Thank you so much for having us on your show again! And for being our partners in spreading AOE Healing on the internet. Hope y'all enjoy this episode as much as we enjoyed recording it 💚
Appreciate your “motivation” to motivate- but your bedside manner is really lacking in compassion and authenticity- Your PR marketing people need to help you look and sound less rehearsed- your motivation seems to be about “convincing”, or “head games” - too controlling- and doesn’t seem you’re listening to Mel’s answers to your questions- you had what you wanted to say rehearsed, planned regardless of her answers- just saying “I’m hearing that…I feel like you’re …”: All leading questions that ironically are 100% in control of outcome- Dr.K’s Desired outcome of this interview for him self, his agenda … You tend to skip over actually explaining how to get “un-stuck” - By the way, awareness being the absolute firs stop to any personal growth is not new by any means. Last constructive criticism- Dr.K uses too many “buzzwords” and psychological? tactics perhaps? Frankly, this is a bit boring and recycled, very much already and vastly understood by many who are interested in they’re overall well being- it’s not “weird” or “new” - you’re simply saying or shall I say “selling” it to be. Too much marketing too little content.
My takeaways: -Focus on action not outcome because when the mind is focused on action, the outcomes naturally improve; success is doing the thing. -Be aware of when your mind is monitoring inner conflict instead of deciding to take action and being present with the action. -Practice detachment: divorce yourself from the outcomes of your actions.
Thank you for sharing your takeaways, I just finished watching this and trying to take notes during it, and my brain is both blown away and melted. As in I know that was one of the most profound things I have heard in a very long time but I also didn’t really know what was the first thing I should focus on? If you know what I mean? I have written your takeaways in my notebook and they will be a great starting place one my melted brain comes back into shape! 😂
@@nataliemarshall7158 I'm so happy you found them helpful! I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes it's difficult to prioritize when there are so many actions we can take.
I’ve always hated running and think that I’m so bad at it. I’m miserable everytime I run and it feels like my whole body is screaming at me to stop. One day I learned that everyone feels this way. That avid runners and competitive runners also feel pretty miserable when they run. The difference is they learn to ignore that part of their brain telling them to stop. It’s still there they just push through. I’ve recently realized that I’m addicted to comfort. But in order to accomplish things I have to push through discomfort and all the things I’m afraid of to get what I want. And that everyone who is successful has to push through their discomfort too. So I tell myself now that I have to get comfortable being uncomfortable. And that being uncomfortable is going to be a regular part of my life now.
@@timetraveller2818 quite true , but i honestly feel that it is stage 2 , because it is genuinely tough to let go of end result or long term goal , because i remember once he said "move towards the direction not a point/fixed spot" i.e "getting masters vs either getting masters from harvard or not getting masters from any university"
What if running is not your kinda sport? Did you try other ways to exercise? I love running and kick boxing but hate pilates. I have friends who love pilates and barre, but hate running and zumba and other intense cardio classes.
i think im a decent enough runner: these tips might help you! when i run i try to see how far long i keep running with the discomfort. the longer i manage, the greater the achievement! the goal isnt to beat someone else’s time, its to push my own limits. every minute i run with the discomfort is another minute beyond my limits! success! ofcourse, its important not to push yourself TOO far, but I think we learn where that line is with experience (and by pushing only a “little” further than our last run, instead of many times further). but also, often, i try to not feel the discomfort instead of feeling it and “pushing” through it. i do this in a few ways: i repeat a mantra in my head (eg “i got this, i got this”, or “im feeling great” or “im doing great”). and i try to breath rythmically, with my steps. i breathe a certain way (i think its two quick inhales, and a long exhale, timed with my steps, whatver feels comfortable). i try not to slow down because for some reason that makes me more tired. the more you run the more tricks you find (through experimentation or research) to ignore or endure the pain. i also often try to ignore the time instead of looking at my watch very often because it can psychologically tire me to see how many more minutes are left haha, but it depends. sometimes looking helps. i try different things.
I cannot listen to Dr K enough.. Every single one of his interviews is so insightful... He got it so right when he says Western psychiatry is so lacking. He really possesses the X factor that most other doctors don't possess..
This episode is magic. I have been mentally stuck..... working on my business plan. Every day. It has been my goal every day for months. And I have beaten myself up so many of those days for making zero progress. ... I will focus on the action. Not the end product. Thank you so much thank you.
Actually, don't give up planning. You can restructure it Goals like earning million dollars per second are bad because as it's external outcomes, but finishing a course or a book that is exactly what you control. Focus on planning actions
Yea I had a goal to make 20k a month hustling, but I'm getting paralyzed trying to start. I'm realizing from Dr K that success IS the action. As long as I keep inching towards it with small actions I'm actually successful. it's only when we give in to the fear that we fail. And I truly want to be successful and financially free. I'm struggling on awareness, I feel like I am aware of my strong desire not to do hard work, but I don't know exactly how to use awareness to my advantage.
Dr K is my favorite UA-cam therapist! Disabled veteran with CPTSD. Although I am not a gamer, genx 😂, I have taken a lot from his podcast. Thank you Dr K and Mel for coming together and giving me a motivational Monday 💕
One of the best episodes ever. I learned so much from Dr. K about why trying to increase one's motivation is not the answer-- it's awareness, action, and detachment! And the revelation about competing motivations really blew me away and choked me up, too. Makes so much sense. Thanks, Mel, for bringing Dr. K. What a gem he is! And he's right, you ARE a great synthesizer. One of your many gifts . . xxx
I just wanted to express my gratitude for this amazing episode! I am in a season of my life, a very dark winter, where I feel like I have been stuck and to hear Dr. K’s take on what stuck really means has opened my eyes and inspired me greatly. Thank you Mel Robbins for doing this podcast. I am so grateful for your show!
Dr K - thank you!! this is life changing. live in the moment - be present in the action - detach from the outcome - focus on the action itself - simple and sound advice. thank you so much - i get it.
