Hey y’all i’ve got a success story here! Coach craig is the only coach i trust and i refuse to watch anyone else, because i followed his advice through 2 breakups & even though i didn’t get the first one back, i realized it was for the better because that ex didn’t deserve me anyway. I’m definitely an anxious attachment style while my ex was more secure. Long story short, he dumped me because of my insecurities. I was devastated. I didn’t beg him to take me back, but the day we split i tried talking sense into him but he wouldn’t listen. It seemed like he hated me so i had no choice but to give up. We went our separate ways. He removed me on all social media. I didn’t contact him at all as much as i wanted to, believe me it was really hard. I started therapy, going to the gym, reading books, watching the videos, getting new hobbies.. Then he started reaching out to me once a week and we would talk but it still seemed like he had animosity towards me, so i tried to be neutral to him and didn’t clamor to beg for him back. I kept our exchanges friendly and neutral, and then he randomly asked me to hang out. We did, and it went well, and we hung out again. Since then, we’ve been talking every day and hanging out, and this passed weekend we went to a wedding together where he introduced me as his girlfriend. I pulled him aside and clarified that we were back together and he confirmed. I’m still working on myself and i reassured him that i’m learning to manage my anxiety better in therapy. I honestly thought he was gone for good because he told me he’s never taken an ex back but after following the advice, it seems like that’s not the case (because feelings change!) i’m still working on myself and have to be careful not to stop, but here’s to hoping it works out for the better.
13:17 "So when you see someone who obsesses over what they did wrong, it may not have been that they did anything wrong, and it may be that they had a difficult person" This really reminded me of myself. Thank you, coach Margaret.
Craig is awesome! I am still thinking about my ex, but I am healing and starting to have moments of thinking if I actually want her back! She's actually in a rebound and is looking for houses after two months, makes me laugh and feel sad for her because you just know it's going to fall apart. And eventhough I miss her and I think most part of me still wants to be with her, but above all I want her to be happy and this rebound will fall apart again but that's not my fault but still feel bad for her. We were together for almost 4 years and it was a really loving and bonded relationship and it tore me apart when we broke up, she was really my best friend and sweetest lover I have ever had, but I have learned so much about my attachment style and behaviour thanks to you Craig and Margaret, I am really happy with whom I am now and becoming. Stopped drinking entirely, picked up my hobbies again, read books again and started to work out every day again. Thanks for your work Craig and Margaret and please don't ever stop doing this, it helps people so much and makes the world a better emotional place!
Coach Craig Kenneth but whyyyy? You need your own time for vacationing and relaxation! 😞 Thank you for all the wonderful content, blessings. Had a night terror, been up since, school and work in a few. 😅 Wish me luck.
I can't wait to be able to schedule a Skype with you or Margaret. Just have to get the money for it 1st. :( I watch your videos all day every day to try to get better clarity until I can afford your workbooks.
Very well said you two and informative! I’ve battled anxiety since I was a teenager. I’m definitely an anxious type personality. My ex broke up with me for a stupid reason last January. Although he reached out 3 times, he quickly retreated. I’ve battled anxiety horribly the past 9 months but working hard to get it under control. Your videos really help so thank you 🙏 both. All the best and don’t give up, everyone!! Much ❤️ Love!!
Yesterday my anxiety levels was triggered and I used the self-soothing method for the first time.... and it actually worked...❤️thank you, Margaret and Craig
I've been seeing this phrase on social media far too often, "if they want you nothing will keep them from you". It makes sense but causes me great depression because my ex has told me he wants nothing to do with me. Could you do a video on " if they want you nothing will stop them from being with you"?
I had no ideas about any of this till I found your channel 2 years ago and it was so mind blowing and even upsetting. A lot more people have caught onto it lately
Hey I’m experiencing a hard breakup and I live with anxiety everyday it’s actually very hard to handle but I keep trying, If anyone has went through the same thing please share it with me how long it took you to overcome anxiety?
I don't know if I am anxious or just plain pissed. I thought games stopped at my age. I am 57 and he is 62. He needed space after 2 years and I gave it to him. He had someone lined up, found out he took her in a vaction we had planned . He lied and said he was going alone to heal from death of previous girlfriend. Patient and understanding I believe in people being honest. Guess I am fooled again! Does anyone tell the truth anymore and why play with someone's trust and emotions!
what if you want to spend some time during a day with them if you live together and are always happy to see them - does it count as anxious or clingy? I would be a bit upset when she would ignore me, especially if repeatedly day after day while living under one roof. The GF was herself more of an avoidant type with some anxious manifestations. Could this be that a person develops stronger anxiety due to a partner being avoidant? I got especially anxious when the break up happened and also some time before when i began to realize she has been pulling away for too long. And she did not even notice it she though everything was ok. Those anxious types could vary by degree right? Before that i was married for 15 yrs and my wife was an extreme case of avoidant type too. And i would blame myself all the time when she was unsatisfied.
