Jordan Peterson - How to Really LISTEN to Someone
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- Опубліковано 20 вер 2024
- original source: • 2017 Personality 10: H...
Psychology professor and clinical psychologist Dr. Jordan B. Peterson explains the proper mindset forhaving a meaningful conversation with someone and the therapeutic effect of telling the truth.
Dr. Peterson's new book is available for pre-order:
12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos: amzn.to/2yvJf9L
If you want to support Dr. Peterson, here is his Patreon:
/ jordanbpeterson
Check out Jordan Peterson's Self Authoring Program, a powerful tool to sort yourself out:
bit.ly/selfAuth (Official affiliate link for Bite-sized Philosophy)
This man is changing my life, I'm reading, treating my coworkers better, treating myself better. I don't know if you read these Mr. Peterson but from the bottom of my heart thank you.
This isn't his UA-cam Channel, comment on Jordan Peterson's channel if you want him to see your comment. He allows random people to post clips bc he's cool like that.
you have to know that he knows how grateful people are, hes received many letters and such, ive seen interviews where hes gotten teary eyed thinking about the people who have thanked him, you are the type who is being refered. its good you find help out of petersons work, its the same case for me.
PROFESSOR Peterson, not just Mr.
2nded
Joseph Santoy awesome stuff there man. I admit it’s very fucking hard to change the way I’ve been for my short 29 years on this earth, but continuing to listen to him and truly trying to implement the things he says does help. He’s basically the only voice today calling for personal responsibility and I love it. Most of the things that will happen to us are directly connected to the choices we make, the actions we take. Keep up the good work.
I have never heard a class of students clap after a lecture was finished. He is truly an astonishing speaker.
man! i can't see you
I've only ever seen that at an MIT physics lecture. The professor is a world class teacher and researcher. Goes to show the enormous stature of JP.
PRITAM MISHRA , Who the heck ya talkin to?
Asher schmidt you almost whooshed me.
Donk , dang, so close
I think most fans of Peterson's want to be better persons and that's why we like listening his videos.
and watching his audios
We all want to be happier. And happier for reals -no avoiding, distracting, seeking temporal sensations. A beautiful common goal ☺
And that is why leftists hate them
Well I want to win an argument without being a jerk that is why i want to learn from him
@@samelsby-hartman4593 I've become a Liberal-Libertarian since listening to JP, where's my representation? The liberal politicians have all ran to the left wall and I am just stuck in the middle :/
Quite ironic. Halfway through this video, I realised that I wasn't listening
To be fair, it's not easy to really listen closely to Dr. Peterson. I go over the lectures multiple times and often scratch my head why I have missed so much the last time I listened to it. He makes it easy to get the general idea of what he is saying, but he packs a lot of knowledge into his sentences.
Yeah. It's true. I know that feeling way to well, every single sentence is so profound it's unbeliveable
He just goes all way around in a short span of time. There's lectures he talks about 5 different subjects (although connected to each other in some way) in less than 3 minutes.
Me too, pal.
While I work, I usually have one ear bud on and something light-hearted in the background. But apparently UA-cam decided to put something from my subscription list next instead of similar videos as the previous video. I opened this tab, paused the video (at 5:44) since I had no idea what JBP was talking about and checked the title. Made me smile. Have to check this when I get home. But for now, back to nonsense so I can concentrate on my work.
How many college lectures are applauded when they conclude, rather than the students being relieved it's over?
I hope it was the case for me lol It would be quite wonderful if you could just attend one if his lectures irl and just enjoy the moment thoroughly
I've always spawned a huge poop so I'm toasted to dip.
@@jamesbra4410 want some lettuce with that?
I feel like the channel 4 news lady needed to hear this before interviewing peterson
I am Nerdette well said
Weirdly enough, her acting inappropriately (in my opinion) made the interview better. Dr. Peterson shines when he fights verbally, peacefully, calmy and has his arguments together like no other. I think this is one of the bigger reasons why so many people are backing him that many overlook: We need someone who can fight these battles in the public and win them gracefully.
Link to the Channel 4 interview: ua-cam.com/video/aMcjxSThD54/v-deo.html
EDIT: I used the word win and maybe it's ironic in context of this video, because a conversation should not be about winning, but part of why I think she was overstepping her boundaries is that this could have been easily a career destroying interview for someone less verbally competent. I think she was attempting to make him look bad and/or stupid instead of asking hard questions. Even if you disagree with your guest you have to get the balance right or it becomes just an attack on his character. Glad it backfired!
