I NEED A QPR RIGHT NOW ACTUALLY NO YES PLEASE LIFELONG PLATONIC PARTNER DEVOTED To EACHOTHER IN SUCH A CLOSE WAY THAT IT SEEMS ROMANTIC BUT IT'S SOOOOOOO NOT YES DEVOTED PLATONIC PARTNERSHIPS!!!!
Ah I've understood QPR as a committed platonic relationship, so just like in a romantic relationship you'd have to discuss if it was poly/open in nature or monogamous. Because if I got in a QPR with a person and they then wanted to become romantically involved with someone else, I would be destroyed. I would be a 100% in and to find out they weren't the same would be crushing. (Especially because I have past hurts from others meaning more to me than I mean to them.) I feel like even if it's not romantic, my dedication would be just as strong. Of course I'm talking in hypotheticals because I've never been in any kind of relationship, but I've experienced "falling in love" platonically with people and wanting more than friendship, but not romance or sex. Which to most people doesn't make any sense lol This also reminds me of how I was trying to explain this to someone before I knew that QPR was a thing. They said I just wanted a "best friend". No, a best friend won't look at you as a life partner and there's always the potential that they'll find someone else to spend their life with because they're not "devoted" to you (as they shouldn't be). But a QPR partner would be someone you involve in decision-making and consider a key part of your life, more than just traditional friendship. Like if you think about moving to a different city, you would normally move by yourself in the context of a best friend relationship. But with a QPR partner, you might discuss whether you move together or remain in a long-distance QPR, just like in a romantic relationship. Anyway. That's how I've interpreted it, and others might interpret it differently. I'm still trying to make sense of things and my feelings and it's a long-ass road.
this is EXACTLY how i feel regarding qprs!!! i too would be utterly destroyed if my QPP wanted to become romantically involved with someone else. and i resonated so strongly with your experience of being an extremely dedicated partner, as well as past hurts when you realize someone didn't value you as much as you did them (for that, i am so sorry, it is such a heartbreaking experience). i've been saying for literal years how i wanted a committed best friend, but because of my religious comp-het upbringing (i'm ace and a genderqueer enby) i thought it would have to be that my "spouse would be my best friend as we served jesus together" which in christianity in my experience, entailed that whole weird submissive dynamic that i didn't fuck with lmao.
It is so comforting to see that there are at least some people who think the same way as me. I mean in my surroundings I didn't meet a single soul who agreed with my thoughts about relationships. According to one of my best friends I have 'some problems' regarding being involved in romantic relationships. Some of my well wishers were concerned about my lack of romantic attachments. I couldn't make them understand that my idea of 'relationships' is different from them. It is centred around the idea of 'Best friend'. Someone I can be most vulnerable with, someone who shares their deepest thoughts with me, someone who works with me, someone who shares the same emotional and intellectual journey as myself. I want to be more than friends with them, share my life with them, stay in a long term commitment, but it don't need to be so called romantic in nature. And this kind of thought usually confuses people. I am also very much familiar with the feeling of devoting too much of myself to people to whom I didn't mean that much.
@@tora3584I think there's example of qpr relationship in Bible, most notable one is David-Jonathan. I feel weird reading the story at first since it doesn't seem like a normal friendship, but at the same time it feels not sexual at all so definitely not a gay relationship. After learning about qpr definition I think I finally understand it.
Bro same that's what I was thinking. Before I knew what a qpr was (I learned by reading beeduo fanfic) I knew I wanted something like that I just didn't know what to call it.
Hey there! Me and my QPP have been Queerplatonic for about a year and a half, and we love seeing other's QPR stories. For context, she is asexual, and I am not. I started questioning whether I had feelings for her, and went back and forth in my head. Eventually I saw a video about alterous attraction and sent it to her. We had a chat, wherein she said she realized she felt the same after watching that video. Just goes to show, we don't know what we don't know after all! After a few months, we came across the term Queerplatonic, and after having a discussion, decided it fitted us. We thought the Queerplatonic flag was super cute too! When it came to telling people, we didn't pressure each other as we knew it'd be hard to explain. However, most of the people we've told have been supportive, even if they don't fully understand. From the day we talked about our feelings to now, we've discussed our boundaries and what we're comfortable with. I recommend this in any relationship:) Things can change overtime, and as we met on the internet and have yet to meet in real life (unfortunately, due to circumstances) we can only tell so much about what we're comfortable with. Thank you again for the video, and I will be sending it to my QPP.
