core body image memories & struggles
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- Опубліковано 23 сер 2022
- Sierra Schultzzie, Riayn Christina, and Paloma Malfavon talk all things body image-from learning to love themselves, unlearning others' expectations, and how to embrace the things that make them unique.
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About Twenty Whatever
Twenty Whatever features Sierra Schultzzie, Riayn Christina, and Paloma Malfavon talking candidly about navigating your 20's with your friends through different phases of life. (formerly Sierra Unfiltered)
This episode was edited by Rachel Resnick
core body image struggles + memories
• core body image memori... - Розваги
I have a ton of freckles. One day, I was at work when I was 19 years old and a mother came up to me with her 7-ish year old daughter. She said, “see, people grow up to be beautiful with freckles like this young lady” when referring to me. I couldn’t help but tear up. I remember going through being teased because I was covered in them and hating them.
As soon as Riayn said that there were more black boys than black girls in their predominantly white school, I knew EXACTLY where she was going with her story. It’s such a hard thing feeling alienated from people who should be in your corner
Yessss😊
Y’all. The second puberty conversation resonates so stinking loud- As a 25 year old going through it currently, this is so validating. I have stretch marks on my thighs for the first time in my whole life, and realized literally today that they are OVER MY HIP BONES! Like- my entire bone structure is literally changing and I’m over here not even giving myself the grace to try on a new pant size. Thank you ladies for serving realness and love 🧡 here’s to the grown woman era 👏🏻
what gets me every time is thinking about how EVERY woman has story like this. No matter how you look, someone will find something "ugly" or "undesirable" about any random aspect of your body. The most gorgeous person you know? they've had someone pick apart their body. Someone's been made fun of for their upturned nose, and someone else has been made fun of for their sloped down nose. There is no perfect, and there is no winner! everyone is just hurt from early on and then we all have to do the work to repair our relationships with our bodies and how we view other women's bodies
Ladies…. This episode was so raw. I found myself wanting to hug the younger versions of you. These stories broke my heart. You are all so special. Iove you guys!!!
I genuinely believe Body Neutrality has changed my life. Once I realized I didn’t have to be IN LOVE with my body to be happy was the second I felt alive. Accepting who I am at this stage and age in my life and not chasing the literally child body I had at 16, 17 , 18, 19 is so freeing
Body image struggles are so common and it’s so important to talk about all different experiences to normalize it!!
What I wouldn’t give to talk and have a long conversation every week with a couple girls like y’all. I enjoy listening to y’all and feeling seen as a woman in my 20s.
When I was 21 I gained 20 lbs in the past year after 5 years of weighing the same and not growing anymore and I always called it my adult weight and I had never heard anyone else call it that. Exactly what you ladies were talking about I'm not a kid anymore so I don't have a kid body was my thought process.
Same thing with me!
I'm 22 and going through something very similar
this episode was so good! it was a heavy topic that you guys delivered lightly and i enjoyed laughing along with you as i remembered my own shaving stories
I’m just 30 minutes into this episode and this made me so emotional already. Realising that what’s been blocking me even til this day are comments from middle school boys I got 15 years ago, which sounds ridiculous said like that 😭😭😭 this episode is definitely encouraging me to be more confident and finally have the courage to truly love my body (and especially my natural hair). Thank you girls, as a 25 yo girl I love your podcast so much !!!
Riayn’s story resonated with me so much. Being the only “chocolate drop” is extremely isolating. The comments about being pretty for a black really makes you not want to be black when you hear it all the time. And that’s so raven also did a lot for me to love my body type and my skin
Is there anyone who didn’t cry or tear up listening to this?! You all empower so many people. Love you!
Love this episode so much! I literally started crying when Riayn told her first story about going to the restroom to cry. All the deep feels. Y’all ladies are working magic with this podcast!
Don’t worry Riayn I’m tearing up too lol. I feel like this podcast is so important. I wish I had something like this growing up just to know I wasn’t the only one struggling, with body image specifically. Like you all said, That’s So Raven was a GAME CHANGER. They need shows and episodes like that again to combat the social media expectations of the new generations for sure!
