165 - Please Come Kill Us

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  • @amandac7270
    @amandac7270 4 роки тому +660

    Literally binging all your shows because I just discovered you and I’m obsessed

  • @patflanagan2458
    @patflanagan2458 5 років тому +256

    Tim- Do you know what streamlining is?
    Ray- Somebody said my shoes smelled once, but I'm not sure what streamlining is

  • @prometheus3864
    @prometheus3864 4 роки тому +398

    God I wish Ray was on every podcast. He brings out the best in Tim

    • @ducksinarowpatience
      @ducksinarowpatience 3 роки тому +7

      Agreed

    • @Giovanni-nj1xo
      @Giovanni-nj1xo 3 роки тому +16

      Great idea, but I think Tim by himself reigns supreme. However a second show Co-Hosted by Ray would be outstanding.

    • @opticalcanine
      @opticalcanine 3 роки тому +10

      I agree 100%, I hope kumpf blows up, his podcast with his gf is underappreciated

    • @FookU2b
      @FookU2b 3 роки тому

      Tim chose the FBI(and their bribes). Ray still doesnt give a fuck. Thats the difference

    • @nicolasjosephs9910
      @nicolasjosephs9910 3 роки тому

      @@ducksinarowpatience u yguthhh huh. Y y y hoof I CC u Uuuvc cccff cut

  • @JohnHamilton-t1s
    @JohnHamilton-t1s 5 місяців тому +8

    Mr. Timmy Debauchery,
    I am a 42 year old, Army vet, and also an addict in recovery. I just picked up 1 yr in the beginning of July. You are the final protective line of fire to sanity for me. Please don't stop what you doing.

    • @cr-nd8qh
      @cr-nd8qh 3 місяці тому

      Hell yeah man. This guy is hilarious I'm a Navy vet who finally quit drinking.

  • @luketanttari9001
    @luketanttari9001 3 роки тому +263

    Is anyone else here because they watched everything newer and can't wait until next week's episode.

    • @kui_maina
      @kui_maina 3 роки тому +3

      My dumb ass😂😂😂😂😂

    • @PudgTV
      @PudgTV 3 роки тому +4

      If you aren’t subscribed to the Patreon, do it. It’s worth every penny.

    • @adamgardener8624
      @adamgardener8624 3 роки тому +3

      @@PudgTV Tim ? Is that you ?

    • @travissoff9521
      @travissoff9521 3 роки тому +1

      Ya, no episode this week. Can you believe that pig suggested we join his patron.

    • @systemicsystems703
      @systemicsystems703 Рік тому +1

      Muh-free shit! I B's all about dat der.

  • @kaliftedup
    @kaliftedup 5 років тому +270

    I enjoy the Ray impersonations alot lol.

  • @hotlava7725
    @hotlava7725 2 роки тому +19

    Legitimately, the best podcast episode I've listen to. Wow.

  • @three0five286
    @three0five286 3 роки тому +28

    Any Tim and Ray conversation is surely something special

  • @NosurfOfficial
    @NosurfOfficial 4 роки тому +47

    Raymond Kump is a national treasure.

  • @shannongreene1796
    @shannongreene1796 2 роки тому +19

    Each of these ive listened to at least five times. I catch something new each time. Tim asked if Ray was reliving his glory days running around the morgue. I then died.

  • @sincereflowers3218
    @sincereflowers3218 3 роки тому +39

    "Ray have you ever heard of Streamlining?"
    "No, someone said my shoes smelled once"

  • @melvinbutters2865
    @melvinbutters2865 5 років тому +104

    You guys really sold me on better help,lol. Laughed so hard

  • @MigitAs
    @MigitAs Рік тому +4

    Literally any episode with Ray is gold

  • @anthonyanzini4201
    @anthonyanzini4201 3 роки тому +15

    Tim Dillon is the hero we never knew we didn’t have. I’ve been listening to everything I can these last two months. Here’s what I’ve figured out. He’s gay and probably the best thing America has going on.

