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5 Signs You Might Be Agender
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- Опубліковано 5 сер 2024
- Hello my lovely peeps!Today, we're diving into a topic that's all about self-discovery and understanding who you truly are. If you've ever questioned your gender identity or are curious about what it means to be agender, you're in the right place. In this video, we'll be exploring 5 signs that you might be agender. Be sure to leave a comment about signs that helped you figure out if you were agender!
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I just kinda feel neutral. As in I don’t care if you call me a man or woman, boy or girl, or other. I have never really felt connected to any genders. I am just me.
I'm a human ✌🏻
I am human, too.
For me it also feels like being disconnected from gender (It also does not make sense to me how much people allow it to shape their lifes.), but instead of not caring what I am called I feel averse to being called either binary gender.
Have you heard the term "gender detachment"? it was coined very recently and I heard about it on a podcast called "Sounds Fake but Okay." I also feel like gender just isn't really important in my life. While I don't feel any concept of gender, I also don't care enough to proclaim THAT I feel no gender. I feel that "gender detached" best encapsulates my feeling, and that "agender" almost implies that I care more abt gender than I really do.
@@evanramee796 Seems to be part of the experience for most agenders that described theirs.
But honestly, I am comfortable with my agender lable. It does not play that big a role anyway, being aroace shapes my life more than being agender on top. Could be vastly different of course if I was not aroace.
LITERALLY ME
Finding out I was Agender was rather tricky on my end! I am a "I completely lack gender" / gender-apathetic Agender person, with extremely little dysphoria.
For the longest time, I thought I was just a "chill cis girl," as I didn't mind what gender I was called by. I had questioned it before, but seeing as no other gender identity applied to me, I kind of just gave up on it for a while (I forgot to take *lack* of gender into account when I was first questioning lol.) Finally, when I was like 20, I had a lightbulb moment. I looked at all of my friends that I had made, cis and trans alike, and I just went, "Wait, they... actually _care_ don't they? Putting on makeup _actually_ makes her feel girlier. He _actually_ feels manlier after a good workout or a cool haircut. They mean it. They aren't exaggerating for comedy. That stuff actually _does things_ for them identity-wise." From there, I pretty quickly realized that gender was not something I have ever experienced lol.
As I mentioned earlier, I also have extremely little dysphoria. I was mildly uncomfortable with my voice until I had a small voice drop at 24, I'm a bit put off by the fact I'm short, and I have some complicated feelings around menstruation, but nothing overt or obvious lol.
I feel like I could wake up tomorrow with everything the same except for suddenly being male, and other than a freak-out over _how_ that could have happened, my life would continue as normal. Slight wardrobe adjustment, change my hygiene rituals a bit, and I'm good to go. My body is only a body; it has nothing to do with my identity.
I find myself most comfortable in gender-neutral language, but I'm not fussy about other, gendered terms being used for me.
Aaaand that's that! I thought I would share how I experience life as an Agender person and how I discovered it, in the event that this could be helpful to someone else. 💚
Thank you for sharing, I have similar experiences. I'm just me, I've never felt particularly masculine or feminine, I don't even know what it means to feel that way.
Some of this is relatable to some extent, but I think I'm a guy for a few reasons.
It's not that I don't care about my pronouns, but I wouldn't be mad at someone not calling me the he/him pronouns.
I may not care about some masculine things as much as a normal guy, but I still can feel the difference.
And yeah nothing else of this applies to me lol
Honestly, thank you!
Thank you for this video!
I'm genderless, but I think it's close enough to being agender. The difference for me is that agender feels, personally, too much like a gender identity, when I don't have a gender.
Two signs I had that I can easily share:
1. Being confused by what gender is, despite knowing it exists and respecting it.
2. Being ok with the sex (though not the gender) I was assigned at birth, while being ok thinking what if I had been assigned another sex at birth (specifically sex, because I do not have a gender. The fact that I've been assigned a gender does bother me).
I think that could also be gender apathetic
This is EXACTLY what I experience. But I do call myself agender because I feel agender, for me, does describe those things you mentioned. But I absolutely understand what you mean by "it's feels like agender has just become another kind of gender". When enough people start trying to make boxes around the expectations for gender (or non gender) labels, it does just feel like another "gender" type. 😆
I call myself "gender meh"
I just feel like gender is a big amount of stereotypes. Like, if we won’t have all those gender stereotypes, where is the difference between people, excluding their body?
(Sorry if I wrote something wrong, my English isn’t very good)
Not really. Ftm people transition but can still have a soft feminine personality, mtf people can transition and have a more masculine personality. Trans people normally never transition cuz of their traits, it's about your body. People are probably wired to think that a certain type of body is right for them. And not having that wiring is something about neurodivergency? Something like that.
