Dude the thing about an ESFP finally finding an INTP is so funny. I remember this really smart kid back in high school who was the literal embodiment of the INTP stereotype: really really smart (like the whole grade knew it), far-off gaze, a bit physically awkward (jolty, stiff), slow facial reactions, etc. But there was an underlying sense of warmth about him too. We were in a group project and even though he didn't emote much, I felt completely comfortable. There was no awkwardness or "trying to fight each other" kind of vibe. It was just so fucking easy. I feel like the INTP is so low-key and non-judgemental that they would give a lot of space for the ESFP to be themselves, while also being smart enough that the ESFP would respect their judgements on things. During the project, I didn't have to go out of my way to try and reconcile his opinions on what we should do with what I thought was right, which is what usually happens around other people. I just legitimately thought he was actually right. 10/10 would gladly hunt down that kind of person in their cave and drag them out to be my friend lmfao.
I'm an INTP and All my friends and ex boyfriends I've had so far were either ESFPs or INTJs. I've had 2 ESFP ex bfs, 3 female ESFPs friends, and 4 male ESFPs friends and one ESFP close co-worker in my life. - My ESFP co-worker even brought me to her new job with her and made me a position where she could work with me. - After I broke up with my ESFP ex, I've met two INTJs and the conversation part was amazing but I wasn't as happy as before. The energy you know, two introvers together is very down. Comfortable but feels like getting old. Next time if I see someone, it would probably be an ESFP. - They all moaned that they can't contact me easily because I love spending time alone but when we hang out, we make each other's day. - I don't like ESFP celebrities on TV or UA-cam but once you get to know them, they are perfect for INTPs. Of course there are negative fireworks between us but that's life. We should deal with it with wisdom.
I do find I mesh well with ISFJs. I also mesh well with ENFPs, ENFJs and INTJs. I love INTJs because I feel like we ESFPs can bring out the best in them.
I’m an esfp married to an isfj! You were spot on when you said we have very high high and very low lows. We have been married for 12 years now and we have both matured a lot! I can honestly say I really love my marriage. My sister who is my best friend is an infj and we have a great relationship.
I really appreciate your sharing your thoughts and understanding with all of us via youtube. I really enjoy your communication style--not just the wipe board, but your enthusiasm and clearly verbalized thought processes. I am a believer and think God must be smiling when He works in and through your giftedness in communicating and thus being a blessing to others. I am praying He will bring many people to greater maturity through all the time you dedicate to sharing. Thank you for using your gifted communication and thought processes for the betterment of society. We are an ESFP/ISFJ married couple--I am the wife writing via my ISFJ husband's youtube channel to comment since I am not interested in having a youtube channel of my own but do like to comment like this time to time to send my thanks and encouragement to folks who have helped me grow in my understanding.
for every INTJ with an ESFP parent I understand your struggle...best option is to put distance between you. A different city would do, a different country is perfect.
Yeah No not always like that in my case i am entj and brother intj with esfj dad +isfp mom its true thats we may not understand each other but we should always respect and love our parents also going apart wont do anything good to you or parents , my isfp Mom adores my intj esfp sister even if they are different and not how she prefers after i knew abou mbti my relationship with her become way better and she felt understood by my esfj father already but i was the first besides him , Now that you know about that and know you parents well you should treat them as they should be treated thats the right thing to do , not growing apart
My husband is an ESFP and everything you said is so spot on. His brother is an INTP and I can notice that they better each other when they are together, Im an ENTJ, so... :/
Excellent, I married an ISFJ way before I knew about the personality types, together 16 years, woo I got lucky! He definitely completes me. I always wondered why we got along so well.😁
I’m an ESFP and it seems like everywhere I look I’m just finding INFJs and INTJs (we constantly misunderstand each other) and ENFPs (we just exhaust each other, haha!). Is it common for ENFPs and ESFPs to completely exhaust each other by too much intense talking and ideas flying everywhere? Whew. I end up feeling like an introvert that needs to recover from too much socializing.
It may seem silly but as an ESFP, I now understand why my coworker and I get along SO WELL (we sit 5 feet away from each other, all day everyday) and never have conflicts. Turns out she's an ISFJ. We just "get" each other and flow well. Cool!
A little late to the party but thank you for this!!! I appreciate you sticking up for us ESFPs because we AREN'T stupid (ESFP lawyer here). I apparently have had some friendships and work relationships with the bottom four because you described those (bad) interactions to a T. Also, my dad is the person I get along best with in the world and he's an ISFJ, so checks out!
My sister is an MBTI specialist and has gotten our whole family into this. I thought this video was very interesting as it’s the first time I’ve heard that ESFP and INTPs are compatible. I am an ESFP and I dated an INTP for 8 years ( my father and brother are also INTPs ) It was an extremely loving and fulfilling relationship. He really appreciated my humor and light personality and I really appreciated his stable and calm nature as it made me feel secure. We ultimately split because ( from my perspective) we were extremely critical of each other, never really understood each other or saw eye to eye on anything and after a while it was exhausting to try and get him out doing things with me and I guess I got bored. I am now with an ESFJ and I do have to say I can see a major difference in being able to communicate etc. I feel like my ESFJ meets my needs before I even realize I need them! It is refreshing to say the least. I feel like my relationship with the INTP could have worked , but with a lot more patience and understanding of each other (especially the thinking and feeling differences) . My relationship now with the ESFJ is much more natural and seems like it doesn’t take AS much work. Thanks for sharing !!! Great videos ! Oh and I also wanted to say I really appreciated you going into other parts about the ESFP ( not just saying we love to party because I also highly disagree with that stigma attached to us ! )
my guess with aging the parent function is most "needy" for relationship. As INTP I feel like my Ti Si and Fe have developed, but Ne is kinda dreaming rn.
