Border _ : A compassionate documentary on Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) FULL MOVIE
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- Опубліковано 22 сер 2013
- Border _ : A compassionate documentary on Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) This is the FINAL cut from the editor. (FULL MOVIE!)
Debbie now offers online, worldwide DBT emotional coping skills classes to help others overcome. Visit www.emotionallysensitive.com now to learn more and sign up!
For details about each of the cast members, visit: www.my-borderline-personality-...
(View Count on original video upload at the Healing From BPD website before this re-upload: 2,479 as of 8/23/2013 at 14:07 Pacific Time.)
if you have BPD and not feeling stable don't go near the comments. love yourself enough to avoid the morbid curiosity and drama.
@@phangirlable you are acting bpd
It's ok
Rage on
No one cares
That was excellent giving caution.
Thank you
I have bpd and the mimicking thing is something I've been doing since a very young age. I'm 30 now and I still have no sense of who I am. I have no identity. It's an awful feeling. I was abused at 15 and emotionally I stopped developing at that age. I often feel like a child trapped in an adults body and in a very adult world and it's scary. I don't know if anyone else feels this way too?
*****
I am a transgender man and was diagnosed with BPD in 2012. It is incredibly difficult to separate feelings of being in the "wrong" body with no sense of self to begin with. I've been told by some that BPD is just a label they slap on you if you're trans, but I've read a lot of books on BPD and I'm certain this is what I have been living with most of my life. There isn't one explanation, answer, or remedy. Everyone is similar in some ways but very, very unique in others, and so I think it's best if the mental health community treats all issues with care, taking into account each person's experiences and feelings. I believe my reality is that I am a person who is both transgender and has BPD. Think about these things on a scale or spectrum--everyone falls somewhere on the line with a certain amount of variation.
Yes I do
PepsiMouse1 yep. no idea what I'm meant to do
PepsiMouse1 yeah you're not alone. most of us are littles.
Butter Cup amen
Having BPD - A very lonely, depressing, frightening life. Not knowing myself, why I'm on this earth, the purpose and meaning of being alive, feeling lousy all the time, pretending or even thinking that I'm as happy as the people around me by making them laugh but feeling so lonely and numb when all alone, confused, wondering "it's all my fault", self blame, vulnerable, too trusting but also afraid to trust, feeling so empty, isolated, many many many more......
You described what I feel everyday.
Hang in there my friends. Concentrate on the good and stay strong. I love you all.
This sounds more like depression :/
*****
Depression is the blanket description for this much more specific disorder. Depression, to me, would be a freaking cake walk compared to the constant roller coaster of emotions, my most frequent emotional state being a combo of dread, hopelessness, and anxiety. It's so miserable, you feel like you want to crawl out of your skin.
well shit. Maybe I have both
I always feel so much less alone and like a freak when I hear other people's experiences with BPD and can relate.
My best friend has BPD and she is one of the most wonderful and kindhearted people on earth.
If I had a time machine, I'd travel back to the day after her mother fell pregnant with her and cut her abusive piece of shit father's throat before he could ever get a chance to hurt her.
Even if that meant we would never cross paths...
She is so incredibly brave and strong - I have nothing but love and respect for her. I probably wouldn't last a week in her shoes.
I wish I could help her to not be in pain anymore.
U seem like a great friend
She's very lucky to have you as her friend!!
Lmao. Yea blame it on your father.
bpd have upsides aswell it ain't all bad.
also egy, how do you think narcs and psychos are made?
I just want to say that you can be "recovered" (of course there's chance for relapse!). I have worked incredibly hard over the few years and am so proud of myself. I have lingering anxiety but it's manageable. My moods are regulated (without medication) my huge abandonment fears are about a 3/10, and as a whole my life is fantastic. I graduated university, have an awesome job, engaged and have a fantastic social and family life. There is a light at the end of the tunnel - be stubborn with your condition, don't let it dictate your life.
+Cato Solus YES! you tell her!!!! omg you're so bpd :O i could genuinely have mistaken this for a comment id left myself!
mastamind487 I have BPD too. I completed Dialectical Behavioural Therapy which consisted of DBT skills group plus individual therapy.
Shannon Hultgren thank you for sharing this... I'm not in a good place with it...but slowly trying to put a plan together....wishing you all the best xo
but if you bpd ppl get your life straight you will have better lifes than most and also your lifes are already interesting, quit complaining you guys have shitons of upsides, way more than someone who "just" suffers from etc depression, autism.
Ang Lam did it help I’m looking into doing it too
Remember guys and guys, this debilitating condition affects both sexes. I was diagnosed earlier in 2013 with this after 7 years of mis diagnosis of Bipolar type 2. Everything is super hard on some days, at the moment I am going through a bereavement breakup from 2 months back, it may be something trivial for most men.. Nothing is easy.. Much love to you all that are dealing with this day to day x
This is true. There is a serious bias in diagnosis of BoPD. Males with it tend to be diagnosed with bipolar and/or substance abuse disorder unless (1) they cross a very high bar of borderline traits or (2) they're gay or gender-variant. I think this is because clinicians are told in their education that this is a predominantly female disorder; this belief has a way of shaping clinical observations.
Much love to you too
thanks Jamie :)
***** Well said. I agree
I was also misdiagnosed as having Bipolar 2. First it was Major Depressive Disorder, then Bipolar 2, then recently a couple years ago I was finally properly diagnosed with Quiet BPD
BPD is very hard to live with. Many articles and research is condescending and bias it makes BPD sufferes feel bad and evil. And infact BPD is a very painful disorder to live with. The constant liking and hating of people, the impulsive behavior such as drinking and taking drugs, the radical changes in body image and identity change. These cognitions are very hard to live with and this must be sympathized with.
True - so please don't take children with you on this journey.
Richard Simpson i disagree, i've managed to supress my destructive symptoms through healthy living, yoga and meditation, as well as reading philosophy
Great to hear mike, wish all BPD were like you. Trouble is, those that are destructive normally assume there's nothing wrong with them.
Richard Simpson oh i've done terrible things to people, partners specifically, but i've realised what i did and have apologiesed
Bloody right its hard to live with. I up and down and up and down and nothing ever on a level or happy. When I haapy I can deal with the world and then I suddenly go down hill for hour and back up. I am worn out with it.I hate the world and hate everyone and totally empty with life I just live for living sake. Not mad or bad yet I get into alsorts of narrow scrapes and can't even trust anyone. The hospital has failed me and now I lock myself away in my home as I feel the only person who likes me is me but I don't. I feel sad now so I will go.
Every time I hear about BPD its a sense of relief for me. I have never been formally diagnosed but I fit all the criteria and when I hear people talking about their experiences its like they are telling my story.
You are not alone brother believe me. It took me years to figure this out and I am 46! Don't give up ok?
Promise. I won't!