When I feel unmotivated or tired or not wanting to do something I MAKE time regardless of how I'm feeling, to listen to happy pump up music UNTIL it changes my mood. It really does work for ME ❤
Tried it and got addicted to music so now every hour my mind goes like I need music. And it's not effective especially when I have to maintain focus for long periods of time
Love, love, LOVE Dr. K, he is a true genius and he really found his calling in this. The fact that he includes spirituality in this is key to his success because we can't move forward in life as a society unless we dig deep into the human psyche and come up with actionable solutions to how to improve our experience on this planet. Like he said, we are being told what to think, who we are and what makes us happy but in order to function properly and be healthy we really need to address this elephant in the room rather than try to live with it. So many of us are miserable and depressed and we struggle to cope. Dr. K., with all his knowledge and expertise, forces us to confront the demons and helps us move forward day after day.
Y’all just blew my mind! My 2 favorite podcasters coming together on the topic that I struggle with the most! Feel like I won the lottery today. Seriously, there was an epic shift in my heart and brain while watching this episode. I took 3 pages of notes and plan to watch a few more times. Thank you 🙏 Thank you 🙏 Thank you 🙏
So do I. This is the first YT video that I saved. It is so good and full of wisdom and simple things that we should but don't notice about how we are slaves to our own mind and thoughts instead of controlling them. I watch 1 time; a second time; a third time taking notes; a fourth time elaborating on the notes.
Mel..this is one of your top 5 podcasts so far for me. You bring so much value to the world with your guests; this one was one of my favorites. Thank you.
"Willpower is {Conflict and the Ability to stay with it}" = CALM 57:30s Thanks Mel for the interpretation into easier for me to absorb, as I have listened to the saying from Dr K before but I was confused with the "Willpower is the Monitoring Conflict thing", i was keep thinking, that it does not make sense that we are always seeking conflict within ourselves to make willpower, because thats exactly conflict with what Dr K said in this video, we are running away from pain to another pain, BUT now i get it from Mel interpretation, CALM is the key, the final goal to achieve for consistency.
It's a headache and I need to stop the video multiple times to check my understanding and even write down things I may be missing, but she just gets all the ideas and even explains it in another way, which is so impressive.
You were getting choked up Dr. K gets choked up. I’m choked up every episode. I watch of your podcast… Mel, I’ve been watching your podcast since the beginning of 2024 used the tools you provided in your workbooks and listen to the podcast every morning when I walk my dogs… you and your guest speakers have really helped me move forward in so many aspects of my life and inspire me to draw closer to my true self and so from the bottom of my heart I thank you for all the love and effort you put in to this world, reaching people like me God bless you always XOXO Jenn L.
This is the most effective podcast I've ever listened too. I listened today and finally found my motivation to get to the gym and work out. I've been falling into all the traps of thinking long term, when all that matters is what I do now. Thank you guys I am practicing this skill from now on.
The Serenity Prayer is a simple, concise and valuable mantra I use to focus my awareness - Grant me the srenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can and Wisdom to know the difference.
Yay! Two of my favorite people in one place. I found you, Mel, first. And then Dr. K. a short while after, and you've both been very helpful in improving my life. Thank you both so much for what you do. I follow you both, and have gotten to interact with Dr. K on YT in the comments. Or at least somebody on his team. Keep doing what you do.
Whoa. I feel like I will need to revisit this over and over to take notes just to make sure ive properly comprehended this. What a magnetic and impactful discussion
You oversimplified it to the point of uselessness. Every person hears at sine point “stop thinking about what you want and JUST DO IT”. Guess how effective it is?
Thank you both!! Wow! All I can say is WOW ! As I was listening to this podcast I was looking around at all of the unfinished projects I started and it always amazes me when something is shared that makes you look at a situation from the other side! I got so much out of this.. thank you so much! Sharing this with my wife as we speak..
Mel, I love this so much! One of my favorite podcasts!! I’ve learned to turn a negative “conflict” into something more positive by attaching a pleasant activity to it. For example, I have a lengthy commute, so I save my podcasts for the drive. Suddenly I’m looking forward to the drive & it goes to quickly. I listen to my favorite tunes while doing yard chores, I put on a trashy tv show when folding laundry 🤣 It’s really helped!! I also reframed my thinking to “no such thing as a failure, only learning.” Now I’m excited to learn & grow every day. I’m no longer hard on myself because I can embrace whatever new knowledge or experience I’ve gained. Life changing!!
You know, this video helps me understand many of the "Why this works" behind a lot of the techniques and strategies that help motivation and willpower. For example: I always heard, understood, and experienced that breaking projects into smaller manageable chunks work, but I never really asked myself why it worked. I always just did it and would have moments of success and failures trying to implement the strategy. After listening to this, chunking is a technique that breaks a project up which allows us to focus on the actions that lead us to an outcome rather than the outcome itself. This helps change my perspective since I've always felt that chunking was supposed to mean breaking a large outcome/goal into smaller, more achievable outcomes/goals; when im fact it's breaking an outcome into the individual actions that we do to hopefully reach the outcome we are committed to. I've always understood that these type of techniques work, but I didn't know why; which is like knowing that there are rules while driving and following them, but not knowing why we should follow those rules. In the end we can still drive, but maybe not as efficient or as safe.
We don't control outcomes and also when we focus on outcomes and we don't get the outcome then the behavior does not get reinforced. So focus on the action. Abandon "Everyday", you don't experience every day you only experience current day. Focusing on actions - Anticipate the difficulty of the action that you want to take. Detachment - Divorcing yourself from the outcomes of your actions.
One hour just flew by! What a condense, passionate talk, it was full of content that touched deeply. I will try to remind myself of these takeaways from tomorrow onward. Hope my confidence and career can improve!
There have been so many people who have so positively influential in my life - Dr Jordan Peterson, Simon Sinek, Jim Rohn, and Dr. K being another of them!