I'm also really confused about this! What does it mean to identify as a man/woman? It's not about gender expression, and it's not about physical dysphoria (because a lot of people consider non-dysphoric people trans as long as they identify with a different gender). So what's left? What's a man/woman? What does it mean to identify as a gender? I have no idea, and that's why I'm flirting a bit with the agender idea. If everyone felt like me, no genders would exist. Do they even exist?
I'm the first one to respect and defend trans people of all kinds. Of course people are allowed to feel different from what I feel, I just personally CANNOT understand what a gender actually is? Does that make me agender??
FYI, I'm asexual and neurodivergent, and I feel it might be relevant...
@@SamirCCat Hey! I feel the exact same way. I am also neurodivergent and I think that probably relates to that feeling, since gender is such an abstract term and at least for my brain, concrete things are much easier to grasp. It’s crazy that you left this comment a few hours ago because at that time I was wondering exactly that: what even IS a man/woman (apart from gender roles and expression)? This is almost like a post-gender approach I think? I might be talking bs, but I think it’s a really interesting discussion.
@@laryssasilva01 What do you mean with post-gender?
I sometimes feel I over-think gender issues, but at the same time I can't even understand the basic thing of what a gender identity actually is. Personally, I've mainly decided to not bother, because the less I think about my own possible gender the less concerned I am. I'm just "me" and everyone around me knows I'm unique in many ways. I feel no need to transition or change anything, so I just live my life the way I want and worry about other stuff instead. I worry way too much about everything :-(
I think everything about the gender is just a way to find a concrete name to who you are, to not feel lost. A place where you can do what you like, not completely free, but you're at least close to something. For some people it's a little bit difficult to accept neutrality or nonexistence, not because they are not, but because it doesn't give them an actual answer to they're confussion.
I have just given up and let people refer to me however they'd like. I present female hard, and I don't have attachment or hate for any of the pronouns. I've legit just been saying I'm a sparkly fart in a meat suit. Because I just ...don't want to be attached to a body anymore. If that makes sense. I'm me. That's all I got. So I'm probably agender, I just can't drive myself crazy with labels and stuff anymore. The less I focus on it, the better I feel. X.x
That sounds like body dysmorphia, not gender dysphoria. I hope you can get therapy and find peace with your physical self.
I recently started identifying as agender. I literally don’t care. Womanhood means nothing to me. I think I feel like a woman in a sociopolitical sense. Like, I know I move through the world as a woman, and when people talk about women, whether I want them to be or not, they’re talk about me. Especially since I move through the world as a woman and am married to a man. Gets even more nuanced because I’m Black. But as for me??? I could care less. Im just a person.
Thanks so much for this! I just recently started questioning my gender for about the tenth time and this video really helped! 💚
thank you for this video! It took me a while to figure out that I'm agender because I never felt a strong dislike of my assigned gender, but rather a disconnect to gender in general (and so for example my nb friends' description of their experience didn't match mine, since they still described experiencing a gender, just not one within the binary). My assigned gender never bothered me because it makes sense to me that people would see me that way, based on how I dress, the length of my hair, my body shape etc. But if people who understand what agender means address me in a gender-neutral way after I tell them that I am agender, that definitely makes me happy. I'm just writing this to reassure others who might not experience dysphoria or a strong dislike of their assigned gender, but still feel drawn to the label agender, or the idea of having no gender, to consider that it might be an option for them.
thank you for explaining it this way! I've just started my gender questioning journey last year, and started asking friends to try they/them for me. While I don't feel discomfort with being called she/her, they/them makes me extremely euphoric. I've also been labeled as a guy in games and I really couldn't bring myself to care. I do present as my assigned gender so it also makes sense for me why people address me the way they do. I appreciate people like you who share their experiences c:
I am no longer questioning my gender (I have come to realize I am FtM trans), but I'm sure you helped and will continue to help a lot of people out by making this video, so here's a comment to boost it! Thank you for doing everything you do and I hope you're settling into your new home 🧡
being gay is a choice
@@OfficerZlock No
@@OfficerZlockno it's not so the same logic would be being straight is a choice?? Ps. It's not you can't PICK your sexuality and who you love. Go take your bigot self and |
@@OfficerZlockno it's not so the same logic would be being straight is a choice?? Ps. It's not you can't PICK your sexuality and who you love. Go take your bigot self and |
@@eepydoll That reaction was so overreacted, all he said was no.... unless its sarcasm?
The timing of this video is amazing as just recently questioning whether I fit under the agender label more. Thank you for the work you put into your videos
Thanks for this! I've been questioning my gender lately, and I always love seeing agender content and getting to learn more.
