Red Pill - Rollo Tomassi - Is This A Healthy Lifestyle?
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- Опубліковано 23 бер 2019
- Over the last 2 weeks I've read through the entire Rational Male book by Rollo Tomassi, to better understand the philosophy behind the red pill movement.
It turns out there's plenty that I agree with, but there's also a lot that turns out to be teaching very unhealthy mindsets.
Do I think men should be turning to the red pill philosophy to improve their lives? For many it would drastically improve their dating lives and their relationships - But I still think it's a flawed option.
I'm going to take some time today to explain why.
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School Of Attraction
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An actual debate with Rollo Tomassi would have been more interesting.
I agree
@@unchained576 I like School but Rollo is just shy of an intellectual
Sorry, Daniel, you had me until you started talking about how you start an "open relationship" and you and your partner started sleeping with other people. Maybe that would work for you, but I feel there is a lot of people, myself included that would take issue with that. If my partner comes up to me and says, "hey am just not attracted to you right now, I wanna try sleeping with other people" I would just end the relationship right there. One of the things that I took away from "the rational male" is that attraction cannot be negotiated, no amount of "talking it out" is gonna solve that.
See I think that's where a deeper understanding of human nature is required - For example my partner went through a bit of an existential crisis for almost a year, and couldn't' get a footing on what she wanted to do with herself - she had some issues of her own she was working through, demons from her past etc. That caused me to lose attraction for her. The instant answer wasn't to shag other women though - But the answer was to have a discussion at that point -" this is happening and im losing respect and interest in you, how can we work together to help you find your mojo back because if you keep like this, then this relationship will have problems..." We worked together to, and once she get her head back in the game, she was sexy to me again - That kind of thing will happen OVER AND OVER AND OVER again in relationships - ask any relationship therapist. We didn't go to open relationship as a solution there because in that context it would have been an unhealthy solution - open relationships are rarely a good solution to a relationship in peril. They're a good solution to the fact humans aren't really 100% monogamous all the time, and sometimes humans crave variety. When the relationship is healthy and happy with lots of security, that's a good time for an open relationship.
So what I'm saying is ""If my partner comes up to me and says, "hey am just not attracted to you
right now, I wanna try sleeping with other people" I would just end the
relationship right there."" Isn't the outcome of that conversation - that's not an appropriate time for an open relationship - it' snot a healthy solution to that particular problem so.... I don't know that we disagree on that point.
@@SchoolOfAttraction I can see that you took a bit of different approach compared to what many figures in the red pill community would suggest. Basically, why would you want to be with someone who has a lot of baggage? A big point in the red pill community is the drive to become better men and chase excellence, trying to uplift someone who has a lot of problems kind of runs counter to that goal, especially if said problems are causing you to lose respect and attraction for them. Of course, one needs to consider the human element, we want to help others, we do it when we can, I think helping others when they need us or simply being there for them is part of what makes better people, but not when it is at the expense of your own desires, your own advancement or your own happiness. On your second point, it is true that humans aren't 100% monogamous all the time. The problem is when one of the partners wants to be fully committed to monogamy and the other doesn't, and this isn't made clear for the outset. Say, if my relationship was very stable and my partner suggest to sleep with other people, or even if my partner cheated and I found out, I wouldn't be mad, I would simply end the relationship because our interest and desires are not aligned.
Well yes - Although I'll give you a Million dollars if you find someone without some issues - We all have them - So instead you find someone who has the maturity and mindset to be capable of working through their issues as they come up in life. Also some people are far more plagued by their issues than others - If you date any woman in the world and not expect her to have dark times in her life or yourself for that matter, then you're also not being realistic in my opinion. So yes I find a woman who is emotionally mature, isn't plauged by skeletons in her closet, but I accept she'll still have stuff to work through in her life (we've been together 10 years so far). If she stopped working on herself, that would be a HUGE issue for the relationship, and vice versa I'm sure. And regarding the open relationships - I don't think that's the answer for everyone - But I think we need to look at the human genetic record and realise that most of humanity is crap at monogamy so maybe dont' be so hard on a partner if they're feeling like they want variety - Cheating is another matter, it's a dishonesty and trust problem so you know that's a different problem completely. I'd also argue that cheating is a more likely outcome in a relationship where one or both partners aren't capable of having a compassionate discussion about wanting variety without the relationship having to end or judgments about character being made - which is a very common outcome when someone brings this kind of topic up - Society just teaches us the disney story that if we love someone we'll only ever have eyes for them.
@@SchoolOfAttraction I am with you 100% on the first point. There isn't a single human being that doesn't have issues and skeletons. Personally, I think some issues can be resolved by talking things out and behaving in an adult way. Here is when it kinda splits into two categories for me. There is the person with issues that don't want to put in real effort and improve, they expect you to fix their situation does becoming another load for you to carry. Then there is the issue that is so egregious to you that even if the person wants to fix it, you just want nothing to do with it or them. On your second point, wanting to have an open relationship for the sake of variety, and still not wanting the current relationship to end is kind of like wanting to have your cake and eating it too, (I would wage deep inside you know this is how it comes off to other people). Firstly, I'll paraphrase your own words from your book. Sleeping with multiple people dilutes our connections and it makes it harder to bond to any particular person. In fact, you suggest sleeping with multiple people in order to prevent sex-only relationships from escalating emotionally. Secondly, If you and your partner are both sleeping with other people, it creates a lot of competition anxiety. (May not for a god of sex and relationships such as yourself) But many people are going to be having a lot of unhealthy thoughts and anxiety. Gosh, I feel I have deviated so much from the original topic.
The reason you believe TRM is about power is because this is the filter through which you've been conditioned to perceive intersexual dynamics. TRM is about opening men's eyes to the 'world that's been pulled over their eyes' with respect to women. Understanding power dynamics is definitely a part of that eye opening, but this is not the "theme" of the Red Pill. Most Blue Pill men believe that all TRP amounts to is powerless men crying like children over their powerlessness in the sexual marketplace. This is the easiest dismissal of the truths that most Blue Pill conditioned men are uncomfortable in confronting. You did this yourself. You read through the book with the preconception of what you thought TRP was 'supposed' to be which is why you cringe at the truths represented while picking out the "advice" your conditioning has taught you to agree with.
TRM isn't intended to give men advice. There are no prescriptions for "12 ways to live a better Red Pill life", there are only concrete data that are presented to give men the tools they need to use as they see fit. The 9 Iron Rules are still suggestions, but each is exposing a particular mistake men commonly make with women and where those mistakes commonly lead men. There is nothing in my book(s) that promote and obsessive-compulsive need for power over women. That said, "Everything is about sex except sex, sex is about power" is a an old maxim. You don't talk about sex without a consideration of the power dynamics within intersexual dynamics. Just because you "cringe" at certain truths about those dynamics doesn't make them any less influential. As Robert Green said in 48 Laws of Power, "Just because you're uncomfortable with a particular law doesn't invalidate it", you still need to be aware of how that law is used by others if you yourself would never employ it.