I can't tell, because channel 4 blocked the 191L video of Peterson explaining free speech on copyright grounds.
There's a metaphor in here somewhere.
She was so bad... Like having a conversation with an angry hungry child
That interview reminded me of when a 5 year old child just continually asks stupid and basic questions, and you just keep being nice and polite and answering them all because you don't want to upset them and you know that they don't understand the world yet.
When you're arguing with someone, it's difficult to get your opposition to listen to you because all they're planning is to impose their worldview onto you. A lot of the time, the emphasis is on winning the argument rather than reaching a consensus or finding the truth.
Ironically, the approach that Jordan Describes is actually one of the best ways to win an argument.
Don't straw man your opponents. Steel man them. You might learn something, and if you don't learn something at least they will.
Razear
Sounds like congress...
1) This is a powerful tool, not so much as to just "win" an argument but to also tone down the discourse and reestablish communication between different parties. I have been witness/participant to some pretty loud discussions were both people were trying to make the same point. But they got so caught up in triumphing over the other, that they couldn't see it. 2) Some people keep things bottled up to the point that they can't hold it in any long and when things do finally come out that there is such force that they are shouting or presumed to be in an antagonistic manor. This exercise would be great getting to the bottom of some of these outburst and find out the true root causes.
Agreed, I catch myself doing this from time to time.
Just don't argue with them. Any opposing thoughts will come off as arguing. A person who argues to be right just for the sake of being right has a difficulty disassociating their identity with certain beliefs. Those beliefs are a part of them, and when you oppose those beliefs, you oppose them. If they seem to be really passionate about their stance, be cautious when touching base on opposing views as there can be some discomfort.
Sometimes it's not time to change someone's views, and you can't force them to change until the time is right. Any attempt at forcing view changes despite their unwilling desire to change is counterproductive. That's why listening is a highly useful skill to have. By listening to people and their opposing views, you can determine their trigger points and more support for your thesis. When people are triggered, they stop listening. When you suspect that triggers are inevitable, save the conversation for another time. If you can approach the conversation in a way that doesn't seem hostile to the opposition, they may draw the same conclusion themselves. Instead of the conversation determining the person with the right stance, the conversation determines that you both are trying to accomplish the same goal.
If there is no possibility of a common goal, RUN!!!
"If you're having a conversation with someone and it's dull, it's because you're stupid! You're not listening to them. They are weird." Always pays to listen to Dr Peterson.
I have long suffered with self-doubt and yet I've always been told I'm excellent at listening. After watching this video I finally have confirmation - I am EXCELLENT at listening. I've been doing this my whole life, " . . . so are you saying that [consolidate and fortify speaker's position]?" They reply, "YES! That's exactly it!" And then I challenge them or celebrate their point as appropriate. I can finally have some confidence in myself. Thank you.
You're like the angelic, polar opposite to Cathy Newman.
Aqua Fyre. Thanks, man, that's great advice.
Aqua Fyre. Holy shit, dude, I should commision you to be my mentor. I'm not blowing smoke, either, I've just copied and pasted your comments into my journal. :)
Thanks again, man, seriously. I've just cleaned the shit out of my house. Hit the gym, and had a productive day. My gut says it's time to take some sincere decompression time. Something I am fucking terrible at. Because I haven't learned how to sit with the internal compass.
But that can change. I want it to. And I can trust that, although I'll be clumsy at first, I can get better at listening to what my gut tells me to do. All the best.
Thagros my best friend is a great listener I'm gonna be a better friend from now on
Wow, it's so impressive and beautiful to see "the other side" of the UA-cam Comment Section as well, where people are really listening annd helping to each other instead of tearing themselves apart.
That was really inspiring. Thank you both!
And Thagros I wish you all the best for listening to your inner voice.
There's a bloody good reason why this man is so popular , talks more sense than anyone
Where was this guy when I was in college ?!? This lecture alone could help so many people
*clicks on this video*
*goes to comment section straight away*
I love how positive Peterson's comment sections are. It's a nice change to see.
Reading the comment section is a great way to practice your listening skills! People write and you read their thoughts and they help you create your own (:
Everyone watching Peterson videos is already an above average listener or we are actively striving to improve on this and many other personal/social traits.
Holy shit. I can't wait for Tuesday.
