How to Be More Confident Than Anyone You Know: 5 Effective Tips

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  • Опубліковано 13 жов 2016
  • If you want to build lasting self-confidence, defeat your insecurities, and feel comfortable in any situation, the 5 strategies I outline in this video should help.
    Confidence is - without a doubt - a skill that you can build with practice and deliberate changes to the way you look at the world.
    Today I'll share the tweaks I made to my own mindset that helped me to overcome my own self-doubt and become more confident. I'll also share some actionable techniques that you can start using right now.
    After you watch this video, you should also check out Charisma on Command's video breaking down Conor McGregor's confidence (I found it to be a helpful case study):
    • How To Build Unwaverin...
    Hard Skills vs. Soft Skills:
    collegeinfogeek.com/hard-vs-s...
    My book "10 Steps to Earning Awesome Grades" is completely free, so check it out if you're interested in improving your grades!
    collegeinfogeek.com/get-better...
    You can also subscribe to my podcast to get over 130 hours of study/productivity tips and more:
    collegeinfogeek.com/cast/
    Read the companion article for this video:
    collegeinfogeek.com/building-...
    ----------
    Videos you might want to watch next:
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    How to overcome a FAILURE: • How to Bounce Back fro...
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    ~ created by Thomas Frank

КОМЕНТАРІ • 740

  • @marksusername
    @marksusername 7 років тому +672

    I gotta say, your brutal honesty about your past life shows that you really do care about helping people through UA-cam.

    • @soniasingh384
      @soniasingh384 6 років тому +11

      marksusername well acne is not really something drastic

    • @khan9017
      @khan9017 4 роки тому +2

      Ask somebody who went through such experience

    • @chloebateman8571
      @chloebateman8571 4 роки тому +13

      @@soniasingh384 Yeah but even having acne can have a big effect on someone's confidence especially if he got bullied

    • @ROBIN-dk3fp
      @ROBIN-dk3fp 3 роки тому +1

      I agree

  • @Lamsaturn
    @Lamsaturn 7 років тому +44

    I'm still working on my self-confidence, but just a couple risks I was terrified of taking at the time really helped me. I took drama in 7th grade just because my friends were in it. Being forced to perform onstage (with my friends backing me up) really helped me once I got past the initial hump. I remember this one performance where there was a technical problem that put me on the spot-- but rather than floundering, I improvised and owned it. It went over even better than the scripted version, and I look back on that to encourage myself. :)

  • @Thomasfrank
    @Thomasfrank  7 років тому +76

    It took way longer than normal, but here's the companion article for this video: collegeinfogeek.com/building-confidence/

    • @OfficialDennis
      @OfficialDennis 7 років тому +1

      Great work man!

    • @jaimeflor4181
      @jaimeflor4181 7 років тому +5

      I think consistency helps in confidence as well. I could use an example from my life, but lets go with boxers instead. Usually, when a boxer's inactive for 1-2 years, it hampers their return to the ring. They might be in the gym everyday, but it's not the same thing as fighting 2-3 times a year. I think this also true when it comes to going to school, dating, and performance arts.

    • @aarongonzalez4376
      @aarongonzalez4376 7 років тому +2

      Thomas Frank that Shia labeuf clip scared the fuck outta me man holy shit that came outta nowhere

    • @camilleroseministries
      @camilleroseministries 7 років тому

      Jaime Flor wtf? 😎

    • @camilleroseministries
      @camilleroseministries 7 років тому

      Aaron Gonzalez We call him Shariah LaPoof. 😎

  • @PumpkinSmasher79
    @PumpkinSmasher79 7 років тому +117

    I love you, Tom! Your videos, articles and podcast help me improve myself every day.

    • @Prim3Pursuits
      @Prim3Pursuits 7 років тому +17

      I agree his videos are fun and useful!

  • @tradeeagle
    @tradeeagle 6 років тому +29

    "fake it til you make it" first heard it 60 years ago and it still says it all..thanks for your vids wish they were around for us boomers when we were college students

  • @lizykim7460
    @lizykim7460 6 років тому +111

    Gain experience in relevant areas
    Gain experience in related areas
    Don't delay jumping into the main activity
    People don't care as much as you think
    People love confidence
    -> avoid being average
    Always try to do it
    Record your accomplishments so you can look back
    Speak less and more slowly
    Smile more and focus on the other person

    • @Ckjohn77kg
      @Ckjohn77kg 5 років тому +6

      Experience is king.
      Be brave.
      Evaluate.
      Just do it.
      Be awesome, be for and with others.