Dr. K explanations are best when explainining to the real questions of Mel, she just represented what I wanted to ask and more. I've been watching you both on UA-cam for a while, and watching you together was mindblowing. Thank you for this conversation, it really touched my mind and my heart ❤
Mel, my friend! Your podcasts I’ve chosen to listen to this week are blowing my mind! THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart! Today, I decided to listen to this one. I started it just as I was starting out on my walk to try to improve my cardio fitness (which isn’t so good). In the past I’d feel defeated, failed, embarrassed….but I get it now. I see the blocks, the attachments I’ve made. I can see the light! My awareness and actions will be my focus. Even the gratitude at the end of the walk was so perfect. THANK YOU!!!!
Thats ultimate thing is written in Geeta given by Krishna in Mahabharata when you are conflicted about outcome in life and your brain is scared just meditate and remove that outcome thought from your mind. Its easier said than done but its all practice that yogis have been doing since centuries in Eastern Part of world. Just separate yourself from outcome and continue to do your Karma thats what life is all about. Just no matter what your mind feels or you feel or what your outside world is just do your Karma and everything will fall into place at right time. And you are what your karma is Hinduism speaks only about this core of our life and our time in Earth. No matter how you feel in the morning dont chase that dopamine hit of feeling good and sleeping in because you are already motivated to sleep because you brain feels good doing it. Dont chase that feel good or your wants because that will control your life. Instead you decide what you want and with time your brain will adapt to that level of want and your karma multiplies. You keep going that positive cycle as you do your karma every day. So infact there is nothing impossible its just that we have not earned enough karma to get that thing for now. This is the most basic principle of hinduism and sanatan dharma as it was known in ancient world its many aspects have been lost from the world because we are in kaliyuga now and things are different we chase more greed, and more of that feel goodness dopamine and not enough karma. It is supposed to be that way in this age people will forget god and chase more and more of that feel goodness and their karma will decrease but we all have that internal drive to continue so basic principle of life is to just continue doing what you have imagined in your head i want say want because you might not want it then you will be confused i dont want this why i am doing this. You might not want it but continue doing your karma without thinking about outcome then one day when your karma is reached then you will get it and you be flushed with happiness that will be much more than those little hits of dopamine you got every single day to delay your karma.
wow, this was one of the most healing and useful podcast episodes that I've listened to on UA-cam so far ❤ thank you so much for all the work you and your team have done
This was truly so helpful!! Going to listen again and again because I’m so totally over exhausted “ trying” to be motivated when I can’t even lift my legs to get up the hill to get to new housing apt for seniors! Wow!! Thank You 🙏 Thank You Mel and Dr. K! 😅❤
I'm blown away. There is so much to process right now. I feel relieved. Thank you so much! Eye-opening for sure. Great conversation, great minds. So much respect for you two. Gracias 🇦🇷
Thank you for pausing and summarizing the concepts with examples. This interview was truly eye opening. Sometimes people who talk about willpower and motivation sound so arrogant, this one was far from that . 👏
Thank you for this insightful video! I really appreciate the focus on taking action rather than obsessing over goals. It’s refreshing to be reminded that consistent action, regardless of how we feel, is what truly drives progress. Your approach has given me a new perspective on motivation-much appreciated!❤
Amazing Interview Mel! And Dr. K you are a dynamite explosion to the brain! Thank you! This won’t be the last time I listen to your words, your techniques and the insights on how we work! Gracias!
At 54:37 what we are ingnorant of is, the an underlying belief, everything is filtered through beliefs, I like that he talks about pausing, reflection, asking the questions helps us to find the beliefs. Once we recognize them, they can be gone. Same as a habit once you recognize it as a habit, it's no longer a habit it's a choice. Now we tend to beat ourselves up, through another belief that says I'm not good enough. Through awareness/ reflection and questioning, wait is that true? No, I don't believe that anymore, I am good enough, in fact I'm incredibly. Stop, reflect, become aware, oh this feels good. The ego was meant to build us up, not in an arrogant way, and it's been turned around to be used against us. From the programming of beliefs, you should ( which really means shit on you) be this way. Who decided THAT bs? Belief System is better? Ask and you shall receive 😅 ok that's my take on understanding the life game and how to play it. Much Love to all. PS. Let go of all the beliefs/ conditioned baggage and just start, know - ing / be - ing and do - ing. Stop the thinking! So much. Peace everyone.
Loving this info!!!! Especially during this time of the year, when many of us are focusing on improving our lives. Thank you, Dr. K. and Mel. I’m on my way to becoming a podcaster for Hispanic women, dreaming of having a conversation with both of you in the near future! 😍
I love your podcast, I learn something new everytime I listen to one of them. But this in special is my favorite. The Dr K said something different and unique! I never learned or listen about that topic and it's a blessing! He is so wise and this podcast helps a lot to understand the brain and figure out better our life! Thank you so much Dr K and Mel!
First time listener of your podcast. Must be honest the way you flow through your conversation made it feel like time flew by, absolute pleasure seeing someone engage with their guest. Subscribed in the first 10 mins!
Thank you so much!! This conversation is so encouraging, and helps me trust the process, and focus on one-foot-in-front-of-the-other action. (And ignore my brain’s penchant for negativity😅)
Thanks so much for vaidating my lived experience. I can't remember when I first began to know that I was aware and understood so much of the information revealed in your podcasts. I know it began in childhood and that I would shut down or keep these understandings to myself when I articulated these insights and was invalidated for doing so. Over the years my understanding increased regardless, but I also felt invalidated by others, especially supposed experts, when I expressed this information I had internally recognised. I began a journey of recovery six years ago which has definitely been challenging but also freeing. These podcasts reinforce my knowledge and let me know that it is ok to be and do as I know is right for me, regardless if and when others or society as a whole disagrees.
