Total War Three Kingdoms IS A PERFECTLY BALANCED GAME WITH NO EXPLOITS - EXCLUDING UNLIMITED HORSES

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  • Опубліковано 21 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 2,8 тис.

  • @vvolfenstein
    @vvolfenstein 5 років тому +1383

    Dear Lord Spiffing! That animation at the start was glorious!

    • @karltownsend2615
      @karltownsend2615 5 років тому +22

      Even has a Yorkshire Tea Teabag.. GLORIOUS

    • @lilwyvern4
      @lilwyvern4 5 років тому +20

      It's so fluid and expressive. I wonder who did it.

    • @game_scythe2937
      @game_scythe2937 5 років тому +7

      Hmm I would agree that the animations are great so the spiffing Britt should keep it up

    • @friedmule5403
      @friedmule5403 5 років тому +6

      @@thespiffingbrit I think that these small animations is fare better then your stock photos, even that they were great and funny!:-)

    • @MrDazzlerdarren
      @MrDazzlerdarren 5 років тому +2

      @@lilwyvern4 I sipped my tea salubriously when I saw it the first time ......mmmmmm mmmmm mmmmmmm xx

  • @PTB_BE
    @PTB_BE 5 років тому +5270

    Use the British exploit named Opium

    • @mastercobalt2454
      @mastercobalt2454 5 років тому +262

      I cannot see any negative consequence

    • @fredrigo7925
      @fredrigo7925 5 років тому +112

      it has already been done, no need to prove that the Brits can do it again

    • @PTB_BE
      @PTB_BE 5 років тому +120

      @@fredrigo7925 I mean, Hong Kong surely looks like a nice place

    • @edwardkung2258
      @edwardkung2258 5 років тому +32

      MasterCobalt goddamn the racism is real

    • @jimzimmer2048
      @jimzimmer2048 5 років тому +51

      Edward kung calmdown

  • @Bla5turbator
    @Bla5turbator 5 років тому +460

    >Sima Yi
    >Quite cheap
    >2nd best if not THE best strategist of the three kingdoms period
    >spiff pls

    • @daemiax
      @daemiax 5 років тому +67

      *Laughs in Zhuge Liang*

    • @grief6052
      @grief6052 5 років тому +17

      Blasturbator So basically sima yi destroys everything even in this broken timeline lol
      The irony

    • @PrivateWillyRichardJohnson
      @PrivateWillyRichardJohnson 5 років тому +28

      Sima Yi is effectively a meme in mythic form. (Especially if you've played Dynasty warriors 7 campaign.
      (Sima Yi) Wow China's really broken right now, let's exploit this. Is he the Chinese Spiffing Brit?

    • @Slixer
      @Slixer 5 років тому +2

      I mean it depends really, if you believe the Hype that Zhuge Liang was a genius then he likely is. If you don't believe the bullshit then he's just lucky more than anything.

    • @tinkerermelon6599
      @tinkerermelon6599 5 років тому +1

      His name also rhymes with tea, so there's that.

  • @rumo893
    @rumo893 5 років тому +251

    The “grabbing of the emperor works this way, because that is basically what Cao Cao actually did. Yes, including only sending a few men

    • @chrisb9143
      @chrisb9143 2 роки тому +48

      What can I do ! The city is on fire, and I have the Emperor !
      Wait a minute, the city is on fire, I have the Emperor, I'm in charge !

    • @bensoncheung2801
      @bensoncheung2801 2 роки тому

      144p 👍

    • @hoff4301
      @hoff4301 2 роки тому

      @@chrisb9143 oversimplified lol

  • @HamaguriSensei
    @HamaguriSensei 5 років тому +436

    1:17 "COW COW"
    Me: (Having a long Nam Flashback of Dynasty Warriors when Cao Cao was called "COW COW".)

    • @acetraker1988
      @acetraker1988 5 років тому +17

      Dynasty Warriors Players MEME :).

    • @bubbasbigblast8563
      @bubbasbigblast8563 5 років тому +16

      If you don't want to be a Cow Cow, spell that shit phonically.

    • @orgixvi3
      @orgixvi3 5 років тому +17

      What about Cao Pi?

    • @OsidiustheEmphatic
      @OsidiustheEmphatic 5 років тому +17

      And Kwang. All I imagine when I hear that is a Japanese person talking about the TMNT villain.

    • @mattescalante3822
      @mattescalante3822 5 років тому +4

      Enemy cowards before cow cow!

  • @JDBD13
    @JDBD13 5 років тому +389

    How do you defeat China?
    Spiffing: Be Mongolian.
    The Great Wall: Oh shit, I forgot that was today!

  • @trygveplaustrum4634
    @trygveplaustrum4634 5 років тому +82

    Spiff: playing as the Mongols and Huns before the Mongols and Huns.

    • @Mathwayb
      @Mathwayb 5 років тому +4

      I'm glad someone else noticed that he was basically playing as the Mongols.

  • @Spoon80085
    @Spoon80085 5 років тому +74

    “And you look at the clock and where has all the time gone, and what happened to the British empire!”
    I love this because it implies that spiff is over 200 years old to remember the empire at its peak. I can believe it

  • @josephrichards4618
    @josephrichards4618 5 років тому +265

    Things no one expects:
    Spanish inquisition
    Special Forces
    Spiffing Brit at the middle of the video

  • @engineergaming1624
    @engineergaming1624 5 років тому +582

    Spiff: *Cheeses Total War 3*
    Mongolians: That's a great idea! *Gets tons of horse pastures*
    GENGIS KHAN TIME

    • @math3000
      @math3000 5 років тому +23

      so that's how the Mongols got their horses

    • @hyeontube
      @hyeontube 5 років тому +20

      Total War: Rise of the Khan

    • @samuelschurman3762
      @samuelschurman3762 5 років тому +1

      Hyeon Tube Is that an actual thing? Because if it’s not it really should be.

