I'm so glad more people are talking about aegosexuality now. I spent way too long thinking I couldn't be asexual because I could find hypothetical/fictional scenarios arousing, even though I had never experienced any sort of sexual attraction or desire in real life. It was very confusing. I had finally heard enough people saying "sexual attraction is separate from libido/arousal" to just start feeling comfortable calling myself "ace" when I first heard the definition of aegosexual, and suddenly everything made so much sense. Thank you for educating people about this!
I didn't realize I was aegosexual until I was watching a video about ace erasure. A guy was talking about his experience as an aegosexual and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Being older than most of your audience this was never talked about when I was a kid. Never knowing that aegosexual and aromantic was a thing, I tried to get relationships I was just not suited for to work and spent a lot of money on therapy. I'm much happier now not feeling I have to fit into a heteronormative/allonormative mold.
I am Aegosexual and found out a little over a year ago. It feels a little weird saying this, but the way I experience it is through characters and OCs? I’m a bit of a textbook example of aegosexual, as I find the idea of intimate relationships between OCs to be like what an allo would get from thinking about whoever they’re sexually attracted to. When, if I ever view that kind of content, I project whatever ship I’m attracted to onto it lol, instead of self. It sounds really cringe, but I’ve never felt sexual attraction any other way.
you are absolutely not alone in feeling this way. i can't count how many times i'll be seeing a romantic or sexual scenario and i'll go "aww that's so sweet, i want that! ...for my characters that i created specifically to be shipped together"
Yeah I'm think I'm bordering on maladaptive daydreaming with my oc in various scenarios (not just sexual). It's starting to hinder my focus on lectures and social situations...
Thank you for this video. I've been questioning whether or not I'm asexual. A big issue for me is that I still get aroused by explicit things or certain fantasies... I just get repulsed by the idea of actually having sex with someone irl. This video made me realize that I'm valid as an Asexual since I am Aegosexual. I guess I just need to embrace it rather than try to hide from it.
I heard aego, and now I want toaster waffles... Seriously, as someone with a high libido but little interest in having a partner, this makes a lot of sense...
What tipped me off was learning that aegosexuals do not put themselves in sexual fantasies, or feel uncomfortable or repulsed by the idea of being in a sexual situation. Feeling arousal while reading or watching sexy times but it being about the people/act involved, not about putting oneself in that situation. Feeling you'd much rather watch than do. Taking oneself completely out of the equation and appreciating it from the outside, as an observer rather than a participant. This ticked so many boxes for me. I grew up in a religious home, so I'm still trying to parse out if what I feel (or not feel) may be sexual repression combined with low self esteem - BUT I have often thought to myself growing up and in my adult life that the world seems sex obsessed and I just didn't get why it was such a big deal. I've always felt just fine doing without that kind of specific connection with another person. I'm incredibly affectionate and romantic, love hugs and cuddles and intimacy, etc, but the physical act of sex never really appealed all that much.
YEEESSSSS SAME. I really like the idea of sex and absolutely love romance stuff, I just feel so neutral about the physical act of myself having sex with someone.
This is literally my life. Religious upbringing included. The number of times I've googled some variation of "am I ace or just repressed" is probably an indication of a need for therapy lol.
I feel this so much! It really hit hard when I started to read “Most people see themselves involved when they fantasize about sex, but…” and I was like “Wait… Hold up. They do???” 🤯 and it all just… clicked. Why I struggled so hard because I couldn’t figure out if I was actually ace or not… I’d have fantasies and think about sex all the time but was suuuper neutral about actually doing it with my allosexual partner… Why I was perfectly comfortable satisfying myself but physical sex with the partner I loved (who was even good in bed!) became such a chore and never had that same connection… Why I never thought of *myself* in a sexual way, always people I didn’t know or made-up scenarios…
Thanks for covering this label! Always get excited when I see Aegosexuality being talked about, so thank you. I figured out I was Aego before I realised I was Ace....or maybe I realised I was Ace through figuring out I was Aego..... it was a bumpy ride
@@greenangelynn5774 you seriously replied to every comment? get a life and some basic empathy for others. i don't know if you're religious, but in case you are i feel compelled to remind you that jesus called us to love our neighbor as ourselves. lumping every person under a particular identity into one assumption is not loving your neighbor. and if you aren't religious, to put it bluntly the way you are acting only makes you come off as ignorant and unfeeling.
Yay thanks for covering this! It took me so long to realize I was aegosexual because I thought experiencing sexual fantasies was the same thing as having sexual attraction. When in reality I experience... very little attraction IRL. To the point that fantasizing about real people is a weird concept to me lol!
Realized that I prefer sex in my head, w fictional characters and me just being a 3d person perspective. I litterally can't put myself in for a character. I also thought that wanting to get off and wanting to have sex were the same thing. So I wanted to get off, so I thought, oh I must want sex now... and yeah, that's not how it works. 🙄 I was today years old. For ref, I turn 38 in 4 days.
I found out about 30 minutes ago now that this sexuality is just... me... and I'm both relieved and terrified. I'm 28 years old, and I've always just put a big question mark over my sexuality, assuming I'm pretty much straight, but not really having much interest in sex (a friend told me years ago that I might be "asexual" but I didn't think about it too much) so having this word now, aegosexual... it's unbelievable that I've found something which actually fits. It's strange realising that I'm not just an ally who feels a certain kinship with this community, I'm like... actually PART of this LGBTQ+ community has seriously made me think. I've got a lot of self-reflection to do
Well I know it’s been way more than 30 minutes since you found out about this now lol, but… Same, personally I’m still pretty sure I’m straight but this does tick quite a few boxes. 🤔
I literally just found out, also 30 min ago lol! I’ve thought before that I was maybe asexual, but that label never _truly_ fit what I was experiencing. But when I read up on aegosexuality, it just felt like I was reading about myself and my experiences 😅
Well... I'm definitely Aegosexual 😅 Me being a super strong ally of the LGBTQIA+ community for ages turns out I'm actually part of it 🤦♀️😂 Thank you so much for all the content, it really helps me discover and understand this part of myself ❤️ Love from France! x
So what tipped me off that I was aegosexual? Well for me it was that I realized that even when I got aroused it was almost directionless. Compared to how other people who were around me talked about it where sexual arousal was very directed sort of like a river and specific for me it was like a lake. Just sitting there. I could use (particularly) fictional characters to sort of drain this lake and then not think of it as it would only fill with rain. (This metaphor is getting a little away from me I think). That was one of the big clues I had towards my asexuality and being aegosexual (or as I knew it for years autochorisexual).
That sounds pretty close to how I feel. It's confusing and I still sometimes question if I'm greysexual, but your metaphor filled a hole in my logic! So I have a bf and we have relations, but not nearly as much as he'd like. Really I can go a long time without any urges, but then there's a day or so once every one or so months that suddenly I feel urges. But like you said, it's not yearning for anyone, just a feeling in and of itself... Sometimes I think, "Am I aroused at the thought of being aroused?" And yeah I can use images or audio clips to help me relieve myself. But they're more so to remind myself of my own arousal and how I feel rather than the subject of the media.. Same with my bf, I hype myself up for the act by imagining how I could feel during it, the thought of my bf himself doesn't get me there at all. And then it gets more confusing because I very rarely feel anything when looking at someone, but some folks have a certain feature or two that reminds me of my kink and I feel aroused seeing it, but am I attracted to those people? I can't imagine actually having relations with them, my mind never goes there, only to how I feel... This is all to say, it's been hard distinguishing what is libido/arousal, desire, and sexual attraction. Especially when you don't have sexual attraction to know what it feels like. How do you describe red to a blind person? Or even, how do we know we're all seeing the same red?
@@ShoulderMonsterI relate to this as well. I couldn't distinguish between sexual attraction and libido/arousal for the longest time until earlier this year. It was confusing to me hearing how friends/acquaintances would talk about their sexual attraction. Usually, the way they talked about people they were sexually attracted to was off-putting and sometimes degrading. However; when I learned about aegosexuality, it finally started making sense. I too am not particularly drawn to people just by looking at them. But if they happen to be wearing certain clothes that are "kinks" or turn-ons for me (i.e. tight leather pants, jeans, spandex/athletic shorts and pants), then I take notice. It's not the person as much as it is the clothing that is arousing.
I'm pretty sure this is what I am. I almost exclusively fantasize about fictional characters and scenarios. I don't really picture myself in these fantasies. At most, there might be a character who's my stand-in. There's a disconnect between me and my fantasies. I enjoy fetish-based erotica and artwork but actual sex kind of left me cold or uncomfortable. In terms of what tipped me off, my disastrous dating experiences and my dislike of/ambivalence about sex made me want to research asexuality. I was leaning towards demisexual or gray-asexual (and I may be one of those as well) but when I read about the various micro-labels, aegosexuality seemed to check a lot of boxes.