I am halfway through my second time watching this. I must say, this is very helpful. I have never seen your channel, but the back and forth with Dr. K was very eye-opening. Your interview style is amazing! HealthyGamerGG is awesome sauce! I'd love to see another collab. I'm very intrigued
Dr. K has just blown my fucking mind!! I have been searching answers and trying to ‘heal’ etc and become a better person when in reality I have just been stuck in this pendulum….. from the bottom of my heart, thank you……. Dr K has given me the tools and knowledge to save my self. ❤
I am so glad you speak about motivation as part of ourselves. As a 21 year teacher, who was a no longer working as one, we were taught that we were responsible of motivating students to enjoy learning and being in school. So parents blamed us for their children’s grades and said that we were not motivating kids in the classroom. But this was not true because some were “motivated” and got good grades and others didn’t. So education made a turn on “motivating” teachers so they could pass on their motivation towards kids. So if all parents could listen to this pod cast they can finally relief that huge responsibility from the teachers. Thank you so much!! 💪💪
I don't even believe what just happened to me while listening. I have actually been trying to go on morning walks everyday for a while now. I almost surprised myself this morning when I got a sudden feeling and decided I was going to do it while listening to this podcast. I got back literally at around the 58:30 mark. I walked in the door and wasn't even thinking about the positive outcome of what I'd just done or "sitting with the consequences" as Dr. K says not even a minute later. And then! THE TIMING?? Mel literally uses my exact situation with the "taking a walk" example. So they actually talked about EXACTLY what to do for me as if this were a personalized session! I'm shocked!
Wow😳 I am so happy to hear this. Mel, you are amazing on explaining for everyone to really understand and thank you from the bottom of my heart to you and Dr. K for this incredible and amazing podcast. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
37:18 i needed to hear that, because i would be demotivatingyself even before i start anything. I also had 4 years without alcohol. It wasn't yet addiction but i damn well was approaching it. I decided to quit myself, but last year i had relaps because of war, being alone refugee in another country...i needed to gear this not to devalue 4 years of success with couple of months of relapse
It's a wonderful podcast, I watched this episode twice, and I think I will watch it more, and take a break to deeply think about myself, and what do I really want. Thank you Mel , thank you Dr. K. Really really thank you!
Focus on today, not everyday. Mentally prepare for the difficulty. The laziness , the tiredness. The craves. " It's gonna suck, but it's what I'm doing".
Mel this was my favorite episode I’ve ever seen ❤Dr. K is so real, raw and relatable that I couldn’t help but say “yes” out loud during this entire podcast! I loved it and I need to love myself more and give myself a friggin break and recognize how much I’ve grown and become an amazing 48 year old kickass woman! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!! ❤️ 🥳🥳🥳
A great episode and I loved how Mel put it all together and asked the right questions to get simple answers throughout and mostly at the right end. You gave us all something. To think about and implement. Good Job!
Love both Mel and Dr K.! Happy to see people talking about motivational interviewing, though a bit concerned by the way it was explained. A big part of it is paying attention to a client's use of change language (i.e. language expressing a desire, ability, reason, need, or commitment to make changes) and nurturing this language. I was a bit confused by Dr. K's modelling of it, because as a practitioner you're supposed to avoid encouraging a client's ambivalence. In any case, I trust whatever he does is effective, but I'm not sure what he described is an accurate representation of MI.
Its like you got to find your inspiration then your motivation arises from nothing. You will always struggle but always try to find someone and fall in love and find your love and inspiration that tou want to nail it down thats the journey
Thank you so much for having us on your show again! And for being our partners in spreading AOE Healing on the internet. Hope y'all enjoy this episode as much as we enjoyed recording it 💚
Dr. K please start writing books FOR KIDS on these mind truths!! Would love to start building these truths in my kids
Just realized that beating myself up is within my control. I just thought it was my autopilot
@@alyssawelch3845 Thanks for your suggestion! For now, you can access mental health resources for all ages here: www.healthygamer.gg/products-services
Like Mel, I became emotional when I heard Dr. K’s last message. It hit a nerve. Thank you Mel and Dr. K
Appreciate your “motivation” to motivate- but your bedside manner is really lacking in compassion and authenticity- Your PR marketing people need to help you look and sound less rehearsed- your motivation seems to be about “convincing”, or “head games” - too controlling- and doesn’t seem you’re listening to Mel’s answers to your questions- you had what you wanted to say rehearsed, planned regardless of her answers- just saying “I’m hearing that…I feel like you’re …”: All leading questions that ironically are 100% in control of outcome- Dr.K’s Desired outcome of this interview for him self, his agenda … You tend to skip over actually explaining how to get “un-stuck” - By the way, awareness being the absolute firs stop to any personal growth is not new by any means. Last constructive criticism- Dr.K uses too many “buzzwords” and psychological? tactics perhaps? Frankly, this is a bit boring and recycled, very much already and vastly understood by many who are interested in they’re overall well being- it’s not “weird” or “new” - you’re simply saying or shall I say “selling” it to be. Too much marketing too little content.
My takeaways:
-Focus on action not outcome because when the mind is focused on action, the outcomes naturally improve; success is doing the thing.
-Be aware of when your mind is monitoring inner conflict instead of deciding to take action and being present with the action.
-Practice detachment: divorce yourself from the outcomes of your actions.
Thank you for sharing your takeaways, I just finished watching this and trying to take notes during it, and my brain is both blown away and melted. As in I know that was one of the most profound things I have heard in a very long time but I also didn’t really know what was the first thing I should focus on? If you know what I mean?
I have written your takeaways in my notebook and they will be a great starting place one my melted brain comes back into shape! 😂
@@nataliemarshall7158 I'm so happy you found them helpful! I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes it's difficult to prioritize when there are so many actions we can take.
Thank you for this!
@@nataliemarshall7158I did the same. It was a lot of info to take in. These takeaways are perfect!
@@sylviescopazzo2445 you're welcome! 😁
I’ve always hated running and think that I’m so bad at it. I’m miserable everytime I run and it feels like my whole body is screaming at me to stop. One day I learned that everyone feels this way. That avid runners and competitive runners also feel pretty miserable when they run. The difference is they learn to ignore that part of their brain telling them to stop. It’s still there they just push through. I’ve recently realized that I’m addicted to comfort. But in order to accomplish things I have to push through discomfort and all the things I’m afraid of to get what I want. And that everyone who is successful has to push through their discomfort too. So I tell myself now that I have to get comfortable being uncomfortable. And that being uncomfortable is going to be a regular part of my life now.
Thank you for describing me! 😮😮you've put vocabulary to my being. Thank you.