    • @geoffreyM2TW
      @geoffreyM2TW 5 років тому

      At least he tries. I call them, the Green one, the Blue one, etc, because they all seem to have variations of the same name, like Mr Howe, Mr Hugh, Mr Hughes, Mr Hewes, Mr Howes, and so on, let alone I have no clue how to pronounce those names in the first place. I admire the Chinese for one thing certainly, for being able to communicate in a language with a huge vocabulary based apparently just on variations of about a dozen monosyllabic words.

    • @anadaere6861
      @anadaere6861 5 років тому +4

      Spiff, the legendary genocidal war tactician
      Price: The entire world for colonization
      Upkeep: Yokshire Tea

  • @romanminaster5180
    @romanminaster5180 5 років тому +170

    The real reason America threw tea in the harbour:
    They were trying to turn the ocean into tea in the name of the queen

    • @rahmatbanua7009
      @rahmatbanua7009 5 років тому +3

      Roman Minaster can't argue with that logic!

    • @robert23456789
      @robert23456789 5 років тому +4

      oh i get it they were trying to make salt water tea ..damm we took it the wrong way they were just trying to make there own brand of tea we should say sorry now

    • @brandonderr4337
      @brandonderr4337 5 років тому +3

      By throwing tea in the harbor they made all the fish addicted to tea.All they would have to do is attach a few tea bags to the nets.

    • @jfs366
      @jfs366 5 років тому +4

      Roman Minaster NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS WOULD A PROUD AMERICAN DO SUCH A THING IN THE NAME OF YOUR SO CALLED QUEEN🇺🇸🇺🇸 *bald eagles shriek in the distance*🦅🦅🦅

    • @romanminaster5180
      @romanminaster5180 5 років тому

      @@jfs366 who said she was _my_ queen?
      _my_ ruler is Alexander The Great!

  • @squeedgod4310
    @squeedgod4310 5 років тому +820

    Please break Kenshi, I beg you
    P.S.
    I am drinking Yorkshire Gold tea

    • @sevensins3584
      @sevensins3584 5 років тому +7

      Yes please. I have a feeling it will involve robots

    • @jasonderuchie2536
      @jasonderuchie2536 5 років тому +6

      Seven Sins Nah he’ll make millions of cats making headbands

    • @E1nsty
      @E1nsty 5 років тому +1

      Spiffed Kenshi ftw

    • @Cory-lk5bu
      @Cory-lk5bu 5 років тому

      That's a great idea

    • @M00xVlog
      @M00xVlog 5 років тому

      YESYESYES

  • @Barista.Nathan
    @Barista.Nathan 5 років тому +40

    15:40 tmw Spiff unknowningly hires one of the most powerful characters in the game, Sima Yi aka father to Sima Zhao and the grandfather of the first Enperor of Jin, Sima Yan.

    • @deatheven13
      @deatheven13 5 років тому +6

      Well today he is Horsey Boi of the Splendiferous Mustache of the 5 Winds

  • @paulallensdemise2533
    @paulallensdemise2533 3 роки тому +280

    Ai: *moderate loses predicted*
    Spiffing Brit: and i took that personally.

  • @johnalogue9832
    @johnalogue9832 4 роки тому +81

    19:50 "Just put all the trebuchets in the front in a line"
    Oh hi siege of Winterfell, glad to see you're still getting work.

  • @stevobo2414
    @stevobo2414 5 років тому +510

    K E N S H I
    hoping to see some chad bots

  • @itsedenyo3553
    @itsedenyo3553 5 років тому +158

    Kenshi is a great game where you can smuggle in hashish just by dropping your bag

    • @jlipawen6453
      @jlipawen6453 5 років тому +1

      I understood that referrence

  • @TheRealGuywithoutaMustache
    @TheRealGuywithoutaMustache 5 років тому +180

    It's like Dynasty Warriors but actually requires strategy instead of jumping in head first, treating everyone like fodder while you're an invincible god.

    • @Skaryys
      @Skaryys 5 років тому +18

      @Sightless_Seeker Lu Bu in the newest games isn't what he used to be in 3 and 4 tho :(

    • @t3hsourcey
      @t3hsourcey 5 років тому +5

      Dynasty Warriors is mostly power fantasy aesthetics, the strategy elements are minor and it's mostly down to mission sequence in the hardest of maps.

    • @artofthepossible7329
      @artofthepossible7329 5 років тому +2

      Dynasty Warriors is the epic fights parts of ROTK, TW:TK is the strategy part.

    • @rocmsocem
      @rocmsocem 5 років тому +1

      Lu bu in this game can take on 1000 plus if fresh and decent level lol

    • @lottearr
      @lottearr 5 років тому +1

      @@artofthepossible7329 then you get the regular rotk. Oh I miss the nights of playing it til 3 am...

  • @sorg3ns
    @sorg3ns 5 років тому +228

    "The daddy Dong himself" I spit out my tea

    • @spaedoo4374
      @spaedoo4374 3 роки тому +5

      the massive chunky overload....overlord i mean

    • @ravezon
      @ravezon Рік тому +1

      Amazing part about that is that its true. Well probably not the dong itself but the guy was a huge womanizer. Like every tyrant ever. 🤣🤣🤣

  • @Gongolongo
    @Gongolongo 5 років тому +28

    There is historical context of Qiang Hunters having longer range. Qiang, like many of the Northern horsemen, use compound bows which are probably the biggest energy bows made in ancient time. It has approximately 30% now energy than even the English long bow that comes a thousand years later.
    The main drawback is that it takes a year to make because of the way they treat the wood.

