We Thought Hannah Was Pregnant | Our Infertility Story
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- Опубліковано 5 вер 2024
- Our entire infertility journey from start to finish (sort of).
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Minneapolis, MN 55416
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Shane Burcaw (he/him) is the author of several award-winning books about disability. He is the President of a nonprofit organization called Laughing At My Nightmare, and a renowned public speaker who has performed across the country at places such as Harvard University, The University of Florida, The University of Connecticut, Princeton University, and many more.
Hannah Burcaw (she/her) graduated from Carleton College, where she studied Sociology and Anthropology. She films and edits the “Squirmy and Grubs” vlog, which has over 1,000,000 subscribers on UA-cam. Hannah has spoken at prestigious universities and Fortune 500 companies alike about the realities of ableism. On her popular Instagram account, she advocates for acceptance of all people and works to improve the way society thinks about disability.
Shane and Hannah have been together for over seven years. They got married in September of 2020 in the midst of a global pandemic in their backyard, with their officiant conducting the ceremony via Zoom. Their interabled relationship often confuses people, because much of society still cannot fathom people with disabilities being involved in loving, intimate relationships. Anyone who watches these episodes will quickly see their relationship is just as “normal” as any other. Sure, Hannah helps Shane use the bathroom and brush his teeth, but those activities do not detract from the emotional, intellectual, and physical connection they experience together.
Can people stop commenting "dont worry, you will be pregnant soon" its insensitive
i swear its like some people didnt actually watch the video
@@piarateking8094right
It’s very rude to and it’s very unkind. It’s extremely insensitive and not only that it’s hurtful .
Agree 👍🏼
It is toxic positivity and it's usually trash
Whether you have children or not, will have no bearing on the impact you’ve both had while on this planet. You’re awesome. Thanks
Absolutely! They're amazing!
🤣
@@StoneStraiffwhat’s funny? go to hell.
4.5 year journey for my husband and I and it was very difficult. We are currently 31 weeks pregnant naturally after 3 failed medicated IUIs. It’s still unbelievable and I pray for all couples wanting to build a family. All of you deserve it and are worthy.
they will never be pregnant naturally letsbe realistic
@ree214 don't think she was implying that for them. Just sharing her story of her journey with them . ❤
Congrats mama! You got this ❤. Had my triple rainbow baby girl few months ago
🙌🏻✝️
As someone who rode this roller coaster for 12 years.. it takes a toll emotionally and financially. We adopted after 9 years TTC. We got spontaneously pregnant 1 year later but she was born too early to survive (20 weeks) and died shortly after birth. We got pregnant with our rainbow baby a few months before an IVF cycle after 12 years of trying.
There are lots of options to explore to be parents if you keep an open mind. Stay strong!
We had both male factor and female factor
Sorry for your loss ❤ Glad you Adopted and had Rainbow Baby
I think it depends on weight and what you eat and feelings as being happy all time or angry.
@@shawnmcgregor6878 - You have no idea. Stay out of it.
@@shawnmcgregor6878It’s way more complicated than weight and your mood!
@@shawnmcgregor6878no offense, but it is waaaayyy more complicated than that.
Y’all, they aren’t looking for advice or suggestions. They are two well educated adults that know how to research and have open discussions. With everything that they’ve shared, which they’re not required to do any of, they know their options and are looking into all of them.
Thank y’all for sharing your journey, it’s great getting to know a small piece of you.
The first sentence of your comment makes me totally love you ❤❤❤ you don’t know how rare it is for a man to get that.
Ok?? Maybe people should ignore them then…
Pretty sure their sharing for the money
@@saltandpepperandmint They share their story and their lives to help educate people, that doesn’t mean they are asking for feedback. Do you walk up to random strangers and give them advice?
@@ruthbryan-pz7qt They share to help educate people.
I think we are all sorry the treatments didn't work out. It's good you two talk openly about it all for those that really need to hear it, to know they are far from alone. Sooner or later you will decide on a new plan for you to have a family & you will be most excellent parents. You are well on your way to TWO MILLION subs, that's a lot of aunties & uncles!
