How to Conquer Social Anxiety When You Meet New People

Поділитися
Вставка
  • Опубліковано 18 тра 2024
  • Learn 7 strategies that you can use to overcome nerves and start talking to new people confidently.
    📺 Watch this video without AdSense on Nebula: nebula.tv/videos/thomasfrank-...
    🛠 COURSES AND RESOURCES:
    Notion channel - / thomasfrankexplains
    Free Notion templates - thomasjfrank.com/templates/
    Learn Notion - thomasjfrank.com/fundamentals
    Productivity and Habits courses - thomasjfrank.com/courses/
    🦙 SPONSOR:
    Start broadening your knowledge base - get a 1-month free trial of CuriosityStream and access over 2,400 documentaries at curiositystream.com/thomas - and use the code "thomas" when you sign up!
    🐦 SOCIAL STUFF:
    Instagram ➔ / tomfrankly
    Twitter ➔ / tomfrankly
    Music Channel ➔ / @thomasfrankmusic
    Spotify Study Playlist ➔ open.spotify.com/user/thomasf...
    📃 ARTICLE VERSION:
    collegeinfogeek.com/social-sk...
    🔗 VIDEO LINKS:
    How to be More Confident Than Anyone You Know: • How to Be More Confide...
    Jim Carrey talks with Oprah about visualization: • What Oprah Learned fro...
    Michael Phelps and the "videotape": www.behaviouraldesign.com/2013...
    👐 BUSINESS:
    Please contact my agent at thomasfrank@standard.tv
    💰 I'm fortunate enough to work with great sponsors who support my work, so I don't use Patreon or any other crowdfunding service. However, if you'd like to support a worthy cause, consider donating to help more children get access to a high-quality education: fundraise.pencilsofpromise.or...

КОМЕНТАРІ • 253

  • @nniffa393
    @nniffa393 4 роки тому +876

    "Rejection doesn't matter in the long run"
    My social anxiety: Seems fake but ok

    • @burggerbig102
      @burggerbig102 4 роки тому +7

      so true

    • @alexgonzo000
      @alexgonzo000 4 роки тому +1

      Hahaha same

    • @RangerRuby
      @RangerRuby 4 роки тому +23

      It is so hard to think rationally when you start getting anxious but with practice, you can definitely improve your skills.

    • @MissVasques
      @MissVasques 4 роки тому +21

      Take this example I heard.
      Ask some one out for dinner.
      Get a no.
      Did you have someone to go dinner before you asked?
      No, and not after either.
      In reality nothing actually changed.

    • @kiyoponnn
      @kiyoponnn 4 роки тому +3

      @@MissVasques Not bad😯

  • @MemesnShet
    @MemesnShet 3 роки тому +503

    “Let the other person do most of the talking”
    Two people who saw this same video:
    👁👄👁 👁👄👁

  • @nguyen2003
    @nguyen2003 4 роки тому +577

    Tip List Summary
    1. Detach your self worth from the outcome of the meeting.
    2. Meeting is a two way street. (the other person is just as nervous as you are)
    3. Do research on the other person. Sometimes (Get a gist of who they are or what they like doing)
    4. Practice visualization of a successful meeting.
    5. You don't look as nervous as you feel.
    6. Take deeper and slower breaths before going into interaction.
    7. Let the other person do the talking.
    "An interested person is an interesting person"

    • @dayzm6708
      @dayzm6708 4 роки тому +1

      Thanks a lot! :)

    • @ray7815
      @ray7815 4 роки тому +9

      Peter Nguyen * Let the OTTER do the talking.