Reading your comment, i think you have still fallen in the trap that dr k is talking about . "In order to accomplish things" is just another goal.
@@timetraveller2818 quite true , but i honestly feel that it is stage 2 , because it is genuinely tough to let go of end result or long term goal , because i remember once he said "move towards the direction not a point/fixed spot" i.e "getting masters vs either getting masters from harvard or not getting masters from any university"
What if running is not your kinda sport? Did you try other ways to exercise? I love running and kick boxing but hate pilates. I have friends who love pilates and barre, but hate running and zumba and other intense cardio classes.
i think im a decent enough runner: these tips might help you!
when i run i try to see how far long i keep running with the discomfort. the longer i manage, the greater the achievement! the goal isnt to beat someone else’s time, its to push my own limits.
every minute i run with the discomfort is another minute beyond my limits! success! ofcourse, its important not to push yourself TOO far, but I think we learn where that line is with experience (and by pushing only a “little” further than our last run, instead of many times further).
but also, often, i try to not feel the discomfort instead of feeling it and “pushing” through it. i do this in a few ways: i repeat a mantra in my head (eg “i got this, i got this”, or “im feeling great” or “im doing great”). and i try to breath rythmically, with my steps. i breathe a certain way (i think its two quick inhales, and a long exhale, timed with my steps, whatver feels comfortable). i try not to slow down because for some reason that makes me more tired. the more you run the more tricks you find (through experimentation or research) to ignore or endure the pain. i also often try to ignore the time instead of looking at my watch very often because it can psychologically tire me to see how many more minutes are left haha, but it depends. sometimes looking helps. i try different things.
I cannot listen to Dr K enough.. Every single one of his interviews is so insightful... He got it so right when he says Western psychiatry is so lacking. He really possesses the X factor that most other doctors don't possess..
This episode is magic. I have been mentally stuck..... working on my business plan. Every day. It has been my goal every day for months. And I have beaten myself up so many of those days for making zero progress. ... I will focus on the action. Not the end product. Thank you so much thank you.
Same with me! 🙌
I notice when my back hurts, its time to stand up for myself in some sort of fashion 51:04
Actually, don't give up planning. You can restructure it
Goals like earning million dollars per second are bad because as it's external outcomes, but finishing a course or a book that is exactly what you control.
Focus on planning actions
Yea I had a goal to make 20k a month hustling, but I'm getting paralyzed trying to start. I'm realizing from Dr K that success IS the action. As long as I keep inching towards it with small actions I'm actually successful. it's only when we give in to the fear that we fail. And I truly want to be successful and financially free.
I'm struggling on awareness, I feel like I am aware of my strong desire not to do hard work, but I don't know exactly how to use awareness to my advantage.
How did it go?
Dr K is my favorite UA-cam therapist! Disabled veteran with CPTSD. Although I am not a gamer, genx 😂, I have taken a lot from his podcast. Thank you Dr K and Mel for coming together and giving me a motivational Monday 💕
Do you watch his channel? Would highly recommend it!
@@arshaddahlandefinitely recommend it. This man changed my life.
13:58 😂😂 exactly😂❤ he is so funny...listen to that Indian accent. I really loveit😂❤
It’s amazing how you’ve turned your experience into a podcast at 56!
Truly shows that it’s never too late to start something new.
Sometimes we use to thing we are not young enough or it's too late to archieve what we want and the point is we always should believe in ourself
Stunning episode
I thought you were going to say that she's too young to have as much wisdom as she does... But yeah 2 lessons in one there I guess...
One of the best episodes ever. I learned so much from Dr. K about why trying to increase one's motivation is not the answer-- it's awareness, action, and detachment! And the revelation about competing motivations really blew me away and choked me up, too. Makes so much sense. Thanks, Mel, for bringing Dr. K. What a gem he is! And he's right, you ARE a great synthesizer. One of your many gifts . . xxx
Perfect synapsis!❤
I feel like this is the best definition of acceptance.
I just wanted to express my gratitude for this amazing episode! I am in a season of my life, a very dark winter, where I feel like I have been stuck and to hear Dr. K’s take on what stuck really means has opened my eyes and inspired me greatly. Thank you Mel Robbins for doing this podcast. I am so grateful for your show!
Dr K - thank you!! this is life changing. live in the moment - be present in the action - detach from the outcome - focus on the action itself - simple and sound advice. thank you so much - i get it.
When I feel unmotivated or tired or not wanting to do something I MAKE time regardless of how I'm feeling, to listen to happy pump up music UNTIL it changes my mood. It really does work for ME ❤
For me its just putting the phone down and meditating in a dark room for 15 minutes. Works wonders and i feel better afterwards
Raise your hand if you have several Pump Up playlists, complete with fun names like “Hype Woman”?
Dopamine woo
Tried it and got addicted to music so now every hour my mind goes like I need music. And it's not effective especially when I have to maintain focus for long periods of time
Love, love, LOVE Dr. K, he is a true genius and he really found his calling in this. The fact that he includes spirituality in this is key to his success because we can't move forward in life as a society unless we dig deep into the human psyche and come up with actionable solutions to how to improve our experience on this planet. Like he said, we are being told what to think, who we are and what makes us happy but in order to function properly and be healthy we really need to address this elephant in the room rather than try to live with it.
So many of us are miserable and depressed and we struggle to cope. Dr. K., with all his knowledge and expertise, forces us to confront the demons and helps us move forward day after day.
Y’all just blew my mind! My 2 favorite podcasters coming together on the topic that I struggle with the most! Feel like I won the lottery today. Seriously, there was an epic shift in my heart and brain while watching this episode. I took 3 pages of notes and plan to watch a few more times. Thank you 🙏 Thank you 🙏 Thank you 🙏
Exactly 💯!!
Same here add huberman 3 favorite podcasters
Same!!
So do I. This is the first YT video that I saved. It is so good and full of wisdom and simple things that we should but don't notice about how we are slaves to our own mind and thoughts instead of controlling them. I watch 1 time; a second time; a third time taking notes; a fourth time elaborating on the notes.
