Instead of giving me space to grieve after my dad died, my mom and siblings treated me like a scapegoat and inconvenience. My dog had died a month prior. I still feel overwhelmed, and heartbroken by their disrespect.
relatable... what i thought were close family members, in my mother's house as she lay dying, couldn't be bothered to pick up a phone to call me so that i could speak with her while she was still able to form words... it's been a year and they believe they did nothing wrong, and that i'm the cause of 'tension' because i'd asked pointed/poignant questions about her palliative care, prescriptions and healthcare providers. they wouldn't even put my and my brother's name on her chart so we could (legally, due to hipaa) seek those answers ourselves.
This is exactly what is happening to me and my adult niece. We are being bullied by my mother and siblings (one is her father) for going on two years now. My last conversation with my narc mother was an abusive one where she hurled insults at me, calling me a “daddy’s girl” as if she was insulting me. This same daddy’s girl who only one week earlier fought to ensure she received her financial benefits from the husband she hated who died and left provisions for her.
My family picked my Father's death to unload me. They did me a great favor in hindsigh. Its HARSH as hell to live through but it is so much better without their lies in my life of truth.
omg, dealing with the same thing from the past 2 months. Was caregiving for parent's accident and exhausted. Had to put their 16 y.o. dog down. Then got home, exhausted. My dog suddenly passed. 2 weeks later my Dad passed. Its been an exhausting nightmare for me . . not them. Just found the term scapegoat and realized what is going on with my extended family, siblings etc. Crushing but now finding help.
It is so important it is to have a really good support group even just one or or two people who love you and have your back. The death of a loved one will bring out the best and absolutely worst in people.
Yep you’re right. My husband’s friend died and when he went to the visitation, all he could say later was that nobody talked to him. Someone walked by him and didn’t speak. And I’m thinking, wow. This wasn’t about you. But for him, it was about him.
So long as the death of someone else doesn't negatively impact a narc's situation they couldn't care less, they dont care because nobody but them matters or is actually real. When they get sick however, the world needs to stop.
My mom complained about the credit card bills my Dad left behind and the cost of the funeral . She left him for dead in his room for 3 days vomiting and never offered assistance. She never cried. She tortured him til the day he died and then came after me. She's 84 and still the same
@@laraparks7018 perhaps she is and always has been a Psychopath. Psychopaths kill that is why there are laws to protect. They have no laws for Narcissists. I am sad you suffered so much. Get an evaluation yourself so you can stay clear of bad people because you are or have been around them since childhood. Very few on UA-cam are good at this..get some therapy real Therapist for your hurts..It is hit or miss on UA-cam
@@laraparks7018 note Perhaps you should look into a law that can create a law to protect the innocent against Narcissist because you were hurt as a child..for your comfort some companies are giving Narcissistic Testing no matter how charming they can act they are screening them out of jobs
When I found out my father was dying, my wife yelled at me in front of our children because I had dared to look to see what kind of flights might be available before she got home from work. She screamed at me that I was blowing everything out of proportion and he wasn’t really dying. She said she was a nurse and knew more about these things than I did. 36 hours later, my father passed away as me and my children were making the 2 day drive to see him. My wife refused to come with us and refused to let me spend money on airline tickets. 1 1/2 years later, after lots more mental torment, I told her I was done and wanted a divorce. Her response was to file a bogus restraining order against me. Now I’m fighting that, and as a man it is an uphill battle. Never underestimate their ability to inflict pain and harm.
Thank you for sharing and Im sorry to hear that. To lose someone is never easy, and being in that situation takes a lot of strength to keep going....i salute you. Keep going, if you need help feel free to email me
I had a miscarriage and had to grieve the death of our baby by myself. Physically he was there, but mentally, emotionally and spiritually I was on my own.
the night before my papaws funeral the narcissist disappeared to go be with another woman It was absolutely the defining moment which allowed me to see him as he truly is... Nothing He is nothing and now he's nothing to me. I feel it was a blessing in disguise.