    • @neidhartmuller8804
      @neidhartmuller8804 2 роки тому

      i thought compund bows were invented in the 1960's

    • @heitorpedrodegodoi5646
      @heitorpedrodegodoi5646 Рік тому +6

      @@neidhartmuller8804 He is talking about composite bow, the inventors just named compound bow the modern and now make other people problem.

  • @LightsCameraAwesome3
    @LightsCameraAwesome3 5 років тому +79

    1:15
    Spiffing: Calls Cao Cao "Cow Cow"
    Me: Instantly flashes back to the bad Dynasty Warriors dubs of old...

  • @kondordrache9766
    @kondordrache9766 5 років тому +93

    Yes please play kenshi next there is even a mod that enables tea farming

  • @gahmivolka
    @gahmivolka 5 років тому +241

    I would love to see you exploit the hell out of Kenshi lol

    • @oliverskak
      @oliverskak 5 років тому +3

      Yes!

    • @edgelordy
      @edgelordy 5 років тому +1

      Bilbo Saggins maybe he’s waiting for Kenshi 2 which is coming soon.

    • @nathanknight1942
      @nathanknight1942 5 років тому +4

      @@edgelordy Soon™ its going to be years before that ever gets released.

    • @Caniid
      @Caniid 5 років тому +1

      I could use something that would ease the grind in that game

    • @oliverskak
      @oliverskak 5 років тому

      @@edgelordy How, the first game is barely done yet from a technical stand point?

  • @Elbon-the-Lolinator
    @Elbon-the-Lolinator 5 років тому +130

    "Everyone loves taxes!"
    Tea and a harbor comes to mind.

    • @soliare1013
      @soliare1013 5 років тому +2

      Wtf is that name? 😂👌👍

    • @PiousSlayer
      @PiousSlayer 5 років тому +3

      @@soliare1013
      Amazingness is what it is!

    • @dyahutari982
      @dyahutari982 5 років тому +3

      USA

    • @TheDeadRadioKing
      @TheDeadRadioKing 4 роки тому +1

      We'll double back for them whenever we get around to it.

    • @mmmax_2
      @mmmax_2 4 роки тому

      What you speak is treason... treason against the empire i say

  • @kaedenlivesey1980
    @kaedenlivesey1980 5 років тому +32

    Spiffy: uploads new vid
    All game developers: BUG FIXERS!

  • @pathalenvivaldi7811
    @pathalenvivaldi7811 5 років тому +20

    The new animations are adorable! And Might and Magic! And thanks for the great show as always, of course. ;D

  • @redxlaser1562
    @redxlaser1562 5 років тому +78

    I would love if you showed us the totally balanced game of Kenshi that has absolutely no exploits.

  • @pentumfarshadow7051
    @pentumfarshadow7051 5 років тому +944

    “I don’t know Three Kingdoms Lore”
    - Spiff
    Three Kingdoms Lore, aka History

    • @scottagon
      @scottagon 5 років тому +164

      I'm pretty sure that lore would be an appropriate word. The game is based mostly on the romance of the three kingdoms.

    • @kekecnakvadrat
      @kekecnakvadrat 5 років тому +79

      It really is lore, very little historical evidence aboit this period.

    • @matthewleefriend
      @matthewleefriend 5 років тому +68

      @@kekecnakvadrat actually there is a dozen of records about the three kingdoms period during and after the period. With the Records of the Three Kingdoms by Chan Shou being one of the highest regarded Chinese historial records out there.

    • @kekecnakvadrat
      @kekecnakvadrat 5 років тому +31

      @@matthewleefriend about that, majority of these records were written hundreds of years later, and were based ln folks tales.

    • @matthewleefriend
      @matthewleefriend 5 років тому +46

      @@kekecnakvadrat Which sources exactly, if you mean the annotations of the Record of the Three Kingdoms by Pei Songzhi then it can get quite inaccurate sometimes as the guy did inculde folk tales in his work and did written hundreds of years after the three kingdoms period. There are a lot of so called records of the three kingdoms period that are merely fantasies base on that era. But the Record of the Three Kingdoms itself is written just after the period ended, using offical records from Wei and Wu as references and the author originally a Shu offical, and being complimented for trying to use sources that are as accurate as possible.

  • @garglthunder9627
    @garglthunder9627 5 років тому +1913

    Casually buys Sima Yi for cheap without knowing how important this guy actually was...

    • @ChampionBlueRacing
      @ChampionBlueRacing 5 років тому +118

      As Sima Yi would say IMBECILE! XD

    • @bagelguy4519
      @bagelguy4519 5 років тому +16

      exactly

    • @anadaere6861
      @anadaere6861 5 років тому +80

      Is it bad that I know ppl from history and legends from Fate?
      (I do research them afterwards)

    • @anadaere6861
      @anadaere6861 5 років тому +52

      Its not sima yi
      ITS SIMI YA

    • @nmarbletoe8210
      @nmarbletoe8210 5 років тому +6

      @@anadaere6861 Ya. James Ya.

  • @lordlucius1341
    @lordlucius1341 4 роки тому +82

    Spiff: ride for me.
    Horsemen: how much will you pay us?
    Spiff: yes.

    • @tomsmith247
      @tomsmith247 Рік тому

      The correct answer would be "no"

  • @floridamancode_e2673
    @floridamancode_e2673 5 років тому +285

    > Total war 3 kingdoms lore
    Also known as Chinese history

    • @samhansen9771
      @samhansen9771 5 років тому +22

      @@thespiffingbrit so late Chinese history?