I can resonate with what you say about the incompatibility between ESFPs and NJs. But as an INFJ who has had a friendship with an ESFP for years, I'd like to share something about the positive aspects of our dynamic. Despite the incompatibility, I have learned more through our contrast than I have from any other relationship. Especially when I was younger (18). The most valuable thing she has thought me is to stick up for what I want, to develop a sense of personal sovereignty. I mostly did it by mirroring her, but also by listening to her 'feedback' / to how she perceives me when I don't communicate my needs clearly. It has changed me. Another thing she gives me - that none of my other friends can - is the feeling that I'm not a closet freak. She tells me her craziest fantasies and experiences as if they are the most ordinary thing in in the world, and I'm like, oh, well, it's nothing to be ashamed of then. We never * shock * each other in that sense, which is something we do experience in many other relationships (maybe at this point I should mention that we are two female friends, so our relationship is purely platonic). Partying with her is also the best thing ever. I'm trying to put my finger on why it is better with her than with others, and I think it's because of the level of unpredictability. The lack of understanding we sometimes have of (not for) each other, brings about a sense of mystery that keeps our experiences interesting. When we go out at night, which for me is already exciting in itself, the excitement sort of doubles because of that unpredictability, especially when we meet other people. For example, I love to watch how she interacts with others, because she does it so differently than I do. Going out with her feels like an exploration with no breaks / restraint / shame. With other non-ESXP friends, I sometimes see them becoming uncomfortable / tired / shy, which then also creates a sense of restraint in myself. That also ties in with the fact that we are best together when we do "do" activities: swimming, partying, pooling, playing cards, watching a movie. Through that we bond and then later we can have nice conversations about it, for instance by analyzing the event. But meeting for coffee just for the sake of it, not so much. There is a side of me that she will never see, but then again, she is the only one who brings out the side that so rarely sees the light of day (or night). So, in that sense she has made me a more balanced person. While writing this, a question popped up in my head; I was wondering what the difference is between the dynamic with an Si-dom/-aux and an Se-inferior who, to my sense, is also very receptive to the experience the Se-dom gives them. Does it have to do with receiving (Si) versus mirroring (Se)? I'm not sure how to picture the nuance. Also, if you have advice about how to improve my friendship with my ESFP friend, it is more than welcome. I have watched your other videos and have learned a lot about calling them out while using their Fe critic, so thank you for that.
Finally figured out I'm an esfp, and one of my daughters is an isfj. Our relationship is so beautiful. From the very beginning I felt her loving me just because, and that feels so precious. Being loved for just being myself. Also, whenever we fight, it hurts me so deep. It's funny how a golden pair can provoke both, good and bad feelings so deep 😅
Chase, are you going to do a series on personal growth for each of the types through developing Auxiliary functions? Pleeeese? This is so important....
Brilliant, thank you! I do prefer the smaller white board, however I understand the need for the larger version due to the depth of your video. Keep up the good work!
Well, I have been friends with an ESFP for maaaaaany years.... and there might be more there, much more. Now, I am an Ambivert INTP. I always liked that he was fun and also very smart.
As an ESFP most of my crushes are ENTP and ESTP. I damn love entp. Most of my friends are actually ESFJ/ISFJ/ENTP. My best friend is INTJ/INTP though. I have a classmate who also seems like an ESFP and we hate each other. I start thinking i am actually ENFP cause i am damn selfish...My mom is ISFJ and she is so damn kind and selfless and i am like “Stop being so kind to everyone. I don’t Say being narcissist but still... always put yourself first
Same here LOL I have only been in once before though... with an ISFP. Sadly, she friendzoned me nd even in the friendship, all the issues mentioned by him between ISFP's and INFP's in one of his videos was accurate regarding that relationship. That's why I'm hoping he'll talk more about INFP's and ESFP's. I'm hoping that pairing can stand a good chance. I've certainly grown a lot since then from the ISFP failed friendship. Hopefully, ESFP will be easier if I get with my ESFP crush.
This one ESFP guy I knew really admired/liked me (at least that's what he said). He said he "really admired my stubbornness" and constantly watched me to the point of stalker like behavior. I'm not sure why because I (an INTJ) couldn't take him seriously. I never trusted him or his decisions because I thought he was idiotic. I don't mean to be rude to other ESFPs. I don't know why that esfp was attracted to me and why he would admire someone who didn't have a high opinion of him. I tried to be nice but ultimately he was draining.
I'm an ESFP and my daughter and brother are INTJ and they are 2 of the closest people to me. We've found a way to make it work but sometimes I think I drive my daughter crazy. lol My boyfriend is an ESFJ and I finally feel like, at 42, I met my match.
I'm an INTP woman with a guy pursuing me for the last 3 years. I got him to do the personality test and found his personality type to be ESFP. I'm here to find out whether I should give him a chance or not based on the details of his personality type🤓
Can you do a video on ENTP ESFP romance and include your experience and how it would differ if each of the types had different focuses (like if the ENTP was sub-focused or the esfp was unconscious focused) it would be great for your channel since the viewers will get to know you better and it will help allude to the member only romance compatibility videos You’ve probably already thought of that 😂
Could be an octagram thing?! I also felt like changing character totally after some things messed up my life. Now I'm coming back to who I had been before and again, I'm pretty sure I'm an esfp. i always end up doing some specific esfp things and behaving like one in the end.