I think doctors are apprehensive about telling people their diagnosis because they think the patient will cling to the diagnosis as an identity (which we all want and need). For me, this wasn't the case. I, like you, figured it out long before anyone else, and presented my concerns to my social worker who then was able to piece together a workable behaviour plan based on my detective work in figuring out (on my own) what was wrong with me. Ultimately, it was the road to my own recovery (or manageability). I believe people with BPD are acutely aware of others and self-aware. :)
I cant believe that parents get away with cruelty and slapping and hitting their children. It can fuck up your life you let it it. The thing is..you always wonder what the hell you that was so bad to deserve
You always have to remember, it wasnt you! It was them and their sickness. I hope this helps someone
The husband towards the end, hats off to you my friend. That's how people need to be in relationships when BPD effects one of the partners. We need to stay strong when others have walk away, and understand the person w/ BPD hates it just as much as you, but 100x more. As a sufferer and an ex of someone who had similar issues, its a blessing when you find someone who is willing to work with you in order to deal with and possibly break through this debilitating condition.
My boyfriend has mental disorders as well, although not BPD.
It is hard. I know my boyfriend deserves all the love and attention in the world and I am willing to be strong for him. But I can't give up my own health for him. And no-one has to do, it is not healthy.
In the moment it is still bearable. If it get to the point where my own health is damaged I have to leave him though, although I know he as it so much harder.
Great video and testimonies. Many people who love someone with BPD end up suffering from mental trauma as a result of their exposure to the disorder, and should seek counseling or therapy as well. I am still affected after six years removed from a relationship which was 10 years in duration. I had to have her committed 4 times. I finally left the relationship after she repeatedly refused to enter herself into long-term therapy. This was necessary for my own sanity.
No matter how much you love a person with BPD, you are doing yourself and them no favors by remaining in the relationship if they refuse to get help. You should not expose yourself to this for 10 years as I did. It's extremely sad and depressing to leave someone you love and worry about. But if they are not going to get help you need to think about your own mental health and happiness, because they won't magically ever get better and will pull you into their hell.
Getting help is not easy! There is no cure but only DBT therapy which is not available to everyone. This disorder itself and lifestyle is known to be a mental breakdown. It's being in the dungeon of hell and not being able to escape. Borderlines are not just damaged due to childhood but for some it's genetics and they haven't developed emotionally and feel emotions soo intensely that it's been said as it being equivalent to 3rd degree burns! That's very powerful. Some also have ADHD, dissociation and others disorders which makes it extremely hard to get help or to turn up to all therapy appointments. DBT is not available to all anyway so no other option to get help. They are just highly sensitive souls. The quiet borderlines are not as hard to put up with. People forget some borderlines are highly empathetic as well. I understand this pain and also those of you who had to live with someone with it. You have every right to leave and to take care of your own mental health but you need to stop saying that they are not helping themselves or don't want to! There's so much behind it.
hey so i was diagnosed with bpd when i was 22, and got dbt, cbt, and a lot of other forms of therapy since i was 16, suspected bpd when i was 17. but. when i turned 22, i felt suddenly like i was my own person. i wasnt a chameleon anymore. i have become a great communicator in my relationships. i actually kind of like myself. i can handle rejection, even being abandoned and my strong emotions. to the people out there dealing with the worst of bpd, things get better. its managable. i promise.
I have not sought out help from a psychiatrist, with the closest thing being going to a MD after separation from my partner of 3 years. I have not been diagnosed with BPD, but I relate a lot with what I know of it.
I have a long history of feeling wrong, like an outsider, a stranger in my younger years. I was rejected a lot. Despite having a better situation now of people around me who don't judge, I find it incredibly hard to talk candidly or relax. I don't know how to "Be myself". Like the lady in the video, I feel like a chameleon trying to imitate others who I am speaking to, who I am in relationships with, who are in my life. This is because I don't know who I am. I have low self esteem and I feel like any idea of self that I come up with is never good enough. It's because I don't want to be rejected. It's because I want to feel "normal", so I try to be like "normal" people.
Key values in life such as the morals i hold, religious values etc depend on who I am with. I don't feel like I can ever choose something for myself.
I have trouble understanding whether someone is joking or being insulting, social cues, etc. I've burnt so many bridges and destroyed relationships because of my intense feelings.
I feel extremely detached from the outside world. My world is an internal one, with thoughts and emotions raging about. I always feel lonely, despite having many great people in my life. Being by myself is very hard, any many times due to overwhelming loneliness and negative feelings and thoughts, I have considered and attempted suicide.
I feel like I need intimacy. Now that I am single, and have been for the past year, I feel as though I'm slowly decaying inside. An empty void.
Overall, my feelings and thoughts don't give me much time to relax. There's always something to feel wrong about, something to add to the heavy emotional burden i bear. I try to drown it out through impulsive activities. through watching TV surfing the web for any and all kinds of distractions. This leads me to hating myself and thinking negative thoughts about wasting time and being a loser, and the cycle continues.
I have a recorded history of intense anxiety. I think up the worst situations possible and almost always believe they will come true.
I love myself, but I hate feeling wrong.
For someone who is not a sufferer, this may be hard to understand. It may be hard to understand that I don't want pity. I don't want people telling me I have it hard or someone else has it worse.
All I want is to be normal.
This really doesn't help the stigma that it's only women who have it. The whole documentary it literally looks like tea time with the girls. I'm a guy and I have it and many, many others do too.
Same here
I have an idea...give yourself a voice. Not only peak here, speak out. UA-cam is free. You are welcome to share and create. Get your voices heard, as well. This is not a gender-based issue, but the person creating this video chose a female venue to discuss. Perhaps, because she was the most comfortable interviewing women. That said, please add your stories, create your versions that add to the discussion. You may be surprised at how welcomed they are:)
+CpnStbn12 yeah....this pisses me off a lil bit (and yes, i commented)....get into studying MEN with REAL problems who been in jail, done different drugs, tried to kill themselves, REALLY been hurt in romantic relationships but cant get the support they need just because they are MEN....i can go on and on about what happened to me personally, which beat all of this soft shit on this "documentary"....
well said, really needs to be voiced, this is so sanitized.
+Gregory Morales I don't think it's about whose problems are more "real".. That aside, I've been through most of that as a female.. I don't think it's about gender, but I agree 100% that BPD among men is something that definitely needs more awareness.
Good luck to all of my sisters and brothers also living with this illness. Thinking of you always. Xx
I love this documentary! Makes me feel less alone ♡ To anyone you who have BPD like myself, you are loved and so amazing! Stay strong!!
It has been 1 year since my official diagnosis. I have been doing DBT for the last year, not as consistently as I should but none the less making strides. The hardest part is my husbands shaming and BPD labeling- it makes me feel less than human. Having the diagnosis seems to have created a double edged sword. Hearing others find the words that I can't say helps immensely to restore my sense of humanity. Thank you for this video.
I suffer with BPD, Depression and Anxiety I feel so out of place like I don't belong
That's what I have too :) I'm going to start seeing a therapist regularly soon if I can force myself to leave the house! Haha. Maybe you should try with me!
I am not in any way diminishing the impact of BPD on those who suffer from it. But maybe it is "common" because the psychological practitioners are lazy and don't want to dig down deep. They said i had it, then just treated me like I was being a spoiled brat, now I'm in full blown agoraphobia, panic attacks, serious anxiety and suicidal depression. And the list goes on and on. There seems to be no respect for mental illness in general. Thanks for this.
The last two days ive been a complete mess. When i had the symptoms of bpd read out to me i felt a powerful rush of emotion come up. I related to everything i heard. Since the age of 13 i had been on anti depressants, attended sessions with psychiatrists, psychologists, psychotherpastists, and so many other therapies...i did 15 years of tranformation work... Nothing hit home like it did on sunday... Im now 50 and i finally feel like i can put a name to the destructive force that has ruled over me for almost 40 years. Thanks for posting this video.