How was Tuesday?
@@shadowknight743 9:51
Today is your lucky day!
do you know if there's a video regarding his continuation of this lecture?
Hahahahaha best
This whole concept is really so sweet. When you watch him teach you really get a sense for his humanity it’s pretty amazing.
It would be a privilege to study under Dr Peterson. He is without a doubt one of the great minds of our time.
"So what you're saying is deaf people are stupid." - Cathy Newman
Player Of Games y🤣🤣🤣
The lobsters were right all along!
hihihihihihi
And dumb people are smart.
Only if you are willfully blind!
We are so damn lucky to have access to his lectures online for free
if you ever get to mediate a dispute, you can use what’s called the “talking stick” diplomacy. I learned it from the book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Basically, the one holding the “talking stick” gets to express themselves, while the other party listens. The listener has to demonstrate their understanding by restating the points of the speaker. if the stick holder is satisfied with the response - she can relinquish the stick and then become the listener.
While in the subject of listening, just try and bail out while you can when you spot a narcissist. They have no desire to make you a better person out of the monologue (not a conversation). Coffee and launch breaks are their territory, so try siting at a different table when you detect one. You're gonna notice they will actually move on to someone else or somewhere else, but never stop talking. You're just an audience.
Alex Tigre and the borderline too
Who says they're a narcissist? Maybe they're just a bad listener, and there are more reasons than one to be a bad listener. For example people with autism often start out to be bad listeners.
One of the traps I fell for was that I focused on shortterm gratification and not what was meaningful. The gratification being the winning of an argument and therefore thinking better of myself. The moment someone started listening I just started firing away, because I was unused to someone listening and I wanted to convince that person that my voice held merit.
To think of someone as narcissistic for that observation alone is too simplistic.
This man is a genius. Priceless
Aqua Fyre I hope you realise that his level of thinking requires immense patience and depth of perception. These skills require significant intellect, his understanding of psychology in general is unparalleled and genius-level. His use of basing his ideas in science and primarily the process of evolution shows that he has skills and knowledge of those fields, meaning he has quite an expansive knowledge on multiple subjects. A PhD from Harvard in clinical psychology ain't bad either.
Me an hour ago: I will stop procrastinating, once and for all!
UA-cam notification pops up: Oh hey, a new Jordan Peterson vid. Nice!
Drew Eldritch Dres The struggle is real my friend. Lol
Have you considered turning off notifications?
His videos will make you stop procastinating.
I'm sure he has a video on that lol
Ironic huh?
The beauty of his lectures is in his brilliance to get one to understand what we know is right, to solidify in root ways to see a topic or idea.
Truly one of the best orators of our time.
Just truly be in the now listening to the person with the plan of the future being better from it. A great message.
His 'experiment' at the end of this video is the strategy i use in my 11th grade English classroom during class discussions. before kids can respond with their own thoughts, they have to restate their classmate's thoughts in their own words. This is one of the most important skills I have to teach and one of the hardest for the kids to learn.
Jordan, great perspective as always! I recently confronted the degree to which I don’t listen. What is amazing is that sometimes I can repeat back the exact words someone told me but I am completely missing what they are really trying to communicate under those words. In my life I am going to start taking on the challenge of putting myself in the other’s shoes and accurately recreating their ideas with their agreement that my interpretation is accurate before sharing what I have to say.
Peterson is absolutely at his best when in a lecture room.
I've noticed this too. People don't want to listen to what you have to say, they just want to win and get their two cents in. It's a really good way to completely shut down a conversation. It's interesting what he said about formulating questions and thoughts into your head with no structure though... Because for years I thought that was me being disorganized. I didn't realize that it's normal.
Intelligence and humor in a wonderful blend. Brilliant as usual!
You know your class is good when the students clap at the end of it !
“Okay, good. We’ll leave it at that and I’ll see you on Tuesday.” I love this guy so much. Brilliant but completely unpretentious.
Should I feel bad about watching this? These are primo lectures. I should be paying to see them.
He has his is own UA-cam channel were he shares videos like this. I think he want us to listen to this and do something with it.
Some of us paid thousands n in debt to receive some real knowledge. Yet University education shouldn't be that expensive especially when the odds of finding a well paying job is minimal. But was it worth it? Oh yeah. Only thing is that, I would have done with much better focus and smart ways of studying :)
If you're interested in paying for something "special", start his future authoring program, I think its 15$.
