A guy in one of my social circles does this. I shut him down multiple times, and he is almost 20 years older than me while I am a college student living at home!!! Ick to the nth degree. He was such a nice guy saying bc he is the only one giving me special attention, that I should reciprocate to his liking……🤮 Then I tell my dad about it, and he AGREES WITH HIM. I learned the hard way my dad does the same thing🤦♀️
my favorite example of negging ive experienced is the guy in a bar who said "most men wouldnt pick you over (my smaller friend), but i love curvy girls" I said "do you think youre some kind of martyr because you like big women?" but he didnt know what the word martyr meant LOL
@@RealElongatedMuskrat omg its funny that you say this bc he was a friend of a friend and they all came back to my apartment later that night. My shower curtain had fallen while i was out (it used to do that like every 2 days), and he was like CAN I HANG IT FOR YOU?!?! so i let him. next morning i looked and he had hung it like 6 inches too high. so there was a 6 inch gap between the top of the tub and the start of the curtain. i laughed so hard i coudlnt breathe. men are HELPLESS
A guy who was hitting on me the entire night said “you know I actually think your friend is prettier than you”… I gave him a death stare…”that’s funny I never compared you to any of your friends” and immediately started ignoring him. NEGGING DOES NOT WORK ON ME. I’d rather have a man propose to me the first time I meet him than neg me lol
I got a story ab a guy I just stopped talking to recently, don’t mind if I rant for a bit cuz it pisses me off and I’m learning from my mistakes: So it’s a guy I met at work he was a customer and he came in 3 days in a row and I was the only one who worked all those days and I helped him out all 3 days too. I agree with everything that was said in this podcast episode lol with the Madonna-Whore Complex and how us women just want guys to give us attention and treat us nicely. Also that men want to feel superior, funnier, smarter, and more of the dominant ones BECAUSE: I was pretty much the one that initiated I would’ve asked myself but I made my friend ask for his number for me because I was super busy with my job but I don’t like missing opportunities, and it’s funny cuz he made it a thing instead of just rejecting/accepting me wanting his number he went out of his way to look for me to ask FOR MINE even though I’m literally ab to get it. He kinda failed cuz my work is a pretty big place and I truly was busy hosting a party. It’s definitely not one of those “oh I was gonna ask for urs too;)” types of situations it was just him not coping with the fact that he was being asked and not him initiating. I was the one that told him we should go on a date when we texted. And on that date we had a little “light hearted” argument ab who asked who on the date. He kept telling me that he asked me out, and I told him that I was actually the one who asked him out cuz why tf do u need to make it a point it’s not a big deal. I felt so uncomfortable with him pushing this lie just to make himself feel better so I just ended that argument lol cuz I really didn’t give a fuck. And at the end of the day I tried to pay half the bill and he was like “oh no I can’t allow that” which I was mixed ab cuz it could be cute and generous OR it’s just sexist lol All else was well though we went on a second date too. In terms of texting and irl conversations, I was normally the one who initiated topics, I made him laugh and I brought up deeper and intellectual topics of discussion. And he definitely didn’t like that either. He would say I was weird. He ended up ghosting me and I think it was because of that, I was getting too “unsexual” and “not just an object of sex” for him and the fact that I one upped him in every way🤘🏽 Normally idgaf who’s more dominant in conversation or initiating hanging out or one upping who but I kinda get an ego boost when it makes weak and misogynistic men like this shrivel up😂 I was also flirty btw imo I think I have a pretty good balance of seductive and great conversationalist lol and he just couldn’t process it along with other men I’ve talked to ngl I also think he is deep in the ass of capitalism like those grind-set men they talked ab in the podcast because 1. he’s a white rich privileged man and shows it off. I’m definitely the opposite of that and 2. he didn’t seem to like it when I brought up how civil design differentiates from rich communities to poorer ones. Like if u travel just 5 miles north from my house where he lives past the mountains that divide us u will see cute little suburban white picket fence homes and where I live there’s like 3 families renting a single house and my walls are falling apart😂… but fr. I talked ab noise and air pollution in poorer neighborhoods and how freeways were designed to pass over the communities with people of color just to connect white neighborhoods together {I won’t rant ab that any further} but he clearly felt uncomfortable😂 and on our second date he asked me if I would help invest in his real estate business he wants to start like buying houses and renting them. Which I’m completely against idk why tf people need to own property and fuck everyone else over BUT at the time I was blinded by the attention he was giving me so I was like “well… I’ll give u my favorite penny that I found under my bed the other day” as a joke but fr though that’s weird to bring up on a second date. Just another one of those grind-set minions who are already rich and privileged but want to hoard more money for themselves and away from flowing into the hands of people who work their asses off everyday while also being a first generation college graduate in the making and get paid minimum wage👆🏽 {me} while he doesn’t go to school or get to do any dirty work. When I told him I wanted to go into Mechanical Engineering at some point but I refused to slave away at school for years and years without a social life or mental health while being in sm debt and that I’d rather struggle financially and be happy he definitely was uncomfortable lol😂 MAN how I love shocking people My guy was negative and judgmental ab everything. When I told him that I love listening to Bad Bunny, Nirvana, Pink Floyd and $uicideBoy$ {just some artists I genuinely enjoy} he would always find something bad to say ab them. {all these artists were in 3 separate moments btw} He was like “umm but Bad Bunny is just Bad” definitely no pun intended he didn’t really joke around like that lol or “I can never get into Nirvana and I don’t like Kurt Cobain”. And me being a fucking rug to romance I was like “HEY, we all got our different opinions in music🥰” even though he’s lame for all that. BITCH I GOT EXQUISITE TASTE IN MUSIC that reaching far beyond what he’s into. He just listens to classical rock which I love too it’s so badass normally but he was one of those guitar playing douches that say “I only listen to real music”. I love guitarists and I also play bass and acoustic but I feel like we all know one of those guys😂 Even his walk says a lot, he walks so stereotypically masculine like his shoulders push back chest wide open arms swinging like a fucking grandfather clock and he wears sunglasses😭 I saw this as a red flag even before I stopped being blinded by the attention he was giving me. Like just fucking walk normal. I don’t wanna judge people who walk different😂🫶🏽 but fr dude it looked so fake. He was pretty lack luster looking back at it objectively and the fact that he’s the one that ghosted me and not the other way around proves I’m one of those women that set the bar low for men because of my shitty experiences in the past and just because he’s slightly better than my ex makes me fall in love and forget his flaws meanwhile he’s just tryna twist this relationship to fit his idea of what dating a girl should be like. It’s bad lol
@@zm4362 DAMN GIRL??? HE SOUNDS ANNOYING AS FUCK. SUCH A RED FLAG HOW HE KEPT GOING ON AND ON ABOUT WHO ASKED WHO OUT FIRST LIKE OKAY MR MASCULINITY ISSUES… FORGET AB HIM AND JUST KEEP GIRLBOSSING UR WAY THROUGH LIFE U GOT THIS
@@zm4362 pls use random health insurance quote sites and put his info (make up what you don’t know) in, the important piece is his phone number. my dude will be spammed with insurance agents trying to get him to sign with them for weeks to months. ☺️
As a gymnast, in highschool I was motivated by pure rage and spite to beat every guy in my gym class at the fitness tests. Everyone shits on that test but I went so hard because I was tired of men just ASSUMING they were stronger than me because I was a woman. One year I purposely went last for the pushup test and asked what the highest number was and the teacher said 34, and then I did 55. Even set the plank hold record in my school (11 minutes and 30 seconds) because one guy who went down before me was telling the other guy remaining to keep going because he couldn't be beat by a girl. Pure feminine rage in that moment.
I am dancing in college and the comments do not stop, even from adults. And I also play a lot of traditional team sports men play, and dance has always helped me in those other sports. Most of these guys cant touch their toes without yelping, or have done more than 10 crunches in their lives! We need better gym units about gymnastics and dance bc I was upset when all I got in primary school was *square dancing* thx Henry Ford….
My lazy ass could never be able to do something like that even if I was having to deal with misogynist pieces of shit. Deadass, people like you are pretty cool and inspiring to me, especially when it comes to fitness.
as a teenage girl its so comforting seeing women older than me make fun of men like this and grow out of centering them in their lives- gives me sm hope for my future
It takes practice learning how to stand up for yourself and break out of the “as a women you should always be polite” ideal. It was really hard for me to learn how to tell a guy to back off because I felt bad, but as a grow it’s become easier and easier the more I practice
It is also when you are old yourself :) Love watching men talking about that too. Philion is very good. It's like therapy ! There are many other types of men and mindset, hopefully ;)
The pickup community is such a hilarious concept in its self, a bunch of men talking to each other about how unappealing they are and pooling strategies about how to trick women into thinking they’re interesting
My sisters old housemate was an absolute creep. Would not talk to us, but had a book on how to get women. If he heard us laughing at him, he would have hated women even more. Fucking knob haha
Very telling that they only practice this on intoxicated women 💀 they go after the airhead college freshmen girls (no offense to y’all, you’re just young you’ll see what I mean later) while they’re ALSO drunk it’s so predatory and it doesn’t work lmao.