Borderlines who have sane loved ones who want to help - this is a new concept for me.
Run. Run like the wind from these crazy assholes.
Male Sentient Void Still bullying, I see...
my boyfriend is like this, just so good. I feel like I'm ruining his life. I just have to believe that he does love me, even though I can't feel that love. it almost feels fake or something! and I feel like a shit person for thinking and feeling this way. I think it just takes a loooot of work on both sides to maintain some semblance of a good relationship.
This has no men in it. Kinda makes BPD men feel a bit ignored with their problems. Its a lovely documentary still.
I agree it only adds to the stigma that it's a "female" disease. My male BPD best friend is the one who suggested I get re-diagnosed.
Agree. Kinda feel alienated..
I also wish there were more resources for men struggling with BPD. It's not a woman's illness, it's a human illness and I think a lot more men struggle with it than is currently documented because it's hard for men in our society to be able to address their emotions and they definitely need more attention as far as the professional mental health world, they shouldn't be ignored, especially with something as difficult as BPD.
Being someone who fell in love with a BPD male I understand your perspective and thus understand why you would FEEL this video does not address you all (BPD men) directly, but understand that feeling is one of the symptoms of BPD. I’m sure that the creator by no means meant to ignore males with BPD. I have empathy for anyone suffering from this condition. I am a very understanding person, but I find myself at a loss being able to handle the triggers with anything other than to withdraw which obviously makes it worse.
no, it doesn't made me ignored at all..
I was officially diagnosed with BPD in December of 2021.
My wife, during a recent argument told me again that I've been accusing her of cheating on me for 38 years...our entire marriage.
So I have come to realize that I've had BPD forever...paranoia, fear of abandonment, etc.
I recently began a Zoom skills class in DBT, am hoping it will change my life as an old friend told me it has hers.
I really enjoyed this video, and will be sharing it with my wife right away.
Best of luck on your journey!
Thank you so so much for this. I am in the early stages of being diagnosed with BPD after a lifetime of struggling with myself and didn't really know much about it when my psychiatrist mentioned it to me, but after watching this I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so hopeless, I've finally found something I identify with and can share with others to help them understand me better too. Thank you so much. This is life-changing for me.
God bless you ☺
I see men in this thread feeling marginalized by the lack of representation of men with BPD and it's understandable. I've seen some posters in this thread attack these men, even one post that told a man to "man up". I wish borderliners wouldn't attack one another in this way since we should understand more than anyone the affect words can have on us. Please be supportive to each other, man or woman.
+Clint Moore As a man diagnosed with BPD in the early 1980's, I have dealt with the illness for over 30 years now and witnessed crazy acting bitches trying to own the diagnosis. As someone who has never taken any meds, but who has worked through the issues with a combination of intelligence, martini's and humor, I just have to sit back and laugh when some of these people go off and try to give it the melodrama of Othello.
+Clint Moore I have no concerns about being linked to a mental disorder normally confined to the fairer sex. I have no problem being looked upon as a crazy bitch and in fact can out-crazy a bitch in a hot second. As men we have physical strength + emotional ability. A large portion of male inmates test positive for BPD. I tell my friends (over martini's ) that I would rather be a self medicating drunk than an incarcerated murderer.
The reason men aren't permitted in women's groups isn't because they're 'man-haters' - its because the majority of women who are diagnosed with BDP are abuse, rape and incest survivors perpetrated by men. I understand that men in this thread want to bond over feeling marginalised, but why do you need to do it at the expense of making fun of women? As you say its a social issue, so maybe try being more sensitive to the fact that it isn't women who are keeping you from these services, it is the medical establish,ent which, newsflash, is largely consisting of men
Do these people ever have regret for all the deliberately inflicted pain and harm they have done to the people in their path? Or is it all about them?
This is a gross misrepresentation of BPD and what the people with the disorder appear like when they are full tilt abusers. I am not stating that to seek treatment is a waste of time for people with BPD. I am stating that anyone with the actual disorder who can understand that they are a danger to the people closest to them should absolutely seek treatment...but.The treatment they receive has to be the right kind and administered by trained professionals (both treatment and medication).This vid does not in any way address what people with BPD actually do to others nor the danger they represent particularly to anyone young.People with BPD can be masterful and instinctive deceivers. People who love them are particularly at risk due to and already strong need to believe them and or believe in them.It cannot be overstated just how dangerous some of these people are and how ill equipped society is to identify them for what they are BECAUSE of what they are.Yes they need help but only from professionals and only if it can be determined that they are truly seeking it.Anyone and everyone else protect yourselves and do not look at "info" contained in this vid as an explanation or justification for the abuse of BPD.DO YOUR OWN REASEARCH. SPEAK TO ONLY THE QUALIFIED. PROTECT YOURSELF AND THE YOUNG.
I have this disorder, its extremely difficult and frustrating. Mine myself and why many other women experience this is because of sexual abuse as a child. When i think back i can see how disgusting and wrong and how violated i have been. People need to recognize this and we as united people need to protect children from this god awful crime. If your attracted to children seek help immediately. Don't ruin their lives.
Feelings are OK. They're natural. Acknowledge the feeling when it arises, don't judge it or react to it. Just endure it. KNOW that it will pass and a new feeling will take it's place. If the feeling is too strong, KEEP YOUR MIND BUSY! Do crafts, art, read, etc. This is ONLY a feeling, NOT a fact. Breath in and out. Sit with the feeling, it's OK. You won't fall apart. This is part of being a human. It is part of the adventure. You are not bad for feeling this. You are OK. Endure it, accept it. Know that it will pass. You do NOT need to "do something" about your feeling. Feelings are not facts. I was borderline, but I've been in DBT now for 4 years. YOU CAN DO THIS!
ҳ̸Ҳ̸ҳ Sage ҳ̸Ҳ̸ҳ Thank you for this! I struggle so much with this. That brought me back some peace and something to work on. :)
You're welcome sweety, just ride out the storm and know it will pass. I recently started making jewelry and selling it on etsy and then I got a bunch of rats lol. It definitely helps to stay busy doing something you love, because mindfullness is the key. Living in the moment and staying completely focused in the PRESENT. Like if you're eating an ice cream cone, feel the texture, smell it, focus on the senses in that moment. It sounds strange but when you train your mind to do that over and over, it helps SO much with overcoming a strong emotion.
ҳ̸Ҳ̸ҳ Sage ҳ̸Ҳ̸ҳ Thanks again! I heard so much about Etsy. I enjoy drawing and gaming. I like to dance but not professionally. I always have a rhythm going on! it is very hard to stay in the present these days. I seem to get blindsided and end up in more pain when I'm not on complete guard.
+ҳ̸Ҳ̸ҳ Sage ҳ̸Ҳ̸ҳ I have lived a long time with out treatment, and because of that find myself in a world of shit. BPD destroys lives and I would like to find DBT, but now the affects from the previous are making in hard to do anything basically.
I totally understand. I also had agoraphobia (terrified of leaving your home) Just know that it's way easier than your brain is imagining. Once you force yourself there, all you have to do is sit there. You don't have to speak if you don't want to, and everyone there totally understands if your panicky or anything like that.
