Robin Williams said it best. “I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone.”
As an introvert and someone who hates stress i can relate to Maher 100%. I once had a girl move in with me and after a month I felt suffocated. I missed having my space, my time, my freedom to do as i wanted.
I could have written this. To me the cons outweighs the pros in the majority of romantic relationships; it would take some type of nontraditional relationship or an extremely unrealistically good match, to change how I feel about it.
At work this old man once came in to my store, we started chatting, suddenly in the middle of the conversation he gets a call; he answers the phone, talks for minute then Hangs up. he then asked “are you married?” I said no, he said “good, keep it that way!” I understood everything that day. Thanks old man!!!
I went to one of his book signings, Bill sat there for hours in a very hot room and signed every book and talked to each person a little. He was very simple, easy going and just funny. Nice person.
I know I was about to do it in some point of my life just because my father worries of what the family would think of me for not being marry But then I realized I was like " wtf I'm doing"
Hair R US So its selfish not wanting to waste time on pampering your partners insecurities which in the long run will leave you looking 20years old and an extra 10years older when you find out your partners insecurities led them to cheat.
Life is so good since I left my ex-wife. No more "let's go shopping"...."let's go out on a date night"....No more jacking off because """my head hurts""" 🙄....Now I can fuck whoever, wherever, however, whyever 👈🏽🤣, WHENEVER! Ahhhhhh life's good 😊
You must be so hard to take. Nevertheless I think this video and this guy's mindset makes you feel better with yourself,and that's a good thing, you know the philosophy of the loner: I enjoy being alone in the fortress of my solitude. Peace out.!
Celtic Moon Hutcheson Exactly. I’ve had three serious relationships and one finally convinced me to get married. HUGE mistake. It was the most miserable 6 years of my life. The day I sat my husband down and told him...after he cheated multiple times, refused to work, refused to help around the house...that I was exhausted and suicidal, he shrugged his shoulders and said he wasn’t worried. Later I found out he told his girlfriend he was hoping I would do it so he could get the life insurance money. I barely made it out of that hell with my life. It’s been two years and I’m finally feeling like myself again. I’m grateful to wake up everyday by myself!
Exactly..I am alone but I am not lonely..I like having my own time to do with what I please..I enjoy the company of other people but I also like time to myself..some people think if you live alone you must be sad and depressed..no..I'm not..and I'm not totally alone,I have my cat ☺
Yup usually people are lonely if they are uncomfortable with themselves. Hell you have people who are surrounded by people who care but still feel lonely.
When I was in my late 40s approaching 50, I started getting really worried and thinking I was running out of time. I questioned whether or not I should stop being a nice guy after so many years of seeing that just doesn't attract women for very long. I'll be 57 this year, still single and starting to actually enjoy being single and not worrying about finding anyone. The older I get, the more I enjoy the independence, the quiet, no stress and saving my money
I'm 40, single, never married and no kids. I play golf everyday with my dog by my side for the last 9 years. I have a couple of businesses and zero debt. My time is my time. All of it. I meet a lot of married guys on the golf course and it seems like 98% of them are trying to get out of the house. They are always chatty and rarely happy. If your goal is to have a family then go for it. My brother loves it and he's great at it. For men, If you're not sure what your goal is then I suggest don't get married before the age of 32. Build your skill set and a business. I also have a channel on YT.
It took me 33 years into my life to realize this but what Bill Maher is describing here is priceless. I really like his honesty and mindset and wish I would've appreciated this sooner in my life. The ability to maneuver in life, with minimal constraints, the way Bill Maher is doing is true power.
It's for no-one. I don't know any couple who haven't been together for over 10 years and are happy.. I don't care what anyone tells me. They simply have become roommates.
Maybe I'm getting it wrong (not a native English speaker), but doesn't "something isn't for everyone" imply that "something" can't be handled by everyone, not suited for everyone, only "betters" can do it, some shouldn't even try, etc.? In other words, that "something" is something "good", "preferable" for EVERYONE, but only SOME can handle it. I don't think this correlates with what Bill says (or with a more general similar approach to marriage). I don't think this is about handling/"marriage being for you". If someone has one or few attempts at marriage, yet still manages to fail, one can say that marriage isn't for him/her. But if one has no interest in marriage from the start, can we say that marriage isn't for him/her? I don't think we can. Am I wrong? Am I looking for a nonexistent meaning in "_____ isn't for everyone"? :)
"Marriage is a wonderful institution invented so that two people could solve together problems they would never had had, had they remained single." (Mark Twain)
He’s living the best life right now. No one to come home to and fuss at him after a long days work, and no whiny kids screaming in your ear when you’re trying to relax. This is every mans fantasy.
Bill said it best: "When you're in a relationship, my problems become your problems , and your problems become my problems. And that has always, eventually, weighed me down."
That's kind of silly though, the same is true in a business relationship but that doesn't prevent to partner for a beneffit, the key is to choose a good partner.
I'm 32, never got married, have a paid off house and am financially free to the point where my rental properties pay for all of my expenses. I am as happy as can be. I spend my spare time either pursuing entrepreneurial endeavors or traveling the world. so far i've been to a dozen countries.
He was involved with a friend of mine in LA for a short time. She never had anything bad to say about him. So I think he is a good guy and honest with women.
how is he honest? does he tell them upfront that he doesnt commit? or what? what do you exactly mean by honest? what is he not lying about through comission or omission. let us know. Also. was your friend black? nubian type?
I was married for ten years. After my ex and I split, I instantaeously became ADDICTED to being by myself. I come and go as I please, I don't have to ask anyone's permission to do anything & the peace & quiet is amazing. I know it sounds like I'm knocking marriage, but I'm not. I know of some happily married people, but it's just not for me.
No wife. Happy life. Avoid relationships and having kids and you'll enjoy all your days!! Why? Because they are YOUR DAYS. There is no need, in a "free" society to enslave yourself to girlfriends, wives, children, or excessive debts. Live free!
Bah. That goes double and triple for women. Most women need men like fish need bicycles. Not even to have children, should they be insane enough to want to.