When I read “core body image memories” so many came to mind. But the one that I think stuck the most was when I was either 8 or 9 I got a bad bad stomach virus and missed a softball game and a couple practices. For some reason I knew I had lost 7 pounds. I guess my mom put me on the scale, that part is a little fuzzy. When I finally came back all the adults told me how great I looked and that they could tell I had lost weight…when they all knew I was gone because I had a STOMACH VIRUS. And I was a CHILD! I wasn’t even an overweight child either. I wasn’t thin, but I wasn’t overweight. I remember hating that everyone thought I looked “bad” before 😔
Girls I’m 31yo and this has helped me so much. Just hearing and taking the time to stop and recognize the struggles. I have had 3 kids my youngest just turned 1yo and I can’t remember the last time I looked in the mirror. I avoid mirrors and even taking pics. So horrible because I miss out on all the pics I could have taken from the past decade. I kept saying well one day I will be back to my 18yo body then I will be able to look in the mirror. But I’m not going to go back to that. My body has delivered 3 children and that’s wonderful. I’m going to start my journey to accepting my body for what it is in the moment. Thank you. You girls are changing life’s and giving so much representation much needed on this platform.
This is the best episode of Twenty Whatever so far, the conversation felt really natural and lots of different interesting perspectives.
Thank you Riayn for talking about seeing your body change. And being confused and shocked at first.. I'm 27 next week and have only just started noticing this year that my hips have gotten really wide. Not from weight gain as I had thought but it seems from general aging and natural bodily changes. You made me feel so much more accepting of this and proud that I am a woman and this is my natural body and she will do her thing. 💛💛💛 It means a lot to me this podcast. Thank you all, please keep being you and talking about all the crap and good bits we deal with in our 20s... You are making me feel so not alone! 🙏
Seriously need to educate women more on second puberty. I turned 25 a few months ago and have been so hard on my body for the weight gain and my hips getting so much bigger. Thanks for helping me remember to give my body grace and that we’re all going through it ❤️
I remember being eight years old and we were learning about weights and measurements in school. Our teacher asked us to weigh ourselves and write it down, and then was asking people for their answers. However, before she asked she said "And no one should weigh more than 40kg". I had just started to hit puberty, and I weighed exactly 40kg. I was so ashamed I erased my answer and wrote a different one, and that was the first moment I internalised the idea that my body was wrong.
When I was growing up, and even now at 31, my mom will listen to me gripe about anything but she will ask me beforehand "Do you want me to just listen or do you want me to offer a solution?" that was always so nice because it gives me the opportunity to evaluate what I want out of the conversation and to manage expectations on both sides. I love her for that.
I’d love to see a follow up on how to help shape the mindset on how to improve. As Sierra is raising Grace, how does she aim to help nurture self love? Loved this episode!
I’m so glad you guys made this podcast. You’re so special and I’m so glad you have each other!!
This episode was so amazing and so needed!! Thank y’all for talking about these hard to talk about topics!! ❤️❤️
This whole episode felt like a warm hug. Thank you, ladies 💜
Gosh I love this new podcast rebrand so much!!! Every episode has been a hit. Thank you guys for being so vulnerable and open. This was so relatable and beautiful!
Definitely one of my fav episodes of this podcast, thanks for being so relatable and so raw! Middle school was rough for a lot of people and the relatability of those stories makes so many viewers feel seen. Thank you guys!!
This episode made me cry so many times. Thank you all for being so vulnerable and for telling these stories.
This is my favorite episode so far! The raw honesty and relatability is so appreciated from all three of you ladies. ❤️
i really wish i had people in my day-to-day life like you three. i'm 28 and my parents have been trying to get me to change my body since i was literally 10 years old. growing up i was always the fat girl of the group and never felt safe talking about my insecurities and it definitely still affects me to this day. really appreciate y'all for talking about things like this and helping us all feel less alone and validated.
I absolutely love this episode. I remember every bad thing that was said about my body in middle/high school. It really does stick with you.
I relate to Paloma A LOT and I'm so glad she's a part of this podcast 🥰 I too was, and still am at 31, self conscious about my freckles. My husband loves them and I loathe them. And I see people painting them on, filters, etc. And I'm like I was born in the wrong era. 🙃
I was teased at a very young age for my gap and it continued all the way through high school. Now I love it and so does my husband. Just like Paloma said it makes us unique and part of our identity! ❤️❤️❤️
Came back to watch this one a second time just because of how emotional and powerful it is. Especially Riayn’s bit about second puberty at the end-really hit home. I love you guys ❤
Thank you guys for talking about this!! No one talkes about how mean people were in middle school and how it completely changed how you viewed yourself and your self confidence. I'm 26 and still working on somethings. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing!
Riayn, I know exactly what your last story feels like. Out of body experiences are sooo scary but thank you so much for sharing and making me feel less alone. ❤️
Excellent episode! Sharing your stories and struggles help so many others out there who can relate. Thank you for your bravery! 💖💖💖
Thank you so much for this , all three of you are doing absolutely amazing and are so fkn inspirational xx
Love you ladies, thank you for sharing. It makes me sad that we give others so much power over our perception of ourselves. But it makes it a little better knowing I'm not alone.