This is something you MUST do. It is a top priority. Find a place, get over there, and listen. I know alot of shit gets confusing and you don't know where to start, it's like a blur. So first step, find a place and call them, second step go to class, third step, go back home. Don't complicate it, just do it. It's more important you go to treatment than ANYTHING ELSE. It will save your life my dear, and you've suffered long enough. It's time to get those emotions under control, and trust me, dbt WILL help you do it if you commit :)
Thank you for this Debbie! There are so many hateful vlogs on youtube and not enough compassionate ones about BPD!
I have BPD, schizoaffective disorder, and ptsd thanks for sharing, posting this on my face book page.
Thank you so much for your kind comment, Johan. Hoping that one day your loved one and her daughter will get the help they need.
This documentary encouraged me to see a doctor. I didn't keep up with it, I didn't want just medicine, but I appreciate the work put into this video.
You shouldn't have to chose medication as the only answer. There are other treatments available and they can really make a difference.
Thalia bahbito I would like to try therapy, but I don't think I can afford it.
Try viewing Recover Mum here on UA-cam - she has recorded a whole DBT set of videos. Although no substitute for fullDBT therapy they do help to give you a starting point for self-study and really are worth spending the time on.
Tony Burnett Thanks very much. I'll check it out.
I had a borderline parent. I feel sorry for BPD people on account of the traumas that many (most? all?) of them have suffered and have contributed to making them who they are. However, my own experience with my BPD parent, as well as with a number of BPD people whom I have known as friends, has suggested to me that a non-BPD person should never get into a relationship with a BPD person. I wouldn't touch one with a ten-foot pole. One BPD person in my life was enough for a hundred lifetimes. No one is worth the trouble, suffering and tragedy they bring into your life. No one.
When you take on a BPD gf, you're not taking on a relationship, you are taking on a full time job. They can't help it, but the man said "I just learned to keep my mouth shut".. so how is that healthy for the men?
If this was a 90% men ebing BPD how many women would say "I just learned to keep my mouth shut?" they'd be marching in thousands vs mysgonists.. It's fucking crazy.
I feel bad for these women, but they don't need relationships, they need help.
This documentary brought me to tears because it was spot on. I was diagnosed at 18 in a half during my 3rd stay in a psychiatric ward. I was so impulsive, angry, depressed, sensitive and anxious. Since my diagnoses I'v worked endlessly to help myself and others to understand and at first i had a hard time accepting and dealing with it. 3 years later now i am 20 years old and i hold my head high
Shannon congrats on getting your life on track. The individual who I no longer deal with, is OCD about everything except for herself. She will not acknowledge that she is ILL, she will micro manage everything and everyone except herself. Pisses me off that ppl like that will cause all kinds of hell and then bounce away as if to say, oh well! I swear I really do think that every other person has this condition.
Another thing that pisses me off, is that ppl with disorders get a spot light shined on their foreheads, and documentaries are everywhere, while their victims have no support whatsoever. I am still struggling to recover from the sht that this person has put me through.
Very well said and most definitely.
I have borderline disorder, I've been fighting against it for four years now. After getting involved in drugs, alcohol, severe cutting, bulimia, anorexia and ultimately 3 suicide attempts, without counting geting in and out of psychiatric hospitals 3 times.
Now I'm proud of being almost 2 years of cutting, bulimia, anorexia, drugs and alcohol, free . My life is far away from sustainable and happy but I'm getting there.
Now I'm freer, happier, along the way I was able to realise the amazing family and friends that I have, and specially I have hope and the knowledge that I want to live this life no matter what, because I know im strong enough
Don't give up believe me, It really does get better, but NOBODY SAID IT WAS EASY--
+Camila Cabrera That's wonderful. Thank you for the encouraging words.
For a long time, I was diagnosed with unspecified personality disorder. After paying for private treatment, I was given the diagnosis of, borderline personality disorder, depression, anxiety and OCD.
Thank you for sharing this video, it's been very though provoking and made me feel less alone. Thank you!
Dialectical Behaviour Therapy is great, but man I need constant refreshers. Nerves are always on the surface despite pharmacology. Thanks for sharing your stories.
Kat McNamara weed
For those who say borderlines or their loved ones don't get help need to realise that getting help is not easy! There is no cure but only DBT therapy which is not available to everyone. This disorder itself and whole lifestyle is known to be a mental breakdown. It's being in the dungeon of hell and not being able to escape or help yourself. Borderlines are not just damaged due to childhood but for some it's genetics and they haven't developed emotionally and feel emotions soo intensely that it's been said as it being equivalent to 3rd degree burns! That's very painful. Some also have ADHD, dissociation and others disorders which makes it extremely hard to get help or to turn up to all therapy appointments. DBT is not available to all anyway so no other option to get help and trying to treat borderlines who are so damaged with addictions is like expecting a miracle to happen! It's almost impossible. They are just highly sensitive souls who were designed very sensitive and emotional. The quiet borderlines are not as hard to put up with and don't have outbursts of anger. People forget some borderlines are highly empathetic as well and not all are lacking it. I understand this pain and also those of you who had to live with someone with it. You have every right to leave and to take care of your own mental health but you need to stop saying that they are not helping themselves or don't want to! No one wants to be in this prison but it's a war going on in their head and heart with their emotions that they can't escape. There's so much behind this and not what people think the disorder is about
Bpd is awful but after dating an abusive bpd sufferer I don't have much tolerance for people like that anymore and as a male who was mentally and physically abused by a female I say to you get help.
I don't know if this has been said here already and maybe it's very obvious to some people, but my personal belief in BPD is an underlying abandonment issue and severe fear of rejection. that's why you mirror other people: you attach to them because you have an unfulfilled need to have an attachment, you're a people pleaser because you just don't want to be left alone and you start to develop different "faces". You hate so much being alone that you absolutely adore other people and "bathe" in them, but because you're scared that they're going to leave you ("like everyone always does"), you run away from them as fast as you can just so they can't do that to you.
When you're being left alone, you uncontrollably screaming and crying and getting angry is your inner child reacting not only to that specific situation, but all of those kind of situations since you were very, very young and were only a feeling being and not a rational one. for example, a young child who is taken away from their parents can feel as if it was something personal from their parents' behalf. The parent failed on fulfilling the child's need of being protected. The child feels as if it is not important enough to get the need fulfilled.
What I'm trying to say is that I firmly believe that if we all (ESPECIALLY THERAPISTS) would pay much more attention and do more research on abandonment issues, BPD WOULD be curable unlike the video is stating. I'm not usually commenting on YT videos but numbing the symptoms of BPD by pumping different medications into people is something I see as a VERY severe issue in today's healthcare. Let's all think more about rejection and abandonment as it is something everyone can relate to to a certain degree. We'd all be so much happier, not only people with BPD. Please.
I ran from my Dx. For years. It was a death sentence in the 80's. The hardest things is the shame and guiltat what an asshole I must have been. I know it was not because I am evil. Just sick. I have no idea why my friends stayed as long as they did. I'm healing, working. However, I choose to be alone 95% of the time. Society, and therapists tell me how I am supposed to be. It didn't work out. So, I live on my own terms. I was always neglected, so I spun it. I am comfortable with myself. I am pretty content. I have half a dozen people in my life. I spend one evening out a week. Being institutionalize as a teen made me not know how to live in your world. It is a disgusting place with deceitful people. I don't have the right armor to fight in out here.