    • @snoozyq9576
      @snoozyq9576 3 роки тому +1

      But I do look as nervous as I feel! I've had many people comment on it 😅

  • @SelfDevelopmentQuest
    @SelfDevelopmentQuest 4 роки тому +86

    It really does all come down to mindset. I took something heard about anxiety to heart. The way your body feels when anxious is the same way it feels when you are excited. Now, all you have to do is convince your mind that you are not nervous, but rather excited. You body feels the same way, but now your confidence level changes, and you can conquer the world!😎

  • @jaxx-inspiregrowcreate2862
    @jaxx-inspiregrowcreate2862 4 роки тому +63

    *We are all just people. Be yourself as this is the most rewarding lifestyle.*

  • @HumansOfVR
    @HumansOfVR 4 роки тому +163

    *_Tony robbins always talks about how changing your physical body helps change your mental state as well_*

    • @k0rrev
      @k0rrev 4 роки тому +2

      I find you in every self improvement channel comments section

    • @-xirx-
      @-xirx- 2 роки тому

      Some people are of the opinion that it is the other way around

  • @TheLifeFormulaa
    @TheLifeFormulaa 4 роки тому +145

    Fixing my posture and body language helps me calm my nerves when meeting new people

    • @virusladd
      @virusladd 4 роки тому

      This is a long term benefit of going to the gym. Short term being that you are generally more relaxed and loose.

    • @snoozyq9576
      @snoozyq9576 3 роки тому +6

      Until I start overthinking my posture and body language and worrying about them noticing me adjusting it awkwardly and that sends me on a spiral 😅

    • @ele3513
      @ele3513 3 роки тому

      @@snoozyq9576 omg yes I DO THE SAME:( does anyone know any simple tips for body language in these situations? like really simple ones haha

  • @ArturoCabello
    @ArturoCabello 4 роки тому +60

    Usually in these situations, we tend to overthink. It's so important to relax and let that be represented in our body language!

  • @rinoaaiger9873
    @rinoaaiger9873 3 роки тому +6

    Not me searching this up before I go out...

  • @leahayers7879
    @leahayers7879 3 роки тому +12

    My face literally tells everything I’m feeling, I DO look as nervous as I feel, people always know when I’m nervous, ITS THE WORST

  • @marcello4050
    @marcello4050 4 роки тому +65

    me: I'm an awesome person
    my anxiety: No Ron.

  • @fdlarts7676
    @fdlarts7676 4 роки тому +16

    Thank you for this. I just got back from a house warming party tonight and watched your video before going. I'm really glad that I went because normally I would've lied and told them that I have something to do because I'm a coward when it comes to parties. I ended up having a fun time and had a story to tell because I forgot to bring the donuts that I bought as a house warming gift, so I re-ordered them once I got there.

  • @joeyjusticeco
    @joeyjusticeco 4 роки тому +9

    Letting the other person do the talking is a great one. People love talking about themselves and it lets you get to know them better!

  • @itsdarrenyong
    @itsdarrenyong 4 роки тому +24

    Anxiety doesn't just walk away, but mindset is something , great content!

  • @studykendrick2029
    @studykendrick2029 4 роки тому +17

    I find that if you treat people the way you want to be treated it will be easier to build better relationships.

  • @Teddy_yb
    @Teddy_yb 4 роки тому +16

    This came right before me meeting a childhood friend I haven't seen in a decade. Thanks for this timing man seriously.

  • @falconcara
    @falconcara 4 роки тому +19

    This video is so good especially for introverts :)

  • @mrprox1800
    @mrprox1800 4 роки тому +9

    This video is exacly what I needed to hear today!!!

  • @equinn6504
    @equinn6504 4 роки тому +6

    I'm generally pretty good at letting my fear go and relaxing around new people. I'm currently going on dates regularly (bc lonely lol) and it's helped a lot. If you radiate self confidence they'll instantly like you more.
    What I've also found helpful is that I know a little about almost everything that could come up in a first time meeting, so the other person feels like I can relate to some degree but they can still impress me with their expertise on the subject. I don't pretend like I know everything, don't be that guy.

  • @thehustleproject2357
    @thehustleproject2357 4 роки тому +3

    Dude! I love the style of your videos, they keep me really engaged

  • @AmanCreatesArt
    @AmanCreatesArt 4 роки тому +17

    You've achieve the ideal beard length to hairstyle length ratio for your face here. And great video too!

  • @naj9658
    @naj9658 2 роки тому +2

    Straight to the point, great communicator, and got my attention, that kinda of speakers I like to listen to.
    Thank you for this great video

  • @kabirbissessar4657
    @kabirbissessar4657 4 роки тому +10

    Loving the new transitions😂❤️

  • @Cleaning_Hero
    @Cleaning_Hero 4 роки тому +1

    Thomas I wish I found your videos years ago. You are a great life-guide. All of your videos seem to address many obstacles I am currently facing. Thank you.

