INFJ STOP SETTLING: The Real Reason You Accept Less Than You Deserve

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  • Опубліковано 1 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 82

  • @Wenzes
    @Wenzes  Місяць тому +9

    🔥 Do you find yourself settling for less in relationships? What is one thing you’re no longer willing to compromise on? Let’s talk about it! 👇
    💡 If you’re ready to stop settling and demand the love you truly deserve, don’t forget to check out the INFJ Epic Life Bootcamp, starting October 26th. Relationships are one of the pillars we cover! Details in the description. 💥 #INFJLife #StopSettling #EpicRelationships

    • @Sarabasim2002
      @Sarabasim2002 Місяць тому

      Make video about archetypes and unstable self image and identity of us INFJ and how to have stable sense of self , for me I feel like my sense of self and personality and identity change throughout the day I totally see and feel myself another person from time to time during the day even my perception of reality changes, this is so confusing for me as I don’t know who is the real me this happened more frequently for me especially after my spiritual awakening … please make video share details about this as soon as you can

    • @kristyboxx
      @kristyboxx Місяць тому +1

      I used to be like that in my relationships. I was always giving less credit to myself and more to the other side. I worked on it a lot though, partly because of watching tons of hours of your videos.
      Simple example: I used to be extremely happy when my romantic interest (living in a city one hour away) would come to visit me in my city and was feeling like they love me a ton... Not seeing the fact that I’ve been there like 20x and don’t see it as a biggie.
      And many times it was not presented like that from that interest it was me who was thinking about them as heroes and my self like, of course Kiki, what else would you do than visit them.
      I was so freakingly naive, and blind to my own needs and wellbeing.

    • @ResoluteRonin
      @ResoluteRonin Місяць тому +1

      I am an INFJ male in crisis. Being an INFJ has been nothing short of a curse! I am at the point that I wake up angry that I woke up. All I have in life is my dog. I was betrayed by people I would have dies for. Everyone hates me because I introduce them to their ego without intention (most of the time).

  • @R.S-1986
    @R.S-1986 Місяць тому +54

    "They will label you 'crazy' because you've been smart enough to call them out on their nonsense". Happens alot to INFJ's in particular. 😉👌

    • @Treekneeeet
      @Treekneeeet Місяць тому +10

      YES!!!! We can see through them and they hate it. It’s extremely annoying not meeting authentic people nowadays.

  • @GMacII
    @GMacII Місяць тому +33

    The other day, my grandmother told me I needed to change the way I present myself. Naturally, I asked her what she meant. She explained that one of her male friends had felt intimidated, like I could see right through him. I found it interesting and smirked-because as an INFJ, we have that stare, but it’s not intentional. It’s just how we naturally sense and understand people.
    After hearing this, I’m even more firm in my belief that I won’t change who I am just to make others feel more comfortable. Why do we always have to shrink ourselves to fit others’ comfort zones? Screw that! The people meant to be in my life-and those who genuinely want to-will be there, without me having to diminish myself.

    • @lindateuling7862
      @lindateuling7862 Місяць тому +3

      Yes!

    • @AnnieTyzak
      @AnnieTyzak Місяць тому

      One of her male friends needs to hit the gym then

    • @hwonitojv9503
      @hwonitojv9503 Місяць тому

      can u explain the stare u refer to?

    • @GMacII
      @GMacII Місяць тому

      @@hwonitojv9503 The INFJ stare is that intense, almost penetrating gaze people talk about when describing INFJs. It’s like they’re really focused on you, trying to figure out what’s going on beneath the surface. INFJs are known for being deep thinkers and super empathetic, so when they’re giving you that look, it’s because they’re probably analyzing something you said or picking up on nonverbal cues you didn’t even realize you were giving off.
      It can feel a little intense or even like they’re seeing right through you, but it’s usually just them processing all the information in their head. They’re not just hearing your words-they’re trying to understand what’s behind them. It’s kind of like they’re searching for the deeper meaning or truth in the conversation.

    • @bamgold4677
      @bamgold4677 Місяць тому

      You know what's going on​.

  • @rayjor
    @rayjor Місяць тому +7

    Thank you so much Wenzes, I finally made up my mind to get out of a relationship after watching this. That man was not valuing me and I have nothing to apologize for what I had done.