I'm agender and really don't give any fucks about my pronouns 🤷, not the best indicator I think. What made it obvious for me was that I've never understood the need for why both cis and trans binary identifying people feel they need to present/act a certain way to be seen as a cis woman, or a trans man etc. never made sense to me as to why that stuff was so important
Thanks for another informative video!
*Just a reminder to all the lovely folks out there... It's important to learn what we can about people in "a different part of the rainbow" from ourselves, so we can advocate for each other! That's why I'm here.
Blessings, y'all!
🙏❤🏳🌈🏳⚧
i am not anything specific, i am merely a person who is vibing in the world. call me a man, call me a woman, call me something else, i don’t care. i’ve never been happier
i think I'm agender, born male and always seen as male by others and identified as male, and I care if I am called woman, but I still don't think that I really "feel" male or female, I just am. Why care? I feel uncomfortable with the idea of being called a woman, but also, think to myself: Why feel this uncomfort? Why care? Shouldn't the identity, the ego of being male or female gender, something to be "surpassed" to go "beyond", and simply accept being? Because of these thoughts, I think I may be agender.
The idea of *not* seeing myself as HAVING to fit as a male or call myself a male, I don't know why, but it gives me relief to my body, I feel my body lighter, less heavier, and more in peace in my arms, Idk why. A peaceful non-attachment, idk. While, If I think to myself "I am male, I am a man, I need to be a man", it gives me a sense of being "trapped", my body feels heavier, gives more unconfort than the non-attachment thought.
But I still don't like and feel uncomfortable at the idea of being seen as a woman or being called she/her, much more than being called him, being called him I accept easily. So that doesn't fit on agenderism, I guess.
@@pedroba76 maybe u dont feel feminine nor masculine?
@@Ilovemigata Maybe, I would say it can be kinda like that. But I also kinda "feel" masculine, in the sense that I don't experience gender dysphoria, and don't reject my body, neither my name or male pronouns that people call me.
@@pedroba76 I FEEL THE EXACT SAME
I was born as a girl and I'm okay with she/her ig, but not okay with her/him, but I don't feel like I have a gender at all and hate it when ppl call me a girl, lady, whatever. This is why I'm still questioning whether I'm agender or not
@@Bas1lbaz I understand. Althought I'm not repulsed by being called a man, I don't enjoy the gender stereotypes and the way people talk like "men should do this", "you need to be a real male, "if you are man you can't be virgin, it's a shame", "iffyou are a man you have to be tough and impose respect", and such.
People are individuals connected to a larger whole, biological sex is only a part of it.
I have been experimenting with my gender expression for a while now, and in doing so, I've come to realize, I don't want to be perceived as any gender. I don't want to be shoved into an arbitrary box that I can perform (at least male and enby for sure), but isn't really me on the inside. I think whatever attachment to masculinity I have is due to the fact that I was raised as one, but not because any part of me is male. I am simply me. There's no particular gender attached to that.
Thank you for making this video, Lynn. Also it's good to have you back!
Yeah! It's like the gender you're told is a series of steps you have to develop in order to be what you're supposed to be. And it gets just worst when people tell you female and male roles are important, that they EXIST. It's suffocating, like they're already asking too much from you, and it's still not enough, never, to be what you "are". I mean, why do they care so much? It's confusing.
@@Waysa1710 Mhm mhm yeah. Honestly I don't really get why it matters so much to some people. And why people assign a gender to certain objects and activities. Like, why even bother labeling these things?
Thank you for your videos you were a big help for my to figure out that i'm aroace and agender. Hope you get the 50.000 subscribers soon
Made this video at the perfect time thank you so much😭
WOW! Thank you again for this!
Very informative video! Thank you for the great content you create. I'm still pretty sure I'm genderfluid, but it's nice to be more knowledgeable about what it means to be agender.
I experience myself as brain in meatsuit. I would prefer it but most people are uncomfortable with calling me that. So they/them is fine. Does that count as agender?
I'm guessing it does if you want it to be! That's how I see myself pretty much, too!
thats a depressing way to view yourself
being gay is a choice
@@majesticfool not for me. I felt delighted when i found words to describe how i experience myself and my body.
@@OfficerZlock I can imagine you feel that way as a closeted bi-sexual who "chooses" to only have partners in the heteronormative area. But feelings don't lie. :)
I’m still questioning but to me gender just feels like an act or a game that everyone puts on for no reason. I also resent it when people try to cast me into a stereotype, or tell me what I like and how I am and all that. I don’t care what pronouns people use for me, I prefer to look neutral or androgynous, and I don’t get why everyone cares so much. That’s what makes me think I could be agender. Currently trying out the label.