I really love your videos and I can't stop watching whenever I'm free or listening to the podcast whenever I'm on the go. Please don't get bored I love your energy lol Thank you for the great informative videos, they're really golden 👍
Hi Chase, I'ma big believer that cognitive functions teach personal growth.... Will you be putting out a series on how each type can grow through each of our functions? Does it matter what what order our functions are? For instance, as an INFJ, does it matter where in the stack Fe and Se are to learn from them? Does an INFJ grow most by developing Fe or Se? Please can you slow down the speed at which you discuss the functions in your videos? I am having a hard time absorbing the material. But I love the material... As I say, this is important stuff for growth.... Keep going! From See it Through. Ha~! (Personally, this is the sort of thing I need to read; do you have transcripts? This stuff is freakin amazing! Why don't you add a button to your website where we cann pay for transcripts of each of your videos? Just a thought. I'd be a buyer, that's for sure. There's so much information here. Pleeeeeease????
transcripts are for only 25% of my vids, the cost was too much but I found an innovation and hired osmeone to help me. For INFJs, its developing the gateway functions: Hero, INferior, Nemesis, Demon is how you master personal growth. I will be doing a season of lectures for these for sure. Thank you for your kind words.
Something’s bugging me with this whole thing... if we’re talking about intimate relationships how is someone going to use their extrovert functions? We’re talking about 1 on 1 interactions which is using introvert functions, right? Wouldn’t then Si connect to Si, Ni to Ni etc? My INTJ gf inspires me a lot as an Ni inferior. Literally showing me the way to go. Both Fi’s keep each other in check. Her Si demon means I save a loooot of money since she doesn’t care about anything fancy I could come up with only wants to do her own stuff which is typically unpretentious yet still refined That said, I can understand that a duality relationship will be tough when other people come around, and the mega extrovert starts to act in their ego whereas the mega introvert is silently judging and hating it (unless they’re in their subconscious! Drink responsibly and loosen up INTJs!)
Lol. I am ESFP but my best friends are INTJ and INFJ and others...I haven't scanned yet, but usually are introverts. But I AM LAUGHING because I cannot see INFJ even in your chart And INTJ according to your theory is one of the least compatible. UPDATE: I am actually ENFP :D my bad :D
Dominika Hlivková as an ESFP i don’t genuinely like other extroverts that much. I am very attracted towards ENTP and ESTP and also have a lot of ESFJ/ENFJ friends. But the point is the more introverted your circle is the more spotlight you have for yourself
I can guess why INTPs have a hard time finding and ending up together with ESFPs who are one of the most social personality types. Maybe they should go outside for once.
Oh dear, ESFP with ISFP for 29 years. Didn't get the memo in time. LOL Great relationship with much freedom and fun. Most importantly, we share the same values.
After watching all the videos on ESFP, I realized that husband treats me like a ISFJ! He scores ISFP on tests, but our partnership is like what you described when interacting with your ex-wife. He's always consistent and trustworthy. Maybe he's ISFJ! He always allows me freedom of choice. Very self sacrificing. Gonna go watch the ISFJ videos!
just realized that the #1 ideal pairing for each type has an exactly inverse list of types for social compatibility.. does this maybe mean anything more? part of a bigger pattern?
I witness the relationship 4 diamonds from steven universe: White diamond (intj), yellow diamond (estj) and blue diamond (infj) wanted to obligate pink diamond (esfp) that led her change her identity to rose quartz and dIdnt give a damn what the white diamond want. 😅she was wiling to make up stories that Pink diamond and Rose Quartz were two different person. Whereas, it was ALL HERSELF ALONG THAT CREATED A DISCORD. 😅😅 Damn that was the most abusive sibling relationship ever. The pink diamond was so lucky that she had her isfj assistant (pearl) to support her choices ups and downs 😅😅but still, I don't like Pink Diamond when her isfj assistant told the WHOLE TRUTH BACKSTORY to Steven P.s.I do love the relationship between blue and yellow diamond. They're compatible 👍
Also, I think the reason Marilyn Monroe learned to narrow her eyes is to get more in touch with her deeper subconscious. The author of the book The High Performance Mind talks about it in terms of EEG readings and calls the technique 'open eyed alpha', in reference to the brainwaves. I read online that she had an IQ of 140. Not sure where the information came from. But she also really liked to read, and was married to Arthur Miller. She seemed really interested in developing her Ni.
Solid lecture, btw. However, I do have a question and I may be jumping ahead since you are just now going through the starter types. So far, we have seen either a hero extroverted function consuming a parent introverted function or an extroverted function consuming an introverted function in a one-to-one match scenario (hero-hero, parent-parent, etc). However, I am curious as to how this dynamic changes when both MBTI types lead with introverted functions. In other words, is there a stronger influence on the hero functions when both parent functions are extroverted functions or is it the same influence in comparison if both parent functions were introverted functions?
TajMarie very perceptive Of you. There is a difference between introversion and extroversion but that difference comes out more in shoulder to shoulder or face to face relationships and less on social compatibility
27:00 Bruh, Im very aware that other people have feelings, I just want them to be more practical about them since feelings are fickle. As for morality, tbh most peoples morality just sucks, so I avoid them - Intj
So you are admitting then that your feelings are fickle? Wait a minute, maybe this is why I always criticize FI users for not actually being authentic. Thank you for publicly proving my point.
23:30 So, if the distance is so great between ESFP and INTJ/ENTJs - appears greater than the other bottom 2, even other ESFPs- why would they not be further down on the list?
Shannon Logue as shallow as the top two are, the bottom two are even more shallow specifically because the Cognitive synchronicity is affected by the pessimistic attitudes of the functions.