No exactly, there was one pick up artist that said: "For this to work the best, there should be a form of lubrication, like alcohol. It'll make the girl be more open to your advances." Like WHATTTTTTTT?? If you're "game" is so good, it should work without the victim of it having to be intoxicated ☠️ It's a little funny but very, very scary.
Same , I only read gay/lesbian fanfiction. I didnt know straight fanfiction existed, I thought the straights where happy with their straight media which is everything 😆
@@known_film4081 hahaha literally! I was like I didn’t know there were any straights for you guys to seek out? I knew there were Reylo fics but I assumed bc we all thought they were cousins that was on there for incest shipping straights who are a category to themselves
“If women were more willing to kill people” sarahhhhh 😭😭😭😭 Edit: i really enjoy hearing sarah and brittany talk about this kind of stuff because it really opens my eyes im a young woman and im still learning what it means to BE a woman and my worth and you two have really helped me.
When she said that, I was literally like, yep that's where they got us by the tati melons. It's true that if they tried this shit on men they would all literally start going berserk. Obviously, nobody should be violent at all. But that doesn't make what she said any less true. I just wish we could go to a different timeline because this one is so sad. I wish everyone were happy and could have peace. :/
When they mentioned people not thinking gymnastics is a sport, I remembered yesterday that my boyfriend was stretching his legs so we started talking about it. He told me that I “don’t know how to stretch” because he was in “like real sports, tough sports”. It was one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever heard. For instance I was in dance, gymnastics, soccer, swim, tennis, etc and used to stretch for an hour straight every morning. Like, fuuuuuck youuu my guy! Do you even realize how hard you have to stretch in ballet and gymnastics? My god.
so true! i had so many boys tell me that dance wasn’t a sport or that it was easy when i was dancing 9 hours a week in middle school. it’s not even just physically demanding but takes a mental toll too.
Somebody mentioned that "enemies to lovers" is such a popular trope for women because it entails that they are, at any point in time during the narration, taken very seriously by the other party, whether out of spite or out of love, which is - unfortunately - very aspirational in many current dating environments
A lot of men view you as a sexual object before they ever view you as a friend/colleague/equal. Dear misogynists, does being stupid ever get exhausting?
My partner of 6 years now made it a firm prerequisite that we continue building a friendship before dating, even after we had both expressed interest in one another. And now he's my best friend and fiance. I can't imagine the mindset of men that don't go into relationships looking for an actual relationship with an equal.
Brittany had a passive genius comment being that men are the “common denominator” in their interactions with women. MEN NEED TO REALIZE THIS. it’s not the women, it’s YOU!!
@@rosar.4293 i know men in my personal life that say women have always done them dirty, or broken up with them over similar or the same things. then they always default to blaming all women, instead of looking inward. maybe women aren’t the problem, but they are doing something wrong. men never want to take accountability or admit that they’re the reason their relationships fail.
@@guwuega8010exactly! Like whenever a guy says that all his ex girlfriends were crazy and that women never appreciate him- how he's never done anything wrong and these women are just ungrateful or bitchy.. you know that he's a complete shithead!
As a woman, yeah it’s soooo easy to just walk up to a guy in a bar, I literally made eye contact with a boy I didn’t know and did the “come sit” slap on my knee, came right over and sat in my lap, talked with me the rest of the night. Simple creatures
Being a gay man is about the same tbh; you kinda just look in someone's direction and ask for their Snapchat and that's that on that. Common denominator is men 💀
24:16 it absolutely should be - we had a whole thing this year in the UK of our government basically saying "we can't make misogyny a hate crime bc it would overload the judicial system". They know exactly how much of a problem it is, they just can't be arsed to do anything about it.
Re: negging men. One time this dude wouldn’t leave my friend alone at the bar, so I just kept asking him his name and then purposely calling him the wrong name.
When you guys talked about woman playing the “ugly woman” in television it actually reminded me, in Home Alone the picture of Buzz’s girlfriend that Kevin was like eww gross at was actually Buzz’s actor in a wig so they didn’t have to cast a young girl and ruin her self esteem.
was the pic even that bad?? even if it was buzz' actor in a wig, like, i haven't seen it in a while, but i've a vague memory of thinking it just looked like an irl pic of a kid (vs like a portfolio pic of a child actor/model) and being confused by kevin's reaction lol
@@littlefoxglove276 yeah sure it’s not that bad but the way Kevin reacted was the bad part! If they cast a young girl to take a goofy picture only to be the ugly comic relief it wouldn’t have been very responsible.
@@jaylee5536 oh fr!! i'm pretty sure plenty of girls still got the "looks like buzz' gf" comparison or "WOOF" thrown at them the year that film came out, but y'kno. no possible way they could've put out a movie w/o at least one Ugly Chicks gag 🙄
idk if y’all look at these comments but i’d really want to see an episode on how tiktok creates a safe space for misogynistic men/boys. especially through influencers like andrew tate. they label misogyny as “logic” or “facts”
BUT SERIOUSLY listen, I don't even have tiktok, I have NEVER used tiktok (I found Sarah and Brittany through Trixie and Katya), and I've even noticed this. As someone who doesn't and has nerve used the app, I've noticed in online discourse around this issue and the reuploading of tiktoks on other platforms this bizarre section of guys just so blatant about it.
@@DeezN00tz99 it’s Super indoctrinating, i had some of his fans literally try to get me to join them and convince me that men are just scientifically better so they get to “own” a woman
@@Sam_Lite and then cries and whines whenever a woman tries to argue with whatever dumbass take he has. it makes no sense as to why people look over some mentally underdeveloped little man.
regarding the violence against women part, in other countries (for example Argentina where I'm from) these crimes are considered aggravated because of their chauvinistic nature. More so, murdering a woman it's considered "femicide/feminicide" so it's recognized that it wasn't just murder but it was done on the basis of gender
Argentinian here! The saddest thing about that is the fact that most of the times those offenders are out within hours after they been caught and a lot of the victims live in fear. Yes, we have names for those specific types of crimes but there's no actual justice.
@@vf199X ah si obvio, la onda iba más por el lado de decir que legalmente no es raro que se reconozca, ya que se sostenga es otra cosa.. falta MUCHÍSIMO para que nuestra justicia nos cuide 😕
And in my country domestic violence is legal so you can legally beat your wife and no one will do anything to you because you married her. I will never get married here because marriage is just a permission from government to abuse. Edit: pardon me, I will never get married anywhere, f*ck this sh!t
I remember watching this video by either jubilee or cut but it was about straight men kissing each other. It was very interesting because i noticed, men tend to respect other men’s boundaries SOOO much more than they would with a woman. Like being nervous about being “too gay” is more important to men. Like the guys in the video were asking each other if they could put their hands on his waist etc etc. Obviously the men in the vid specifically are probably normal ppl but. I do think there’s a general sense of physical respect straight men carry for other men that they simply do not carry for women/ anyone born w a uterus.
What you said about it being easy to get women to like you.... So I was at one point a very shy, nervous bisexual woman. I still am, but anyway. I was dating a woman, casually. And she shared her favorite song with me. It turned out to be a really good song to play on ukelele, which I play. So, more so because it was fun to play, and less to woo her, I learned how to play and sing her favorite song... and accidentally wooed her. At which point I wasn't feeling it and let her down. So it really is as simple as expressing genuine interest in what they care about. But don't be like me, and accidentally string a really nice person along because you like playing complex songs on ukelele...
or even outside of the USA, here in Mexico, the spanish equivalent of bitch is now a "slur" in certain terf communities and it is indeed being used to rationalize their transphobia and homophobia as a "LOOK THEY USE BITCH BECAUSE THEY DONT CARE ABOUT WOMEN AND THEY WILL NEVER BE ONE" lol
honestly idk if i’m just sensitive but i’ve never been cool with my male friends referring to other women as chicks or bitches. i definitely wouldn’t say it’s a slur but it does make me feel like they’re kinda gross for saying it. also the whole “you get no bitches” insult is so childish to me, like in the context that it’s used is usually when men are misogynistic on the internet or some shit, then someone responds saying like “just say that you don’t get bitches” idk i know it’s mostly a joke but it feels wrong to me to be saying that to dudes, kinda reinforcing their grubby little minds.
This whole pickup artist episode reminds me of when I worked at my last restaurant job. New guy everyone thought was so cool- a few months later someone found out he used to be part of an infamous ‘pickup’ ring in California and was a REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER!! So gross and scary!
Dude restaurant jobs attract weird guys like that. When I was working at a restaurant we also had “the cool guy” who everyone loved, seemed totally normal. He started dating a very young hostess we worked with (red flag already) and turns out he was really violent, and abusive. His personality during work was completely faked. Of course once the rest of the staff found out he never showed his face in the restaurant again out of fear we would jump him (to be fair, we would have) but yeah. I do not trust overly charismatic people.