Not alone :') Thank you everyone who made this
Hard to consistently feel sorry who systematically abuse their partners psychologically. Because of the fear of loss and abandonment they become jealous, controlling, and emotionally abusive. Like the whole "I'm going to kill myself if you leave"- that's emotional abuse. I understand they have a disorder, but I mean, sociopaths have a disorder. Doesn't make it okay to hurt other people. My BPD boyfriend was very abusive in every way and while he was in pain, he consistently minimized other people's feelings (which is what happens when you are super sensitive). Sadness isn't the only way these people express themselves in relationships. Anger is a huge problem too. I hate to say it, but I can never date a BPD again- it would put ME in the psych hospital. And this is coming from someone who dealt with a bf with Bipolar I (serious delusions sometimes). My point is not to demonize Boderline, I just want people to be careful. They will do anything to make you stay. Make stuff up, say mean things, say they'll hurt themselves, hurt your family, cry, scream. It's dangerous.
Thank you so much for sharing, Jason!
Thank you for this video!! It took me years to get diagnosed. It was not until recently that I started to speak up about my own borderline diagnosis. I hope we can help to change the negative stigma of borderline and encourage more people to get the help they need! I love you! Thank you sooo much
Eastern philosophy says "don't believe your thoughts." What a radical concept but oh so true. If you can learn to tune out the incessant chatter of your mind (thoughts) and know deep within yourself that what your mind thinks is NOT WHO YOU ARE, then you are on the road to awareness (healing). Meditation, creative outlets, nature, can help.
Donna Shinall If that were possible, the therapists would be out of a job.
Donna Shinall yes Donna...YES.
It is possible. And this is the best comment. You have to try!
Yes!!! I started reading a lot about Eastern philosophy and it really made a difference to me, more than professional therapy and medicine did (not saying that they are not important, just stating my experience).
my ex is borderline, it was the worst 4 years of my life.
Very recently diagnosed with BPD and love addiction. Very grateful for the honesty of these women and hearing the similarities I have with them. I love that one woman has a supportive spouse. And seeing these women on the other side of it is encouraging. I'm still figuring this all out and it has been life-saving but also terrifying at the same time.
Thanks so much Takeshi for all of your ongoing support. ♥
I was diagnosed with this yesterday. Great documentary. Though I do wish I could have heard a male perspective. Thanks to whoever made this though.
heres the male perspective for you....its a roller coaster ride of sadness and anger...and once in a while, a few minutes of happiness....but mainly sad and angry with a lot of anxiety
Awful that there are so many horrid comments, especially on a sensitive video regarding mental health. People that have BPD are struggling with their intense emotions anyway without feeling attacked by you trolls. Live a day in somebody else's life before passing judgement!
This Documentary is so to the point. The people interviewed in it give you a wide spectrum of how things go about with someone with BPD. So accurate. Recovering BPD people are real warriors !!! Yeah!
Such a beautiful and compassionate documentary. So often even therapists view BPD sufferers as scary monsters for which there is no hope. It is so refreshing to see a documentary showing hope and insightful patients.
The imbalance in sexual power between men and women comes into play here too. As men we are often starved of nurturing emotional contact and hunt for it in sexual relationships. Women are educated that good girls reject these advances. Consequently men with wounds in this area experience the searing pain or rejection and the resulting self-blame time after time after time. As a coping strategy I think many men numb out their desire completely or channel it into safer arenas such as work or sport. Or they settle down with women who are available rather than desirable - with their sexual urges then emerging with other women and leading to affairs and financially crippling divorces. I think it is important to see these types of behaviours as coping strategies and not just men being dicks who should be judged and shunned. In short: let's have compassion for men here too and more sex positive education in schools.
I have bipolar and bpd...and im married with a son. Nothing is impossible...
Good for you! I've not been able to hold relationships with men. They all end in a few months and follow a similar pattern. My relationship with men is interesting and attractive in the beginning and they love to spend time with me, just before I push them away. I am so fed up with breakups!
I would imagine your more bipolar then BPD and the reason they feel your BPD is because of your highs and lows.
Because you can't respect someone you have to trick into loving you
QuartuvLarry No...don't even do that!
chanelle burke You should have never had children.
so happy many of you are resonating with this documentary. lets spread the word that there is hope for bpd.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with DBT and for your kind comment.
One think I noticed about those that are in "recovery" is that they are all very lonely people. They have found the joy in being alone, sure, but they don't seem to have any interpersonal relationships or love of other people. That seems like a terrible way to live.
+Adam Borders It is. People can be cruel. They all think you are being "overly dramatic" in reality we dont know that boundary.
+Adam Borders I have BPD and am in recovery. I have a ton of love for other people and enjoy the company of friends and other loved ones very much. I don't always believe they actually like me, I often worry about them abandoning me at any given moment, and I AM terribly lonely (even when around people) - but I've gained enough awareness to know those are symptoms of BPD. The core of BPD is a deep sense of loneliness. It feels like total disconnection from the rest of the human race. You feel like you don't fit into it, you don't belong. Not that you're special or better or anything - it just feels like you're missing something that everyone else has. Whatever spark it is that makes people really alive. People can tell you and show you they love you, but you rarely ever feel loved. Because it feels like there's nothing inside of you that's deserving of love. I think a lot of people in recovery have withdrawn from social interaction because of this. I, on the other hand, have chosen to remind myself that those thoughts/feelings are those of my illness and not reflections of reality.
+Leo Luna I literally have purposely abandoned the idea of people, except for my parents and like 3 people. I understand bpd, so it makes me feel less bad. It's a reason I have always felt so different. However, you are right. At 33 I have gotten used to the idea that I will probably never be in a functional relationship. I love my solitude and to travel. I can deal with interpersonal relationships for short periods of time. Im going on and on to say this, even though I can get lonely, I do enjoy my life.
Being alone is actually a much more relaxing and comfortable way to live when you are someone who is at constant high alert and in a state of anxiety when you're close to anyone. Its exhausting and for some people can actually be really self-destructive. If you genuinely understand the condition, you can surely see why being alone could often actual be more enjoyable for many people. Try to think from that perspective and not judge the way they've chosen to live.
I've been just diagnosed properly, your comment has made me cry.
"Threatening that I would hurt myself in some way, because I felt so desperate, for whoever it was not to leave me and I didn't know any other way. And I found that that one worked, to really grab someone's attention and make them care and not wanting to leave". Stated differently: I would leverage on the good intentions of the other person in order to manipulate them to stay with me even if they wanted to leave. Make them care (=forcing them to "care") and not wanting to leave (=not allowing them to just leave) People with BPD are emotional vampires, they manipulate others in order to feel safe. In this sense the other people are just a mean to an end for them. If you meet a person with BPD just RUN!