Loving this earlier posting time for us europeans listening!! 😍❤️
I want y’all to know how important it is that this is talked about. I have had lots of realizations and “break throughs” listening to this podcast. ❤️
Wow these stories hit hard. You women are very strong. This connection/friendship is goals the way you guys encourage and support each other is just inspiring. I love this podcast.
I've never been this early to a podcast! Can't wait to listen ❤️
I’m so happy Paloma & Ryan for sharing about their hips! My sons almost 1 and this past year since birth, I have cried so many times because my hips feel huge to me!!
My favorite trio I love this pod!!!
just noticed the headphones and i love how they coordinate with their colours!! such a nice touch!!
Sierra, on the topic of finding confidence through body positive creators, I want you to know that YOU are that person for me ❤️❤️ thanks for all you do
This podcast is truly magic. Y’all are giving radical vulnerability and it’s badass.
I’m loving this podcast, so real and makes me feel less alone :)
Representation absolutely matters. Before the last 5-10 years, there were no plus size models that look like me- I’m on the larger end of “standard (i dont have a better term for 14-24) plus,” and now I am seeing size 22 and 24 models and beyond, which was completely unheard of when i was yalls age (not that i’m /that/ much older lol).
Oh man I was just listening to this in the background of work but Rian I also have strabismus and I NEVER MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH PEOPLE. Even as an adult. I’m so self conscious. I’ve cried at work. Sucks! I wish I could let it go. And you’re always nervous too that people just think you’re not looking at them. So it’s hard to tell people about it because you don’t even know if they’re thinking of it
Omg so I already commented on this episode LOL, but it was just so good I’m commenting again. You three have something special and I kept finding myself talking out loud as if you guys could hear my replies. Such a relatable episode but so sad that we all have such similar experiences. You are all so special and really inspired me to be the best version of myself.
Live podcast episode one day I hope?!?
Man, this conversation about middle really made me think about all the things that were core memories for me about self-confidence, identity, body positivity, and pretty much all of those are from middle school (and lots are related to middle school boys, too OMG). I think because at that point in my life I was way more vulnerable and sheltered, and middle school very much felt like a shock. High school was loads better but I had definitely put walls up. I very much feel like my adulthood is about working on tearing those walls down again.
I love this episode so much! You all are so incredible and empowering. Riyan I feel you so much, I grew up in a predominantly white neighborhood too and had a very similar experience with the black guys in my high school. The moment I branched out I was dating and living life which Im sure you’re doing as well 💜👑 You all are beautiful
Riayn, you should look into EMDR for reprocessing the middle school incident, it’s help me a lot with past trauma.
I've been doing EMDR with my therapist, I highly recommend
I totally second EMDR - I've loved it for dealing with my birth trauma!
i’ll definitely look into this! thank you :))
This podcast brings me so much comfort. I really do feel like I'm hanging out with my besties 😂
So interesting to hear how so many of our body-image horror stories stem from a middle school boy😭 but it also makes me wonder where they learned it from! Could it be the way they heard their fathers talk about women?
The middle school kids were brutal. And I’m sure they don’t realize how much damage they’re causing others, but it was truly a terrible experience for many of us. I liked this boy so much and he said he couldn’t kiss me because my nose was too big and called me Pinocchio. It stuck with me FOREVER. Lead to eating disorders (something I could control) self hatred and self destruction. Sure enough, I got a nose job in my 20s. I feel free now, but those words changed my life. I really enjoyed this podcast and reading the other comments. We all went through it and didn’t even realize it at the time. Take care everyone 💖
Loving the podcast so much ❤️
This was an amazing episode, ladies! My 30+ year old self could relate so much ❤
im so happy Riayn talked about her insecurity cause i’ve never heard anyone talk about something like that before. i was born with mild paralysis on the left side of my body and i can walk and function like a abled person but, like she said, im always afraid someone is like “hmmm she walks weird” or “her left arm looks kinda funny” and it’s really a learning curve of trying to be okay with something you can’t change about yourself and learning it’s a part of you, but it doesn’t define you
I really love and relate to this episode. Middle school was definitely brutal
riayn is seriously so fucking gorgeous. i’ve always thought that since i first saw her on sierras channel and i really hope she sees this comment to know that she is seriously so beautiful inside and out. absolutely stunning, flawless, amazing
thank you so much… this is so sweet 🥹😭❤️
I felt soooooo seen by this episode oml, from the middle school boys to myfitnesspal thank y'all for sharing your experiences so we can all bond lol
Kids are the worst. I’m down to BSA too!!! Love you @Riayn. You are a Queen!! Gorgeous and my fave! Thank you ladies for sharing!! Love you P and Sierra.
