I was sexually abused as a little girl by a distant family member. I have carried such guilt with me all of my life. One thing I have never unerstood is WHY are the victims shamed? Why .. when they expose the predator .. are THEY then shunned by the family? It is beyond barbaric.
Sadly my take on it is those types had no business being parents or having children around in the 1st place. When faced with that truth they see it as a reflection of their own failures and most refuse to be accountable for the things they did wrong. So they double down and victim blame when they know deep in their hearts they are scum that failed the person in question who was abused.
It’s always easier to shame the victim it’s easier to hush them up because most times they are younger and if everyone else is older they’ll just believe the older ones 💔💔… it’s extremely sad that it’s STILL happening
Not everyone believes them too. Parents would never want to believe that one of their children could hurt their other child in that way. An instinctive response for many is disbelief rather than support.
its all about family honor, reputation. they see being a victim as a part of life. perfect families are a myth especially religious ones. all they have are skeletons in their closets. seeing most people as caring is naive. people are judgmental. you don't want to be in a group where one of you is capable of making all of you look bad. bringing it up for public investigation can last many, many years and give your family a bad name. WE ALL get hurt. you getting hurt is not EVERYONE else's problem.
I think that because it's usually the victim who wants things to stop and speaks out, rather than the abuser who confesses and wants to be stopped, people tend to over-associate the crime with the victim. They hear about the crime, see the face of the victim attached to it, where often the identity of the abuser will be more absent or more illusive. Because the abuser is not on the scene or is in denial and its the victim who is insisting and complaining, unfortunately its very easy for uncompassionate people who don't want to deal with abuse situations to dump all the fault and guilt onto the person who made them aware of it, rather than put themselves through the difficult and harrowing task of confronting the abuser. The victim has deprived the of their blissful ignorance and now they have something ugly to contend with. This reaction is something that can apply generally to all forms of sex abuse and other forms of abuse, but with siblings, sadly, favoritism also rears its ugly head. :/
This happened in my mom’s family. The oldest brother abused all three of his younger sisters. We don’t know about the brothers. When my aunt brought this to light when she was forty all of the anger was turned on her. Now that they’re all around their 70s they act like they’re in denial (six siblings). I always was creeped out by this uncle. Grateful that he never had children of his own though he did find a woman desperate enough to marry him.
I will NEVER be able to even ATTEMPT to wrap my brain around the amount of COURAGE needed to shed light on this kind of TRAUMA. These individuals are > survivors. They are VICTORS. 🦋❤️🦋
65 and this happened to me by a older brother, he would beat me until I would just give in to his sickness, mom knew and did nothing to protect me, I had no where to go and be safe as a child,. Now at 65 I'm mad as hell because I feel like I was cheated out of life, I have live a life in fear because of the rape's and brutal beatings
I am so very sorry, no child should feel fearful in their own home and every child should feel protected. It is understandable that you are now feeling the anger and loss of your childhood, there is a huge grieving process involved with abuse. Thank you for courage and bravery speaking out.
my daughter told me that her cousin, my nephew was molesting her from age 10 to 18. if she hadn't joined the navy it probably wouldn't have stopped.. I had no idea.. none of us knew.. she was left with ptsd and night terrors.. she did therapy for 4 years. that's the only reason she was able to tell us. she didn't want to press charges and relive it. my family however wants me to get over it. my mom thinks oh he was kid too when it started so ..I should move on. he knew it was wrong. we moved 11hours away. I can't forgive my family for for forgiving him. my kids my husband are more important than them.
Thank you for believing your daughter confronting and moving away. Forgive them but, don't forget. They are each others problem now. You and your small family are brave.
@@615BlackBarbie forgiveness is NOT necessary to move forward. You don't have to forgive the unforgivable. We feel safe and happy where we are now. I don't expect a stranger to understand.. after all you don't know the whole story. And I don't have enough words to express or explain it..
OMFG. I've been quiet about this for over 20 years. But this is the first time I've seen a video on it, and reading the title hit me like a sack of bricks and knocked the wind out of me. I haven't even watched it yet, but dear God, I feel validated after so fucking long.
okay. here is the other side of this spectrum. In my story, I was the older sibling who did things to the youngers, despite always being painted as a sexual predator and perpetrator by my parents, i was actually a victim myself, the thing about this is it’s a cycle, i unknowingly passed this on to my siblings (i was less than 8 years old at the time) and really did not know what i was doing, just what i was showed by the older girls who groomed me using pornography and other tactics. i have a lot of guilt for what i put my siblings through, i feel horrible that i gave them something they will have to heal from. i am an adult now and two of my siblings are nearing adulthood. we have had open conversations about it where i completely validate their experience and also share mine to give us both a deeper understanding. To this very day i HATE pornography for many many reasons, but mostly because that is where my sexual abuse started, it changed the way my brain functioned from a young age, i didn’t know what i was really looking at but i know it made me feel things i wasn’t ready to handle. i was a “difficult” teen if you talk to my parents, promiscuous, sneaky, dishonest, they sent me to a treatment camp and always painted me as this monster, when really deep down i was just a hurting little girl who didn’t know what to do with herself. most people will never understand and i hope they never have to go through the same things or watch their children go thru the same things. So to anyone who was a victim that continued the cycle, and grew up to break it and better yourself and be able to help others, I See You. Sending so much love.
Thank you for sharing this from a place of your deepest honestly. Your perspective and experiences are valid. People need to see things from a bigger picture before casting stones...
Thank you for sharing, as I was reading all the respones, I thought of what you said and even before I read your message I was thinking the same thing. I appreciate you and saying this, because it is not just one person involved but several. Hugs Eve you are ok and brave to speak out. ❤
Thank you for sharing 💕 I myself don’t see you as a predator. Children unfortunately do things that will impact their lives and the lives of others. I myself was abused by my older brother. Then found myself in that horrible situation with my own 2 kids. My son was abusing my daughter. I had the police involved and did everything to stop it the moment I discovered it. Treatment programs, therapy and more. However I now about 16 yrs later still feel horrible for the choice I made to report it. As it ruined my family, and my kids relationship. My son has lived full of guilt and shame since 15 when it was discovered. My daughter feels guilt and shame for ruining our family and his life. He has never reoffended or shown any predatory behaviours. He has lived a life of constant suicidal behaviours. So has my daughter. She had to grieve the loss of her big brother. I often with I just stopped it and dealt with it on my own. I was abused by my older brother and have had a decent relationship with him. Having been in 3 positions regarding sibling abuse has given me insight from all angles. Having to advocate for both the victim and perpetrator as a parent was very hard. Unfortunately our society doesn’t have the tools to help families heal properly from this.