What makes men uncomfortable, particularly married men, who profess to be life coaches or relationship experts, is that the truths in my book(s), my blog, and many other writers in the 'sphere open their eyes to the dynamics they themselves are involved in with respect to their own relationships. Sometimes this is called the "awakened while married" effect, but you don't have to be married. It's more about realizing how these truths were influential in your own relationships and how they're still influencing them. No one in TRP has ever stated that 'only Alpha masculine men get laid' and Betas go sexless. Quite the contrary actually. Beta, Blue Pill men do get laid and do get married, but there are conditions and circumstances that surround those relationships that those men don't like to confront which TRP confronts them with. And that's where the disconnect starts. They don't like where the dots connect with respect to their own relationships so they look for easy dismissals of those truths or they build strawmen to knock down in order to protect their ego-investments in a relationship they believed was built on one set of truths, but now are challenged with a new set of truths.
Well said RT. Nothing wrong with men realizing they've been batteries for a society that puts women, children and monarchies first, while they man up and become cannon fodder for the groups that view them as disposable.
Hey bud, thanks for throwing in a reply here. Here's the rub with what you've written though.
1) I'm not blue pill - I hate most of what feminism has become, I believe there are HUGE inequities against men in our current world that the political climate is making it impossible to address - Working as a dating coach, I see a world of men who have this idealized image of women and who believe in marriages and happily ever afters and all kinds of flawed thought processes. In short, I staunchly disagree with most common blue pill thinking as well.
2) I'm not married - Specifically both my partner and I think marriage is a bit of a farce - People get married so they no longer have to put in the effort, they make a commitment for life when actually people's wants and needs change and maybe I'll want to leave or my partner will want to leave the relationship. People get married and allow themselves to become boring and uninspiring as either men or women. Anyway, there are many non-blue-pill reasons we won't get married.
SO, by your own argument, you're viewing me through your own internal biases as a staunch red-pill follower and painted me with the 'blue pill man' brush, simply because I disagree with you. Even though that description of me and my life philosophy falls horrendously short of the truth.
We both believe men walk through life with a tragically flawed view of women and relationships, and the nature of what it means to be a man. We just think they do so in different ways (while also agreeing on plenty).
What makes me cringe actually isn't the discomfort that it's a form of truth I am subconsciously denying - That truth denying sensations is very different and I know that feeling too.
Let me ask you, why would YOU cringe at a friend who has a really strong blue pill mindset and you can see himself creating a life for himself that's only going to end in pain, suffering, and demasculinization? It's likely because you remember your younger self and all those experiences, and the tough road to self-actualisation you had to go through, that you tend to hide from your younger more naive self and the 'cringe' is what you feel when you are reminded that YOU TOO felt that way once upon a time.
That's EXACTLY how I felt when I read some parts of your book (I thoroughly enjoyed and agreed with other parts) - I looked back on my younger self who was very angry at women and that younger me agreed wholeheartedly with everything you wrote and a lot your philosophies. And I wasn't happy, so I did a huge amount of soul searching and self-development with men's work coaches of various types to come to the place I'm at today - So I cringe for my younger self and everything I had to go through to get to where I am today from THAT MINDSET onwards. That is, in fact, the most common reason why people cringe at awkward people and awkward comments, because we feel our own pain at similar moments.
Just be careful not to assume 'this person disagrees with me, therefore he's blue pill' - that will make it impossible for you to have rational debates with anyone on this topic.
Look I'd love to have an interview with you some time - I don't think you're an idiot - far from it, I think you've put some really great stuff together - I just disagree with some of it.
Hi Rollo,
I notice that you mention "truth' in taking about red pill very often, and I'd like to ask what qualifies these ideas as 'truth'.
My understanding of psychology is that, psychology can only be done on a very small subset of the actual population, and therefore must try to make that small subset as representative of the whole population as possible. Of course, this can't always be achieved, and this is why ideas in psychology (and science) constantly evolve as new information comes to light.
At this point, I'd like to say that I do think there is value in trying to pursue what you and many others like SchoolOfAttraction
are doing to find better ways to engage in our relationships. There are infinite possible ideas and values, but only a small subset are viable. At the same time, I assume that your "truths" are derived from psychology (which I believe human knowledge has only just scratched the surface of - I don't believe that we've now "discovered all there is to know").
Rollo, I think what is paramount in this little 'spartan arena' is the perspectives others are bringing to the table. I would take note of how others perceive you and what you are saying. If you feel like you are defending yourself constantly because others are not getting it right, it is a communication problem. With regards to the 'truth' - The Jehovahs Witnesses cult group are convinced they have the truth and distance themselves from others who are giving the same message. They put themselves in a position to be vilified because they constantly vilify others in Christianity. Believe me. TRP could go the same way if they are going to keep acting in a way that they have been over the last few months 21 studios, Red Man Group, Rule Zero acting elite and poping at al the others. In the end, it will backfire. You need unity not division at this time or you'll be finding the rocks that get thrown at you and the TRP philosophy will get larger and sharper. Sorry to be the bearer of predictive bad news.
@@SchoolOfAttraction Rollo is ruled by the God of War. Aries. (Mars). He knows no different. Blue Pilled vs Red Pilled. Black vs White. TRP is only one perspective in a whole world of variables.
This video was great. A real good critique of red pill that doesnt shame or stab at it but reveals why and how it can be a good or bad mindset.
LoL,ignorance is bliss.freind.
Good or bad mindset doesn’t change the laws.
@@sloebone7399 red pill,isn't a mind set,it's recognizeing,as it where,the sun rises in the east,sets in the west.laws of nature.
Jason Rench you’re weird.
I discovered No More Mr Nice Guy by coincidence a few months ago. Amazon was suggesting it under your book, Sincere seduction. It's probably the greatest thing I've ever done for myself. It completely changed my life, I'm a brand new man. I could also see that many things were covered in quite the same way you do. Love your work, keep it up!
Cheers Stefano, Yep it's one of my top 5 recommended books to most men I work with.
The red pill, like anything else, if taken to an extreme, can be damaging, but like you said, if you're keeping your mind open and thinking about what it is saying, there are a lot of good things that can be taken from it.
I really do think a conversation between you and Rollo Tomassi would be quite interesting, you should definitely reach out to him.