I don’t have Mahr’s money or fame, but I share his philosophy. My married friends see my lifestyle and are jealous. I honestly think it’s a blessing to be able to be happy alone. It saves you from so many problems in life. No shade to any married people, but man it’s nice to be able to fully control your own life and be at peace with it
Absolutely right, and this way of thinking is starting to be come more popular today, versus in the past when it was expected of you to have a wife, 2.5 kids and a dog.
bill's actually very right. the secret to being wealthy is exactly that - no children, and no stupid hobbies, and dont do anything illegal. save more than you make and invest it. you will be wealthy in 20 years even on a pretty modestly middle income salary. also if you cant stand being alone with yourself a kid or a spouse wont fix your self loathing.
tito lovely what’s the point in wealth if you’ve nobody to share it with and you don’t spend it? You can’t bring money to your grave. Save all your life and die at 75 with 1b or 1000 you still die.
Yes, that's why Catholic priests aren't allowed to have a sexual partner or kids. That way priests don't have a family and don't have to financially support or give inheritance to anyone. It was a strategy of the Catholic Church to maintain and grow their wealth over centuries. Imposing celibacy for their priests was not about the "sex is sin" as everyone thinks. It was a financial decision. I think it's safe to say that it's worked pretty good for them, they have their own country now..
@@mikejohnson699 But he is happy. If he has money he's contributed economically and spending it also contributes economically. He's added to society. If he's happy, what's the problem? His life, his choice. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Amourex de la vie Muah there are people who care and love each other a lot and they will always do something new together to keep the spark and the excitement alive. Unfortunately not a lot of ppl want to do that nowadays since it’s easier to just walk away. That’s why a part of me agrees with this man. I wouldn’t want to lose my freedom and have kids for a man who might not want to try to be like that and will just become unfaithful/unloving one day. If i ever get married and have kids I’m gonna be really careful with the person i chose to do that with. (Sorry if my english is bad lol)
I'd love to get married and settle down and have kids. Be with a partner I love. Truth is I'm not rich and I don't have much offer. So therefore its better to be alone than raise a kid in poverty & trying to fight it all out.
Haha, I'm reminded of Mike Tyson saying he had to be that crazy monster and push hard... So that he could get away from being him. Leaving me like "Wait a minute, I might be having a stroke..."
I’ve been asked numerous times why I’m not married, I never really have a honest answer for it, I always palm it off with a joke If I was being honest I would say marriage never appealed, I wake up in the morning and do what I feel like, I look at my married friends and all they talk about is arguments and drama, no interest In that sort of thing I enjoy my own company but also enjoy socialising if I fell like seeing people I go and do that if I don’t I hide at home chilling, I have nephews and nieces who love me as much as I love them, I have a lot of friends both close and casual, I’m content
I’ve never understood the draw to have kids. They are a pain in the ass. But, I’ve been married to my best friend for 40 years. It’s a special thing that most people don’t get to experience, spending your life with someone that you don’t just love, but that you truly, truly, LIKE as a person. Im so grateful for every day with him.
I love it when a divorced guy gives a single guy sht for not getting married cuz it's ok to fail at marriage but it's not ok to succeed at being single ..
Kevin. You are the only one who reached home for me. And I wasn t the one who walked on eggshells. I have concluded and it sounds way too simple, city people should marry city people and same goes for the suburbs. We simply think differently and it's too difficult. But then the kids are caught in the middle of two entirely different philosophy not good. Married for 35 yrs. Before divorce but lived separately for 15 years Friends but still argue. Just different. Too different. I came from liberal ( really libral) surroundings as city dweller and he suburban republican racist fami loo y. We were drinking buds wh ou after my son was born I quit drinking. Just no time. Long story short, stick with your own kind or don t even do it.
Not only that, but I recall someone once asking how many "Elvis Presley"s or "Jimi Hendrix"s actually work at Home Depot because they had shitty girlfriends.
Love that Howard is a total homebody, can totally understand what Bill is saying and at one point said “you’re perfect” lol. Maher said it best: the only way they differ is their views on marriage. We’re taught all our lives to give up our precious time and freedom to others (job, marriage, children), but I feel a very lucky few are able to see past that and live a life for themselves. It’s lonely at times but if you’re an introvert it’s liberating.
@first last you can as a woman as well, really. It's not like it's any less selfish for a woman to regret having a family and leaving it out of "changing your mind" than for a man
Rick: Listen Morty, I hate to break it to you, but what people calls “love” is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it. Your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle, Morty. Rise above. Focus on science.
Absolutely understand! I used to live with my girl at the time for about 8 years. We've had a multitude of problems that never made ground in the right direction, it was just non-stop warfare and eventually felt internal. Probably one of the worst feelings a man can feel in his own home which really throws off your spirit. After getting out of that relationship I felt so powerless and weak. There were nights I couldn't sleep because after 8 years of living with someone it felt like I was missing my legs. This right here I came to realize was one of the best things that ever happened to me. It gave me strength and respect for myself that I didn't ever think I had. I was slowly becoming a real man. Now, I have quite a few options to partner up if I chose to go down that road again. I wouldn't trade in the peace, quietness, freedom, money, happiness, spirit, etc, etc…. To ever live with ANY woman.. Never worth it!!
The amount of shit I still get from friends because I'm not looking for a relationship is insane, they think I'm crazy. It feels like because they were peer pressured into it, or thought that was the only way to make it in life, they're doing the same to me. More than half of their relationships have failed and they've have been financially chopped in half and can only see their kids on the weekend, and then they start all over again, only the new relationships have more baggage... You want a definition for crazy...
lol yea I'm in my early thirties and I already know a bunch of people who have gotten divorces. I'm like, you were married for 2 or 3 years!!! here I am just socially dating or keeping a stable relationship where the girl(s) know I have no intention to have children or a marriage. You don't need a piece of paper to be with someone, whether it's for 1 year or 50 lol
@Lee Maitland - Of all of the comments, that I've read so far (and agree with); I think that you made the actual case, here - it's more of this _indoctrination_ (I believe) and, the subsequent _Peer-Pressure_ - Single since 2003 and enjoying my life, with others and, being alone (not lonely or, a hard-case 'loner'). Cheers-
For some reason, and from an early age, I always knew marriage wasn't for me. My parents were happily married, never argued for 60 years, however, there was a lot of compromising going on for sure. The hardest thing about being single is other people projecting their concerns/neuroses and opinions on why you should be married, you even get genuine anger from some older people. You wonder whether they're sincere or secretly envious? To me, (In most cases) marriage is just another Man-made activity, like Smoking, that defies all logic...