@@colepeltier8472 Could you perhaps define "special". Is it beneficial?
"Siddhartha sat, and listened. The many-voiced song of the river echoed softly. Siddhartha looked into the river and saw many faces in the flowing water. The river's voice was sorrowful, it sang with yearning and sadness. Siddhartha was now listening intently, to this song of a thousand voices. The song consisted of one word, Om, the perfection. From that hour, Siddhartha ceased to fight against his destiny." - Herman Hesse
One of the key problems that I have, when communicating with others, is that a lot of time I get so caught up in thinking about the next point I want to make that I don't take time to digest what the other person is trying to say. I find myself not only making this mistake during arguments but also in casual conversations.
What a triumph for those students to have such a thought provoking lecturer to guide them through their young lives. Truly wonderful to see.
I’ve heard this 10 times and this is the first time I’ve listened. Great stuff.
I wonder how appropriate it is to listen all the time... that’d mean radical honesty. Which in turn means my ego could get very bruised. Yikes.
Great stuff.
"If you listen to people they will tell you the weirdest, bloody things". This is true. Any person who has been a quiet, amiable person for most of their lives knows this all too well
Can somebody please please upload the Tuesday's class.. I can't thank Dr. Peterson enough for his contributions towards increasing my self-awareness.
"You can lean a lot about a man, by studying his hairdo." -Jordan Peterson. Wise words. Eternal words.
Is your name really 'Brain'? So you're saying that if you lean to one side, you can study someone's hairdo and determine their character?
Why can't you do that when you're standing straight up?
Well geez, I'm bald.
How
I think my ego stops me from listening to people. It's so important to me, they know how clever I am. I hope I learn to listen.
i never have trouble listening to one of this mans lectures .
I’ve been thinking about this for a long time now, I’ve heard this advice of really listening Soo many times, yet I still forget and get caught thinking of how I’m gonna reply and what I’m gonna say, but I’m gonna try what he suggested and listen as if I’m going to restate what the person just said.
Same 🙏🏻
Awesome practice. and will have many rewards. So many people have experience of not being heard. I had forgotten about this practice which I tried on a conversation my mother repeatedly had with me and my sisters that revolved around our safety (we are all married with children now) and she just could not let go. I took on having her have the experience of being heard around this particular conversation and it literally disappeared that concern from our conversations AND my sisters. So cool.
Almost seems like we are in a rush when we talk. He takes his time and sometimes there is a pause when he picks his words, never once uttering an "Uhhhhm." And people wait and anticipate his reply because they are familiar and confident in his exchange. I have purposely tried taking a breath before answering my wife to force a quick rethink of what I'm going to say, similar to what I do before I write or text. I tend to zone people out when I feel convo is about to be trivial and this is bad and unhealthy.
Marino DeRienzo same.
amr mousa me too
Life changing advice
Now it really makes sense why in the debate with Sam he begins by restating and summarizing Sam’s ideas in order to verify that he has truly listened to his point of view and can successfully reconstruct his frame of reference. Wow thank you Peterson for putting out so much high quality content
The expression of truth is illuminating.
the truth will set you free 🙌🏼
Great thanks to put the link for the full lecture
The more I listen to his videos the more I always have more questions. I like that.
Summarising the opposing argument, called the 'purvapaksha' - this is the basis of the manner of debate in ancient Indian philosophy where for years the debates between Hinduism, Buddhism, and Jainism went on, without any violence. If one defeated the other, the followers joined the winner, and then he was challenged by another.
Now help me to really *want* to listen to someone! I constantly find myself to be completely disinterested in what 99% of people have to say. It's such trivial banal run of the day conversation that I'd rather just not engage at all.
You need to choose better environments!!
Remember, he's only talking from his viewpoint and I doubt he spends much time hanging around construction sites or cattle marts.
quit your addictions whatever they may be and you will find everything interesting
Narcassist
I read Crime and Punishment because of this man. Believe me, that's HUGE!
Am going to start watching his full lectures, starting with his oldest video available, and begin taking notes as if am actually in his class.
This is One of the rules in his new book! I just got it today from Amazon. Anyone else?
Omar A just arrived ;D
That might be good for therapeutic conversation but not necessarily for other situation. I am founding more and more that people tell others nice things to make them fell better in this particular moment of conversation, instead of giving them real advice, which might be beneficial for longer period of time, sometimes for lifetime.