  • @basednative271
    @basednative271 2 роки тому +17

    this was sort of the golden age for Tim

    • @trentjung8035
      @trentjung8035 2 роки тому +8

      Couldn’t agree more. He reached his prime during these days. He’s still great but these were his peak episodes

  • @GodsNode
    @GodsNode 5 років тому +69

    The wedding photographer stories lmaooo

  • @TSC0000
    @TSC0000 5 років тому +63

    Ray has the perfect voice to be the doofus husband in a Caitlyn jenner sitcom

  • @RamiroEloy1997
    @RamiroEloy1997 3 роки тому +28

    1:08:08 one the best ad reads ever. BetterHelp

  • @Robin-uu6eg
    @Robin-uu6eg 3 роки тому +14

    Ray and Tim are the best duo

  • @optodanger
    @optodanger 5 років тому +24

    Raymond should always be on this show

  • @traviswoods7849
    @traviswoods7849 4 роки тому +32

    The Tim Dillon Show is the only form of entertainment the world has ever known.

  • @kimbonice
    @kimbonice 3 роки тому +19

    Imagine a couple of bloods hopping out of a car followed by Ray Kump 😂🤣😂

  • @CornyBum
    @CornyBum 4 роки тому +109

    On this episode, the BetterHelp ad read got so hilariously outrageous, it became an anti-ad.

    • @phnix6242
      @phnix6242 9 місяців тому +1

      Poopedy kakk bloopedy blapp

    • @spyh4rd
      @spyh4rd 6 місяців тому

      time stamp?

  • @Dudecrush
    @Dudecrush 3 роки тому +35

    idk about y’all but this has to be in my top 5 favorite Tim shows. God bless Joe Rogan for introducing me to this guy

    • @Dudecrush
      @Dudecrush 3 роки тому +3

      I could listen to this every day I think

  • @lordgodmajanomikoto7169
    @lordgodmajanomikoto7169 5 років тому +35

    1:08:45 best ad read ever

  • @UniMatrix_1
    @UniMatrix_1 Рік тому +11

    "We're geniuses Ray in a society that doesn't care" 😂

  • @greenguerilla1213
    @greenguerilla1213 4 роки тому +54

    @10:03 "Uh oh. My twink is calling."

  • @trendylosercat
    @trendylosercat 24 дні тому +2

    this era (and tim dillion is going to hell) has some of the best episodes of any podcast ever. i miss it

  • @jayare6975
    @jayare6975 2 роки тому +5

    Amazing episode! So high quality. I knew Ray was lowkey smart...1280 is a solid SAT score for someone who didn't prepare and probably didn't care much.

  • @harshman121092
    @harshman121092 2 роки тому +6

    “I want my mass shooters to be aesthetically pleasing to the eye.” -Ray Kump

  • @johnv3623
    @johnv3623 3 роки тому +8

    One of the best episodes - and that is saying something! Ray Kump photography had me wheezing with laughter.

  • @cornflakes421
    @cornflakes421 2 роки тому +2

    I love the ad below the video is Hillshire Farms oven-roasted turkey.. just seems so appropriate…

  • @carmenk4018
    @carmenk4018 3 роки тому +43

    "please come kill us" was aired in September 2019... right before the covid outbreak so... thanks a lot, Tim.

    • @ADPax10
      @ADPax10 2 роки тому +2

      I still say it was that Aztec Death Whistle they blew on Rogan like just a couple months before it all started

  • @goyingus
    @goyingus Рік тому +1

    Ray shines with Tim. They should have a 1 a month topical podcast together with Ray’s stories of his professional life

  • @devinstewart2973
    @devinstewart2973 3 роки тому +6

    This is probably in the top 3 episodes of all time

  • @heelmoxley365
    @heelmoxley365 Місяць тому +2

    Watching this after Tim played a Prison Guard in the worst movie ever made. Ray must be proud.

  • @jakw97
    @jakw97 3 роки тому +4

    Tim filling in the application for better help was legendary

  • @sealevelbear
    @sealevelbear 5 років тому +11

    “I had a fat lawyer once........”
    -R. Kump, 2019
    Guys, this episode is even better than the bonus episode with Ray!