When I got divorced 46 years ago, I said I would never marry again, and my friends all said, "Oh, don't be so negative. Someone will come along ... Mr. Right ... blah blah." I kept my word, and have never been happier ... 👍💋
Vi Olly, Same here. I got divorced 27 years ago, and people told me the same thing about how I'd find the right person and would definitely get married eventually. I even made the decision 17 years ago not to bother with dating (too many wanted to get married after dating a while or they started to behave like they owned me and my time). Instead, I do have my grown kids to spend time with, along with good friends who are not trying to take over my life!
Alone and lonely are two very different things. Being single and having that freedom to meet new people and go wherever you want without someone nagging you about it its just awesome. And if one day people wanna settle down great if not also great.
True love is only possible in your late teens / early twenties. Beyond that it always boils down to money/status. For a long time I was depressed until I figured out being single is the only way forward.
In today's society, from my experience, you get called gay for not wanting marriage or kids. Whether people (extreme feminists and extreme sexists) like it or not, that is Double standard sexism.
Some people, or should I say most people, are just terrified of being alone. Bottom line. And because of that, will devote incredible energy in finding that one person to help conquer that fear. Unfortunately, they don't take the time to be selective because of that fear and like an impulse shopper, marry someone they ultimately regret being with. There's a reason the divorce rate is so high- the fear of being alone and impatience.
the problem is that the person you meet is usually on their best behavior before you marry them. Once you do and live together for a few years, their true self shows, and it's often not pretty. It would be fine if marriage could be annulled without consequences, but often times there are children, life-time alimony, and divorce courts that place one party (almost exclusively men) in a lose-lose situation.
Dana : absolutely spot on! The number of people I've known who married just to not be left alone, or women that wanted a father/provider for children or just security of someone else contributing to the bills. I've been married and divorced and had 4 other proposals on marriage in my lifetime, but refused them on the grounds that the men weren't the right match for me. Better alone than locked into a miserable marriage.
Dana James Those sorts of people remain mutually in love and in the end, its not the best. I think mutual true uncomplicated marriage is the best but it’s rare. I’ve been in love and wanted to be with that man and he with me, but I still rejected him and you know what, you deal with that pain but if I had to do it over, I’d reject him again. Singledom isn’t my ideal choice but it’s better than marrying someone that you know you will divorce, despite your feelings.
@@michellemckillop2931 these thots ain'loving back as well... they only love what you can do for them .The time when a man struggles financially ,she will cheat or loose respect and leave...so fuck marriadge and relationdhips ..it does not worth for these fat gigantic feminist landwales.
Bill seems like a straightforward no bs type of guy. It’s good to be honest with yourself. Katherine Hepburn was the same way about having children. She said “I’m a selfish woman and it’s all about me. I can’t give myself to someone else” ha.
The worst part about not being married is watching all your friends succumb to the pressure to fit in and then watching that nightmare play out. Unhappy because you checked the box and no reward came with it.
I too love being alone, I just have to please ONE person, which can be difficult at times, but I can honestly say I love single life. I tried on several occasions to make something work, but have found it to be exhausting. It's okay to be alone people really...
I met my nephew's wife the same time he did. They fell in love,had a son,and me and my whole family loved her. They had always had arguments before,but about two and a half years after they got married he called me and told me about the problems they were presently having,and then said, "I think I made a mistake dude." to hear that from my nephew about his wife whom everyone in my family loved, was heartbreaking. Roughly 50% of marriages end in divorce. I don't like those odds.
There is both intense and soft social and family pressure to get married and have kids beginning at age 25. Bravo to Bill for resisting it all this time.
I feel the same way. My parents give me crap whenever I say that I don't want to get married. They often resort to scare tactics like who is going to look after you when you get old? And I usually say my future nurse. At work people pickup that I'm single since I'm literally the only one who doesn't talk about the stress of supporting a family. So I get the same type of questions that I hear over and over like if I have a wife? Do I have a girlfriend? Don't I want kids? And I always say no. And they carry on with a why? Because I prefer my independence. Which either gets me odd stares like I said a bad word, or laughs. The whole concept of valuing solitude is still seen as strange in our society. There is nothing wrong with solitude.
... my Atheism tends to get the same reaction, i definitely respect being single and childless I divorced 4 years ago don't miss my X at all my life is so peaceful and relatively happy to the hell I put up with for soooooo long!
He likes deciding what to do with ALL of his time. I can relate. I think he's one of the smart ones. Decided how he wanted things to be in his life, has simple needs, didn't need to compromise.
I have a 12 year old niece, that's enough kids. And I have never understood marriage. Most of the married couples that I know are very unhappy with their lives and they are always fighting with each other.
crazy clown, exactly. I think people get married because that is "what people do" (I did that until I divorced), and it seems to end up being a power play in most marriages. Do what makes you happy, not what society wants you to do.
Married for over 2 decades, now divorced for over 2 decades, and I have to tell you that I love being alone. Don't have to answer to anyone, no argument's, no worries. If I get lonely, I'll get a puppy.
I agree with Bill and why I chose to never get married or have children. Life is too precious to waste it doing something you dont love. For those that love the married life and children, good for you. Just not for me
Once you're married with kids, you've given society the ultimate bargaining chip and your exposure to corruption goes through the roof. You'd do anything for them and there's no shortage of people that will take advantage of that.
I choose being single over being married any day. Less stress, can do what I want when I want and don’t have to put up with the stress of trying to please another person. I’m not so insecure to where I need another person to love me
I don't think he'd be the marrying type regardless of whatever job he had. Lots of comedians marry. It's hard to have a stable relationship when you're a stand up and your job depends on touring and your income is spotty. But he has a tv career now, that's not an issue. If he wanted to marry, he could. It's just not for him. But unmarried and childfree people get sick of having to justify that choice. No one asks people to justify why they got married or why they had kids, even though lots of people do make those decisions for the wrong reasons and regret it.
I love how Bill is so anachronistic as a 60-something bachelor that he is always asked about it in interviews, breathlessly, like he's a fucking unicorn and we must get to the bottom of it. Marriage is expensive, stressful and nearly half end in divorce. That's what we should be talking about.
Robin Williams said it best. “I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone.”