My older brother spent many years abusing me. When my parents found out, I was the one who got kicked out 🙃 it still affects me in some ways, but EMDR, therapy, and medication have helped
I completely understand. My brother was 7 years older than me and he beat the crap out of me for years. It didn't stop till my dad made him leave home at the age of 19. I told my parents during my childhood that he was hurting me. I was told to shut up and deal with it. There was a lot of abuse in my house to most of the children. It's hard to trust other people when someone grows up this way. I hope you have found some peace in your life. For me waking up in the morning and trying to go to sleep at night is the most difficult time of day.
@@Lakirk2023 people trust far too quickly and blindly. keep them at arms length, like, for years. by that time, if they are worth your time, they will have stuck around.
I wonder why this seems to be a common occurrence in these situations? Either the parent(s) turn their backs on the victim or choose not to talk about it so they don't mess up the family dynamics. Is it possible that in these situations one of the parents was abusing the child who was abusing the sibling? And was able to manipulate the situation even more? Do I make any sense, I hope?
My evil brother amputated the tip of my middle finger of my right hand in a smashing incident that looked a little like an accident when I was only 8 or 9 years old and he was a teenager. The timing of the incident went through my head over and over again. I couldn't figure out why it turned out so bad. I guess later I realized evil existed and I started to see it more places. I hypothized that he smashed my fingers on purpose and then the timing finally made sense. I was just learning to play the recorder and really liked it. To this day I cannot finger such an instrument. When I was teenager he just lied a lot which caused all kinds of problems in my life, especially love life and economic life. There are all kinds of abuse.
I told my mom at the time, she told me " a real woman knows how to control a man " 30 years later I confronted my brother and family and was excommunicated because I would not retract and apologize because I waited too long
A “real” mother and family would love you unconditionally. They would support your decision to come forth and recognize your TRAUMA. You don’t need affirmation, nor validation from a stranger, but here is a little love, understanding, and support. 🦋❤️🦋
Your mom saying that is the very definition of internalized misogyny. Blaming the female child for not handling the man right. I’m so sorry. Thank you for sharing with us. I hope you have a support system. ❤
@@beckykazeks6827 people in Sandra's shoes may reconcile some day with that parent/mother. they may also become alarmed when someone criticizes that parent [as you just did] and that will push them back into silence. in the future, do not criticize the parent but rather offer your support for the child/victim.
I was 9 years old and sexually abused by my brother who’s 4 years older. I suppressed the memory for 16 years and when it came out, my narcissistic “mother” and my enabling father, down played it, like it’s the usual thing that happens. When I decided to cut my brother from my life due to him not every totally owning what he did to me, I was the “one who broke up the family” I was also told by my “mum” to “get a fucking life and get over it” I have done a lot of work and still doing work on healing! I know it’s not my fault and how my “family” has responded is not ok but I don’t focus my energy on that anymore, I see my dad very little and cut both my “mum” and brother from my life due to them being so toxic. 😥
Unbelievable how the concept of lust and just him not being to control himself destroys families and lives, how can he even look at himself in the mirror, he ain’t no man.
I am hearing you. There is not reasonable reason why you have to have anything to do wih them. I have cut off all of my family except my youngest sister. I found .... I was led to others by God who have become my family and am truly grateful for them. A few have been through the same. It is not suitable or sustainable to carry on with the abusive persons. Some can. Exceptions to the rule ay. However for most it isn't good for our mental health. I was very very young when it began and I wasn't the 1st. It was in my 12th year it stopped. 61 now. Many issues throughout my life. My children were abuse by my nephews. Son's of my abusers. It is the best solution to speak up and get it out there to everyone. Everyone needs to know. Shine a huge day light spot light on it. Stand strong we are not alone .
Thank you for sharing this Zoe. I don’t know how to say this but I relate with u in every form. I still haven’t opened up with my family about that because Ik they would never trust me. They believes in patriarchal society. They can give up they’re girl to save their boy. I’m typing this with shaky hands that even yesterday I’ve gone through this again.
i didn’t realize this being committed by siblings was MORE common than anyone else. i’m so sorry to any and everyone who has been abused and i thank everyone in this video for shedding light on this. i had no clue it was this pervasive and it will definitely be something i stay considerate of moving forward.
sibling abuse in general. I received broken ribs, a cracked orbital socket, still have bald patches in my hair, a deformed broken collarbone, and was covered in bruises from 6 to about 15 where i actually got bigger and stronger than my older sister and beat her to a pulp. my family knew i was being abused by her but it was just "sibling things". she was 5 years older than me. when the responsibility of babysitting was finally put on her, she would just leave me to fend for myself and care for my siblings. i remember being 10 years old and having to change my disabled 5 year old brothers nappies, and cook dinner for him and my sister, alone for hours at a time. I didnt have a single friend at that time, as i would have to turn them all away at the door, as i couldn't leave the younger ones alone. She sexually abused me several times as a means of humiliating me. usually mocking my "anatomy". It became outright torture once i hit puberty. to this day, i wish a painful death on my sister and i feel no shame for the raw hatred and spite I feel for her. I will rejoice at every moment of misfortune she has in her life. I will never forgive her, and i hate "forgiveness is healing" bullshit and "take the high road". taking the high road is what lets bastards like that get away with it for so long.
Have you had any therapy? I'm an old pensioner and I can't understand abusers. Therapy is for you, yourself, you have the rest of your life to live, at the moment your life is being poisoned by hate and resentment. Forget your abusers, think of yourself and your future years. Good luck!