    • @Healermain15
      @Healermain15 5 років тому +7

      @@samhansen9771 British Chinese history if you will.

    • @thefrenchbastard1646
      @thefrenchbastard1646 5 років тому +4

      being the oldes historical fiction novel it the world doesn't make it more historicaly accuret than more recent entries in the genre

    • @floridamancode_e2673
      @floridamancode_e2673 5 років тому +17

      @@thefrenchbastard1646 no but he said it in reference to not knowing characters who are all real people that existed. Of course a total war game isn't 100% accurate to history. But it's like saying you don't know who this Hitler fellow is because you aren't up to date on wolfinstein lore

    • @Caleb-en5bo
      @Caleb-en5bo 5 років тому +11

      More like heavily romanticized Chinese history mixed with Chinese mythology.

  • @rogersrs9261
    @rogersrs9261 5 років тому +402

    As a Chinese, listen to your pronunciation of characters makes me laugh a lot, I love it

    • @krishurlburt7375
      @krishurlburt7375 5 років тому +29

      Glad to see you escaped that hell hole alive.

    • @hunterstamper6171
      @hunterstamper6171 5 років тому +10

      @@krishurlburt7375 um lol

    • @cacs2201
      @cacs2201 5 років тому +31

      @@krishurlburt7375 you really do believe all the propaganda you get shown?

    • @zachk3702
      @zachk3702 5 років тому +19

      KWANG HUNTERS

    • @cacs2201
      @cacs2201 5 років тому +8

      @anshu lieyi a brain, not just dumb prejudice like you and him showed

  • @shockedgame5558
    @shockedgame5558 5 років тому +306

    I'm Chinese and your pronunciation of the names is Golden even though it most wrong

    • @anticactus17
      @anticactus17 5 років тому +14

      Not Chinese, but took mandarin and I feel very similar about his pronunciations.

    • @shockedgame5558
      @shockedgame5558 5 років тому +2

      snowy smiling no I understand both manderin and English

    • @shockedgame5558
      @shockedgame5558 5 років тому

      snowy smiling prc?

    • @TheCommunistColin
      @TheCommunistColin 5 років тому +1

      @@shockedgame5558 the mainland, the People's Republic of China

    • @Worldwideweb1994
      @Worldwideweb1994 5 років тому +18

      Same here (not from mainland China though), the pronunciation of all the western youtubers I've seen so far are...interesting, to say the least haha

  • @aleksandargujas2375
    @aleksandargujas2375 Рік тому +6

    This is legit one of the most entertaining channels on youtube. I drink a spot of tea in your honour.

  • @godofcrap42
    @godofcrap42 5 років тому +24

    15:30- my thoughts
    "He's just gonna grab the cheap ones... oop, double strategist, not a good idea there's no front line gener- DID HE JUST BUY SIMA YI FOR 2K LIKE IT WAS NOTHING!?"

    • @tigerwarrior1787
      @tigerwarrior1787 3 роки тому +1

      Considering the money he was generating, he DID just buy Sima Yi for nothing.

  • @firockfinion3326
    @firockfinion3326 5 років тому +41

    >Almost a thousand years later, when Ghengis Khan invades China
    Chinese historians at the time: "Hmm, something seems familiar about this..."

  • @XannisV
    @XannisV 5 років тому +265

    Spiff: ARE YOU DRINKING TEA!!?!!?!?
    Me: * staring at my soup * ... yes?

  • @kennykrool74
    @kennykrool74 5 років тому +27

    KENSHI is pretty jank and awesome and hilarious

  • @MihaiCornean
    @MihaiCornean 5 років тому +98

    Well it's on Easy... here's some cheese for legendary: start with the bandit queen, make peace with dong min by promising him max gold per turn and territory, then ask to marry lu bu by doing the same. after getting lu bu, promote him to faction heir, then attack some random guy and get one of generals killed so you can replace the general with lu bu for free (instead of >10k or whatever it costs to deploy him). Then declare war on dong min, which will make you take diplomatic penalty but who cares since you are the bandit queen. this will cancel all the gold per turn you promised him so gg. now you have bandit queen and lu bu in one army, nothing can stop it.

    • @thelorp5186
      @thelorp5186 4 роки тому +8

      Well that sounds like it should be illegal lol

    • @Seriak6
      @Seriak6 4 роки тому +4

      @@thelorp5186 Been patched out i believe :/

  • @MySphincter94
    @MySphincter94 2 роки тому +91

    Every time he says "Three Kingdoms", all I hear is "Free Kingdoms". Free? No. Through exploits? Yes. Free Kingdoms.

  • @ItsJensik
    @ItsJensik 5 років тому +79

    They don't sell Yorkshire in my part of Texas, so I'm stuck with Twinnings. I hope I don't disappoint you.

    • @lukegonzalez4893
      @lukegonzalez4893 5 років тому +7

      Ignoring the meme of Yorkshire Tea, I love the Twinnings Orangery of Lady Grey is a great tea for lunch or afternoon. It's a delicious black tea and helps me get through the day when I'm teaching. I have a shelf of various teas in my classroom and Orangery of Lady Grey by Twinnings is up there as one of my favorites. Harney & Sons Victorian London Fog is pretty good, but a bit strong on the bitterness for my person tastes, but still good if you make sure not to seep too long. Tealyra is kinda expensive, but it definitely comes through in the taste. They do sell a taste tester to help with the price sting. And, if you haven't tried it, Osulloc Jeju Island tea from Korea is an absolutely amazing blend. The Hibiscus Cherry Blossom tea is to just die for. But, jeez, it is beyond incredibly expensive, and I live in Korea! The Blended Organic Hibiscus Cherry Blossom tea is available from Amazon and costs $25 for just 10 packets! But, it's super easy to taste and smell why. The smell alone is just so strong.