Amagi Agreed. I painfully stayed with a family member because I thought love would make them better, or changing myself. It's mental and physical hell. This is no true disorder. This is like saying extreme obesity is a disorder. No it's not, it's an excuse for the manipulation and leeching to continue. There may be a root to the issue, true but it's up to that person if they want to change or not. It's not a matter of not knowing what they are doing. That's bs. When you abuse someone and play the victim, change your behavior around people to look good, and use people until there's nothing left, that is intentional. You can't accidentally manipulate and torture someone. Ask these narcissistic people what they think about their victims and they get offended or deny or never accept responsibility. They truly are vampires and they will suck out everything and have you questioning yourself. Even if you've always done the best you can. They will gas light you until you lose yourself trying to help them. Take a step back and observe their behavior and try not to react, they go insane. Like a spoiled child! I realized I was as an enabler of my own torture because I put up with this toxic abuse for so long, even though so many people, including therapists and doctors, told me to leave my own family member because she was killing me slowly. I love her still but I can't be around her without feeling extreme pain. She refuses to see her actions. No matter who they are, a narcissist is a narcissist. It's by choice, always by choice. Period. I've been through horrid things and yet I made the choice to never be like the narc people in my life at all. You are right, when you see a person like this run, far away.
@@chibimisaki2970 yes and that is the terrible thing about it.. the people who have to deal with the fallout.. A choice?.. yes to a point.. for me not knowing what is real or not is hard.. every small thing is a personal dig and triggered constantly.. another nail in the huge pile of stuff that had broken my spirit.. Recently been diagnosed and the shame was incredible about the tragic mess left behind. . when that BPD part disconnects, it is v hard to pull it back in. Becoming aware is step one, then deciding that I do not want to destroy my life and others around me.. gratitude and loving self talk is key
Thank you so much for making this documentary. A lot of people have so many stigmas about borderlines and as a sufferer of this illness it is very hard to hear those. Living with this disorder is a constant battle and it sometimes seems like there is no end in sight. So thank you once again for providing hope and giving others a perspective on this disorder that isn't often seen.
I had a bpd mother- I hate her ruined my life my brothers fled, I got lumbered with her.
I’m in that situation now. 😔
Moving piece, if the intended audience is BPD "sufferers". Unfortunately those diagnosed are not the only ones who "suffer". It would have been refreshing, healing, and uplifting for those of us out there reeling regularly from the repeated episodes of degradation, lies, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, raging, hatefulness, and manipulation at the hands of BPDers to have witnessed in your interviews a sense of remorse from your interviewees. They were all sorry about how the illness affected THEM, but no mention was made about how it affected those who love (or loved) them and why. Part of the COMMUNAL healing for this problem has to be to acknowledge that external part of the devastation and not just publicize BPD as a flocking point for personality disordered individuals to hide behind.
Sorry you went through all of that, Todd. But you haven't had experience will ALL people with BPD. Just like we can't taint all people from different races with the same brush, nor should you with BPD. Isn't that self-evident? I can see you're really angry, and I can guess that you've probably had bad experiences with more than one person with BPD, but I can tell you as a BPD sufferer, at least you (as a non-BPD sufferer) have the option to leave. You can leave and never look back. BPDs can NEVER leave their own hell. We can manage the disorder, but, it will always be there. I hope you can find peace.
Todd Hess do you know how hard it is to confront people you have truly hurt as a result of uncontrollable emotions? you will never experience guilt the way a borderline does. that is the one emotion that sits in our heads and eats us up. that is the one emotion that doesn't affect anyone but us but is more often the emotion that leads us to suicide attempts. imagine five peoples individual anger taken away from them and put into one human. thats a borderline. anger is like five angry people channeling in one person. sadness is like five sad people channeling there sadness into one person. it is so fucking intense and god holy shit you will never know.
+Todd Hess If you search "BPD" you'll see more than a handful of videos aimed specifically at the sufferers at the hands of some borderlines, in fact these days it's nearly half and half. No BPD's are welcome in their comments section. Perhaps you'll find solidarity there. The thing is, there seems to be this ugly divide of sufferers on both sides, feels like both sides are flying the victim flag, if that makes sense. This is not meant to be rude or to take away from anyone's experience, but the journey isn't easy and if we all want to actually heal and get better, we have to admit our mistakes and grant forgiveness to the people who hurt us, or it'll eat us away and fill us with more anger and hatred.
I agree BPD people are a fucking mess and cause so much destruction emotionally. It literally destroys lives. The victims are often blamed and the bpd person is set free from all responsibility because they have a psychological condition. This is not right. The focus should be on ALL the victims of this disorder.
we need a male version of this documentary, Bpd is a strange disorder as it is different in each sex, im a male 29 and have Bpd amongst other things...
Happy to see there are strong people out there, willing to change their lives and make their lives so much better. I was in a relationship with someone who keeps living in denial. I feel sorry for her and her daughter. You are strong women, my sincere sympathy !
Thank you so much for your video! Me & my husband just recently found out our 18 yr. daughter's diagnosis with BPD. Her doctor believes her symptoms might stem from a frontal lobe injury she sustained from and auto accident when she was a toddler. Even though we know what the diagnosis is, our daughter has no clue. She has regular appointments with her psychiatrist but does not think she needs more frequent therapy. Her doctor recommends that we just continue to educate ourselves and that eventually she will come around. We also just read the book "Stop Walking On Egg Shells". I feel that we are still walking on egg shells around her and constantly trying to remember what will trigger what when dealing with her or just in simple interaction on a daily basis. Very frustrating!
my wife and I have been married 10 years, they have all been hard! As a child(8-9yo) her father started molesting her, he would make her do things for him in order to get something From him. He would later get in trouble for molesting her childhood friends but my wife was blamed and ostracized by her family for telling police what he did to her (her Fuckin grandmother said she hated her for hurting her son). My wife would have eating problems, a gambling addiction(no drugs), terrible problems with money. I became an RN right when we married and worked evenings, in the beginning would get home and immediately start looking through my nursing books and notes while she accused me of cheating on her. I worked fulltime and it was so damn hard for me but she couldn't see that. I called her when ever I could but could never talk long, someone would come and say I was needed but wouldn't just let me hang up. She would see it as a slap in the face and grill me over what I had to do, who was the woman's voice, why couldn't she do it, and accuse me of cheating. She lied without seeming to realize she was, mostly about money. After our first child was born she started leaving the house right after me and going to her mother's, father is dead. She'd get home between 10 and 11 I'd get home after 12. She could not sit still unless she was in front of a slot machine or Keno or bingo. She would constantly be telling me that she loved me but I usually felt like it was just to get me to say it back to her. I was a telemetry/pedi nurse in a big hospital near Boston and was burning out fast. I was telling her she needed to help me more, stop wasting money, she smoked, bought lottery tickets, drove a 100 miles a day or more, ate fast food 3x day, and she didn't work. We were going broke. she convinced me she could help by taking care of the finances. I thought she could screw us over bad But she was an adult and hopefully she would realize she was spending too much and get a grip on her problems. That didn't happen. In less then a year she accrued close to 45 grand in debt. Our problems would only get worse. She never dealt with her childhood abuse, she was supposed to pretend it didn't happen. She has always appeared to be running away from things. I was stress from work but more so home life. Trying to help my wife, keep my family together in our home, and do my job where a single mistake was unacceptable led me to a couple of nasty breakdowns that I have yet to recover from. Life with my wife was like standing in a river trying to stop the water with just my body. She had No self control.
