I think a lot of people do work hard in dating, but they don’t realize it’s work because the goal is to win the person. Once they have the person in marriage, it’s like they give up on working because they feel they have the prize, they don’t need to.
Yeah imo I think its bc it’s not even about the person they’re to “win” over and marry - it’s about all the things that that person represents. Like the person they’re trying to win might represent some form of security, validation, power, status, social class, etc. dor example, if a guy is chasing after a beautiful woman then in reality, what he might be chasing after could be the social status that comes from him being seen with a beautiful woman by his side or the validation he feels like he gets knowing that the woman every other man wants picked him over all her other options. With women - maybe if she’s trying to win over the player that the other girls in her social group also want, she might be seeking an ego boost or feeling validated about her desirability knowing that she was that one special woman who was picked by a dude over all the other women that she was competing with for his commitment. The problem then becomes that in a way, the person being chased and “won” over is just being used by the person trying to win them. It’s like a form of objectification. It’s like say you need to use an otherwise useless token in order to buy some food - the token itself is not valuable to you but rather it’s what the token buys you (ie food that you need to survive) that you value. So if they suddenly said this token can no longer get you any food and you are now starving, that token is no longer something you particularly care about or value - it’s now useless to you. People need to learn about the importance of intentions and always question themselves on what their intentions are and that always takes a lot of self reflection and self awareness if you are truly being honest to yourself about why you are doing the things you’re doing.
Yes. This is objectification. It sees the other person as an acquisition and rather than an independent person with their own hopes, needs and dreams. The challenge is to keep the two people in a constant dance where each honours the others’ needs while deepening their connection with their own. ❤
What an enlightened discussion!! We’d all be better humans if we chose this type of genuine communication based on active listening. Powerful interview! Thank you!
I have been binge watching all of your content for over 2 months now, and there's always amazing take aways (even as a single parent), this is one of my favorite interviews, keep it up East Fam!
Shawn and Andrew I just want to say thank you for bringing this podcast to us because everytime you guys get in to these discussions and I think you can't top that one there's another that blows my mind like the discussion with this couple and let me tell you I have learn a lot and also improve myself.So keep doing a great job 👍
Isn’t Justin and Emily extremely special…..Profound subject. We are human first before we are male or female. Humanity first. Great books, he has one for Boys Are Human. I hope this weaves into our culture.
I've adored this man for so long, he's perfection inside and out. This was a great interview. They look to be a solid couple. As for best first dates, go miniature golfing. You learn a lot about them and it's low pressure and easy conversation. Do they cheat? Grandstand? Too competitive? Encouraging or snarky? Good winner or loser? It tells you so much and there's no alcohol and a lot of witnesses (but not too near). It's safe and perfect. LOL By the time it's over you have 6 mos worth of knowledge on them crammed into a few hours. Good time saver if they are an idiot. LOL
My question would be, what if you are the only one in the marriage who is willing t explore the the why, the reason, the experience of growing together?
That's the 1 thing I've always noticed about this kind of Advice it only works if Every other couple was Exactly like them. I've been around couples that act like this and then leave and forget something and turn around and go back and hear them screaming at each other on the way to the front door and then once I'm in inside it's back to the perfect couple
I disagree, she’s a strong woman with her own voice and a beautiful soul. Look into their religion Baha’i, it all about love and loving others. They’re very special people.
Wow that's the first conversation where I was surprised when it was over. I could have listened for another hour. Yes please for part two!! 🖤🖤
I think this was my favorite Couple Things interview yet!
I think a lot of people do work hard in dating, but they don’t realize it’s work because the goal is to win the person. Once they have the person in marriage, it’s like they give up on working because they feel they have the prize, they don’t need to.
You are so right
Yeah imo I think its bc it’s not even about the person they’re to “win” over and marry - it’s about all the things that that person represents.
Like the person they’re trying to win might represent some form of security, validation, power, status, social class, etc.
dor example, if a guy is chasing after a beautiful woman then in reality, what he might be chasing after could be the social status that comes from him being seen with a beautiful woman by his side or the validation he feels like he gets knowing that the woman every other man wants picked him over all her other options. With women - maybe if she’s trying to win over the player that the other girls in her social group also want, she might be seeking an ego boost or feeling validated about her desirability knowing that she was that one special woman who was picked by a dude over all the other women that she was competing with for his commitment.