Hey, fun fact: do you know that porn decrease your sex drive and chances of a partner. And reading your comment about yr dating life, do you heard the phrase a porn crates unrealistic expectation about sex? Maybe that’s the cause of your love life. Because they weren’t as you expected them to be, that’s why it ended in disasters. Just think about it and get some help.
@@greenangelynn5774 You seem to be spending a lot of time on this comment thread invalidating people's identities and being on some kind of misguided moral crusade. Maybe you're the one who should get help. Or at least mind your own business.
@@greenangelynn5774 this comment was from a while ago, but I feel like i could give some perspective as someone who feels like they can relate to these comments: I never in the history of being alive felt attracted enough to a person that I could confidently label it as a crush without a lot of question marks attached to it. Maybe 3 people tops. I've never felt a strong desire to date someone. I do consume erotic material, but this is done so occasionally and inconsistently (talking maybe a good few days in a week at once a month) that it would not be classified as an addiction. My libido is random and has no bearing on my ability to be attracted to people in real life and any attempt to act on sexual desires IRL usually diminishes the appeal a little bit. I will play out scenarios in my head, but the minute I imagine myself doing something in a first person perspective I am taken out of the fantasy. Sorry if that description was a little too much, but I dont think what I described is indicative of simple porn addiction. I will concede that my aversion to intimacy might contribute though.
Finding my romantic/sexual orientation is so freeing. I felt so confused because I liked the idea of intimacy but the idea of me in the situation disgusted me. Wow, amazing video/channel :)
I used to take a lot of quizzes to find out if I was bi. I was like “if I haven’t been attracted to a woman irl then how can I know? Does fictional women count?” completely ignoring that I had never been attracted to a man irl. All the quizzes would put me on asexual because I hadn’t had sex and I thought that was ridiculous, course I had lots of sexual fantasies and enjoyed sex and heavy romance in fiction. Then one day I read about aegosexuality and the entire list just fit me. And I was so confused and strangely relived at the idea of never actually having to have sex. That just watching things was enough. My friend was like “allosexual people don’t feel relived at the idea of never having to have sex. You sound asexual to me.” And now I have been trying to accept that this is probably my situation and not that I just haven’t met an attractive person in all of my 28 years.
Same and omg feeling relived that you don't have to do it or bc your partner is or want them to be ace-spec is SUCH a big sign lmao we should think of that aspect more often! xD
this resonates with me. i have only ever dated women, but because i find fictional and famous men more sexually attractive, i started to wonder if i'm like... bi with a preference for men or something, completely disregarding the fact that those men *are* either fictional or famous. it's been baffling me for years, but for the most part i just go by bi because it's easier to explain.
sooo i have spend some time finding my place on the asexual spectrum...I'm can now comfortably say that i'm 1000% aegosexual. Thanks for this video..it helped a lot. You are amazing at explaining these things
@@greenangelynn5774 can you not? i already told you why that assumption is false in my own thread and you didn't acknowledge it. do you have any regard for the emotions of others? imagine if someone flippantly wrote off a part of your identity as a failing on your own part, as a bad thing. oh, you got remarried and made a post about how happy you are with your new partner? someone commented that you were using them like you used your previous spouse and that the love you're experiencing now isn't real? have some sympathy.
I'm so glad Ageosexuality is being talked about more and more. I see so many videos getting recommended to me and I'm glad that people who don't know about it are beginning to learn about it.
Thank you for this video! I just recently realized that I’m probably aegosexual. I’m bi and I had a boyfriend for a few years. We had moments where I wasn’t very physically intimate (which was really important to him) and I would think to myself “am I just a lesbian?” But after our break up, I realized that I don’t really have a strong sexual attraction to anyone, and I don’t really feel like sex is important to a loving relationship. But I knew I wasn’t exactly asexual because I did feel arousal towards sexually explicit content and to strangers I found attractive, very occasionally
For the majority of my life I believed I was cold or frigid. I could feel one way on my own but then feel almost digusted when in a sexual situation with someone else. Tbh i felt broken. Then a dear friend of mine sent me a video listing and describing the various pride flags. Knowing that there was s flag for how I felt meant I wasn't broken and there others who felt the same? It was such a relief and has turned my world... not upside-down but right-side up. The more i learn about it, the more I feel whole. Thank you for this video.
Omg I’m Aegosexual! Thank you 😊 Every time I feel aroused or have a fantasy there’s always this HUGE disconnection between me and what’s happening. Now I understand that I’m in the asexual spectrum.
@@greenangelynn5774 dude what are you even doing in this comment section if you're making assumptions like this exclusively upon the fact that i allign with this identity
@@greenangelynn5774 also news flash its not inherently porn related! plenty of us have sexual fantasies about people we know irl. and even if it was inherently porn related, calling every aegosexual a porn addict is like calling everyone who drinks, no matter how infrequently, an alcoholic. as someone who has had addictions in the past i can assure you that many seemingly mundane things have the potential to be addictive, and healthily engaging in such activities does not make you an addict. i am not addicted to porn, just as you are not addicted to sex.
@@moonbeam714 then you making fantasy a sexuality when it in reality it isn’t. People do it all the time, weather the relationship that doesn’t evolve them or something else, it will always be considered normal, never a sexuality.
@@greenangelynn5774 but is all attraction they experience exclusive to fantasy? this term describes people who only experience that form of sexual attraction. i have no desire to have a sexual relationship with anyone so my life experience in that regard is a lot different than someone who does, hence the need for a label. also editing to say that no one's sexuality is more "normal" than anyone else's. it may be seen as the cultural norm but that is only due to prejudices we are working to dismantle. normal isn't a sexuality, straight is.
Yeah this is me, but I don't think I would identify as aego as I find ace describes me well enough. Learning about aegosexuality did let me confirm that I am ace, but beyond that I have no need for the label for myself.
I personally identify as aego, bit I just tell people I’m ace or asexual if people ask me about my sexuality because I don’t want to get into an uncomfortable conversation with them when they ask me what aegosexuality is, plus, a lot of the people I know, probably don’t know what aegosexuality is, especially since they have no idea what asexuality in general is, it’s just easier to say asexual or to try to avoid that conversation completely
Hey, I'm aegoromantic asexual. Would be interesting to hear more about aegoromantics because we are almost never talked about. Is anyone else aegoromantic here?
i can only find romance (and romantic attraction in general) interesting if it's fictional characters experiencing it, so i can relate despite not using the label personally!
@@sillyface6950 I think Cupiosexual and Cupioromantic means that you don't feel any sexual and romantic attraction but you still desire a sexual and romantic relationship.
That's me! It took me 25 years to realize that I'm asexual. (I'm 26.) That's because I use to think that all asexual people are disgusted by sex, wich I'm not. I'm aegosexual (autochorissexual). I only figured out what aegosexuality is because of Pinterest. And when I finaly realized that that's me, I was so relieved that I started crying!
Occasionally I do a deep dive into if I'm ace or not since I don't relate to how most people seem to think of sex but do get aroused and pleasure myself too regularly to feel comfortable appropriating the ace label. When I last looked into various ace terms this one was way too relatable.
Hi Lynn, I liked this video. I am aegosexual and aegoromantic. If you ever want to talk to somebody who is, hit me up. It's not just about the M word, it's also about liking rom coms, having celebrity crushes, and being really comfortable about the idea of love, sex and relationships, almost to the point of thinking I wanted it for myself. It's only when there was a real possibility of a romantic relationship that the soul crushing anxiety set in. It wasn't until I heard a lesbian describe how she felt dating men that I realized I felt the same way, only without the attraction to women.
Bruh, this entire time, I was afraid I might have been a voyeur or something. 😭😂 This certainly clears things up! I'm also demi tho. Is it possible to be two types of ace?