On the topic of spinning plates, I don't quite recall the being in a relationship spinning plates part of the book. I know that spinning plates is mentioned a lot in regards to the vetting process for deciding who you want to be with and to keep you from becoming too attached too quickly. You don't lie to the women you're spinning and you never commit to any of the women you are spinning until you are ready to give up your other plates. That being said, you do need to continue the pursuit of being the best version of yourself. As is said, you should be the version of yourself that other men want to be and that women want to be with... not that you act on it unless that's the kind of relationship you have with your partner.
I discovered your channel today and really agreed with you a lot on multiple videos (43 yr old guy in TX here). I absolutely agree with you on your points here. Yes, there are dominance hierarchies, but the red pill takes it too far and over generalizes. I'm going to look for your Facebook group.
Cheers mate :)
I like how self-aware you are, that’s my main issue with red pill or mgtow, they call out women for a behavior but they lack the self-awareness to realize that men act selfish too, as much as women, and that most women aren’t as bad as they portray them to be
100% agree! Both men and women act out when they feel insecure, both genders can be lovely or cruel depending on circumstances.
@@SchoolOfAttraction Agreed, both men and women can be selfish and horrible to one another. The key difference is that women have the full might of the law and society behind them. At any point on a relationship or marriage, a woman can say the man raped her and his life is ruined. In fact, there have been cases when the men have refused to have sex with the women and they then proceeded to accuse them anyway. There have been cases where women have just accused guys at random just to get attention or victim points. At any point in a marriage, a woman can decide she wants a divorce and completely destroy the guy's life. As men, not even our parental rights are respected. Paternal fraud is very widespread and even if you can prove a child isn't yours the state still forces you to pay for the child. So yes Daniel, even though both sexes are or can be just as selfish and abusive, the reality is that its very one directional. The current state of society enables, nigh encourages, the worst behaviors on the part of women while leaving the men with no recourse.
@@AlexBlindness Well, and there are cases of men beating the hell out of their wifes. And not just once. Physical domestic violence (husband toward wife) is more prevailing than false rape accusation. I don't say this to justify such behavior just pointing out that men and women are equally capable of being assholes.
ive been watching too many red pill videos. they make some good points but you are right they put a lot of the issues in relationships on women. men are success objects women are beauty objects doesnt work with me. red pill guys dont look at themselves enough.
Good vid, man. That's cool you took an honest look at rollos book and I actually agree with you in that a lot of it seemed like tiresome posturing, but I'm not convinced it doesn't work, if that makes any sense. Take care man, see ya in the next one.
I"m really curious what your thoughts are on hypergamy. I thought that was an interesting part of The Rational Male.
YEs.. I actually plan to make an entire video on just this topic. So Hypergamy is a REAL trend - But the word trend is important. It's like... BIG BOOBS - It's a trend that men like women with big boobs, nobody is going to tell you otherwise. BUT - Are all men running around refusing to date women with smaller boobs? Should women with small boobs just give up on finding a partner, and assume their doomed? No of course not - So I find that often times, the word 'trend' gets confused with the word 'rule' - And before you know it, men are being told that all women only want men who are wealthy or powerful.
Interestingly however, Rollo does talk about being self-empowered as being the most important thing, an dI Agree with him there wholeheartedly. Hypergamy becomes an almost negligible thing to worry about if you're self-empowered, even if you aren't very wealthy or socially powerful.
16:00 what are these needs you speak about?
What if ALL the plates (women) fall? I’ve done this a little and once one plate falls usually a lot or even all of them fall. It has been a little hard on me emotionally when it happens. I decided that I will never let that get to me now.
Well see the issue I have with plate theory is this... You're relying on external factors to drive your self esteem... So when one plate (woman) falls, your self confidecne begins to become shaky.
A person's self esteem needs to be internally generated - that way it doesn't get so easily shaken by external events. That's one of the many reasons I think plate theory is actually quite unhealthy.
It's very important what you get out of the literature. It's very easy to get culture shocked by the truth and then corrupt the red pill and go full on black pill, which so many do and it's kinda sad when that happens. The book made me realize kinda what you're saying. I'm doing some of the things Rollo talks about but not for some power trip, not to attract plates, but for myself. If I do what's best for me and try to be my best for me, the rest just follows. Though I'm always open to new perspectives, so perhaps I'll read that book you offered after I handle other priorities in my life.
Self respect, self love, self care. I think that's what I took away from the book. I'm aware of the truths about women now and I won't use that as a crutch, but as a tool. Not to control women, but to take care of my desires and needs first, which is not as unreasonable as some make it out to be.
I also agree with men having the maturity and ability to walk away. A lot of men really think they're not able to do it and when you tell them you can walk away, they either react angrily and defensively, they're shocked or surprised that's even an option, or they react like you like yup...my needs matter.
It's difficult to tell though that when people oppose your view and ad hominem you whether or not they actually think you're dumb and it's the only way for them to convey it or if they're really plugged into some false sense of reality. (Bollocks as you say)
Not really sure what I want from women anymore (which I see as a red flag for myself), so I'll put that on the backburner for a while until I can at least figure that out. I feel like I used to know, but that was a function of a plugged in false reality. Now I'm here and it's like I have to rediscover myself. Crazy, but necessary I suppose.
Anyway good honest open minded critique. You stuck to your guns and made no apologies. I can respect that.
TL;DR
When a relationship ceases to be mutually beneficial, talk about it, give it a month and if it doesn't work, end it.
Very much attachment styles and the way children form relationships with their parents have a lot to do with how a guru will explain his theory and explain his childhood because although he thinks he is looking through a 'special lens', he is looking through his own filters of attachment and projecting them onto the world. People who are securely attached do not have a problem in relationships as a rule whereas the anxious type of the ones who have had abandonment issues will be more likely the ones looking for the red pill. Spinning plates theory and dread game are akin to Avoidant attachment type where he needs to make sure he is not going to get abandoned as this causes the most anxiety, so making sure there is damage limitation. Surprisingly divorce statistics run concurrently with the number of anxious/avoidant .fearful attachment types. Rollo's work is interesting which some of this rings true but instead of the Red Pill being the only way it is bet to see any commonality in all. Another interesting point here as I noticed Rollo get upset at others using his work. Glad to see someone has the brains and the balls to say what he means without just going along with the herd and just regurgitating his work. Thank you.
You know what mate - that's a brilliant way to think of it and given that I'm such a HUGE fan of attachment styles - I'm a bit bothered to admit that it hadn't occurred to me to think on these lines. Thank you for this.
@@SchoolOfAttraction It is an eye-opener for sure. I dunno what Rollo Tomassi has to say about it. I am sure he knows but never talks about it.
Holy shit this is the video I needed to see, you def have more info and should make more videos by yourself about this red pill concepts and how things truly are currently in the smp
Cross analyse the iron rules of Tomassi one at a time
What's dangerous when you choose to be your own mental point of origin? The Red Pill ist not about power struggles, I've read Rollos book twice and never came across that mindset.