I really hope you get therapy and find healing. Forgiving isn’t for the other person it’s for you. When you feel hatred for her it’s not hurting her at all, but it is hurting you. I’ve been raped, beaten and abused more than once by more than one person in my life. I understand your pain, I use to be angry too, but it didn’t help me at all; I wasn’t a better person for being angry I was a hurt person. I decided I didn’t want them to have control over me anymore. There was nothing I could do about it legally, but I could chose to be happy and live my life. I’m not trying to downplay your hurt at all, I’m really not. I’m just saying by not forgiving you’re hurting yourself more and not the person who hurt you. I really hope you find healing.
Yes, there is a lot of hype around forgiving and it is complete nonsense, based loosely on religious beliefs. Never forgive, never forget. It will keep you strong. Name and shame your perpetrator at every opportunity, preferably in public. Remember that they want to comfortably walk away from their wrongdoing and forget that it ever happened. Don't let them. Punish them by forcing THEM to resurface the memory of their actions. This is particularly useful when the Law does not hold them to account. Impose your own sentence on them by flinging it in their faces at every opportunity. THAT is how you get to gain and keep the upper hand over them. Hold the line...
I don’t think forgiving means pretending nothing happened, and being friends, but more not letting it ruin any more of your life, letting your sister go from your life and thoughts. Not easy, I know. I have people I can’t avoid, and after many years, I can’t find it in me to care about them at all. They have to live with themselves and their shit personalities, not me.
I swear some people are just born without a soul or conscience, how could you look at your younger siblings and think sexually, it's so disgusting and I feel so horribly sorry for this poor women and anyone that underwent this.
I was sexually abused for over 2 years by my oldest sister. At the time I was 10-12 and she was 19-21. There was a third party involved via Skype/messenger who would record and put it on CP websites, making profit off of my suffering. I’m currently 17 and have severe PTSD aswell as anxiety, depression, and OCD. I’m still working through it but I find it hard to feel “normal” knowing what happened and knowing there’s a great possibility that someone might recognize me from those websites. I find it comforting knowing it isn’t my fault and that there’s people out there who have been through similar stuff and it helps knowing I can possibly help others in the future by sharing my experiences and things that have helped me overcome it.
My heart breaks for the little girls these women were, the girls who were scared and confused and hurt. On the other hand, I'm in awe of the strong women they are now. I wish them great health and happiness after such early trauma.
I'm reading the comments and I'm just so taken aback by how common it is and how many family members didn't believe when they were told about it, even shunned the abused. You're all beautiful people for sharing and you're not alone.
My repressed memories of 3-yr old me and my oldest half brother at 22 caused a nervous breakdown. I was glad I remembered biting him too.😌 I never told anyone but my sister who probably told his wife and daughters.
I was sexually abused by my older brother and I spoke up about it and I no longer have many family members who I talk to anymore because he is so good at lying. I don't think I can get anything legally done about it. I'm hoping that he doesn't have any idea where I live anymore.
I get that. My stepbrother who was my age at the time either molested me, or abused me. I’m still trying to figure out which one it is. We were both 8. I have no idea if it would be molesting, but im trying to figure it out, and I also have no idea if anyone would believe me.
My older sister used to sexually assault me and sexually harrass me in private and infront of my parents and infront of our friends. Nobody ever did anything or said anything. Nobody stopped her. Sometimes she was encouraged or rewarded to repeat the trauma on me as if it was funny and I was the butt of the joke and I do mean that in a literal sense it was horrific and dehumanizing on a level I cannot even fully articulate. The shame and humiliation and helplessness and terror and anger and defeat I feel is on an unimaginable scale. Sibling sexual abuse and sibling sexual trauma is real. Being held down and forced to be on the receiving end of disgusting things being done to your body without your consent and out of your control is the most inhuman thing I can think of. And then the bystanders who watch or laugh while it's happening to you. Vile.
im finally speaking up and waiting to speak to the police, staying silent over the years has destroyed me and the relationships ive been in as i havent wanted sexual contact with that on my mind. im waiting now to do a VI with the police which will be hard but im hoping as im in therapy it will help me heal. so brave speaking out. thanks for sharing your story.
Good luck, you too are very courageous and I hope you are getting the required support throughout the process, again please know you can reach out to SARSAS.
It boggles my mind sometimes how long and how deeply devastating child sex abuse is. I’m 52, my life has been forever impacted to the point of destruction from abuse. Hugs my fellow survivor.
Hug's to both of you, I'm 65 and what happened to me as a child the rape's and brutal beatings live with me every single day It changes who we were supposed to be We definitely was cheated in life
@@jennie3186 Thanks Jenny. It definitely does and it’s generational, “bloodline trauma”, my trauma affects my children and so on. I’ve done a lot of work to heal but it never truly leaves I don’t think. xx Melissa.
I’m the eldest of 3 siblings, I’m their protector, their guardian. My parents always told us that siblings protect each other. It is very difficult for me to wrap my mind around the fact that not all siblings are like us. My brothers are my life, it angers me that this happens. I later learned my mom was a victim of sibling abuse. We also knew a family that my mom never wanted us to play with. It later came out that the mom allowed the dad to watch p*rn in front of the kids and they even made them do things to each other for their amusement. The eldest boy unalived himself because he couldn’t live with the guilt of what he was doing to his siblings or that his urges were unnaturally strong (apparently he wrote a note and thats how the police found out) and the others had to go to a hospital because their minds broke. I don’t know what happened to them later in life but it always made me sad. People really don’t know the power of p*rn and the things it does to people. My dad’s siblings forced him to watch it as well and he got severe anger issues thanks to it.
So brave to speak out. I guess I did not realize this happened in many families and therefore, I was lucky with my big family. I’m really sorry to hear this for people and I am just shocked that these siblings don’t know right from wrong and worse, don’t get prosecuted for their abuse.
I have been molested multiple times by family members my mom's creepy friend . I was raped at the age of 13. My mother never cared . She only cared about the drugs and alcohol.I will never leave my daughter around anyone alone.