That's me now
Take control, sell things and hit the road to a new country
Find a good job, save, have fun and travel. Learn to enjoy you.
totally agree with him i had forgot that so thanx for reminding me
🙌 👏 🙏 🤝 👍
Well Bill Maher said it best, long ago. Theres nothing more lonely then being with the wrong person. And that's a fact.
Well said.
LOL ain't that the truth.
m33lover,
Is that a fact, or an opinion/statement?
Amen in that .
m33lover I didn’t know that.
As an introvert and someone who hates stress i can relate to Maher 100%. I once had a girl move in with me and after a month I felt suffocated. I missed having my space, my time, my freedom to do as i wanted.
Couldn't say it better, this is so me as well.
I could have written this. To me the cons outweighs the pros in the majority of romantic relationships; it would take some type of nontraditional relationship or an extremely unrealistically good match, to change how I feel about it.
This is so me
A household with a spouse and kids is very noisey.
she was witch bro
At work this old man once came in to my store, we started chatting, suddenly in the middle of the conversation he gets a call; he answers the phone, talks for minute then Hangs up. he then asked “are you married?” I said no, he said “good, keep it that way!” I understood everything that day. Thanks old man!!!
You motivate me.
He was joking though.
I went to one of his book signings, Bill sat there for hours in a very hot room and signed every book and talked to each person a little. He was very simple, easy going and just funny. Nice person.
Because with a nose that big?
he was the only one in the room breathing
-he was totally comfortable.
Most people get married purely for the sake of it and due to social pressures. Once you realise it's not for you then wow, the release is wonderful.
I know
I was about to do it in some point of my life just because my father worries of what the family would think of me for not being marry
But then I realized
I was like " wtf I'm doing"
PREACH!
Same goes for women
@sel rox have you ever tried speaking for yourself?
@C J yes and no
I don’t call it “loneliness”. I call it “solitude”.
Amen...Alone,but NEVER LONELY...too,much good music, good tv, good books, yoga...I don't need to be around others to feel ok.
I call it solace.
I call it happiness and peacefulness. I'm a woman who loooooves being and living alone!
Me too, it's different altogether.
I call it “peace”
"I like all MY time to decide what to do with ALL my time." Maher nailed it.
PREACH!
that's selfishness
Hair R US
So its selfish not wanting to waste time on pampering your partners insecurities which in the long run will leave you looking 20years old and an extra 10years older when you find out your partners insecurities led them to cheat.
yup, I don't heel. I don't sit. I don't stay. I don't ask permission for anything.
Life is so good since I left my ex-wife. No more "let's go shopping"...."let's go out on a date night"....No more jacking off because """my head hurts""" 🙄....Now I can fuck whoever, wherever, however, whyever 👈🏽🤣, WHENEVER! Ahhhhhh life's good 😊
I know a married Father of 5 who's only free time is when he's in the bathroom taking a dump.
Firstly it's his mistake fir having that many children
😅😅😅😅
I absolutely LOVE being alone!! “The only times I’ve ever felt lonely, depressed or suicidal was when I was trying to make a relationship work”!
It's true, in a few days I will be 49.
Looking back, anytime I went outside of myself for happiness it was never there
You must be so hard to take. Nevertheless I think this video and this guy's mindset makes you feel better with yourself,and that's a good thing, you know the philosophy of the loner: I enjoy being alone in the fortress of my solitude. Peace out.!
Celtic Moon Hutcheson Exactly. I’ve had three serious relationships and one finally convinced me to get married. HUGE mistake. It was the most miserable 6 years of my life. The day I sat my husband down and told him...after he cheated multiple times, refused to work, refused to help around the house...that I was exhausted and suicidal, he shrugged his shoulders and said he wasn’t worried. Later I found out he told his girlfriend he was hoping I would do it so he could get the life insurance money. I barely made it out of that hell with my life. It’s been two years and I’m finally feeling like myself again. I’m grateful to wake up everyday by myself!
Cat lady = angry feminist pretending to be happy
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I love being alone as well.
It is wonderful!
As I get older, I enjoy silence more.
jon paul Amen!
What's that sound?
Silence! :D
Same.
Silence is golden.
How old are you? If I may ask?!
Be single, save your money, live a simple life and spend your time and money with things that you really like. Live a good Life!
Agreed 1000%.
PREACH!
I don't want anything else from this life.
This is gold . Love it
POV:you failed at the evolutionary game
finally, someone else that enjoys his own time and people think you must be lonely - NO! Alone but seldom lonely
Exactly..I am alone but I am not lonely..I like having my own time to do with what I please..I enjoy the company of other people but I also like time to myself..some people think if you live alone you must be sad and depressed..no..I'm not..and I'm not totally alone,I have my cat ☺
Yup usually people are lonely if they are uncomfortable with themselves. Hell you have people who are surrounded by people who care but still feel lonely.
Same
@Sunshine MishasMommy Me too and I have my two dogs!
Better to BE alone than WISH you were alone.
Loneliness only comes, when you don't have a purpose in your life. Make yourself busy, set a goal, achieve it!
True
"All of humanity's problems stem from one's inability to quietly sit alone in a room." - Pascal
When I was in my late 40s approaching 50, I started getting really worried and thinking I was running out of time. I questioned whether or not I should stop being a nice guy after so many years of seeing that just doesn't attract women for very long. I'll be 57 this year, still single and starting to actually enjoy being single and not worrying about finding anyone. The older I get, the more I enjoy the independence, the quiet, no stress and saving my money
Very good idea.
Sure dog . Keep coping
Me too. I just know after a while I’ll be cool with my lifestyle and won’t want change. Children raising them is not a part time job
So you've basically finally accepted you're an incel.
@leetate1963: Saving your money for what ?
I've had married friends want to come over just to get away from their wives. It's disgusting.
you should fuck married women. its litterally just fuck and go with them. lol
Don't let them in, make them suffer lol.
Married men do petty crimes to get locked up for 24 hours to not be around their wives
😂😂
Bruh 😂
I'm 40, single, never married and no kids. I play golf everyday with my dog by my side for the last 9 years. I have a couple of businesses and zero debt. My time is my time. All of it. I meet a lot of married guys on the golf course and it seems like 98% of them are trying to get out of the house. They are always chatty and rarely happy. If your goal is to have a family then go for it. My brother loves it and he's great at it.
For men, If you're not sure what your goal is then I suggest don't get married before the age of 32. Build your skill set and a business. I also have a channel on YT.