I don't know if it's a tip per say, but I was looking up pictures of the asexual flag and saw the Aegosexual variant. I was curious about what it was and after reading through the description I was like "Huh, that sounds like me"
I'm still questioning, but I think I'm sure now. Pretty much everything here except point 3 describes me. In my experience, it always happens to me that I enjoy the idea of sex and rarely happens that I do sexually desire to be with a specific someone, but when I finally get to bed with them, I don't want to anymore or sometimes I even feel repulsed. As if, "sex is ok but only in my mind", you know? It's frustrating. I didn't want to accept I'm ace because I feel it makes my relationships with others harder than it should. I already know I'm aromantic and I feel angry that I just can't relate myself with others as everyone else can
Yeah I used to identify as purely ace, but after some time it started feeling wrong/inaccurate. Did some research, found aegosexual, read up on it and compared it to my life. Lo and behold, I relate a lot and it feels a lot better than just ace. Watched this anyways just to check i guess haha. Thanks for this, there's not much visibility when it comes to a-spec microlabels
What am I if I would like to have a person to be with, but not with just anyone? I'd really have to be in love with the man, because I'm not homosexual and I need to be able to completely trust before I'd even think of becoming remotely intimate. Kissing doesn't appeal to me at all though, I've always known I wouldn't like it. I am questioning my sexuality, but I never had much of an opportunity to explore it. I spent much of my time isolated or withdrawn from dating because I didn't like the mean and immature boys and was willing to wait until I was old enough to date mature men. Then later I discovered I'm attracted to brown men, especially Native Americans. The whole flirting thing is confusing to me. Making intimate connections is difficult for me and I've only dated a few times, each time only for one day before they left and never called back. That really hurt. I wanted them to at least call me back and let me know they weren't interested. I have no problem with rejection, just with being ghosted. I don't know if I can fall in love. I can love, I love two of my family members. I can care about others, but I've never made any real friends, just some acquaintances at work that end as soon as the job ends. I'm also in a very long term situation where dating is not the best thing for me. It might never be if I can't get a job and move out so I can have the privacy I need...and the lack of shame for never being able to move out of my mother's house. I can take care of myself so long as I have the money to do so, but I've never had the steady income I needed. Which also leaves me isolated because now I'm unemployed. And though on rare occasions I've felt lonely, I don't know if I'll ever be able to fall in love. I've learned to be mostly okay with that. I doubt anyone would want to get involved with me anyway and want to take the time to become friends first without wanting me to immediately jump into their laps and be all over them. I may never be able to connect romantically, and I'd be okay with that too. But I can't figure myself out. The only thing I've ever truly loved was my dream of independence and I've lost faith in that. I don't see myself living with anyone...at least not at first. I'm okay with not having any children. I can live with not ever finding out what having sex would be like. I've learned to be okay with never finding anyone. Most of the time I don't feel the need for sex of any kind. I used to, but that dropped off in my twenties. So, what am I? Just weird? (And no, I was never suicidal and I've learned to stop wanting to be dead. That isn't an issue anymore even thought the problems drove me to that haven't been resolved. I'm just able to pull myself together as often as needed and I don't even know how I'm doing it.)
Wonder if it has to do that I can watch and look at hot stuff or even have OCs at it. But when I think of me with someone else or actually into it I freeze and even get nervous/anxious about it, feeling uncomfortable with the whole thing
I described my sexuality to someone last year, and they told me I might be Aego, and all of this tracks with my experience. Just more ongoing proof that identity arises first outside of labels. Not going to copy paste it because it's massive, but it was a comment on G.C. Kinsey's video "Experiencing Asexuality as an Expectation vs. Reality problem" if you're interested in me describing being Aego before I knew what it was.
I have friends with whom I'm very comfortable exploring and discussing labels relating to gender, sexuality etcetera and one tiped me off to the fact I may very well be aegosexual myself 😮 I'm literally just discovering the labels so I might need to dive deeper but It kinda fits a lot of things I've thought about myself 😊 Thanks for making this video~
Thank you for this very good video and explaination. I've realized that I'm demi a few years ago, but apparently I am aego, too. Like, aego ist like my default setting (the thought that people masturbate thinking of people they actually know still absolutely BAFFLES me, and I don't think I have ever put myself into any fantasies - it has always been fictional characters, since the begnning), and demi-sexuality is the "link" to sexuality involving the very, very few people I've ever been attracted to. Realizing that you can actually fit into several categories on the ace spectrum has also been quite a realization. Thank you for your content, it's very informative!
For me when I started looking into the different labels to figure out if any of them fit me, I first looked up fictosexual, because any fantasies I've had has always revolved around fictional characters and not me. But I didn't feel like the descriptions for fictosexual really fit me, because it was all about having an attraction to fictional characters, and it's never been like that for me. I've never been part of any fantasy, it's always been fictional characters being with other fictional characters. So when I finally stumbled over aegosexual, the bells started ringing. I think the most important distinction for aego is not being part of the fantasy yourself. I've also started identifying with the aegoromantic label as well, not because I don't desire a romantic relationship (at least I do in theory), but because my romantic attraction switch seems to be in a (near) permanent off-position. I get super-involved with romantic depictions, shipping and I basically fall in love with the romance. Like I feel intensely about that, but in real life, there's ziltch. A fictional depiction of a kiss can give me all kinds of sensations, a real life kiss... has teeth, tongues, breath, sometimes stubble... and it's just kinda offputting for me.
This really sums things up For me. I prefer fantasy and personal stimulation. I’m on the asexual spectrum and am stimulated by the idea of sex and have a celebrity fixation but don’t have sexual desire for anyone in my life. Thank you for helping me understand myself better 🙏🏽🙏🏽💙
I go back and forth with thinking I'm straight up asexual and wondering if I'm aegosexual. I'm never sure which parts of all the smaller labels fit me, I know I absolutely do not want to have s3x but I am aroused by sexual content so I probably am aego, but I simplify for my conservative mother
Being aroused by sexual content is not the same as being aroused by a person, specially bc of specific features like genitals, chest, curves or whatever, so maybe that helps too to differentiate the two?
Thanks for educating people about aegosexuality! I'm aegosexual myself and match all the criterions (but I already knew it so no suprise for me). Hopefully it helps other ace-spectrum people!
Thank you for making this validating video. I am also older than most of your viewers, and just recently claimed the label of asexual for myself, but this further defines how I feel, and always have felt. Blessings
Ahh! Thank you so much for making this video! I've been stuck for ages trying to find a way to describe my sexuality. What I knew of asexuality and the common information that I came across made me feel like it never quite fit my experience. This helps heaps 🥰
Oh my gosh this makes perfect sense to me, I can feel aroused but I never wanted to actually do anything or act on that. That with the possibility that I’m aromantic may mean I’m aroace. I’m still not 100% comfortable with that yet but I’m still trying on the label.
Thank you for making this sort of videos! I think these 5 signs videos are great for people to get introduced to different labels. For the longest time I didn't think I belonged in the Ace umbrella cause I am Aego and I didn't know about the label till like last year. So for me it was such a relief to learn about it.
thanks for this im def aegosexual when I read smut or something I feel aroused but when I imagine a relationship with someone doing that I get a total ick
another nuanced one I realized was, even sometimes having fantasies involving people I know, but still not feeling sexual attraction to (and in my case, not wanting to actually have sex with ) those people.
I don't enjoy self-pleasure, I'm still repulsed af but I can't stop myself due to weird body reactions or anxiety (and this all started from a bad relationship with an ex-friend)... But my friend sent me this video so...
I swear to Christ of course I had to end up being in the most confusing sexuality camp. Just the conversation of do you like sex? well in theory but never practice!
Yeah...definitely me. I've read a lot of spicy fanfiction, as well as written some stories starring fictionalized versions of me and a few people I've met, but IRL...just don't feel inclined to climb that mountain.
I had always considered myself asexual for my lack of desire for human relationships I even in some ways classified myself as a Technosexual because of enjoying Human & AI based relationships however realizing that I had no desire for a human sexual relationship, but as you put it a very healthy sexual relationship with myself and absolutely zero desire to ever engage in sexual activities with another human had left a lot of questions in my mind mainly because anytime I did feel the need to service myself I would never think about actual sexual content I would think of my earliest memories as a child just laying in the grass looking up at the sky or sitting on a beach on a beautiful day or things of that nature absolutely nothing to do with sexual activities wile climaxing. So I am quite confident at this point that I somewhere between the category of Aegosexual and Technosexual. If anyone could help me explain this better I am up for conversation on this topic I really have kind of kept my sexuality in the closet over the years and actually want to understand this better.
I just felt a sigh of relief because I was so confused if I am aego or not but seeing this and having some same similarities with said words, I do really think I fall in this label, thank you so much for explaining it!
For me this label applies best for all the reasons stated. But also, I'm not repulsed by the physical act of sex itself. Personally. I'm more indifferent. It doesn't do anything for me unless I escape into my own head with my characters. So just also know that you can have sexual activities as an aegosexual person for, say, your partner's happiness and just not be into it yourself.