  • @NFNCDUBSTEP
    @NFNCDUBSTEP 7 років тому +134

    So this might be a lot to ask but I've got a problem with input overload. As someone who, like yourself, is a self-improvement junkie, I tend to overload myself with information. This leads to not actually giving my mind time to implement the information that I've learned so I'm not actually making any mindset shifts or changing my habits or behaviors. So if you're interested I think a good video would be one that covers something along those lines of how to manage the information you take in and maybe scheduling review days where 2 to 3 days you go over the stuff you've taken notes on or read. Also a side question is, do you focus on one subject/concept at a time until you get it or are you constantly studying different things? Thanks for all the videos they help a lot!

    • @NinjaBunni13
      @NinjaBunni13 7 років тому

      Kyle Weinrich yes yes yes please

    • @alerp0712
      @alerp0712 7 років тому

      Hey! I believe he already made videos on the topic. This is called spaced repetition, a learning technique mentioned in the book A mind for numbers by Barbara Oakley, which Thomas mentioned in some of his videos. I recommend reading that book or taking the MOOC "Learning how to learn", which is based on the book :) there are some other useful techniques in that book as well that might help.

    • @Annapaz25
      @Annapaz25 7 років тому +3

      Kyle Weinrich how about you figure out a cool.method to study effectively and the, I'm not saying that you should record a video but maybe write a post blog or create an infographic. it's better to do it yourself. When you prepare yourself to teach something to someone else you learn better and you create skills you didn't know you were capable of.

    • @theTranscendentOnes
      @theTranscendentOnes 7 років тому +3

      how about you stop overloading yourself then, and just pick one method and stick with it for a month.

    • @lucascesar9510
      @lucascesar9510 7 років тому +3

      Great video subject.

  • @TheKingWasi
    @TheKingWasi 7 років тому +2

    I think the biggest mistake people make when trying to be more confident is having the notion of waiting to "become more confident before I take that action." You have take the action first, especially if you fear it, if it makes you feel uncomfortable, but you know it's good for you, and the confidence will come AFTER you take the action. I've noticed with anything in my life that I got confident at, the confidence always came after I took the action over and over again. Frank, you did a wonderful job of iterating this point throughout your video. Kudos and let me know if there's ever anything I can for you! Much love.

  • @MegaGasek
    @MegaGasek 7 років тому +3

    Thank you! I am sure your videos are helping a lot of people. I consider you one of my favourites on youtube of all my subscriptions.

  • @TheStardust02
    @TheStardust02 7 років тому

    Hey Thomas! I just wanted to say THANK YOU because I can trully notice the level of quality you put into your contect - whether that's your video, how you edit it, what you say and mention, or your blog. The article and the video were packed with information!
    So thank you!

  • @SimplySoccer
    @SimplySoccer 7 років тому +25

    Not sure if you have already or not, but could you make a video going in more depth about how to keep a daily accomplishment journal?

  • @lalaithan
    @lalaithan 7 років тому +1

    Charisma On Command's channel helped me be a better person on the outside. I took his pointers and really worked to apply them in daily conversations. I also find the daily accomplishments a good confidence boost. I had never thought about using them to create my next goals, great idea!

  • @noheliagomeza
    @noheliagomeza 7 років тому +3

    Amazing video,Thomas! I personally relate to the bit where you mentioned that by realizing people don't actually care about the little details you feel insecure about, you can build up the confidence to just do whatever task you were feeling afraid of. This has helped me a lot to cultivate my own confidence throughout the years.

  • @ABeardedDad
    @ABeardedDad 7 років тому +1

    Awesome video man. This is why I'm subbed to your channel. One of your best yet. Needs more views.

  • @annawaiq6360
    @annawaiq6360 5 років тому +1

    I absolutely love that I always learn something new in your videos

  • @AyeshaNoelle
    @AyeshaNoelle 7 років тому +3

    You've helped me so much! With my grades and with my self image, thanks Tom! 😊

  • @ilibertyi
    @ilibertyi 7 років тому +2

    In fact, I appreciate your blog and videos so much, I share them with my graduate students every year!!!