Aww sweet comment ❤
Don't speak for us all
Why he can't in anyway help raise a child besides talking . He's in sense a child and has to be cared for more then even a baby does
@@xnj9206 maybe you shouldn't say negative things. The "supporters" will be all over you, and try to bash you left and right. Lol. Trust me, they keep doing it to me, just because I stated that I don't buy into this ridiculous attempt to appear to be a loving couple! 😁
@@417Theoryi agree with you! 🎉 there is something about the way hannah looks at shane that makes me uncomfortable! She almost looks like she is crazy obsessed super fan with mental issues.
"Remarkably fun." I love your sense of humor Shane. I pray that you both are blessed with a child soon.
hannah already has a baby, his name is shane. why get another one. just stick with the one you have hannah👍🏼
@@Jabroni2U Do something useful with the time you have on this earth.
@@poechristhemfitz pretty common sense to marry a complete invalid!! obscene
why dont you pray she has a son with a healthy man?
@@sebastianconstantin5176 there would be a lot of volunteers
My daughter, surrogate through IVF, gave birth to twins a few days ago, for her sister-in-law who has been trying for 16.5 yrs!! My daughter is a twin. Selfless act she gave ❤
Your daughter is so sweet to do that I know how great she is for your daughter and them babies will be taken good care of!
Those babies become his daughter's babies. It's not his sister-in-law's baby.
Surrogates are honestly angels on earth! I’ve had 7 failed transfer and now our sister in law has offered to surrogate which we have agreed to move forward with
I feel like this can get emotionally messy
Your humor and adult emotional health says so much. Keep on being friends and in love.
❤😊
she feels relief she didnt give her kid the worst genes in the world...
Thank you both for your candor in discussing this topic. I know you committed several years ago to sharing your personal lives with what has become literally an audience of millions, but it's still noteworthy that you're willing to discuss a sensitive topic like this - not in the abstract, but based on your actual experiences. There's so much junk out there on social media, so it's refreshing to see a mature, adult conversation about a difficult journey.
I love that you are willing to be open and honest about the journey whilst keeping your humour. I did 5 years of IVF in my 30’s that resulted in no children, it was beyond tough. It took everything I had to keep moving forward. In my 50’s now and still with my husband, we accepted that children were just not part of our journey and it’s okay. We have a great life!❤
I wish you all the best, I hope you make the right decisions for you as a couple and that you continue to be willing to share. The more knowledge is out there the better off we all are. IVF was almost a dirty word when I went through it in the late 90s. Most people have no idea of the immense physical and emotional toll it takes on both of you.
As a complete stranger I send you big virtual hugs. ❤
I’m sure some comments resonate with you and others don’t. I hope this one does. Yes, I’ve birthed 2 children and there is something mind blowing about birthing a child. I hope you are able to Hannah with all my heart. But please also know that being amazing parents has little to do with producing sperm to fertilize eggs. Once you are responsible for a baby (regardless of how they landed in your arms), the biology part is irrelevant! I hope this gives you some comfort and confidence!!
Beautifully said!!
@@heidia6270 Awe, thank you so much!!
❤❤❤yes
@@mommabierman ❤️
I birthed 2 and adopted one. The adoption process from Albertan Family Services was a long journey with many ups and downs, but adding our daughter to our family was so worth it. Yes, having biological ties to a child is very special, but 8 years into being adoptive parents and 17 years into being bio parents - I truly feel equally connected to all my children. There are so many infants, toddlers, and older children who would benefit from parents as loving and strong as Shane and Hannah.
I’m in awe of your honesty and ability to respect/support each other. Thank you for this post
It’s so eye-opening, when I see different perspectives, where a basic human activity is a privilege to some people. For example, I am a woman and I don’t want to be pregnant so I take all precautions and a birth control pill. In this case it’s not Hannah, but it’s still the basic principle of it all. We don’t realize how lucky we have it in this literal case, but just also in random every dayto day life. For example, just having a place to go to the bathroom to someone may be a privilege. Or, having eyesight to another, may be a privilege. I don’t take your life, and what you have for granted! Just food for thought 😊. I wish you the best Shane and Hannah, know this isn’t a drag on you I just thought I had an interesting idea and wanted to share with the World Wide Web. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.