When my grandmother was dying I sent my BPD girlfriend a text saying I was holding her hand... and her reaction? She started arguing with me for not taking care of HER and was afraid that I would take care of my parents and not HER. I texted her that I wouldn't text her now. After the funeral, she apologized to me, so I forgave her. A year later she discarded me because I found out she lied to me and forgave her immediately but kept her waiting for a few hours. At first, she panicked that I wanted to leave her. Then she texted me that she wasn't feeling well and... ignored me. I was worried about her, and then she texted me "do you know what it's like when you don't answer me?" She started arguing with me that she didn't have my support... while my dog was dying and I was buying her gifts for Christmas... she asserted that I hadn't written her in even a week, a year ago... I came to see her, she didn't even talk to me, she just told me she had to protect herself and then called the police on me and wrote to me "I have the right not to be with you anymore, even for no reason, there's nothing you can do about it, sorry." No one even talked to me because I was the bad guy who neglected her... from one day to the next. They don't know what empathy and humility is. These people are just incredibly self-centered, paranoid, deeply insecure, mean and cruel..... :(
The most loving she could manage was to let you go. Im dealing w my first NPD. I cannot ever guess the shit she put you thru. It all started w a screwed up childhood but thats not on you. Unfortunately its not an illness its actually who they became to meet their emotion needs that loving parents provide. Looking back Im sure you know you dodged a life long bullet. You take care if you. Youll find find the exact person who can show you how unique and loving you are. Peace. Pete
My narcissist dister is keeping my 83 year old mom from coming to the hospital and wont let her in to see her dying son. This narc sister has also told mom shes not to come to her sons funeral. Moms health is fragile so shes staying at home trying live thru this tragedy with as little drama as possible. After the funeral mom will stand up to her narc daughter and deal with things then. So proud if my dear mom in North Carolina at 83 fighting hard against Narcisstic Abuse. The authorities for Elder abuse say the statute foes require the authority for elders to do anything for mom. How sad for all elders in North Carolina
Ex narc's wife died of cancer and the very next day he made an appointment at his bank cashed in the life assurance in order to pay off his mortgage. That he even confided that fact to me! Who could bring themselves to do that one day after their spouse dies? Yet he was inundated with offers of help after she died as they had a young daughter. He referred to the money to one of his other supplies as "a windfall".
I saw the narcissist ex husband go overboard over a dog’s death that I believe he killed. It was a total shit show. His brother, who I believe knows he’s a narc hung up on him in the middle of his narcissistic show.
It's absolute terror they cause. Try being told in a group text that you're a compulsive liar when your dad is dying. -try helping set up a memorial service the night before with family and then the day of, you're in the condo waiting for someone come and watch your sleeping son. My son woke up and I went down to see everyone and everyone was gone and all of the food was gone. -try having your younger brother physically attack you in front of your 3 year old child because "you're not grieving like they'd like to see." -try keeping up a 2 acre property and no one ever helping out. All they do is harass me.
They react by feeling entitled to a benefit and they are willing to do anything and everything .. except ... respect the deceased person's wishes ... to obtain whatever it is they feel entitled to.
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When death strikes from out of the blue, are they shocked in any capacity. Maybe they can't empathise what the person meant in their own life while they were alive, narc or not. 🙏
I always think about if I were to die I would put my mother on the no invite to my funeral list. Ik she would fake cry and act like the most caring mother when she never gave a shit about me
Same, she did that at my grandma's funeral and she didn't even like my grandma. I stayed away from her while she was hanging around my cousins and they looked at me like I was the problem.
My MIL died and my narc sister came to the wake. She started crying and left in tears. Later told my husband when his father died that she would not be at the funeral bc of the way I had treated her at the other wake. She made it about her while we were trying to greet 100 people. It was and still is unbelievable.
my covert narc spouse was not supportive of when I found out my friend passed and when my brother passed 2 years ago no support, and I recently lost my narc father, and I got no support from him on that either. When my brother passed from a drug od my spouse told me his exact words were well at least he found an easy way out no support whatsoever. My narc father didn't care when his son my brother passed instead, he brought up stuff from years ago and how my brother betrayed him I do not understand this thought process of the narcissist no compassion no empathy no understanding. My spouses father passed I didn't even see him cry or show any kind of emotion. It's beyond unreal to me.
I'm sorry that you had to endure pain on top of pain 🤦♀️...Narcissists are very heartless insensitive people💔..if they do show sympathy its only for outward show....((they're the Great pretender )))....im sorry to hear about your mom and your dad passing🙏Take Care🙏
I've seen that. When his dad died, it was nothing more than a major inconvenience to him, as we flew out of state to see him while he was on hospice. (We we're still married at that time. And I had to make all the travel arrangements, while he was at work playing around on Facebook in his cushy do-nothing office job as he always did. Ended up being out there for 2 weeks, 2000 miles from our state; and even though my ex had full bereavement paid time off, he seemed highly inconvenienced by all of it, spent most of the time avoiding all of us, and staring at his phone or the tv. All he could think about was, he wanted his dad's truck, wanted to get back him to our state, and get back to "business as usual", whatever that was. (Due to our history, I have my suspicions.) He showed a few small moments of fake bereavement or sorrow, but after 36 years with the man, I could tell it was just for show. Also, no emotion or empathy toward me when my own father died, relatively close in time to his. And no emotion or empathy toward me when my mom died years prior to those two, other than to proceed to yell hatefully at my distraught brother over the phone. My ex always disliked my family (hated is probably more accurate), and though I was off and on for years with my own family, we both knew that my family never liked or trusted HIM. I'm glad I'm divorced now, life has been more peaceful for me. Unfortunately, today I may see him at our daughter's in-laws' family funeral....he'll fee he has to "support" his kids, but I know how he feels about death and funerals. It's just a show for him. Ugh.