I am agender!! I use a few other labels as well, but simply put I am agender :)
Very good video btw!
How I feel about gender is kinda like it's a... like a roleplay of sorts. It's not who I really am, but sometimes is fun to play the role! But it's not me, and I do sometimes wish people would see me for ME, not a gender, becuase gender feels like something that is fake... if that makes sense aha. I still use she/her and feminine terms (alongside neopronouns) becuase it doesn't bother me.
I don't really feel any attachment to pronouns at all, besides the way they sound. I use she/her becuase it's familiar to me. I use ey/em becuase they sound cool.
As for the other terms I use- I like to use xenogenders becuase I feel more attached to things, like the color blue for example, waaaayy more than "gender". When presenting myself I think more about things I like- the color blue, cats, stars- more than "is this feminine" or whatever. I'm also lazy + have sensory problems, and normally just wear a cotton tshirt and pants anyways.
This helped me a lot. Thank you 💚
Tack så mycket! Mycket lärorik video!
I definitely feel agender/genderless but I’m still confused on which pronouns fit me. I usually prefer any pronouns but it just results in me being called my birth gender 😭
Regarding pronouns I don't use any, since I'm agender. I prefer just being referred by my name
I recently came out as a Panromantic/asexual a month ago, and the chaos that followed sent me into a termoil. Before that, being someone raised in Christianity, I used a facade that tricked everyone and myself into thinking I was a straight role-model male. When I came out I also left the church, making some relationships break apart and some get stronger. Now that I have fully disassociated from that facade and embraced my sexuality, I'm noticing that taking it off also removed that role-model male deal, leaving nothing in the way for gender. For a month that was fine cause I was more worried about my safety from a particularly toxic "friend", but now that void is hard to mentally deal with. I don't know if I am agender, but that label brings me more comfort than others, and this video helps me recognize that.
damn...the more you talked about agender people the more I was like:...damn..it's me..I feel like that!
this video helps so much thank for making it, it was really great
I think I’ve been Agender all my life lol. Thank you for this information. Subscribed 💙
Not gonna lie… that last one made me think and now idk if I’m genderqueer or agender anymore 😅 I’ve been thinking about being agender instead of genderqueer for a while but I still don’t know. Could you make a genderqueer video and or a genderqueer vs agender video 😁 I’m a new fan and am really in joying all your videos as someone on the aroace spec and questioning my gender identity 😁
Im agender and don’t care what im called. Female or male, he or she, don’t care,
But i will also not identify as they or them, but wouldn’t care if someone called me that either.
But
I think people who go by they or them are more binary than agender.
Agender is more neutral and doesn’t go by anything or any gender identity.
I think another a big one relating to pronouns is an indifference towards which pronouns people use for you.
I feel all of those very much-
Been questioning my gender for some time now, wondering if the label agender might fit and I think it does^^
Guess I really am a triple-A battery now (aroace and agender)
Haha! I’m just wondering - what is the third a?
@@earthmanchen aroace is two things put together: aromantic (aro) and asexual (ace) so those are two^^
Oh, I need it so, thanks
Hi, for those who are questioning their gender identity, one thing that helped me a lot is focusing on who I am, I mean, it's kind of like self love, but in a way you get to know WHO you really are, EVERYTHING that makes part of you, and not what you're supposed to be according to society or others. It's super important to identify if you have changed something about yourself to "fit in", identify WHY did you do it, what did you think you were different about from the rest?.
I mean, this is not just for gender identity, but for sexual orientation too. This helps you find the true you, most of all when society teach you that how you fell is "normal" and it can be "fixed". Feelling different can tell you a lot about who you are.
Not everyone possesses the same level of critical thinking, self-awareness, or emotional regulation. Trauma, confusion, and societal influences can impact individuals' understanding of themselves and their place within the gender spectrum.
some individuals may identify as animals, aliens, or other entities, which can be a manifestation of various factors, including trauma, dissociation, or creative expression. However, even in these identities, gender can still be present, often reflecting the triadic structure of male, female, or androgynous energies.
This highlights the importance of considering the complexities of human experience, including the interplay between biology, environment, culture, and consciousness. The Whole Way framework acknowledges these nuances, recognizing that:
1. Gender is a multifaceted, dynamic spectrum.
2. Individuals' experiences and identities are unique and valid.
3. Trauma, confusion, and societal factors can influence gender understanding.
4. The triadic structure (male, female, androgynous) is a fundamental template in consciousness.
By embracing this comprehensive perspective, we can foster greater empathy, understanding, and support for individuals navigating the complexities of gender and identity.
The last two I could identify with. But I identify more as a demigirl, which is in between agender and woman. So it's nice to learn a little more about anything sort of related.