Mgtow
I'm turning 41 next month, and I too am unmarried without kids.
When you're 50 ....... you'll see.
It took me 33 years into my life to realize this but what Bill Maher is describing here is priceless. I really like his honesty and mindset and wish I would've appreciated this sooner in my life. The ability to maneuver in life, with minimal constraints, the way Bill Maher is doing is true power.
If you wanna delude yourself into thinking loneliness is power, go ahead.
@@pnut3844able That wasnt the point.
Took me till 50 and discovered it during covid shutdowns. I absolutely THRIVED!
Marriage isn't for everyone.
That's true. It is not for me.
Only for women
It's for no-one. I don't know any couple who haven't been together for over 10 years and are happy..
I don't care what anyone tells me. They simply have become roommates.
Marriage isn't for anyone. (correction)
Maybe I'm getting it wrong (not a native English speaker), but doesn't "something isn't for everyone" imply that "something" can't be handled by everyone, not suited for everyone, only "betters" can do it, some shouldn't even try, etc.? In other words, that "something" is something "good", "preferable" for EVERYONE, but only SOME can handle it.
I don't think this correlates with what Bill says (or with a more general similar approach to marriage). I don't think this is about handling/"marriage being for you". If someone has one or few attempts at marriage, yet still manages to fail, one can say that marriage isn't for him/her. But if one has no interest in marriage from the start, can we say that marriage isn't for him/her? I don't think we can. Am I wrong? Am I looking for a nonexistent meaning in "_____ isn't for everyone"? :)
All of my friends got married. Many of them told me don't do it and you know what? I took their advice. Life is great.
🙌 👏 🙏 🤝 👍 I SEE ! ME TOO !!!
"Marriage is a wonderful institution invented so that two people could solve together problems they would never had had, had they remained single."
(Mark Twain)
Brilliant!
Stephane Pierrot I have never heard about that one... beautiful . I didn’t know Mark Twain was such philosopher
Stephane Pierrot guess he didn’t mention all of the problems created by it
Stephane Pierrot wow this is eerily redolent of my life Atm.
I don't think Mark Twain said that.
He’s living the best life right now. No one to come home to and fuss at him after a long days work, and no whiny kids screaming in your ear when you’re trying to relax. This is every mans fantasy.
There is no woman that is more beautiful than your freedom
Yes, and beauty fades FAST.
@@jshepard152
Very fast indeed!
Damn that's real
100%.
💯
Because he’s smart enough not to lose half his shit.
Indeed
Not half but 2/3. Lawyers will get their part too ))) Watch his interview with Joe Rogan 'bout all that shiet.
amen
@Big Reiner many women pretend to be nice until marriage. marriage to many women is a job.
It would be most of his shit.
It's better to have loved and lost than to live with a psycho for the rest of your life.
Bill said it best: "When you're in a relationship, my problems become your problems , and your problems become my problems. And that has always, eventually, weighed me down."
That's kind of silly though, the same is true in a business relationship but that doesn't prevent to partner for a beneffit, the key is to choose a good partner.
All of my married friends ENVY my single lifestyle.
NOT being married and NOT having kids were the best decisions I ever made.
Everyone is different. I love my life with my wife
they should...😅😂😅
@@pnut3844able until she cheats then you're MGTOW
@@pnut3844able for now
@@pnut3844able she's having sex with her coworker
I'm 32, never got married, have a paid off house and am financially free to the point where my rental properties pay for all of my expenses. I am as happy as can be. I spend my spare time either pursuing entrepreneurial endeavors or traveling the world. so far i've been to a dozen countries.
32 is young what the hell are you on about? You’ve barely lived
You don’t want a soulmate?
Love it!
Being with yourself is a blessing.
He was involved with a friend of mine in LA for a short time. She never had anything bad to say about him. So I think he is a good guy and honest with women.
how is he honest? does he tell them upfront that he doesnt commit? or what? what do you exactly mean by honest? what is he not lying about through comission or omission. let us know. Also. was your friend black? nubian type?
Exactly I never heard of any ex girlfriend talking bad about him. He seems to get along with women and treat them with respect
I was married for ten years. After my ex and I split, I instantaeously became ADDICTED to being by myself. I come and go as I please, I don't have to ask anyone's permission to do anything & the peace & quiet is amazing. I know it sounds like I'm knocking marriage, but I'm not. I know of some happily married people, but it's just not for me.
If you can't enjoy loneliness, you don't really love yourself.
Aloneness not loneliness
No wife. Happy life.
Avoid relationships and having kids and you'll enjoy all your days!! Why? Because they are YOUR DAYS.
There is no need, in a "free" society to enslave yourself to girlfriends, wives, children, or excessive debts. Live free!
Bah. That goes double and triple for women. Most women need men like fish need bicycles. Not even to have children, should they be insane enough to want to.
So much knowledge I love it
I believe 50% of the people who got married were in love, the other 50% people got married because it was time.
Simple man, no wife, no kids, no alimony, no child support, no hard drugs, no expensive hobbies, no divorces. “You’re perfect” 👌🏼
No life, basically.
Too many benefits as long as you get to focus on yourself
No friends
@@bigboner4605 acc to u,life means losing every thing?
That's me. Except, i have a wife. I envy him.
Maher is a smart guy. I know so many men who are wrecked emotionally and financially from good and bad marriages.
I don’t have Mahr’s money or fame, but I share his philosophy. My married friends see my lifestyle and are jealous.
I honestly think it’s a blessing to be able to be happy alone. It saves you from so many problems in life. No shade to any married people, but man it’s nice to be able to fully control your own life and be at peace with it
There is a difference between being alone and being lonely. Many married couples are lonely
spouses and kids aren't for everybody. The important thing is to know whether either is right for you before you make regretful decisions.
agreen182 amen
Preach! Agree 100
Absolutely right, and this way of thinking is starting to be come more popular today, versus in the past when it was expected of you to have a wife, 2.5 kids and a dog.
Instead of getting married, just find someone you hate and give them half your stuff.
Being single is an opportunity to live life on your own terms😝
I love it!
You hit the nail in the head sir
Indeed
Ppl are annoying. Getting away from them is pure joy.
What Jerry said.
You're also people.
Moderation
@@brakesforsnakes757 I agree with Adam
Jerry Wormer I feel the same way. Paradoxically, I also feel like we could be friends.
