope you were able to recover financially and emotionally
@ASoulFulT why are you differentiating American or UK are worst because they come live with you and you do everything.while they have different baby mamas. You have good men and bad men period. Stop generalizing
My ancestors always said check the background out, before you jump in a relationship. Very important
So true ❤
Exactly. That’s why they do traditional marriage as well, they check the background before the parents agree. It’s vital.
@abenatalkslife Some young people nowadays think those traditions don't exist anymore(don't care) that's why they end up in trouble.Some take it as blessings.
You can do a very thorough background check and still end up with Satan or his son etc.
@@abenatalksafrica But sadly many women nowadays, cover for their fiancé’s or boyfriend’s wrongdoings, even to their families. Or some families do that as well to get some advantages of those unions.
Yeah the move fast I luv you love bomb and they keep mask on long enough to swindle you
This only happens when you marry an African man who doesn’t set boundaries. My husband does not allow his family to ask me for anything and he does not ask for them. As his wife I chose to take care of his mother.
That’s true, it’s still important to alert people though. Because some go in blindly without knowing what happen later on down the line. There are African with boundaries, sure. My husband is one of them, but many don’t have it because of the way they were raised. Often people born in the west that don’t have a direct connection to Africa, or they’ve not spent time in Africa or being raised with African values often, they’re not aware of some of the cultural behavioural patterns and values, so it’s important to learn and be mindful when going into a relationship with anyone actually, but particularly with men from developing countries, especially when they come from a poor background and don’t have means to support themselves.
@@abenatalksafrica I agree with this. Thanks for these videos.
@@abenatalksafrica My sister, I am now Australian but I am Igbo. I am disappointed with this video and this is one of our problems as Africans,
Reality is, many people in Africa are genuinely poor. If you have opportunity to help them go ahead. Do not disrespect them and aggregate them, They are humans and individuals. This western mentality of segregating is bullshot and people like you cry racism. Imagine someone classify every black in this wrong color.
Unless both men and women, abroad and in Africa come together and see themselves as one, you are cheap prey and you only cry racism because you are nothing. You are as important as your group are and blacks are now, regarded as nothing by everyone. You are just one of the nothing outside Africa celebrating you are outside Africa. The destiny of Africans lie in Africa. There are raw materials especially human who need to be tapped, invested in and waiting to glow. Sorry, your video is segregating and endorses racism.
Back in Nigeria I was earning well by local standards, so a lady in a western country would have just looked down on me? I faced this exactly when I came over, I was a pariah, till I got my papers and suddenly with my Nigerian experience, I was earning by far more than they so called Nigerians born in Australia,
This mentality is why it is difficult for Africans to congregate. We always look for something to make us better than the other.
There are effective ways to take care of people back home. Respect them, recognize their capacity, be frank with what you can contribute and see it grow. Do you know $10,000 can change someone's life in Nigeria and being very industrious the person can easily turn that to $100,000 within 5 years? Who can do that out here?
Ladies, vet the guy… make sure that you have an army of men who will also vet him and “agree” to give your hand in marriage.
💯
Nah, theyre just looking for papers
You are speaking the truth in this video. I've never been to Africa but I had the same experience as an American woman living in Peru. I hated the attention because I knew these men were simply looking at me as a way out of poverty.
What a strikingly beautiful lady! 😍🏵☘
Thank you for your kind words. Bless you.
That is what happens when you date or marry for wealth. I can guarantee you that the reason she accepted the man was because the trappings of wealth (i.e. mansion and expensive cars). There are were probably numerous other genuine men who approached her but she ignored them because they didn't have mansions or luxury cars.
I had a friend with the same attitude when I was in university in Uganda. She used to say "I can never go on a date with a man unless he is driving". She ended up getting impregnated by a conman who changed cars everyday and took her to an expensive mansion. She thought she had hit the jackpot. Turns out the cars and mansion were borrowed to impress her. The man lived in a one-room rental without even a bed (his mattress was laid on the floor) - a fact she found out when she was 8 months pregnant.
A good rule of thumb for women is this: be very suspicious of men who flash their wealth around. Genuinely wealthy men will not throw it into your face because they fear gold diggers.
Ah, see mindset. If u think abundance, u wont settle. Dont settle full stop.
This is the truth. They chase money, not good men. And end up as single mothers.
It’s fine to say this brother, but did you listen to the full video. Or did you share your assumptions based on your own negative experiences…
She told the ladies, do a FULL background check. Assure you join a stable family, or it’s likely you’ll become a provider in a dynamic where the woman should be the homemaker NOT the primary provider of housing, food, & more. Not the way it’s intended to be AT ALL … she said “Be diligent.” & she’s not wrong.