  • @s.carmen
    @s.carmen 7 років тому +13

    just wanted to say that you're doing a great job and you're awesome!

  • @carolinacastelan3094
    @carolinacastelan3094 7 років тому +2

    This is deeply powerful. Really love all your content Thomas! I've learn a lot from you. THANK YOU.

  • @matejkalebic112
    @matejkalebic112 7 років тому

    This was awesome man! I look forward to your videos every week! And now that I think about it, you've done so much for me through your content, soo I just wanna say thanks

  • @renaelingafelt-beeker3939
    @renaelingafelt-beeker3939 7 років тому

    Been subscribing and watching your videos the entire two years I have been in graduate school and they have helped me! Thank you! Keep up the great work!

  • @Mecanismos
    @Mecanismos 7 років тому +13

    Man, this video really speaks to me at this point. I published my first blog post in months and started taking an online public speaking course. This is came after a long time of not feeling prepared and 'waiting for the right moment' to dig in my creative endevours. I finally came to the realization that this chronic procrastination problem was due to a severe lack of self-confidence, which I am working on at the moment.
    I especially like the accomplishment list, I'll be implementing it soon in my journal.
    Great stuff Thomas! You keep getting better every week.
    P.S. After listening to this week's CIG podcast I felt like throwing all my clothes in the trash and buying new ones. Maybe that would help my confidence as well

    • @Thomasfrank
      @Thomasfrank  7 років тому +3

      Thank you - and glad the video helped!
      And yeah, I feel the same - I'm actually headed over to that store Antonio suggested in the episode later today. I've only ever owned a cheap, ill-fitting suit; it's probably time to get something a little higher-quality :)

  • @cloudiiskiez8198
    @cloudiiskiez8198 3 роки тому +1

    can i just say this has helped me soooo much! i wont get to deep but once i was doing a solo and 2 girls started laughing and this hit me hard. i completely broke down and ever since then ive been absoultely horrified of the idea of me singing by myself infront of people who are staring at me and only me. im particapating in a talent show (part of our yr 6 leaver things) and im thinking of singing so this has helped me so much

  • @notasweetheart956
    @notasweetheart956 6 років тому

    Same as most of previous comments - I really happy I found your channel. Great content. Moreover great style of delivering it!

  • @amnerardon9457
    @amnerardon9457 7 років тому

    thank you thomas for having confidence and sharing how to make others the same that have a problem with it. one video led to another and i enjoy listening to what you have to say.

  • @cninusa
    @cninusa 7 років тому +1

    You are an awesome speaker. Subscribed after watched your second video. Thank you!

  • @annasan2889
    @annasan2889 7 років тому

    I stumbled upon your UA-cam because I'm struggling with this course I'm taking right now. I just want to thank you for all of your videos. You have helped me so much! It was a long time ago that I was this productive and committed to learning. Keep it up, you're awesome! :)

  • @pamelacuebas596
    @pamelacuebas596 7 років тому

    Loved this! I really admire your work. Thank you for contributing to the world with such positive and inspirational messages. Keep up the great work!

  • @lizg6389
    @lizg6389 7 років тому +6

    You are such an inspiring and motivational person, thank you for your videos.

  • @r1k2rd39
    @r1k2rd39 7 років тому

    I love it that you bring personal stories as examples to make things more understandable.

  • @madisoncurthoys19
    @madisoncurthoys19 6 років тому

    I really enjoy your content Thomas! You have lots of knowledge but it comes across very humble and kind rather than arrogant and obnoxious. You are doing an excellent Job with the channel. :)

  • @charlenenicer5081
    @charlenenicer5081 7 років тому +1

    Thank you so much, these are the things I needed to hear right now.

  • @raghadsartwork7585
    @raghadsartwork7585 7 років тому +6

    I feel this video is a message for me.. I was asked yesterday to make a presentation in college but it's the first time for me and I get tense when talking in front of people.. I know I have to say yes and face it the right way.. Thank you very much!

  • @JohnDoe-sv2lh
    @JohnDoe-sv2lh 7 років тому

    I respect the fact that you actually made a video on how to become more confident. Especially because you've pointed out some very true points. Also, the way you approach what you're trying to convey shows the audience the level of your confidence.