I'm 56 and never been married 🙄
Have you been in relationships dude
Ok.... But how many kids you have?
How has it been?
Neither have I I wouldn't have it any other way. I love my single life
How is it?
bill's actually very right. the secret to being wealthy is exactly that - no children, and no stupid hobbies, and dont do anything illegal. save more than you make and invest it. you will be wealthy in 20 years even on a pretty modestly middle income salary.
also if you cant stand being alone with yourself a kid or a spouse wont fix your self loathing.
Toto. WOW! THAT LAST SENTENCE. WOW.
On Point tito💯
tito lovely what’s the point in wealth if you’ve nobody to share it with and you don’t spend it? You can’t bring money to your grave. Save all your life and die at 75 with 1b or 1000 you still die.
@@liqritrs8391 the point in wealth is to live spending it. Screw sharing it. #mgtow
Yes, that's why Catholic priests aren't allowed to have a sexual partner or kids. That way priests don't have a family and don't have to financially support or give inheritance to anyone. It was a strategy of the Catholic Church to maintain and grow their wealth over centuries.
Imposing celibacy for their priests was not about the "sex is sin" as everyone thinks. It was a financial decision.
I think it's safe to say that it's worked pretty good for them, they have their own country now..
I love women, and that is why I probably will never marry.
😂
Good point
Nice
@@mesidye I lovem All
Good
I’m 46 and never been married. I don’t like material things either. I spend all my money 💴 on traveling and marijuana.
Life is good!
Don't forget the hookers
I love to play video games and smoke weed.
What a loser lol
@@mikejohnson699
But he is happy. If he has money he's contributed economically and spending it also contributes economically. He's added to society. If he's happy, what's the problem? His life, his choice. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
@@mikejohnson699 why tear him down if he's happy with a simple life?
“ I never understood how you can be with the same person day after day, month after month, year after year.” I’ve been saying this for 30 years. 🤷🏾♀️
Facts
I'll bet pornstars say this lol
I actually can understand that. I'm not sure why that's so hard to get. I wouldn't want to be with many different people.
Amourex de la vie Muah there are people who care and love each other a lot and they will always do something new together to keep the spark and the excitement alive. Unfortunately not a lot of ppl want to do that nowadays since it’s easier to just walk away. That’s why a part of me agrees with this man. I wouldn’t want to lose my freedom and have kids for a man who might not want to try to be like that and will just become unfaithful/unloving one day. If i ever get married and have kids I’m gonna be really careful with the person i chose to do that with. (Sorry if my english is bad lol)
@@Interestingworld4567 Lol
No wife. Happy life!
😂😂🤫
No picking up after, cooking for, doing all the chores, getting beat on, listening to the excuses and blaming ...it's GREAT.
you copy paste a comment, it's not stolen its sharing and that good thing
I respect women so much that i keep a safe distance from them
marriage doesnt make you live longer, it just seems longer
'You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with' - Wayne Dyer
I'd love to get married and settle down and have kids. Be with a partner I love. Truth is I'm not rich and I don't have much offer. So therefore its better to be alone than raise a kid in poverty & trying to fight it all out.
" i like all my time to decide what to do with all my time" deep!
Haha, I'm reminded of Mike Tyson saying he had to be that crazy monster and push hard... So that he could get away from being him. Leaving me like "Wait a minute, I might be having a stroke..."
I'm 43, single and very happy!
I’ve been asked numerous times why I’m not married, I never really have a honest answer for it, I always palm it off with a joke
If I was being honest I would say marriage never appealed, I wake up in the morning and do what I feel like, I look at my married friends and all they talk about is arguments and drama, no interest In that sort of thing I enjoy my own company but also enjoy socialising if I fell like seeing people I go and do that if I don’t I hide at home chilling, I have nephews and nieces who love me as much as I love them, I have a lot of friends both close and casual, I’m content
"Time is so much more important to me than money."
This is so true - after a certain amount of money the need to earn more just seems ridiculous
Unless your last name is Trump.
Preach
I heard that once people get to $70,000 a year, more money doesn't equal more happiness.
In other words there is a point where you have enough
I'm reminded of the adage that rich people spend money to get more time, whereas poor people spend time to get more money.
He also has a $140 million dollar net worth
I’ve never understood the draw to have kids. They are a pain in the ass. But, I’ve been married to my best friend for 40 years. It’s a special thing that most people don’t get to experience, spending your life with someone that you don’t just love, but that you truly, truly, LIKE as a person. Im so grateful for every day with him.
This is rare, so you're lucky.
You don't have to get married to do that.
Beach Town Reseller Lucky you!
You don't like him all the time do you?
Indeed, specially white kids. But it gets better as they grow older. They usually disappear and forget about their parents
I love it when a divorced guy gives a single guy sht for not getting married cuz it's ok to fail at marriage but it's not ok to succeed at being single ..
I've never heard of that unicorn, a divorced guy giving you shit for never getting married? C'mon really?
Succeed at being single? You don't "succeed," you're just single.
Misery loves company.
Had the same thought Bill then I got married and am regretting this decision 10 years of an emotional rollercoaster ride of eggshell walking
Kevin. You are the only one who reached home for me. And I wasn t the one who walked on eggshells. I have concluded and it sounds way too simple, city people should marry city people and same goes for the suburbs. We simply think differently and it's too difficult. But then the kids are caught in the middle of two entirely different philosophy not good. Married for 35 yrs. Before divorce but lived separately for 15 years
Friends but still argue. Just different. Too different. I came from liberal ( really libral) surroundings as city dweller and he suburban republican racist fami loo y. We were drinking buds wh ou after my son was born I quit drinking. Just no time. Long story short, stick with your own kind or don t even do it.
Better hope your wife doesn't read your comments. :-)
Leave
Hahahahahahha!
You chose her bruh
It is amazing the wealth you can amass when a relationship isn't draining your bank account.
Not only that, but I recall someone once asking how many "Elvis Presley"s or "Jimi Hendrix"s actually work at Home Depot because they had shitty girlfriends.
Love that Howard is a total homebody, can totally understand what Bill is saying and at one point said “you’re perfect” lol. Maher said it best: the only way they differ is their views on marriage.
We’re taught all our lives to give up our precious time and freedom to others (job, marriage, children), but I feel a very lucky few are able to see past that and live a life for themselves. It’s lonely at times but if you’re an introvert it’s liberating.