    • @Jack-nf8eh
      @Jack-nf8eh 5 років тому

      If you have a World Market somewhere in your area, you can find everything in there.

    • @lamezorlord
      @lamezorlord 5 років тому

      Trust me man, as someone from the UK and being facetious while ignoring the joke, Twinings >> Yorkshire tea. You're not missing much.

    • @Wolvenworks
      @Wolvenworks 5 років тому

      i actually tried to find Yorkshire Tea in London, but all they got is Twinnings too...

    • @spamuel98
      @spamuel98 5 років тому

      Same here :/

  • @ColinTimmins
    @ColinTimmins 5 років тому +16

    I'm really liking the Spiffing Brit cartoon avatar animations. *raises his tea cup in salute!*

  • @hiachi4768
    @hiachi4768 5 років тому +217

    How to break empire total war.
    1. buy the game
    2. install the game
    3.start the game
    4. there have fun!

    • @DMurphyApple
      @DMurphyApple 5 років тому +1

      can u explain pls? played it when i was young and liked it

    • @PAINNN666
      @PAINNN666 5 років тому +3

      @@DMurphyApple it was at the start. Now it's polished

  • @thestarwarsmusiccomposer3491
    @thestarwarsmusiccomposer3491 Рік тому +5

    1:19 the Horrid pronunciation of "cao cao" followed by the perfect pronunciation of "sun jian" Was the thing that confirmed to me that i needed to subscribe 😂

  • @EAfirstlast
    @EAfirstlast 5 років тому +27

    note the turtle trick doesn't work on higher ai difficulties as it won't shoot at a unit with 100 percent block chance

    • @the_tactician9858
      @the_tactician9858 4 роки тому +6

      Which implies that AI on higher difficulty is ACTUALLY SMARTER than low-level AI

    • @SiefausOsna
      @SiefausOsna 4 роки тому

      @@the_tactician9858 THAT'S CRAZY!!

    • @generalshock4359
      @generalshock4359 4 роки тому +1

      @@SiefausOsna you would be surprised at how rare that is XD so many cheating AI

  • @anshulmehra6230
    @anshulmehra6230 5 років тому +39

    22:28 Well spiff you are playing on normal at hard difficulty arror doesn't shoot at turtle formation

    • @jonsong4592
      @jonsong4592 5 років тому +11

      you can still cheese that by toggling the formation off and back on when the arrows are in flight. doesnt work as well against towers though.

    • @talltroll7092
      @talltroll7092 5 років тому +1

      You can still replicate the general effect by arranging to have units with very high ranged deflect chance soak up the arrows. Also, one of the general skills in Romance mode has a 100% ranged deflect buff for 30 or 40 seconds, so with a bit of careful timing and good trebuchet/flaming arrow work, you could still burn down any towers with very light losses, if not actually 0, and even do a bit of dancing back and forth to take maximum advantage of the general skill, and drain the defenders arrows. Fast cav charging laterally across their line (left to right, to preserve the shield bonus) will also draw arrows which will mostly land behind them. Turtle Attraction is just the cheesiest method, not the only one

  • @ericbrock5405
    @ericbrock5405 4 роки тому +7

    Hearing Cao Cao pronounced "Cow Cow" brought some severe classic Dynasty Warriors dub nostalgia/whiplash

  • @Michael-tj5le
    @Michael-tj5le 5 років тому +649

    If you don't play Kenshi I'm switching to coffee. You have a week.

    • @josesoto3303
      @josesoto3303 4 роки тому +6

      I have spoken

    • @Rankao
      @Rankao 4 роки тому +3

      Did he ever so Kenshi?

    • @xaviera.rodriguez7569
      @xaviera.rodriguez7569 4 роки тому +2

      THATM AKES 2 OF US

    • @c.fyffe0
      @c.fyffe0 4 роки тому +2

      @Mr Smiley just made my fucking day thank you stranger

    • @chazcarbis6515
      @chazcarbis6515 4 роки тому

      was literally looking for this. Thank
      you

  • @shiyian
    @shiyian Рік тому +13

    him calling cao cao kao kao killed my chinese soul

    • @crownofglory1264
      @crownofglory1264 Рік тому +1

      He hears Kao Kao (in his head),
      you hear your ancestors crying.

  • @JoeBurgerCinematicUniverse
    @JoeBurgerCinematicUniverse 2 роки тому +15

    Me in pain every time he said quiang, knowing that it is pronounced Chang

  • @aprettycoolguy3489
    @aprettycoolguy3489 4 роки тому +399

    "I have no idea about the Total War Three Kingdoms lore"
    Spiff you do realize this game is based off of historical events and real people right?

    • @glitchypriest3462
      @glitchypriest3462 4 роки тому +116

      You mean, the game is based off of a novel based off of historical events and real people!

    • @the_tactician9858
      @the_tactician9858 4 роки тому +11

      @ I like it tho, is that wrong? Also Records of the Three Kingdoms exists; if you want the 'real history', you can have that.

    • @GarkKahn
      @GarkKahn 3 роки тому +2

      Yeah... kind of

    • @PragmaticAntithesis
      @PragmaticAntithesis 3 роки тому +30

      He's British, we don't respect other cultures here

    • @Intranetusa
      @Intranetusa 3 роки тому +4

      It's a game based on historical records about the timeperiod written in the 3rd century, and also based on a 14th centiry historical fiction novel that was based historical records.