💗💗💗 this episode was amazing x
I can remember something clicking in my head about how I looked. I worked so hard for my body and one day I just looked and questioned why I ever had a problem with it to the point of being unhealthy. It really was like out of body experience. Was so obsessed it’s insane looking back.
Great show. Made me teary.
Needed this video and I'm 34. Love this.
I'm crying so much over this. How do you get so body positive when there is so much hate about myself. I love you guys!!!
I hope i can get there one day...
I think validation is the most helpful thing you can do in most situations. its okay to feel what you're feeling and you're not alone but it is also a hard thing you're going through can be way more helpful than offering advice
Riayn!! I have a similar eye situation to you, I was born with my eyes so crossed that you could only see half of my pupils. I had 3 eye surgeries (2 weeks old, 2 years old and the last one in second grade), and I grew up kind of assuming that I would have one last surgery and they would be totally straight. My left eye is still weaker and always will be, there's no way for it to be perfectly straight all the time and I've come to terms with it but it definitely still gets to me at times. I still find myself turning my head to the left all the time to prevent my left eye from turning in. I'm getting married soon and I'm finding myself worrying that it'll show up in pictures but I know that my loved ones see me that way all the time and don't think anything of it. Thanks so much for talking about it, it's definitely a form of a body image issue. Strabismus gang! Lol
Bringing me back to my high school years, over 20 years ago. I had a close core of friends, but I was the chunky short girl Who wore glasses. it was during high school, sophomore through senior year that I was actually starting to deal with my blinding eye condition. Thankfully, it was not noticeable from the outside, and my clothes core friends knew about it, but never made fun of me for dealing with everything that I had to deal with.
I too have a lazy eye Riyan. And mine has gotten worse. My husband never saw the things that i see as odd with my eyes.
I really relate to the freckles no one liked them when I was younger and I grew to hate my freckles and even now I struggle to love them even though they are considered ‘trendy’ even ‘friends’ as a teenager I was told ‘ugh hate when you can see your freckles through your makeup’
Great episode! Just wanted to throw this out there -- women typically gain weight in their twenties and typically the weight gain is in muscle. I love this -- as you guys were saying - it's like second puberty!
I'm 22 going on 23 and still remember a comment my first love made about my body in 2015 ( I was 15). It still hurts. Watching this video is almost difficult because its bringing up a bunch of my core memories but its comforting to know that I'm not alone in being in my 20s yet still having body image issues based on events that happened so long ago
I love this podcast. 💓
OMG That’s So Raven is so good and so important! Watch it now as an adult, it’s STILL GOOD!! ❤️❤️
Perfect timing!
so happy to hear how they talked about middle school being more brutal than high school. I agree and when I was in middle school many years ago, i worried what high school would bring since the media and movies make high school seem so bad and my middle school experience was horrible but in high school no one cared so I’m so happy to hear the girl agree that middle school is worse ahah 😅
This resonated with me so much being the poorer adn fatter girl at a private rich school. I love all of your representation and resonated with each one of you!!!
Several minutes in and omg Sierra your Uber lmao nooo 😭 I can completely relate. Idk what it is about me but there’s been so many strangers that out of nowhere tell me their full on, whole life story while I’m just trying to walk my dog and I’m just there like “ohhhhh.. yeah… wow… yeah uh well I’m a college student but that’s crazy”
You really don’t know how much you’ve positively effected peoples relationships with themselves! I’ve recently had a baby boy and honestly my body has changed a lot (as expected), but the way I’ve been toward myself about it is SO much kinder than I would have been a few years ago 💕🫶
Riayn! I also have a lazy eye! I’m legally blind in my left eye and my parents didn’t catch it until I was 7. I had to wear an eye patch for two years to strengthen it (didn’t work) and it’s still one of my biggest insecurities. It starts to wander and cross when I’m really tired or my eye has been worked too hard. I feel really seen, and I feel you.