  • @LoveGoldenheart
    @LoveGoldenheart Місяць тому +11

    I agree that we shouldn't compromise on who we are and that's a primary goal for me. Distancing is an important tool and can seem counterintuitive for an INFJ, but it empowers us.

    • @bamgold4677
      @bamgold4677 Місяць тому

      What's new in your world

  • @brendamarie7241
    @brendamarie7241 Місяць тому +8

    Thanks for adding parents to this discussion. I am going through this right now. Being a caregiver for a parent that uses their "not feeling good" as a reason to treat me and others badly was the last straw. Confronting this behavior created the "face" and tone of: this is just a transaction that I have to get through and once over, I don't have to deal with you until the next transaction. Being transactional has allowed me to sleep at night and not feel guilt or shame.
    It is sad that it had to come to this, but at 71 years young, this is my time to do what is best for me, stop being viewed as the child and respected as an adult who takes care of them without the people pleasing.

  • @DHARK1873
    @DHARK1873 Місяць тому +8

    I think we INFJ’s will always give more love than we’ll receive, but it IS better to seek out something close… it shouldn’t be extremely outweighed. I also think INFP’s & INTJ’s experience similar.

  • @aquariusstar7248
    @aquariusstar7248 Місяць тому +10

    Thank you, Wenzes!!❤❤😊 I reflected on my past relationships as I was listening to these bullet points. The biggest 2 for me are "actively choosing me" and dimming my light so that others aren't triggered. Wow! That 1st one is a huge blindspot. No wonder the relationships unfolded with confusion. I get it now🎉🎉🎉

  • @demetheoharis3960
    @demetheoharis3960 Місяць тому +8

    "Not running after a person because that person has internal things going on"... That sounds like an INFJ with a lifetime of experience! Lol. The healing of others IS coming. but not by INFJ's solely (thank God).

  • @LyraMeldy
    @LyraMeldy 11 днів тому

    These videos are downright healing, Wenzes. I wish to acknowledge this to you, I literally feel the knot getting loose in my chest from so much validation and confirmation

  • @vincentkretzschmar4988
    @vincentkretzschmar4988 Місяць тому +4

    Just genius. How healing.I don't know anyone else that does it like Wenzes. No one else brings this kind of value

  • @christopheryannatone4406
    @christopheryannatone4406 Місяць тому +1

    This resonates with me so much. Thank you for explaining the whole narcissistic dynamic as well as it pertains to choosing ourselves as it sometimes genuinely leads non-narcissistic people to feel that they are being truly narcissistic when they simply have not yet understood the concept of protecting their own energy not just for themselves but also for the betterment of others around them. I believe this embracing of the “monster within” as you’ve described in another video also is relevant here, This allows our humanitarian conciousness to kick in and truly see one another for who and where we all are, thus allowing us to rise above petty behaviors or self fulfilling prophecies we may create in the process of learning to choose ourselves

  • @kencornwell
    @kencornwell Місяць тому +4

    This video is personal for me at this time and so many of your messages hit home. Thank you Wenzes for putting this message out there in a way that helps me change and get past this weird relationship I entered.

  • @McD-j5r
    @McD-j5r Місяць тому +5

    This video got me exactly reflecting about why I need so much to settle with what I’ve got and it’s not enough REALLY. I am even anguished right now because I am hurt.
    Your video spoke to me.
    Thank you!
    Rose

  • @LyraMeldy
    @LyraMeldy 28 днів тому

    This is so true and Im sp happy because this confirms in a way a recent doorslam I made with the person who couldnt fulfill my needs at least at that time and I bravely and firmly said NO,it was extremly hard,but Im at peace with my decision and whats more important I realize its the ONLY way for me to ever get the relationship I want. BOUNDARIES my dear INFJ

  • @jaimeflor4181
    @jaimeflor4181 Місяць тому +1

    Hey Wenzes! This is actually something I’ve been working on already, so it’s nice to hear that you are or have been as well.

  • @maaikekamstra7353
    @maaikekamstra7353 23 дні тому

    Mostly I am the one encouring people and show them things. Gues what.....I am 56 years and for the first time "another being" show me really on energylevel a window I never ever looked. It really helps me, healing me. I thank you for that. By the way never heard of the INFJ. Living in Amsterdam/Holland never ever saw this. Just find you on youtube.