The levels to this pick up line though 😂 using a backhanded compliment in the most innocent wrong way possible just to prove a point. I fucking love it
I'm so glad you guys talked about the 'females' thing. I hate it so much, especially when men call other men just 'men' but call women 'females' like ... double standard, ick. Plus, as a trans person, the connotation of female also indicates a lot of things about the way someone might treat me when/if they find out I'm trans. It's so gross dude, immediate red flag.
23:33 - This was the most profound and intelligent thing I’ve heard all year. Though hate crimes are still such a grey area in terms of having justice served, the fact that serial misogyny/dv/sa isn’t viewed in the public eye as a hate crime, and instead as personal disputes or a violent perpetrator goes to show that the idea of “keep it in the home” or marital discipline is still alive and well. It’s super dark and depressing, but Sarah’s commentary on it was so brilliant.
I listen to the podcast while I’m at my corporate job. I hate my work so much, but just having some company from divas who get it actually makes my day suck way less. Thank you so much
As much as this podcast is goofs and gafs, Sarah brought up such a great point. Why are men who exclusively beat up women or abuse women IS a hate crime I think! Really getting the gears going this morning hahah
The other thing about the “until I had a daughter” comment, is that I can’t help but wonder if he had a wife. No empathy/understanding for the woman you married, but it makes sense when you feel responsible for “guarding” your daughter’s virginity? It really does show that men are aware of the danger that other men pose to women, and it simply doesn’t bother them.
My dad said if a guy ever did something bad to me, to tell him. First time something happened I did tell him, but he saw nothing wrong…..then I learned my relationship with my dad had to change. My first boyfriend played a lot of mind games and gaslit me a lot, especially about my college education, and my dad saw nothing wrong with it. So it clicked. Even with my dad having daughters, nothing has changed. Then it makes me uncomfortable thinking about when my parents were together, thats its own can of worms.
This podcast is very important to young girls entering their womanhood who need to hear something like this from a figure that inspires them. Great job ladies!
Yesterday I came across an incel forum and went down a dark rabbit hole of reading their posts, it was absolutely horrifying and honestly made me sick. They genuinely don't consider women human, it terrifies me that there's men like that out there. But at the same time its almost fascinating from a psychological standpoint
in high school i had to deal with a guy who was one of these weird incel men for several years. we used to be really close friends until he started trying to ask me out constantly and i had to keep turning him down, and eventually we just kind of broke apart, but it didn't even end there. it turned into this abusive bullying situation where he'd constantly threaten me (he'd threaten to hurt me physically and sexually), lie about me to his friends, make fun of me for my appearance (even though he found me attractive), etc. my school never did anything about it because "boys will be boys!" and both of my parents had to threaten the school with legal action if nothing was done about it. and even after being threatened the school still did the bare minimum, he never got punished for anything. this particular thing has altered my life so much, it has given me trauma and even caused me to never go outside again because i was so terrified of running into him. and even after being out of school for 2 years now, its still a lingering fear in the back of my mind that i'll somehow run into him. although i am doing much better now and have been with a wonderful and incredibly respectful guy for almost 6 years now (he literally saved me from this incel several times). i wanna thank you guys for talking about this topic and just absolutely ripping it to shreds. its comforting hearing people actually talk about this, since i have been through a kind of "mini version" of it myself. love you guys
It is awful how schools do nothing about it, then I get all the punishments under the sun for *wearing a tank top in August.* And we wonder why we see men being creepy to women, but not the other way around. Stop giving boys and men passes whilst policing my 12 year old body!
Hey guys. Is internet addiction making you apparently roll with laughter? Or maybe the speed with which your hand can move? Ask your dr if lobotomy is right for you.
Something I want to point out is that sometimes wlw are guilty of these misogynistic instincts because of our own internalized misogyny. Just something I think more of us should be aware of & be actively trying to combat.
My senior year of college my roommate would watch pickup artist videos…..WITHOUT HEADPHONES all the time. And my GOD they were awful. It was 100% fully transparent about the fact that they were trying to get women to sleep with them and NOTHING else. They had lessons that were nothing but contingency plans for if girls caught feelings, how to string a girl along for as long as possible while getting the most sex out of her, etc. It was awful. I didn’t hardly ever talk to him because of that, it was just SO creepy and weird. Not to mention the fact that I ALWAYS wore headphones when I watched my stuff but he rarely did. If I needed any further confirmation that I was gay, that really did it. The straights are NOT ok….
Negging stopped working on me when I stopped giving a shit what men say (and that's on comp het). If a man said to me, "It's great that you're not self-conscious about your stretch marks." I just stare at them unchanging and say, "Why would I be?" Keep going and they'd probably get, "It's great that you're not self-conscious about your height/hairline." Be mean. I be mean back.
if i has a nickel for everytime brittany and sarah mentioned rumple stiltskin oh this postcast i would have two nickels which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice right?
BRITTANY I SAW YOU AT THE LONDON AIRPORT A FEW DAYS AGO!!!! I was really busy with a suitcase that popped open and I saw you as you were passing me and I wasn’t 100% sure it was you, but when I saw you were in London I knew I was right! Biggest regret of my life not saying hi to you! I hope you are having a wonderful time in the UK!!! Love you girl 💕💕💕
you both have the uncanny ability to be informative, funny, and also extremely down to earth. I love that you can discuss topics and learn from each other.
u guys should read “men that hate women” by laura bates cos it covers the topic of pick up artists and other groups of extremely misogynistic men. it’s a really heavy book but it is a great read and super informative! love u guys!!
I've got it tagged on Libby to read later, thanks! There's another great book I've read called "Why Does He Do That" by Lundy Bancroft, slightly different topic but still very applicable and very informative
Negging for men: -it's so cool you still choose to grow out your facial hair even though it's patchy! -you're not too ugly for a short guy! -that shirt looks great on you, where'd you find a store that carries stuff for your body type? -I think it's great that you choose to wear flip flops even though you haven't shaved your toes! -you drive pretty decent for a truck owner! -for a smaller guy, you do a good job of keeping up with the others! -wow, you're so confident for someone of your size/shape/profession! -I'm surprised you felt so confident coming up to me looking like that/wearing that!
@@oscarkamala Ik😭 I just stood there like “oh… nice..” but in my head I was like if this is what his dad is like, what is he going to be like😳 and yea he was pretty much the same as his dad
Sarah, you’re up to something. I specialize in Human Rights, specially woman’s rights in Latin American. We have A HUGE problem with violence against women, yes. However, we are lightyears ahead when it comes to awareness. The States doesn’t even categorize murders commited against women FOR LITERALLY being women as feminicides. For such a violent country, there isn’t in Law, a significant interest in categorizing gender based violence.
I remember a post on reddit where this guy was annoyed that women kept wanting to sleep with him on the first date. He spoke about women like they were a game and he legit used the word *cheap* to describe a woman who would sleep with him early on. He tried to say he had no problem with women who like to do that, but then contradicted himself a lot. It was so gross. Also his first dates with these women were for drinks at bars, not like, coffee in the middle of the day. So he was setting himself up for a romantic atmosphere with lowered inhibitions and then mad about how it *felt* like these women were willing to sleep with him already.
The thing is, even guys are grossed out by pick up artists. I've explained some situations to my guy friends and the consensus is always "wtf" or "you should've called the police". They really be their own breed I swear.
a new variation of "you're really funny for a woman" is "you're actually really funny." it makes men feel better about themselves because they've tricked themselves into thinking it's not a misogynistic thing to say.
Omg fun fact the Australian Prime Minister said the exact same thing about his wife and daughters! 9:00 he simply didn't not clock a woman's issue until his wife told him about it/ framed it as "What if it happened to our daughters?"
23:00 HEAVY on this. read "men who hate women" by laura bates, she talks all about how incels and men will beat and shoot women for the often explicit reason that they just are women, and yet there is no legal classification for sex-based hate crimes or terrorism. huge huge issue because if we don't acknowledge the cause of this violence (misogyny), we can't even begin to address or solve it.
22:59 honestly THANK YOU for this whole segment. This idea has been buzzing around in my head for a while and it’s awesome to hear you guys articulate it so well. The fact that violence and discriminatory attitudes against women are so normalized that we as a society tend to not call out some men’s brutal misogyny as what it is until they victimize untold numbers of women is kind of staggering. The shit that these pick up artist types make plants the seeds that grow into more Elliot Rodgers and that fucking matters. The things they say are very reflective of how they view women and where they’d like us to be in relation to them and we need to believe them when they say it and shut that shit down before more people die, and it needs to be just as hard as is done for other marginalized groups. Pointing out the misogynistic tendencies of these men after the fact is ineffective and it just gives their actions more power. People will attribute the murder of a dozen women to how “crazy” the guy who killed them was, when there’s almost always a clear progression of repeated misogynistic, sometimes criminally so, behavior throughout the man’s life that wasn’t taken as seriously and addressed by the people around him before he murdered those dozen women. At some point we need to look at who isn’t taking these incidents seriously and why. We need to start naming these serial abusers what they actually are in a lot of cases: small ass misogynists committing hate crimes against women in a system that allows them to do it. That’s why this problem is so huge and widespread. Women die all the time because of men with fragile egos and deep rooted senses of superiority. We as a society need to start reckoning with the question of why a woman’s pain is seen as more acceptable when it comes at the hands of a man, so much so that it isn’t considered hate enough for a hate crime. tldr hold men accountable for their misogyny please for the love of god!!!!!!!