  • @thedrake5072
    @thedrake5072 5 років тому +60

    Developers hate him! Watch this and learn how to brick every game totally legally!
    *We are the Spiffs. We are many. We are Legion. You will not stop all of us. Under our leader, we go out and break every game. Resistance is futile. We are the Spiffs.*

    • @stilickoh
      @stilickoh 5 років тому +2

      We are the Spiffs, Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.

    • @eddyyaeji6769
      @eddyyaeji6769 4 роки тому +1

      all hail Spiff, our glorious leader.

  • @noahcarver1707
    @noahcarver1707 5 років тому +6

    2 things;
    1) love the animations at the start
    2) due to your *subliminal* messaging, I've started to sit down with a cup of tea whenever I interact with my computer, not just video games, not just your videos
    it has improved my life

  • @megamen7353
    @megamen7353 2 роки тому +40

    My first playtrough was with MaTeng and i didnt understand why the diff seems hard tbh. If you are familiar with the 3K history (which you all are prob) MaTeng is a very strong governor with a lot of great talents on the region.
    But weird part is (and i had to do a few save/load because of this), in my gameplay, Dong suddenly become my enemy in the very early part of the game. Normally Dong doesnt become your enemy till you get all the cities around you and become a strong figure. Since i was Dong's vassal, everybody in the Alliance hates you automatically. And when you also add Dong too as a hater, it was very challenging, i mean very very challenging to establish a strong kingdom.
    But as i said, normally you dont have to deal with dong that early.
    Anyway, MaTeng is great if you like to start weak but become strong quickly. I myself like to build that power from 0, for that MaTeng works perfect. There is no strong power around you, you are weak but for your own region you are also strong lol. Generally Liu Bei doesnt hold on till the "3 kingdoms" part but once we were divided as 4 kingdoms (3+myself) and it was very nice to play. But as i said, generally Liu gets fucked by Cao Cao or basically anyone so it becomes 3 kingdoms with less Shu, more MaTeng.

  • @lenam5555
    @lenam5555 4 роки тому +97

    The spiffing brit: sees the word qiang
    The spiffing brit: well that's pronounced kwan innit

    • @caniblmolstr4503
      @caniblmolstr4503 3 роки тому

      Well Mandarin is a very hard language. Sounds evoked by zh and q sound the same to a western ear.
      But at the least its grammar has rules unlike French

    • @ХристоМартунковграфЛозенски
      @ХристоМартунковграфЛозенски 3 роки тому +1

      @@caniblmolstr4503 French has rules. Hard rules. With lots of exceptions though, but as the French themselves would say, "it's the exception that confirms the rule".

    • @caniblmolstr4503
      @caniblmolstr4503 2 роки тому

      @oop Yup.. Qin Shi Huang is pronounced Chin Shi Huang

  • @oldirty84
    @oldirty84 5 років тому +29

    I'm drinking Earl Grey. I'd love a Kenshi video though

    • @poedameron8057
      @poedameron8057 5 років тому

      The only tea in my house is earl grey and I don’t like it :(.

    • @scottmiller4295
      @scottmiller4295 5 років тому

      bet he goes unarmed, unarmed is god tier end game. how he gets there that will be the interesting bit.

  • @hatter3555
    @hatter3555 5 років тому +34

    *SMASHING* - Nah
    *SPIFFING* - [RULE BRITANIA! BRITANIA RULE THE WAVES..]

  • @Damian90110
    @Damian90110 5 років тому +49

    you play heroes of might and magic 3 and I will go down to the shops and buy some Yorkshire gold and drink it (i have never had tea before)

    • @davidgustavsson4000
      @davidgustavsson4000 5 років тому

      That is next level dweeb. Your profile picture (and name) is manga, but you've never had tea?

    • @Damian90110
      @Damian90110 5 років тому

      @@davidgustavsson4000 ssshhhhh

    • @microqueen69
      @microqueen69 5 років тому +4

      there is a start for everything. one day you start reading manga, next day you have read them all. You start drinking tea and before you know it you have sworn allegiance to the British Empire and your diet consists of tea, tea and tea.

  • @Jose_LopezCasillas
    @Jose_LopezCasillas 4 роки тому +18

    "Cow Cow" haven't heard it pronounced like that since like Dynasty Warriors 6, lol. Love the video though, dunno if im gonna try this but it's good to know.

  • @checking105
    @checking105 4 роки тому +6

    Another interesting thing about MaTeng if he wasn't already op enough is that you can get Lu Bu if you divorce your wife on the first turn then on the second turn marry her off to dong and receive Lu Bu... you then need to make him your heir on the turn that you marry him into your faction or he'll leave on the next turn if you do this you can also get the spice city down to the lower right side for cheap all within the first 3 turns.

  • @laninghamj
    @laninghamj 5 років тому +42

    "Sima Yi, he's nice." Everyone who knows anything about Three Kingdoms lore is nodding.

    • @Urielthalas
      @Urielthalas 5 років тому +9

      I was like "wait, THE Sima Yi? Yeah, he's preeeetty good."

    • @usamisomesortoftouhoucon5764
      @usamisomesortoftouhoucon5764 5 років тому

      He is nice, but his sons are even nicer.
      Now where’s my imperial seat?

  • @saurfeng
    @saurfeng 5 років тому +31

    I would love to see some Kenshi Mr.Spif.

  • @Antinomer
    @Antinomer 5 років тому +100

    "Total War: Three Kingdoms lore" is also known as Ancient Chinese history.