Maybe he had abusive parents and felt relieved. Everyone is not narcissistic. My mom was Paranoid Schizophrenic and I was relieved too she was not a narc or a bad person. These people on here with their Narcissistic lectures never have good solutions except for separation of loved or liked ones permanently. They are getting money from UA-cam. Note everyone can have a tiny bit of narcissism. Of course if you are being abused get out of relationship but you will never meet the perfect person. About everyone has 80 percent good and 20 percent bad❤be careful not to cut off someone who loves you who makes a few mistakes or may even be clinically depressed that has not developed their emotions.. these people are just hooking you so UA-cam will keep paying them however some may care but generally most of them snarl or are weird..find a real Therapist
I was at a funeral about a year ago and the mother of the the person who did play the person like " can',t ypu ser how I am suffering ' and her and her facial expression looked like a mess" Poor soul and it was all fake. Even a blind man with tomatoes on his eyes could see it. What a tormented soul.
I don't think a narcissist can be counselled successfully. They are like psychopaths they are probably hard wired that way. I always assume a narcissist only gets help as a way to get supply after all that's all they seem to care about. They probably use the sessions to learn how to better manipulate I would not be surprised
I had a Friend who was in my inner Circle...knew My Family & Some of my friends. I had lost someone close in my family & I thought for sure I had shown the right emotion during the Funeral,etc(I'm not a fan of seeing certain other family members cry-when they start...I start or at least everyone in the room does). So, I tried to be the more Mature one in the family. I didn't cry in front of those certain family members,etc. But, My Ex-Narssatic Friend thought through out that whole time...that I didn't do enough & were jealous of those other friends,etc who called & checked on me, wanted to go out lunch,etc. It took me 3 years after my loss I finally saw the REAL True colors & I called it quits. And, I still don't get in contact with my Ex-friend. They are the real reason why my inner circle of friends & friends In general are smaller,smaller by the day.
My dad died of cancer he was a narc and so is my mother. She complained to me about having to pay for replacing beding due to my dad's illness. She was cruel to me when I cried over him dying. Then wanted sympathy when saying she will die soon to (nothing is wrong with her). I thought to myself hopefully it's soon. These are sick evil people.
Dont let her narcissm think she doesnt love you shes a narcissist by trade doesnt change the love you should carry for her its just one of those things you have tobpush thru and remember hey thats just how they are and they may not know any better just love them and do what you can… not do everything. Juss do what you can… and keep loving them however you can
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My female narcassists father died, Never cried or even showed any emotion to it! Was asked not to go to his funeral even though I liked her father. I then when got discarded was told that I never wanted to even go to the funeral,🤣 Unemotional robot, I expected tears ,crying ,bluberring ,nothing unfeeling and you wouldn't of guessed her father had died. Really weird.
Are narcissist such horrible people that they would swear on their mom who passed that’s it’s not them behind the endless fake accounts and the harassment I’m receiving ?? I’ve had enough!!!
I had to be the one to call up my now ex narc who was away for work to deliver the news that his brothers 2 year old boy had died in what was a horrible drowning. After his initial disbelief he said "I guess I better go out there then otherwise I'll look like a c**t". That has always stuck with me even after 10 years. He then went to his brothers and spent the next 4 days being the loving and caring brother and being thanked for being so supportive. All just a show. I bet he milked his nephews death at his job for a long time.
When I lost my grandmother the narcissist the second day of my grief when I came over was really messed up on alcohol and such and throughout the whole day he just made it about himself when I kept trying to tell him I don't want to talk about him or our relationship or all the things that I was trying to keep it simple and talk about my grandmother that just passed and things of that nature you just kept getting more and more determined to talk about everything else that was making me upset and then he started to get agitated and aggressive he threw away a present I just made for his mother in the trash of my house and then he started to be loud and aggressive he told me the day about himself and the topic of conversation about his self and what he wants and what he needs and all this stupid s*** that he always talks about and totally disregarded me and what I needed
My narcissist brother Jason Lee Menapace Trinidad Colorado and his girlfriend Monica Elizabeth Groe murdered our mother on June 1, 2022 to steal her home and cash in a forged life insurance policy Forester Financial
Yes. They'll also say that they have a terminal illness. They'll say anything they need to to get what they want. I hope you're free of him and healing now.