For what it's worth have a look at my comments section on this video - Many men get this feeling.
Even if it was about POWER, Rollo defines power as "the extent to which you are in control of your own life" It's not about having power over others, is about not letting others have power over you.
He does say that and I 100% agree with that - But that's not what's constantly bubbling to the surface in his writing he also talks at length about leveraging in the relationship with a woman.
@@SchoolOfAttraction Hmm inst that the nature of all relationships? whether conscious or unconscious, overt or covert, all relationships are leveraged on some power dynamic. Think about for instance, a relationship a kid might have with their parent or your relationship with the the law and state. While these examples might not be awfully pertinent to an adult relationship it kinda illustrates a point. I wish that all relationships could be all nice and Disney like where both partners are totally equal and they both have a hand on the wheel. Personally, I dislike the sense of "power struggle" that the book projects at times. However, being willfully blind leaves you open to malice and the machinations of others. I feel the book is a good survival strategy in that regard. It tells you to be in control (of yourself mostly) and your environment.
Damien truthfully I think you are right on your two points(that you should never sacrifice your needs for the sake of someone else's need and that the world is not black and white). It makes total sense but this advice is a bit contradictory I think nowadays. Like I agree it can only works this way in the long run. But you said it in your other videos that there has never been more men available to women in history. Like most men cannot afford to not give more to a woman than she gives to him. Men are just so expendable these days with dating apps ... Like if a guy isn't willing to give more than 50%, well there is a line of other men who will ... I think this is the problem with modern dating and why some resort to MGTOW ... I think a lot of women these days have not realistic expectations.
You know it's like when you have 1000 candidates for 1 job. It's a number's game and you can lower the salary and increase the qualifications. This will iron out a lot but there will still be plenty of Joes in the pool.
You cringed because you bought into feminism.
He's only doing what he wants to rather than following someone else's rules.
Interesting points regarding feminim empowerment. But if it is cultural relativistic - than it does exist through social classification to different extents in the western capitalistic culture. When it comes to getting a child "opportunity" is an important aspect to think about. With a man, the women will have more time, less responsibility, higher economic capacity, and another actor who likely will further develop the child in a positive manner - thus both the woman and child have a better opportunity to achieve a high quality of life / well-being. It gives opportunities. Of course exceptions and diversity are everywhere, but as a general idea, it makes sense given the structure of our society - specially through evolutionary theories and socialisation theories.
I’d love for you to reach out to Rollo and have a debate with him over this. He always welcomes guys with great arguments, but few ever reach out to take him up on it.
I shall indeed reach out and see if he responds, I'd be happy to have a chat with him about it all.
17:15 Did he say he's slept with different partners "somewhere in the TRIPLE digits"?
Hey James yes I did bud.
that shouldnt be so surprising, just 2 girls a month get you that in a little more than 2 years...
@@SchoolOfAttraction where did you meet most of these women?
I had my favorite Bars and clubs around Sydney CBD that would account for most of them.
Yes sir, I completely understand your POV but, us red pill guys take the necessary steps to maintain attraction in the relationship. This works for every woman, whether in a ltr or just dating. You’re giving the woman what she needs to be happy, which in turn makes you happy. Nothing wrong with that
So... My argument here is that you're using strategies that actually don't create stable relationships, they're approximations of good strategies that come from philosophies that are unhealthy - Not a stab at you, just stating the way I see it. Like... PLAYING hard to get - pretending to be a guy who's hard to please... VS BEING hard to get - having a really active livestyle that she has to fit into.. Same kind of outcome, but one will be beneficial over the long term, the other degrades us over time.
The red pill consumed me, im currently going through a red pill detox. Im looking for help what should i do ?
Blackdragonblog and alan roger currie
@@valuetainer3437 can you send me some links?
@@ChristoVlogz first one is the website. The second a channel here on youtube
Read some real psychology and not Internet crap? Models by Mark Manson is also good
There is no going back.
I agree with you but the things is
you have to be "powerful" to be able to live your lifestyle
in the end it remains a power struggle and girls behave in a hierarchical mindset...
Anyway thank you for your videos
Have you ever had a guy who was obsessed with power in your social group? And you dont' even THINK about power in your social group, so you just shake your head for his plight and go on as though his little games don't even exist? That's not really a power game for you, you're just ignoring the games and enjoying the rest of your friends. That's how it should be for everyone - If we focus on power games, it's unhealthy.
SchoolOfAttraction being obsessed with power and having real power are two different things.
"controlling the frame"
I'm a red pill guy. It makes sense to me.
The red pill is like antibiotics. You take it only when you need it (i.e. when you are bluepilled), then you stop taking it, otherwise it consumes you. I seriously don't understand people who keep listening to the same content over and over again, especially when the content is depressing. Once you know what's up, why would you stay in that echo chamber?
The problem is this political stuff is addictive. I know because I went down that rabbit hole and stayed there for a very long time. Thankfully, I realized when it was time to quit.
That's the trouble. The basic stuff is good advice (getting fit, hobbies, confidence etc) but it's the deeper stuff I don't like. If you go too deep, you can get caught up in all the behavioural stuff, and end up thinking that everyone, especially women, are out to fuck you over. Not healthy.
I love this attitude. I found that after immersing myself into this world a bit too much, I was identifying with men who I have nothing in common with. Men who have no access to women in large part due to their antisocial tendencies and sedentary lifestyle. This was depressing me.
The problem is that there are men latching on to this movement who have no shot with women. They have dug their own grave however. No one is stopping them from going to the gym, acquiring a bit of culture, working on their social skill, wardrobe, you name it...
These so-called movements are geared toward men, who having the supposed right stuff find that women are still incredibly difficult. They find that they have to downgrade, if they want to play the game. Knowing they can do better, they have to lower their standards if they choose to be the aggressor.
You have to have access to women to join the conversation though. If you can’t even access the lower echelons of the female population, you have much much bigger problems to deal with than the likes of feminism, for example.
toledavid89 because reality doesn’t give a shit about our fillings but we should give a shit about reality! Simple as that. “Women don’t worth the squeeze!” 😁
I agree there is no need to keep taking red pills. You take it when you need it. The men in this group can be very controlling.
The rabbit hole of MGTOW is one to watch as it can be quite depressing and i would suspect potentially fracturing of a man's believed and ingrained purpose. Red pill isn't a movement in my eye, it's just another way of looking at life and a deblinkering, but it's indeed as you say important to remain critically open minded, hence I believe in watching PUA for confidence and style gain alongside a simultaneous dip into MGTOW. Our experiences are often very similar when dealing with the genders but women are very wise and intuitive with their own, so having a 'manosphere' helping to educate or at least allow men to believe other modus operandi exist can be liberating.