That’s a really thoughtful comment. Thanks for sharing ❤️
Spot on
That is very true
We had our first child 12.5 yrs. after we met, after over a dozen miscarriages. Was told we had only 1 in a million chance of having a second one if we didn't do surgeries, etc. Five years after our daughter was born, our "1 in a million" son was born. So, sometimes things work out.
So sweet of him to jump in and acknowledge she was being modest saying the physical process was fine and saying she was a champion through it all :') 6:05
Hi there I'm Joseph. I'm a single Dad of Twin's... I watch y'all's episodes and sincerely have learned lots from both Shane and Hannah about emotional intelligence, which I believe I've had a lot of, but then I see y'all and I'm kinda blown away by how you both take life and the problems it throws our way...
Y'all are truly and inspiration to me and I just wanted to tell you both...
And, my ex and I (of 15 year's)had trouble having children ourselves... Just when we had given up, boom, twins, Allie and Noah who I pretty much live my life for now... That and to share Christ's message...
Love y'all both!
Respekt und viel Freude, Kraft und wundervolle Storys mit deiner kleinen Familie... Eine unvergessliche Zeit, Genieß es und erlebe viele Abenteuer 😊
It takes great courage for you both to be so open about your journey for a baby. Only those who have walked this road can fully understand. You are truely an amazing couple and you give such joy to others,
Thank you for sharing your story. I am donor conceived and a huge fan of IVF/IUI/etc. From what I know about our parasocial relationship, you two will be great parents no matter the circumstances❤
Edit: and for what it’s worth, I’m closer to my birth mother (the donor was an anonymous woman who donated her eggs for people like my mother for IVF, and I do not consider the donor to be my mother) than my father (who used his own sperm for IVF).
I love how you talk about it, that's so matter of fact, no judgement whatsoever, no guilt placing. Love you as a couple and wish you all the best!
I love the way you can discuss such hard areas in your lives with others. Your love for each other is amazing. My husband and I have been married for 61 years and I don’t think we could be as open as you two are.
Congratulations ❤
My partner and I had a similar experience where we believed I was pregnant. It was devastating and our journey has been rough. Thank you so much for sharing with people who may have needed to hear this
That you both managed to get through something so difficult as a team, comes as no surprise. You've been modeling a healthy, loving relationship online for a good while.
I'm so sorry you didn't get the outcome you'd hoped for. Thanks for sharing & for being vulnerable. I know it will help many people
My Heart goes out to you both, it took me 5 years to conceive so I understand the coaster you were on.. Then one day I told my Husband it's just going to be You & Me in this Life.. 2 months later I found out we were going to have a baby, we even got to the point of filling out adoption papers.. Good Luck, Keep Praying
Been on this journey 5 years now. Sometimes you do need a break to regroup so you don't lose yourself/each other. Always remember the love started with you two, no babies just you two! More time to love on each other in this waiting period. I hope you have babies however the universe brings them to you ❤
Bless you both for sharing your very personal and vulnerable journey. It will only strengthen your relationship moving forward, however this new phase of your lives unfolds. I'm sending you so much love xx
I’ve been praying for you over the years. God, please bless this worthy couple with the greatest of gifts… a pregnancy culminating with a beautiful, healthy baby!
👍🏼💯 ✝️🧎🏼
I love how open and comfortable you are sharing your story. It's a sensitive and personal experience to go through and you both discuss it with such compassion and grace. There's no doubt you've touched couples going through this. ❤
All the best for you🙏We are proud parents of 2 Girls due to ICSI. The treatment was tough but
never painful for me. I did have 0
complications during the pregnancies and births🙏I am very thankful.
Thank you, Shane and Hannah, for such a loving and honest telling of your story.
Hansa and Shane.. ty so much for sharing this heartbraking experience. YOU BOTH ROCK. Sending much love from Rio de Janeiro.. 💚💛🇧🇷 You don't owe us an explanation... it's your personal live. I respect it so much. LOVE Y'ALL 💚💛⚘️
I hate how you put all of us to shame with your amazing sense of humour and resilience. 😂 I definitely need to watch more of you guys. As someone who has gone through multiple IVF journeys I totally get where you are and know that it can break you. Your positivity is the best path through this!