He had guilt about what type of father he had been when our son passed. He broke down some. Also screamed at me later to eat the day of the death. I have never forgotten that. It was crazy. Our son didn't live near us. He escaped.
Everyone is not a narc..he may have been overreacting to being a poor Father and been abusive due to his own grief and shortcomings Not everyone who is imperfect is a narcissist
@@lindasharpe7039 I am sorry if this is for real and I wish the best for you. I just am tired of hearing everyone thinks 70 percent of the population are Narcs and people are lead so easily. I myself married a Mysogynist 14 years restraining orders and a Clinically Depressed man after who can mask a Narc. True many are mentally sick but most of these people on here offer no real solutions.,the way I see it. Yes anything abusive definitely get out. Get real professional help if you can afford
On June 1, 2022 my brother Jason Lee Menapace Trinidad Colorado got by with murdering our mother. He interacted with having everyone feel sorry for him
When i faced tge loss of my mom, first monent he saw me in tears, he pushed in away a bit and padded .y back, ok ok. Enough...stop. i tgrew hin out the front door. Tgree days later, i wastaki g tine off. I woke up and cried. Feeli g too fresh, my workd collapsed. He cones in after taking kids to school. What wrong???? During the funeral, he somehow felt he was left out. Elbowed me so the people cant shake his jand first.
What if the person dying is a Narcissist and has lied so much that they have people believing them? So everything is there child’s fault, how do you deal with that?
Authorities for elder abuse says the statute doesnt address Narcisstic abuse so Mom suffers alone. Police have tried to help but mom waiting till son dies for a hearing on the abuse. Mom suffering both death of son and hateful actions if controlling Narc daughter triangulating against 83 year old mom who wants a goodbye to her son. Lowest Ive sern a narc go thusfar
Can they use there social media like change there profile picture to gain sympathy from a death of a loved one also? During this time you couldn’t have any feelings and made it about the death or situation but yet he changed his social media profile picture to seem caring? Is that to gain attention and use narc supply to reach out possibly also.. make himself seem nurturing.. It was like that only mattered to him .. or use that as an excuse not to talk about feelings.. so using there social media could gain sympathy and like people reaching out
What if you're the empath not wanting to go to a narcissists funeral surrounded by narcissits? Should I let them ruin another day, week, and memory for me? Hospice was a shit show with family.. why put myself in harms way again?
You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Don't even take their phone calls because they will try to force you and guilt trip you to go. My family did that to my cousin but my uncle was extremely abusive. They forced him to go to his funeral.
question.....you cry your guts out for 2 weeks straight and then clinicly decide your wife is dealing with it harder than you and decide you have to be strong for them by finding ways to destract them from their grief. you are strong in the day , but at night you drink like there is no tomorrow, and wonder if .......anyone that has ever lost anyone knows what i mean by that...... i stopped crying and now all i feel is guilt because im not crying anymore. I feel a bit like im another of these self centered pricks...or this is a form of shell shock. listening.
I think my mom actually perpetuated radical shifts in my dads cancer ultimately betraying him for no reason to not honour his desire to safely die at home She was giving him sleep medicines when he should kid has been getting using his hospice palliative rather services fro Gerald even though she had her own nurses coming to house for 14 years z She lied avd told my brother I said o wanted to lull her ( she is in a wheel chair and she’s old iam 45 there is not a lot of cash or assets ?) anyway Tbe she has lit me and low my dads last year of life has been fawked woth his only ish betrayed and he wa my best friend iam dying in side men will be gone any minute. .
![“Do I go to parents funeral?” [obligation & guilt for the family scapegoat]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/OozzAawpelI/mqdefault.jpg)
Truth the narc uses the funeral for theatrics..... to display the manipulation skills
Instead of giving me space to grieve after my dad died, my mom and siblings treated me like a scapegoat and inconvenience. My dog had died a month prior. I still feel overwhelmed, and heartbroken by their disrespect.
relatable... what i thought were close family members, in my mother's house as she lay dying, couldn't be bothered to pick up a phone to call me so that i could speak with her while she was still able to form words... it's been a year and they believe they did nothing wrong, and that i'm the cause of 'tension' because i'd asked pointed/poignant questions about her palliative care, prescriptions and healthcare providers. they wouldn't even put my and my brother's name on her chart so we could (legally, due to hipaa) seek those answers ourselves.
Thanks for the warning
This is exactly what is happening to me and my adult niece. We are being bullied by my mother and siblings (one is her father) for going on two years now. My last conversation with my narc mother was an abusive one where she hurled insults at me, calling me a “daddy’s girl” as if she was insulting me. This same daddy’s girl who only one week earlier fought to ensure she received her financial benefits from the husband she hated who died and left provisions for her.