I still can't get over the fact that his students clap after his lectures. It warms my heart
My Teacher,and I've had millions,still developing under his techniques with helping us imagine with his body language, am happy to have met him in my timeline here 💪🏻💪🏻
He has a wonderful way of saying words you don't understand but you know damn well what he means
Jordan Peterson explains life to me in a way no one else has. If I had to say who I thought was most important in my life I think I would say he is.
I find it mind blowing that this an actual university class, a lecture as part of a Psychology course you are taking for a grade, and students applaud when Peterson is finished as if they were listening to a talk or a speech. I am an undergraduate senior in Computer Science, and I have taken my share of 300/400 level courses from other tracks (Psychology, Philosophy, Sociology), and never have I had an experience where students thought it was necessary to applaud at the end of our professor's lecture. Truly exemplifies how privileged these students feel to receive their education from this man.
Edit: I am an American so of course maybe this is just a Canadian thing haha
Well he just described perfectly why I like listening to other people.
Thank Professor Peterson for these pearls
I love how the closed captions were in note form, like even the person making the CC was interested
The only classroom to clap at the end of a session, not because the class is over, but because they were really interested in what was being presented.
I love this man.
Teaching so all learn is one of the most difficult jobs of a teacher. Teaching and progress go hand in hand.
It's crazy how much of this indirectly influences us daily, and we don't think about it.
This guy.
At the 9 minute mark - repeat what the last person said to ensure you understand what they said. The best conversations I’ve ever had were talking with someone like this. I met someone at an early age that was always confirming what I said. That’s where I learned to do this. Even if I occasionally do this in a conversation, people seem annoyed and can barely confirm my understanding or misinterpret my understanding of them. Then they reinstate their thoughts in different words and I think to myself “that’s what I just said.” I find it to be the upmost respect when people are really trying to understand me. It allows a conversation to go deep.
This man speaks like Kyrie Irving dribbles.
or Curry shooting
Masterfully!
Lol, although 100% true, I was definitely not expecting it on a jordan peterson video.
hey Evan, wasn't expecting to see you in these comments lol (fellow yoyoer)
Tobias Schneider ayyyy we in here
I hope these students appreciate the hell out of him as a teacher. They're so lucky.
Wise words here:if you are in a relationship, it's therapeutic, if it's not therapeutic, then it's something other than relationship.
Jordan "King of articulation" as always.
Look at how JP looks into the eyes of a number of students and engages with them rather than just talking at the group.
Brilliant
Conversing with someone who I am quite aware has the attribution of eccentricity would be nothing but fascinating. It's fun, listening to all things they said.
I love his videos because I always feel like I've learned another tool to become a better person.
Powerful and practical. Thank you.
It is rather challenging to let revenge go though... even though it is so profoundly unhelpful. When someone really deserves it, I find it very difficult to think that I want anything to be better for them. Especially when they have been wronging me repeatedly. I know I SHOULD keep on trying to make things better even in that situation, but... man. It is the last thing I want in those kind of situations.
Oh wow...that nugget in the last 5mins will change the way i communicate in a dispute forever...
Wow. He's on point here. Sometimes he can get a little out there, but this excerpt is spot on.
I listen to everyone. I hear every thing. Its like sensory over load some times.
One of his best lectures I've heard. It's practical.
Thank you. So much
"If you listen to people, they will tell you the weirdest bloody things so fast you just cannot believe it."
I have found this to be *very* true.
Thanks
Dr Jodan Peterson he said people need small help for success& also he said ask people before you judging your self it’s true enough
I wished I knew them my flowers many years ago back. That speech make me a wake up call. It’s very interesting& confidence
Thank you very much for sharing knowledge that Allah given you
I could never seek a video of 10 mins where the speaker talks about Philosophy, Life-changing habit, a famous psychologist and experiment. Genius!
Stephen Covey's habit 5: Seek first to understand then be understood! There it is right there!
I like to hear someone tell their versions of some knowledge and then try to add my own version of the same thing to the conversation.
Even with my close friends it almost always ends to a situation where my friends think I’m trying to prove their opinions invalid. This is something I will always immediately try to clarify.
I’m just trying make everyone involved learn something new or make new conclusions. Especially myself...
This is difficult.
I don't think it matters when I'm thinking 'conciously' or not in order to 'really listen' to someone, if you 'think' while listening to someone, a different part of your brain processes the audio input, but it still works fine in my opinion.