Keeping open minded I've bought both books, we shall see which strikes a chord with me the greatest, or will it be a combination?
Cheers Damian
IMHO the Red Pill should only be taken once as a cure for Nice Guy Syndrome. Continuous use, so to speak, can be toxic.
Yeah I think you've said this perfectly! When I say I disagree with a lot of red pill philosophies, guys instantly assume that means that I'm a nice guy - pushover who believes in the fairytale - but that's not true by a long shot.
An open mind is an easily manipulated one.
Well more easily than a closed mind - But closed mindedness isn't the solution - The solution is to not be so weak that you are easily bowled over by the first logical argument you hear.
Why does the truth hurt?
Reading the theory and understanding it are two distinct states. I don't know how much time passed between you reading the book and making the video, but I guess not much. There is a lot of information to be processed in the red pill. Try considering TRP more as a body of empirical knowledge and less as a philosophy. As RT constantly mentions, these are tools to be used at your own discretion, not an infallible formula.
So wait up - TRP isn't empirical knowledge and that's part of the problem.. There's a disturbing LACK of keeping up with scientific understanding. See I agree that most men out there have a fairytale way of thinking about women and life. And Probably I agree with more than 50% of what Rollo has to say.
However, there's still a lot left to be desired.
When People read one book with one opinion and assume it's TRUTH - that's what is called 'Dogma' - There should be no philosophy or book about life you can pick up that is completely right.
@@SchoolOfAttraction of course TRP is not completely right. It is a model of human behavior and a model, by definition is a simplification that accounts for most (usually not all) what is observed of a particular phenomenon (intergender dynamics in this case). The purpose of a model is to help understand and, if possible, predict the outcome of particular scenarios.
TRP is empirical in the sense that it is distilled from the experience of a lot of people. It is not scientific because the information sources are different from experimental settings (with controlled variables and constraints to proof over hypotheses). If TRP ever become scientific, a major issue would be to be considered unethical right out of the box.
Although not hard science, it doesn't mean it is automatically false or invalid within all frames of reference.
Many people run (not formal) "experiments" over TRP suppositions and get proof of their validity in the form of getting the desired outcomes.
It is dense, though, and needs time to get digested.
Do not dismiss it just because it doesn't have the holographic seal of approval from the scientific community.
It is always a pleasure to hear someone who is critical of what is told.
Wish you the best
Saludos
Tadeo.
So the issue Tadeo is that - I teach men for a living, and have done for over 11 years now. I also coach women and have done for over 6 years.
So what I see playing out - it doesn't match the TRP narrative.
You're right that it's based on the experiences of many people... So was bloodletting in the middle ages - a trend that was killing people for 100s of years. So you still aught to realise how fallible human experience is when it isn't being governed by the rigours of the scientific method.
But that aside - It's like this... Being a nice guy push over will net you 0 women - it's emotionally unhealthy for men to live this way, never looking after their own needs. Being an asshat to women will definitely open up some dating opportunities for you... That doesn't mean it's the most emotionally healthy space for a man, OR that it's the best way to get women. But men experience a big change in their results, and assume it's THE BEST WAY.
TRP is a bit like this - going from 'that guy who always gets taken advantage of by women' - Adopting TRP mindsets will dramatically improve your life in most ways. So men assume it's awesome!
But while there is some good stuff in TRP - there are also many emotionally unhealthy and very inaccurate philosophies, which while better than just being that nice guy soy boy - is still off the mark and is screaming for someone like me to be critical and point to a third way of thinking.
You just nailed it. That's why the whole MGTOW thing is so ridiculous to me. The men who are vociferous subscribers to it seem so weak. I've known a lot of men in my fifty odd years and the confident ones, who have themselves in order, would never be into it. Now, I will say the family laws regarding men, children, support, all that MUST change. Men can really get screwed over in those situations. Very unfair.
its always easier to blame an entire group of people for all your problems rather than look in the mirror and admit you are the problem.
@@nunyabaznus7851 The whole point of MGTOW is not to blame women. It just to remove women from your life such that you are left to your own devices, free to pursue your own betterment. Of course, if all men went MGTOW our friend Daniel would be out of a job :/
@@AlexBlindness ... remove women from your life, but keep paying your income tax so the government can take your money and directly give it to women through welfare and social programs... remove women from your life, BUT work in an office environment where at best you will be working under a Female Boss thanks to Affirmative Action and Diversity Quotas, or at worst live in constant fear of being Laid off and replaced by a Woman so the company can meet their "Equal Opportunity Employer" mandate.
remove women from your life, but do nothing while women take over and dominate every aspect of society. ... you See the PROBLEM here?. unless you are going to suggest every man go out in the woods and live in log cabins like Ted Kazinski, what your saying doesn't actually work in reality.
and the whole "Self Improvement" meme is the biggest fcuking JOKE anyone ever thought up. Bunch of "New Age" feel good nonsense from Charlatans and Snake Oil Salesmen trying to Fool Gullible Fools into buying books and seminars.
if you truly aren't interested in women, why the fcuk would you care about making money, or how you look?. a single man doesn't need any money to live comfortably. you could rent a Trailer or Mobile Home and live in a Trailer Park for all it matters. you could stuff your face with junkfood and wear pajamas or sweatpants or all it matters. Hell you could even Stop Working all together and just get on the government dole.
the reality is, guys in the manosphere are stuck on the self improvement treadmill because deep down inside, they Desperately Want to find their NAWALT Unicorn and Get Married, and they cannot obtain that life because women rejected them and No Woman showed them the slightest interest.
@@nunyabaznus7851 I vehemently disagree. There is a reason why self-actualization is at the pinnacle of the hierarchy of needs. I regardless of women, the drive to be better men is something that anyone should have. Also, are you suggesting guys don't have any hobbies outside of women? For instance, I like sports cars, I just bought one and want a better on in the future. I couldn't do that If I was living on a trailer living off the government. To be blunt, you saying (the whole "Self Improvement" meme is the biggest fcuking JOKE anyone ever thought up) is itself the biggest JOKE anyone has ever thought up.
@@AlexBlindness ... you have a sportscar, and then there's Licensing and Registration fees, insurance, cost of gas, Mechanics and repair bills, Parts, accumulated parking tickets and traffic tickets, and in some unfortunate cases, the Hospital Bill or worse, the cost of your very life from a fatal traffic accident or head on collision from some drunk driver or some strung out long haul trucker asleep at the wheel. ...
theres nothing wrong with hobbies and interests, everybody has something, but these types of things never end and will always be a bottomless pit that sucks down endless resources. One Thing Leads to Another leads to another....