Glad to see people brave enough to face this head on. Because when you reach the age of understanding what it was, it feels gross. You feel embarrassed even if you hadn’t initiated anything. My family was effected by foster children who were abused, they were just repeating their abuse. Sometimes you don’t know what they’ve suffered and what they bring with them. If you do choose to open your home to foster children, make sure your own children are old enough to speak up for themselves.
Thank you for sharing Rachel. Yes educating professionals, parents, carers, siblings and children will go a huge way in trying to prevent this. As you say in some cases some children who have been abused repeat the abuse therefore with more education children can be educated at an earlier age, others can be protected the chances of the cycle of abuse continuing can be minimised.
Im 71 my brother is nearly 80. I never told anyone. My mother was a narcissist; my father, we now believe was Asperger’s and never involved himself in anything. My brother never forced me, or told me not to tell. We never told our parents anything. It was the only touch I got as a child, none of us were hugged, kissed or loved. I learned to exchange sex for love. He is and has been a loving husband, dad and granddad. My birth family is so fragmented, thanks to our parents, I’m not going to make it any worse.
I am sorry but that age difference between you was a power asymmetry, and this was very wrong. I understand that at this point you want to let things go, but he knew better even if you didn't. This is grooming.
@@adrianalisitza5543 I now understand it was wrong but I’m not going to break up his family for something that happened decades ago. Yes it skewed my idea of love. Now at nearly 72 I’m in therapy to find some peace at last with my childhood. He ‘played’ a minor role, my mother was the major person who screwed up all 4 of us.
@@jcjhudson I totally get where you are coming from, and I agree with your reasoning. 💖 You are amazing, and I do hope you find huge healing in your therapy. I am a survivor, and I am also a counsellor since 2009. One of my most amazing clients was a lady in her 70s who came to me for three years because she was abused from the age of 5 - 23! She did a wonderful healing journey, and later some of her family members initially didn't recognize her at a family event because she looked so different! 😊 All the best. 🌿
I feel like I’m a way I was very lucky because my brother was arrested, found guilty and spent 4 years in prison. He now has to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life.
The incest started when I was 3 and stopped around 9 or 10....because he moved out. And yes, I was silenced by fear. I started talking about it when I was in my 30's.
I find it such a relieve for me that people are willing nowadays to share their story. These stories have really helped me. Thanks for sharing, It takes so much courage. As an adult survivor of child sexual abuse from my male half sibling, I have just in the last 2 years being able to speak my truth and even speak with the Police. People who have not gone through such a terrible experience for me have no understanding of how it affects your life growing up in so many ways. We are survivors.
Just putting this out there that California recently extended the statute of limitations for child s** abuse. This issue is so tragic but there are people willing to listen to you. Filing a report ,even later , puts that on record forever and if they recorded it will instantly corroborate your story even if theres no evidence since it was a long time ago. This issue causes generational trauma and is so sad.
We were abused by most every male family member as well as our mothers bf's. My brother ended up in prison for the rape of a 12 yr old and my uncle was on FBI's most wanted after a rape. I am now told by family that my brother served his time and I should let it go. No one understands that it isn't my choice to let go. I was raped at 3 for the first time. There has never been a night that has passed that I could sleep without help. I have never had a sexual encounter where I didn't throw up after. I am now 55 and have been celibate for 13 yrs....gladly. I thank God I am no longer attractive to men. I purposefully gained weight and don't do hair or make up. It is the only way I have found any peace other than my faith. I have forgiven but will never forget. It's ingrained in me. Most men are not safe given the chance. That is wrong I know but my reality thus far and not just me. I only have ever had 1 friend who has never experienced some form of sexual abuse or harassment. Its disgusting.
I’m so sorry you went through that. No, don’t let it go if you are not ready to. That family took something important from you. I’m wishing you, and all the other survivors, peace and happiness ❤
That’s horrible. You’re awesome to be able to keep on going. I’m the only girl in my family that hasn’t been assaulted yet, and I’m terrified. I think I’ve almost been multiple times, since they told me their stories I’ve been alert about it. I’ve been groomed but managed to realize it before it got too far. I’m afraid of everyone, and in recent years my anxiety has gotten so bad that I can’t leave my house. I feel like it’s only a matter of time. Every place I’ve been had creeps, my school, my work, police. It’s scary.
I am so sorry for what happened to you, the repeated abuse by many family members and the life-long impacts you are still having to deal with. You are 100% right 'no one understands' because it happened to you, you are still suffering from something that should never have happened and that wasn't your fault. We hear you and we see you.
This happened to me with my older and younger brother. My mother knew about it both times but refused to really address it. Maybe because it happened to her too 😟 This situation really effected my life because nobody outside of my mom, my 2 older twin brothers and my little brother knew.. until right now 😢
@@NotFalling4it I appreciate your kind words ❤ I'm doing much better and learning how to heal the wounds from the past in order to have a successful future as an adult.. My spirituality and therapy is definitely helping me along my journey.
I too, came from a large family where there was much sexual abuse by older brothers to younger sisters and brothers. My mother could not respond appropriately with protection but instead shamed the one reporting the abuse. It has taken me 50 years to process this traumatic upbringing ……Education, respect for another’s boundaries and effective parenting that is not heavily tainted by religious doctrines would have been a good start to a safe childhood. Empathy is where it all begins…..rather than threat of violence …
I grew up never questioning how safe I was, or that there was ANY way else to live. But, sadly, FAR MORE children than EVER suspected...NEVER ENJOYED THAT LUXURY...
I was sexually abused by my older brother when I was 17 years old and he was 21 and when I told my mother about it she told me not to tell anyone about it so I wouldn’t cause trouble for him. And so I wouldn’t embarrass the family. And that was and is til this day so heartbreaking for me. I feel she doesn’t care about the pain it’s caused me. I have since distanced myself from her and the rest of my family I miss home a lot but she continues to support my brother and he lives in her house. Sometimes I miss my parents and I wanna come home but I dont feel comfortable with him being there. I would think my mom would’ve kicked him out but instead I’m living on my own in my one bedroom studio while he gets to sleep at mommy’s house. He is the oldest sibiling and still continues to use my parents and have them support him, even after he did this to me.