I've always been ace spec but I've been questioning a lot if I'm ace or aegosexual. Anyway I'm pretty sure I'm aego. This video was really helpful, thank you
Can i be aegosexual if I’ve had too many hookups in my life? I’ve just realized that the fact that when a hookup starts, i feel good, arroused etc. but it fades in a minute or two… And on the whole, i prefer self-pleasure to the actual hookups. Like… the master..yk thing brings me more joy than meeting someone in real life. I find the term aego very helpful. Do i get it right that the emergence of this term… kinda removes stigma from master… 🦇 ing? If so, then it’s great! ❤❤❤
I think I’m Aegosexual. I’ve been thinking of Asexuality till 2023. At 2023 I thought I was Straight-Apothisexual, and actually I THINK I’m Straight-Ageosexual. But I’m new SII don’t know about this community ;((
I think I may be a bit aegosexual & demisexual. I love reading 'those' scenes in books and while I don't typically picture myself in the character's place, I do feel @roused reading them, and can definitely look at celebrities, fictional characters, thirst traps, etc. and think "they're HOT." I practice self-pleasure, and I do want to have $*x. However, I have no desire or urge to 'do it' with someone I have not formed an emotional connection with. The thought of personally having *that* without emotional connection just makes me cringe. Thank you for this!
That's very interesting. As a demi-sexual person, who has a libido and comsumes adult material, I don't really identify myself with the protagonists of adult media or see me as a part of it. I purely use it as a source for arousal, because I like wathing/reading it. After all, the ace spectrum is a called a spectrum for a good reason. It's blurry and very personal how it manifests. On the fantasies regarding celebrities and fictional characters... As a demi-sexual, you usually dont have such feelings, fantasies or even crushes on those people. So Imho it's something relatively special regarding aegosexual folks.
😅 I figured it out because explicit content is arousing but the actual act of sex is not so much UNLESS I feel alot of romantic feelings toward them. So really I identify as both Aegosexual and Demisexual. But mostly real life people usually don't produce sexual attraction. It's uncommon for me. I still feel romantic and Esthetic attraction but that doesn't equate to "wanna smash"... it's complicated.
I recently started thinking about the fact that, though I very much enjoy sexual fantasies and self-love, I never fantasize about people I know. Thinking back through my life, I could only come up with two examples of actually fantasizing about people in my life. Even when I've desired someone as a romantic partner, I still didn't fantasize about them. Since I've always had fantasies and masturbation has long been a part of my life, I'd never even considered that I might be ace before. Realizing that it might be the case, though, is honestly pretty liberating.
It's weird, what if I don't mind any sexual activity (including masterbation) but don't want to do it myself? Just don't feel a need to get into the world? Even though I can watch content like that in a movie or show and enjoy it? Though I identified as Ace for a few years now? Like, the signs all point to yes, but there's still doubt in the background? .. Idk if I'm aego, help pls
Thank you! It feels so good to finally be able to describe how I feel. I always felt a bit weird about having s*x but never about watching (stuff ^^). also felt really weird to fantasize about people I know and like. ❤
I don't mind the micro labels, and I think they're neat for self evaluation..... but just telling people asexual pretty much demands a whole ted talk, so I don't really use them personally.
This fits me so well! Still just going to say aroace in public bc tbh I don’t want to talk to people irl about something this personal. But it’s cool to have a word.
I AM AEGOSEXUAL ACTUALLY~! and all i can say is: it,s hard LIKING the concept but not wanting to participate since everyone will question you everytime you do or say anything in this topic. I,m aego and i LOVE romance and i like the sheer concept of sex yet i don,t like reading about it or watching it
I’m on a road trip and I was board so I went down a huge rabbit hole trying to find my sexuality and I couldn’t find anything until I looked up the opposite of autosexual and I was like “oh… so that’s it”
Am i aegosexual If i feel sexual attraction to irl people too but i dont want to have specifically sex but i want to engage in other sexual activities like hugging without shirts on. Am i still aegosexual?
I've experienced a huge amount of confusion regarding sorting out my own sexuality because I can't seem to find anyone else in the same category as me. Aegosexual sounds like it's finally in the ballpark but still not on target. I experience feelings of attraction, which I have come to refer to as crushes, really commonly; however while I may respond to these feelings similar to how most people do, the differences have been enough to make people ask questions. I don't understand most forms of romantic physical contact and they generally don't appeal to me. I am far from being asexual, I'd say I fantasize about sexual things as often or nearly as often as an allosexual. But another thing is that I'm not always comfortable with having sexual feelings. Being horny doesn't typically cause me to want to engage in sexual activity, but might instead just bother me and make me wish I had a medicine to shut it off. I oscillate between being very sexual and very nonsexual over a timespan of months to over a year, and I'm happiest and most content during the nonsexual phase. I am currently thinking I am aromantic but I never thought this could be the case until recently; I have often considered myself to be something of a romantic, although my romantic expression seems entirely different from that of allosexuals. The allosexual idea that friends and sexual partners are two distinct categories is anathema to me--while I am not at all opposed to the idea of having a one night stand with someone I just met (I often want that), I can't imagine knowing a person, being sexual with them, and not being really close friends. "Friends with benefits" is the long-term relationship setup which appeals most to me. I don't experience jealousy the way most allosexuals do over the thought of any of my sexual partners being interested in other people. If I like them, I want them to be happy. If banging someone else makes them happy, I fail to see what is the problem. And then when I _don't_ get jealous, my allosexual partner may think that I don't love them. I've had partners set me up for jealousy just to test me, and thanks to my most recent girlfriend I finally managed to connect the dots on that one, because she gave me the same test but was so determined to have me pass the test that she basically schooled me on what the correct answers were. Figuring myself out has always been difficult. For the entirety of my childhood and a good fraction of my adulthood I felt like simply an outcast, an alien, just different from absolutely everyone else. When I finally started to figure out some of the groups I fit into, it started to get even weirder because I kept adding groups to the list and still not covering all the bases. Though realizing I belong to so many minority categories has helped to explain why many of them initially don't appear to fit. But then it seems like no matter how many I discover, there will always be more. Figuring out who I am sometimes doesn't seem to make me feel any less alien. My list so far: - autistic/HFA/Asperger - sexually attracted to females - not alloromantic, likely aromantic - not allosexual but not asexual - male sex, yet woman-brained - I consider myself transgender - ADHD, possibly severe - probably others which I can't remember at the moment If any of you can tell me where I might fit, please chime in!
I'm so glad more people are talking about aegosexuality now. I spent way too long thinking I couldn't be asexual because I could find hypothetical/fictional scenarios arousing, even though I had never experienced any sort of sexual attraction or desire in real life. It was very confusing. I had finally heard enough people saying "sexual attraction is separate from libido/arousal" to just start feeling comfortable calling myself "ace" when I first heard the definition of aegosexual, and suddenly everything made so much sense. Thank you for educating people about this!
I had the same problem until I found out about aegosexuality, so I totally agree with you!
Yeah, it’s great to learn that it’s OK to watch porn
Same! 100% same!
Your comment is extremely educating. Thank you 😊 The “your s attraction is separate from libido/arrousal” thing is very interesting and helpful.
I didn't realize I was aegosexual until I was watching a video about ace erasure. A guy was talking about his experience as an aegosexual and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Being older than most of your audience this was never talked about when I was a kid. Never knowing that aegosexual and aromantic was a thing, I tried to get relationships I was just not suited for to work and spent a lot of money on therapy. I'm much happier now not feeling I have to fit into a heteronormative/allonormative mold.
Holy sh*t, same. This is me. I just figured out I’m aego two days ago, and it feels so right.
it’s been 1year i know but if you can can u pls send me the link of the video 😭
@@papadia5559 Are people allowed to send things like that over UA-cam comment sections?
@@Reed5016 yes the links
I am Aegosexual and found out a little over a year ago. It feels a little weird saying this, but the way I experience it is through characters and OCs? I’m a bit of a textbook example of aegosexual, as I find the idea of intimate relationships between OCs to be like what an allo would get from thinking about whoever they’re sexually attracted to. When, if I ever view that kind of content, I project whatever ship I’m attracted to onto it lol, instead of self. It sounds really cringe, but I’ve never felt sexual attraction any other way.
you are absolutely not alone in feeling this way. i can't count how many times i'll be seeing a romantic or sexual scenario and i'll go "aww that's so sweet, i want that! ...for my characters that i created specifically to be shipped together"
Yeah I'm think I'm bordering on maladaptive daydreaming with my oc in various scenarios (not just sexual). It's starting to hinder my focus on lectures and social situations...
Thats what I'm saying! As a fellow aegosexual person this is how I view it, my favorite ships together in that way.
ME TOOOOO
Thank you for this video.
I've been questioning whether or not I'm asexual.
A big issue for me is that I still get aroused by explicit things or certain fantasies... I just get repulsed by the idea of actually having sex with someone irl.