  • @melodysparrow6895
    @melodysparrow6895 7 років тому

    This is fantastic, such helpful advice! Putting the focus on what makes the other person happy instead of worrying about what they think is really insightful. Great video

  • @Convenientsalmon
    @Convenientsalmon 7 років тому +2

    Been doing the majority of these for a few months myself. Great to see a video on it for others as well as fleshing it out more for myself. Helped me enormously come out of my shell this year, and I hope to continue to do so until I am indistinguishable from a 'naturally confident' person, as others describe them.

  • @graduatecoach5336
    @graduatecoach5336 6 років тому

    These videos and the website are first class, I would watch all the videos...read the transcripts...take notes, subscribe to this channel, read his blog. This guy is seriously bright and wonderfully helpful ! Well done mate chris davies

  • @shafaata3122
    @shafaata3122 7 років тому

    Dude, you rock! Things seem more doable the way you put them and I'm actually able to accomplish tasks following your advice. Guess all we need is a bit of hope and motivation :)

  • @ilibertyi
    @ilibertyi 7 років тому +1

    Very helpful - I especially appreciated the mindset tips and the last thing you said about keeping the focus on the other person. Thanks!!

  • @HeroSosh
    @HeroSosh Рік тому

    Good watch with some seriously helpful tips. Glad I came across it. Thx for making it

  • @jigeumjieun
    @jigeumjieun 7 років тому +1

    Awesome video as always Thomas!

  • @smilingscholar8697
    @smilingscholar8697 7 років тому

    Amazing video + tips! I always put small 'joke' slides in my presentation to help remind myself to be a little more animated and confident by hearing a few giggles and seeing some smiles. I also love to go into a presentation with the mindset that I will be educating my audience (even if they know the material as well as I do) or at least offering something new and of value to their lives. Keep up the great work Thomas!

  • @drsampritha8833
    @drsampritha8833 6 років тому

    Thank you for helping throughout my Med school.
    My go to vids just before any seminar/ presentation / exam.
    Wishing you good luck for all your future ventures.
    ☺️☺️👍🏼

  • @Indy.
    @Indy. 7 років тому +1

    Your videos are so helpful. Thank you!

  • @ishantsingh3366
    @ishantsingh3366 2 роки тому

    Usually I would gey distracted in just 2 minutes of any video but once this vid was over I couldn't believe I sat up straight for about 15 minutes in one shot... this guy really knows his way !

  • @ramkoduri9907
    @ramkoduri9907 3 роки тому

    Thank you! for all your videos they have been a great resource to improve myself and have been very useful in my life.

  • @andrewjohnson5530
    @andrewjohnson5530 6 років тому +1

    Great video! Thank you for taking the time to make this it really helped me today!

  • @bryannaschuh8086
    @bryannaschuh8086 6 років тому +1

    i recently found your channel and i love it !!! great job

  • @increteaceng7188
    @increteaceng7188 7 років тому

    Hey Thomas , thanks a lot for all the videos . They are amazing and so helpful

  • @AnhLe-nu7ic
    @AnhLe-nu7ic 6 років тому

    This is an amazing channel. I am so glad youtube recommended this for me. This helps me improve my life. thanks Tom

  • @jaibirsinghbatth3804
    @jaibirsinghbatth3804 5 років тому

    U r doing incredible work Thomas and i really mean that .... such kinda things need to b taught in the schools and colleges...

  • @whatlauralikes.
    @whatlauralikes. 7 років тому +1

    Your videos are also so so great, this one is what I needed to hear. Thank you !!!

  • @abdullahsy7072
    @abdullahsy7072 7 років тому +1

    Just another wonderful video dude
    you ignited some good sparks in me :D

  • @MartiinCarrillo
    @MartiinCarrillo 4 роки тому +1

    Great video! I really liked the idea of the accomplishment journal

  • @abigailpitie8590
    @abigailpitie8590 5 років тому +1

    Thank you so much for this video!

  • @kevinsweeting8664
    @kevinsweeting8664 7 років тому

    Awesome video. Very clear and helpful tips to become more confident. I'm definitely going use them. Thanks!