People have told me my wife probably has bpd but even though she has had numerous therapists she doesn't tell them the truth, at least, about herself. she has people convinced that I'm an angry monster, that is part truthful but give me a break, I've gone through hell. If anybody reads this what should I do? It sounds like bpd is at least part of our problem to me. I love my wife! In the beginning I wanted and tried to help her with all the shit she had been put through but I had too much going on and she was content to do what she had been doing. Deep down she is a good, loving, helpful, beautiful woman. I wanted to give her the chance to be that person all the time and still do
+s Humphrey It definitely sounds like BPD. My advice would be to go to therapy with your wife and make sure she's not manipulating the situation with the therapist. My partner failed to mention a whole year long manic episode followed by anger outbursts. She told her pharmacologist she was having trouble focusing and felt a bit depressed, which led to a diagnosis of adhd and depression. The first time I went to therapy with her, I let the therapist know the real situation and she ended up being diagnosed as having Bipolar Type II and BPD and we are now trying to work out different medications. To be honest, I think it would be more of a hinderance for you NOT to go to therapy the first few times, at least to let the therapist know the real deal.. Good luck!
MrMusic238 thank you for responding. The part about manipulation is what I feel has been going on for along time but I didn't realize what to call it. Thank you again, I think that is very good advice, I'll do what I can.
+s Humphrey
hi I'm living with my 29 yr old daughter who is very ill with this dx, find a therapist who has been specially trained in DBT, it's the only chance you guys have....I feel your pain but find it helpful in you sharing it with me/us....my daughter is so sick, lashing out at everyone, drugs, prostitution, ed, self mutilating, multiple hospitalizations and suicide attempts, time in jail, we lost my, 18 mth old grandson back in 2010 due to neglect....it's been soooo awful i cannot express my feelings very well. She has always been difficult, immature and unable to control her emotions. She's been dx with Adhd and depression, she did manage to graduation highschool, but when she got into drugs, that was it. The last 10yrs have been a nightmare. Oh she's been homeless many times, shooting herion, lying, has done many really awful things to us, including calling the police saying lies about abusing her! I kept thinking when she gets older and more mature, then she'll be ok, but it has never happened. When one psychiatrist in jail dx her with Bpd,, it was a GREAT relief, we finally Know what's wrong with her! She fit the criteria for like 8 out of the 9 criteria in the DSM4. What I do know is that this is curable because of DBT and if the patient is willing to get treatment then hope is possible.
Nadine
+s Humphrey So are you saying that you like a hard life
run Run RUn RUN RUNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!
I don't think my BPD can be cured.That would require my brain to be wiped clean of all memories so I would not be me. Following DBT and medication, I have good coping strategies to manage my symptoms rather than resorting to things that got me into trouble such as alcohol and self harm.
NEVER be cured? Oh good. Now we can give up on you. Bye.
QuartuvLarry What do you mean give up hope? I can learn to live with BPD and thus make life better with good coping strategies. This is radical acceptance rather than waiting for a magic wand. I have to live in reality.
Good. Now deal with it yourself, because it's nobody else's concern
QuartuvLarry You talk about solitude and riding trains...but then you come on here and bully BPD's? Dude...that's not cool.
Yes it is...when it's the BPD getting bullied, instead of their victims. That's when it's AWESOME!!!
I am living with my borderline boyfriend and wow it is exhausting. I don't like to see him struggle so much with everyday situations that seem so logical to me. learning to communicate more productively with him has been difficult as well but it has helped both of us. I love him. I hope he continues to get healthier. I am strong enough today. that is all I know. tomorrow I will reassess and if I am ever at the point of feeling drug down or weakened I will know our journey together is over and we will embrace new roads that go in separate directions. I will cherish the time we share because even though difficult I am getting to spend time with an amazing man who is suffering.
Excellent. bravo to all involved in the efforts on educating people on this disorder.
"Men do not stay..." Neither do women.
I have learned that men don't stay with me because I don't stay with me.
the numbers based on gender are totally off, as it has been proven that the numbers of men with BPD are much greater, but males usually do not seek help nearly as readily as women, and as well, the mortality due to suicide is much higher than women. i do wish there would have been more representation of the male population, ad i think that there was a fair amount of gender bias (not even a male sufferer of the affliction; i am one, after a misdiagnosis of bipolar - rapid cycling). i would have expected there would have been a bit less ignorance towards us.
exactly, but not to be anti-feminist, but it seems this video has merit, but has heavy gender bias in its representation of the faces of BPD
Males with BPD are sometimes misdiagnosed with Antisocial Personality Disorder due to the seeming denial of emotions and lack of empathy.
or misdiagnosed as PTSD (or in my case, BiPolar, took 6 years to fight to get a rediagnosis)
Really great documentary. Have BPD myself and felt I could relate to a lot of what the people in the film were sharing. It can be so confusing, scary and hopeless going through this without knowing what it is or how to deal with it. Therapy and learning how to express your feelings in a constructive way can change your life so much. Lots of love to anyone else that has this and if you think you may have it, get yourself into therapy because it is not too late to get better =]
Thanks so much. Glad you enjoyed! ♥
I think I am definitely a bit Borderline and always have been. Perhaps it stems from a personality of wanting to please. Then having parents/family where it seems impossible to please them at all, unless I was practically perfect. It felt like nothing was ever good enough and damned if I did or damned if I didn't. So you bounce trying to please one person and another and so on. Being a strong/independent type, honest and out-spoken, perhaps a rebellion about the whole thing set in. I find that I prefer to be alone rather than attach myself to anyone because I don't want to lose myself or my individuality. But I do always feel this sense of incompleteness and wanting to find someone who can be my soulmate or other half. We all have something we carry in life. It is the human condition. This sense of longing or feeling of neediness perhaps. As a Christian, I've just figured that God put that in us for a reason. God wants to be what we long for, complete us and we should really only seek to please God.
to all those people who are diagnosed with BPD,do you also experience severe physical pain? thank you
Thank you for sharing, Mia! ♥
Bless you for posting this!