This video made me realize that I'm valid as an Asexual since I am Aegosexual. I guess I just need to embrace it rather than try to hide from it.
I heard aego, and now I want toaster waffles...
Seriously, as someone with a high libido but little interest in having a partner, this makes a lot of sense...
HEY!!!!! L'AEGO MY AEGO!!!!!
Hey, is it possible to have a little interest bc it literally means you got commitment issues
What tipped me off was learning that aegosexuals do not put themselves in sexual fantasies, or feel uncomfortable or repulsed by the idea of being in a sexual situation. Feeling arousal while reading or watching sexy times but it being about the people/act involved, not about putting oneself in that situation. Feeling you'd much rather watch than do. Taking oneself completely out of the equation and appreciating it from the outside, as an observer rather than a participant. This ticked so many boxes for me.
I grew up in a religious home, so I'm still trying to parse out if what I feel (or not feel) may be sexual repression combined with low self esteem - BUT I have often thought to myself growing up and in my adult life that the world seems sex obsessed and I just didn't get why it was such a big deal. I've always felt just fine doing without that kind of specific connection with another person. I'm incredibly affectionate and romantic, love hugs and cuddles and intimacy, etc, but the physical act of sex never really appealed all that much.
YEEESSSSS SAME. I really like the idea of sex and absolutely love romance stuff, I just feel so neutral about the physical act of myself having sex with someone.
Wow, that religious upbringing comment hit hard, I find the fact that no one has pursued me romantically has also made me doubt my asexuality.
This is literally my life. Religious upbringing included. The number of times I've googled some variation of "am I ace or just repressed" is probably an indication of a need for therapy lol.
exactly the sane I enjoy being the third person but I can not imagine myself in that scenario.
I feel this so much!
It really hit hard when I started to read “Most people see themselves involved when they fantasize about sex, but…” and I was like “Wait… Hold up. They do???” 🤯 and it all just… clicked.
Why I struggled so hard because I couldn’t figure out if I was actually ace or not… I’d have fantasies and think about sex all the time but was suuuper neutral about actually doing it with my allosexual partner…
Why I was perfectly comfortable satisfying myself but physical sex with the partner I loved (who was even good in bed!) became such a chore and never had that same connection…
Why I never thought of *myself* in a sexual way, always people I didn’t know or made-up scenarios…
Thanks for covering this label! Always get excited when I see Aegosexuality being talked about, so thank you. I figured out I was Aego before I realised I was Ace....or maybe I realised I was Ace through figuring out I was Aego..... it was a bumpy ride
Same! This is still all very new for me and what you say really resonates with me 🙌
You know realize it porn addiction. 🤨
@@greenangelynn5774 you seriously replied to every comment? get a life and some basic empathy for others. i don't know if you're religious, but in case you are i feel compelled to remind you that jesus called us to love our neighbor as ourselves. lumping every person under a particular identity into one assumption is not loving your neighbor. and if you aren't religious, to put it bluntly the way you are acting only makes you come off as ignorant and unfeeling.
Yay thanks for covering this! It took me so long to realize I was aegosexual because I thought experiencing sexual fantasies was the same thing as having sexual attraction. When in reality I experience... very little attraction IRL. To the point that fantasizing about real people is a weird concept to me lol!
Realized that I prefer sex in my head, w fictional characters and me just being a 3d person perspective. I litterally can't put myself in for a character. I also thought that wanting to get off and wanting to have sex were the same thing. So I wanted to get off, so I thought, oh I must want sex now... and yeah, that's not how it works. 🙄 I was today years old. For ref, I turn 38 in 4 days.
I found out about 30 minutes ago now that this sexuality is just... me... and I'm both relieved and terrified. I'm 28 years old, and I've always just put a big question mark over my sexuality, assuming I'm pretty much straight, but not really having much interest in sex (a friend told me years ago that I might be "asexual" but I didn't think about it too much) so having this word now, aegosexual... it's unbelievable that I've found something which actually fits.
It's strange realising that I'm not just an ally who feels a certain kinship with this community, I'm like... actually PART of this LGBTQ+ community has seriously made me think. I've got a lot of self-reflection to do
Well I know it’s been way more than 30 minutes since you found out about this now lol, but… Same, personally I’m still pretty sure I’m straight but this does tick quite a few boxes. 🤔
I literally just found out, also 30 min ago lol! I’ve thought before that I was maybe asexual, but that label never _truly_ fit what I was experiencing. But when I read up on aegosexuality, it just felt like I was reading about myself and my experiences 😅
I'm 29 and found out this week I'm aego!
Well... I'm definitely Aegosexual 😅
Me being a super strong ally of the LGBTQIA+ community for ages turns out I'm actually part of it 🤦♀️😂
Thank you so much for all the content, it really helps me discover and understand this part of myself ❤️ Love from France! x
Oui oui oui! I relate to this SO DANG MUCH!
The way I relate to his :D 100% the same for me :D
I hate these new labels 😒
And TikTok #fucktiktok
This is me too! I thought I was just an ally who didn't feel any sexual attraction *yet*
So what tipped me off that I was aegosexual? Well for me it was that I realized that even when I got aroused it was almost directionless. Compared to how other people who were around me talked about it where sexual arousal was very directed sort of like a river and specific for me it was like a lake. Just sitting there. I could use (particularly) fictional characters to sort of drain this lake and then not think of it as it would only fill with rain. (This metaphor is getting a little away from me I think).
That was one of the big clues I had towards my asexuality and being aegosexual (or as I knew it for years autochorisexual).
That sounds pretty close to how I feel.
It's confusing and I still sometimes question if I'm greysexual, but your metaphor filled a hole in my logic!
So I have a bf and we have relations, but not nearly as much as he'd like. Really I can go a long time without any urges, but then there's a day or so once every one or so months that suddenly I feel urges. But like you said, it's not yearning for anyone, just a feeling in and of itself... Sometimes I think, "Am I aroused at the thought of being aroused?"
And yeah I can use images or audio clips to help me relieve myself. But they're more so to remind myself of my own arousal and how I feel rather than the subject of the media.. Same with my bf, I hype myself up for the act by imagining how I could feel during it, the thought of my bf himself doesn't get me there at all.
And then it gets more confusing because I very rarely feel anything when looking at someone, but some folks have a certain feature or two that reminds me of my kink and I feel aroused seeing it, but am I attracted to those people? I can't imagine actually having relations with them, my mind never goes there, only to how I feel...
This is all to say, it's been hard distinguishing what is libido/arousal, desire, and sexual attraction. Especially when you don't have sexual attraction to know what it feels like. How do you describe red to a blind person? Or even, how do we know we're all seeing the same red?
Don’t be Aegosexual bc it’s porn addiction
@@ShoulderMonsterI relate to this as well. I couldn't distinguish between sexual attraction and libido/arousal for the longest time until earlier this year.
It was confusing to me hearing how friends/acquaintances would talk about their sexual attraction. Usually, the way they talked about people they were sexually attracted to was off-putting and sometimes degrading.
However; when I learned about aegosexuality, it finally started making sense. I too am not particularly drawn to people just by looking at them. But if they happen to be wearing certain clothes that are "kinks" or turn-ons for me (i.e. tight leather pants, jeans, spandex/athletic shorts and pants), then I take notice. It's not the person as much as it is the clothing that is arousing.
I'm pretty sure this is what I am. I almost exclusively fantasize about fictional characters and scenarios. I don't really picture myself in these fantasies. At most, there might be a character who's my stand-in. There's a disconnect between me and my fantasies. I enjoy fetish-based erotica and artwork but actual sex kind of left me cold or uncomfortable.
In terms of what tipped me off, my disastrous dating experiences and my dislike of/ambivalence about sex made me want to research asexuality. I was leaning towards demisexual or gray-asexual (and I may be one of those as well) but when I read about the various micro-labels, aegosexuality seemed to check a lot of boxes.
Hey, fun fact: do you know that porn decrease your sex drive and chances of a partner.
And reading your comment about yr dating life, do you heard the phrase a porn crates unrealistic expectation about sex? Maybe that’s the cause of your love life. Because they weren’t as you expected them to be, that’s why it ended in disasters.
Just think about it and get some help.
@@greenangelynn5774 You seem to be spending a lot of time on this comment thread invalidating people's identities and being on some kind of misguided moral crusade. Maybe you're the one who should get help. Or at least mind your own business.