  • @ana-vv8sl
    @ana-vv8sl 6 років тому +1

    another awesome video as always Thomas, thank you :)

  • @olgasimon4042
    @olgasimon4042 7 років тому

    Thank you very much for the video! I adore to watch you. You give so many valuable lessons! Thank you million times!

  • @nyomnyom1809
    @nyomnyom1809 6 років тому +1

    This was beautiful! Thank you!

  • @sofiaviola4796
    @sofiaviola4796 7 років тому

    Never disappointed with your videos. There's always excellent advice and strategies that one can easily put into practice. 👏👏👏
    What I find great is that you share first hand experiences which make it even more relatable and motivating.

  • @jessicaboisvenue5716
    @jessicaboisvenue5716 7 років тому +56

    This might be my favorite video you've ever made

  • @toxicmoocow72
    @toxicmoocow72 6 років тому

    Im extremely glad I found this video! Thanks!

  • @annat4209
    @annat4209 2 роки тому

    This advice is gold, especially the insight about how listening to the other person without trying to impress them actually teaches us that we don’t have to impress people in order to feel confident.

  • @alysonh1071
    @alysonh1071 4 роки тому +1

    super useful video, thank you so much :) already feel more confident

  • @TheRoadrunz
    @TheRoadrunz 7 років тому +1

    I could say this was at least one of your most inspiring videos.... You clearly were talking with passion .....there for i must say this was a great video....:)

  • @gabi-chan7806
    @gabi-chan7806 5 років тому +1

    Thank you!! Your videos are really useful :)

  • @johncabrera9954
    @johncabrera9954 4 роки тому +1

    Thank you for your awesome advise.

  • @slightlyferalraccoon
    @slightlyferalraccoon 7 років тому

    This is definitely one of the best videos you've made... Just excellent. Thanks for the confidence boost. 😁

  • @andrelaberge7607
    @andrelaberge7607 7 років тому +1

    everything you have said is giving me more confidence in life you have a new fan now

  • @ricardorobles4447
    @ricardorobles4447 7 років тому +1

    Tremendous useful dude, I wasn't challenging my self to get accomplished more goals, and now I'll try to find more goals cause you feel like more energized by doing it than just have one single big goal and living slow, without see any changes, but just waiting to get that goal. So thanks a lot for help me to realize that, I appreciate it to you, suscribed

  • @meryemosmanaga4191
    @meryemosmanaga4191 6 років тому +1

    Thank you Thomas this is a great video 👍🏻

  • @madison5787
    @madison5787 7 років тому

    Excellent video. Thanks for all you do, it really does help people!

  • @paolaobispo8793
    @paolaobispo8793 7 років тому

    Thank you for your work. It is always awesome content.

  • @MauroFanti
    @MauroFanti 7 років тому +1

    Loved these suggestions! Thank you! :D

  • @juliacollazoactress
    @juliacollazoactress 7 років тому +11

    "Confidence comes from experience." My mom says this to me all of the time. And she is one of the most successful people I know! Thank you for this video, @ThomasFrank! As a person who wants to act in films, I have become less and less afraid of auditions and shoots purely because I have now experienced it multiple times. :) It's true--it gets better, because YOU get better!

  • @meganunderstars
    @meganunderstars 7 років тому

    This was so helpful! Liked and added to favourites to refer to later. Thanks, Tom! :)

  • @esperanzaespejo8182
    @esperanzaespejo8182 7 років тому +2

    I love this video! Thanks!

  • @Swazzer
    @Swazzer 6 років тому +1

    Amazing video thank you very much for the knowledge and the tools

  • @castlebyastream
    @castlebyastream 7 років тому

    Super helpful and encouraging for me. Thank you so much, Thomas!

  • @nabailarina
    @nabailarina 7 років тому

    Not only your videos are extremelly helpful, with great content and tips, but also well edited.
    Awesome work! Congratulations! And thank you so much.
    High five from a brazillian game designer :)

  • @urabossman3920
    @urabossman3920 6 років тому

    I love this video dude! Confidence is so key driving to success, I love what you’re saying that confidence can be learned . When you believe nothing can stop you nothing can stop you. Keep crushing it 💪💪💪🏆🏆☝️🙏👌

  • @KartikSharma-ls7tp
    @KartikSharma-ls7tp 7 років тому

    video worth the wait... best self Improvement vid so far (y)