And on the larger scale of an entire Society, this attitude of mindless consumption and hedonistic greed is the very thing that's keeping the system propped up and enslaving us.
"Buying Stuff" just to have a slight rush of endorphins and adrenaline in your brain is how we got to this point in the first place. Accomplishments and Possessions mean nothing unless a person has somebody to share it with. and no that doesn't mean "Simping," or white knighting to some female, many Gay Men derive validation from his male life partner, many Single Fathers derive validation from his kids, there is validation outside of females, but it comes from real human contact, not inanimate objects.
Seems to me the power games are their defense against what they perceive to be women's power games. It's not surprising that an audience that feels disaffected and anxious because of their experiences with women (or what they've witnessed of others') would be inclined to view romantic relationships as an arms race.
Yes, you're absolutely right - the journey to how men get to that place is definitely not a mystery, it's a very understandable response to current conditions. It's a difficult time for many men
@@SchoolOfAttraction Yeeeah my response has been simply to disengage entirely. Women ask for too much, and they're never even explicit about what it is they're asking for lmao
Finally, someone who really knows what they're talking about critiques the red pill from a non blue pill perspective. I've been waiting to find a video like this for so long. Usually it's just blue pill and red pill zealots yelling at each other very close-mindedly. Would love to see more critique of the red pill from such a reasonable perspective
Cheers, I plan to do some more soon, watch this space!
@@SchoolOfAttraction Awesome, will do!
I do not feel that I am in a tribe with women who live thousands of miles away and whom I've never met. Yet, our society taxes me to support a woman with six children by five different men (none of whom have married her). This is not by definition of a safe society so much as it is an insane society.
Well I don't disagree - but just because there are social injustices against men that need attention doesn't mean that I have to agree with a lot of what Rollo Tomassi says - much of that philosophy is missing important parts of humanity and healthy human psychology.
This is the only non-jaded channel with dating advice for men I know of. Put out as much content as you can, man. The world needs sanity right now.
Thanks a lot Leon :)
Nice Strawman.
Concise debate
I only made it to the 17 minute mark, where you basically agreed with Rollo AND gave credence to MGTOW philosophy. Rollo’s work is a study of behavior that you can see with your own eyes. MGTOW philosophy is simple: Avoid any legal or quasi legal entanglements with women. This maxim leads one to the question “Why?”, there begins the trip through the pathless land of truth.
The Red Pill places demands upon women (i.e. getting married by 30), demands that many of these men are unable to achieve themselves. Nothing wrong with being single at 40 as a man, but you should be able to live by the standards you hold others to - if you yourself weren't able to achieve marriage and children by 30, you have no business calling people damaged goods if they weren't able to achieve that deadline you yourself haven't achieved even at 40. (and there are dozens of guys I know who are under 30 with hot girlfriends/fiances, so the idea that guys can't get hot women in their 20s due to low SMV is a moot point) They basically have higher expectations for women than for themselves.
I'll respectfully disagree on your interpretation of spinning plates. Some level of unpredictability is necessary because once a woman gets too comfortable in a relationship then at some point she would exploit it to her advantage eventually and keeps that emotional pot being stirred for her. Another purpose is to create an abundance mindset for men and let's women know that he has a variety of options available to him and most importantly demonstrates high value and that he's willing to walk away if necessary.
On power dynamics topic, in a relationship someone has to lead and women look towards to a man to guide a relationship, should she be pulling her weight? most definitely, but at the end of the day a man must set the tone and direction. Also you neatly sidestepped the phases women go through in her life culminating in the "epiphany phase" as Rollo puts it in which men misinterpret "attraction/desire" from a 34 year old woman as genuine but in reality she's settling for you as her options have dwindled and it's critical that men learn to tell the difference as I've seen my male friends thinking they "finally won" walk into hellish marriages because of that.
You misinterpreted a lot of parts of the book.
Also I recommend the book "The Ape that understood the Universe"
I'm open to having my interpretation changed... It's not just that I've read the book, I've heard a lot of interviews with rollo and also been part of many red-pill conversations.
You might not subscribe to the theory, but your conclusions are very similar to red pill conclusions.
Oh yes, there are plenty of things I DO agree with Red Pill on, in fact I'd say we agree on more than we disagree on (That's why I get so baffled when people try calling me 'blue pill' - like life is binary) - But there's still enough that I disagree with for me to step off to the side most of the time.
Sir, you say there's no female imperative but you go on to say that where a woman's security is not certain by virtue of 'unsafe' society, she needs to pair bond. She doesn't need a husband when society is looking after all her provisioning so she has a lot of promiscuous sex. Your statement paints out the female imperative clearly. Provisioning Vs sex with different hot guys and how to balance it.
So basically there are things about the red pill philosophy that make you uncomfortable.
That's a very flawed argument. Rape makes me uncomfortable - the holocaust makes me uncomfortable... That doesn't mean I'm uncomfortable because deep down, I know they are correct ways to behave.. BUT yes because a thing makes me uncomfortable could mean that - but is no means a certainty.
The reason I feel quite safe personally is that I used to have a red-pill mindset and I've moved quite far away from it - My discomfort is looking at my younger self and feeling my pains I felt then and why I NEEDED those mindsets to protect myself. But I've grown a lot since then and see the real damage that mindsets like this have on men in the medium-long term.
Your confusing true dominance, which you could also call competence, or self mastery, versus false confidence based on profound insecurity. Someone who is truly dominant doesn’t spend two seconds “trying” to dominate anyone.
If you’re okay giving her half your money in a divorce then you must think you contributed nothing during the relationship. If she can basically hand you a bill for her services then why can’t you? She benefitted from being with you in more measurable ways than you benefitted from being with her.
It like she’s double billing you for her services.
Sloe - Did you listen to my reasoning? Not because I contributed nothing but because she contributed to my life ina huge way - I have no apprehensions about the value I bring as a partner, but She bring massive value too. Most successful men just put up with women who don't really contribute fairly, then they get all up set when she takes half.
@@SchoolOfAttraction Well, if you contributed as much to her as she contributed to you, then you both do not need to pay each other anything. It's basic math.
I am red pill aware but not red pilled.I know the truth and I tailor it to my life.the red pill is philosophy,not theory.although it does have theories,it does not rely solely on them.I disagree with your notion that having alot of power does not make you confident,in my opinion confidence stems from competence,if you cannot do you cannot act,its as simple as that.Now if you are an insecure person who trys to be someone thier not,thats another thing.I agree that you should be as comfortable as you are a person.also you said that spinning plates is a sign of insecurity,yet you somehow justify having open marital affairs with your parntner? Did i hear that right? If i didnt please clarify.