  • @empowermph
    @empowermph 5 років тому +83

    im spoiled by the sundeck, i need video..his facial expressions as he says it..i need Tim..no homo

  • @Sprite_525
    @Sprite_525 4 роки тому +7

    Please make a compilation of Tim’s Ray impressions. It would go viral

  • @cointelpromusic6375
    @cointelpromusic6375 2 роки тому +2

    39:20 gary fong photography sales pitch is hilarious

  • @DanielCC
    @DanielCC 2 роки тому +6

    I took some time off from my fake business to listen to Tim Dillon, so worth it.

  • @ballzzd33p29
    @ballzzd33p29 4 роки тому +5

    39:23 Gary Phong.

  • @aBT31
    @aBT31 2 місяці тому +2

    19:55 very low percentage

  • @ComedyJesus
    @ComedyJesus 4 роки тому +6

    Tim Dillon is the present and future of comedy.

  • @ChilsonTV
    @ChilsonTV 5 років тому +3

    25:54 "you know they ask me what I do for a living and I'm like what does your fucking dad do? who the fuck is he? you think you're better than me?" oh my god I can't stop laughing

  • @MrBrukmann
    @MrBrukmann 4 роки тому +9

    This episode is fantastic.

  • @alexanderelkorek
    @alexanderelkorek 3 роки тому +4

    I love all the sales calls. More of that.

  • @clutchcarabelli8054
    @clutchcarabelli8054 3 роки тому +10

    Me in the middle of my 16,789'th workout. Tim: "come on let's be honest isn't exercise for stupid people" 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

    • @clutchcarabelli8054
      @clutchcarabelli8054 3 роки тому

      @@LWLProductions I've know highly intelligent fat people but their Achilles heel is usually discipline which ideally would only effect their health but all too often effects their personal and professional lives also...intellect is only as useful as its applied actions

    • @BlazRa
      @BlazRa 3 роки тому

      The body is a connected system to be healthy is good for you now it is true that there are people that are naturally gifted with easy to maintain muscular bodies and low IQ but they don't have the low IQ because they have the muscles

    • @robertstern6274
      @robertstern6274 4 місяці тому +1

      Put me in a spider body

  • @astonmikedelgado
    @astonmikedelgado 5 років тому +3

    Tim is a breath of fresh

  • @pjornthevikingpartypenguin8898
    @pjornthevikingpartypenguin8898 3 роки тому +3

    This might be my new favorite episode

  • @ZKEEKZ
    @ZKEEKZ 5 років тому +21

    Dillon and Kump need to remake Planes, Trains and Automobiles!

    • @ldobbs2384
      @ldobbs2384 5 років тому +6

      No. They don't. Nobody does. Funniest movie ever. Never say that again. You insensitive asshole.

  • @Maizyspringer
    @Maizyspringer 5 років тому +11

    i never thought you could out do last weeks betterhelp ad. i was VERY wrong.

  • @BlazRa
    @BlazRa 3 роки тому +8

    This is a certified BANGER

  • @gazmain
    @gazmain 3 роки тому +3

    This episode has one of the best wix ads I've ever heard, lmao

  • @garrettjohnson907
    @garrettjohnson907 3 роки тому +2

    That better help ad was one of the funniest things I've ever heard. Fake buisness becomes real buisness.

  • @ramondimas1252
    @ramondimas1252 2 роки тому +1

    Ray is always bringing out the best in Timmy I love when this dude is on here.

  • @Cattlynt
    @Cattlynt 5 років тому +14

    This Better Help ad 🤣🤣🤣

  • @harryfeuerbach6472
    @harryfeuerbach6472 4 роки тому +15

    To everyone who’s struggling with something out there, at least know that I am struggling too

    • @harryfeuerbach6472
      @harryfeuerbach6472 4 роки тому

      Yes, putting that out to the internet too. I will get help and come out better than i am now.

    • @harryfeuerbach6472
      @harryfeuerbach6472 4 роки тому +1

      @Daniel McCoy doin better thanks!