My family picked my Father's death to unload me. They did me a great favor in hindsigh.
Its HARSH as hell to live through but it is so much better without their lies in my life of truth.
omg, dealing with the same thing from the past 2 months. Was caregiving for parent's accident and exhausted. Had to put their 16 y.o. dog down. Then got home, exhausted. My dog suddenly passed. 2 weeks later my Dad passed. Its been an exhausting nightmare for me . . not them. Just found the term scapegoat and realized what is going on with my extended family, siblings etc. Crushing but now finding help.
When they cry they r crying for themselves and their lost supply not u or the person that died
It is so important it is to have a really good support group even just one or
or two people who love you and have your back. The death of a loved one will bring out the best and absolutely worst in people.
Yep you’re right. My husband’s friend died and when he went to the visitation, all he could say later was that nobody talked to him. Someone walked by him and didn’t speak. And I’m thinking, wow. This wasn’t about you. But for him, it was about him.
So long as the death of someone else doesn't negatively impact a narc's situation they couldn't care less, they dont care because nobody but them matters or is actually real. When they get sick however, the world needs to stop.
My mom complained about the credit card bills my Dad left behind and the cost of the funeral .
She left him for dead in his room for 3 days vomiting and never offered assistance.
She never cried.
She tortured him til the day he died and then came after me.
She's 84 and still the same
Not necessarily a Narc there are many mental illnesses..sorry you went through this
@@juliesellaro2794 ASP, UNTREATED narcissism is on a spectrum that is progressive ending in psychopathy ASP
@@laraparks7018 perhaps she is and always has been a Psychopath. Psychopaths kill that is why there are laws to protect. They have no laws for Narcissists. I am sad you suffered so much. Get an evaluation yourself so you can stay clear of bad people because you are or have been around them since childhood. Very few on UA-cam are good at this..get some therapy real Therapist for your hurts..It is hit or miss on UA-cam
@@laraparks7018 note Perhaps you should look into a law that can create a law to protect the innocent against Narcissist because you were hurt as a child..for your comfort some companies are giving Narcissistic Testing no matter how charming they can act they are screening them out of jobs
@@juliesellaro2794 Wow, for real?
I think they are triggered by death and think of it as they are being abandoned and so they rage.
When I found out my father was dying, my wife yelled at me in front of our children because I had dared to look to see what kind of flights might be available before she got home from work. She screamed at me that I was blowing everything out of proportion and he wasn’t really dying. She said she was a nurse and knew more about these things than I did. 36 hours later, my father passed away as me and my children were making the 2 day drive to see him. My wife refused to come with us and refused to let me spend money on airline tickets.
1 1/2 years later, after lots more mental torment, I told her I was done and wanted a divorce. Her response was to file a bogus restraining order against me. Now I’m fighting that, and as a man it is an uphill battle.
Never underestimate their ability to inflict pain and harm.
Thank you for sharing and Im sorry to hear that. To lose someone is never easy, and being in that situation takes a lot of strength to keep going....i salute you. Keep going, if you need help feel free to email me
I had a miscarriage and had to grieve the death of our baby by myself. Physically he was there, but mentally, emotionally and spiritually I was on my own.
the night before my papaws funeral the narcissist disappeared to go be with another woman It was absolutely the defining moment which allowed me to see him as he truly is... Nothing He is nothing and now he's nothing to me. I feel it was a blessing in disguise.
When my grandmother was dying I sent my BPD girlfriend a text saying I was holding her hand... and her reaction? She started arguing with me for not taking care of HER and was afraid that I would take care of my parents and not HER. I texted her that I wouldn't text her now. After the funeral, she apologized to me, so I forgave her.
A year later she discarded me because I found out she lied to me and forgave her immediately but kept her waiting for a few hours. At first, she panicked that I wanted to leave her. Then she texted me that she wasn't feeling well and... ignored me. I was worried about her, and then she texted me "do you know what it's like when you don't answer me?" She started arguing with me that she didn't have my support... while my dog was dying and I was buying her gifts for Christmas... she asserted that I hadn't written her in even a week, a year ago...
I came to see her, she didn't even talk to me, she just told me she had to protect herself and then called the police on me and wrote to me "I have the right not to be with you anymore, even for no reason, there's nothing you can do about it, sorry." No one even talked to me because I was the bad guy who neglected her... from one day to the next.
They don't know what empathy and humility is. These people are just incredibly self-centered, paranoid, deeply insecure, mean and cruel..... :(
The most loving she could manage was to let you go. Im dealing w my first NPD. I cannot ever guess the shit she put you thru. It all started w a screwed up childhood but thats not on you. Unfortunately its not an illness its actually who they became to meet their emotion needs that loving parents provide. Looking back Im sure you know you dodged a life long bullet. You take care if you. Youll find find the exact person who can show you how unique and loving you are. Peace. Pete
When my cousin died tragically aged 21, my auntie’s grief only months on was still raw and palpable. My narc mother couldn’t understand it!