Your mom is using him as a crutch. That’s why she’s enabling him. Just continue to live on your own. You should visit if you can mentally tolerate it. They’re the only family you get and it’s a lonely world-but be careful not to put yourself in a vulnerable position with them. Always have your own and make your own way
@@P3ach3sncr3amm perdón, yo le hubiese quemado ahí, esa parte tan importante para él, con agua hirviendo, y a mi madre le hubiese dicho:"todo paso porque tú, te has hecho la ciega y sorda" .
I am so sorry you are dealing with this. It is heartbreaking. Just know that this is not your fault. You did nothing wrong. If you need to go home for a visit go. By not going you are punishing yourself as it is hurting you. If you go be sure to go under your terms and leave as soon as you feel uncomfortable. YOU matter! XX
This is why you don't leave kids alone together for any extended period of time, not even your own kids. There always needs to be adult present. And keep the age gapped kids separated, a 15 years has no need to hang out with an 8 year old cousin.
I was babysat at 8 by 15yo.. never molested but siblings should be able to trust each other. It’s deeper than always have an adult present. Something happened to the perpetrator
@@freetobree5323 I’ve thought about that. But I also think, some people are wired that way. They’re born like that. It’s just the way they are. My brother was the golden child. Everyone adored him. No one would believe he was capable of anything like what he did to me. Years later he was convicted of statutory rape. He had sex with an underage girl, and her parents found out. To this day, no one in my family knows what he did to me. I alluded to the fact with my aunt, but she chose to change the subject.
@@TheFairyintheFishBowl I’m so sorry that happened to you. I agree that some people probably do have an affinity for sexual deviance..I feel like since he was the golden child, there were probably early signs they either chose to ignore or innocently overlooked..especially if they act like they didn’t know what was happening to you. It seems like your parents weren’t very intuitive..
Absolutely!!! I lived by this rule with my 2 kids. 8 yr age gap and unfortunately it still happened. As there are always small enough moments where you let your guard down. If I could do it over I never would take my eyes off of my daughter. As it destroyed my family and damaged my children for life. They are now adults and it still impacts their lives daily
A sibling exposed themselves to me and asked me what I thought about it. I have never brought up the subject with them. I have mentioned it to other siblings, I don't know that I should have. Our family is very fractured in more recent years. I experienced a lot of abuse from my mother (not sexual), but sa from my grandmother. It's shocking that it goes on. I'm now in my sixties but you don't forget.
To begin with, I am so sorry that this sexual violation happened to you by a sibling who you trust and loved. I commend you all for having the courage to standing up for yourselves and cast the shame on those who violated you. Society fails to protect one child because her perpetrator was only 14! It's send a terrible message to those who continue victimize others knowing they will get away with it! But they won't! In due time they shall get what they deserve and more! As for Carole, I am glad you got justice and your perpetrator went to JAIL. I pray that he got what he deserved IN JAIL I'm sending you all lots of peace and love, and wishing you all the best for now and years to come. THANK YOU FOR STANDING UP FOR YOURSELVES.
It was very hard to hide the sexual abuse. I was in my late 40's before I told anyone of the sexual abuse. I lived in silence for years. The fact that it was a family member made it all the more difficult for me to understand. I have a feeling that she had been abused as well, and that she may have been repeating a pattern. I have been through a lot of therapy over the past 7 years, and I would encourage anyone who has been through this to seek help.
I too was abused my older sister. It started when I was 5 years old. She would always include it in play. It made it incredibly hard for me to have a fulfilling sexual relationship with a man and I am not attracted to women. Needless to say it screwed me up pretty bad. I have to believe something happened to her and that it was learned from somewhere else. The sad part is most victims go on to victimize. I'm so sorry you went through this and I'm glad that you are on the journey to healing. You are so incredibly brave to share and you are so incredibly strong. ♥
I am glad that all of you are strong and have moved past the abuse as much as you can. It was not your fault, and you deserve to have full, happy lives. I would have a very difficult time being around the offender, if I could at all.
This happened in my family of 4 boys and 5 girls. And father. I'm 50 and am still affected to this day along with my sisters. Some of my brothers were abused by other males an some have turned around and abused others.
My brother and his friend molested me when I was 5. I had already been molested by a neighbor at 2. Then at 9, my mother's friends husband tried to rape me. I told my parents every time, but nothing was ever done and never spoken of again. My brain partially blocked out the incident with my brother, and for years I knew something happened, but I couldn't recall the details. Over the years, things would trigger the memory and it took 50 years for me to finally remember it. My brother called me and told me it was him and that he was so sorry. We haven't talked about it again. My mother kept bringing it up with the wrong perpetrator, so I had to tell her that it was my brother. She didn't believe me. I learn early on that I didn't have anybody I could trust or count on.
This happened to me as a child.. never told my mother. when I was a teenager he come over to my home and I was alone..I threaten to shoot him like a rabid dog..he smirked and left. I for one did not feel shame when I came to understand what had happened to me. I was a preyed upon.. the most heinous act inflicted upon an innocent child....I spoke of my sexual assault to friends..family..strangers who broached such topic's I do not wear the label victim..I wear a badge of courage.. when my brother was dying..I told him I forgive you...
There will come a time when it will be taught to children. They need to know what boundaries are and have a system for reporting abuse. The potential abusers need taught too because they start at 14yrs old...In fact it's alarming how it isn't taught to both adults and children..
The reason kids aren't taught about boundaries because uptight conservatives believe that subjects like that aren't "age-appropriate". Conservatism drives unhealthy relationships and silences victims.