Here's the deal. When your a victim of any type of abuse. You take that lesson and learn how to help others in the same situation. You don't repeat behaviors done to you, and cry victim. You were a victim, now your a victimizer. A survivor comes out the other side of a bad situation stronger, and empowered. Not using their past abuse as an excuse to victimize another. Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should, especially when it impacts another person's life. You just admitted in a proud manner your ability to manipulate even counsolers. . My mother was BPD, She was severely abused in every way as a small child. In her adult life she was a horrible mom, and person. Abusive Alcoholic, and addict. I was sick of her shit, when she attempted suicide in my living room, I told EMTs let her go. Once or twice a month she would put a shotgun to her mouth and pretend to attempt to pull the trigger with her big toe, after screaming at us kids and insinuating that her state of mind was our doing. Manipulation??? Sometimes if we were not around as her audience, she would sleep with the old Rusty gun next to her so we knew... Then she would always tell us how horrible her life was as a child. The victim never seeing what she does to others. I will say after her attempt in my living room, something in her died. She sobered up, and granted the dry drunk was just as miserable to deal with. 15 years it took her to accept some of the horrible things she had done to us kids.The last 5 years of her life all of us experienced a great healing.That only happened when she stopped using her past and diagnosis as an excuse, stopped playing the victim, and acknowledged how her own behaviors as an adult effected her and others. Sadly this woman overcame so many obstacles, and found her love of self.She became a nurse and Advocate for abuse victims. She died of a misdiagnosis. All of her crazy making was an admitted attempt to have us kids profess our love and devotion. lol She held another's opinion of her higher than she did her own, because she was never allowed as a child to develop one. As an adult she kept making choices that validated the others opinions which just fed her victim mentality. I married a man, and shared my life for 10 yrs with another man who is just like this. Everything is an excuse to remain a victim, to stay exactly where they are. Once any type of empowerment is established, it's like a switch is flipped and they go from BPD to NPD.. Especially if any type of sobriety is maintained. My ex would attempt to lecture me ( recoverd addict for 25 years, lol) on shit, when he was in a program for 5 months, telling me I need to sweep my side of the street anytime I held him accountable for poor behavior. EX OUR CHILDREN GOING HUNGRY, and leaving me $35000 in debt. Haha He Left me claiming His addiction was my fault, attempted to put an order of protection against me, when he was stalking me. His sobriety lasted as long as his rehab. I have not been a part of his life for over 2 years and he is even further down the rabbit hole. I am not a victim, everything is a learning experience. I am responsible for myself and this life. I share my story because spending a lifetime of watching the bullshit these personality disorders cause in others lives, then crying victim when called out pisses me off to no end. The only time I was abusive to my family is when I believed there was something wrong with me and I was put on medication because of what and how the BPD and NPD convinced me and my mental health Care provider to believe about myself. I realized I when the Meds gave me a chemical imbalance, and I Almost committed suicide, it's not me... it's them. I switched providers and started my journey of healing. I'm still not a victim because I allowed another's opinion of me influence how and what I believed about myself. When someone has that much influence over another it should be to empower and uplift, not tear down and destroy. That's what makes you a monster.
Maybe shoulda been titled BPD in Women. I wish there had been at least one male.
+James Herrington Men tend to shield their feelings and not really share. Hence the high suicide rates. Doing something like would be seen as emasculating for many dudes
I don't feel emasculated although I do have the emotional maturity of a abused teenage girl. This borderline nightmare is killing me.
+James Herrington I'm feel the same, sadly re "emotional maturity"; and I'm about your age too buddy.
While I'm sad to hear you suffer similarly, it's nice to know I'm not the only one with this wackiness at this age.
+James Herrington Great comment; and quick reply. I've only just realised, at 43, that I've been affiliated with this illness since a teen. It's so mind bending to realise that my through my fear of abandonment.....I actually seek and push for that very thing to become a reality! I looked up an old girlfriend recently(and she split from me in 1988), and instead of behaving normally I drew her close and pushed her away through the intensity of my emotions. Not that I wanted to see her go; but something inside kind of made me wanna beat her before he possibly pushed me away again. Sorry to go on about myself btw
Great video, I liked how you interviewed people who have BPD instead of telling people this is what I see in people. I've never known anyone other than me who, what my doctor called 'Borderline Personality Disorder.' I have tried to reach out to get some kind of help or to see a therapist but it was always more about my background and I never really felt like I was moving forward so I would quit going to that therapist thinking maybe I can get a different doctor to understand me.
Everything started to become different when I was diagnosed with Early On-set Alzheimers in 2011 at the age of 49. Now these years later I don't hardly recall the symptoms of BPD. I watched your whole video and read all the symptoms and know that that is what I struggled with for all my adult life but now they are mostly fading away due to the decline of ALZ. This is the only reason I don't struggle with grief over my identity now because I never felt I had one. Thank you for sharing such a good information about BPD.
Thank you so much for making this!
Plot Twist,!!!! Im a Male with Borderline Personality Disorder! :O go figure...
So Iam now only recently been labelled with it , sent me abit off the rails last week , but I will be getting my therapy rushed through so fingers crossed , hope it's going well for yourself
+steve howell I'm a girl :( and I never forget about you guys struggling too
There are new stats on just how many more men have this then originally thought (they where usually less likely to seek or get help at one point, so there for the stats are way off) My boyfriend has BPD, it would have been great to see men brought into this Documentary. By no means is this just a womens mental illness, there are just as many men suffering from this and they need to be comfortable asking for help also. My boyfriend is in denial and I'm sure if I could show him someone like him who got help and is doing better it might encourage him to do the same.
Thank you for your work in producing this excellent documentary on BPD. I found it to be very informative.
Thank you!
I don't think I will ever get better 😭
+Rosemary Landry (sunshine) Yes you will.
+Rosemary Landry (sunshine) yes you will :) therapy takes aaa loooooot of time and work, but its worth it
+Rosemary Landry (sunshine) Same here. Do you believe someone can really help you? I don't, because noone is listening. :/ Stay strong
+Rosemary Landry (sunshine) lexapro really has helped me.
+Rosemary Landry (sunshine) You can choose to. The therapy aimed at treating BPD is dialectical behaviour therapy which teaches you to learn appropriate responses to interactions and what not. It's very hard work but worth doing.
its the "who am i" that confuses me and terrifies me!
Thank you for sharing Your Experience, Strength and Hope!
Oh this video was what I needed to hear and it help me with hope.
I'm in therapy I go every week and it's helping me . But looking and videos and listening to other BPD suffers is helpful. Thank you thank you!!!!
If your dealing with these kind of people run.
these symptoms seem so vague and unrelated its hard to get a handle on exactlt what bpd is...
Until you live with it...you won't get a handle on it exactly..
That's bpd sometimes
It's confusing to have it
Wow - thank you for showing a BPD doc that doesn't sensationalize and exploit people with this disorder. Very good!
This is so good and informing! My brother died 3 years ago by suicide. I've never heard about bpd before he died. But now i see that's what he suffered from. I wish i had known about it earlier!! Awareness to the people!
Poor manipulative life destroyers. I am a victim of BPD. blamed daily for the drama... nice video... talk about the victims next time, please,
Fun And Toys 143 yup. Gaslighting is real by bpds
not everything is about you
we are considering a revision to this video so if we do there will be a man. apologies for feeling unrepresented.
Nice video, Tamra! It's informative and inspiring for people diagnosed with BPD and their loved ones, too.
Yes, a beautiful and compassionate video embracing this wonderful community!
In short, I want to have compassion and understanding. It’s very complex illness. Without treatment it’s deadly. Most will not seek treatment they destroy the lives of everyone who comes into their path. Many who seek counsel only learn how to manipulate others better. They perfect their craft of deceit. It’s a very sad forecast for all who are involved. Read “The courtship Dance of the Borderline” does not try to stay in a relationship with anyone who has this illness. In bible terms it’s the spirit of the Jezebel. Only by removing them from your life will you ever have any peace. Run
Kevin Hudson you make us all into the worst kind of villains. Grossly unfair and stigmatising. If you knew me or many of my friends from DBT (do you know what that is?) are the opposite of what you describe. You should read this; www.sbs.com.au/topics/life/health/explainer/emotional-turbulence-borderline-personality-disorder
This is a wonderful video. Thank you for presenting it. I learned a lot and though understanding better I feel more compassion for persons with BPD. Understanding is key!
sharing this. it's brilliant. best BPD doc i have seen. gonna share it on my campaign page for next month. Thank you so much for making this .
Thank you so much for posting this. I thought I was alone and crazy and couldn't stop my self destruction. Learning about this gives me hope.