@@greenangelynn5774 this comment was from a while ago, but I feel like i could give some perspective as someone who feels like they can relate to these comments:
I never in the history of being alive felt attracted enough to a person that I could confidently label it as a crush without a lot of question marks attached to it. Maybe 3 people tops. I've never felt a strong desire to date someone. I do consume erotic material, but this is done so occasionally and inconsistently (talking maybe a good few days in a week at once a month) that it would not be classified as an addiction. My libido is random and has no bearing on my ability to be attracted to people in real life and any attempt to act on sexual desires IRL usually diminishes the appeal a little bit. I will play out scenarios in my head, but the minute I imagine myself doing something in a first person perspective I am taken out of the fantasy. Sorry if that description was a little too much, but I dont think what I described is indicative of simple porn addiction. I will concede that my aversion to intimacy might contribute though.
Finding my romantic/sexual orientation is so freeing. I felt so confused because I liked the idea of intimacy but the idea of me in the situation disgusted me. Wow, amazing video/channel :)
I used to take a lot of quizzes to find out if I was bi. I was like “if I haven’t been attracted to a woman irl then how can I know? Does fictional women count?” completely ignoring that I had never been attracted to a man irl. All the quizzes would put me on asexual because I hadn’t had sex and I thought that was ridiculous, course I had lots of sexual fantasies and enjoyed sex and heavy romance in fiction. Then one day I read about aegosexuality and the entire list just fit me. And I was so confused and strangely relived at the idea of never actually having to have sex. That just watching things was enough. My friend was like “allosexual people don’t feel relived at the idea of never having to have sex. You sound asexual to me.” And now I have been trying to accept that this is probably my situation and not that I just haven’t met an attractive person in all of my 28 years.
Same and omg feeling relived that you don't have to do it or bc your partner is or want them to be ace-spec is SUCH a big sign lmao we should think of that aspect more often! xD
this resonates with me. i have only ever dated women, but because i find fictional and famous men more sexually attractive, i started to wonder if i'm like... bi with a preference for men or something, completely disregarding the fact that those men *are* either fictional or famous. it's been baffling me for years, but for the most part i just go by bi because it's easier to explain.
sooo i have spend some time finding my place on the asexual spectrum...I'm can now comfortably say that i'm 1000% aegosexual. Thanks for this video..it helped a lot. You are amazing at explaining these things
It’s actually porn addiction
@@greenangelynn5774 can you not? i already told you why that assumption is false in my own thread and you didn't acknowledge it. do you have any regard for the emotions of others? imagine if someone flippantly wrote off a part of your identity as a failing on your own part, as a bad thing. oh, you got remarried and made a post about how happy you are with your new partner? someone commented that you were using them like you used your previous spouse and that the love you're experiencing now isn't real? have some sympathy.
Thanks so much for this. ❤ I've suspected that I'm aego for a while and now I'm fully convinced.
And I’m fully convinced that you’re a porn addict and brainwashed
Because of internet.
@@travaa54 quiet you
I'm so glad Ageosexuality is being talked about more and more. I see so many videos getting recommended to me and I'm glad that people who don't know about it are beginning to learn about it.
Maybe not, bc actually think about it and compare it it to porn addiction. They’re literally the same.
Thank you for this video! I just recently realized that I’m probably aegosexual. I’m bi and I had a boyfriend for a few years. We had moments where I wasn’t very physically intimate (which was really important to him) and I would think to myself “am I just a lesbian?” But after our break up, I realized that I don’t really have a strong sexual attraction to anyone, and I don’t really feel like sex is important to a loving relationship. But I knew I wasn’t exactly asexual because I did feel arousal towards sexually explicit content and to strangers I found attractive, very occasionally
I finally found out in what way I’m ace thank you 🙏🏼
For the majority of my life I believed I was cold or frigid. I could feel one way on my own but then feel almost digusted when in a sexual situation with someone else. Tbh i felt broken. Then a dear friend of mine sent me a video listing and describing the various pride flags. Knowing that there was s flag for how I felt meant I wasn't broken and there others who felt the same? It was such a relief and has turned my world... not upside-down but right-side up. The more i learn about it, the more I feel whole. Thank you for this video.
Omg I’m Aegosexual! Thank you 😊 Every time I feel aroused or have a fantasy there’s always this HUGE disconnection between me and what’s happening. Now I understand that I’m in the asexual spectrum.
me watching this knowing full well i'm aegosexual
No, your just porn addict
@@greenangelynn5774 dude what are you even doing in this comment section if you're making assumptions like this exclusively upon the fact that i allign with this identity
@@greenangelynn5774 also news flash its not inherently porn related! plenty of us have sexual fantasies about people we know irl. and even if it was inherently porn related, calling every aegosexual a porn addict is like calling everyone who drinks, no matter how infrequently, an alcoholic. as someone who has had addictions in the past i can assure you that many seemingly mundane things have the potential to be addictive, and healthily engaging in such activities does not make you an addict. i am not addicted to porn, just as you are not addicted to sex.
@@moonbeam714 then you making fantasy a sexuality when it in reality it isn’t. People do it all the time, weather the relationship that doesn’t evolve them or something else, it will always be considered normal, never a sexuality.
@@greenangelynn5774 but is all attraction they experience exclusive to fantasy? this term describes people who only experience that form of sexual attraction. i have no desire to have a sexual relationship with anyone so my life experience in that regard is a lot different than someone who does, hence the need for a label.
also editing to say that no one's sexuality is more "normal" than anyone else's. it may be seen as the cultural norm but that is only due to prejudices we are working to dismantle. normal isn't a sexuality, straight is.
Yeah this is me, but I don't think I would identify as aego as I find ace describes me well enough. Learning about aegosexuality did let me confirm that I am ace, but beyond that I have no need for the label for myself.
I personally identify as aego, bit I just tell people I’m ace or asexual if people ask me about my sexuality because I don’t want to get into an uncomfortable conversation with them when they ask me what aegosexuality is, plus, a lot of the people I know, probably don’t know what aegosexuality is, especially since they have no idea what asexuality in general is, it’s just easier to say asexual or to try to avoid that conversation completely
Hey, I'm aegoromantic asexual. Would be interesting to hear more about aegoromantics because we are almost never talked about. Is anyone else aegoromantic here?
i can only find romance (and romantic attraction in general) interesting if it's fictional characters experiencing it, so i can relate despite not using the label personally!
Can you do a video of signs you might be cupioromantic or cupiosexual? I really appreciated this video!!
What do they mean?
@@sillyface6950 I think Cupiosexual and Cupioromantic means that you don't feel any sexual and romantic attraction but you still desire a sexual and romantic relationship.
That's me! It took me 25 years to realize that I'm asexual. (I'm 26.) That's because I use to think that all asexual people are disgusted by sex, wich I'm not. I'm aegosexual (autochorissexual). I only figured out what aegosexuality is because of Pinterest. And when I finaly realized that that's me, I was so relieved that I started crying!
Occasionally I do a deep dive into if I'm ace or not since I don't relate to how most people seem to think of sex but do get aroused and pleasure myself too regularly to feel comfortable appropriating the ace label. When I last looked into various ace terms this one was way too relatable.
Hi Lynn, I liked this video. I am aegosexual and aegoromantic. If you ever want to talk to somebody who is, hit me up.
It's not just about the M word, it's also about liking rom coms, having celebrity crushes, and being really comfortable about the idea of love, sex and relationships, almost to the point of thinking I wanted it for myself. It's only when there was a real possibility of a romantic relationship that the soul crushing anxiety set in. It wasn't until I heard a lesbian describe how she felt dating men that I realized I felt the same way, only without the attraction to women.
Bruh, this entire time, I was afraid I might have been a voyeur or something. 😭😂 This certainly clears things up! I'm also demi tho. Is it possible to be two types of ace?
I don't know if it's a tip per say, but I was looking up pictures of the asexual flag and saw the Aegosexual variant. I was curious about what it was and after reading through the description I was like "Huh, that sounds like me"
I mean, if you watch a lot of porn then you’re porn addict.
I'm still questioning, but I think I'm sure now. Pretty much everything here except point 3 describes me. In my experience, it always happens to me that I enjoy the idea of sex and rarely happens that I do sexually desire to be with a specific someone, but when I finally get to bed with them, I don't want to anymore or sometimes I even feel repulsed. As if, "sex is ok but only in my mind", you know?