    • @diogeneschicken2968
      @diogeneschicken2968 3 роки тому +1

      Thank you , Harry .

    • @Kaapo73
      @Kaapo73 3 роки тому +1

      Hope you are recovering and just remember, do not quit trying if the last try was not successful!
      Had to quit the opiates more than 10 times before finding my way of dealing with my stuff and I was almost 50 when I found peace in me. It's difficult to forgive ourselves, when talking about struggling with whatever it is.
      BR, Kari
      fake business owner
      Funland-Finland

    • @harryfeuerbach6472
      @harryfeuerbach6472 3 роки тому +1

      @@Kaapo73 Doing much better, thank you! Stay strong everyone!

  • @Glue_Stick98
    @Glue_Stick98 9 місяців тому +1

    1:37:27 little did Tim know, he would be in one of those movies 4 years later (Thanksgiving)

  • @frankrizzo7746
    @frankrizzo7746 Рік тому +1

    This is one of my favorite shows.

  • @fillyourlifewithferenc5567
    @fillyourlifewithferenc5567 2 роки тому +2

    Tim and Ray, with the technical skills of Ben..best podcasting team

  • @dentonvisual
    @dentonvisual 2 роки тому +2

    There are few things more miserable on the planet than working a wedding. It’s the worst.

  • @bloodbathmcgrath2717
    @bloodbathmcgrath2717 3 роки тому +10

    This episode had me laughing so hard I almost crashed. 🤣 couldn't open my eyes

    • @BlazRa
      @BlazRa 3 роки тому +2

      That's really weird I've never closed my eyes when laughing
      I think you might have a problem you better call betterhelp
      be sure to unzip your pants

  • @thatcherwasson9208
    @thatcherwasson9208 4 роки тому +10

    Tim Dillon is the extreme I want South Park to take

    • @thatcherwasson9208
      @thatcherwasson9208 4 роки тому

      @@espasuperiorprivado9491 am I a swine for not knowing what a soro is

  • @beelow84
    @beelow84 5 років тому +35

    Just seen this guy live in Cincy. Fucking diamond. Only just found him on theos podcast. Youre gonna blow up bro, one of the few actual funny comics today. keep it up.

  • @attiliasenni417
    @attiliasenni417 2 роки тому +1

    Oh my God, I am in love with Tim Dillon. I really am

  • @jimbo2602
    @jimbo2602 4 роки тому +5

    Ray was great on this one

  • @Puckanm
    @Puckanm 3 роки тому +3

    This was Fantastic man... When that Blippidy bloppidy boo stuff started I lost it. :)

  • @mr.hostetter855
    @mr.hostetter855 5 років тому +28

    You two are great together, this is pretty dad-gummed good. I feel as if I've been Fonged.

  • @TWill16
    @TWill16 5 років тому +5

    Can't go wrong with these 2! Dudes are wild!

  • @BrooklynTalent
    @BrooklynTalent 2 роки тому +1

    :58 “it’s got a nice brown feel to it”

  • @Mrkevi123
    @Mrkevi123 4 роки тому +8

    Ray impersonations are hilarious

  • @Koujujutsu
    @Koujujutsu 3 роки тому +2

    Exactly. I have no idea why I'm trying to become a better artist for only 6 turkeys to give it a glance. "Make something good for what?"

  • @victorsaumel1256
    @victorsaumel1256 5 років тому +9

    This Kump is hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!! Dinamic duo

  • @opticalcanine
    @opticalcanine 3 роки тому +2

    I'm a Timmy fan and patreon sub. I know it will never happen but dillon and kumpf are the best episodes. So a duo podcast would be amazing... And Kumpfs podcast deserves more love

  • @TrevorScanlan
    @TrevorScanlan 2 роки тому +3

    Kump is like Bert Kreischer if he watched the news. Ramble mumble ramble rumble bumble. He sounds like when someone talks when they are about to puke

  • @hellenschenfritzmachluip188
    @hellenschenfritzmachluip188 4 роки тому +7

    tims laugh (hysterical) is fuckign contagious

  • @John-xz9ur
    @John-xz9ur 5 років тому +12

    I missed kump.