LOVE U GUYS
Appreciate the realness, thank you
Thanks for talking about this, it brought up a whole lot of feels ❤️
I recently was telling my partner and my best friend about how, in year 5 or 6, my “friends” and I were sitting outside during lunch and they were comparing each other’s legs and who has the hairiest legs (who knows why). Well, they decided it was me. My legs weren’t any hairier than theirs, it’s just mine were dark. They all were light skinned and fair haired, while I was dark olive and dark haired. Anyway, that night I asked my mum if I could shave my legs and she said no. I ended up doing it secretly and cutting my legs sooo badly. Thanks to Sierra and that video about not shaving from ages ago, I now LOVE growing out my body hair and find it fun! It’s also fun shaving it off 😁
Nice work ladies! Keep on goin'!
This was a great podcast. Growing up I was always a tall heavier girl and I got picked on constantly. My family love them to death but never knew what to say so I always got you have such a beautiful face if you lost x amount of weight you’d be stunning. Body positivity is so important and words have lasting effect.
My freckles r really prominent in sunny weather. My older brother says “if u stay in the sun enuff, ur freckles will all join together, and then u’ll have a great tan”. I don’t tan much, coz I have fair skin, so generally burn
Saying this prior to the video, but my biggest reason for why I have image issues is my stepdad repeatedly telling me I was fat (which turned into body dysmorphia since I was tiny all the way through high school) or that no one wanted a skinny girl (he was joking and even then I knew that but it hurt). This all started before the age of 4. And then a past partner made comments about certain parts of my body (which i will not name but based off me saying that I think you can guess) and it made me so self conscious, and I still get self conscious of them. Thankfully things in my mind are a lot easier to handle now, but it took me so long to get where I am.
I needed this. Thank you for sharing! ❤️
Oh. My. Gosh. Ladies, your stories hit so close to home. But not only is it good for teens to hear these stories, it's so good for parents to know this stuff too tbh.
It sounds like you gals had horrible times in middle school, so I hope most of you had way better times in high school!
Unfortunately I was in a smaller Christian School 6th- 11 grades. Most of bullying from boys and girls. Got no body positivity from anyone growing up (till my best friend in 10th grade, i was lucky) .
Was too big to ever fit in any cute clothes back then they didnt have any plus girls stuff. my mom wouldn't let me dress myself and we didn't have really any money. I got a job at 16 but when I finally was able to afford the clothes I wanted, I had to wear men's clothes (this was in 1990s so abercrombie, zumiez, gap, tommy etc). Because i couldnt fit into the girls. I always wanted to be a singer but no one in the church or school ever wanted me because I was too fat. I had a wonderful voice they always said. I always heard the "but". I wanted to write songs but they laughed. Made fun of during choir practice it was just horrible.
The crap thing is though is my mom and the principal of my school told me that I would just have to suck it up and I had to get thick skin and stick up for myself. But the HOW to stand up for myself.
Luckily around 10th grade I had a best friend and she finally helped me stand up for myself. But by that time the damage had been done, i had been bullied every single day (even sundays at church) from 6th grade until end of 10th. First guy interested in me, I was almost 19. It sucks but I'm still picking up the pieces back together still. 39.
Sierra: About the girls that didn't say anything regarding bullying; If they're your best friend and they don't stick up for you, I can totally see that being horrible. But, looking back I had girls that I thought were my friends (they weren't really, but they also didn't bully me). But I never got upset at them because they didn't stand up for me. I was too busy being happy that they would let me play card games with them at lunch and weren't outright bullys.
I am so so soooooo happy that you guys decided to do a podcast on this! Maybe it could be a section of your podcast or something that you talk about you know once a month or something like that? Even if it's something as small as just a body positive affirmation.
as Mexican I relate so much with the arm hair😭😭 it's something I still struggle ngl, specially bc the standard here in Mexico . However I used to feel the same with my brows (very Frida Khalo like) but now I LOVE them
Great show Real Real
in middle school i saw guys making fun of girls so i became the girl that hung out with guys and i did everything to please them and be like them bc i knew i couldn’t handle the scrutiny
Middle school boy here, too! I remember a boy calling me a hippo in 7th grade social studies and how long that messed me up for. I was perfectly average then, but that comment had me looking in the mirror with such disgust.
Ps. Losing six and a half stone did not bring me happiness I became a nervous wreck like you said Sierra. Losing weight being thin does not bring automatic happiness or contentment. Being at peace comes from self acceptance and self care and completely ignoring what society expects you to conform to. Medical peop please note also fat is not always lazy and sometimes underlying issues ignored because people are dismissed as they are verweight.
body image focus starts soooo young too. I have a video of me when I was 7-8 basically telling my relatives my "stats" lol. I was so proud to tell them that I was so and so height and so and so weight, and my aunt chimes in to basically shame me and say I should be dieting. Essentially, it wasn't something to be proud of to be "growing". Which is... what the eff lol.