The breakthrough I had with my mother about respecting trans people was started by putting her in a friend's shoes, she was using her deadname because she "knew her when she was [name here]" and thought it was okay, but I framed it by asking her how she would feel if someone repeatedly used the wrong name against her and refused to correct themselves no matter how many times they purposely misnamed her. It was like a window shattering and she finally got it, and even apologized to my friend about it. They get along great now!
Sarah !! Kristen Stewart already said on Elle Magazine "Men cannot say b*tch anymore" back in 2017 and I personally stopped ever since cause you both are right, it IS A SLUR !!!
at 23 minutes. some people in Canada are trying to get the word "femicide" put in the criminal code. so it will be easier to track crime against women.
Sarah, I have ALWAYS felt that way about the word bitch and how "okay" it is to discriminate SO BLATANTLY against women, hearing you make the same exact argument I always do is so incredibly validating and please never stop being you
I think the worst thing is when you do your best to get someone to put themselves in your shoes, they act like they are going along with it and then when you ask them if they understand the other side, they say "....well I don't know about that"
47:25 the comment about gymnastics and cheerleading not being ‘real sports’ reminds me so much of people (men) telling me in high school that netball is not a real sport because they compared it to basketball which is a different sport altogether (obviously). Just because netball is mostly played by women it’s not considered a real sport when it is by far a very physically demanding sport always baffled me 🤦🏻♀️
This brought out a buried memory! In high school, my first ever serious bf bought a book about "the art of pick-up" and tried to tell me it wasn't about picking up or manipulating women, but it was all about having confidence and feeling like you can talk to people. 🙃 Looking back I wish I had run away faster lmaoo
If a man said he liked my nails then asked if they were real it wouldn’t lower my confidence it would just make me think that he’s stupid. Why don’t men get this
I mean yea, but honestly it can really mess with your head: "Is this your real hair or extensions/a wig?" for example, or "Are your lashes this long or is it *just* MakeUp?" can feel very intrusive, because it is someone trying to prove to you that they can "pick you apart", like they acknowledge something looks good on you - but then try to almost investigate to knock you down as in "Oh, if it is not natural anyone can do/achieve it". Those people cant just be happy for you. They also love to do it in front of other people to put you on the spot or even touch you. They sort of pull a gun to your chest, if its real you have to prove it, if it is fake you either have to admit it or lie, which can be followed up by touching for example or outright saying they dont believe you (the true intention comes out). This can get so awkward, like imagine pressuring someone who lost their hair to cancer or something.
@@m00nrac00n Yes, that's exactly why I have to think this way, because if I didn't it could mess w my confidence. It's better to just disregard the comment altogether. Also a lot of men really aren't able to tell and genuinely don't know if someone is wearing makeup or not etc. so that just goes to show how the whole "I like girls natural" thing is so stupid bc most of the time they can't even tell.
"Where are the band kids?" here brit. I'm here. I haven't touched one of the instruments I played in high school since I stopped doing jazz band in college, but I still consider all low brass players red flags
@@peddlingfalsehoods6321 the 18 year old trumpet player who dated the 13 year old flautist who got caught fucking in the band closet apirljbajergawefawefawefawfwae HGANEGHAB he had the worst farmer's tan tho
I have NEVER encountered one of these pickup artists in the wild and I pray I never do. Probably bc everyone mistakes me for a guy in a dark bar. Also, imagining a world where pickup artists just describes people who are good at literally picking up things. Like who can pick up a sack of flour better?
I had that thing happen to me with my ex where he discarded me and “used me as practice” for a “woman with value”, and the worst part is I had no idea the entire fucking relationship. I thought it was real. It fucked me up so bad I haven’t been able to date since…not because I want him back, but because I feel like I can’t trust how anyone feels about me.
I had a similar thing happen. Have not dated anyone since, about to transfer colleges so mybe a new group of people could help me warm back up to being open to dating, but he really messed me up on a mental level. Nothing bad was ever physical, but what he said to me really changed me…hard to read ppl and trust them in romantic relationships, so I have been leaning on friends for a few years and thank goodness I have a core of good friendships.
"As a christian you can't just like... cosplay empathy?" BRITTANY THAT COMMENT TOOK ME OUT
I CAME HERE TO COMMENT THIS LMFAOOOOO
was about to comment this exact thing hahahaha
Me too. Me too
COSPLAY 💀
Isn't that what christianity is, though?
“When men expect to be rewarded for treating you kindly they are leveraging the abuse perpetrated by other men to make you feel grateful.”
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
WOAH
What a quote holy sht
This direly needs more attention
A guy in one of my social circles does this. I shut him down multiple times, and he is almost 20 years older than me while I am a college student living at home!!! Ick to the nth degree. He was such a nice guy saying bc he is the only one giving me special attention, that I should reciprocate to his liking……🤮
Then I tell my dad about it, and he AGREES WITH HIM. I learned the hard way my dad does the same thing🤦♀️
my favorite example of negging ive experienced is the guy in a bar who said "most men wouldnt pick you over (my smaller friend), but i love curvy girls" I said "do you think youre some kind of martyr because you like big women?" but he didnt know what the word martyr meant LOL
His 3 brain cells were spiralling the drain holy shit.
such a red flag, it means he's not a pierce the veil enjoyer
@@RealElongatedMuskrat omg its funny that you say this bc he was a friend of a friend and they all came back to my apartment later that night. My shower curtain had fallen while i was out (it used to do that like every 2 days), and he was like CAN I HANG IT FOR YOU?!?! so i let him. next morning i looked and he had hung it like 6 inches too high. so there was a 6 inch gap between the top of the tub and the start of the curtain. i laughed so hard i coudlnt breathe. men are HELPLESS
@@storiesinthedust LOL its like he was trying to prank you except he was actually trying
A guy who was hitting on me the entire night said “you know I actually think your friend is prettier than you”… I gave him a death stare…”that’s funny I never compared you to any of your friends” and immediately started ignoring him. NEGGING DOES NOT WORK ON ME. I’d rather have a man propose to me the first time I meet him than neg me lol
"You believe in an all-powerful God, but not women?"