Could you maybe explain how you came to realize you identify as demigirl? I've been questioning my gender and have been thinking about demigirl recently. Of course if you are comfortable! I'd love to hear more❤
I feel like this seriously helped me in reaffirming my gender identity, but I noticed I also strongly identify with masculinity (to a degree). Normally this wouldn't be confusing if I didn't also just as if not more strongly identify and associate with agenderism. To add on, I am amab so it can be hard to tell if what I experience when I feel euphoria when looking, dressing, and being interacted with in a masculine manner is because of socialization of gender roles or something more outside of gender
Omg I relate to AceDadAdvice's story so much!
Really hope you get to 50,000 you are someone i wonld love to meet you are one of my hero's love your channel
being gay is a choice
@@OfficerZlockno boomer, you don’t choose ur sexual orientation and ur gender identity (:
@@OfficerZlock sexuality is never a choice i suspect you are straight great straight privilege you have iam asexual and aromantic i didn't wake up one day and decide oh i don't think i will bother getting attracted to anyone thinking sexuality is a choice is an expected hetrosexual privilege no sexuality is a choice including hetrosexuality
@@OfficerZlockYOUR BACKGROUND IS THE FUCKING M.A.P.s FLAG!!! GTFO, PERVE!!!!
Y'all, please ignore the person named "NotVille." They have several accounts that they use to go onto the channels of many LGBTQ+ youtubers and spam in the comments section. They send "being gay is a choice" among other things in the replies of every comment on videos of different people. It's best not to give them attention
I identify as agender myself and the end started sounding kinda weird with the "putting personal attributes over gender" being a sign thing...I mean, that's pretty much everybody, isn't it? Am I right? Or am I proving your point? Who knows?
I would say 2 or 3 of these signs almost match me Perfectly. I also want to say about thr Pronouns situation. Sometimes I feel OKAY using she her or he him, but most rather go by neutral pronouns and terms. The 5th one, talking about attributes and how you address yourself, I wish to be addressed as a person rather than gendered term. This whole Gender thing is very confusing to me right now, and this video helped quite a bit. Thank you for posting this. There are some parts of me that think having a Gender is right, but feeling neutral or no Gender most days also feels right. I just don't like being put in a male or female spectrum.
YAAAAAY 😭💛
Your never too old, to explore this topic, myself im a biological male, but I identify simply as A-sexual, I still have a beard. And present as a male,..but in my dreams I present as a female, crazy huh...but ya I'm not gay, or trans, just a feminine soul in a male body, (I also have 2 kids),... but ya I thought maybe I was gay when I was younger cause I thought that was the only option, either strait or gay, basically...but now finally society understands its way more complex and is more excepting and today I am completely comfortable with myself when tho as a teen is was really confused....I dunno, that's my story
Just gonna infodump in no particular order.
Figuring out I was agender took me quite a while. I think it was like... 2 years ago maybe? and I'm almost thirty. (it's never too late to come out people!)
I never really understood gender. and am not dysphoric at all. I prefer presenting male because... well it's just convenient because my body is male. no need to explain stuff unless really necessary. Also, I feel it just looks good on me. including the beard. I do get curious sometimes though. but other than appearance I really don't pay much attention to how I present myself gender wise. (you should see me when I'm reading a really cute romantic novel, giggling and squeeing all over the place lol)
In my younger years I always played with toys for both boys and girls. and I remember always finding it weird that one was for girls and the others for boys. they're both fun to play with, right? why does it matter? but being autistic already made me socially awkward. and the instinctive need to mask meant I'd often hide my interest in stuff not "meant" for boys. Among other things. I thank the stars that my parents actually didn't mind at all. and would only request that I'd ask my sister first before playing with her toys. my masking prevented me from ever asking for my own girl toys though. and I do feel like I missed out. but I never felt judged by my parents or siblings. (I genuinely wish everyone could've had parents as open minded as mine. hearing horror stories from people about their parents breaks my heart)
anyways. for the longest time I had thought that I might be trans, I absolutely love gender bender content. and I thought that meant that I maybe wanted to be a girl. which was confusing as hell. because I felt none of the dysphoria described by others. It was much later that I actually realized I was just fascinated by the concept of gender. I just wanted to look into a world different from my own. here are all these people experiencing something I wasn't. and according to all the stories I read. being a specific gender and feeling like that gender was supposed to be euphoric. I didn't feel that at all. at best. I fantasized how interesting it would be to have a female body. but to me it feels much more like changing clothes than something I need to be happy.
when I finally came out to my parents they weren't really all that surprised. except they assumed my gender-non-conformity stemmed from my autistic pragmatism and logic. which I guess is probably also kind of true? but it doesn't change the fact that I am the way I am. the whole affair was suprisingly anti climactic and "matter-of-fact-ey"
I'm honestly just glad I came out to them when I did. because my mom passed away roughly half a year later from a very sudden and rare form of cancer.