C.S. Joseph btw, I haven't forgotten about the Skype coaching session. I've been trying to get back on my routine since my SF trip. You sound like you are going to be busy for a long while, though. Do you recommend scheduling it out in advance now? Or should I revisit the issue with you in a few months?
WHAT DOES RELIGIOUS FANATICISM DO TO WHICH GROUPS AND TO THEIR COMPATIBILITY OR THEIR COMARADERIE ?? WHICH TYPES ARE MOST PRONE TO SUCH ZEALOUS FANATICISM?
H-Ron Hartman any type is able to be influenced by any belief system. It’s just that Si users are not able to break themselves of it as easily as other people.
My brother is an esfp he get along with our older brother intp and also with the first born esfj and our estj mom........and then me ....enfp the least favorite of them all🙂.
To know the differnece between abstract and concrete, could it be like for example,a concrete joke could be a funny story and an abstract type joke would be more made up. Is abstract vs concrete in dealing more with the real world or your mental constructs like fantasy?
I wish you could analyze Marilyn Monroe. Apparently she was super smart; and I think she was an ESFP with a pretty well developed INTJ subconscious. But in the end I think she struggled with being paranoid. Haha, as soon as I wrote that, she said in her interview, 'Not to sound paranoid or something...' ua-cam.com/video/WrbgHj0bAL4/v-deo.html
Is it a coincedence that the best president in modern history was an ESFP? Ronald Reagan! Personality typing never gets more pragmatic and better than ESFP. It is no surprise that WE RULE!!!!!
ESFP’s don’t give a damn about what other people want? False! We very much care about what other people think. As do all performative performer types. We perform because we seek the approval of other people. Think Taylor Swift if you’ve ever actually listened to what she really wants. Regardless of her type, she just wants to be loved and that’s the same with us
I am an ESFP-T and this guy is so insulting to ESFP‘s just because of his experience with his wife. He is so jaded. A lot of the negative criticisms he has not at all apply to me and I don’t think they probably apply to a lot of my fellow ESFPs. We have no problem thinking and we are not dumb or thoughtless or without thought. That’s a real misunderstanding of us and it’s unfortunate that this guy here is propagating that inaccurate belief
This guy obviously has a bit of an avoidant attachment style as well as may be being more of an introvert because he talks a lot about meeting your own needs and that’s very much some thing that an avoidant introverted person talks about. Some needs our best met through other people and not by ourselves.
So according to this guy it's normal for ESFPs to take 7 majors in college ('college'; not technical college or free military college). Also ESFPs might take until they're 30 years old to figure out what they want. This guy is both condescending and completely wrong at the same time. This is further proof that Eric (an ENTP himself) from Talking with Famous People was right when he said this guy is not an ENTP but an ENTJ in denial. What means he doesn't understand the functions at all be cause he doesn't understand himself, so he can't give proper advice. In other videos (INTJ, INFP, even INTP a little), I can see what looks like his inferior Fi bleed out. It seems obvious to me when he goes off in weird Fi rants in the middle of his presentation, and doesn't edit it out (because deep down he still values Fi). Also from this video and others I can see the Te. Worst of all, because he's mistyped himself as an ENTP instead of an ENTJ he thinks and argues that duality relationships don't work, which is complete nonsense. Even in this video his comptability advice is also nonsense; people are better off browsing the socionics website for better info.
Im an INFJ, so I'm looking forward to it, too. However, as a pattern-finder, I am predicting who would be the type with the highest compatibility for INFJ by what you have been teaching: ENFP. Am I right? Don't worry. I'll wait patiently. I'm also learning in these other videos whenever INFJ is in either the top 4 or bottom 4 slots.
Dude the thing about an ESFP finally finding an INTP is so funny. I remember this really smart kid back in high school who was the literal embodiment of the INTP stereotype: really really smart (like the whole grade knew it), far-off gaze, a bit physically awkward (jolty, stiff), slow facial reactions, etc. But there was an underlying sense of warmth about him too. We were in a group project and even though he didn't emote much, I felt completely comfortable.
There was no awkwardness or "trying to fight each other" kind of vibe. It was just so fucking easy. I feel like the INTP is so low-key and non-judgemental that they would give a lot of space for the ESFP to be themselves, while also being smart enough that the ESFP would respect their judgements on things. During the project, I didn't have to go out of my way to try and reconcile his opinions on what we should do with what I thought was right, which is what usually happens around other people. I just legitimately thought he was actually right. 10/10 would gladly hunt down that kind of person in their cave and drag them out to be my friend lmfao.
I'm an INTP and All my friends and ex boyfriends I've had so far were either ESFPs or INTJs. I've had 2 ESFP ex bfs, 3 female ESFPs friends, and 4 male ESFPs friends and one ESFP close co-worker in my life.
- My ESFP co-worker even brought me to her new job with her and made me a position where she could work with me.
- After I broke up with my ESFP ex, I've met two INTJs and the conversation part was amazing but I wasn't as happy as before. The energy you know, two introvers together is very down. Comfortable but feels like getting old. Next time if I see someone, it would probably be an ESFP.
- They all moaned that they can't contact me easily because I love spending time alone but when we hang out, we make each other's day.
- I don't like ESFP celebrities on TV or UA-cam but once you get to know them, they are perfect for INTPs. Of course there are negative fireworks between us but that's life. We should deal with it with wisdom.
I do find I mesh well with ISFJs. I also mesh well with ENFPs, ENFJs and INTJs. I love INTJs because I feel like we ESFPs can bring out the best in them.