Some men seek women who make good $$, so they can use her as a source of income as well. It’s not only females that are gold diggers. 😂
A woman using her $$ in assisting the house is one thing; buying the house & paying the bills is another ‘thing’ entirely.. 😂
@@Accuface2000it’s not completely true. Infact in the past i frown at women who say they would only date a rich man but right now i understand them!!! I’ve always been of the mindset that peoples character is of more importance than their achievements, and I would give my heart to a man based of his character other than his achievement, but I’ll tell you for a fact, seemingly nice guys I’ve tried to date that has no money but pretended to be of good character in the very beginning only take, take, take yet give nothing back in return and there’s no peace guaranteed. On top of that, as a woman doing well for yourself financially but dating a broke guy, you’ll basically have to constantly tiptoe around his ego as basic relationship disagreements can be easily misconstrued. Right now my mindset is, i would only date someone with good character as well as a good bank account, someone that can at least fend for himself!!!!
100% agree with this.
Another thing to do is take some classes on red flags. Knowing what psychological cues to look for is important. If not def read some books.
That's a very good tip! Thanks for adding value to the conversation! Appreciate you.
Gm beautiful content and effective I watching you from ST.THOMAS US virgin island thumbs up 😊
I'm from St. Thomas, too. 😊
🇻🇮
Not everybody with money is on something, but the majority is dirty. Stop chasing the bag.
I don't believe she's after anyones bag. She basically is warning women/men not to marry out of country w/o checking their background. They will look to you to provide for the entire family
Ok…as soon as men stop chasing looks.
Thank you sis!!! Love from America!!
Good advice your correct. I don't believe or do o online dating
The people online are the same people who walk amongst us. Just be careful with everyone. People are conned and multreated by their own close family and friends too. The only difference is that, online can provide a certain level of anonymity, but it can be combated by the target doing their due diligence and disengaging if they don't physically meet the person. Don't do anything against your will regardless of sob-stories you are fed.
It same like Ghana man like to lie about property or business that they do not own. They will be the car taker and they will say that they are the owners of the house but when the woman got to know they will start hitting on them I had a friend in Ghana that that happened to I had to find an apartment for she and her son because he will come home and beat her most nights because she picked the phone and put him out there , I just couldn’t understand why he had to lied the the lady from the beginning I think if someone love you it wouldn’t matter what you have as long as you are honesty.
I have a whole video about this same issue. It happens all the time, and happened to someone I know.
@@abenatalksafricaWhat is the name of video, please?
They looking for a come up exatly
Educative indeed.Appreciated ❤
I will never understand the men and women who does this
I agree but that goes for men aswell
It sure does! I'm referring to women specifically because I've spoken to many women who have had bad experiences. Certainly it goes for mean as well though, yeh!
@@abenatalksafrica yh it's mostly men that lie about finances to be fair 😂 most men don't care what a women has unless thier broke
@@Ukboss1 And most women are so influenced by flashes that it's easy to lie to them. With respect, this video is stupid. I am in Australia and I take care of people in Nigeria. I find these line of videos selfish, irritating, and unrealistic.
Ive been there. Its too much
It’s definitely too much! It’s just necessary to go with your gut feeling, because most women, and even men, they know, but they continue on in the relationship. The red flags usually show really early on.
This is like GOSPEL..
YESS! I"M SITTING IN THE FIRST PEW APPRECIATING the DeLIVERY!
So. Ya'll never thought about this before running to Africa!
Exactly! A lot of silly men and women these days. Common sense ain’t common.
The Super Super Majority of Women from high GDP countries will way way way way more than the average man from an low GDP one. South America, Asia, Middle East, Africa, India, Central America, Mexico, As a Black American Nomad, I see women from richer backgrounds looking for relationships with men in low GDP countries and don't like that REALITY.
Lastly, that guy was a liar and of low character, but those people are everywhere.
So true , stay single and date
You are absolutely right.
Omg that sad that happened to that women who had to move out omg
Why did she remain with this man after she found out h was a fraud? And put chase his shelter?
Praying to know God's will and direction is the solution because they can hire some people to pose as family and relatives 🤔 but you are genuine yourself, God -fearing and trusting His leadership He will not fail you🙏
Amen. My husband is Nigerian and I was God-led the whole way.
Ask muslims man in gambia if they belief what you are saying. God has nothing to do with relation between people.
Facts I been there done that
You have to ask questions, in some Ghanaian culture, nephews inherit uncles properties, women don't marry a man for what he has, looking at the story I sense uncle doesn't want the guy bringing a woman to his house, always ask the other side of the story.