Anyways, that's about as much as I'm willing to say. It always feels weird to talk about myself like this. As if I'm not allowed to look for validation and attention from others.
i just dont feel like any gender nor do i want to be any gender i cant tell if thats agender
Hey, I'm really loving your videos :) Could you do one on maybe being Gender-fae? I think this label fits my gender, but I'm not sure if I'm experiencing gender-fluidity, non-binary identity, or am in denial that I'm a woman... even though just typing that out feels so wrong :/ I'm so confused, and could really do with some help! Edit: Just wanted to add, the closest I've gotten to any sort of idea of my gender identity is that I feel like, at least 50% of the time, I feel like a feminine person much more than I do a woman. I quite often just want to wear baggy, oversized clothes that hide my figure, but sometimes I want to wear big, pink, fluffy dresses (think Sweet Lolita fashion). I also have this weird experience with my breasts, where sometimes I'm okay with them, but other times I feel like I want to "take them off", like another item of clothing. Like sometimes they fit with certain outfits, sometimes they don't, but generally I'm bleh towards them.
What childhood did you have to write this crap? You are a woman for God sake and very pretty..do u know how difficult people like you make the world, what if someone attacks one of ur family members and it goes to court where the person on camera is claiming different in court? Like it's a man but wearing a wig claiming to be a woman? My kids are being home schooled because I want them to grow up normal and not get brainwashed by people like you who thinks they can make up a gender when there's only ever been TWO
thank you!
In my experience, I struggled with gender dysphoria during high school. I despised anything feminine and began to hate my body, unable to separate sex from gender. I then attempted to pass as a man, simply conforming to stereotypes of appearance and behavior. I knew I would never truly be a man, but I wanted to escape femininity.
As I started spending time with men, I found their gender expressions equally distasteful. One day, a schoolmate, aware of my desire to reject femininity, told me that unless I acted a certain way, I wouldn't be considered a man by the group. That's when I realized I didn't need to prove anything to anyone. I rejected all labels, embracing that I am a woman, but I don't need to conform to society's notions of femininity or masculinity.
I'm not saying there aren't positive aspects to gender, like strength or compassion, but I don't see them as inherently tied to gender. To me, gender is just a bunch of rubbish used to pigeonhole people. I'll never understand why appearance and wanting to enclose certain things as one or another carry so much weight, why they feel the need to categorize everyone?
I am who I am, and that's all. I don't need or want to be pigeonholed. I'm perfectly content with my sex, not the gender assigned to me at birth.
I knew that I would never be a man, but I wanted to simply because I despised femininity. Eventually, I realized I didn't need to prove anything to anyone. I rejected all labels, embracing the fact that I am a woman, but I don't need to adhere to society's notions of femininity or masculinity. That's when I understood that I didn't need to conform to society's expectations. I'm not saying there aren't positive aspects to gender, such as strength or compassion, but I don't see them as inherently linked to gender. To me, gender is just a load of garbage used to pigeonhole people. I'll never understand why appearance and expression carry so much weight, why we feel the need to categorize everyone. I am who I am, and that's all. I don't need or want to be pigeonholed. I'm perfectly fine with my sex, not the gender assigned to me at birth.
And I don't mind what people call me, as long as they don't use those new pronouns-I'm not a fan. But otherwise, it's fine. It's common for people on the street to refer to me as 'him' or 'her' interchangeably. Some notice, others don't. I don't bother correcting them. Just a haircut was enough for people to perceive me as a man. It just goes to show how superficial the whole gender issue is. Something as trivial as a haircut leads people to believe I'm one thing or another.
Although maybe having a gender is useful for dating (? I don't know, I'm aro/ace so I don't see any use in that sense either lol.
One question if i pick the color white or black rather than blue or pink ipad because blue is more boyish and pink is more girlish, does this make me agender? Because sometimes i rather pick different colors that are gender fluid rather than blue or pink or any color close to blue or pink such as rose gold or turquoise blue
I'm currently fairly sure I'm a demigirl, though I feel roughly 80% female and 20% agender. This video was really affirming to my agender-ness and reminded me that I'm a valid demigirl
I’ve never had much care about gender, but have been finding my more feminine side lately. I kind of feel like maybe I’m gender-fluid or agender, and I’m trying to figure out if I even care about my pronouns.