My narcissist dister is keeping my 83 year old mom from coming to the hospital and wont let her in to see her dying son. This narc sister has also told mom shes not to come to her sons funeral. Moms health is fragile so shes staying at home trying live thru this tragedy with as little drama as possible. After the funeral mom will stand up to her narc daughter and deal with things then. So proud if my dear mom in North Carolina at 83 fighting hard against Narcisstic Abuse. The authorities for Elder abuse say the statute foes require the authority for elders to do anything for mom. How sad for all elders in North Carolina
Ex narc's wife died of cancer and the very next day he made an appointment at his bank cashed in the life assurance in order to pay off his mortgage. That he even confided that fact to me! Who could bring themselves to do that one day after their spouse dies? Yet he was inundated with offers of help after she died as they had a young daughter. He referred to the money to one of his other supplies as "a windfall".
I saw the narcissist ex husband go overboard over a dog’s death that I believe he killed. It was a total shit show. His brother, who I believe knows he’s a narc hung up on him in the middle of his narcissistic show.
It's absolute terror they cause. Try being told in a group text that you're a compulsive liar when your dad is dying.
-try helping set up a memorial service the night before with family and then the day of, you're in the condo waiting for someone come and watch your sleeping son. My son woke up and I went down to see everyone and everyone was gone and all of the food was gone.
-try having your younger brother physically attack you in front of your 3 year old child because "you're not grieving like they'd like to see."
-try keeping up a 2 acre property and no one ever helping out. All they do is harass me.
They react by feeling entitled to a benefit and they are willing to do anything and everything .. except ... respect the deceased person's wishes ... to obtain whatever it is they feel entitled to.
We're here to support you on your healing journey. Take the first step by joining our free masterclass, where you'll learn how to break free from toxic relationships and much more. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass
@@RawMotivations I prefer to continue my decades of studying my dark triad family for the benefit of others. :-)
When death strikes from out of the blue, are they shocked in any capacity.
Maybe they can't empathise what the person meant in their own life while they were alive, narc or not. 🙏
I always think about if I were to die I would put my mother on the no invite to my funeral list. Ik she would fake cry and act like the most caring mother when she never gave a shit about me
Same, she did that at my grandma's funeral and she didn't even like my grandma. I stayed away from her while she was hanging around my cousins and they looked at me like I was the problem.
My MIL died and my narc sister came to the wake. She started crying and left in tears. Later told my husband when his father died that she would not be at the funeral bc of the way I had treated her at the other wake. She made it about her while we were trying to greet 100 people. It was and still is unbelievable.
my covert narc spouse was not supportive of when I found out my friend passed and when my brother passed 2 years ago no support, and I recently lost my narc father, and I got no support from him on that either. When my brother passed from a drug od my spouse told me his exact words were well at least he found an easy way out no support whatsoever. My narc father didn't care when his son my brother passed instead, he brought up stuff from years ago and how my brother betrayed him I do not understand this thought process of the narcissist no compassion no empathy no understanding. My spouses father passed I didn't even see him cry or show any kind of emotion. It's beyond unreal to me.
My Husband showed no emotion when either of his parents passed away.
I'm sorry that you had to endure pain on top of pain 🤦♀️...Narcissists are very heartless insensitive people💔..if they do show sympathy its only for outward show....((they're the Great pretender )))....im sorry to hear about your mom and your dad passing🙏Take Care🙏
I've seen that. When his dad died, it was nothing more than a major inconvenience to him, as we flew out of state to see him while he was on hospice. (We we're still married at that time. And I had to make all the travel arrangements, while he was at work playing around on Facebook in his cushy do-nothing office job as he always did.
Ended up being out there for 2 weeks, 2000 miles from our state; and even though my ex had full bereavement paid time off, he seemed highly inconvenienced by all of it, spent most of the time avoiding all of us, and staring at his phone or the tv. All he could think about was, he wanted his dad's truck, wanted to get back him to our state, and get back to "business as usual", whatever that was. (Due to our history, I have my suspicions.) He showed a few small moments of fake bereavement or sorrow, but after 36 years with the man, I could tell it was just for show.
Also, no emotion or empathy toward me when my own father died, relatively close in time to his. And no emotion or empathy toward me when my mom died years prior to those two, other than to proceed to yell hatefully at my distraught brother over the phone. My ex always disliked my family (hated is probably more accurate), and though I was off and on for years with my own family, we both knew that my family never liked or trusted HIM.