Became a huge fan in the last 9 months. I am an Avoidant and my wife is an Anxious-- these help Me better understand our marriage. Job well done. 10:56 my Father told me ‘boys don’t cry....- cut off your penis and be a girl’. -- I was ...11 years old.
Is it possible to change your attachment style with different people that you are with? I know in past relationships I have honestly be described as an avoidant. I would push guys away and could careless if they called or texted but I do also see that I wasn't all that attracted to them and took at least a year to really fall in love and with my breakup with them, i can honestly say that theres absolutely no hurting at all and I was with one guy for 8 years and have 2 kids with him but the guy I was just with for just 3 short months, I was crazy attracted to him and worked with him 2 years ago and we had stopped talking because he was with someone and so was I at the time but reconnected back in May and I attached to him quickly and could associate more with the anxious attachment style. How is that possible?
Also to add, during the 2 years that I wasn't with my last ex, I couldnt stop thinking about him at all and that's when I reached out to him mainly to see if he was still with the lady he was dating because I was so attracted to him and never felt like that toward any guy I have ever met in my life! I am 33 and he is 48 if that makes any difference.
I was wondering the same! I go through this constantly, I’m avoidant AND anxious...until I get them, then I’m avoidant again. Definitely have work to do😩
hey craig! i've been in a LDR for 2.5 years (he lives in germany, I am german but studying in the US) and he broke up with me a week and a half ago. Been in NC ever since. During our last conversation he told me he still has feelings for me, part of him doesn't want to give the relationship up and he hasn't cancelled his flight yet. He was supposed to come visit me in december for my graduation and I am also getting ready to move back to Germany in January. I'm incredibly anxious because he hasn't contacted me yet and I don't know if he still plans on coming to see me. We would basically go from not talking to each other for a month, to seeing each other every day for a month straight. I think that might overwhelm him because I think he's the avoidant type and he claimed he needed space when we broke up. I think if he would come to visit me he would show me that he still cares and wants to fix things. But I'm scared of him telling me that he's not going to visit me because I would have to go through the pain of the break up and the pain of rejection all over again. I don't know what to do...
Just my opinion. Keep NC and let him get in touch like you are already doing. But you also need to understand you have a life and a graduation coming your way which is really important for you so for now prioritise that. Also if he contacts you, try not to show any excitement because if you do you are making him think that its ok to be like this and he can come in and out whenever he pleases and you certainly don't need that. You need to show him that you are moving on with your life with or without him.
I used to want my bfs to walk around looking down when I was a teenager too for exactly the same reason. They of course didn't want to but one or two did look down a lot. I also didn't want them going into a news agency because thy might walk past the girly magazine areas Luckily somehow as I got older I realised how ridiculous this was but, just saying that I understand that level of anxiety.
What is the problem when for example my ex always blamed me for everything that went wrong when it was obvious that her bad behavior triggers me to ignore her calls or messages or when she destroyed doors and stuff in my home when she got rage outbreaks for bullshit reasons. But after years of forgiving her and wanting to continue the relationship, she leave me and she can't se her own part of why our four year relationship went to hell. I was not perfect but I am damn sure she was much worse and everybody that knows me saw that and couldn't understand my patience with her.
Hey y’all i’ve got a success story here! Coach craig is the only coach i trust and i refuse to watch anyone else, because i followed his advice through 2 breakups & even though i didn’t get the first one back, i realized it was for the better because that ex didn’t deserve me anyway. I’m definitely an anxious attachment style while my ex was more secure. Long story short, he dumped me because of my insecurities. I was devastated. I didn’t beg him to take me back, but the day we split i tried talking sense into him but he wouldn’t listen. It seemed like he hated me so i had no choice but to give up. We went our separate ways. He removed me on all social media. I didn’t contact him at all as much as i wanted to, believe me it was really hard. I started therapy, going to the gym, reading books, watching the videos, getting new hobbies.. Then he started reaching out to me once a week and we would talk but it still seemed like he had animosity towards me, so i tried to be neutral to him and didn’t clamor to beg for him back. I kept our exchanges friendly and neutral, and then he randomly asked me to hang out. We did, and it went well, and we hung out again. Since then, we’ve been talking every day and hanging out, and this passed weekend we went to a wedding together where he introduced me as his girlfriend. I pulled him aside and clarified that we were back together and he confirmed. I’m still working on myself and i reassured him that i’m learning to manage my anxiety better in therapy. I honestly thought he was gone for good because he told me he’s never taken an ex back but after following the advice, it seems like that’s not the case (because feelings change!) i’m still working on myself and have to be careful not to stop, but here’s to hoping it works out for the better.