@@JoyFay when they are a lot younger than that there is a very real element of normal development stage of exploring bodies that is completely innocent. 💖 It is when there is a power imbalance with one child being older, and when a sexual element develops that a line is crossed and it becomes abuse. Unfortunately due to the sexualisation of society, including children, the lines between normal human development phases and sexual abuse are becoming increasingly blurred, and anxiety around these experiences is increasing, which is sad. 😔 It is when children
They teach it at my son's school in the progressive state I live. He came home with a worksheet about boundaries, how it is okay to say "STOP" during a tickling game even if you were having fun to begin with, things like that. But parents also need to learn to respect children's boundaries. It always happens in families where children aren't respected and have no personal autonomy, such as with corporal punishment. Children need to know their bodies are their OWN no gray areas
My Mother is very out spoken woman, she has my ex husbands head on a platter for over 25 years we’ve been apart over things I’ve long let go of. When it comes to my sexual abuse w brother, radio silence. Zero acknowledgment. All it would’ve taken is supportive words, that’s it. She’s broken this up. It’s unbelievable.I just told her a few months ago but my oldest daughter told her 20 years ago. Never one single word to ask if I was okay. It’s like I’m venting to the world online here as she was my biggest advocate or so I though. It’s really unfathomable.
Happened to me for my entire childhood. Finally told when I was an adult. Mom sides with my abuser. 🤡 (Disabled and I actually live with her - trying and failing to get on disability)
@@staceywilliams1863 I automatically don’t qualify because I have the “wrong type of seizures” and haven’t worked enough years total to qualify in Missouri. Id just be wasting my time.
@@reeesecastillo I’m in Australia and disability is hard to get here as well. I worked in the department that assessed the claims. My advice to you is to get a hold of the Social Policy Law, the law that they base their decisions on - read it and learn exactly how they assess the claims. If you have any trouble, go to a disability advocate. Also try getting assessed for PTSD, Anxiety, Depression - they are disabilities and you may be entitled to be assessed on that criteria as well. If you need any help please let me know. I might be in a different country but I know how to interpret the laws and legislations so I could be of some help - Ive advocated and fought for a number of people to get disability and never lost a battle yet. I know you say you haven’t worked long enough but in my experience there’s a loophole around most things, they just don’t tell you. It’s the same here, they don’t tell you …. “Well, you can actually qualify based on (insert legislation nobody knew existed).
I was sexually abused for many years by my older brother. My parents knew but apart from talking to him to stop, did nothing. I am autistic and as such as a child with crippling social anxiety could not speak out to teachers or friends parents or police. I so wish I had.
I was called nuts and in need of medication in an intimidating manner by a female police officer when I tried to report the abuse I have seen with my own eyes in my family
Its hard. I wish my abuser had gotten help as well as myself and my younger sister. Everything was swept under the rug. He's tried to take his own life many times over the years and I've often wondered if he's gone on to abuse others. I haven't spoken to anyone for almost 20 years. I can't pretend like it didnt happen.
How sad. I’m reading comments and so many people experienced this.. I can’t believe there are so many survivors. God bless you all, my heart goes out to all of you.
Truly sad when your family is responsible for abusing you. The people meant to love and protect you just doing the complete opposite. Dated a man once who was troubled, he was aboit 4 or 5 years older than me. He eventually admitted to me that he was sexually abused repeatedly by his older half brother. To this day I dont beleive he has told anyone in his family and he would occasionally see that brother at family get together. We didn't stay together long because he was very promiscuous. The 1st time I knew him his partner count was 20 something. Less than a year later he visits and the count was now in its 40's. He actually expected me to just give in and sleep with him again but I was beyond disgusted so I told him no repeatedly. Needless to say he had no interest if he couldn't get laid, he went through lots of confusion on his sexuality and stated he was gay for a while then went back to being straight. It comes down to mentally messing the person up when a family member gets away with that level of abuse. I pray he did the right thing after he got married to his wife and got help so they stand a chance. The half brother deserves to face legal repercussions and be put on a watch list for predators. Def doesn't deserve to live a happy full life after what he did thats for sure.
3 of my 4 brothers sexually abused me. Their friends as well. My family said I was a lyer and my parents physically abused me. Mentally abused me. Just for speaking up when it happened. That was around 7 and it was being done to me since very very young. It stoped at 12. My sisters knew what was going on but didn't say anything. They had it done to them and they said nothing to our parents. It wasn't until my younger brother said something in his 40s that everything was talked about. By then 3 of my nephews had sexually abused my daugther and my son. Again my parents said I had a problem and my mother tried to help my ex husband take custody of my children. So no even after forgiving everyone there is no meaningful relationship with any of my siblings (8) apart from 1. Nothing with my surviving parent either. My father died hating me for speaking out. They still haven't stepped up to say sorry . 2 brothers did but even that wasn't enough at the time and since then it hasn't changed. Our mother still doesn't believe it all. She still has an axe to throw at me. So for you who have a good standing with your abusers, good on you. Well done. It is welcoming to hear that others are out there and willing to speak up about it.
It started with my oldest brother being sexually abused by his uncle and grandfather then he abused my sisters and other brother. That other brother abused me and two of my other siblings. When my younger brother died of a drug overdose, I spoke up. I spoke about my receiving sexual abuse by my older brother joe and was scapegoated and ostracized. He even called my grieving mother and told her I was lying about it all. I was 45.
Every time I see a traumatic story pop up somewhere, I’m always like, “oh, I met a girl in rehab who-“… I mean I’ve heard it all, so many sad sad stories. I even was in a rehab with a man who was just a few cells over from Dahmer in the early 90s
Children unfortunately do things that will impact their lives and the lives of others. I myself was abused by my older brother. Then found myself in that horrible situation with my own 2 kids. My son was abusing my daughter. I had the police involved and did everything to stop it the moment I discovered it. Treatment programs, therapy and more. However I now about 16 yrs later still feel horrible for the choice I made to report it. As it ruined my family, and my kids relationship. My son has lived full of guilt and shame since 15 when it was discovered. My daughter feels guilt and shame for ruining our family and his life. He has never reoffended or shown any predatory behaviours. He has lived a life of constant suicidal behaviours. So has my daughter. She had to grieve the loss of her big brother. I often wish I just stopped it and dealt with it on my own. I was abused by my older brother and have had a decent relationship with him. Having been in 3 positions regarding sibling abuse has given me insight from all angles. Having to advocate for both the victim and perpetrator as a parent was very hard. Unfortunately our society doesn’t have the tools to help families heal properly from this.
wow, the adults Said I was lying, under 5 yrs old, one time, and my life was forever changed, 50 years later and 17 years of good mental health psychiatry and counseling, I am a survivor, so are you
I never told my parents but a boyfriend of mine told them when I was 43. I didn't want him to tell them, he did it to hurt them and hurt me, he was sadistic that way. Also told me i probably liked it. Sick f!! My parents never spoke of it, and never will.