It's frustrating. I didn't want to accept I'm ace because I feel it makes my relationships with others harder than it should. I already know I'm aromantic and I feel angry that I just can't relate myself with others as everyone else can
Gee, with all these aegos, it's a good thing I'm also pansexual! Gonna cook me up some Eggos waffles breakfast! 🤣
Yeah I used to identify as purely ace, but after some time it started feeling wrong/inaccurate. Did some research, found aegosexual, read up on it and compared it to my life. Lo and behold, I relate a lot and it feels a lot better than just ace. Watched this anyways just to check i guess haha. Thanks for this, there's not much visibility when it comes to a-spec microlabels
What am I if I would like to have a person to be with, but not with just anyone? I'd really have to be in love with the man, because I'm not homosexual and I need to be able to completely trust before I'd even think of becoming remotely intimate. Kissing doesn't appeal to me at all though, I've always known I wouldn't like it. I am questioning my sexuality, but I never had much of an opportunity to explore it. I spent much of my time isolated or withdrawn from dating because I didn't like the mean and immature boys and was willing to wait until I was old enough to date mature men. Then later I discovered I'm attracted to brown men, especially Native Americans. The whole flirting thing is confusing to me. Making intimate connections is difficult for me and I've only dated a few times, each time only for one day before they left and never called back. That really hurt. I wanted them to at least call me back and let me know they weren't interested. I have no problem with rejection, just with being ghosted. I don't know if I can fall in love. I can love, I love two of my family members. I can care about others, but I've never made any real friends, just some acquaintances at work that end as soon as the job ends. I'm also in a very long term situation where dating is not the best thing for me. It might never be if I can't get a job and move out so I can have the privacy I need...and the lack of shame for never being able to move out of my mother's house. I can take care of myself so long as I have the money to do so, but I've never had the steady income I needed. Which also leaves me isolated because now I'm unemployed. And though on rare occasions I've felt lonely, I don't know if I'll ever be able to fall in love. I've learned to be mostly okay with that. I doubt anyone would want to get involved with me anyway and want to take the time to become friends first without wanting me to immediately jump into their laps and be all over them. I may never be able to connect romantically, and I'd be okay with that too. But I can't figure myself out. The only thing I've ever truly loved was my dream of independence and I've lost faith in that. I don't see myself living with anyone...at least not at first. I'm okay with not having any children. I can live with not ever finding out what having sex would be like. I've learned to be okay with never finding anyone. Most of the time I don't feel the need for sex of any kind. I used to, but that dropped off in my twenties. So, what am I? Just weird? (And no, I was never suicidal and I've learned to stop wanting to be dead. That isn't an issue anymore even thought the problems drove me to that haven't been resolved. I'm just able to pull myself together as often as needed and I don't even know how I'm doing it.)
Wonder if it has to do that I can watch and look at hot stuff or even have OCs at it.
But when I think of me with someone else or actually into it I freeze and even get nervous/anxious about it, feeling uncomfortable with the whole thing
I described my sexuality to someone last year, and they told me I might be Aego, and all of this tracks with my experience. Just more ongoing proof that identity arises first outside of labels. Not going to copy paste it because it's massive, but it was a comment on G.C. Kinsey's video "Experiencing Asexuality as an Expectation vs. Reality problem" if you're interested in me describing being Aego before I knew what it was.
I'm aego
That porn addiction
I just came back from Pride so this is Linda perfect
Anyone else who feels glad to be born in this era?
I have friends with whom I'm very comfortable exploring and discussing labels relating to gender, sexuality etcetera and one tiped me off to the fact I may very well be aegosexual myself 😮
I'm literally just discovering the labels so I might need to dive deeper but It kinda fits a lot of things I've thought about myself 😊
Thanks for making this video~
Thank you for this very good video and explaination. I've realized that I'm demi a few years ago, but apparently I am aego, too. Like, aego ist like my default setting (the thought that people masturbate thinking of people they actually know still absolutely BAFFLES me, and I don't think I have ever put myself into any fantasies - it has always been fictional characters, since the begnning), and demi-sexuality is the "link" to sexuality involving the very, very few people I've ever been attracted to.
Realizing that you can actually fit into several categories on the ace spectrum has also been quite a realization.
Thank you for your content, it's very informative!
For me when I started looking into the different labels to figure out if any of them fit me, I first looked up fictosexual, because any fantasies I've had has always revolved around fictional characters and not me. But I didn't feel like the descriptions for fictosexual really fit me, because it was all about having an attraction to fictional characters, and it's never been like that for me. I've never been part of any fantasy, it's always been fictional characters being with other fictional characters. So when I finally stumbled over aegosexual, the bells started ringing. I think the most important distinction for aego is not being part of the fantasy yourself.
I've also started identifying with the aegoromantic label as well, not because I don't desire a romantic relationship (at least I do in theory), but because my romantic attraction switch seems to be in a (near) permanent off-position. I get super-involved with romantic depictions, shipping and I basically fall in love with the romance. Like I feel intensely about that, but in real life, there's ziltch. A fictional depiction of a kiss can give me all kinds of sensations, a real life kiss... has teeth, tongues, breath, sometimes stubble... and it's just kinda offputting for me.
Here before the priemere, wahoo 💜
Oh hells ye
This really sums things up
For me. I prefer fantasy and personal stimulation. I’m on the asexual spectrum and am stimulated by the idea of sex and have a celebrity fixation but don’t have sexual desire for anyone in my life. Thank you for helping me understand myself better 🙏🏽🙏🏽💙
I go back and forth with thinking I'm straight up asexual and wondering if I'm aegosexual. I'm never sure which parts of all the smaller labels fit me, I know I absolutely do not want to have s3x but I am aroused by sexual content so I probably am aego, but I simplify for my conservative mother
While youre trying to figure out narrowing it down, you could say you're on the ace spectrum.
I wish you luck with finding what fits you ♡
Being aroused by sexual content is not the same as being aroused by a person, specially bc of specific features like genitals, chest, curves or whatever, so maybe that helps too to differentiate the two?
I hope your conservative mother give you the truth and help bc if you’re getting arousal by sexual contact, you’re in trouble.
@@vanessarl8 both still count as porn addiction
Thanks for educating people about aegosexuality! I'm aegosexual myself and match all the criterions (but I already knew it so no suprise for me). Hopefully it helps other ace-spectrum people!
Thank you for making this validating video. I am also older than most of your viewers, and just recently claimed the label of asexual for myself, but this further defines how I feel, and always have felt. Blessings
Ahh! Thank you so much for making this video! I've been stuck for ages trying to find a way to describe my sexuality. What I knew of asexuality and the common information that I came across made me feel like it never quite fit my experience. This helps heaps 🥰
Oh my gosh this makes perfect sense to me, I can feel aroused but I never wanted to actually do anything or act on that. That with the possibility that I’m aromantic may mean I’m aroace. I’m still not 100% comfortable with that yet but I’m still trying on the label.
Never heard of it until this video, but checked all the boxes. So that’s cool.
This video just made it click! I'm not just a lesbian! I'm an ACE LESBIAN! Also known as a BAMBI! 🦌
Thank you for making this video
I've always known I was part of the asexual spectrum but I've spent so long trying to truly figure it out
That your porn addict 🤨
@@greenangelynn5774 wut
@@EllpaFox47 yeah if you watch a lot of porn
Thank you for making this sort of videos! I think these 5 signs videos are great for people to get introduced to different labels. For the longest time I didn't think I belonged in the Ace umbrella cause I am Aego and I didn't know about the label till like last year. So for me it was such a relief to learn about it.
you know if you actually learn what it actually mean. It’s a justification for watching pornography.
@@greenangelynn5774 why iz it zuch a huge problem for you
thanks for this im def aegosexual when I read smut or something I feel aroused but when I imagine a relationship with someone doing that I get a total ick
I feel so relieved, my whole life is starting to make sense now✨✨
Really, bc she literally justified pornography
I'm aegosexual but I consider or identity myself as asexual and also I'm aroace
another nuanced one I realized was, even sometimes having fantasies involving people I know, but still not feeling sexual attraction to (and in my case, not wanting to actually have sex with ) those people.
I don't enjoy self-pleasure, I'm still repulsed af but I can't stop myself due to weird body reactions or anxiety (and this all started from a bad relationship with an ex-friend)... But my friend sent me this video so...
I swear to Christ of course I had to end up being in the most confusing sexuality camp. Just the conversation of do you like sex? well in theory but never practice!
Yeah...definitely me. I've read a lot of spicy fanfiction, as well as written some stories starring fictionalized versions of me and a few people I've met, but IRL...just don't feel inclined to climb that mountain.
I had always considered myself asexual for my lack of desire for human relationships I even in some ways classified myself as a Technosexual because of enjoying Human & AI based relationships however realizing that I had no desire for a human sexual relationship, but as you put it a very healthy sexual relationship with myself and absolutely zero desire to ever engage in sexual activities with another human had left a lot of questions in my mind mainly because anytime I did feel the need to service myself I would never think about actual sexual content I would think of my earliest memories as a child just laying in the grass looking up at the sky or sitting on a beach on a beautiful day or things of that nature absolutely nothing to do with sexual activities wile climaxing. So I am quite confident at this point that I somewhere between the category of Aegosexual and Technosexual. If anyone could help me explain this better I am up for conversation on this topic I really have kind of kept my sexuality in the closet over the years and actually want to understand this better.