13:17 "So when you see someone who obsesses over what they did wrong, it may not have been that they did anything wrong, and it may be that they had a difficult person"
This really reminded me of myself. Thank you, coach Margaret.
I try so hard to make sure my kids grow up secure. Going to start doing the, “you’re okay, you’re okay...” Great stuff as always!!
Craig is awesome! I am still thinking about my ex, but I am healing and starting to have moments of thinking if I actually want her back! She's actually in a rebound and is looking for houses after two months, makes me laugh and feel sad for her because you just know it's going to fall apart. And eventhough I miss her and I think most part of me still wants to be with her, but above all I want her to be happy and this rebound will fall apart again but that's not my fault but still feel bad for her. We were together for almost 4 years and it was a really loving and bonded relationship and it tore me apart when we broke up, she was really my best friend and sweetest lover I have ever had, but I have learned so much about my attachment style and behaviour thanks to you Craig and Margaret, I am really happy with whom I am now and becoming. Stopped drinking entirely, picked up my hobbies again, read books again and started to work out every day again. Thanks for your work Craig and Margaret and please don't ever stop doing this, it helps people so much and makes the world a better emotional place!
That’s great! Thanks for sharing
I just cancelled a short trip, so I just opened up a whole bunch of time slots next week! So you can get in quickly :)
Coach Craig Kenneth but whyyyy? You need your own time for vacationing and relaxation! 😞
Thank you for all the wonderful content, blessings.
Had a night terror, been up since, school and work in a few. 😅 Wish me luck.
Only moving it for when I have family coming into town :)
Coach Craig Kenneth 💡 Good thinking! :)
I can't wait to be able to schedule a Skype with you or Margaret. Just have to get the money for it 1st. :(
I watch your videos all day every day to try to get better clarity until I can afford your workbooks.
Very well said you two and informative! I’ve battled anxiety since I was a teenager.
I’m definitely an anxious type personality. My ex broke up with me for a stupid reason last January. Although he reached out 3 times, he quickly retreated. I’ve battled anxiety horribly the past 9 months but working hard to get it under control. Your videos really help so thank you 🙏 both. All the best and don’t give up, everyone!!
Much ❤️ Love!!
I looooove Margaret's black cat earrings! ❤️
Yesterday my anxiety levels was triggered and I used the self-soothing method for the first time.... and it actually worked...❤️thank you, Margaret and Craig
This video hit me so hard i started crying while walking my dog. I got dumped 5 days ago while i was going through an abortion.
I've been seeing this phrase on social media far too often, "if they want you nothing will keep them from you". It makes sense but causes me great depression because my ex has told me he wants nothing to do with me. Could you do a video on " if they want you nothing will stop them from being with you"?
You should consider a session with Margaret
I had no ideas about any of this till I found your channel 2 years ago and it was so mind blowing and even upsetting. A lot more people have caught onto it lately
Lol I think u mean, watched out channel and are copying out ideas 😂
THANK YOU!! That’s all I have to say. So educational and way more helpful than my therapist.
I'm your big fan Craig, I grew up from the last 2 years listening to you almost every day. Thank you so much
Thank you 👋
I've learned soo much about myself through your videos these past two years! Thank you for all you do💙 You both are very appreciated!!
Hey
I’m experiencing a hard breakup and I live with anxiety everyday it’s actually very hard to handle but I keep trying, If anyone has went through the same thing please share it with me how long it took you to overcome anxiety?
Did Margaret get her hair done? She looks so good :)
I'm anxious, shy, introvert, fragile...and it sucks
same, im anxious and leads to overthinking
I don't know if I am anxious or just plain pissed. I thought games stopped at my age. I am 57 and he is 62. He needed space after 2 years and I gave it to him. He had someone lined up, found out he took her in a vaction we had planned . He lied and said he was going alone to heal from death of previous girlfriend. Patient and understanding I believe in people being honest. Guess I am fooled again! Does anyone tell the truth anymore and why play with someone's trust and emotions!