Mel..this is one of your top 5 podcasts so far for me. You bring so much value to the world with your guests; this one was one of my favorites. Thank you.
"Willpower is {Conflict and the Ability to stay with it}" = CALM 57:30s
Thanks Mel for the interpretation into easier for me to absorb, as I have listened to the saying from Dr K before but I was confused with the "Willpower is the Monitoring Conflict thing", i was keep thinking, that it does not make sense that we are always seeking conflict within ourselves to make willpower, because thats exactly conflict with what Dr K said in this video, we are running away from pain to another pain, BUT now i get it from Mel interpretation, CALM is the key, the final goal to achieve for consistency.
"Your shortcomings are manufactured" Beautiful and empowering! Thanks to you both
what a beautiful human being Dr.K is
It's a headache and I need to stop the video multiple times to check my understanding and even write down things I may be missing, but she just gets all the ideas and even explains it in another way, which is so impressive.
One of my favorite episodes so far. Heard in a Tony Robbins talk once: People will do more to avoid pain than to achieve pleasure.
“Anticipate the negative thought so you can prepare for it”this is so true I do this all the time ! It definitely lessens the blow
I loafing down in self loathing and defeat, and this podcast just pulled me out of it. Thank you so much Mel and Dr K!
You were getting choked up Dr. K gets choked up. I’m choked up every episode. I watch of your podcast… Mel, I’ve been watching your podcast since the beginning of 2024 used the tools you provided in your workbooks and listen to the podcast every morning when I walk my dogs… you and your guest speakers have really helped me move forward in so many aspects of my life and inspire me to draw closer to my true self and so from the bottom of my heart I thank you for all the love and effort you put in to this world, reaching people like me God bless you always XOXO Jenn L.
Dr K is truly incredible, never have I heard anyone explain such a complex problem so clearly
What I love about your podcasts is that you ask questions that I would when I don't "get it".
This was THE most meaningful conversation that I have ever experienced. Dr K is brilliant! Mel thank you! I will watch it plenty more times !
Dr K really helps us to understand our thoughts and actions on why we procrastinate. Very useful and honest podcast. Thank you.
This is the most effective podcast I've ever listened too. I listened today and finally found my motivation to get to the gym and work out. I've been falling into all the traps of thinking long term, when all that matters is what I do now. Thank you guys I am practicing this skill from now on.
This is me... killing my own motivation for anything
When the student is ready the teacher shows up. Just what I needed to understand. Thank you Mel and Dr. K❤
Instead of one day at a time, it’s one action at a time…
Beautifully stated! Thank you for this!
Small wins should be as celebrated as larger ones. Can't get anywhere without those small wins.
Do the next right thing, action is the key, first things first, AA slogans are so true.
The Serenity Prayer is a simple, concise and valuable mantra I use to focus my awareness - Grant me the srenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can and Wisdom to know the difference.
I think this is the best podcast I have ever heard.
Agree 100% ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
This podcast changed my brain and finally got a lot concepts I’ve heard to finally click! Best podcast
Dr K is talking Gita. Thank you Dr K we study what to do in Gita ( focus on work [karm] not result [faal]) but nobody explain how
true
Yay! Two of my favorite people in one place. I found you, Mel, first. And then Dr. K. a short while after, and you've both been very helpful in improving my life. Thank you both so much for what you do. I follow you both, and have gotten to interact with Dr. K on YT in the comments. Or at least somebody on his team. Keep doing what you do.
These two are the collab I always wished for.
I love Dr K. He's straightforward. He gets the human condition. He's accepting and understanding. And he's very, very helpful.
Whoa. I feel like I will need to revisit this over and over to take notes just to make sure ive properly comprehended this. What a magnetic and impactful discussion
It basically boils down to what I told my sons growing up - 'it's got to be done'; there wasn't any decision as to whether it felt good or not.
You oversimplified it to the point of uselessness. Every person hears at sine point “stop thinking about what you want and JUST DO IT”. Guess how effective it is?
Just saying this doesn't get us to do the thing! If it did, this podcast wouldntve been created
Technology has changed everything in modern times.
Bullshit. You just force your kid to do it.
@@MusicOfVendetta
Thank you both!! Wow! All I can say is WOW ! As I was listening to this podcast I was looking around at all of the unfinished projects I started and it always amazes me when something is shared that makes you look at a situation from the other side! I got so much out of this.. thank you so much! Sharing this with my wife as we speak..
OMG!!! THISSS.. THISSSSSS THISSS Is what I needed to hear!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!!! you both are amazing!
Mel, I love this so much! One of my favorite podcasts!! I’ve learned to turn a negative “conflict” into something more positive by attaching a pleasant activity to it. For example, I have a lengthy commute, so I save my podcasts for the drive. Suddenly I’m looking forward to the drive & it goes to quickly. I listen to my favorite tunes while doing yard chores, I put on a trashy tv show when folding laundry 🤣 It’s really helped!! I also reframed my thinking to “no such thing as a failure, only learning.” Now I’m excited to learn & grow every day. I’m no longer hard on myself because I can embrace whatever new knowledge or experience I’ve gained. Life changing!!
You know, this video helps me understand many of the "Why this works" behind a lot of the techniques and strategies that help motivation and willpower.
For example: I always heard, understood, and experienced that breaking projects into smaller manageable chunks work, but I never really asked myself why it worked. I always just did it and would have moments of success and failures trying to implement the strategy. After listening to this, chunking is a technique that breaks a project up which allows us to focus on the actions that lead us to an outcome rather than the outcome itself. This helps change my perspective since I've always felt that chunking was supposed to mean breaking a large outcome/goal into smaller, more achievable outcomes/goals; when im fact it's breaking an outcome into the individual actions that we do to hopefully reach the outcome we are committed to.
I've always understood that these type of techniques work, but I didn't know why; which is like knowing that there are rules while driving and following them, but not knowing why we should follow those rules. In the end we can still drive, but maybe not as efficient or as safe.
We don't control outcomes and also when we focus on outcomes and we don't get the outcome then the behavior does not get reinforced. So focus on the action.
Abandon "Everyday", you don't experience every day you only experience current day.