Uncles leave properties to their nephews, I’m aware of this but the man is still alive and he wanted to move back to the house with his own family. Fine, if he dies, he can have the house, but the uncle also has a family and wanted the house for himself, which is fair enough because the guy was also married and it was time to leave and get his own house. He lied and said the house was his own house, and that he owned the business. The uncle was fine with him having the woman there, but when he arrived back to Ghana, he wanted his house back which is fair enough because with his wife being there, she certainly didn’t want another woman in the house, she wants to enjoy her house and family in peace. I know the full story, the guy was caught in the lie, and now they have to live in a tiny apartment because that’s what they can afford, but when she married the man, he told her different story. Everyone has a right to choose the type of life they want, and the type of man they want to be with. She thought he had a business and was financially secured, which was an outright lie. The truth is, coming from outside the country, she was used to a certain ilifestyle and that’s what she was promised, only to be thrust into the middle of drama with her husband and family members, which she didn’t sign up for.
Even if it’s not a rushing relationship or marriage, this things happen, as well.
If you don't want to be the breadwinner of a family, would you want to other spouse to be the breadwinner instead?
Fair but have u seen the four horsemen lol be cautious tho, noted.
You are great. 👍🏻🇺🇸
When you first said check for who to marry, the first thing you mentioned was check if they have MONEY 😮…… hmnn 🤔
What I mean by that is this:
Check if they can take care of themselves. They don’t need to be rich, but they should be able to take care of themselves. Feed, house and clothe themselves. Often, they chase women from abroad because they’re looking for a meal ticket. Some even pretend they own houses (they are just caretakers if the house) then the lies come out later on down the line. Why should a woman with her own resources marry a man who can’t even feed himself. He doesn’t have to be a millionaire, but you’re throwing yourself into the fire if you marry someone who is penniless and expects the woman to fund his trip abroad.
@@abenatalksafricaOh I see, them ones that look for a meal ticket in a woman 😅
@@Michael.P247 yep!
They want a green card they want get out there I get them to try to convince me I am upfront I tell them I’m not falling for their trap i blocked them immediately thank yuo sister I hope this message goes to lots of women and pay attention
IIt’s best to explain from day one that they are not getting a visa or green card from you. Often, you’ll see their true colours down the line, because some will accept this statement and still pretend to like you, then later on try and find a way to convince you. Some women actually fall for it as well, this thing is still going on and many women and men are falling victim to it.
🙏🏾💚🙏🏾
💙
But why do you want to marry someone from Africa who is looking for the opportunity to have free visa?
@@OdopaFoods who is you? I’m warning people because honestly, many people need to be warned. And that’s the truth!
@@abenatalksafrica Young lady, I know is the truth! I though we are on the same page! YOU doesn't mean you as you in personal, but You in plural general population.
@@abenatalksafrica For the past 30 years, I have been advocating for any British born Ghanaian /Nigerian to marry among themselves than wasting their energy and hard earned money to marry from Afrika due to family links/roots. You marry STRESSORS due to cultural expectations.
The book about this issues will be out very soon.
@@OdopaFoods It’s an important topic.
@@OdopaFoods I understand you.
Its too risky
Thank you for your information.
Its too risky. I need this video as a reminder
Yes! It’s far too risky! Far too risky! Not worth it.
You are right
Why generalising....as Africa is huge, vast, various and very diverse continent with sometimes very complex traditions....languages et religions
...
Here we go with the "Africa is a continent" deflection. Cut the bs... you know what she said is true.
This is foolishness! Has MARRIAGE NOTHING TO DO WITH MONEY! VETTING YOUR MARRIAGE PARTER HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WHETHER PERSON IS AFRICAN… Why is it okay for a man to marry a woman from a broke family??? Many people would view this woman as broke herself… would she be okay with that???
I’m specifically talking to women that go to Africa and get into gunshot relationships. It’s important to vet anyone before marriage, but I’m being specific here because I’ve seen so many women get used and taken advantage of, both men and women actually, but I have a particular interest in supporting women. It’s very, very, very common for men in Africa to play “actor” and pretend they love a woman to get out of poverty, it’s the hard truth. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen elsewhere, but I’m talking about African specifically because I’ve seen more of it over there as I lived in Ghana for six years, and it’s rampant out there.
Real men would not be upset by anything this woman is saying because they want a traditional man for their daughters. You sound suspect.
A woman is not a provider in a traditional marriage. This woman is speaking from the point of view of a traditional culture. That is what men do in a traditional culture. The men are the head of the household and they are the providers. You sound like a scammer who is afraid of being caught.