Important to hightligh this topic. Importantlyly not all families deal with this as they should. To keep it behind closed doors, protectecting abuser and family reputation. Victims need more support and information on where they stand in law to help them when abuser is also a child ect.
Yikes. My mom's sister's son molested daughter of another sister. Ever since that day, I've been fearing to touch my sister. I've never done it in my life but I keep on searching for earliest memories to find out if I've done it. I can't find any...Did I forget it? I'd like to turn myself in to the prison if I've done it. As a older sister, the idea of abusing younger sister is like a nightmare to me. I can't feel comfortable when she hugs me. My mind would tell me, "it's inappropriate. Don't hug her" then push her away. I've been ignoring her. She thinks I hate her :-( I can't even bring myself to touch her hair anymore like I used to in the past because her hair is amazing. I feel for all victims. You'll are valid.
Don't punish your self for something you can't remember. You know what is right and wrong. You can still have a good relationship with your sister. Just maintain boundaries.
@@hyrunnisa997 Thanks! I reached out to my therapist and psychiatrist as well because it has gotten so bad that I also started to have same thoughts with other children. I recently got diagnosed with POCD. I'm relieved that I'm not an abuser but unfortunately, it's still a torture. It keeps on giving me intrusive thoughts about children and I have compulsions that makes me avoid children.
Its seem when it happen within sibling/cousins, it is the adults starting the abuse when the children are very young and they repeat the pattern within the families. Hopefully these people can work through these horrible destructive issues and they don't repeat their rage out on others for what happen to them when they were very young.
Thank you brave people for your life stories. The fact is that many, many evil things happen behind the doors and walls of seemingly nice, good homes and families- Tragic but real. So much cruelty and deception. What I've discovered is that there are forces at work in all our lives to destroy and often they do, but there is also another Force Who has promised LIFE abundantly. His name is Jesus and when we begin to understand and believe just what it is that He's provided for us humans through His death, His blood and resurrection, when we put our faith in His finished work, we can begin to recover and receive healing and wholeness- in fact a New Life. He's promised to wash us whiter than snow by His blood- there is power in Jesus' blood! His promise is to 'restore the years that canker worm has destroyed' (Joel 2:25) He can and will give back a new life. Just call His name- He's waiting for you today.
I felt this because I’m the baby outta 5 kids and 2 miscarriages plus my half brother sexually abused me when I was 11 and 12 plus I have autism I couldn’t tell my special Ed teacher about it when I got to middle school my 6th grade year because she liked my mom and I was scared to tell her about it because my brother had a gun at home plus he pointed it at me when I was 11 and he’s 21 year old friend gave him that gun I kept this silent for years off my life till my aunt got killed in 2021 plus my mom has favoritism so she favoritism’s my sister and brother plus there dads over my dad and me and I’m my dads only child so for the people out there going thru this ik and it still traumatized me to this day I was sexual abuse by my uncle my moms brother in elementary school my brother in middle school and basketball players in high school so my situation is sad and difficult to bear 😔😔😔😔
Without any justice these sick persons think they can get away with it next time they sexual abuse someone. It upsets me that the police and the politicians don’t do their job. They have lost bravery and mind. I guess they got woke.
If anyone knows more about this than I do, please feel free to reply. How can I determine what is normal curiosity between children, and what crossed that line into abuse? What if both children are the same age? I’m trying to wrap my head around some of my own childhood experiences. I appreciate any responses.
Am not saying that I know more. Just common sense. I guess when a child feels uncomfortable and try to stop whatever they're doing, but the other is forcing to continue doing it, then it has crossed the line.
My brother and cousins and I did the normal "doctor" play as curiosity and it was brief and innocent, and completely comfortable for us all at the time. This is the normal stuff of childhood, and is generally before the age of nine or ten. At thirteen a close friend and I looked at each other's breasts and gently touched out of curiosity too. Again, a completely normal phase of social development. We are both heterosexual and have long been healthy adults. The times it becomes abuse is when one child/young person is older, and there is a power difference between the two. If it is not consensual, or if "consent" is coerced, it's abuse. When a child is not comfortable and they ask for it to stop but their pleas are ignored, it's abuse. If it goes on for a period of time, and if the bigger/older child threatens the younger/more vulnerable one into silence, it's abuse. It often begins as curiosity, then quickly becomes sexual. That's when the line is crossed as well. Quite often the perpetrator will have also been a victim previously, though not in every case, necessarily. It's far more common than we have previously realised. We also have to be thoughtful and not translate every childhood experience as abusive, when many experiences are simply a normal part of our human development process. 💖 😊 🙆🏻♀️ 🌿 👍🏾 I was a nurse for many years, and I have been a counsellor since 2009, and I hope this is helpful. 💖
I agree with the last posts. I think most kids do weird things with which ever kids are around when they’re discovering new stuff, BUT when there’s a change in the power dynamic, and one is exploiting the other for whatever gain, then it is abuse.
Our neighbour (he and his wife were very good friends to my mum and step father) attempted to abuse me when I was about 7. While on our own he began to undo my trousers. I was scared and surprised and reacted and he (thankfully) stopped , said ' don't say anything' and I ran back home. He did not try again. I did not say anything until, in my 50's I told my Mum who did not rrally react and did not really want to know. I found out years later that the neighbour and his wife and my mum and step father had a very 'close' friendship, would play strip poker together. The latter knce took my sister aged 9 to a couples house, put her to bed with their daughter and then had sex with the other couple. My sister, who was upset, disturbed them and was taken home. The following day she was told that it 'never happened' she must have had a bad dream.