No wife is probably why Bill Maher looks so well for his age
Nah, that's just being a billionaire with the ability to pay for good health and informed dietary decisions.
Miguel Valencia not probably. It is why he looks well for his age.
Lol 🤣🤣 & Im a female. Marriage is horrible! 🤟🔥
Yup
Stress wise. But they say scientifically that marriage make men live longer because women keep our bad habits under restraint.
That's because if you don't care about having kids, or long-term relationships, there's no pressure to settle down.
Exactly
Exactly and I fucking love it.
@first last if you don't care about the effect on the people around you it will have, than yes.
@first last you can as a woman as well, really. It's not like it's any less selfish for a woman to regret having a family and leaving it out of "changing your mind" than for a man
Rick: Listen Morty, I hate to break it to you, but what people calls “love” is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. I did it. Your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle, Morty. Rise above. Focus on science.
He's a smart man. That's why he never got married.
Rare breed.. He is just a normal, intelligent person.. And very funny )
Serg far from funny
Exactly!
Absolutely understand! I used to live with my girl at the time for about 8 years. We've had a multitude of problems that never made ground in the right direction, it was just non-stop warfare and eventually felt internal. Probably one of the worst feelings a man can feel in his own home which really throws off your spirit. After getting out of that relationship I felt so powerless and weak. There were nights I couldn't sleep because after 8 years of living with someone it felt like I was missing my legs. This right here I came to realize was one of the best things that ever happened to me. It gave me strength and respect for myself that I didn't ever think I had. I was slowly becoming a real man. Now, I have quite a few options to partner up if I chose to go down that road again. I wouldn't trade in the peace, quietness, freedom, money, happiness, spirit, etc, etc…. To ever live with ANY woman.. Never worth it!!
The amount of shit I still get from friends because I'm not looking for a relationship is insane, they think I'm crazy. It feels like because they were peer pressured into it, or thought that was the only way to make it in life, they're doing the same to me.
More than half of their relationships have failed and they've have been financially chopped in half and can only see their kids on the weekend, and then they start all over again, only the new relationships have more baggage... You want a definition for crazy...
Lee Maitland misery loves company.
I get the same thing. Stay single, and free. At times it sucks, but the majority of the time, I'm content with it.
lol yea I'm in my early thirties and I already know a bunch of people who have gotten divorces. I'm like, you were married for 2 or 3 years!!! here I am just socially dating or keeping a stable relationship where the girl(s) know I have no intention to have children or a marriage. You don't need a piece of paper to be with someone, whether it's for 1 year or 50 lol
@Lee Maitland - Of all of the comments, that I've read so far (and agree with); I think that you made the actual case, here - it's more of this _indoctrination_ (I believe) and, the subsequent _Peer-Pressure_ - Single since 2003 and enjoying my life, with others and, being alone (not lonely or, a hard-case 'loner'). Cheers-
Lee Maitland you are a smart man. Don’t let society dictate for you. Do what makes you happy. Marriage do not last.
For some reason, and from an early age, I always knew marriage wasn't for me. My parents were happily married, never argued for 60 years, however, there was a lot of compromising going on for sure.
The hardest thing about being single is other people projecting their concerns/neuroses and opinions on why you should be married, you even get genuine anger from some older people.
You wonder whether they're sincere or secretly envious?
To me, (In most cases) marriage is just another Man-made activity, like Smoking, that defies all logic...
Wealthy man + never got married = smart man.....
When I got divorced 46 years ago, I said I would never marry again, and my friends all said, "Oh, don't be so negative. Someone will come along ... Mr. Right ... blah blah." I kept my word, and have never been happier ... 👍💋
Vi Olly, Same here. I got divorced 27 years ago, and people told me the same thing about how I'd find the right person and would definitely get married eventually. I even made the decision 17 years ago not to bother with dating (too many wanted to get married after dating a while or they started to behave like they owned me and my time). Instead, I do have my grown kids to spend time with, along with good friends who are not trying to take over my life!
Doubt it,
Single by choice. Not yours, by the looks of it.
Found someone else?
You got divorced 46 years ago? You must have gotten married before you were born! Your pic looks like you're 30!
Alone and lonely are two very different things. Being single and having that freedom to meet new people and go wherever you want without someone nagging you about it its just awesome. And if one day people wanna settle down great if not also great.
True love is only possible in your late teens / early twenties. Beyond that it always boils down to money/status. For a long time I was depressed until I figured out being single is the only way forward.
Facts
You forgot neediness and despair! They are desperate for that steady supply of sex they can no longer get on a regular basis.
Wow..interesting. Good debate to have with some people. Completely hear you out.
In today's society, from my experience, you get called gay for not wanting marriage or kids. Whether people (extreme feminists and extreme sexists) like it or not, that is Double standard sexism.
Some people, or should I say most people, are just terrified of being alone. Bottom line. And because of that, will devote incredible energy in finding that one person to help conquer that fear. Unfortunately, they don't take the time to be selective because of that fear and like an impulse shopper, marry someone they ultimately regret being with. There's a reason the divorce rate is so high- the fear of being alone and impatience.
the problem is that the person you meet is usually on their best behavior before you marry them. Once you do and live together for a few years, their true self shows, and it's often not pretty. It would be fine if marriage could be annulled without consequences, but often times there are children, life-time alimony, and divorce courts that place one party (almost exclusively men) in a lose-lose situation.
Dana : absolutely spot on! The number of people I've known who married just to not be left alone, or women that wanted a father/provider for children or just security of someone else contributing to the bills. I've been married and divorced and had 4 other proposals on marriage in my lifetime, but refused them on the grounds that the men weren't the right match for me. Better alone than locked into a miserable marriage.
Fear is the enemy, you must conquer fear it's what ultimately controls all of us, it's a form of self bullying, namaste.
Well said.
Dana James Those sorts of people remain mutually in love and in the end, its not the best. I think mutual true uncomplicated marriage is the best but it’s rare. I’ve been in love and wanted to be with that man and he with me, but I still rejected him and you know what, you deal with that pain but if I had to do it over, I’d reject him again. Singledom isn’t my ideal choice but it’s better than marrying someone that you know you will divorce, despite your feelings.
As a man who is older and wiser, I enjoy "my 💵money💸" more.