THANK YOU! can not wait for the ESFP romantic/ sexual compatibility video.
Has this come out yet?
I’m an esfp married to an isfj! You were spot on when you said we have very high high and very low lows. We have been married for 12 years now and we have both matured a lot! I can honestly say I really love my marriage.
My sister who is my best friend is an infj and we have a great relationship.
I really appreciate your sharing your thoughts and understanding with all of us via youtube. I really enjoy your communication style--not just the wipe board, but your enthusiasm and clearly verbalized thought processes. I am a believer and think God must be smiling when He works in and through your giftedness in communicating and thus being a blessing to others. I am praying He will bring many people to greater maturity through all the time you dedicate to sharing. Thank you for using your gifted communication and thought processes for the betterment of society. We are an ESFP/ISFJ married couple--I am the wife writing via my ISFJ husband's youtube channel to comment since I am not interested in having a youtube channel of my own but do like to comment like this time to time to send my thanks and encouragement to folks who have helped me grow in my understanding.
you are most welcome
for every INTJ with an ESFP parent I understand your struggle...best option is to put distance between you. A different city would do, a different country is perfect.
Dr Perfect i am ESFP and my best friend seems intj(INTP is another option). We’re so damn different we even run in different circles yet we get along
Yeah No not always like that in my case i am entj and brother intj with esfj dad +isfp mom its true thats we may not understand each other but we should always respect and love our parents also going apart wont do anything good to you or parents , my isfp Mom adores my intj esfp sister even if they are different and not how she prefers after i knew abou mbti my relationship with her become way better and she felt understood by my esfj father already but i was the first besides him , Now that you know about that and know you parents well you should treat them as they should be treated thats the right thing to do , not growing apart
I’m an ESFP who does give a damn about what others want. But I also don’t OBSESS over that. Maybe that’s a more accurate portrayal of us.
My husband is an ESFP and everything you said is so spot on. His brother is an INTP and I can notice that they better each other when they are together, Im an ENTJ, so... :/
Excellent, I married an ISFJ way before I knew about the personality types, together 16 years, woo I got lucky! He definitely completes me. I always wondered why we got along so well.😁
I did notice. You were missed. Thanks for your informative videos.
I’m an ESFP and it seems like everywhere I look I’m just finding INFJs and INTJs (we constantly misunderstand each other) and ENFPs (we just exhaust each other, haha!). Is it common for ENFPs and ESFPs to completely exhaust each other by too much intense talking and ideas flying everywhere? Whew. I end up feeling like an introvert that needs to recover from too much socializing.
It may seem silly but as an ESFP, I now understand why my coworker and I get along SO WELL (we sit 5 feet away from each other, all day everyday) and never have conflicts. Turns out she's an ISFJ. We just "get" each other and flow well. Cool!
ESFP + INTP 22:00
A little late to the party but thank you for this!!! I appreciate you sticking up for us ESFPs because we AREN'T stupid (ESFP lawyer here). I apparently have had some friendships and work relationships with the bottom four because you described those (bad) interactions to a T. Also, my dad is the person I get along best with in the world and he's an ISFJ, so checks out!
My sister is an MBTI specialist and has gotten our whole family into this. I thought this video was very interesting as it’s the first time I’ve heard that ESFP and INTPs are compatible. I am an ESFP and I dated an INTP for 8 years ( my father and brother are also INTPs ) It was an extremely loving and fulfilling relationship. He really appreciated my humor and light personality and I really appreciated his stable and calm nature as it made me feel secure. We ultimately split because ( from my perspective) we were extremely critical of each other, never really understood each other or saw eye to eye on anything and after a while it was exhausting to try and get him out doing things with me and I guess I got bored. I am now with an ESFJ and I do have to say I can see a major difference in being able to communicate etc. I feel like my ESFJ meets my needs before I even realize I need them! It is refreshing to say the least. I feel like my relationship with the INTP could have worked , but with a lot more patience and understanding of each other (especially the thinking and feeling differences) . My relationship now with the ESFJ is much more natural and seems like it doesn’t take AS much work.
Thanks for sharing !!! Great videos !
Oh and I also wanted to say I really appreciated you going into other parts about the ESFP ( not just saying we love to party because I also highly disagree with that stigma attached to us ! )
you are most welcome
my guess with aging the parent function is most "needy" for relationship. As INTP I feel like my Ti Si and Fe have developed, but Ne is kinda dreaming rn.
I'm an INTP and my partner is an EFSP we've been experiencing the positive fireworks so far. so we're doing great I guess.
howwwwwwww
I can resonate with what you say about the incompatibility between ESFPs and NJs. But as an INFJ who has had a friendship with an ESFP for years, I'd like to share something about the positive aspects of our dynamic.
Despite the incompatibility, I have learned more through our contrast than I have from any other relationship. Especially when I was younger (18). The most valuable thing she has thought me is to stick up for what I want, to develop a sense of personal sovereignty. I mostly did it by mirroring her, but also by listening to her 'feedback' / to how she perceives me when I don't communicate my needs clearly. It has changed me.
Another thing she gives me - that none of my other friends can - is the feeling that I'm not a closet freak. She tells me her craziest fantasies and experiences as if they are the most ordinary thing in in the world, and I'm like, oh, well, it's nothing to be ashamed of then. We never * shock * each other in that sense, which is something we do experience in many other relationships (maybe at this point I should mention that we are two female friends, so our relationship is purely platonic).