  • @MephistosEyes
    @MephistosEyes 4 роки тому

    Been watching your vids over the years, even starting off I could tell you had good potential. It's cool to see how much you've grown, and improved man. Always valuable info, applicable, and not stale.. I do miss the llamas though LOL Vids have been such an awesome help throughout the years.

  • @jacobvermeer9884
    @jacobvermeer9884 4 роки тому +1

    thanks for the vid, tom :) excited for sunday study tips to come back, i’ve missed it dearly. take care

  • @duser
    @duser 4 роки тому +3

    Tip#1 is the most important of all these tips imo. I used to be a nervous socially awkward wrek until I decided to be confident and ignore what i may think of the convo after it's finished. Here's a tip to trick yourself into being confident: start off with a good, strong handshake. works wonders

  • @Unique_O
    @Unique_O Рік тому +1

    Thank You SO MUSCH For The HELP! ❤😊

  • @Theworms-kq9tr
    @Theworms-kq9tr 11 місяців тому

    This helped a lot thank you!!

  • @youcutham4189
    @youcutham4189 4 роки тому

    Hope this helps going in for my first interview tomorrow. Thanks for the tips

  • @rivaldozoet4426
    @rivaldozoet4426 4 роки тому +459

    golden tip: take two shots of vodka and go with the flow. calmness will be increased by 37%

    • @SelfDevelopmentQuest
      @SelfDevelopmentQuest 4 роки тому +21

      This tip can be applied in all areas of life 😂😂😂

    • @letsgoBrandon204
      @letsgoBrandon204 3 роки тому +7

      A 37% increase on f**k all, is f**k all

    • @roughryder5
      @roughryder5 3 роки тому +50

      That’s also how you become an alcoholic

    • @snoozyq9576
      @snoozyq9576 3 роки тому +2

      @@roughryder5 literally what happened to me a few years back 😅

    • @mr.noseybonk8716
      @mr.noseybonk8716 3 роки тому +10

      @Mrnjau Yeah, it's called Atheism. Really sets you free

  • @fernyprojects
    @fernyprojects 3 роки тому +1

    that was a CLEAN ad transition

  • @burcuthebadass
    @burcuthebadass 4 роки тому

    Thank you Thomas! This was what i needed and a great video as always. 🙋🏻‍♀️

  • @humourdotcom1716
    @humourdotcom1716 4 роки тому +1

    I don't know where I would be without this channel. 😎 best content out there.

  • @adriand9656
    @adriand9656 4 роки тому

    thank you for this 🙏🏼

  • @curiousmercurius3562
    @curiousmercurius3562 4 роки тому

    I really needed this video today! Thank you very much Thomas ❤

  • @Kalyanii
    @Kalyanii 4 роки тому +1

    I loved the opening,Tom!

  • @putritd3230
    @putritd3230 4 роки тому

    Thanks, this is so helpful!

  • @allrevenuegone
    @allrevenuegone 4 роки тому +11

    I swear to god Thomes, you can read my mind. Video come right in my time of need, thank you.

    • @6023barath
      @6023barath 4 роки тому +2

      Yup, same here! Such a lifesaver haha!

  • @adammiller1718
    @adammiller1718 4 роки тому +1

    I never knew I needed those number announcements right up until now .

  • @puluqemil
    @puluqemil 4 роки тому +1

    Great video, thank you so much!!!

  • @christiana.1204
    @christiana.1204 4 роки тому +28

    THANK YOU VERY MUCH THOMAS!!! This is just uploaded right on time. I have an in person job interview tomorrow and I needed this.

  • @vibewithsri8064
    @vibewithsri8064 4 роки тому

    I have to meet a new professor who's gonna grade my oral test this weekend... And this is really helping... Thanks Tom 😭❤️

  • @AddittiAgrawal
    @AddittiAgrawal 4 роки тому

    this channel is lifesaving

  • @avanatroshy4732
    @avanatroshy4732 4 роки тому

    I love your videos so much and I get alot of benefits from them ,thank you so much for sharing ❤❤

  • @hiyayathere
    @hiyayathere 4 роки тому +1

    Thank you Thomas! I really needed this as my studies in university begin next month and I'm quite nervous about it - not about the studies but about the new people and whether I'll make new friends or just freeze when anxiety hits me.