I’m hoping you and Cole and Charisma can bond on this subject. I know they share in your journey themselves. I wish the best for both of you! My heart goes out to you. I can only imagine the frustration not to mention the emotional strain. Never give up! ❤️❤️
There is literally nothing I can say that will make this any better. I'm sorry you are going through this. I have seen secondhand how hard this process can be. My sister who tried on and off for 12 years and was told it was not in the cards for her just found out she is expecting and they have found a heartbeat!
Oh my gosh, congratulations to you and your family!! I am so happy for you guys! 🙌🥺😍❤️
🙌🏻✝️
I love how you both take every opportunity to demystify things and to vulnerably (and with humor), share your struggles and stories. I know so many couples probably feel less alone because of this video and can raise their hands and say “me too” 🙋♂️🙋♀️. The thing I loved the most was when Shane said that through the entire process, Hannah never made Shane feel less loved. Shane also told us how strong Hannah was throughout the whole laborious IVF process. I just makes me happy to see a couple that love and respect each other. ❤❤
My husband and I tried for 5 years and did 5 IUI cycles and finally got our baby. It is a lot of work and financially, emotionally, and physically draining!!! Wishing you both the best with your journey ❤
It was very generous of you both to make this video to encourage others.
Thank you for sharing your story, wishing your family all the best ❤
I love the way you two explain situations, I love your sense of humors and your ability to accept things. I'm not going to say I understand because I have no clue I will say I'm going to keep y'all in my prayers🙏❤️. Thank you for sharing your journey.
I’m just wildly impressed with the grace and positive attitude you both exhibit while telling this story
I wish we could see more real emotions and behavior. Not just always smiling and laughing. Because that's not life, not reality. Sometimes things are hard. And you can bet that they have been going through a very hard time. Lots of emotions. But they don't show that to us. It's like they only want to show one side of themselves. I think it would bring people closer, gain more fans if they were real and showed us reality
@@willwickey5365 Emotions can be displayed in different ways. It's not always "obvious". And as people who have chosen to share aspects of their lives on public platforms to educate and help others, Shane and Hannah have decided that this approach is what works best for them; some people will resonate with it, others won't.
What a nice comment.
Yes. It definitely takes a lot of grace and energy to educate, especially in a society where differences such as disabilities are seen as inferior. Speaking only for myself, I sometimes find putting on the positive attitude to accommodate others utterly exhausting. I'm sure that Shane and Hannah, like every human on the planet, have their not so great moments... It takes a certain kind of energy to do this kind of educational work and be in the eye of the public.
Shane! You never cease to amaze me with your humor! 😂
And Hannah, share in your uncomfortableness with the internal ultrasound! 😖
Lovely video, sending positive vibes
Im sorry guys. Im glad you both got through it together. ❤
Holding space for you guys❤ this road is a rocky one but one thing I found was a joyful part of it, was how much closer it brought me to my husband. I hope this is ringing true for you both also. Sending you oceans of love
You two are true inspirations. Funny, brilliant, and compassionate. ❤
Eggs don’t do as well being frozen or defrosted compared to when they are fertilised. They don’t know why but they just don’t survive the thawing process as well as an embryo. You would have much better chances with a fresh egg retrieval, if Shane can provide a decent sample on the day. It’s such a hard journey for a couple. I wish you the best of luck. It’s so good that you have kept your relationship solid. You two are definitely relationship goals.
I'm so sorry you had to go through this. If you haven't yet learned about this, but an option some are not aware of is embryo adoption. I.E. you adopt the fertilized eggs from a couple who have gone through IVF and have left-over ebroys which you can adopt and Hannah can carry.
My friend has done this! Funny enough, after they had the adopted embryo, they got naturally pregnant with twins after that! And then one more after 😂
@@brynbailey7132 That's fantastic!
Based on their videos I do think their goal was to have a child that was both of theirs biologically. This method wouldn't provide that. Is it an option that works for certain couples though? Absolutely. Will they change their minds and be open to a method like this? Also possible.