Partying with her is also the best thing ever. I'm trying to put my finger on why it is better with her than with others, and I think it's because of the level of unpredictability. The lack of understanding we sometimes have of (not for) each other, brings about a sense of mystery that keeps our experiences interesting. When we go out at night, which for me is already exciting in itself, the excitement sort of doubles because of that unpredictability, especially when we meet other people. For example, I love to watch how she interacts with others, because she does it so differently than I do. Going out with her feels like an exploration with no breaks / restraint / shame. With other non-ESXP friends, I sometimes see them becoming uncomfortable / tired / shy, which then also creates a sense of restraint in myself.
That also ties in with the fact that we are best together when we do "do" activities: swimming, partying, pooling, playing cards, watching a movie. Through that we bond and then later we can have nice conversations about it, for instance by analyzing the event. But meeting for coffee just for the sake of it, not so much.
There is a side of me that she will never see, but then again, she is the only one who brings out the side that so rarely sees the light of day (or night). So, in that sense she has made me a more balanced person.
While writing this, a question popped up in my head; I was wondering what the difference is between the dynamic with an Si-dom/-aux and an Se-inferior who, to my sense, is also very receptive to the experience the Se-dom gives them. Does it have to do with receiving (Si) versus mirroring (Se)? I'm not sure how to picture the nuance.
Also, if you have advice about how to improve my friendship with my ESFP friend, it is more than welcome. I have watched your other videos and have learned a lot about calling them out while using their Fe critic, so thank you for that.
ESFPs are insanely afraid, try to curb their fear. State to them that you will not think less of them regardless of what you say.
Thank you, I see what you mean. Interesting how blunt and yet how sensitive they are in that regard.
my esfp friend literally said to me, "why would I be friends with someone similar to me? I already know myself" :o
Finally figured out I'm an esfp, and one of my daughters is an isfj. Our relationship is so beautiful. From the very beginning I felt her loving me just because, and that feels so precious. Being loved for just being myself. Also, whenever we fight, it hurts me so deep. It's funny how a golden pair can provoke both, good and bad feelings so deep 😅
Chase, are you going to do a series on personal growth for each of the types through developing Auxiliary functions? Pleeeese? This is so important....
Yes, I will, I promise!
Brilliant, thank you!
I do prefer the smaller white board, however I understand the need for the larger version due to the depth of your video. Keep up the good work!
David Notte awesome, ty sir
Now i know why me(entj girl) always feels that esfp are weird🤣, but I still can be friends with him
Well, I have been friends with an ESFP for maaaaaany years.... and there might be more there, much more. Now, I am an Ambivert INTP. I always liked that he was fun and also very smart.
As an ESFP most of my crushes are ENTP and ESTP. I damn love entp. Most of my friends are actually ESFJ/ISFJ/ENTP. My best friend is INTJ/INTP though. I have a classmate who also seems like an ESFP and we hate each other. I start thinking i am actually ENFP cause i am damn selfish...My mom is ISFJ and she is so damn kind and selfless and i am like “Stop being so kind to everyone. I don’t Say being narcissist but still... always put yourself first
INFP male with an ESFP female crush...
So I'm 'adequate' in her eyes. Hmm... 😕
Same here LOL I have only been in once before though... with an ISFP. Sadly, she friendzoned me nd even in the friendship, all the issues mentioned by him between ISFP's and INFP's in one of his videos was accurate regarding that relationship. That's why I'm hoping he'll talk more about INFP's and ESFP's. I'm hoping that pairing can stand a good chance. I've certainly grown a lot since then from the ISFP failed friendship. Hopefully, ESFP will be easier if I get with my ESFP crush.
This one ESFP guy I knew really admired/liked me (at least that's what he said). He said he "really admired my stubbornness" and constantly watched me to the point of stalker like behavior. I'm not sure why because I (an INTJ) couldn't take him seriously. I never trusted him or his decisions because I thought he was idiotic. I don't mean to be rude to other ESFPs. I don't know why that esfp was attracted to me and why he would admire someone who didn't have a high opinion of him. I tried to be nice but ultimately he was draining.
I love camaraderie and compatibility
I'm an ESFP and my daughter and brother are INTJ and they are 2 of the closest people to me. We've found a way to make it work but sometimes I think I drive my daughter crazy. lol My boyfriend is an ESFJ and I finally feel like, at 42, I met my match.
I'm an INTP woman with a guy pursuing me for the last 3 years. I got him to do the personality test and found his personality type to be ESFP. I'm here to find out whether I should give him a chance or not based on the details of his personality type🤓
Can you do a video on ENTP ESFP romance and include your experience and how it would differ if each of the types had different focuses (like if the ENTP was sub-focused or the esfp was unconscious focused) it would be great for your channel since the viewers will get to know you better and it will help allude to the member only romance compatibility videos
You’ve probably already thought of that 😂
sure
Before I went into the workforce, I was an ISFJ. Now almost 2 years working, I'm an ESFP. Is that possible?
Could be an octagram thing?!
I also felt like changing character totally after some things messed up my life. Now I'm coming back to who I had been before and again, I'm pretty sure I'm an esfp. i always end up doing some specific esfp things and behaving like one in the end.
I really love your videos and I can't stop watching whenever I'm free or listening to the podcast whenever I'm on the go. Please don't get bored I love your energy lol
Thank you for the great informative videos, they're really golden 👍
Yosra El-sheikh I don’t intend to, this is the beginning of my deepest gift to the world
Can't be more proud to walk along this journey :)
Kudos and good luck.