Focusing on actions
- Anticipate the difficulty of the action that you want to take.
Detachment - Divorcing yourself from the outcomes of your actions.
As a newly diagnosed ADHD woman of 40, you have no idea how many years of therapy this equals for me! Thank you 2 both of you❤
One hour just flew by! What a condense, passionate talk, it was full of content that touched deeply. I will try to remind myself of these takeaways from tomorrow onward. Hope my confidence and career can improve!
This podcast was perhaps the best I listened to this whole year! Thank you🙏🔥
There have been so many people who have so positively influential in my life - Dr Jordan Peterson, Simon Sinek, Jim Rohn, and Dr. K being another of them!
Thanks!
Dr. K explanations are best when explainining to the real questions of Mel, she just represented what I wanted to ask and more. I've been watching you both on UA-cam for a while, and watching you together was mindblowing. Thank you for this conversation, it really touched my mind and my heart ❤
tears of compassion at the end well done Mel
Mel, my friend! Your podcasts I’ve chosen to listen to this week are blowing my mind! THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart! Today, I decided to listen to this one. I started it just as I was starting out on my walk to try to improve my cardio fitness (which isn’t so good). In the past I’d feel defeated, failed, embarrassed….but I get it now. I see the blocks, the attachments I’ve made. I can see the light! My awareness and actions will be my focus. Even the gratitude at the end of the walk was so perfect. THANK YOU!!!!
Thats ultimate thing is written in Geeta given by Krishna in Mahabharata when you are conflicted about outcome in life and your brain is scared just meditate and remove that outcome thought from your mind. Its easier said than done but its all practice that yogis have been doing since centuries in Eastern Part of world. Just separate yourself from outcome and continue to do your Karma thats what life is all about. Just no matter what your mind feels or you feel or what your outside world is just do your Karma and everything will fall into place at right time. And you are what your karma is Hinduism speaks only about this core of our life and our time in Earth. No matter how you feel in the morning dont chase that dopamine hit of feeling good and sleeping in because you are already motivated to sleep because you brain feels good doing it. Dont chase that feel good or your wants because that will control your life. Instead you decide what you want and with time your brain will adapt to that level of want and your karma multiplies. You keep going that positive cycle as you do your karma every day. So infact there is nothing impossible its just that we have not earned enough karma to get that thing for now. This is the most basic principle of hinduism and sanatan dharma as it was known in ancient world its many aspects have been lost from the world because we are in kaliyuga now and things are different we chase more greed, and more of that feel goodness dopamine and not enough karma. It is supposed to be that way in this age people will forget god and chase more and more of that feel goodness and their karma will decrease but we all have that internal drive to continue so basic principle of life is to just continue doing what you have imagined in your head i want say want because you might not want it then you will be confused i dont want this why i am doing this. You might not want it but continue doing your karma without thinking about outcome then one day when your karma is reached then you will get it and you be flushed with happiness that will be much more than those little hits of dopamine you got every single day to delay your karma.
wow, this was one of the most healing and useful podcast episodes that I've listened to on UA-cam so far ❤ thank you so much for all the work you and your team have done
This was truly so helpful!! Going to listen again and again because I’m so totally over exhausted “ trying” to be motivated when I can’t even lift my legs to get up the hill to get to new housing apt for seniors!
Wow!! Thank You 🙏 Thank You Mel and Dr. K! 😅❤
Thanks!
I'm blown away. There is so much to process right now. I feel relieved. Thank you so much! Eye-opening for sure. Great conversation, great minds. So much respect for you two. Gracias 🇦🇷
Thank you for pausing and summarizing the concepts with examples. This interview was truly eye opening. Sometimes people who talk about willpower and motivation sound so arrogant, this one was far from that . 👏
Thank you for this insightful video! I really appreciate the focus on taking action rather than obsessing over goals. It’s refreshing to be reminded that consistent action, regardless of how we feel, is what truly drives progress. Your approach has given me a new perspective on motivation-much appreciated!❤
Mel & Dr. K are two of my favourite psychology youtubers. Their dynamic is amazing and I hope to see more videos of them together!
Love Dr. K 💕
Teachings of the Gita distilled in simple language. 😇🙏🏽
Awareness, acceptance, action ❣️
Amazing Interview Mel! And Dr. K you are a dynamite explosion to the brain! Thank you! This won’t be the last time I listen to your words, your techniques and the insights on how we work! Gracias!
Loved it. Gotta bring him back on please. With even more situation-examples. You worked well together ❤
I love Dr. K. A couple of his videos on his platform have really helped me, as a middle aged woman!
At 54:37 what we are ingnorant of is, the an underlying belief, everything is filtered through beliefs, I like that he talks about pausing, reflection, asking the questions helps us to find the beliefs. Once we recognize them, they can be gone. Same as a habit once you recognize it as a habit, it's no longer a habit it's a choice. Now we tend to beat ourselves up, through another belief that says I'm not good enough. Through awareness/ reflection and questioning, wait is that true? No, I don't believe that anymore, I am good enough, in fact I'm incredibly. Stop, reflect, become aware, oh this feels good. The ego was meant to build us up, not in an arrogant way, and it's been turned around to be used against us. From the programming of beliefs, you should ( which really means shit on you) be this way. Who decided THAT bs? Belief System is better? Ask and you shall receive 😅 ok that's my take on understanding the life game and how to play it. Much Love to all. PS. Let go of all the beliefs/ conditioned baggage and just start, know - ing / be - ing and do - ing. Stop the thinking! So much. Peace everyone.
I discovered this amazing woman a couple years ago by fluke. I love her and listen to her regularly. ❤
Loving this info!!!! Especially during this time of the year, when many of us are focusing on improving our lives. Thank you, Dr. K. and Mel. I’m on my way to becoming a podcaster for Hispanic women, dreaming of having a conversation with both of you in the near future! 😍
I love your podcast, I learn something new everytime I listen to one of them.
But this in special is my favorite. The Dr K said something different and unique! I never learned or listen about that topic and it's a blessing! He is so wise and this podcast helps a lot to understand the brain and figure out better our life! Thank you so much Dr K and Mel!