Adding to the chorus of support for you guys. My husband and I have been walking this path and it is HARD. Thank you for holding a light up to stories like ours. Wishing you a lovely "break" from all of this and best of luck on whatever next steps do or do not come :)
I’m so sorry the treatments weren’t successful this time. Thank you for being so candid and sharing your story with us all. Sending you both all the love 💕
Lovely to see you guys again, and it's lovely of you to sum up your experience so far for others. It takes a strong couple to be so united after these disappointments. Hope you are otherwise well. Also have missed seeing Liz for quite a while, hope she and all your parents are well.
I must say, your relationship is phenomenal. I love that you guys are able to go through so many challenges and difficulties while maintaining such a strong bond. I pray you’re able to become parents by whatever means you choose to proceed with. God knows there are so many couples in your same situation. Thank you for sharing such an incredibly personal and private message. Love your videos and watching you grow as a couple. May God bless you always
Such a difficult journey. Sending all positive thoughts your way. The way you told your story with love and compassion for one another is a tribute to your love for one another. I wish you all the best.
As a dad with three kids that were born through in vitro you have the perfect attitudes. And your drive is awesome. It's stressful for sure.
You are loving people.... to each other... caring towards others.. we need more people like you in this world. I'm glad you are taking time to process all this.. and knowing when you need a break. I hope the very best for you both, whatever that path ends up being.
I have been on your journey - in the 80's. It is a horrible roller coaster ride. Bless you both and I am sending good vibes your way as I have been all along! Found you during the pandemic. I have 2 wonderful children in their 30's but lost one to an amniocentesis (it broke my water, and all leaked out). I will be cheering you on and crying with you!!
Whatever you ultimately decided to do or not do next, I wish you all the happiness and peace in the world ❤
You guys are the champs❤❤❤ Sorry for the disappointments and sending you strength and love💙💙💙💙
Sending hugs, thank you for being so vulnerable about this💗
It's frustrating but if the embryo doesn't develop, it's usually for a reason/for the best. That doesn't mean things won't be right next time or there won't be other options which you can consider. Stay optimistic that things will work out for the best eventually. Many blessings to you on your life journey 🙏 ❤
Shane you kill me with your humor. Hoping for the best outcome.❤
Send you two lots of caring, supportive, kind thoughts!
You both show such a strong love. It’s not just a romantic love, this is the love of true friends. Whatever life now throws at you now, your love is so strong. You are an inspiration ❤
I love how you guys find happiness or at least humor in life's hardships.
You 2 are the sweetest. I love you so much and have been following your journey for years.
Hannah and Shane you have the most beautiful smiles. xx
This is off topic and I'm not sure if I'm the only one to notice, but Shane's speech seems to have improved so much over the years! Sending love.
You know you’ll get through it together!! Much Love ❤❤
The whole thing is just a scenario. Don t you get it?
I can imagine how you feel. I'm 53 years and unwanted childless to. Me and my husband threatment starts when I was 27 and we stopped when I was 38 years. People think so easy. I've heard: you must try better, you have to lose weight, why don 't you adopt a child? And when I said: I don 't want to adopt people said: oh, you wish for a child is not big enough... People have no idea that this kind of reactions hurts. And know I know: my life is without children more fullfilled than most of my Friends with children. You both are such an inspiration for many.
I’m so glad your stress over this hasn’t hampered your love for one another ❤️
During these challenging times, may you find solace in the embrace of loved ones and the warmth of cherished memories. Every struggle you face is a testament to your resilience, and every hurdle overcome brings you closer to brighter days ahead. May the support of those who care about you serve as a guiding light through the darkest of days, illuminating a path filled with hope, healing, and renewed strength. Remember, you are stronger than you know, and this too shall pass. Wishing you peace, comfort, and the courage to keep moving forward. ❤
Thank you for sharing your story. Such a beautiful couple. Sending ❤ to you both. You are adorable in how positive you are. Love your attitude and energy.
it is what it is, don't beat yourselves up, you guys are a great couple and you have more time to just try. Just watching you love one another is beautiful.
Sending lots of love and prayers. Thank you for sharing your story. It will happen when you least expect it ❤
You are both such kind people. It's unbelievably sad the things people say in the comments. They must not know what love is. I'm so sorry. I'm shocked people are so hateful. Please spread peace and love people.