I'm an ESFP and my husband is an INTP and my BFF is an ENTJ :)
Hi Chase, I'ma big believer that cognitive functions teach personal growth.... Will you be putting out a series on how each type can grow through each of our functions? Does it matter what what order our functions are? For instance, as an INFJ, does it matter where in the stack Fe and Se are to learn from them? Does an INFJ grow most by developing Fe or Se? Please can you slow down the speed at which you discuss the functions in your videos? I am having a hard time absorbing the material. But I love the material... As I say, this is important stuff for growth.... Keep going! From See it Through. Ha~! (Personally, this is the sort of thing I need to read; do you have transcripts? This stuff is freakin amazing! Why don't you add a button to your website where we cann pay for transcripts of each of your videos? Just a thought. I'd be a buyer, that's for sure. There's so much information here. Pleeeeeease????
transcripts are for only 25% of my vids, the cost was too much but I found an innovation and hired osmeone to help me. For INFJs, its developing the gateway functions: Hero, INferior, Nemesis, Demon is how you master personal growth. I will be doing a season of lectures for these for sure. Thank you for your kind words.
Something’s bugging me with this whole thing... if we’re talking about intimate relationships how is someone going to use their extrovert functions? We’re talking about 1 on 1 interactions which is using introvert functions, right? Wouldn’t then Si connect to Si, Ni to Ni etc? My INTJ gf inspires me a lot as an Ni inferior. Literally showing me the way to go. Both Fi’s keep each other in check. Her Si demon means I save a loooot of money since she doesn’t care about anything fancy I could come up with only wants to do her own stuff which is typically unpretentious yet still refined
That said, I can understand that a duality relationship will be tough when other people come around, and the mega extrovert starts to act in their ego whereas the mega introvert is silently judging and hating it (unless they’re in their subconscious! Drink responsibly and loosen up INTJs!)
Lol. I am ESFP but my best friends are INTJ and INFJ and others...I haven't scanned yet, but usually are introverts. But I AM LAUGHING because I cannot see INFJ even in your chart And INTJ according to your theory is one of the least compatible.
UPDATE: I am actually ENFP :D my bad :D
lol, I'm an ESFP and have an INFJ sister.
Dominika Hlivková as an ESFP i don’t genuinely like other extroverts that much. I am very attracted towards ENTP and ESTP and also have a lot of ESFJ/ENFJ friends. But the point is the more introverted your circle is the more spotlight you have for yourself
In socionics, those have the highest compatibility🙃
ESFP here 😁
I can guess why INTPs have a hard time finding and ending up together with ESFPs who are one of the most social personality types. Maybe they should go outside for once.
My brother is an esfp, I’m an isfp and YES our comradery is so high but oh my god!!!!!,, he upsets me and I don’t think we’re compatible
i’m esfp and my mom is an isfj!
Oh dear, ESFP with ISFP for 29 years. Didn't get the memo in time. LOL Great relationship with much freedom and fun. Most importantly, we share the same values.
After watching all the videos on ESFP, I realized that husband treats me like a ISFJ! He scores ISFP on tests, but our partnership is like what you described when interacting with your ex-wife. He's always consistent and trustworthy. Maybe he's ISFJ! He always allows me freedom of choice. Very self sacrificing. Gonna go watch the ISFJ videos!
just realized that the #1 ideal pairing for each type has an exactly inverse list of types for social compatibility.. does this maybe mean anything more? part of a bigger pattern?
there are multiple ways to look at it.
I witness the relationship 4 diamonds from steven universe:
White diamond (intj), yellow diamond (estj) and blue diamond (infj) wanted to obligate pink diamond (esfp) that led her change her identity to rose quartz and dIdnt give a damn what the white diamond want. 😅she was wiling to make up stories that Pink diamond and Rose Quartz were two different person. Whereas, it was ALL HERSELF ALONG THAT CREATED A DISCORD. 😅😅
Damn that was the most abusive sibling relationship ever. The pink diamond was so lucky that she had her isfj assistant (pearl) to support her choices ups and downs 😅😅but still, I don't like Pink Diamond when her isfj assistant told the WHOLE TRUTH BACKSTORY to Steven
P.s.I do love the relationship between blue and yellow diamond. They're compatible 👍
Also, I think the reason Marilyn Monroe learned to narrow her eyes is to get more in touch with her deeper subconscious. The author of the book The High Performance Mind talks about it in terms of EEG readings and calls the technique 'open eyed alpha', in reference to the brainwaves. I read online that she had an IQ of 140. Not sure where the information came from. But she also really liked to read, and was married to Arthur Miller. She seemed really interested in developing her Ni.
Solid lecture, btw. However, I do have a question and I may be jumping ahead since you are just now going through the starter types. So far, we have seen either a hero extroverted function consuming a parent introverted function or an extroverted function consuming an introverted function in a one-to-one match scenario (hero-hero, parent-parent, etc). However, I am curious as to how this dynamic changes when both MBTI types lead with introverted functions. In other words, is there a stronger influence on the hero functions when both parent functions are extroverted functions or is it the same influence in comparison if both parent functions were introverted functions?
TajMarie very perceptive Of you. There is a difference between introversion and extroversion but that difference comes out more in shoulder to shoulder or face to face relationships and less on social compatibility
27:00 Bruh, Im very aware that other people have feelings, I just want them to be more practical about them since feelings are fickle. As for morality, tbh most peoples morality just sucks, so I avoid them - Intj
So you are admitting then that your feelings are fickle? Wait a minute, maybe this is why I always criticize FI users for not actually being authentic. Thank you for publicly proving my point.
@@CSJoseph Everyone's feelings are fickle 😂
It’s sucks to never know what you want. 🧐😩
Also I’m an ESFP married to an INTP 🤷♀️😍
We do not freak out about the future just because we are asked what we want to be when we grow up.