Malachi El Sigma but it can’t love you back. What a shallow, sad existence that must be
@@michellemckillop2931 As long as a man loves himself back, that's all that matters. Our happiness is not the same as yours
@@michellemckillop2931 these thots ain'loving back as well... they only love what you can do for them .The time when a man struggles financially ,she will cheat or loose respect and leave...so fuck marriadge and relationdhips ..it does not worth for these fat gigantic feminist landwales.
Bill seems like a straightforward no bs type of guy. It’s good to be honest with yourself. Katherine Hepburn was the same way about having children. She said “I’m a selfish woman and it’s all about me. I can’t give myself to someone else” ha.
The worst part about not being married is watching all your friends succumb to the pressure to fit in and then watching that nightmare play out. Unhappy because you checked the box and no reward came with it.
Smart independent man. He is the hero of modern men.
It’s best to be alone then to wish you were alone. Marriage isn’t for everybody
Wise words.
I too love being alone, I just have to please ONE person, which can be difficult at times, but I can honestly say I love single life. I tried on several occasions to make something work, but have found it to be exhausting. It's okay to be alone people really...
I was told when I am old no one will take care of me!! He really answered
this so well. Better to be alone then be with the wrong person.
You can get married late to a simple village girl
I met my nephew's wife the same time he did. They fell in love,had a son,and me and my whole family loved her. They had always had arguments before,but about two and a half years after they got married he called me and told me about the problems they were presently having,and then said, "I think I made a mistake dude." to hear that from my nephew about his wife whom everyone in my family loved, was heartbreaking.
Roughly 50% of marriages end in divorce. I don't like those odds.
80% of which are initiated by women. those golddiggers
kawasaki whip two think the percentage is higher if I’m not mistaken.
Captain Voluntaryist The Statist Slayer men are hard to deal with, I can’t imagine dealing with them for free
So? Life goes on, you re looking fpr perfection ...the truth is there s no perfection lol
Women actually initiate most divorces. 70-80 percent of the time.
There is both intense and soft social and family pressure to get married and have kids beginning at age 25. Bravo to Bill for resisting it all this time.
next time some asshole bothers you about it, ask why. keep asking why till they shut up.
If you learn to truly enjoy your own company, you won’t need anyone else
Know women know stress
No women no stress
Marriage is for some people and absolutely not for everyone.
I feel the same way. My parents give me crap whenever I say that I don't want to get married. They often resort to scare tactics like who is going to look after you when you get old? And I usually say my future nurse. At work people pickup that I'm single since I'm literally the only one who doesn't talk about the stress of supporting a family. So I get the same type of questions that I hear over and over like if I have a wife? Do I have a girlfriend? Don't I want kids? And I always say no. And they carry on with a why? Because I prefer my independence. Which either gets me odd stares like I said a bad word, or laughs. The whole concept of valuing solitude is still seen as strange in our society. There is nothing wrong with solitude.
... my Atheism tends to get the same reaction, i definitely respect being single and childless I divorced 4 years ago don't miss my X at all my life is so peaceful and relatively happy to the hell I put up with for soooooo long!
You should at least procreate
Love Bill Maher. He’s so honest and a genuinely nice guy.
He likes deciding what to do with ALL of his time. I can relate. I think he's one of the smart ones. Decided how he wanted things to be in his life, has simple needs, didn't need to compromise.
Mark Cianfarani bitch nobody is reading this
@Mark Cianfarani Gene Simmons is a DOUCHE.
Time is so much more valuable than money.
- Invaluable life lesson.
I have a 12 year old niece, that's enough kids. And I have never understood marriage. Most of the married couples that I know are very unhappy with their lives and they are always fighting with each other.
Are your parents divorced?
and the rest are currently divorcing lol
Well the couple's I knew and ones i know now are very happy.
crazy clown, exactly. I think people get married because that is "what people do" (I did that until I divorced), and it seems to end up being a power play in most marriages. Do what makes you happy, not what society wants you to do.
@@ShinyFlakesShinyFlakes No
Bill Maher is out here living his best life
And what will it matter?
@@infamouscrusader3363
He's happy.
Married for over 2 decades, now divorced for over 2 decades, and I have to tell you that I love being alone. Don't have to answer to anyone, no argument's, no worries. If I get lonely, I'll get a puppy.
Hell and if you need someone to talk to??? get a parrot
I agree with Bill and why I chose to never get married or have children. Life is too precious to waste it doing something you dont love. For those that love the married life and children, good for you. Just not for me
Tica Eating Plants true and marriage is a waste of time and I don’t want kids but if I do have kids I might step up
Women age = milk
Man age =🍷
Exactly. I'm a woman and I totally agree. Marriage and kids are simply not for everyone.
You wouldn't be here if your parents thought that way.
Abundance equals choice, choice equals freedom. Scarcity equals fear, fear equals control.
Once you're married with kids, you've given society the ultimate bargaining chip and your exposure to corruption goes through the roof. You'd do anything for them and there's no shortage of people that will take advantage of that.
I choose being single over being married any day. Less stress, can do what I want when I want and don’t have to put up with the stress of trying to please another person. I’m not so insecure to where I need another person to love me
I don't think he'd be the marrying type regardless of whatever job he had. Lots of comedians marry. It's hard to have a stable relationship when you're a stand up and your job depends on touring and your income is spotty. But he has a tv career now, that's not an issue. If he wanted to marry, he could. It's just not for him. But unmarried and childfree people get sick of having to justify that choice. No one asks people to justify why they got married or why they had kids, even though lots of people do make those decisions for the wrong reasons and regret it.
Married people have a lot to complain about.
No wife, no kids, no alimony, no hookers, no stupid hobbies and get weed from others. Haha
so true
Ms T I get my weed from the hood.😎
Sounds boring as fuck🤣 have some personailty at least
I could do that!
No hookers?? Dont believe that.
Always remember, relationships and marriage are all about compromise........
99% what she wants.....
1% what he wants......
Fuck that !
I love how Bill is so anachronistic as a 60-something bachelor that he is always asked about it in interviews, breathlessly, like he's a fucking unicorn and we must get to the bottom of it. Marriage is expensive, stressful and nearly half end in divorce. That's what we should be talking about.
@jeffreyGillespie: The problem is that most of humanity is utterly selfish and make problems where there are none.
I’ve been married 18 years and it’s more lonely than being by myself