I can see that you actually read the book with an open mind.and for that i respect you.But i think you should probably read it a second time,as i did.Me I never understood what it was that made inter gender relations work untill i read the rational male and applied it to my life.And since then I have had more drive and success with not only women but with life in general.And it wasnt because it provided me with power to "dominate" my relations with other people,but because gave me a nice frame to operate and live my life from.and that in itself gave me power.and the way rollo tomassi puts it
"The definition of power is not financial success,status or influence over others.but the degree to which we have control over our own lives"
Cristian, yes indeed I'm in a relationship that's sometimes open.
But the critical difference - and this distinction is very important - Is the WHY we go open from time to time. It's not done so that I feel a sense of empowerment in the relationship, or to keep my partner on her toes. The why things are done truly count because the why impacts the stories we tell ourselves and as a result our emotional health.
Sometimes we crave emotoinal variety, or we some novel kind of excitement - We accept it's human nature to crave variety sexually speaking and that humans are probably pair bonding but not strictly monogamous creatures (just like most pair bonding animals in the wild).
So again it's one of thsoe instances where, the end outcome of his advice isn't bad at all, but his WHY is a seriously unhealthy mindset.
@@SchoolOfAttraction hmmm.ok i better understand your point now.I could see your someone who is very genuine with his feelings.as am i,I myself dont think I could ever do that.(be in an open relationship).however i still think its not bad to have options.whether you are a man or a woman.just as long as you are not basing your self worth from them.thank you for talking the time to respond to my comment.
I followed MGTOW and red pill philosophies for a while, when I had trouble attracting women and maintaining relationships... all it did was make me feel worse about myself, and after getting cheated on and dumped by my last girlfriend I felt bad enough.
I agree that there are some good points to those philosophies but when you want to feel better after your ego takes a hit I can't recommend MGTOW/red pill.
I can't tell you enough how great I think your teachings are Damien.
I recently found a very high value woman. I came to her with total honesty about who I was and she is crazy about me. The only downside is that it's a long distance relationship. She lives in another country, and I'm going to visit her in a few weeks from now. I realize the challenges of maintaining a long distance relationship, but if it's meant to be it will happen.
I appreciate it mate!
Well, if you were really red pilled you would have never engaged in a long distance relationship in the first place. They never work, and cheating is always going to happen. You might think about reading the Rational Male again.
Yes I know... I can always expect cheating as a possibility. I don't have to be red pilled or blue pilled... I don't want to be either. I don't want to be cynical and I don't want to be oblivious.
@@AKITM Being red pilled doesn't mean you have to be cynical about women. It's about being aware of reality as opposed to what women and conditioning "tell" you. Trust a women's actions, not her words. Yes, some men can become bitter when the real world is revealed after being red pilled. But you can also be aware that women do what they do because of genetics as opposed to "purposely" trying to manipulate men. Being red pilled is being "aware" and using that knowledge to drive a more balanced and fair relationship for men.
I rely primary on online dating and I realize this is limiting my opportunities to find dates. SoA says that online dating is best for finding someone to fit a niche. I think I have a niche personality and want a woman who will fit well with that personality. The women I find locally tend to be very self centered, narcissistic, and poor communicators. On top of that, they display very low levels of interest. They ghost, they won't answer or return my calls, and I find them incredibly boring and lazy.
This woman I found is the opposite. She may live in another country, but she gives me an excuse to use my passport and take a much needed vacation. The relationship will be difficult to maintain I know, and if it fails I won't be shocked. But I thought she was worth giving a go.
The Red Pill is a tool, not a philosophy. What you do with the tool is for each man to decide. Understand it like learning letters to be able to read. Understanding female nature as in hypergamy only means you cannot love women for what they are not. Women love opportunistically, and view men as disposable. Without this understanding it is more than realistically highly likely you will be surprised down the road. You have not understood the Red Pill at all, and neither has most people in the comment section. You are still blue pilled.
"Women love opportunistically, and view men as disposable. Without this
understanding it is more than realistically highly likely you will be
surprised down the road." This is everything that's wrong and unhealthy with red-pill - It's such a small minded view of the world - also show me evidence of this. NOT evidence that hypergamy exists - it exists - but that it's the overriding mate selection strategy used by almost all women rather than just a mate selection factor among many others.
Also I coach both men AND women - and men treat women far more disposably than women treat men. This is a result of our culture and has nothing to do with gender - It's a sad state of affairs of how people currently treat each other - it has nothing to do with underlying female nature.
The feminine imperative you claim does not exist have told women they don't have to bring anything to the table, hence a growing number only bring their sexuality and entitlement into a relationship. This will not do. Male response is either walking away or treating women as the depreciating commodity they are. If women choose pump and dump with the Alpha fucks side, that is how men view them.
Gerald Regan; if having been brainwashed means I in my own experience can reject a thousand observations that fit the Red Pill I previously had no explanation for; guilty. Now knowing what to expect it makes sense. AWALT means all women are hypergamous. It's biology. It's not a choice. If YOU want the Blue Pill, take it.
@Gerald Regan We cannot convince eachother, so I will leave it there. But, I caution you to make assumptions about my life or anyone elses you know nothing about. Yes, most of us come to the Red Pill through trauma. I dont know why you left, to me that is no longer an option. The Red Pill is maturing inside me, and I shall never doubt reality again. I am in controll of my own life and will always own the frame.
PUA doesn't make u happy.
Well - using women compulsively as a way to make yourself feel happy or confident doesn't make you happy - I completely agree. But the life journey of working on yoruself as a man using women's reponses to you as a yardstick - can be hugely rewarding - Finding a high quality partner after dating a bunch of women can be HUGELY rewarding...
This is going to sound condescending and it totally is... but you don’t get what Rollo is saying. Your rants are so all over the place it’s hard to tell what you’re saying. Just look at the science and the studies, but I’ll explain more about that later.
Any man, woman or person should be the best version of yourself , try to understand human nature , know some rules of the game of life , be selective of who you let into your life and on and on . Do not get married young , agreed / there is NO question . If I had a son I wouldn’t want him to get raked through the coals in a divorce . ( I’m married with a daughter ) . if men want to go there own way go for it . You’re the caption of your ship . Many women do not want a house with a white picket fence and 2.5 kids , I get it . but Tomassi lost me at women should not vote and be elected officials , I am a working girl , pay taxes and my parents raised me to vote . Based on logic , societal evolution and my basic rights as a human in the free world , I have the right to VOTE and run for an office. The comments from viewers on his channel are things like “ treat women like dogs “ cmon now.
Weak and vague….
I like how you are more charismatic than the red pill dudes
i think the problem with MGTOW is that its viewed as a philosophy. And not simply a way to manage your life. You don't have to get to theoretical to come to the conclusion that its not worth it to get involved with women, long term. Regardless of any female imperative.