  •  4 роки тому

    I really love the look of your videos. Awesome lightning!

  • @Ashley-ju4qd
    @Ashley-ju4qd Рік тому

    Thank you for this it gives me a sense of relief and in a way some confidence in my self worth. 😊

  • @albinamakina6908
    @albinamakina6908 4 роки тому +1

    The first 30 seconds already greatly helped ))

  • @bbk3078
    @bbk3078 3 роки тому

    Thanks dude. You helped me.

  • @PrometheusRiser
    @PrometheusRiser 4 роки тому +60

    What if I am meeting you for the first time to thank you in person for your content, how do I keep calm and not seeming overly weird?

    • @Thomasfrank
      @Thomasfrank  4 роки тому +28

      Whenever that happens, keep in mind the near-certainty that less than 24 hours have passed since I last yelled at Overwatch or lost yet another hoodie

    • @dinanfrost4008
      @dinanfrost4008 4 роки тому

      It doesn't seem weird to me ☺️

  • @hargur4121
    @hargur4121 4 роки тому +4

    Can you please make a video on Goal Tracking and Habit Tracking Methods

  • @KJM_Writes
    @KJM_Writes 4 роки тому +3

    That’s numberwang! I wonder how many viewers missed this awesome reference. Thanks for including it... made me laff! 😂

  • @joshlevelledup6593
    @joshlevelledup6593 4 роки тому

    Amazing segue into the sponsor as always

  • @xpg0
    @xpg0 4 роки тому +1

    your vids looks so cozy :)

  • @wonderlandofnishreen8103
    @wonderlandofnishreen8103 4 роки тому

    Really helpful tips 👌👌 thank you 🙏👍

  • @elenapogulyaeva9274
    @elenapogulyaeva9274 4 роки тому +10

    Hello from Russia, Thomas ! Your videos give me an opportunity to really improve my listening skills, thanks )
    And topic of the video helped too, you’re amazing!

    • @SelfDevelopmentQuest
      @SelfDevelopmentQuest 4 роки тому

      It's all about improving your skills every day on this self development journey we call life.

  • @SN-ly6yx
    @SN-ly6yx 4 роки тому +8

    2:52 I love your B roll 😂😂😂😂

  • @cferracini
    @cferracini 4 роки тому +3

    I always smile when I'm nervous to prevent me from panicking

  • @cindym5896
    @cindym5896 4 роки тому

    Thnks 4 all your videos. I alwys go back to them as I need.
    Thnku 4 all ur hard work n research.!
    (I dont understd hw ppl Thumbs down such helpful videos).

  • @Pedro-ss4dl
    @Pedro-ss4dl 4 роки тому +3

    I SWEAR I WAS SEARCHING FOR THIS ON UA-cam TODAY

    • @joeyjusticeco
      @joeyjusticeco 4 роки тому +3

      Maybe he did research on your and knew what video you wanted to see...

  • @heyheyheyhi
    @heyheyheyhi 2 роки тому

    Tom, I aspire to be like you! 😌 I love ALL of your content…

  • @wildcrackers4915
    @wildcrackers4915 4 роки тому +1

    I want to ask a guy out the day after tommorow.The video could not come at a better moment!!!Thanks😄

  • @BhomikGulati
    @BhomikGulati 4 роки тому

    Love this

  • @davidortega264
    @davidortega264 4 роки тому

    What always helps me, is to try acomplish my goals with the other people, my goals in general that i chase in my life, for instance, y use to say everything that appears in my mine with the potential to help the other person, to be more happy and be less miserable, or less ignorant,, like a joke, or like a good habit, or a interesting fact, i also crticate their ideas with respect and emphaty so they don't feel bad, i also do questions about the other person's life, because know that is more confortable that don't, and like that, i never use to have awkward conversations. I hope be helpful, remember, think about your goals and go for it

  • @gabrielalmeida6085
    @gabrielalmeida6085 4 роки тому +1

    Thomas, you could start a serie of videos talking about your progress in something you started, for example, start to learn a new language and show to us how to commit and don't quit, just a suggestion, regardings from Brasil !