Much love and respect for you both! And much luck to whatever journey you both choose is best for you! ❤❤😊
I think the thing is never to give up. Take a break when u have to. Then go back to trying if that’s what u want.
Positive thoughts for you both on whatever journey you end up on. ❤
You are such an inspiration of strength and love. Sharing your life experiences makes such an impact on others and truly helps them not feel so alone. I hope you realize that your compassion and openness makes this world a better place!! Hugs to you both, I know it is heartbreaking. Praying God reveals His plans for you because I know you have so much love to share!!!
Thank you for sharing and being so vulnerable…. I hope and pray it comes for you soon.
What you said about it feeling like a "Roller coaster of hope and devastation....huge process, tons of money....then you get a call that it didn't work, and then you're just done....6 months go by and you're thinking, was that even real? We stepped out of our lives and just did a separate life." That is it exactly. I did 3 rounds of IVF that failed. What y'all said is exactly how I'd express what it was like for me and my husband.
You both are so precious ❤
Thank you two for your honesty and courage to share such a personal experience. Your integrity over the years is one of your greatest characteristics. Best wishes!
If every disabled person gets a lucky caring supportive wife like hanna.the world will become a better place to live shane is the luckiest guy in the planet long live hannah
shane could have been honorable and married someone who is handicapped like he is. it is selfish to have someone who is totally healthy,live just to cater to your every need
We tried for ten years, got pregnant and lost it. After 20 years I ended up having a hysterectomy and never got pregnant after lots of money and lots of treatments. 5 years ago we got a call to take in a 8 year old boy and he is 13 now and still with us. Although I would love to have a babu I feel like God had a plan for us to raise this kid. Still hurts sometimes knowing I failed though.
Don't lose hope. Thinking of you both - you will make fantastic parents when the time comes💌
Please make more podcasts. I love them. I listen to them while I drive.❤
Thanks for sharing your story, I’m sure putting it on the internet is another step in that reality. I’m glad you touched on how you felt toward each other, about there not being resentment. ❤
I appreciate your thoughtfulness ❤
Such a true love story. God bless you both!❣️
May is our FET month - 1st round of IVF. The shots, including Progesterone, isn't bad. The worst part has absolutely been the emotions of it all. We only have 1 embryo so we'll see! I wish you both the best for whatever decision you make!
Excited for this update! ❤ praying for y’all 🙏🏻
My husband and I are in the same spot. Ready to give up. 6th attempt is Friday and if it doesn't work he's out. My hearts go out to you. 😊
Sending you all the baby dust!!! Good luck!!!❤
Praying for success for you both 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
I appreciate you both for sharing you story with such honesty. I wish you all the best in your ongoing journey.
Wishing you success in your endeavors. You're an awesome, hard working couple and deserve it..
I appreciate this video very much. I've been wondering how it all worked out. The important thing is you came through it still in love. Your love is so beautiful and you would be awesome parents. Thank you for sharing your love with us. It is refreshing to see that real love exists in this world. Hope to see you soon.
Hey both, I am sending you lots of love. Thank you. Stay positive and stay lush. - God will continue to provide a lamp to light up your path ❤ 🕯️ Stay wholesome and enjoy each other forever. 🇬🇧
You are already a complete family. Sending love.
Thank you for your openness ❤
Love y’all! Hope you film forever. How well you get along & are there for each other. So happy whatever happiness you can find. Best & love to you! 🥰😍
Isn't using Shane's sperm risky? My understanding is that the baby can be born with the same challenges.
She can use mine
Your understanding is limited I’m afraid, do more research cus that’s not how it works
@@LynnieTheAnimeKing Obviously. Thats why Im asking. Have you done research on this?
@@LynnieTheAnimeKingI mean if it's a gene it's very possible for their child or even later on generations have a possibility if they COULD have a kid. Haven't watched the full vid nor have I ever watched these people so I wouldn't know
@LynnieTheAnimeKing his sperm is weak that's why he can't have kids even if he can produce as litterally as 15 the quality of his sperm is weak and tainted from his disability
Love you guys. Awesome background btw. If you do continue towards parenthood, you know it’ll be great for those sprogs. Imagine having you both as parents… what lucky child/ren ♥️🤟