Edit: This seems to be very varying depending on your 'fluency' in the language the person you're listening to speaks.
"Seek first to understand, then to be understood" -Stephen Covey...and Jordan Peterson
My favorite person.
Thank you Mr. Peterson for helping me with your very smarts and useful things that you talk in your speech’s.
Listening to someone is different from what we frequently do in our conversation. We usually try to prove that ourselves are right, try to impress people, or win the arguments.
Get your mind straightened up. ‘You might have something to tell me that I don’t know. By listening carefully, I might be smarter and well-equipped for living than before the comversation. Maybe 9 out of 10 you say are ridiculous, but getting to realize one thing that I don’t know is enough for the whole conversation.’
Exchange of the truth is curative. Express the truth as clearly as possible, and orient yourself properly. ‘I want both of us to be better after the conversation we take, though I even might not know what it means.’
I have been talking to my daughter about Jordan Peterson,what I like the most about him is that he makes me feel intelligent and it seems that a lot of other people think likewise.
Bless you Mr. Jordan Peterson , and Godspeed good sir.
How do you be a good listener, but not succumb to being too agreeable?
Timothy Roper Only by asking genuine questions you can listen properly. It is not about agreeing or not. It is about listening and understanding the other person. Only after having done that one can propose a different way of seeing things. It is this proces of listening - understanding - genuine respons - being listened to - repeat that gives growth for both persons. You can not be agreeable or not agreeable in this conversation, you just have to understand and then respond with the feelings and thoughts that you had after understanding.
+pop pop Excellent response.
@TimothyRoper tell me if I 'listened' to you correctly. Did you mean how long should you listen to someone (thereby showing genuine interest in them) before the conversation becomes less than reciprocal (they do ALL of the talking, whilst you sit passively listening) and a monologue, rather than a dialogue?
K_C, yes, I have a hard time just listening, when I disagree with someone and feel they're just trying to dominate the conversation with their "knowledge." But pop pop seems to have some good advice worth trying.
Timothy Roper I interrup people all the time and I do it because I forget what I was gonna say I'm now gonna listen and forget about myself
I have been going to AlAnon for seventeen years. I used to think that if I heard one useful thing in an hour then it was worth it. At some point, I realized that if I listened from a completely neutral place, without judgement and an open heart to a person who is in emotional pain or discord that the healing happens between where I am and where they are. That space is not to entered but simply held. The funny thing is that in my daily life people ask how I know so many interesting people. I think that it is more a matter of being truly interested in everyone.
this talk changed my life...thank Jordan..it literally changed my view on everything..even my relationship with my creator
Very helpful thank you!
I have a member of my family who feels put down or less intelligent every time I speak. The only way I have been able to figure out how to resolve this problem and keep peace in the family, is by not saying my thoughts or ideas. Unfortunately, I can only stay absence of my own thoughts and feelings for about a month. When I do speak I feel like I am presenting a variety of ideas or a multitude of perceptions. They feel like (from what they say) that I am telling them there ideas are wrong or I making them feel stupid. I desperately do not want to do this to them.
I love my family members but sometimes the way I discuss or speak is not appropriate. It makes me feel guilty and want to avoid new conversations. I don't know why and don't know how to search for a solution.
Other comments are all good but what you said is exactly what I feel after watching this video and I'm very thankful. I just learned at least 3 valueable things within 10 minutes:
- Every conversation is a opportunity to make myself and other become better
- The goal is not "Right/win/wrong.." but "The place we both end up, is better than the place we left". I should make their arguement stronger, not belittle or strawman them
- Only speak after I can restate the IDEAS and FEELINGS of the other ACCURATELY
I will train my Listening skill this way from now on. What a lucky day.
This is absolutely phenomenal to hear! Dr Peterson describes everything I believe and feel should be done in simplistic words
Amazing perspective and productive approach!! Thank you for sharing and bringing this to light!
I was awarded custody of my emotionally abused son. What followed was dozens of meetings with a child psychologist and social workers. My spoken French is moderately good but, at the time, not as good as would have liked.
To get things clear in my head, I would listen and say: 'If I understand, you have said that......'. (In French).
Far from causing frustration, the response was always positive. I had shown that I had listened and they often used that to expand on what they had already said.
Not quite the same context he is using here but the technique certainly works in increasing understanding.