All of these answers were so vague it didn't really help me understand anything 😂 if you do a part 2 using some examples or direct references to your own relationship structure would be great
Im in a QPR with 2 people and gosh i love it. (Both ppl obv know that im in a QPR with somebody other than them and one of my QPR partners is also dating sm)
Thank you so much for this info! One of the people in my life who came out as aro/ace about a year ago asked me to be in a qpr this week. I wanted to do some more looking into what that fully meant (especially because i am not aro/ace). I ended up saying yes and i feel like i was able to go into it with a better idea in what the differences between a friendship, qpr, and romantic relationship, as well as conversations with them, of course. I am beyond thrilled to have them as my platonic partner 💛
I'm kind of in a QPR but kind of not? I call him my boyfriend and he calls me his platonic partner that he loves. We're rarely sexual, and our relationship is on the line of romantic/platonic. We cuddle and say 'I love you' and kiss and stuff that people perceive as being a couple. For context, he's a cis man, bisexual, polyamorous and I'm agender, pan, grayasexual, cupioromantic, polyamorous I dunno if what we have counts as a form of QPR or not... he doesn't like labels so we kind of just ... exist as people who love each other Edit: I also asked him if we're a queerplatonic couple and he said "Yeah... for now" implying that could change one day but for the moment he's fine with QPR
The more I watch your videos, the more I realize I may be ace + aro. Thanks for sharing! Side note: Idk if anyone else had this experience growing up, but I loved Team Rocket's dynamic from Pokemon and often viewed it as relationship goals. I'd love to know if anyone else did. Also, I used to think I was straight but then all the guys I enjoyed spending my time around most were gay so we could only be good friends, so I wonder now if I am just ace + aro. I am not implying that one has to have the exact same experience as me to be acearo, I just feel like these are signs within my life that may indicate I am.
This was such an informative video! Being confusing to other people is really relateable. It was good to hear that someone else felt that way, too. A part 2 would be awesome!! ❤
Thank you for sharing this with us! UA-cam just recommended this video to me and it got it right for a change. I'm in the ace spectrum and probably somewhere in the aro spectrum and I've been interested in QPRs forever but barely see people talking about it.
this !!! i had told a friend of mine i was asexual (they are apart of the lgbtqia+ since as long as i knew them so they knew more than me about other parts of how relationships are) and they were like i feel like you would be perfect in a qpr and i was like wtfff is that :0 i recently just found out about what it was and i loved this video !very much informative- i wish i could eventually find someone to have a qpr with at the very least cus a normal ‘relationship’ sort of scares me …..thinking about but qprs seems like a less anxiety driven relationship for me 💔🤣😅🥹
This was so helpful, I've been friends with this person for 4 years and at some point i thought i liked them, I've been having these thoughts again but i realized I don't exactly want to do romantic stuff, I'm not in love with them, i just love them. They always tell me I'm their platonic friend and that they love me platonically, but for the first time i can understand that :D I'm still understanding everything but i knew there was a niche for people like us. Our bond is too strong for it to be a normal friendship, but not that strong to be a romantic relationship and I'm fine with that, i feel like i understand.
I jusf found you guys in youtube a whole year ago and helped me so much fiiguring out my idenity! (With some backgoeund research) again thank u two soo much! Keep uo the great work ❤❤
Im in a qpr with my childhood best friend. We've known each other since 2010. As soon as we met, we instantly clicked. We "dated" in high school until i realised i was aroace at 20. But i didnt come out to him for like a year so i could figure out what we were. I eventually found the term QPR, come out to him and explained what a qpr meant. We been in one eversince. We knew we werent "just friends", but not quite lovers either.
Thanks, I just learn about QPR and finally come on terms with myself. I always wonder if I'm a lesbian because back in my school days I suddenly fell in love with a tomboy girl. She's so dashing and cool I never feel such feelings before, it's super weird since I have several crush on boys but never feel that intense affection like for her. Somehow we enter this weird relationship, like I'm super serious and excited towards her and vice versa but never see her in sexual way. Unfortunately I'm distancing away from her early on since I'm scared of being lesbian (it's taboo thing during my school years) and my super awkward self in relationship doesn't help either. Long short story we finally patch things up but I'm very shocked when she told me that she already got engaged! I'm happy for her ofc cuz I love her the most (she has my deepest love in non sexual way from beginning till now it's never change) but my heart still break nevertheless and I got super confused because I'm 100% straight yet my love for her is the biggest and most intense one. No one aside my family can rival my love for her yet. Lucky you since your QPR isn't unrequited and stay solid😢, anyway good content, keep it up👍
hey genuine question, dyou have to be on the ace/aro spectrum to be in a qpr? and what even is the ace/aro spectrum anyways? bc i def have romantic attraction but i also adore platonic attraction and hate how modern society puts it below romantic. i hope this isnt rude or smth but yeah :))!!! (btw edit, i havent finished the video yet so sorry if youve already answered this)
Nope, you don't have to be aspec to be in a QPR -- anyone can be! I have other videos defining and explaining the asexual and aromantic spectrums, but put briefly, they include anyone who feels little to no, or otherwise irregular sexual/ romantic attraction, or whose experience with sexuality or romantic orientation is non-normative to the extent that they identify with the terms. Hope this helps!