You mention casual sex or promiscous sex. Some MGTOW consider themselves MGTOW but dont swear off women for sexual purposes .They simply dont make it their lifes priority to chase women.
And there may be an eaiser way to get sex anyway. If women are ok with having no strings attached relationships then a lot of guys who cliam they are MGTOW will be fine with that.
Finding such a relationship is hard though.
You should be MGTOW but leave yourself open to the possibiity that things could change. Maybe there is such a woman out there for MGTOW. and they should be open enough to the idea that things could change.
But operate under the premise that if they dont find that magical woman, its no reason to settle and allow yourself to act like a simp trying to win the afffection of women.
John - Yes - I see what you are saying - From my perspective, whatever you call MGTOW - I still see it as a maladaptive response to the current situation. You suggest the obvious point ot avoid dating women given everything going on right now.
I could say the same for driving - If you drive every day, you're going ot get into a car accident. I know people who have died in car accidents, people who have been permanently disfigured for life from car accidents, it happens all the time - I See it on the news every night! When you decide to drive, you are completely at the mercy of other drivers and many other drivers are REALLY bad at it.
So I could conclude that the only option is to stay away from cars. Maybe stick with busses if I have to.
Saying that all woman CAN sue men and take all their money, is like women saying all men CAN rape women because they're bigger and stronger. So they should stay awy form men. Just because a person CAN do a thing, doesn't mean they all (or even most) will.
Did you know that the doctors who get sued the most ARENT the least competetnt doctors? Far from it - the doctors who get sued the most are the ones who have the worst bedside manner, and the doctors who get sued the least are the ones with teh best bedside manner. Men who will get sued for everything they have by women - Aren't innocent, when you look into pretty much evcrey case, he engaged in plenty of douchbaggery to create that outcome. - That doesn't mean he deserved the outcome, any more than a drunk woman walking down a dark alley deserves to be raped - BUT it does mean men can gernally learn to avoid being sued.
anyway, this rant is too long already - But yeah it's complicated, and I See MGTOW as a very knee-jerk reaction to pain and unpredictability.
@@SchoolOfAttraction i think for some people the trade off is just not worth the aggravatiion. Its' almost always the guys that end up doing the pursuing and for many MGTOW they simply don't think the pursuing costs are worth the gains. ( i think in one of your videos you made the argument that women need to start pursuing men.But if that isn't going to happen, then we are left with the status quo which is damaging to men.
I'm not 100% in agreement as some of the positioning might be too extrmeley negative based on perceived or actual harm. And just as women shouldnt treat all future relationships one way just beause someone wronged them in the past, the same should be true for MGTOW.
But it is true that for many guys the whole dating scene is a losing proposition. And the payoff is not worth the investment. if they can get the gratification without the long term investiment, why not?
and for those who had long term relationships but got taken to the cleaners I can totally see how they'd be reluctant to think it would work out better a second time.
Hrm... there are women who consistently date men who abuse them.... over and over and over - But that isn't because men are in general abusive. It's becuase thats' the kind of men those women are currently going for because of internal unresolved issues those women have going on.
The MGTOW men who don't see value in long term relationships, are the male analogues of those women. They 've consistently dated women who have treated them like garbage. So YEAH it's not worth dating at all. But my issue is that MGTOW never asks those men to questions their own problems that led to these outcomes. Instead it just says "Yes, women aren't worth it, it's not in your head - it's not your fault, just avoid women' - and I think that's a little unconscionable.
I've had 3 serious relationships in my life. The first one was horrific. I'd rather be single than live like that. Then I did a huge amount of self-development work over many years. The next 2 relationships were fantastic, and my life was definitely BETTER for it. It wasn't LUCK that ended me wtih those women - nor was it having good 'game' because being great with women can still land you a string of nightmare women - it was my own self-development and self-awareness.
MGTOW doesn't help men realise there is another healthier option to just avoiding women.
This guy has an open relationship... Lol everything he says comes through his philosophy on sharing his women
Care to share how you see this as being related - I'm dying ot hear your logic :)
@School Of Attraction
1. You claimed to have shared a "stable" and "healthy" relationship with your partner over the last 10 years even though you don't share in the red pill philosophy. But an open relationship is essentially not a real relationship, it is a glorified "friends with benefits" relationship, this is no testament to the validity of your philosophy. It's not really relevant to the majority of people trying to make their relationships work.
2. “the best minds in the world agree that we don't know what the female imperative is" very conclusive "argument from authority" statement, 0 evidence given, one thing is for sure the greatest minds in the world agree with what you think right? Women feel a need to pair bond when in less healthy environments, so clearly you're implying that the "open relationship" model naturally happens in healthier and safer environments. Pair bonding comes out of unhealthy environmental necessity and being promiscuous comes out of healthier environments. So you're healthier, further along and more enlightened. Then you pick the 3-4 pieces of evidence (without actually providing them) out of thousands that support this conclusion you have.
I like a lot of your stuff and think you are a smart guy, I mean no disrespect, but the general human imperative of billions of people to want to bond with one person and desire mutually exclusive relationships and intimacy isn't some outdated unhealthy tradition placed on the minds of unenlightened individuals, and if that's what you believe, that's your prerogative, but claiming the science is conclusively in support of your philosophies and we should just take your word for it, I mean come on bro.
Ninja.
1. We haven't been open for most of that long relationship, also thyinking an open relationship is a glorified friends with benefits, only shows that you know precious little of what you're talking about. It's nothign like that - Take some tome to learn about the poly community first.
2. Do some research - you won't find any red pill peer review studies. I'm open if you want to send me some studies that are peer review that refute what I'm saying :) Also, I provide data in other videos, but it doesn't actually help guys who dont'want to believe me.
be a student, not a follower... expose yourself to a lot of viewpoints/philosophies and take what resonates with you....
red pill is a metaconcept that can be applied to any area, and not every microapplication of it is correct in every situation.
being/internalizing something and acting in a manner that is congruent, eg. being confident and having a firm handshake is good, while giving a vice-grip handshake to act confident/dominant is usually recognized by the other person (people can intuit when you are acting incongruent because of the overacting of that behavior) as coming from a place of internal weakness.
MGTOW saves lives.
But here's the thing - that doesn't make it right - Do you have any idea how many extremist muslims claim that the faith saved their lives? Or how many extremist feminazis claim that feminism saved their lives? What saved your life isn't MGTOW, but something to believe in and hold onto - a group of men who feel your pain with you. That has huge value for all men - but that doesnt' have to be MGTOW
SchoolOfAttraction that’s your opinion. I disagree. No big deal.