This helped because I have been confused about myself and my gender was all over the place so I just slapped it/its on myself and called it a day lol
I thought that I was just uncomfortable with how do I look like, but even when I’d changed that (started looking more feminine that I thought would be better) I was still uncomfortable with it. I can’t really explain how I feel but I just dislike how people judge me based only on my gender (?) so I tried to look neutral unconsciously
So maybe I am agender but I’m not sure yet :)
(Sorry, my English isn’t good)
I've been questioning my gender for over an entire year. I went all over the place, I went from girl to polygender to non-binary to genderfluid, you name it. I stayed non-binary for a while, (maybe 8-10 months) but then I was looking at one of my favorite characters from a show I like and I was like "Hey wait a minute.... they look like the agender flag!" and so I searched it up and funnily enough, I liked the term agender! Right now I'm questioning if I'm agender girl or just agender, but overall I think I finally found my little corner.
I keep thinking about using xe/xem pronouns but then I sometimes feel like i would want xe/she or xe/he until I get frustrated and then just want xe/nothing else and then I realize I just don’t want to be gendered and it’s a cycle I keep going through.
Thank you very much. It was very helpful. And I realize that I’m both non-binary and agender. I always felt disconnected from both gender’s female and male and I do not know what it means for myself of being those two gender of female gender male. So yup I’m Non-binary and Agender
i THINK im agender... but i use Genderfluid cause it seems to fit me more... should i consider agender or folow what im very comfotale with (genderfluid, despite how im usually gender neutral?)
I'm non-binary, thought I might be a gender so that brought me here but basically I'm still scared to ask people I trust to use "it" pronouns w/ me because I've heard so many hetero, cis and even trans individuals saying that pronoun isn't valid so I don't know how to feel since I literally didn't even know that was a problem until I looked up if "it" is even used as a pronoun in the first place because I thought I'd made that up for myself
I relate to some of this. Recently discovered that they/them pronouns feel like a warm comfy hug to my brain. Tho I also relate to your points about demiboy identity too. 🤔
I need some help..
So i genuinely hate wearing dresses.. I mostly always have by the time I was 8-10
I hate.. absolutely hate my boobs. Ergh, I just can’t stand them. Even thinking they are there, i kind of lift up my hand to cover them even if im wearing something baggy (which i usually do, i also hate clothes that show off anything unnecessary)
Another thing would be is that i never wear makeup… could this mean anything? i dont really care about genders but i wish i could just look like neither in a sense.. but also not? idrk
I got only 2 I still don't know I need help
I have an OC that’s agender 💕
I don’t know what I am. I’m terrified.
My sex is female.
I feel more masculine but I don’t want a pee pee. I hate my breasts and I will get them removed as soon as possible. I’m too young to say anything about my face but it’s very neutral and I’m ok with that. My voice is deep for a female assigned person. I’ve always wondered about having a beard and have been obsessed with beards but I know I would not look good in a beard and I can’t imagine myself with one. I don’t really feel weird about pronouns. More along the lines of is someone says she her I don’t want other people to look at me and wonder what I am. I don’t have answers and my therapist is on vacation during this crisis so any help would be appreciated
Il. Learn something Thank you
i feel so confused about my gender. Like i do NOT feel like a female (i was born a female) and i like expressing myself as male. But i do not feel like a man or nonbinary. I kinda just exist? I just know im not a girl and that's all
Same!!
It's like your just there and for me it makes me feel weird because I'm not like the people I see around me
I feel no strong connection with being agender, I just feel no strong connection with any gender and therefore call myself agender.
My experience is mostly being VERY confused why anyone would internalize and maintain the burden that is gender. Like it’s such a restricting identifier, doesn’t seem to serve any positive benefits, and can be the cause of a lot of hardship. Men are under constant threat of their masculinity being called into question, and women are under pressure to meet a lot of impossible standards. Men aren’t allowed to express much emotion, women aren’t allowed to express discontent or to stand up for themselves. My experience is of being a man for a short while, and that was such an uncomfortable time; I’d want to experiment with feminine things, express how I felt to others, compliment my friends, and so forth. While not all men of course want to do allat, there’s a lot of documented research about most men enduring hardships unnecessarily. Masculinity is not made up of component parts, it is made up of an absence of femininity. And femininity is made up of component parts that are hardships within themselves. And neither men nor women are able to fully meet the typically listed off components or lack thereof of either masculinity nor femininity. These categories are not properly definable nor are they separate. To me, they just seem like boxes within which we place various expressions of personality; each box having rules. And everyone is pressured to contort themselves into these boxes. Idk if it’s just my experience, but I simply call myself agender because it seems wild to have some internalized identity with gender, and it was a major stressor in my life trying to contort myself into masculinity. I don’t feel a strong connection with being agender, I feel no strong connection at all with any gender. I gave up on gender and haven’t been happier since.