I fully respect if someone feels like a label doesn’t fit, but I feel like more people than people think are in committed platonic relationships (ie many cis, straight peeps), but society doesn’t recognize/place value on theses kinds of relationships due to a number of reasons (comphet, capitalism’s over valuing the nuclear family, etc)
What is the term or the name when you are both fictosexual and fictoromantic and is a valid and does have a flag. Can you please and let me know what it means? And does anybody have both fictosexual and fictoromantic if so Does anybody came out as both yet. 😊
In the qpr I’m in we like saying “we aren’t single but we aren’t a couple” as a way to break peoples minds
I NEED A QPR RIGHT NOW ACTUALLY NO YES PLEASE LIFELONG PLATONIC PARTNER DEVOTED To EACHOTHER IN SUCH A CLOSE WAY THAT IT SEEMS ROMANTIC BUT IT'S SOOOOOOO NOT YES DEVOTED PLATONIC PARTNERSHIPS!!!!
Right? Sadly my country is still conservative so it's maybe impossible for me haha😂
LITERALLY same
@@friendlyspecter yea it also sucks when your the only aroace person in area
Ah I've understood QPR as a committed platonic relationship, so just like in a romantic relationship you'd have to discuss if it was poly/open in nature or monogamous. Because if I got in a QPR with a person and they then wanted to become romantically involved with someone else, I would be destroyed. I would be a 100% in and to find out they weren't the same would be crushing. (Especially because I have past hurts from others meaning more to me than I mean to them.) I feel like even if it's not romantic, my dedication would be just as strong. Of course I'm talking in hypotheticals because I've never been in any kind of relationship, but I've experienced "falling in love" platonically with people and wanting more than friendship, but not romance or sex. Which to most people doesn't make any sense lol
This also reminds me of how I was trying to explain this to someone before I knew that QPR was a thing. They said I just wanted a "best friend". No, a best friend won't look at you as a life partner and there's always the potential that they'll find someone else to spend their life with because they're not "devoted" to you (as they shouldn't be). But a QPR partner would be someone you involve in decision-making and consider a key part of your life, more than just traditional friendship. Like if you think about moving to a different city, you would normally move by yourself in the context of a best friend relationship. But with a QPR partner, you might discuss whether you move together or remain in a long-distance QPR, just like in a romantic relationship. Anyway. That's how I've interpreted it, and others might interpret it differently. I'm still trying to make sense of things and my feelings and it's a long-ass road.
You basically narrated my thoughts and experience. Glad I'm not the only one!
this is EXACTLY how i feel regarding qprs!!! i too would be utterly destroyed if my QPP wanted to become romantically involved with someone else. and i resonated so strongly with your experience of being an extremely dedicated partner, as well as past hurts when you realize someone didn't value you as much as you did them (for that, i am so sorry, it is such a heartbreaking experience). i've been saying for literal years how i wanted a committed best friend, but because of my religious comp-het upbringing (i'm ace and a genderqueer enby) i thought it would have to be that my "spouse would be my best friend as we served jesus together" which in christianity in my experience, entailed that whole weird submissive dynamic that i didn't fuck with lmao.
It is so comforting to see that there are at least some people who think the same way as me. I mean in my surroundings I didn't meet a single soul who agreed with my thoughts about relationships.
According to one of my best friends I have 'some problems' regarding being involved in romantic relationships. Some of my well wishers were concerned about my lack of romantic attachments.
I couldn't make them understand that my idea of 'relationships' is different from them. It is centred around the idea of 'Best friend'. Someone I can be most vulnerable with, someone who shares their deepest thoughts with me, someone who works with me, someone who shares the same emotional and intellectual journey as myself. I want to be more than friends with them, share my life with them, stay in a long term commitment, but it don't need to be so called romantic in nature.
And this kind of thought usually confuses people. I am also very much familiar with the feeling of devoting too much of myself to people to whom I didn't mean that much.
@@tora3584I think there's example of qpr relationship in Bible, most notable one is David-Jonathan. I feel weird reading the story at first since it doesn't seem like a normal friendship, but at the same time it feels not sexual at all so definitely not a gay relationship. After learning about qpr definition I think I finally understand it.