  • @JAHSSS
    @JAHSSS 3 роки тому +3

    Bro this dude said idk wtf does your dad do🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @steveh.7268
    @steveh.7268 5 років тому +17

    NOT THE ADS TIM. On another note, who actually thinks your audience includes small business owners.
    edit: I jumped the gun. HOW DID THE ADS GET BETTER.

    • @BurnoutBushido
      @BurnoutBushido 5 років тому +3

      Shut up

    • @lordswaggity1213
      @lordswaggity1213 5 років тому +8

      I'll throw you into a pool of CBD while you're making a website using Wix eating blue chew.

  • @jmgmedia45
    @jmgmedia45 5 років тому +4

    tim dillon x ray kump = genius

  • @WillyOrca
    @WillyOrca 5 років тому +8

    1:08:46 you're welcome

  • @unownnnn
    @unownnnn Рік тому

    After 3 years they finally pulled the ad 😂 All time classic ad read

  • @MrGrayan
    @MrGrayan 3 роки тому +2

    Best betterhelp ad lol

  • @justinreilly1
    @justinreilly1 Рік тому +1

    How many damn ads are on this episode?!

  • @fruitypeebils
    @fruitypeebils 4 роки тому +12

    21:17 suicide farm lol

  • @jsp7218
    @jsp7218 5 років тому +30

    I would join Tim's patreon if Ray was on every week

    • @sealevelbear
      @sealevelbear 5 років тому

      You have a long way to go my friend.

    • @sealevelbear
      @sealevelbear 5 років тому +1

      But seriously, there are bonus episodes there, including ones with Ray ;)

    • @blazedandconfused477
      @blazedandconfused477 5 років тому +3

      I think the old archive is on there from when he still did it with Ray isn't it?

    • @sealevelbear
      @sealevelbear 5 років тому +2

      Blazed and Confused Yeah, the full Gas Digital podcast archives are there, plus one new bonus episode a week (think there has been four so far, of which one was with Ray).

    • @blazedandconfused477
      @blazedandconfused477 5 років тому +2

      @@sealevelbear Sweet I might have to resub for that archive.

  • @AwfulLottaYea
    @AwfulLottaYea 5 місяців тому +1

    Tim wishing he could redo his life and live as a straight man with a wife and kids on a lake is amazing

    • @tai5370
      @tai5370 3 місяці тому

      Don’t we all *sigh*

  • @madjack5497
    @madjack5497 5 років тому +8

    God how I've missed Ray Kump! You've been killing it lately Tim, keep up the great work!

  • @CorporalPoon
    @CorporalPoon 3 роки тому +2

    My favorite podcast

  • @mollysativa436
    @mollysativa436 6 місяців тому

    I imagine someone in the BetterHelp ad department hated their job and the only thing that kept them going back was Tim’s ads. That’s the only way they paid him as long as they did.

  • @sealevelbear
    @sealevelbear 5 років тому +4

    Definitely come to the South Ray. It is great here. Just think of the summer as a free sauna 👈

  • @ashleymooney
    @ashleymooney 2 роки тому +3

    I got FONGED!! 39:20

  • @tekmentor
    @tekmentor 3 роки тому +3

    this is a gem such a funny episode!!!!

  • @lampovyurge
    @lampovyurge 3 роки тому +4

    Damn, this was amazing))

  • @lancegoodthrust546
    @lancegoodthrust546 5 років тому +5

    Dude, what's with not having this available on a podcast "listen to" format?? I love Tim Dillon but I depend on him for headphones for my shit warehouse job.

  • @SkatePvP10
    @SkatePvP10 Рік тому +1

    1:02:49 I think I lay I lean, I dream

  • @LizLaenger
    @LizLaenger 4 роки тому +3

    Come to New Orleans!!!

  • @joshsimpson10
    @joshsimpson10 5 років тому +3

    More better help commercials please