I think I feel dysphoria around my name. But that may just be that I've been bullied and excluded all my life and feel a lot of shame about my whole identity, not just the gender question.
A gender? no agender! 👉😎👉
I think this might be me but like I’m afraid of not using pronouns.. like I’m fine with they/she and they/them but like when I really think of my gender it just feels empty. Idk if it’s just my really bad mental health but like when I think of gender there is nothing. Like I change my name to Ivy but like everyone just calls me my deadnamed and I’m way to afraid to tell people that I don’t really like my deadname. Why the hell is being 12 so hard like can my gender just gender properly please 😭(by that I mean just make me comfortable with she/her/my assigned gender or have me just understand what I am)
Is it ok if I'm a gender and use she\he\they
Question???
Can you be transmasc , demiboy and agender???
Since google said demiboy is a man who also identifys as an other gender too , in this case agender for me? Like can i be transmasc/agender and demiboy or can i say :
" Im a transmasc demiboy and my other gender is agender "
CAUSE GOOGLE AINT HELPING 😭
As an agender thing I use a bunch of random neopronouns like xe/xyr it/its and void/voidself I like these because they just feel like me
I've recently found myself comfortable with agender and demiboy identities. It's not like I've suddenly woken up one day and made that decision; but that I'm an adult almost in my 30's, and the more introspective I've become about myself, the more I've realized the signs were there all along since my childhood. I appreciate videos like this because it really does help clean up the mess of dysphoria I've been dealing with lately.
i’ve finally found someone with the same story as me.
I am kinda confused, bc what is gendre without stereotipical gender roles?
Gender is someone's sense of self. I, for example, have an internal sense of self that is genderless and featureless, like a Mannequin.
@@ArAsDeCos If your internal sense of self lacks a physical body, it sounds like you have body dysmorphia. The human body is a natural thing that is part of all of us, and most people don't associate with it, they just accept it. I hope you can get therapy and come to accept your body as a normal and welcome part of yourself, because it will be with you for your whole life.
@@DSS712 You misunderstand; my internal sense of self lacks a gendered/sexed body. Hence why having a gendered body causes dysphoria.
Thats exactly how i feel about my gender..and that's horrible
Have you ever heard of the term cassgender? It's pretty much not caring about gender.
I feel a mix of masculine and agender. Is there a word for that?
Heyy, maybe looking into libramasculine could help you? It has been a week so you might not need it anymore, but good luck!!!
Thankyou so much for the wonderful video. Finally I can Identify as a non binary, will you be my TF? Love from India.
heres another tip to find out if your agender
You probably are one of them, if not more
Imposter syndrome brought me here.
Yep I'm agenderfluid 😄
Even though I am Agender ima do this anyway
1-✅
2-middle (50/50) I use all pronouns:p
3-✅
4-✅
5-✅
to my fellow agender people, if someone asks your gender, here are some funny answers besides agender:
no
i don’t think i have one of those
i lost mine :(
what are you a cop?
what’s it to ya?
So, to memorize what Agender is,
it doesn't live up to its name.
I am a gender leans to more female,,my doctor charts say,, she ,,they already marked me already..❤ I don't care anymore I like being a girl 👧I do have hormones my mom gave me by medicine she took..I 5:43 brought my first female top today..😂
Kewl
I decided to watch this video to see if the author totally misrepresented agender by imposing her pro-gender ideology on it. She/they/etc. did not disappoint.
“You might often prioritize personal attributes and characteristics over traditional gender norms or expectations. Caring more about who you are solely as a person and people just perceiving you as a person with no gender attached to it. You may feel more connected to qualities like kindness, creativity, intelligence rather than associating yourself with specific gender related traits”
THIS LITERALLY JUST DESCRIBES BEING A NORMAL PERSON.
People who grew up without gender trauma DISTINGUISH personality and character from gender. I hope one day you realize how toxic it is to make videos like this. PERSONALITY. IS. NOT. GENDER. Say it again.
If you choose to find peace in your life by internalizing your trauma rather than processing it, that is your choice and it is not my place to criticize. Everyone processes trauma at their own pace. However, it IS my place to criticize when you are apparently trying to not only to encourage vulnerable young people to do the same as you, but to MAKE A LIVING by encouraging vulnerable young people to do the same as you.
To any of the vulnerable young people reading this, your identity is NOT based on how people see you, and if you feel that your family/community pressures you to fit into gendered roles, please know that this is THEIR problem, not a reflection of your identity. I can't emphasize this enough. You will never be happy if you define yourself based on arbitrary standards that other people place upon you.
That doesnt exist. 🤡🤡🤡🤡
Five signs you're a confused young female...