Bro same that's what I was thinking. Before I knew what a qpr was (I learned by reading beeduo fanfic) I knew I wanted something like that I just didn't know what to call it.
Obviously a part 2 would be amazing!
We’re on it!
Hey there! Me and my QPP have been Queerplatonic for about a year and a half, and we love seeing other's QPR stories. For context, she is asexual, and I am not. I started questioning whether I had feelings for her, and went back and forth in my head. Eventually I saw a video about alterous attraction and sent it to her. We had a chat, wherein she said she realized she felt the same after watching that video. Just goes to show, we don't know what we don't know after all! After a few months, we came across the term Queerplatonic, and after having a discussion, decided it fitted us. We thought the Queerplatonic flag was super cute too! When it came to telling people, we didn't pressure each other as we knew it'd be hard to explain. However, most of the people we've told have been supportive, even if they don't fully understand. From the day we talked about our feelings to now, we've discussed our boundaries and what we're comfortable with. I recommend this in any relationship:) Things can change overtime, and as we met on the internet and have yet to meet in real life (unfortunately, due to circumstances) we can only tell so much about what we're comfortable with. Thank you again for the video, and I will be sending it to my QPP.
"yes, it's called the autism spectrum" i love that 😂 awesome video guys!!
Thank you for appreciating that joke, I was quite proud of it, haha. 💛
Ok but can we talk abt how people on this channel have cool hair??🥹
Hahaha… thanks!
I can't wait to watch this, the internet needs more QPR content.
This gives me a good idea of what one could look for me as an Ace.
It's cool to learn these things about the aroace community!
💚
I wish I had people I could talk to irl about queer/LGBTQIA+ things
I do but i used to not so this is so valid
All of these answers were so vague it didn't really help me understand anything 😂 if you do a part 2 using some examples or direct references to your own relationship structure would be great
As an aroace who is still exploring QPRs, this video was super helpful! I can't wait for a part 2! ✨️
Im in a QPR with 2 people and gosh i love it. (Both ppl obv know that im in a QPR with somebody other than them and one of my QPR partners is also dating sm)
Thank you so much for this info! One of the people in my life who came out as aro/ace about a year ago asked me to be in a qpr this week. I wanted to do some more looking into what that fully meant (especially because i am not aro/ace). I ended up saying yes and i feel like i was able to go into it with a better idea in what the differences between a friendship, qpr, and romantic relationship, as well as conversations with them, of course. I am beyond thrilled to have them as my platonic partner 💛
I'm kind of in a QPR but kind of not? I call him my boyfriend and he calls me his platonic partner that he loves. We're rarely sexual, and our relationship is on the line of romantic/platonic. We cuddle and say 'I love you' and kiss and stuff that people perceive as being a couple.
For context, he's a cis man, bisexual, polyamorous and I'm agender, pan, grayasexual, cupioromantic, polyamorous
I dunno if what we have counts as a form of QPR or not... he doesn't like labels so we kind of just ... exist as people who love each other
Edit: I also asked him if we're a queerplatonic couple and he said "Yeah... for now" implying that could change one day but for the moment he's fine with QPR
It would be nice to have another Q&A now!
The more I watch your videos, the more I realize I may be ace + aro. Thanks for sharing! Side note: Idk if anyone else had this experience growing up, but I loved Team Rocket's dynamic from Pokemon and often viewed it as relationship goals. I'd love to know if anyone else did. Also, I used to think I was straight but then all the guys I enjoyed spending my time around most were gay so we could only be good friends, so I wonder now if I am just ace + aro. I am not implying that one has to have the exact same experience as me to be acearo, I just feel like these are signs within my life that may indicate I am.
That's super interesting! It lets me understand QPRs better.
I'm glad to be hanging out in this chill supportive space on the internet!
We’re glad you’re here. 🧡🧡🧡
This was such an informative video! Being confusing to other people is really relateable. It was good to hear that someone else felt that way, too. A part 2 would be awesome!! ❤
I'm so glad! Thanks for watching 💗✨
Yes! Must have a Part 2!
I always wanted family, not a romance. This desire could have been emerged by the word QPR and I love the concept.
Thank you for this. I would love a part 2.
Great video! Learned a bunch! And it is good to see Kaden again. Part 2 please!