"It would be so fun to be an incel for a day"
The duality -
LMAOO
"cosplay empathy" is a phrase with such power
sarah's description of all pick up artists looking like criss angel if his parents were siblings WAS SO ON THE MONEY
MIND FREAK
I got a story ab a guy I just stopped talking to recently, don’t mind if I rant for a bit cuz it pisses me off and I’m learning from my mistakes:
So it’s a guy I met at work he was a customer and he came in 3 days in a row and I was the only one who worked all those days and I helped him out all 3 days too. I agree with everything that was said in this podcast episode lol with the Madonna-Whore Complex and how us women just want guys to give us attention and treat us nicely. Also that men want to feel superior, funnier, smarter, and more of the dominant ones BECAUSE:
I was pretty much the one that initiated I would’ve asked myself but I made my friend ask for his number for me because I was super busy with my job but I don’t like missing opportunities, and it’s funny cuz he made it a thing instead of just rejecting/accepting me wanting his number he went out of his way to look for me to ask FOR MINE even though I’m literally ab to get it. He kinda failed cuz my work is a pretty big place and I truly was busy hosting a party. It’s definitely not one of those “oh I was gonna ask for urs too;)” types of situations it was just him not coping with the fact that he was being asked and not him initiating. I was the one that told him we should go on a date when we texted. And on that date we had a little “light hearted” argument ab who asked who on the date. He kept telling me that he asked me out, and I told him that I was actually the one who asked him out cuz why tf do u need to make it a point it’s not a big deal. I felt so uncomfortable with him pushing this lie just to make himself feel better so I just ended that argument lol cuz I really didn’t give a fuck. And at the end of the day I tried to pay half the bill and he was like “oh no I can’t allow that” which I was mixed ab cuz it could be cute and generous OR it’s just sexist lol
All else was well though we went on a second date too. In terms of texting and irl conversations, I was normally the one who initiated topics, I made him laugh and I brought up deeper and intellectual topics of discussion. And he definitely didn’t like that either. He would say I was weird. He ended up ghosting me and I think it was because of that, I was getting too “unsexual” and “not just an object of sex” for him and the fact that I one upped him in every way🤘🏽 Normally idgaf who’s more dominant in conversation or initiating hanging out or one upping who but I kinda get an ego boost when it makes weak and misogynistic men like this shrivel up😂 I was also flirty btw imo I think I have a pretty good balance of seductive and great conversationalist lol and he just couldn’t process it along with other men I’ve talked to ngl
I also think he is deep in the ass of capitalism like those grind-set men they talked ab in the podcast because 1. he’s a white rich privileged man and shows it off. I’m definitely the opposite of that and 2. he didn’t seem to like it when I brought up how civil design differentiates from rich communities to poorer ones. Like if u travel just 5 miles north from my house where he lives past the mountains that divide us u will see cute little suburban white picket fence homes and where I live there’s like 3 families renting a single house and my walls are falling apart😂… but fr. I talked ab noise and air pollution in poorer neighborhoods and how freeways were designed to pass over the communities with people of color just to connect white neighborhoods together {I won’t rant ab that any further} but he clearly felt uncomfortable😂 and on our second date he asked me if I would help invest in his real estate business he wants to start like buying houses and renting them. Which I’m completely against idk why tf people need to own property and fuck everyone else over BUT at the time I was blinded by the attention he was giving me so I was like “well… I’ll give u my favorite penny that I found under my bed the other day” as a joke but fr though that’s weird to bring up on a second date. Just another one of those grind-set minions who are already rich and privileged but want to hoard more money for themselves and away from flowing into the hands of people who work their asses off everyday while also being a first generation college graduate in the making and get paid minimum wage👆🏽 {me} while he doesn’t go to school or get to do any dirty work. When I told him I wanted to go into Mechanical Engineering at some point but I refused to slave away at school for years and years without a social life or mental health while being in sm debt and that I’d rather struggle financially and be happy he definitely was uncomfortable lol😂 MAN how I love shocking people
My guy was negative and judgmental ab everything. When I told him that I love listening to Bad Bunny, Nirvana, Pink Floyd and $uicideBoy$ {just some artists I genuinely enjoy} he would always find something bad to say ab them. {all these artists were in 3 separate moments btw} He was like “umm but Bad Bunny is just Bad” definitely no pun intended he didn’t really joke around like that lol or “I can never get into Nirvana and I don’t like Kurt Cobain”. And me being a fucking rug to romance I was like “HEY, we all got our different opinions in music🥰” even though he’s lame for all that. BITCH I GOT EXQUISITE TASTE IN MUSIC that reaching far beyond what he’s into. He just listens to classical rock which I love too it’s so badass normally but he was one of those guitar playing douches that say “I only listen to real music”. I love guitarists and I also play bass and acoustic but I feel like we all know one of those guys😂
Even his walk says a lot, he walks so stereotypically masculine like his shoulders push back chest wide open arms swinging like a fucking grandfather clock and he wears sunglasses😭 I saw this as a red flag even before I stopped being blinded by the attention he was giving me. Like just fucking walk normal. I don’t wanna judge people who walk different😂🫶🏽 but fr dude it looked so fake.
He was pretty lack luster looking back at it objectively and the fact that he’s the one that ghosted me and not the other way around proves I’m one of those women that set the bar low for men because of my shitty experiences in the past and just because he’s slightly better than my ex makes me fall in love and forget his flaws meanwhile he’s just tryna twist this relationship to fit his idea of what dating a girl should be like. It’s bad lol
@@zm4362 DAMN GIRL??? HE SOUNDS ANNOYING AS FUCK. SUCH A RED FLAG HOW HE KEPT GOING ON AND ON ABOUT WHO ASKED WHO OUT FIRST LIKE OKAY MR MASCULINITY ISSUES… FORGET AB HIM AND JUST KEEP GIRLBOSSING UR WAY THROUGH LIFE U GOT THIS
@@zm4362 youre description of him walking reminds me of a LOT of people ksdjhfksjdhf
@@zm4362 pls use random health insurance quote sites and put his info (make up what you don’t know) in, the important piece is his phone number. my dude will be spammed with insurance agents trying to get him to sign with them for weeks to months. ☺️
As a gymnast, in highschool I was motivated by pure rage and spite to beat every guy in my gym class at the fitness tests. Everyone shits on that test but I went so hard because I was tired of men just ASSUMING they were stronger than me because I was a woman. One year I purposely went last for the pushup test and asked what the highest number was and the teacher said 34, and then I did 55. Even set the plank hold record in my school (11 minutes and 30 seconds) because one guy who went down before me was telling the other guy remaining to keep going because he couldn't be beat by a girl. Pure feminine rage in that moment.
I am dancing in college and the comments do not stop, even from adults. And I also play a lot of traditional team sports men play, and dance has always helped me in those other sports. Most of these guys cant touch their toes without yelping, or have done more than 10 crunches in their lives! We need better gym units about gymnastics and dance bc I was upset when all I got in primary school was *square dancing* thx Henry Ford….
girl boss
My lazy ass could never be able to do something like that even if I was having to deal with misogynist pieces of shit. Deadass, people like you are pretty cool and inspiring to me, especially when it comes to fitness.
Girlboss♥️
You are my idol omg
as a teenage girl its so comforting seeing women older than me make fun of men like this and grow out of centering them in their lives- gives me sm hope for my future
It takes practice learning how to stand up for yourself and break out of the “as a women you should always be polite” ideal. It was really hard for me to learn how to tell a guy to back off because I felt bad, but as a grow it’s become easier and easier the more I practice
It is also when you are old yourself :) Love watching men talking about that too. Philion is very good. It's like therapy ! There are many other types of men and mindset, hopefully ;)
The pickup community is such a hilarious concept in its self, a bunch of men talking to each other about how unappealing they are and pooling strategies about how to trick women into thinking they’re interesting
My sisters old housemate was an absolute creep. Would not talk to us, but had a book on how to get women. If he heard us laughing at him, he would have hated women even more. Fucking knob haha
Please the way I didn’t even think of that 😭😭😭😭😭 I was just like men getting up to their normal activities
@@fredcarpenter127 maybe you're not into women, then?
@Fred Carpenter maybe it was dudes catfishing you? Statistically males have lower IQ.
A really creepy thing about pick up artists is they go to clubs and bars sober and practice all their bs on drunk girls
Very telling that they only practice this on intoxicated women 💀 they go after the airhead college freshmen girls (no offense to y’all, you’re just young you’ll see what I mean later) while they’re ALSO drunk it’s so predatory and it doesn’t work lmao.
No exactly, there was one pick up artist that said: "For this to work the best, there should be a form of lubrication, like alcohol. It'll make the girl be more open to your advances." Like WHATTTTTTTT?? If you're "game" is so good, it should work without the victim of it having to be intoxicated ☠️ It's a little funny but very, very scary.
"if women were more willing to kill people I feel like we could get this in order" yes!!!! Lmfao
Britney teaches us so much. I literally had no idea there even was straight fanfiction
💀💀💀
LMFAOOOOOO WHEEZING
@@jakobm1291 when I found out there were people who make straight sims I was SHOOK
Same , I only read gay/lesbian fanfiction. I didnt know straight fanfiction existed, I thought the straights where happy with their straight media which is everything 😆
@@known_film4081 hahaha literally! I was like I didn’t know there were any straights for you guys to seek out? I knew there were Reylo fics but I assumed bc we all thought they were cousins that was on there for incest shipping straights who are a category to themselves
“If women were more willing to kill people” sarahhhhh 😭😭😭😭
Edit: i really enjoy hearing sarah and brittany talk about this kind of stuff because it really opens my eyes im a young woman and im still learning what it means to BE a woman and my worth and you two have really helped me.
ME FUCKING TOO ESPECIALLY BC I DO BE A TEEN
The honey ad after it took me out 💀
is nobody gonna talk about how white that statement was
@@7thCobweb wdym
When she said that, I was literally like, yep that's where they got us by the tati melons. It's true that if they tried this shit on men they would all literally start going berserk. Obviously, nobody should be violent at all. But that doesn't make what she said any less true. I just wish we could go to a different timeline because this one is so sad. I wish everyone were happy and could have peace. :/
When they mentioned people not thinking gymnastics is a sport, I remembered yesterday that my boyfriend was stretching his legs so we started talking about it. He told me that I “don’t know how to stretch” because he was in “like real sports, tough sports”. It was one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever heard. For instance I was in dance, gymnastics, soccer, swim, tennis, etc and used to stretch for an hour straight every morning. Like, fuuuuuck youuu my guy! Do you even realize how hard you have to stretch in ballet and gymnastics? My god.
Please tell me you called him out
@@alex-kk5so oh my god of course lol I straight up laughed right when he said it
so true! i had so many boys tell me that dance wasn’t a sport or that it was easy when i was dancing 9 hours a week in middle school. it’s not even just physically demanding but takes a mental toll too.
you mean he's still your bf after that? 🙀
He's going to end up tearing somethihng in those "tough" sports if he doesn't stretch properly.
Somebody mentioned that "enemies to lovers" is such a popular trope for women because it entails that they are, at any point in time during the narration, taken very seriously by the other party, whether out of spite or out of love, which is - unfortunately - very aspirational in many current dating environments
A lot of men view you as a sexual object before they ever view you as a friend/colleague/equal. Dear misogynists, does being stupid ever get exhausting?