  • @betelhemlema3434
    @betelhemlema3434 Місяць тому

    Thanks honey for your advice as usual! 🙏❤😘

  • @OtiliaRadu-l1n
    @OtiliaRadu-l1n Місяць тому +1

    Thank you, Wenzes, for this truthful video!

  • @soul_relay
    @soul_relay Місяць тому +2

    I've always used the word "command" as opposed to "demand".. Just feels different✌️ Great video!

  • @cvonsutphen
    @cvonsutphen Місяць тому +1

    Great Video and I can totally relate to the message. I had a male friend for over a decade who was very demanding for my attention and "sweet" for me. However, after expressing, on many occasion's, that I did not share the same sentiments for him, I felt I was being disrespected. I was "canceled" by him when he entered my home and discovered a photograph of my "love" and myself. It was a bittersweet moment when he expressed, "he couldn't do this anymore". I felt an amazing sense of relief, also, I didn't door slam him. It was his choice. I do speak to him every now and again, no hard feelings. I'm happy that it was his choice and that I didn't have to be the bad guy. I was honest from the get-go, he took longer to figure it out.

  • @bamgold4677
    @bamgold4677 Місяць тому +1

    I think shes amazing. Hopefully I can be a better client overtime.

  • @meicaphillips7966
    @meicaphillips7966 Місяць тому +2

    Great on point video 👏🏽

  • @Virvepaulina
    @Virvepaulina Місяць тому

    YES WOMAN!!❤

  • @sebastianhokby2299
    @sebastianhokby2299 Місяць тому +1

    I really needed this today. Thank you ❤

  • @rebeccalouise81
    @rebeccalouise81 Місяць тому

    Loved this 😊 spot on and thank you Wenzes!

  • @tarsismiranda3199
    @tarsismiranda3199 Місяць тому

    Thanks for the video, you really helped me understanding myself. I could relate a Lot of what you said. 😊

  • @diamondhill8360
    @diamondhill8360 28 днів тому

    This is True

  • @brooklyn.nychole
    @brooklyn.nychole Місяць тому +5

    Why when choosing better for yourself you’re labeled as a bad person? Or selfish?

  • @annebonny5104
    @annebonny5104 Місяць тому +1

    Thank you! ❤

  • @keithcurry1572
    @keithcurry1572 Місяць тому +4

    Wow, I just broke up with my girlfriend, who I had been dating for the last 9 months because she wasn't meeting my needs. Like, literally 5 hours, I broke up with her

  • @1ReikiFloW
    @1ReikiFloW Місяць тому +1

    well said, very true!

  • @luciana1930
    @luciana1930 Місяць тому +1

    Thank you

  • @Rcm5900
    @Rcm5900 Місяць тому +1

    you got a new sub!

  • @AliIbrahim-bt3lk
    @AliIbrahim-bt3lk Місяць тому +1

    The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, "It is not lawful for a brother/sister to desert (stop talking to) his brother/sister beyond three nights, the one turning one way and the other turning to the other way when they meet, the better of the two is one who is the first to greet the other."
    Cutting people off is not easy as said but also easy as done but the aftermath not so easy on all, both and the public. So it’s not easy as you think.

  • @kupakralicesitarot7222
    @kupakralicesitarot7222 Місяць тому

    Thank you ❤ you are the best

  • @Virvepaulina
    @Virvepaulina Місяць тому

    I love this channeeeeel 🎉

  • @Rahul.matiya
    @Rahul.matiya Місяць тому +1

    this video’s take really clicks with some of the things I've been reading in the book Magnetic Aura from Talesio

  • @prafulrana2810
    @prafulrana2810 Місяць тому

    really liked this video

  • @SKULL_YT29
    @SKULL_YT29 Місяць тому +1

    best!!!