Thanks! Will do.
part two please :)
Thank you for sharing this with us! UA-cam just recommended this video to me and it got it right for a change. I'm in the ace spectrum and probably somewhere in the aro spectrum and I've been interested in QPRs forever but barely see people talking about it.
this !!! i had told a friend of mine i was asexual (they are apart of the lgbtqia+ since as long as i knew them so they knew more than me about other parts of how relationships are) and they were like i feel like you would be perfect in a qpr and i was like wtfff is that :0 i recently just found out about what it was and i loved this video !very much informative- i wish i could eventually find someone to have a qpr with at the very least cus a normal ‘relationship’ sort of scares me …..thinking about but qprs seems like a less anxiety driven relationship for me 💔🤣😅🥹
It’s me and my partner’s second anniversary!:33❤️❤️❤️
congrats
where is Lau?
I noticed her part isn't in the channel's about page anymore
but the video description says "We are a trio"
would love a part two
This was so helpful, I've been friends with this person for 4 years and at some point i thought i liked them, I've been having these thoughts again but i realized I don't exactly want to do romantic stuff, I'm not in love with them, i just love them.
They always tell me I'm their platonic friend and that they love me platonically, but for the first time i can understand that :D
I'm still understanding everything but i knew there was a niche for people like us.
Our bond is too strong for it to be a normal friendship, but not that strong to be a romantic relationship and I'm fine with that, i feel like i understand.
I think we all want part 2!!! Its so interesting to talk about this, bcs is not very common to find people informed about it
I jusf found you guys in youtube a whole year ago and helped me so much fiiguring out my idenity! (With some backgoeund research) again thank u two soo much! Keep uo the great work ❤❤
This video was really helpful! :D And I’d love a part 2!
Oh my gosh hi! Thanks for answering my question 👍
Thanks for asking it! ❤❤❤
Part 2 would be cool ^^
Part 2 would be good!! ❤
Im in a qpr with my childhood best friend. We've known each other since 2010. As soon as we met, we instantly clicked.
We "dated" in high school until i realised i was aroace at 20. But i didnt come out to him for like a year so i could figure out what we were. I eventually found the term QPR, come out to him and explained what a qpr meant.
We been in one eversince. We knew we werent "just friends", but not quite lovers either.
Thanks, I just learn about QPR and finally come on terms with myself. I always wonder if I'm a lesbian because back in my school days I suddenly fell in love with a tomboy girl. She's so dashing and cool I never feel such feelings before, it's super weird since I have several crush on boys but never feel that intense affection like for her. Somehow we enter this weird relationship, like I'm super serious and excited towards her and vice versa but never see her in sexual way. Unfortunately I'm distancing away from her early on since I'm scared of being lesbian (it's taboo thing during my school years) and my super awkward self in relationship doesn't help either. Long short story we finally patch things up but I'm very shocked when she told me that she already got engaged! I'm happy for her ofc cuz I love her the most (she has my deepest love in non sexual way from beginning till now it's never change) but my heart still break nevertheless and I got super confused because I'm 100% straight yet my love for her is the biggest and most intense one. No one aside my family can rival my love for her yet. Lucky you since your QPR isn't unrequited and stay solid😢, anyway good content, keep it up👍
I was looking for a video like this
im sorry but like I LOVE YOU GUYS AAHHH 🦦🦦thank you for this videooo
Awwww, you’re welcome for the video! 💕
more would be awesome
hey genuine question, dyou have to be on the ace/aro spectrum to be in a qpr? and what even is the ace/aro spectrum anyways? bc i def have romantic attraction but i also adore platonic attraction and hate how modern society puts it below romantic. i hope this isnt rude or smth but yeah :))!!! (btw edit, i havent finished the video yet so sorry if youve already answered this)
Nope, you don't have to be aspec to be in a QPR -- anyone can be! I have other videos defining and explaining the asexual and aromantic spectrums, but put briefly, they include anyone who feels little to no, or otherwise irregular sexual/ romantic attraction, or whose experience with sexuality or romantic orientation is non-normative to the extent that they identify with the terms. Hope this helps!
Part 2, pretty please. I may be getting into a QPR. Any info in helpful.
great video (-: this helped me to think of how a QPR could look for me
Part two please!
omg pls make a part two! :3 also also i might ask my best friend Mason to be in a qpr with me lol
💚
I fully respect if someone feels like a label doesn’t fit, but I feel like more people than people think are in committed platonic relationships (ie many cis, straight peeps), but society doesn’t recognize/place value on theses kinds of relationships due to a number of reasons (comphet, capitalism’s over valuing the nuclear family, etc)
ay
I wonder if I am in one.
What is the term or the name when you are both fictosexual and fictoromantic and is a valid and does have a flag. Can you please and let me know what it means? And does anybody have both fictosexual and fictoromantic if so Does anybody came out as both yet. 😊
Would it be inappropriate to have a QPR with my dog?
You’re not confusing to other people, you are just confused. So people perceive you as such.