First time listener of your podcast. Must be honest the way you flow through your conversation made it feel like time flew by, absolute pleasure seeing someone engage with their guest. Subscribed in the first 10 mins!
Thank you so much!! This conversation is so encouraging, and helps me trust the process, and focus on one-foot-in-front-of-the-other action. (And ignore my brain’s penchant for negativity😅)
Amazing podcast, I can see myself coming back to this when I start feeling lost in life.
i got goosebumps watching you guys! this is like a 1hr trial of Nirvana. Im just so enlightened! THANKS, BOTH OF YOU! such geniuses!
Thanks so much for vaidating my lived experience. I can't remember when I first began to know that I was aware and understood so much of the information revealed in your podcasts. I know it began in childhood and that I would shut down or keep these understandings to myself when I articulated these insights and was invalidated for doing so. Over the years my understanding increased regardless, but I also felt invalidated by others, especially supposed experts, when I expressed this information I had internally recognised. I began a journey of recovery six years ago which has definitely been challenging but also freeing. These podcasts reinforce my knowledge and let me know that it is ok to be and do as I know is right for me, regardless if and when others or society as a whole disagrees.
Thank you Mel and Thank you Dr. K.
This was so incredibly helpful!!! ❤
I like how Mel interacts with Doctor K. It gives me time to evaluate if I got the point of Doctro K right.
really love this episode! i love how passionate dr k was expressing
I am halfway through my second time watching this. I must say, this is very helpful. I have never seen your channel, but the back and forth with Dr. K was very eye-opening. Your interview style is amazing! HealthyGamerGG is awesome sauce! I'd love to see another collab. I'm very intrigued
We allow our brain to dictate what we do in life that’s absurd. Our brain is here to serve us🔥🔥🔥🔥
Dr K is truly inspiring.
Dr. K has just blown my fucking mind!!
I have been searching answers and trying to ‘heal’ etc and become a better person when in reality I have just been stuck in this pendulum….. from the bottom of my heart, thank you……. Dr K has given me the tools and knowledge to save my self. ❤
Excellent video, and thank you both very much for having this talk! It's something I work hard every day to remember and put into focus!
I am so glad you speak about motivation as part of ourselves. As a 21 year teacher, who was a no longer working as one, we were taught that we were responsible of motivating students to enjoy learning and being in school. So parents blamed us for their children’s grades and said that we were not motivating kids in the classroom. But this was not true because some were “motivated” and got good grades and others didn’t. So education made a turn on “motivating” teachers so they could pass on their motivation towards kids.
So if all parents could listen to this pod cast they can finally relief that huge responsibility from the teachers.
Thank you so much!! 💪💪
28:57 you just gave me chills doctor.
What a great video!!! Thanks Mel for bringing us this content.
I don't even believe what just happened to me while listening.
I have actually been trying to go on morning walks everyday for a while now. I almost surprised myself this morning when I got a sudden feeling and decided I was going to do it while listening to this podcast. I got back literally at around the 58:30 mark. I walked in the door and wasn't even thinking about the positive outcome of what I'd just done or "sitting with the consequences" as Dr. K says not even a minute later. And then! THE TIMING?? Mel literally uses my exact situation with the "taking a walk" example. So they actually talked about EXACTLY what to do for me as if this were a personalized session! I'm shocked!
Wow... never thought about motivation meaning something else is in control ... absolutely true
Wow😳 I am so happy to hear this. Mel, you are amazing on explaining for everyone to really understand and thank you from the bottom of my heart to you and Dr. K for this incredible and amazing podcast. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
37:18 i needed to hear that, because i would be demotivatingyself even before i start anything. I also had 4 years without alcohol. It wasn't yet addiction but i damn well was approaching it. I decided to quit myself, but last year i had relaps because of war, being alone refugee in another country...i needed to gear this not to devalue 4 years of success with couple of months of relapse
It's a wonderful podcast, I watched this episode twice, and I think I will watch it more, and take a break to deeply think about myself, and what do I really want. Thank you Mel , thank you Dr. K. Really really thank you!
Life Changing Conversation for me ❤
it shed light on the things i was trying to avoid to sit with , thanks dr k & mel robbins🙏
Focus on today, not everyday. Mentally prepare for the difficulty. The laziness , the tiredness. The craves. " It's gonna suck, but it's what I'm doing".
This is was literally me...
Thank you so much ❤
Truly a wonderful podcast,it was truly eye opening
I think 🤔 I’m sabotaging my future by avoiding the past pain and hurt
Me too!
Me too 😢 Not anymore ❤️🩹
I can relate
Look into therapy in a nutshell.. She has helpful videos.
❤Dr K is the best. Thank you for having him on this podcast!! I learned so much from Dr K for the past couple months and it is so life changing 🎉
Mel this was my favorite episode I’ve ever seen ❤Dr. K is so real, raw and relatable that I couldn’t help but say “yes” out loud during this entire podcast! I loved it and I need to love myself more and give myself a friggin break and recognize how much I’ve grown and become an amazing 48 year old kickass woman! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!! ❤️ 🥳🥳🥳
A great episode and I loved how Mel put it all together and asked the right questions to get simple answers throughout and mostly at the right end. You gave us all something. To think about and implement. Good Job!
Thank you very very very much.
That was the answer for the matters I’m struggling with for decades!
Love Dr. K and would love to see you two talk regularly ❤️
Love both Mel and Dr K.! Happy to see people talking about motivational interviewing, though a bit concerned by the way it was explained. A big part of it is paying attention to a client's use of change language (i.e. language expressing a desire, ability, reason, need, or commitment to make changes) and nurturing this language. I was a bit confused by Dr. K's modelling of it, because as a practitioner you're supposed to avoid encouraging a client's ambivalence. In any case, I trust whatever he does is effective, but I'm not sure what he described is an accurate representation of MI.
Its like you got to find your inspiration then your motivation arises from nothing. You will always struggle but always try to find someone and fall in love and find your love and inspiration that tou want to nail it down thats the journey