My partner of 6 years now made it a firm prerequisite that we continue building a friendship before dating, even after we had both expressed interest in one another. And now he's my best friend and fiance.
I can't imagine the mindset of men that don't go into relationships looking for an actual relationship with an equal.
Brittany had a passive genius comment being that men are the “common denominator” in their interactions with women. MEN NEED TO REALIZE THIS. it’s not the women, it’s YOU!!
Narcissists are literally incapable of inflection.
I’m slow can you explain what she meant by this?
@@rosar.4293 i know men in my personal life that say women have always done them dirty, or broken up with them over similar or the same things. then they always default to blaming all women, instead of looking inward. maybe women aren’t the problem, but they are doing something wrong. men never want to take accountability or admit that they’re the reason their relationships fail.
@@guwuega8010exactly! Like whenever a guy says that all his ex girlfriends were crazy and that women never appreciate him- how he's never done anything wrong and these women are just ungrateful or bitchy.. you know that he's a complete shithead!
As a woman, yeah it’s soooo easy to just walk up to a guy in a bar, I literally made eye contact with a boy I didn’t know and did the “come sit” slap on my knee, came right over and sat in my lap, talked with me the rest of the night. Simple creatures
hahahahhahaha
This is pure gold lmao
😂😂
you are the goddess i worship
Being a gay man is about the same tbh; you kinda just look in someone's direction and ask for their Snapchat and that's that on that. Common denominator is men 💀
Sarah was trapped in a well and still recorded that Honey ad, that's dedication
U have given me a good laugh. Thanks!!
hahahahahahahhahahaha😂
24:16 it absolutely should be - we had a whole thing this year in the UK of our government basically saying "we can't make misogyny a hate crime bc it would overload the judicial system". They know exactly how much of a problem it is, they just can't be arsed to do anything about it.
Re: negging men. One time this dude wouldn’t leave my friend alone at the bar, so I just kept asking him his name and then purposely calling him the wrong name.
Lol I'm using this idea
The idea that so many people have to have a “extension” of them to empathize with women is so true. depressing but true.
When you guys talked about woman playing the “ugly woman” in television it actually reminded me, in Home Alone the picture of Buzz’s girlfriend that Kevin was like eww gross at was actually Buzz’s actor in a wig so they didn’t have to cast a young girl and ruin her self esteem.
was the pic even that bad?? even if it was buzz' actor in a wig, like, i haven't seen it in a while, but i've a vague memory of thinking it just looked like an irl pic of a kid (vs like a portfolio pic of a child actor/model) and being confused by kevin's reaction lol
@@littlefoxglove276 look it up
@@olive-gy2rt lmao i actually did and i was right?? like it's a lil goofy at worst
@@littlefoxglove276 yeah sure it’s not that bad but the way Kevin reacted was the bad part! If they cast a young girl to take a goofy picture only to be the ugly comic relief it wouldn’t have been very responsible.
@@jaylee5536 oh fr!! i'm pretty sure plenty of girls still got the "looks like buzz' gf" comparison or "WOOF" thrown at them the year that film came out, but y'kno. no possible way they could've put out a movie w/o at least one Ugly Chicks gag 🙄
idk if y’all look at these comments but i’d really want to see an episode on how tiktok creates a safe space for misogynistic men/boys. especially through influencers like andrew tate. they label misogyny as “logic” or “facts”
How he can easily post about harming women and then has girls on his show is a real mystery to me.
BUT SERIOUSLY listen, I don't even have tiktok, I have NEVER used tiktok (I found Sarah and Brittany through Trixie and Katya), and I've even noticed this. As someone who doesn't and has nerve used the app, I've noticed in online discourse around this issue and the reuploading of tiktoks on other platforms this bizarre section of guys just so blatant about it.
this, its becoming a massive problem and its indoctrinating young men
@@DeezN00tz99 it’s Super indoctrinating, i had some of his fans literally try to get me to join them and convince me that men are just scientifically better so they get to “own” a woman
@@Sam_Lite and then cries and whines whenever a woman tries to argue with whatever dumbass take he has. it makes no sense as to why people look over some mentally underdeveloped little man.
regarding the violence against women part, in other countries (for example Argentina where I'm from) these crimes are considered aggravated because of their chauvinistic nature. More so, murdering a woman it's considered "femicide/feminicide" so it's recognized that it wasn't just murder but it was done on the basis of gender
werk
Argentinian here! The saddest thing about that is the fact that most of the times those offenders are out within hours after they been caught and a lot of the victims live in fear. Yes, we have names for those specific types of crimes but there's no actual justice.
@@vf199X ah si obvio, la onda iba más por el lado de decir que legalmente no es raro que se reconozca, ya que se sostenga es otra cosa.. falta MUCHÍSIMO para que nuestra justicia nos cuide 😕
And in my country domestic violence is legal so you can legally beat your wife and no one will do anything to you because you married her. I will never get married here because marriage is just a permission from government to abuse.
Edit: pardon me, I will never get married anywhere, f*ck this sh!t
I remember watching this video by either jubilee or cut but it was about straight men kissing each other. It was very interesting because i noticed, men tend to respect other men’s boundaries SOOO much more than they would with a woman. Like being nervous about being “too gay” is more important to men. Like the guys in the video were asking each other if they could put their hands on his waist etc etc. Obviously the men in the vid specifically are probably normal ppl but. I do think there’s a general sense of physical respect straight men carry for other men that they simply do not carry for women/ anyone born w a uterus.
what??? I NEED TO SEE THIS VIDEO!!!
that ad read sounded like it was recorded and played from an early 2000's happy meal toy and it killed me - i love you guys and the new ep
LMAOO U DESCRIBED IT PERFECTLY
What you said about it being easy to get women to like you.... So I was at one point a very shy, nervous bisexual woman. I still am, but anyway. I was dating a woman, casually. And she shared her favorite song with me. It turned out to be a really good song to play on ukelele, which I play. So, more so because it was fun to play, and less to woo her, I learned how to play and sing her favorite song... and accidentally wooed her. At which point I wasn't feeling it and let her down. So it really is as simple as expressing genuine interest in what they care about. But don't be like me, and accidentally string a really nice person along because you like playing complex songs on ukelele...
You're really out here playing the game and acting shy about it? 😂 Please never change. You sound amazing.
@@Sam_Lite you gotta understand I didn’t know I was playing the game I was just a big dummy 🥲
love how they haven't been in the Trenches on tumblr. the "bitch is a slur" discourse has happened multiple times
i heard that and was surprised they hadn’t seen it too lol. internet discourse degeneracy runs deep on tumblr.
or even outside of the USA, here in Mexico, the spanish equivalent of bitch is now a "slur" in certain terf communities and it is indeed being used to rationalize their transphobia and homophobia as a "LOOK THEY USE BITCH BECAUSE THEY DONT CARE ABOUT WOMEN AND THEY WILL NEVER BE ONE" lol
I mean, it's a sexist slur for ages.
honestly idk if i’m just sensitive but i’ve never been cool with my male friends referring to other women as chicks or bitches. i definitely wouldn’t say it’s a slur but it does make me feel like they’re kinda gross for saying it.
also the whole “you get no bitches” insult is so childish to me, like in the context that it’s used is usually when men are misogynistic on the internet or some shit, then someone responds saying like “just say that you don’t get bitches” idk i know it’s mostly a joke but it feels wrong to me to be saying that to dudes, kinda reinforcing their grubby little minds.
@@humanure0 I feel this but I also call my girlfriends bitch in an excited kind of way, so I'm conflicted
This whole pickup artist episode reminds me of when I worked at my last restaurant job. New guy everyone thought was so cool- a few months later someone found out he used to be part of an infamous ‘pickup’ ring in California and was a REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER!! So gross and scary!
Oof
Names
Don’t be shy what his name
Dude restaurant jobs attract weird guys like that. When I was working at a restaurant we also had “the cool guy” who everyone loved, seemed totally normal. He started dating a very young hostess we worked with (red flag already) and turns out he was really violent, and abusive. His personality during work was completely faked. Of course once the rest of the staff found out he never showed his face in the restaurant again out of fear we would jump him (to be fair, we would have) but yeah. I do not trust overly charismatic people.
apparently my uncle used to pick up ladies at the bar by saying "You're really pretty for a girl"
LOL!!!!!! How do you reply to a comment like that?!
that’s hilarious😂
Does he know how insanely funny that is omg
The levels to this pick up line though 😂 using a backhanded compliment in the most innocent wrong way possible just to prove a point. I fucking love it
I'm so glad you guys talked about the 'females' thing. I hate it so much, especially when men call other men just 'men' but call women 'females' like ... double standard, ick. Plus, as a trans person, the connotation of female also indicates a lot of things about the way someone might treat me when/if they find out I'm trans. It's so gross dude, immediate red flag.