  • @TrishBlackwell
    @TrishBlackwell 3 роки тому +1

    *_Thanks, Thomas!_*

  • @Rosehipss
    @Rosehipss 7 років тому +1

    Ahh the last tip was too good, thank you! Subscribed! x

  • @raimibuki4234
    @raimibuki4234 5 років тому

    Excellent video full of real tips! Thank you Thomas :)

  • @GilmarGirl
    @GilmarGirl 7 років тому

    Your videos are always so interesting and helpful, and such great quality. They inspire me so much. Thank you for what you do! :)

  • @AnettVEVO
    @AnettVEVO 7 років тому

    I have this same problem that you had when you were younger. Thanks for an awesome video!

  • @OfficialDennis
    @OfficialDennis 7 років тому

    Great video, really helped me as I am a beginning freshman in a new environment!
    Keep being awesome!

  • @eduardobarbosa9413
    @eduardobarbosa9413 7 років тому

    Great video. These strategies look useful and they're pretty objective. From my personal experience, all of them seem helpful.

  • @Pinkkittenpaw
    @Pinkkittenpaw 7 років тому +4

    This is the best confidence video I've ever seen!!
    and I have seen a lot.......

  • @siddi73
    @siddi73 7 років тому +2

    Excellent video Tom, keep it up buddy!

  • @signaturebyrose
    @signaturebyrose 7 років тому

    This was so good! Real content, real benefit. I love how you break things down. Unfortunately I have to watch this like 2 more times. Wish I could take it off of YT and save it into Evernote lol. I previously watched the vid on McGregor and it was also very helpful.

  • @franciswargirai3593
    @franciswargirai3593 6 років тому

    Thank you so much. I loved your video.

  • @rolandpointoh
    @rolandpointoh 7 років тому

    Love that last tip! I'm going to start applying that 😊

  • @LisaJeane
    @LisaJeane 5 років тому

    Thank you for the idea of keeping a daily accomplishment journal. I generally have to-do lists and track other things I need to get done - but to actually track my wins - great point!

  • @brennabeloved8540
    @brennabeloved8540 7 років тому +2

    This was a really great video! I also really enjoyed your podcast with Life Skills That Matter. You guys should do more stuff together, like collaby things or something idk. I would love to see more on the accomplishment journal. I have started using my planner to journal how I spend my time but it's a bit hard to keep track of exactly I've accomplished besides just how long I have spent working on something..

  • @mb26158
    @mb26158 7 років тому

    Great video! I appreciate the real world examples you give 👍🏻

  • @thribhu3
    @thribhu3 6 років тому

    This was a mind blower and mind opener. Thanks for all these tips and keeping them so clear, and associatable (for me atleast). I loved the part about the figure skating and the translation of the techniques to other areas. Thanks much again.
    And please make more similar videos, Especially focusing on the stuff that "Dawned" upon you, cos it is much when the epiphany hits that quite an awareness is created.

  • @aliefnugroho4648
    @aliefnugroho4648 6 років тому

    Thank you Thomas.

  • @adnanmustafa73
    @adnanmustafa73 7 років тому +108

    Whenever I try to be a good listener in a conversation, the other person ends up narrating their whole life story/personal stuff/irrelevant details to me. This happens when I'm talking to strangers, friends, family. But the problem is that it leads to too much time wastage and I want to know how do I get them to stop talking without coming across as being uninterested?

    • @ivingzuniga841
      @ivingzuniga841 7 років тому +44

      Adnan Mustafa omg same. I actually almost never talk about myself, it's always about the other person but that hasn't helped me get more confident. I end up bored and trying to find an excuse to shake people off

    • @adnanmustafa73
      @adnanmustafa73 7 років тому +4

      Phew! At least I'm not alone in this. If you find a solution to this problem, call me up.

    • @adnanmustafa73
      @adnanmustafa73 7 років тому +7

      It still makes me feel happy subconsciously that I could be the one they chose to share their most treasured memories with.

    • @0wnter1d1ck
      @0wnter1d1ck 7 років тому +27

      Because trying to look interested in front of the person you are talking to is not the same as focusing to him ,actually you are concerning more about how you can look interested than about him.
      Try to be yourself and react based on what you truly feel

    • @TigreXspalterLP
      @TigreXspalterLP 7 років тому +6

      Just be honest and say it.