I thought the same too but it never ends. I am 60. He is 56.
what if you want to spend some time during a day with them if you live together and are always happy to see them - does it count as anxious or clingy? I would be a bit upset when she would ignore me, especially if repeatedly day after day while living under one roof. The GF was herself more of an avoidant type with some anxious manifestations.
Could this be that a person develops stronger anxiety due to a partner being avoidant? I got especially anxious when the break up happened and also some time before when i began to realize she has been pulling away for too long. And she did not even notice it she though everything was ok. Those anxious types could vary by degree right?
Before that i was married for 15 yrs and my wife was an extreme case of avoidant type too. And i would blame myself all the time when she was unsatisfied.
Became a huge fan in the last 9 months. I am an Avoidant and my wife is an Anxious-- these help Me better understand our marriage. Job well done. 10:56 my Father told me ‘boys don’t cry....- cut off your penis and be a girl’. -- I was ...11 years old.
Is it possible to change your attachment style with different people that you are with? I know in past relationships I have honestly be described as an avoidant. I would push guys away and could careless if they called or texted but I do also see that I wasn't all that attracted to them and took at least a year to really fall in love and with my breakup with them, i can honestly say that theres absolutely no hurting at all and I was with one guy for 8 years and have 2 kids with him but the guy I was just with for just 3 short months, I was crazy attracted to him and worked with him 2 years ago and we had stopped talking because he was with someone and so was I at the time but reconnected back in May and I attached to him quickly and could associate more with the anxious attachment style. How is that possible?
Also to add, during the 2 years that I wasn't with my last ex, I couldnt stop thinking about him at all and that's when I reached out to him mainly to see if he was still with the lady he was dating because I was so attracted to him and never felt like that toward any guy I have ever met in my life! I am 33 and he is 48 if that makes any difference.
I was wondering the same! I go through this constantly, I’m avoidant AND anxious...until I get them, then I’m avoidant again. Definitely have work to do😩
I don't know if he would ever come back
hey craig! i've been in a LDR for 2.5 years (he lives in germany, I am german but studying in the US) and he broke up with me a week and a half ago. Been in NC ever since. During our last conversation he told me he still has feelings for me, part of him doesn't want to give the relationship up and he hasn't cancelled his flight yet. He was supposed to come visit me in december for my graduation and I am also getting ready to move back to Germany in January. I'm incredibly anxious because he hasn't contacted me yet and I don't know if he still plans on coming to see me. We would basically go from not talking to each other for a month, to seeing each other every day for a month straight.
I think that might overwhelm him because I think he's the avoidant type and he claimed he needed space when we broke up. I think if he would come to visit me he would show me that he still cares and wants to fix things. But I'm scared of him telling me that he's not going to visit me because I would have to go through the pain of the break up and the pain of rejection all over again. I don't know what to do...
Just my opinion. Keep NC and let him get in touch like you are already doing. But you also need to understand you have a life and a graduation coming your way which is really important for you so for now prioritise that. Also if he contacts you, try not to show any excitement because if you do you are making him think that its ok to be like this and he can come in and out whenever he pleases and you certainly don't need that. You need to show him that you are moving on with your life with or without him.
I used to want my bfs to walk around looking down when I was a teenager too for exactly the same reason.
They of course didn't want to but one or two did look down a lot. I also didn't want them going into a news agency because thy might walk past the girly magazine areas
Luckily somehow as I got older I realised how ridiculous this was but, just saying that I understand that level of anxiety.
What is the problem when for example my ex always blamed me for everything that went wrong when it was obvious that her bad behavior triggers me to ignore her calls or messages or when she destroyed doors and stuff in my home when she got rage outbreaks for bullshit reasons. But after years of forgiving her and wanting to continue the relationship, she leave me and she can't se her own part of why our four year relationship went to hell. I was not perfect but I am damn sure she was much worse and everybody that knows me saw that and couldn't understand my patience with her.
can someone be aviodant, anxious and secure at the same time?
That's the disorganised attachment style I'd say, but none of this is secure 🤔
If I delete my ex’s pictures off of my social media does that ruin my chances?
Average Gameplay no but i cant promise you
It depends why you did it.
Mayhamsdead so old memories weren’t affecting newly created ones through no contact