    • @jooasalmi730
      @jooasalmi730 5 років тому +36

      Well yes, but also no

    • @grief6052
      @grief6052 5 років тому +8

      Roni Antinomi kind of
      I mean it’s heavily romanticized and most of it is not correct

    • @Antinomer
      @Antinomer 5 років тому +2

      You are correct. :)

    • @bruhdude2725
      @bruhdude2725 5 років тому +8

      Sounds like a new colony to me

    • @boxingfrog
      @boxingfrog 5 років тому +1

      @@bruhdude2725 white hotep

  • @peterwang5660
    @peterwang5660 4 роки тому +48

    "Ma Teng casually hires Sima Yi after convincing the Qiang tribe to be his loyal vassals and worship him like a god simply because he has some high quality horses from pastures in the Mongolian steppe."...
    Wait... that's not how the story goes!

    • @daycmetrollingdeihatin5100
      @daycmetrollingdeihatin5100 3 роки тому

      Real talk.... Sima yi would have turned the ma into monsters..... Shame they were loyalists though.....

    • @blacksnow7106
      @blacksnow7106 2 роки тому +1

      @@daycmetrollingdeihatin5100 Lol no, as great as Sima Yi was, there's no way he could beat the most basic of war: Resources, Manpower and Logistic. 3 things that Wei amass extremely well, and 3 things that Xiliang definitely didn't have

  • @acidbrns
    @acidbrns 4 роки тому +8

    "Sima Yi he's quite cheap as well."
    dying!

  • @bulldogant3781
    @bulldogant3781 5 років тому +4

    Loved the video, and I know you don’t know how to say it, which is fair, but “Cow Cow” was absolutely beautiful.

  • @ManfredDudesonVonGuy
    @ManfredDudesonVonGuy 4 роки тому +10

    From what I've seen so far, Spiff is reenacting the Mongol rise to power and their battle tactics. Hey, it worked in real life.

    • @jerm70
      @jerm70 3 роки тому +1

      Imagine doing this to Chinese Players? *PTSD flashbacks*

  • @chad912
    @chad912 5 років тому +33

    Please for the love of all thats holy play Kenshi.... I have a feeling youre going to find some magical stuff in that game lol

    • @JacobEllinger
      @JacobEllinger 5 років тому +1

      As a man who put a few hundred hours in the game I don't see how you can cheese it in any meaningful way. You can rob the same crippled person to get your theivory skill maxed but that is kinda meh. You can just import over and over tI max your research but as far as I know unless there is a way to get your stats above max even maxed level characters can be killed pretty easily. All that said I would still like to see him try because who knows maybe he could find a way.

    • @chad912
      @chad912 5 років тому +1

      @@JacobEllinger have some faith in this mans ability to pull some fuckery out of his perfectly trimmed top hat.

    • @Thebestusername-fy5sl
      @Thebestusername-fy5sl 5 років тому

      @@JacobEllinger You can also cheese your sneak ability to god-like levels by sitting on a mountain near enemies (not near enough to ever realistically be spotted, plus the higher your sneak gets the harder you are to see) and move around until you achieve ninja godhood.

  • @thrackerzod8347
    @thrackerzod8347 3 роки тому +5

    I'm drinking a lovely floral tea right now. Highly recommend.

  • @Xaiff
    @Xaiff 5 років тому +44

    "... He's quite cheap." *casually buys Sima Yi*
    😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @bvbxiong5791
      @bvbxiong5791 5 років тому +2

      casually notices "this general, he's high level."

  • @redmoon383
    @redmoon383 5 років тому +29

    I dare you to repeat "Spiffing Brit and Tea" 40x my good sir!

  • @benthemaster4321
    @benthemaster4321 5 років тому +11

    What if you only had one unit/army in the turtle formation to draw all their fire so you would have extra space for the amazing horse archers of tea!

  • @luker9908
    @luker9908 5 років тому +85

    Casually just picking up Sima Yi into your army

    • @Lawnio
      @Lawnio 5 років тому +11

      you mean simi ya

    • @echoz1918
      @echoz1918 5 років тому +12

      You notice lu bu being his faction heir

  • @PatriSjodin
    @PatriSjodin Рік тому +1

    Im just amazed of all different still images you find and manage to fold in perfectly in the narrative xD

  • @RabbiSpruceTech
    @RabbiSpruceTech 4 роки тому +3

    Mounted archers shoot from higher vantage points than infantry, and the arrows fire at cavalry-added speed, flying farther in the air than they otherwise do - so they're not that broken! Agreed, excellent units.

  • @florianweber6914
    @florianweber6914 5 років тому +36

    Ahhh, the three kingdoms. Anime taught me so much about this amazing Era. It was a time dominated by busty WHO THE HELL ARE THOSE DUDES?!? These are supposed to be young beautiful women, not wrinkly old men!

    • @daycmetrollingdeihatin5100
      @daycmetrollingdeihatin5100 3 роки тому

      I dont know what anime youre talking about but literally the only one thats good is ravages of time....

  • @Omaeka991
    @Omaeka991 5 років тому +4

    Funniest part is that the guy you defeated in the seige is Cao Cao, considered the greatest strategist of his time.

  • @prestonh.2771
    @prestonh.2771 5 років тому +30

    Spiff: "Are you drinking tea?"
    Me: ... As a southerner, I somehow doubt that sweet tea is what you had in mind... but yes

    • @dosran5786
      @dosran5786 5 років тому +2

      you mean diabetes in a glass where the spoon stands straight up because it has so much sugar in it.

    • @samuelschurman3762
      @samuelschurman3762 5 років тому +7

      dosran dude that’s not what proper sweet tea is. Sweet tea is sweet yes but you should still be able to just faintly taste the bitterness of the tea. Also it’s sometimes called Sun Tea because it’s brewed by placing the tea bags into a large pitcher and then leaving it in the sun for about an hour for a light tea. 3-4 hours for a stronger flavor.