25 mins and loving that this episode is essentially a feminist rant so far. Love ya girlies
23:33 - This was the most profound and intelligent thing I’ve heard all year. Though hate crimes are still such a grey area in terms of having justice served, the fact that serial misogyny/dv/sa isn’t viewed in the public eye as a hate crime, and instead as personal disputes or a violent perpetrator goes to show that the idea of “keep it in the home” or marital discipline is still alive and well. It’s super dark and depressing, but Sarah’s commentary on it was so brilliant.
Being on the receiving end of these pick up lines literally feels like being held hostage 🙃
I listen to the podcast while I’m at my corporate job. I hate my work so much, but just having some company from divas who get it actually makes my day suck way less. Thank you so much
PERIOD QUEEN
I hate my job too! Hope you're able to find something else soon!
@@pinkertonlady I'm sorry diva :( I honestly might send my 2 weeks soon. This shit is SO miserable.
If you’re a guy who needs a pick up artist to learn how to SCAM women into talking to you, you should be hundreds of miles away from all women.
y’all make my day 4.2 million times better
Honestly too conservative of a number
40:20 God I love how witty Sarah is. They be getting me with these quick, off-the-dome jokes😭😭
"As a Christian you can't cosplay empathy!?" IM FUCKING SCREAMING
As much as this podcast is goofs and gafs, Sarah brought up such a great point. Why are men who exclusively beat up women or abuse women IS a hate crime I think! Really getting the gears going this morning hahah
The other thing about the “until I had a daughter” comment, is that I can’t help but wonder if he had a wife. No empathy/understanding for the woman you married, but it makes sense when you feel responsible for “guarding” your daughter’s virginity? It really does show that men are aware of the danger that other men pose to women, and it simply doesn’t bother them.
My dad said if a guy ever did something bad to me, to tell him. First time something happened I did tell him, but he saw nothing wrong…..then I learned my relationship with my dad had to change. My first boyfriend played a lot of mind games and gaslit me a lot, especially about my college education, and my dad saw nothing wrong with it. So it clicked. Even with my dad having daughters, nothing has changed. Then it makes me uncomfortable thinking about when my parents were together, thats its own can of worms.
This podcast is very important to young girls entering their womanhood who need to hear something like this from a figure that inspires them. Great job ladies!
"Bidding you adieu-doo" literally made me cry laughing thank you Brittany
Yesterday I came across an incel forum and went down a dark rabbit hole of reading their posts, it was absolutely horrifying and honestly made me sick. They genuinely don't consider women human, it terrifies me that there's men like that out there. But at the same time its almost fascinating from a psychological standpoint
in high school i had to deal with a guy who was one of these weird incel men for several years. we used to be really close friends until he started trying to ask me out constantly and i had to keep turning him down, and eventually we just kind of broke apart, but it didn't even end there. it turned into this abusive bullying situation where he'd constantly threaten me (he'd threaten to hurt me physically and sexually), lie about me to his friends, make fun of me for my appearance (even though he found me attractive), etc. my school never did anything about it because "boys will be boys!" and both of my parents had to threaten the school with legal action if nothing was done about it. and even after being threatened the school still did the bare minimum, he never got punished for anything. this particular thing has altered my life so much, it has given me trauma and even caused me to never go outside again because i was so terrified of running into him. and even after being out of school for 2 years now, its still a lingering fear in the back of my mind that i'll somehow run into him. although i am doing much better now and have been with a wonderful and incredibly respectful guy for almost 6 years now (he literally saved me from this incel several times).
i wanna thank you guys for talking about this topic and just absolutely ripping it to shreds. its comforting hearing people actually talk about this, since i have been through a kind of "mini version" of it myself. love you guys
It is awful how schools do nothing about it, then I get all the punishments under the sun for *wearing a tank top in August.* And we wonder why we see men being creepy to women, but not the other way around. Stop giving boys and men passes whilst policing my 12 year old body!
Im so sorry you had to go through that. That’s terrifying
Clicked so fast 🤣🤣 need my weekly dose of Britney and Sarah right about now!!
SAME. As soon as I see that thumbnail, I'm the flash.
Same lmao!! Having the worst day and then I see this and I’m like thank fuck.😂
Yes! I love Birtney Spears too!
Right MEOW !
Hey guys. Is internet addiction making you apparently roll with laughter? Or maybe the speed with which your hand can move? Ask your dr if lobotomy is right for you.
Something I want to point out is that sometimes wlw are guilty of these misogynistic instincts because of our own internalized misogyny. Just something I think more of us should be aware of & be actively trying to combat.
Some of the issues I had in my last relationship were relatable to a lot of my straight girl friends, which I found deeply unsettling at the time lol
At the beginning of this episode I literally was like “pick up artistry is just mens astrology” and then Sarah said the same thing at the end 😭
“A male doctor named Tyler is taking care of me, I’m going to lose a organ” LOOOOOOL
My senior year of college my roommate would watch pickup artist videos…..WITHOUT HEADPHONES all the time. And my GOD they were awful. It was 100% fully transparent about the fact that they were trying to get women to sleep with them and NOTHING else. They had lessons that were nothing but contingency plans for if girls caught feelings, how to string a girl along for as long as possible while getting the most sex out of her, etc. It was awful. I didn’t hardly ever talk to him because of that, it was just SO creepy and weird. Not to mention the fact that I ALWAYS wore headphones when I watched my stuff but he rarely did.
If I needed any further confirmation that I was gay, that really did it. The straights are NOT ok….
Lol meanwhile for us gay guys everyone is trying to fuck but nobody actually wants to have a meaningful conversation😂
Brittany looks especially pretty this episode, I don't know what she did different but something really suits her
she’s glowing from within fr
Negging stopped working on me when I stopped giving a shit what men say (and that's on comp het). If a man said to me, "It's great that you're not self-conscious about your stretch marks." I just stare at them unchanging and say, "Why would I be?" Keep going and they'd probably get, "It's great that you're not self-conscious about your height/hairline." Be mean. I be mean back.
if i has a nickel for everytime brittany and sarah mentioned rumple stiltskin oh this postcast i would have two nickels which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice right?
BRITTANY I SAW YOU AT THE LONDON AIRPORT A FEW DAYS AGO!!!! I was really busy with a suitcase that popped open and I saw you as you were passing me and I wasn’t 100% sure it was you, but when I saw you were in London I knew I was right! Biggest regret of my life not saying hi to you! I hope you are having a wonderful time in the UK!!! Love you girl 💕💕💕
you both have the uncanny ability to be informative, funny, and also extremely down to earth. I love that you can discuss topics and learn from each other.
Sarah: “guerrilla war tactics at the bar”
Brittany: “ 🦍🦍”
😩💀💀 crying!! 😂😂😂
Great conversation starter. "Does your dress have pockets?" Or general conversation about pockets.
top tier
u guys should read “men that hate women” by laura bates cos it covers the topic of pick up artists and other groups of extremely misogynistic men. it’s a really heavy book but it is a great read and super informative! love u guys!!
I've got it tagged on Libby to read later, thanks! There's another great book I've read called "Why Does He Do That" by Lundy Bancroft, slightly different topic but still very applicable and very informative
@@Yviene311 oooh i will have to check that one out, thanks for the recommendation!!!!
"best i can give you is twelve men; ran thru"
that gave me a big ol laugh
i forget every week that these come out on mondays and get inexplicably excited every time
Negging for men:
-it's so cool you still choose to grow out your facial hair even though it's patchy!
-you're not too ugly for a short guy!
-that shirt looks great on you, where'd you find a store that carries stuff for your body type?
-I think it's great that you choose to wear flip flops even though you haven't shaved your toes!
-you drive pretty decent for a truck owner!
-for a smaller guy, you do a good job of keeping up with the others!
-wow, you're so confident for someone of your size/shape/profession!
-I'm surprised you felt so confident coming up to me looking like that/wearing that!
dont say these things. youre not solving anything
Omg Brittany mimicking a caveman like Ethan did on their podcast episode together made me so happy
Omg I was scrolling thru comments seeing if anyone else notice lol
Sarah is a goddam genius w how they craft their delivery and jokes. How tf can someone think that fast??
DUDEE RIGHT ? I always think this whenever they deliver their jokes 😭like damn I wish
Gorl! “As a Christian, you can’t cosplay empathy?” Slay.
Time to watch my favoritest little Christian internet show
I mixed up “pick-up artist” with “con artist” and I was like why are we gonna talk about scammers?
Lol tbh they’re probably one in the same
Around 39:00 , my ex boyfriends dad literally told me he majored in psychology just so he could get with women easier 😭😭
oh my
@@oscarkamala Ik😭 I just stood there like “oh… nice..” but in my head I was like if this is what his dad is like, what is he going to be like😳 and yea he was pretty much the same as his dad
@@bigwaffles oh nooo 😭 i’m glad you got out of that
Literally said eww out loud reading this 😖
being in a sarah and brittany mood and then this drops dawg im so happy
Sarah, you’re up to something. I specialize in Human Rights, specially woman’s rights in Latin American. We have A HUGE problem with violence against women, yes. However, we are lightyears ahead when it comes to awareness. The States doesn’t even categorize murders commited against women FOR LITERALLY being women as feminicides. For such a violent country, there isn’t in Law, a significant interest in categorizing gender based violence.