I thought you were an ESTP?
@@TaxingIsThieving I got ENFP then ESFP and ESFP is accurate when I compared both
23:30 So, if the distance is so great between ESFP and INTJ/ENTJs - appears greater than the other bottom 2, even other ESFPs- why would they not be further down on the list?
Shannon Logue the reason is primary vs, secondary or optimism vs. pessimistic
Shannon Logue as shallow as the top two are, the bottom two are even more shallow specifically because the Cognitive synchronicity is affected by the pessimistic attitudes of the functions.
C.S. Joseph btw, I haven't forgotten about the Skype coaching session. I've been trying to get back on my routine since my SF trip. You sound like you are going to be busy for a long while, though. Do you recommend scheduling it out in advance now? Or should I revisit the issue with you in a few months?
Captain American and Superman are ISFJ. You described them well when you said they can take the hits and take punishment.
WHAT DOES RELIGIOUS FANATICISM DO TO WHICH GROUPS AND TO THEIR COMPATIBILITY OR THEIR COMARADERIE ?? WHICH TYPES ARE MOST PRONE TO SUCH ZEALOUS FANATICISM?
H-Ron Hartman any type is able to be influenced by any belief system. It’s just that Si users are not able to break themselves of it as easily as other people.
Good question
My brother is an esfp he get along with our older brother intp and also with the first born esfj and our estj mom........and then me ....enfp the least favorite of them all🙂.
Ouch
To know the differnece between abstract and concrete, could it be like for example,a concrete joke could be a funny story and an abstract type joke would be more made up. Is abstract vs concrete in dealing more with the real world or your mental constructs like fantasy?
yeah sort of
I wish you could analyze Marilyn Monroe. Apparently she was super smart; and I think she was an ESFP with a pretty well developed INTJ subconscious. But in the end I think she struggled with being paranoid. Haha, as soon as I wrote that, she said in her interview, 'Not to sound paranoid or something...' ua-cam.com/video/WrbgHj0bAL4/v-deo.html
Essentials ✨
whats the difference between camaraderie and compatibility though?
Funny enough, that's the title of the video that answers that.
ua-cam.com/video/OcV0HskbAgA/v-deo.html
I think SP should be switched with NJ on this board
Why I get along well with other ESFPs? (I'm ESFP though)
Camaraderie. ua-cam.com/video/OcV0HskbAgA/v-deo.html
Is it a coincedence that the best president in modern history was an ESFP? Ronald Reagan! Personality typing never gets more pragmatic and better than ESFP. It is no surprise that WE RULE!!!!!
ESFP’s don’t give a damn about what other people want? False! We very much care about what other people think. As do all performative performer types. We perform because we seek the approval of other people. Think Taylor Swift if you’ve ever actually listened to what she really wants. Regardless of her type, she just wants to be loved and that’s the same with us
I am an ESFP-T and this guy is so insulting to ESFP‘s just because of his experience with his wife. He is so jaded. A lot of the negative criticisms he has not at all apply to me and I don’t think they probably apply to a lot of my fellow ESFPs. We have no problem thinking and we are not dumb or thoughtless or without thought. That’s a real misunderstanding of us and it’s unfortunate that this guy here is propagating that inaccurate belief
Hahaha, your Te critic is showing 29:32
I'm trying so hard to be friends with this Esfp . It is so hard ;-; aaaa
(Infj btw)
Pls tell me how this will destroy me
run away
This guy obviously has a bit of an avoidant attachment style as well as may be being more of an introvert because he talks a lot about meeting your own needs and that’s very much some thing that an avoidant introverted person talks about. Some needs our best met through other people and not by ourselves.
I would hope to be avoidant so I could avoid how stupid society is
Nice haircut
Sydney Chuke thanks lol
So according to this guy it's normal for ESFPs to take 7 majors in college ('college'; not technical college or free military college). Also ESFPs might take until they're 30 years old to figure out what they want. This guy is both condescending and completely wrong at the same time.
This is further proof that Eric (an ENTP himself) from Talking with Famous People was right when he said this guy is not an ENTP but an ENTJ in denial. What means he doesn't understand the functions at all be cause he doesn't understand himself, so he can't give proper advice.
In other videos (INTJ, INFP, even INTP a little), I can see what looks like his inferior Fi bleed out. It seems obvious to me when he goes off in weird Fi rants in the middle of his presentation, and doesn't edit it out (because deep down he still values Fi). Also from this video and others I can see the Te. Worst of all, because he's mistyped himself as an ENTP instead of an ENTJ he thinks and argues that duality relationships don't work, which is complete nonsense. Even in this video his comptability advice is also nonsense; people are better off browsing the socionics website for better info.
No.
That is te critic since he is criticizing the thoughts of other people
Could you do INFJ plz? :D
Beau yessir it’s coming
Yay! Love your videos. I appreciate your new take on a lot of these ideas. Socionics F'd me up lol
Beau yeah me too
Im an INFJ, so I'm looking forward to it, too. However, as a pattern-finder, I am predicting who would be the type with the highest compatibility for INFJ by what you have been teaching: ENFP. Am I right? Don't worry. I'll wait patiently.
I'm also learning in these other videos whenever INFJ is in either the top 4 or bottom 4 slots.
He’s going to say ENFP, INFP, ESTJ, and ISTJ lol I am just curious more about the details, but also the order of the other types!
WHAT TYPE IS DONALD J TRUMP ??
ESTP-T is my guess ????????????????
He has stated many times before that he thinks that Trump is an ENTJ. What his video on ENTJs to learn more.
He’s ESTP for sure