I'm glad I'm divorced now, life has been more peaceful for me. Unfortunately, today I may see him at our daughter's in-laws' family funeral....he'll fee he has to "support" his kids, but I know how he feels about death and funerals. It's just a show for him. Ugh.
Maybe he had abusive parents and felt relieved. Everyone is not narcissistic. My mom was Paranoid Schizophrenic and I was relieved too she was not a narc or a bad person. These people on here with their Narcissistic lectures never have good solutions except for separation of loved or liked ones permanently. They are getting money from UA-cam. Note everyone can have a tiny bit of narcissism. Of course if you are being abused get out of relationship but you will never meet the perfect person. About everyone has 80 percent good and 20 percent bad❤be careful not to cut off someone who loves you who makes a few mistakes or may even be clinically depressed that has not developed their emotions.. these people are just hooking you so UA-cam will keep paying them however some may care but generally most of them snarl or are weird..find a real Therapist
I was at a funeral about a year ago and the mother of the the person who did play the person like " can',t ypu ser how I am suffering ' and her and her facial expression looked like a mess" Poor soul and it was all fake. Even a blind man with tomatoes on his eyes could see it. What a tormented soul.
I don't think a narcissist can be counselled successfully. They are like psychopaths they are probably hard wired that way. I always assume a narcissist only gets help as a way to get supply after all that's all they seem to care about. They probably use the sessions to learn how to better manipulate I would not be surprised
I had a Friend who was in my inner Circle...knew My Family & Some of my friends. I had lost someone close in my family & I thought for sure I had shown the right emotion during the Funeral,etc(I'm not a fan of seeing certain other family members cry-when they start...I start or at least everyone in the room does). So, I tried to be the more Mature one in the family. I didn't cry in front of those certain family members,etc.
But, My Ex-Narssatic Friend thought through out that whole time...that I didn't do enough & were jealous of those other friends,etc who called & checked on me, wanted to go out lunch,etc. It took me 3 years after my loss I finally saw the REAL True colors & I called it quits. And, I still don't get in contact with my Ex-friend. They are the real reason why my inner circle of friends & friends In general are smaller,smaller by the day.
My dad died of cancer he was a narc and so is my mother. She complained to me about having to pay for replacing beding due to my dad's illness. She was cruel to me when I cried over him dying. Then wanted sympathy when saying she will die soon to (nothing is wrong with her). I thought to myself hopefully it's soon. These are sick evil people.
Dont let her narcissm think she doesnt love you shes a narcissist by trade doesnt change the love you should carry for her its just one of those things you have tobpush thru and remember hey thats just how they are and they may not know any better just love them and do what you can… not do everything. Juss do what you can… and keep loving them however you can
Hard to love them who hurt u so much
Please don't listen to people who tell you how to feel about others. You have a right to not love someone and to remove yourself from toxic people.
I am so broken that I just don't want to be here anymore. I just want out.
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My female narcassists father died,
Never cried or even showed any emotion to it!
Was asked not to go to his funeral even though I liked her father.
I then when got discarded was told that I never wanted to even go to the funeral,🤣
Unemotional robot,
I expected tears ,crying ,bluberring ,nothing unfeeling and you wouldn't of guessed her father had died.
Really weird.
Are narcissist such horrible people that they would swear on their mom who passed that’s it’s not them behind the endless fake accounts and the harassment I’m receiving ?? I’ve had enough!!!
My brother Jason Lee Menapace murdered our mother on June 1, 2022 and got by with it
Yes
I had to be the one to call up my now ex narc who was away for work to deliver the news that his brothers 2 year old boy had died in what was a horrible drowning. After his initial disbelief he said "I guess I better go out there then otherwise I'll look like a c**t". That has always stuck with me even after 10 years. He then went to his brothers and spent the next 4 days being the loving and caring brother and being thanked for being so supportive. All just a show. I bet he milked his nephews death at his job for a long time.
When I lost my grandmother the narcissist the second day of my grief when I came over was really messed up on alcohol and such and throughout the whole day he just made it about himself when I kept trying to tell him I don't want to talk about him or our relationship or all the things that I was trying to keep it simple and talk about my grandmother that just passed and things of that nature you just kept getting more and more determined to talk about everything else that was making me upset and then he started to get agitated and aggressive he threw away a present I just made for his mother in the trash of my house and then he started to be loud and aggressive he told me the day about himself and the topic of conversation about his self and what he wants and what he needs and all this stupid s*** that he always talks about and totally disregarded me and what I needed
What happens when a narc is homicidal? Done while he was building up his image and ego. Will he feel remorse?