I love your computer background!
I just felt a sigh of relief because I was so confused if I am aego or not but seeing this and having some same similarities with said words, I do really think I fall in this label, thank you so much for explaining it!
For me this label applies best for all the reasons stated. But also, I'm not repulsed by the physical act of sex itself. Personally. I'm more indifferent. It doesn't do anything for me unless I escape into my own head with my characters.
So just also know that you can have sexual activities as an aegosexual person for, say, your partner's happiness and just not be into it yourself.
Thank you so much for making this video and bringing attention to this microlabel!
It’s literally a justification porn addiction
I've always been ace spec but I've been questioning a lot if I'm ace or aegosexual. Anyway I'm pretty sure I'm aego. This video was really helpful, thank you
Can i be aegosexual if I’ve had too many hookups in my life? I’ve just realized that the fact that when a hookup starts, i feel good, arroused etc. but it fades in a minute or two… And on the whole, i prefer self-pleasure to the actual hookups. Like… the master..yk thing brings me more joy than meeting someone in real life.
I find the term aego very helpful. Do i get it right that the emergence of this term… kinda removes stigma from master… 🦇 ing? If so, then it’s great! ❤❤❤
I think I’m Aegosexual. I’ve been thinking of Asexuality till 2023. At 2023 I thought I was Straight-Apothisexual, and actually I THINK I’m Straight-Ageosexual. But I’m new SII don’t know about this community ;((
I think I may be a bit aegosexual & demisexual. I love reading 'those' scenes in books and while I don't typically picture myself in the character's place, I do feel @roused reading them, and can definitely look at celebrities, fictional characters, thirst traps, etc. and think "they're HOT." I practice self-pleasure, and I do want to have $*x. However, I have no desire or urge to 'do it' with someone I have not formed an emotional connection with. The thought of personally having *that* without emotional connection just makes me cringe. Thank you for this!
I identify as Aegosexual myself. I appreciate you talking about it
Idk what that is
That's very interesting.
As a demi-sexual person, who has a libido and comsumes adult material, I don't really identify myself with the protagonists of adult media or see me as a part of it.
I purely use it as a source for arousal, because I like wathing/reading it.
After all, the ace spectrum is a called a spectrum for a good reason. It's blurry and very personal how it manifests.
On the fantasies regarding celebrities and fictional characters... As a demi-sexual, you usually dont have such feelings, fantasies or even crushes on those people. So Imho it's something relatively special regarding aegosexual folks.
😅 I figured it out because explicit content is arousing but the actual act of sex is not so much UNLESS I feel alot of romantic feelings toward them. So really I identify as both Aegosexual and Demisexual. But mostly real life people usually don't produce sexual attraction. It's uncommon for me. I still feel romantic and Esthetic attraction but that doesn't equate to "wanna smash"... it's complicated.
I recently started thinking about the fact that, though I very much enjoy sexual fantasies and self-love, I never fantasize about people I know. Thinking back through my life, I could only come up with two examples of actually fantasizing about people in my life. Even when I've desired someone as a romantic partner, I still didn't fantasize about them. Since I've always had fantasies and masturbation has long been a part of my life, I'd never even considered that I might be ace before. Realizing that it might be the case, though, is honestly pretty liberating.
It's weird, what if I don't mind any sexual activity (including masterbation) but don't want to do it myself? Just don't feel a need to get into the world? Even though I can watch content like that in a movie or show and enjoy it? Though I identified as Ace for a few years now? Like, the signs all point to yes, but there's still doubt in the background?
..
Idk if I'm aego, help pls
Thank you! It feels so good to finally be able to describe how I feel. I always felt a bit weird about having s*x but never about watching (stuff ^^). also felt really weird to fantasize about people I know and like. ❤
I don't mind the micro labels, and I think they're neat for self evaluation..... but just telling people asexual pretty much demands a whole ted talk, so I don't really use them personally.
Can you be Aegosexual but still feel want a relationship? Ive just been learning about the ace spectrum and this helped!
yes! you can feel romantic attraction without sexual attraction
so happy that I found myself because of your videos, thank you so much
This fits me so well! Still just going to say aroace in public bc tbh I don’t want to talk to people irl about something this personal. But it’s cool to have a word.
I AM AEGOSEXUAL ACTUALLY~! and all i can say is: it,s hard LIKING the concept but not wanting to participate since everyone will question you everytime you do or say anything in this topic. I,m aego and i LOVE romance and i like the sheer concept of sex yet i don,t like reading about it or watching it
I’m on a road trip and I was board so I went down a huge rabbit hole trying to find my sexuality and I couldn’t find anything until I looked up the opposite of autosexual and I was like “oh… so that’s it”
Guess...i finally found the word to describe kinda how i've been feeling all this time :3
Doesn't the concept of aegosexual have to be incorporated into the definition of asexual? I think dissociation is the key
I’m glad I’m aego but I don’t do that I thought I wasn’t but I just imagine fantasy and don’t master you know what
After years of confusion, I’ve finally found who I am ❤ thank you so much!
for me it's kinda funny, I can only enjoy adult content when is in english (not my mother tong). For some reason is more comfortable for me
I tell people I'm ace because it's easier if someone asks I usually just say ace because I feel people will look at me wrong
Am i aegosexual If i feel sexual attraction to irl people too but i dont want to have specifically sex but i want to engage in other sexual activities like hugging without shirts on. Am i still aegosexual?
Yay I'm aegoromantic and aegosexual (bi)
Leggo my aeggo
I can relate to parts of this but I grey ace better describes me
I guess I learn some more about myself everyday😌
Thank you so much i need to just learn to pronounce the word lol
is pornography aegeosexual-a sexual fantasy
I relate to both Aego and Demi. 🤔
I've experienced a huge amount of confusion regarding sorting out my own sexuality because I can't seem to find anyone else in the same category as me. Aegosexual sounds like it's finally in the ballpark but still not on target. I experience feelings of attraction, which I have come to refer to as crushes, really commonly; however while I may respond to these feelings similar to how most people do, the differences have been enough to make people ask questions. I don't understand most forms of romantic physical contact and they generally don't appeal to me. I am far from being asexual, I'd say I fantasize about sexual things as often or nearly as often as an allosexual. But another thing is that I'm not always comfortable with having sexual feelings. Being horny doesn't typically cause me to want to engage in sexual activity, but might instead just bother me and make me wish I had a medicine to shut it off. I oscillate between being very sexual and very nonsexual over a timespan of months to over a year, and I'm happiest and most content during the nonsexual phase. I am currently thinking I am aromantic but I never thought this could be the case until recently; I have often considered myself to be something of a romantic, although my romantic expression seems entirely different from that of allosexuals. The allosexual idea that friends and sexual partners are two distinct categories is anathema to me--while I am not at all opposed to the idea of having a one night stand with someone I just met (I often want that), I can't imagine knowing a person, being sexual with them, and not being really close friends. "Friends with benefits" is the long-term relationship setup which appeals most to me. I don't experience jealousy the way most allosexuals do over the thought of any of my sexual partners being interested in other people. If I like them, I want them to be happy. If banging someone else makes them happy, I fail to see what is the problem. And then when I _don't_ get jealous, my allosexual partner may think that I don't love them. I've had partners set me up for jealousy just to test me, and thanks to my most recent girlfriend I finally managed to connect the dots on that one, because she gave me the same test but was so determined to have me pass the test that she basically schooled me on what the correct answers were.
Figuring myself out has always been difficult. For the entirety of my childhood and a good fraction of my adulthood I felt like simply an outcast, an alien, just different from absolutely everyone else. When I finally started to figure out some of the groups I fit into, it started to get even weirder because I kept adding groups to the list and still not covering all the bases. Though realizing I belong to so many minority categories has helped to explain why many of them initially don't appear to fit. But then it seems like no matter how many I discover, there will always be more. Figuring out who I am sometimes doesn't seem to make me feel any less alien.
My list so far:
- autistic/HFA/Asperger
- sexually attracted to females
- not alloromantic, likely aromantic
- not allosexual but not asexual
- male sex, yet woman-brained
- I consider myself transgender
- ADHD, possibly severe
- probably others which I can't remember at the moment
If any of you can tell me where I might fit, please chime in!
I recently figured out I was ace specifically aegosexual/autochorissexual this video was very helpful.