  • @wg8290
    @wg8290 2 роки тому +1

    I'm 48 and think everyone I talk to just deals with me because they want something and don't really even care anything at all about me. I don't have an issue public speaking because I don't care, but when it's one on one I struggle. I've recently made a point to put myself in uncomfortable situations and try to make it through. It's a struggle.

  • @ANUPAM337
    @ANUPAM337 2 роки тому

    When trying to talk to new people, it often helps to have a routine in place, especially if you wanna talk to the other gender(s). I often fall back to simple magic tricks to start with and then a really fun imagination exercise called the cube that helps you talk about things like identitiy, ambition, relationship and fears all at one go! Smiling is very useful!!

  • @mahsa_ydp4176
    @mahsa_ydp4176 3 роки тому +1

    hi , i'm an 18 year old bisexual girl who is currently in a relationship with another girl. before covid was a thing everything was going great and i saw her everyday but as soon as quarantine started and we couldn't see each other anymore i developed very bad anxiety to the point where whenever she says she wants to see me i get very anxious and have panic attacks in which most of the times i throw up because that's how my body reacts to stress, and guess what? i have phobia of throwing up as well so that's not fun at all . i actually tried taking a break from the relationship this past summer in hopes of getting better but not being in a relationship with her made it even worse because i truly love her beyond imagination and i cannot imagine my life without her so i'm trying to overcome this meaningless anxiety and panic whenever my girlfriend texts me or wants to see me because i love her so so so much ( and no the anxiety is not because i'm scared of catching covid , i honestly have no clue what it is , i'm assuming its some sort of social anxiety ) anyways , i would be more than happy to hear anyone's advice or opinion on my situation , thank you for your time.

  • @gerrimiller3491
    @gerrimiller3491 2 роки тому

    I'm going to have courage and go out by myself and enjoy a coffee outdoors and read a good book. Hopefully, I'll meet some new people too

  • @FartGremlin
    @FartGremlin 3 роки тому

    Thank you I must praise you now you are my god

  • @TinyMedicine
    @TinyMedicine 4 роки тому

    Seeing you being calm infront of camera, I wish I had your level of confidence. Haha..

  • @lrowe6494
    @lrowe6494 2 роки тому

    Whenever I get nervous I hum or laugh ,I tap my foot, I try to keep away from the person that makes me nervous but doesn't always work . I have learning difference where I have trouble looking people in the eye

  • @kristapayne3292
    @kristapayne3292 3 роки тому

    This is brilliant 🙂🍰

  • @mav8535
    @mav8535 4 роки тому +1

    I was once rejected by my crush, wich was hard, but at least i tried and after that i can tell you, talking to girls i so so much easier as before. The time after that i met a girl who i thought was out of my league but it worked out :) that rule is definitely true.

  • @skynguyen3342
    @skynguyen3342 4 роки тому +1

    Wow good time I’m having an interview this afternoon.

  • @robinrichardson5821
    @robinrichardson5821 4 роки тому

    3. Do research on the other person. Sometimes (Get a gist of who they are or what they like doing)
    right so taking pictures of them changing through their bedroom window or do you mean looking into their college field their studying

  • @sayedhossainkingdom9255
    @sayedhossainkingdom9255 4 роки тому +1

    Brother can you make a video that How I can do better result in exam and doing my study properly. Can you give me some tips how I can do that thing?

  • @t_n_rasberry8387
    @t_n_rasberry8387 4 роки тому

    Thoughts that "Its only momentary".... also applies to approaching any type of fear.

  • @kelceyfirth
    @kelceyfirth 3 роки тому

    There was a guy wearing a shirt of a band I like on the last day of school before winter break, my friends helped me find him on Instagram so I started talking to him a couple days ago, I go back to school tomorrow and I’m so nervous to have to actually talk to him in real life aaaa

  • @farazparvez3853
    @farazparvez3853 4 роки тому

    Thomas,i miss the goat at the transition.Please bring it back.It had a really deep emotional significance for me.