Will a narcissist make up a big lie and say his mom passed away? Man it sucks I question everything he tells me so not sure if it’s true
My narcissist brother Jason Lee Menapace Trinidad Colorado and his girlfriend Monica Elizabeth Groe murdered our mother on June 1, 2022 to steal her home and cash in a forged life insurance policy Forester Financial
Yes. They'll also say that they have a terminal illness. They'll say anything they need to to get what they want.
I hope you're free of him and healing now.
What about how a person with bpd? Are they like that also?
He had guilt about what type of father he had been when our son passed. He broke down some. Also screamed at me later to eat the day of the death. I have never forgotten that. It was crazy. Our son didn't live near us. He escaped.
Everyone is not a narc..he may have been overreacting to being a poor Father and been abusive due to his own grief and shortcomings Not everyone who is imperfect is a narcissist
@@juliesellaro2794 I know what I know. That's why I am now trying to escape the craziness.
@@lindasharpe7039 I am sorry if this is for real and I wish the best for you. I just am tired of hearing everyone thinks 70 percent of the population are Narcs and people are lead so easily. I myself married a Mysogynist 14 years restraining orders and a Clinically Depressed man after who can mask a Narc. True many are mentally sick but most of these people on here offer no real solutions.,the way I see it. Yes anything abusive definitely get out. Get real professional help if you can afford
On June 1, 2022 my brother Jason Lee Menapace Trinidad Colorado got by with murdering our mother. He interacted with having everyone feel sorry for him
Why don’t you just say you’re sorry and have your actions match your words? I am fucking healed from this..
I'm so happy that you found a way to heal. May I ask how you did it?
When i faced tge loss of my mom, first monent he saw me in tears, he pushed in away a bit and padded .y back, ok ok. Enough...stop. i tgrew hin out the front door. Tgree days later, i wastaki g tine off. I woke up and cried. Feeli g too fresh, my workd collapsed. He cones in after taking kids to school. What wrong????
During the funeral, he somehow felt he was left out. Elbowed me so the people cant shake his jand first.
What if the person dying is a Narcissist and has lied so much that they have people believing them? So everything is there child’s fault, how do you deal with that?
Same
Way. Boundaries and move
Forward
Authorities for elder abuse says the statute doesnt address Narcisstic abuse so Mom suffers alone. Police have tried to help but mom waiting till son dies for a hearing on the abuse. Mom suffering both death of son and hateful actions if controlling Narc daughter triangulating against 83 year old mom who wants a goodbye to her son. Lowest Ive sern a narc go thusfar
Can they use there social media like change there profile picture to gain sympathy from a death of a loved one also? During this time you couldn’t have any feelings and made it about the death or situation but yet he changed his social media profile picture to seem caring? Is that to gain attention and use narc supply to reach out possibly also.. make himself seem nurturing..
It was like that only mattered to him .. or use that as an excuse not to talk about feelings.. so using there social media could gain sympathy and like people reaching out
What if you're the empath not wanting to go to a narcissists funeral surrounded by narcissits? Should I let them ruin another day, week, and memory for me? Hospice was a shit show with family.. why put myself in harms way again?
I wouldn’t go at all
You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Don't even take their phone calls because they will try to force you and guilt trip you to go. My family did that to my cousin but my uncle was extremely abusive. They forced him to go to his funeral.
question.....you cry your guts out for 2 weeks straight and then clinicly decide your wife is dealing with it harder than you and decide you have to be strong for them by finding ways to destract them from their grief. you are strong in the day , but at night you drink like there is no tomorrow, and wonder if .......anyone that has ever lost anyone knows what i mean by that......
i stopped crying and now all i feel is guilt because im not crying anymore. I feel a bit like im another of these self centered pricks...or this is a form of shell shock. listening.
I think my mom actually perpetuated radical shifts in my dads cancer ultimately betraying him for no reason to not honour his desire to safely die at home
She was giving him sleep medicines when he should kid has been getting using his hospice palliative rather services fro Gerald even though she had her own nurses coming to house for 14 years z
She lied avd told my brother I said o wanted to lull her ( she is in a wheel chair and she’s old iam 45 there is not a lot of cash or assets ?) anyway
Tbe she has lit me and low my dads last year of life has been fawked woth his only ish betrayed and he wa my best friend iam dying in side men will be gone any minute. .
I Met my ex after my grandpa died he was Indifferent 😑 he was interested in sex my money and love bombing me .
To be honest every human is somewhat narcissistic based off the definition
I'm sorry but the way u explain thing sometimes on narcissist make me laugh cause I experienced all
hate to be that guy but narcissism has 4 syllables. if you have a channel dedicated to something you should pronounce it correctly.
Learn to pronounce the word “narcissism” -there are more than 2 syllables…