I remember a post on reddit where this guy was annoyed that women kept wanting to sleep with him on the first date. He spoke about women like they were a game and he legit used the word *cheap* to describe a woman who would sleep with him early on. He tried to say he had no problem with women who like to do that, but then contradicted himself a lot. It was so gross.
Also his first dates with these women were for drinks at bars, not like, coffee in the middle of the day. So he was setting himself up for a romantic atmosphere with lowered inhibitions and then mad about how it *felt* like these women were willing to sleep with him already.
Thank GOD! I was scrolling aimlessly looking for a podcast that was actually entertaining.
Literally same
oh i'm EARLY EARLY hello homies!! love love love the pod and y'all 💞💞
LMAO “when men beat up their girlfriends, historically” and Brittany is like what in the world where was Sara going with this 😂😂
The thing is, even guys are grossed out by pick up artists. I've explained some situations to my guy friends and the consensus is always "wtf" or "you should've called the police". They really be their own breed I swear.
a new variation of "you're really funny for a woman" is "you're actually really funny." it makes men feel better about themselves because they've tricked themselves into thinking it's not a misogynistic thing to say.
It’s just so comforting being alive at the same time as you two 💗
Fr the other day I was thinking while watching this podcast we are blessed to have them in our lifetime 😭
ayyy, dope pp
Omg fun fact the Australian Prime Minister said the exact same thing about his wife and daughters! 9:00 he simply didn't not clock a woman's issue until his wife told him about it/ framed it as "What if it happened to our daughters?"
So fucking gross
23:00 HEAVY on this. read "men who hate women" by laura bates, she talks all about how incels and men will beat and shoot women for the often explicit reason that they just are women, and yet there is no legal classification for sex-based hate crimes or terrorism. huge huge issue because if we don't acknowledge the cause of this violence (misogyny), we can't even begin to address or solve it.
22:59 honestly THANK YOU for this whole segment. This idea has been buzzing around in my head for a while and it’s awesome to hear you guys articulate it so well. The fact that violence and discriminatory attitudes against women are so normalized that we as a society tend to not call out some men’s brutal misogyny as what it is until they victimize untold numbers of women is kind of staggering.
The shit that these pick up artist types make plants the seeds that grow into more Elliot Rodgers and that fucking matters. The things they say are very reflective of how they view women and where they’d like us to be in relation to them and we need to believe them when they say it and shut that shit down before more people die, and it needs to be just as hard as is done for other marginalized groups.
Pointing out the misogynistic tendencies of these men after the fact is ineffective and it just gives their actions more power. People will attribute the murder of a dozen women to how “crazy” the guy who killed them was, when there’s almost always a clear progression of repeated misogynistic, sometimes criminally so, behavior throughout the man’s life that wasn’t taken as seriously and addressed by the people around him before he murdered those dozen women. At some point we need to look at who isn’t taking these incidents seriously and why.
We need to start naming these serial abusers what they actually are in a lot of cases: small ass misogynists committing hate crimes against women in a system that allows them to do it. That’s why this problem is so huge and widespread.
Women die all the time because of men with fragile egos and deep rooted senses of superiority. We as a society need to start reckoning with the question of why a woman’s pain is seen as more acceptable when it comes at the hands of a man, so much so that it isn’t considered hate enough for a hate crime.
tldr hold men accountable for their misogyny please for the love of god!!!!!!!
The breakthrough I had with my mother about respecting trans people was started by putting her in a friend's shoes, she was using her deadname because she "knew her when she was [name here]" and thought it was okay, but I framed it by asking her how she would feel if someone repeatedly used the wrong name against her and refused to correct themselves no matter how many times they purposely misnamed her. It was like a window shattering and she finally got it, and even apologized to my friend about it. They get along great now!
Sarah !! Kristen Stewart already said on Elle Magazine "Men cannot say b*tch anymore" back in 2017 and I personally stopped ever since cause you both are right, it IS A SLUR !!!
at 23 minutes. some people in Canada are trying to get the word "femicide" put in the criminal code. so it will be easier to track crime against women.
Sarah, I have ALWAYS felt that way about the word bitch and how "okay" it is to discriminate SO BLATANTLY against women, hearing you make the same exact argument I always do is so incredibly validating and please never stop being you
I think the worst thing is when you do your best to get someone to put themselves in your shoes, they act like they are going along with it and then when you ask them if they understand the other side, they say "....well I don't know about that"
47:25 the comment about gymnastics and cheerleading not being ‘real sports’ reminds me so much of people (men) telling me in high school that netball is not a real sport because they compared it to basketball which is a different sport altogether (obviously). Just because netball is mostly played by women it’s not considered a real sport when it is by far a very physically demanding sport always baffled me 🤦🏻♀️
I don’t think a pickup artist has ever been successful in even the tiniest amount
yeah it's all fabricated to make them look good. if a woman sleeps with them it's most likely because she is getting paid to do so
Which is why so many pop up because there hasn't been a successful one 😆
I recently came out as trans to my friends and now this podcast is like a crash course in womens' experiences for me, I'm learning a lot :)
Brittany is scary good at different accents lmao
“As a Christian you cant like cosplay empathy?” BEST QUOTE OF THE CENTURY
14:12 this moment is so funny to me. You want to date someone with the same interests as you? Well sounds like you’re gay.
"i didn't know someone missing so many teeth went to harvard." I SCREAMED
This brought out a buried memory! In high school, my first ever serious bf bought a book about "the art of pick-up" and tried to tell me it wasn't about picking up or manipulating women, but it was all about having confidence and feeling like you can talk to people. 🙃 Looking back I wish I had run away faster lmaoo
yeeeaaAaaAAASSSSSSS knowing drew could be on an upcoming episode… whew.. can we make it an extended episode?! I wanna hear y’all TELL IT.
If a man said he liked my nails then asked if they were real it wouldn’t lower my confidence it would just make me think that he’s stupid. Why don’t men get this
I mean yea, but honestly it can really mess with your head: "Is this your real hair or extensions/a wig?" for example, or "Are your lashes this long or is it *just* MakeUp?" can feel very intrusive, because it is someone trying to prove to you that they can "pick you apart", like they acknowledge something looks good on you - but then try to almost investigate to knock you down as in "Oh, if it is not natural anyone can do/achieve it". Those people cant just be happy for you. They also love to do it in front of other people to put you on the spot or even touch you. They sort of pull a gun to your chest, if its real you have to prove it, if it is fake you either have to admit it or lie, which can be followed up by touching for example or outright saying they dont believe you (the true intention comes out). This can get so awkward, like imagine pressuring someone who lost their hair to cancer or something.
@@m00nrac00n Yes, that's exactly why I have to think this way, because if I didn't it could mess w my confidence. It's better to just disregard the comment altogether. Also a lot of men really aren't able to tell and genuinely don't know if someone is wearing makeup or not etc. so that just goes to show how the whole "I like girls natural" thing is so stupid bc most of the time they can't even tell.
"Where are the band kids?" here brit. I'm here. I haven't touched one of the instruments I played in high school since I stopped doing jazz band in college, but I still consider all low brass players red flags
unless they r women in which case that’s my dating pool
@@vaibh4vi this is it
when the older band kids would date the freshmen woodwind girls 🤮
@@peddlingfalsehoods6321 the 18 year old trumpet player who dated the 13 year old flautist who got caught fucking in the band closet apirljbajergawefawefawefawfwae HGANEGHAB he had the worst farmer's tan tho
I swear, every episode Brittany has a new sticker on the laptop
I have NEVER encountered one of these pickup artists in the wild and I pray I never do. Probably bc everyone mistakes me for a guy in a dark bar.
Also, imagining a world where pickup artists just describes people who are good at literally picking up things. Like who can pick up a sack of flour better?
I had that thing happen to me with my ex where he discarded me and “used me as practice” for a “woman with value”, and the worst part is I had no idea the entire fucking relationship. I thought it was real.
It fucked me up so bad I haven’t been able to date since…not because I want him back, but because I feel like I can’t trust how anyone feels about me.
Hope you heal and see that HE was YOUR practice for men on value
I had a similar thing happen. Have not dated anyone since, about to transfer colleges so mybe a new group of people could help me warm back up to being open to dating, but he really messed me up on a mental level. Nothing bad was ever physical, but what he said to me really changed me…hard to read ppl and trust them in romantic relationships, so I have been leaning on friends for a few years and thank goodness I have a core of good friendships.
i started slapping my bed crying when i heard the first ad sounding like a literal phone call. its kinda sick. yall are the best
Y’all are getting INTO IT TODAY YALL! I love it