Man get scammed by marrying broke African women more than anything. They are more likely to marry and more likely to take them back overseas and get used. Numbers don’t lie… it is actually uncommon for a woman to come marry a man within her age group and this happen. Auto mechanics, construction workers, and heavy machine operators and truck drivers can easily find work anywhere in the world … so a woman marrying such a hard-working African man from poor family is EXCELLENT option to take overseas if he truly loves her and is a Christian man…
@@abenatalksafrica Pertinent point being when men lift women from poverty its them doing the lords work, yet when women woman is asked to give there is this sudden uproar. We live in an equal world apparently, equal opportunity, to a point where women get preferential hires, are making close up close to 70%(ok more than 60%) of college enrollment. This has led to women taking over jobs traditionally held by men. So if the men are increasingly being left by the wayside where are the women going to find these well put together partners. Take the scammers out of it, that traditional man who provides, an image most women grew up is dying because the math isn't mathing. It's simplistic yes, and I agree the ladies need to be careful and do their due dilligence but also add that they need to adapt to the changing times unless they are prepared to share a man. A man of means is a blessed creature, will tell you that for free, he gets to enjoy the most feminine of females and for him the fact that they bring nothing to the table except their femininity is perfect. I think this is the reality most succesful women can't deal with, they see these guys as natural partners but unfortunately do not possess the one thing most men desire. Confusing times.
@@elliotcosmas you make a fair point actually.
What about if he's living in us
but what’s wrong with women being the bread winner of the family. I always don’t understand this mindset of women
The Bible says a man who does not provide for his family has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. Men are supposed to work and provide. On another note, if the woman informed upfront that she would be providing that’s one thing, but to make her think that you’re going to take care of her and the family and then expect her to do it is wrong.
Realistically speaking today's environment is industrial age. That means both parents have to work. It is about survival. If you don't work you starve. Women need to grow up and accept it.
Lol no women should not be taking care of grown men.
@@shalalala868 stop interpreting the bible to your own ideas -
King James Bible
But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.
New Living Translation
But those who won’t care for their relatives, especially those in their own household, have denied the true faith. Such people are worse than unbelievers
The old bible uses He and the New interpretation uses they and People, so in a World where there are stay-at-home men and Female leaders of countries and companies, people is the right one.
equality all the way!
@@shalalala868 This is complete foolishness. There is a reason why men are not marrying anymore. It is a degrading thing to just be valued when you are providing. Additionally, simply because you can quote something from the bible, it doesn't make it true. That verse probably applied during those ages. Right now, with feminism and the family court rigged laws, why is it that you only emphasize on that verse? Women can work just as men. The majority of women are no longer traditional in any capacity. Immodest attire, wild sexual past and social media etc. You will still emphasize on men providing for the family
This is true .. my ex counterfeit husband .. WSs from Ghana 🇬🇭 this situation is not my situation he was housesitting his uncles house 🏡.. said it was his and the uncle business.. he came to Britain 🇬🇧 shopping 🛍️!
I met him ,, we dated and then I fell sick , he (“Acted “) like a saint towards me!
Once we married he switched quickly, horrible lying cheating , even had a wife and son back in Ghana 🇬🇭 stole from me ,, put me in debt , which I had to pay of!
I cancelled his stay in Britain 🇬🇧 , he came looked for me near killed me beat me ,, police came removed him , he ran off quickly 😂, as he was going prison!
I finally got divorced from him after not seeing him for 8 years!
Ladies if they don’t have a British passport from any country!
Do Not Marry them or get involved with them !
And yes even then do checks !
That’s what many have been doing. Not only Ghana. They a family back home and travel and marry someone for papers, and at the same time they use these women’s to send their women and kids. So, ladies please. Be a aware of that. Do a background check, health check and do not give them money. You are being used to feed their families, many of these men are users. In doubt, if it’s possible do a prenup. There was a lady who were livid in Canada, she became pregnant and her boyfriend was from Angola, but was living with her. She then find out he was married and had three small children. Whilst they were together, he wasn’t contributing with rent or anything else. He was saving money off her to feed the first family and was also doing papers to take his family to Canada too. Look after yourself, put yourself first. Not all of them but, there’s similar stories everywhere, specifically on the internet. Take care.
Wow! This story is so common! I know a white lady in the UK who went through the same thing, almost identical story. The sad thing is that she had two kids with the guy. He ran off with her money, also almost killed her, and eventually got deported.
lol
Damn it....folks please write out proper sentences. Difficult to comprehend gibberish
It looks like you need a primary course in grammer review as well!
@@melindagraves5212 Is that the spelling of the word "grammar"?
Hahaha…dis is da internet 🛜…
@@henrykemka2164 , yuppp!