The problem then becomes that in a way, the person being chased and “won” over is just being used by the person trying to win them. It’s like a form of objectification.
It’s like say you need to use an otherwise useless token in order to buy some food - the token itself is not valuable to you but rather it’s what the token buys you (ie food that you need to survive) that you value. So if they suddenly said this token can no longer get you any food and you are now starving, that token is no longer something you particularly care about or value - it’s now useless to you.
People need to learn about the importance of intentions and always question themselves on what their intentions are and that always takes a lot of self reflection and self awareness if you are truly being honest to yourself about why you are doing the things you’re doing.
Yes. This is objectification. It sees the other person as an acquisition and rather than an independent person with their own hopes, needs and dreams. The challenge is to keep the two people in a constant dance where each honours the others’ needs while deepening their connection with their own. ❤
Love both Justin and Emily.love his podcasts❤❤❤
Definitely would love to hear a part two on this! Such a great conversation!
What an enlightened discussion!! We’d all be better humans if we chose this type of genuine communication based on active listening. Powerful interview! Thank you!
Love Zen Rafael! Thank you for bringing him on. I’ve been wanting to read his book so bad!
I have been binge watching all of your content for over 2 months now, and there's always amazing take aways (even as a single parent), this is one of my favorite interviews, keep it up East Fam!
Shawn and Andrew I just want to say thank you for bringing this podcast to us because everytime you guys get in to these discussions and I think you can't top that one there's another that blows my mind like the discussion with this couple and let me tell you I have learn a lot and also improve myself.So keep doing a great job 👍
thanks a million, these are conversations that seem to come so rarely outside the virtual world.
Isn’t Justin and Emily extremely special…..Profound subject. We are human first before we are male or female. Humanity first. Great books, he has one for Boys Are Human. I hope this weaves into our culture.
I love the cold water thing. The hard work is necessary and produces such beautiful stuff!
I absolutely love Justin Baldoni!!!!
Me too. Since jane the virgin I have seen his podcasts. Love Emily she is a TrueQueen❤❤❤❤
What an incredible episode! I watch all of your podcast and this has been by far my favourite one yet! They radiate light and wisdom.
Wow, what an awesome episode! I loved everything that they had to share!
Love the Baldoni's!
I've adored this man for so long, he's perfection inside and out. This was a great interview. They look to be a solid couple.
As for best first dates, go miniature golfing. You learn a lot about them and it's low pressure and easy conversation. Do they cheat? Grandstand? Too competitive? Encouraging or snarky? Good winner or loser? It tells you so much and there's no alcohol and a lot of witnesses (but not too near). It's safe and perfect. LOL By the time it's over you have 6 mos worth of knowledge on them crammed into a few hours. Good time saver if they are an idiot. LOL
I'm reading Justin's book now. Passing it on to my son!
This was really amazing. Thank you!
Justin’s Wife Acted with my cousin Jon Togo in a movie that’s where I new her from love y’all’s podcast
This was a beautiful conversation!
My Jane the Virgin fangirl is coming out omg
I love Ojai/Santa Barbara, but how do you stand the commute to Hollywood?😊
suuuch insightful perspectives! I really enjoyed this one
@ 43 minutes I had Justine in my ear and I took a cold plunge 🥶 he sold it to me! Let's see what this physical cold plunge is all about! Let's goooo
this is SO EXCITING
My question would be, what if you are the only one in the marriage who is willing t explore the the why, the reason, the experience of growing together?
That's the 1 thing I've always noticed about this kind of Advice it only works if Every other couple was Exactly like them. I've been around couples that act like this and then leave and forget something and turn around and go back and hear them screaming at each other on the way to the front door and then once I'm in inside it's back to the perfect couple
great interview but you have this wrong the guest need to have the larger screen the guests
Allergies :. I take freeze dried Stinging Nettles by Eclectic Institute 💙
"white sisgender dude" Oh, for God's Sake
Who thinks Almighty God is a white bearded guy in the sky? That comment was absurd.
Many people do actually, especially in Africa where colonialist presented God as such.
The long-term option consecutively analyse because edge incidentally wriggle among a super roadway. accurate, supreme foundation
Emily has very angry issues
I disagree, she’s a strong woman with her own voice and a beautiful soul. Look into their religion Baha’i, it all about love and loving others. They’re very special people.
She’s from Sweden. She’s pretty soft considering.