  • @KamleshChoudhary-bm2xg
    @KamleshChoudhary-bm2xg Місяць тому

    this format really suits me

  • @TheyCallMeSir_H
    @TheyCallMeSir_H Місяць тому

    For the longest time, I didn't even know I had needs; let alone how to look for someone to meet them 🙄

  • @sonalibhalshankar8782
    @sonalibhalshankar8782 Місяць тому

    awesome video

  • @Riccc111
    @Riccc111 Місяць тому +8

    Why all infjs have the same face 😂

    • @zeeiggy
      @zeeiggy Місяць тому +1

      Please could you expand on this? I am curious by what you mean

  • @Moonlight93567
    @Moonlight93567 Місяць тому

    i love u ❤❤❤you saved mee

  • @kikitaube-hansen
    @kikitaube-hansen Місяць тому

    Just have to say

  • @RicardoCrowford-z6q
    @RicardoCrowford-z6q Місяць тому

    Rice Glens

  • @Kemp757
    @Kemp757 Місяць тому

    Loved this video. Curious are there typically common zodiac signs that are INFJ? Because my Natal Chart says this exact thing about me in terms of what I need In order to be in a fulfilling relationship both platonic and romantic.

  • @neelampainuly495
    @neelampainuly495 Місяць тому +93

    its hard to put into words, but the book Magnetic Aura from Talesio completely changed my life. i recommend everyone reading this to read it

    • @eringlover9317
      @eringlover9317 Місяць тому +1

      @neelampainuly495 I can’t find that book anywhere. Do you have a link or more info? 👀

    • @TheJayJay26102
      @TheJayJay26102 Місяць тому

      @neelampainuly495 saaaame, I can't find it either😂

    • @kaipography
      @kaipography Місяць тому +1

      Bot comment. Beware

    • @TheJayJay26102
      @TheJayJay26102 Місяць тому

      @kaipography this isn't the same youtube I remember over a decade ago😮‍💨

  • @xander1756
    @xander1756 19 днів тому

    I'd like to read how the content creator thinks they know the hearts and minds of every INFJ person, to make such a claim about all of them.

  • @flynneart1111
    @flynneart1111 Місяць тому +1

    I walked

  • @7dSeverance
    @7dSeverance Місяць тому

    or my personal favorite...
    getting Ne-ed with excuse after excuse after excuse....😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

  • @janmadsen-ki2hf
    @janmadsen-ki2hf Місяць тому

    Wen your face is the same like my dear infj,from a intj

  • @HarrimanBaird-i5e
    @HarrimanBaird-i5e Місяць тому

    Javier Hill

  • @ellico.1916
    @ellico.1916 Місяць тому +1

    9:30 ughhhhhh. I know, it's just trauma bond

  • @tarakessinger3648
    @tarakessinger3648 Місяць тому

    🔥❤️

  • @Kelbelle-gt3dl
    @Kelbelle-gt3dl Місяць тому

    ✨🕯️🎯💫✨

  • @GirishManojSalunkhe
    @GirishManojSalunkhe Місяць тому

    i can't believe no one on youtube is talking about magnetic aura from Talesio

  • @vdvdddvd-p3d
    @vdvdddvd-p3d Місяць тому

    Flavio Ways

  • @GRowlinARTHenaholdeatar2244EVA
    @GRowlinARTHenaholdeatar2244EVA 27 днів тому

    😊 Rare

  • @SherwoodMary-q6y
    @SherwoodMary-q6y Місяць тому

    Pfeffer Run

  • @rajabarman2040
    @rajabarman2040 Місяць тому

    if you're seeing this comment, it might be a sign to read 'Magnetic Aura' from Talesio ❤️

  • @ButterfliiGoddess_222
    @ButterfliiGoddess_222 Місяць тому

    New to your channel and diving deeper into being an INFJ..I love your energy, delivery & needed this.. thank you! 🤗
    It now all makes so much sense.. decades later 😂🤦🏾‍♀️

  • @lindateuling7862
    @lindateuling7862 Місяць тому +2

    I see this as a mentally healthy way to take care of myself and to keep from getting caught up in a relationship where I am giving a lot and not getting anything in return.
    Thankfully, I'm not as caught up as much in this as in the past - which came from practicing self awareness and the mental/emotional points that you brought up in this video. However, I've learned that it's still a good idea to be vigilant to not allow it to happen again. I think that at this stage of life, it's not likely that it will, but it's still good to be aware, and firmly commit myself to self care and self respect.

  • @annsjoholm7310
    @annsjoholm7310 Місяць тому +1

    Thank you!