    • @joshuakwan9536
      @joshuakwan9536 4 роки тому +1

      *Me as a bubble tea drinker*
      _sweats nervously_

  • @dehidriranafiga6361
    @dehidriranafiga6361 5 років тому +7

    "Horse plantation"
    COLONIALISM INTESIFIES

  • @konobuzoggu239
    @konobuzoggu239 5 років тому +31

    "horse cavalry"

  • @anheroofmen2317
    @anheroofmen2317 5 років тому +45

    Spiff, you should play the original warcraft 3 next, please.

    • @CyborgT79
      @CyborgT79 5 років тому +1

      There is a exploit were you can build an infinite numbers of walking trees that also throws rocks.

  • @herroberbesserwisser7331
    @herroberbesserwisser7331 5 років тому +63

    Heroes of might and magic please.
    Maybe Heroes of might and magic 5 as it was my childhood.

  • @lvl5goon598
    @lvl5goon598 5 років тому +7

    People who saw the Rome Total War video: I think I've seen this one before.
    New fans from the Skyrim Videos:Nope, completely origonal

  • @kur0shir060
    @kur0shir060 5 років тому +13

    An Heroes of Might and Magic III game breaker would be magnificient. :D

  • @dcavic6157
    @dcavic6157 4 роки тому

    You are now my favorite UA-cam Channel as Im constantly watching your videos day after day haha

  • @theblaqknight
    @theblaqknight 5 років тому +5

    DO KENSHI! I love that game. Also I have never commented on your videos before so I'd just like to say that you make great content and I appreciate the work that clearly goes into it.

  • @trygveplaustrum4634
    @trygveplaustrum4634 5 років тому +93

    *mfw When you're an American but even you can pronounce Chinese names better than Spiff*

    • @luxie8097
      @luxie8097 5 років тому +20

      It made my head go kwang everytime he said kwang

    • @thenightjackal
      @thenightjackal 5 років тому +7

      I fuckin hate it when he purposefully mispronounces names and says the completely wrong number when it's only 2 digits, then he can say really long numbers like 169817637 with no commas in like 2 seconds.

    • @chaosxny5784
      @chaosxny5784 5 років тому

      ikr

    • @EmmyDereest
      @EmmyDereest 5 років тому +1

      @@thenightjackal Why do you think it's purposeful? Do you know how many people have dyslexia? And how many people are assholes and don't want to learn how to pronounce other cultures' names before saying them?

    • @Mr-Nuke.
      @Mr-Nuke. 5 років тому +3

      @@EmmyDereest wait tf i am now a asshole because i dont want to learn how to pronounce some Chinese name

  • @Technature7567
    @Technature7567 5 років тому +6

    "Cow Cow"
    *INNER NERDISM OVER THREE KINGDOMS AUDIBLY INCREASING IN ANGERY*
    Good vid, keep breaking the game.

  • @lukehanna1177
    @lukehanna1177 3 роки тому +1

    I grew up in Taiwan learning to speak Chinese, and your pronunciation of the names is hysterical. I love it! 🤣🤣🤣

  • @jonathaneastman3d
    @jonathaneastman3d 5 років тому

    Love the new Spiff ANIMATIONS! Great addition to your, already, absolutely marvelous channel!

  • @mr.commentator6055
    @mr.commentator6055 5 років тому +8

    Spiffing Brit: Wow, I can't pronounce any of these names.
    Me, who watches OverSimplified:
    *The Expert*

  • @Psychobolic77
    @Psychobolic77 2 роки тому +83

    I don't recall seeing any other UA-camr play as Ma Teng, but that first exploit was quite clever. The second exploit is way too cheesy and absolutely needs to be patched.

    • @availablehage
      @availablehage 2 роки тому +4

      Too bad it's never gonna be done again... They are done with 3k

    • @y4head84
      @y4head84 2 роки тому

      Fuck this game

    • @Krypticobject1
      @Krypticobject1 2 роки тому

      @@availablehage is this exploit still in game?

    • @dragoxk4542
      @dragoxk4542 Рік тому

      @@availablehage aren’t they gonna make a sequel to 3K?

  • @rinhd1977
    @rinhd1977 5 років тому +7

    An empire of horses is a dream finally come true

  • @kamiljarosawski2116
    @kamiljarosawski2116 5 років тому +2

    I'd love to enjoy some yorkshire tea and watch how you exploit Heroes of Might & Magic III

  • @QualQuek2
    @QualQuek2 4 роки тому +6

    When the video starts with "Because these guys are so unique, for some reasons they're infused by the power of Yorkshire tea Gold itself" you know that the shit is gonna be real.

  • @beansowles
    @beansowles 5 років тому +12

    I am proud to announce i am one of the early viewers and and i proudly sponsor Yorkshire Tea to bring you this comment

  • @HendriDamevil
    @HendriDamevil 4 роки тому +4

    when you love this cheese so much you're considering to make a mod to revert this cause it got patched

  • @Tisel37299
    @Tisel37299 5 років тому +5

    Been here since 20k subs. This channel only gets better and better.

  • @deguilemin9333
    @deguilemin9333 5 років тому +1

    I have noticed you have a few Civ 6 videos abound, but no locate-able Civ V games with absolutely no exploits or imperfections. I would love to see that amazingly balanced game be played by you.

  • @gamerz1172
    @gamerz1172 5 років тому +6

    SPiff:Takes the time to gather specific resources and unlock the ability to upgrade them giving him a advantage
    Spiff: Is this an exploit?

    • @Captain-Jinn
      @Captain-Jinn 5 років тому +1

      Also he's on year like 216ish. Which is like, 130 Turns in. I agree it's broken but it's not like right out of the gate you're gonna be exploiting anything.