  • @alejandrovaldez9165
    @alejandrovaldez9165 4 роки тому

    Got two new roommates today. What a time to come in clutch

  • @nikolaymarinov2043
    @nikolaymarinov2043 4 роки тому +1

    Regarding the last point, would you consider the possibility of appearing less interesting and more like a know-it-all, when you have a wider range of topics with a moderate understanding of? I have received that feedback on several occasions and would love to hear your opinion (I wouldn't consider myself smug, but then again, self-evaluation is rarely objective)

  • @t_n_rasberry8387
    @t_n_rasberry8387 4 роки тому +2

    Just ask questions about other people because people like hearing themselves talk and like sharing their interests

  • @keanuadonis7969
    @keanuadonis7969 4 роки тому

    IT crowd reference

  • @Hiepphandang0702
    @Hiepphandang0702 2 роки тому +1

    All the tips :
    #1. - Get out of the rejection.
    -My self-worth is not being affected by thr rejection.
    #2. The meeting is a two-way street.
    - The people will feel the same as you feel.
    #3. Try to research on the people .
    #4. Make a saying that you will win.
    #5. I look as nervous as I feel.
    #6.Breath deep and slow before the conversation.
    #7. Do the listening , let the person do the taking.
    #8. An interested people is an interesting people.

  • @connarbott
    @connarbott 4 роки тому +1

    What's the best utube clip on the matrix and how they ended it ??? Save me watching anymore these things

  • @101CreeperEater
    @101CreeperEater 4 роки тому +4

    Omg that "no, Ron" meme made me laugh 😂😂😂

  • @georgevourtzoumis2967
    @georgevourtzoumis2967 3 роки тому

    Did anyone notice the picture of Cave Johnson from Portal 2 in the background? it's right next to Thomas's shoulder.

  • @tpeasetiger
    @tpeasetiger 4 роки тому

    I like that typo too! Lol. The Otter person. 😂

  • @ghn_yug3351
    @ghn_yug3351 2 роки тому

    They’re just as nervous as I am.
    Have a mindset that it will go well.
    I don’t look as nervous as I am.
    Be confident in myself.

  • @t_n_rasberry8387
    @t_n_rasberry8387 4 роки тому

    Hopefully that is your website that I just gave my email to for a copy of that book. I dont like spam emails but took a risk since it's from you and I like your content because it's always so detail and knowledgeable.

    • @Thomasfrank
      @Thomasfrank  4 роки тому +1

      Yep, College Info Geek is my site! And if you ever don’t enjoy the emails, you can unsubscribe whenever you want - there’s a link at the bottom of each email.

    • @t_n_rasberry8387
      @t_n_rasberry8387 4 роки тому

      @@Thomasfrank no that's ok. I'll subscribe. Just sometimes I get too many email in such a short time from one person. If it's a new book/article or any new thing you personally wrote I would like notification for example I would like to know about it and purchase.

  • @t_n_rasberry8387
    @t_n_rasberry8387 4 роки тому

    Yep I was screaming inside really loud but on the outside it look like I was normal

  • @No-dy3zk
    @No-dy3zk 3 роки тому

    I notice you got a picture of Cave Johnson from Portal2 on your wall. Where can I get one?

  • @stoborking
    @stoborking 4 роки тому +3

    What happens if both of you follow rule 7?

  • @JitendraKumar-ez6jh
    @JitendraKumar-ez6jh 2 роки тому

    Know the chemistry of yours and quality investment on self and even out from comfort zone. Even the social environment and adopt it by know it proactive way

  • @worldsbeauty5876
    @worldsbeauty5876 4 роки тому

    Thomas please make a video on " how to stay calm while meeting unlikable people"

  • @abdo600644
    @abdo600644 4 роки тому

    funny how this is posted on the first day of my internship lol

  • @roshanalall124
    @roshanalall124 2 роки тому

    This afternoon I'm starting GED classes and I'm so nervous. My neck hurts so much

  • @bjornkarlsen3388
    @bjornkarlsen3388 4 роки тому +1

    I want the audio of that guitar clip