Your 50 yrs old like really please remember what brings people pain and misery is the past! Declare war on it and go through life as victorious not ask the victim
@@lifesforliving4929 I have a saying that if the grown-ups keep crying what are the babies going to do! This is life, whatever you can think about is happening at this very moment! I was sexually abused when I was young but now I am a grandfather and I refuse to keep playing the victim roll the person that did that to me is perhaps dead and it happened in the 70's it's 2022 and I'm still crying trying to be the certain of attention nah I can start living life or keep holding onto the past and whatever I went through there's someone who had it worser and only became stronger instead of crying about the PAST! and I totally understand that everyone isn't the same that's why there will always be victims and victorious ones
@@nymelemorgan8074 I left home at 17 and made my own way through life, never looked back, I responded to the video relating my early experience, that's all. I'm 68 now, I've enjoyed a successful career, now retired. My wife and I celebrated our 40th anniversay in July, we have a daughter who has been nurtured with love and supported and that has been a joy to do. I'm not whining and I'm sorry if it read that way. It wasn't meant to.
I want a place to register this truth then a Royal Commission to fine the perpetrators .All children need guidance about the privacy of their bodies and incest taboo. VERY younger siblings are not moral enough to understand the crime .
It happend to me! YOU NEED TO SPEAK UP!!! or else they go on............ MY older brother did this.......he was 11 years older. But he is free, nobody did anything about it even thou it stopped when i told my mother.
It's hard to learn if teen abusers realised enough or not. If they didn't realise, it's also their trauma. But if they did realise... They get no punishment, and as adults - do they apologize sincerely?
Im not justifying anything, but it also makes me wonder what is wrong with the sibling that is doing the abusing. Like if they are just children themselves, why are they like that?
they are very often themselves victims - maybe of someone who is not around anymore (as these are mostly older siblings). Or there are also families with a very low self control and moral levels. I recently saw a documentary about families who engaged in incest for generations and even after the trial some of them didn't understand what's wrong.
It is many, many different things. Sometimes they are victims of abuse themselves, sometimes they are exposed to pornography and curious or confused about the things they have seen, sometimes they are just curious, and sometimes just evil monsters who have no conscience. There are so many different things and every case is individual and different so it is so hard to determine a single cause. My brother for instance, I don’t believe he was bad, and I also don’t think he was ever abused himself (but can’t be certain) and yet he still did things to me. I think he was just confused and curious and I was available… that sounds horrible but that’s what it was for him. I don’t even think he knew it was wrong, and he made me believe that it was ok, and so I went along with it. Everybody is different, and so is every reason for abuse.
@@iamiam4015 it is though. I have never told anybody about what my brother did to me, despite my mother constantly telling me as a child what to look for, and teaching me about boundaries and all that. I was very well informed, but never said anything, because my brother had made me believe that it was ok, and that it wasn’t wrong because he was my brother and I could trust him. To this day my parents don’t know, and it was almost 20 years ago. It’s not just as simple as asking children questions or even giving them all the info you can…
My mom found out my step brother ...her bio son...she told my father which is my bio dad. This was in 1978. He has never spoke to me since. I can't say anything because the only other ppl that knew are dead now. So I am here alone while my bio brother hates me as well because I caught him in my bedroom I shared with my sister when I came from the shower. I didn't want to embarrass him so I just went back into the bathroom while he !eft out. Told my mom she told dad.
Not always. Some of them, my brother being one, was most likely influenced by pornography exposure at a young age, by older friends who talk about things, and that makes them curious, or just curiosity in general when puberty hits, and it’s a case of the sibling victim just being there and available. That’s how it was for me. I honestly believe to this day, that my brother genuinely did not know it was wrong at the time… whether he knows now, or even remembers it, is another story.. but it’s not always a case of the abuser being abused as well… there are many, many things that can cause this behaviour from people. Some are just born with it in their nature, some are not educated enough to know that it is wrong, and so just act on their curiosity, some are just evil and narcissistic and don’t care.. and some repeat patterns of abuse that they have experienced themselves…and so much more.
@@teefarox92 Is there such a thing as “just evil”? I wonder if people with no empathy like narcissists are damaged by trauma rather than born that way. I take your point that the child might be influenced by porn rather than having experienced abuse themselves, but if some kids genuinely don’t know it’s wrong, how do they know to keep it a secret from their parents?
@@Gypsywandering400 That’s a good point. In my case, I think it’s incompetent parenting. But the whole nature vs nurture argument when it comes to narcissism and psychopathy and all that, is an argument that has been raging for years. I believe some people are more prone to becoming that way, and then trauma or some sort of big event will happen to trigger those behaviours. For some it’s more severe than others. I believe Evil is born but some can lay dormant and come out after a trauma, and some just exists and develops on its own. I guess everybody is different. I also think that maybe some people just don’t talk about what they do. I never told my parents about anything I was doing, neither did my brothers. So, in my case at least, even if it was like he didn’t know it was wrong, I don’t think he would have told anyone anyway… at least not our parents. And friends and peers wouldn’t take things like that seriously. All these things are so individual and every person and situation is completely different, which is why it is so hard to determine why it happens.. and so hard to prosecute. Because every case is different. I am absolutely NOT condoning this at all, I’m just saying it’s not as easy as it seems to be.
@@teefarox92 Yes, it’s a minefield. I am sure you’re right that each case is individual in all sorts of circumstances. What is shared between all victims, however, is the pain. I hope you’re taking good care of yourself. The thing about people with no empathy, perhaps it is in some way genetically predisposed, as you mention. It’s my human instinct that tells me it’s a reaction to a profound feeling of being unloved and unwanted early in life, in some cases in the womb, and the earlier this reaction was established, the harder it is for the individual to grow beyond it.
May my story of being sexually abused as a child in union city New Jersey be a testimony for others as I come into union with my god ordained spouse. Thank you for the strength Jesus Christ please restore my peace. I feel like someone tired to take my spouse away as a child because my light was shining so bright even as a child I was set me up to be abused. My mother betrayed me in order to keep a relationship with my abusers father and I’m still living with her I need your prayers to get out Jesus knows and sees all and brought back my faith I give my Heavenly Father my lord and savior all the praise thank you! I will never be put to shame ever again, god restores to me whatever was destroyed or taken from me. I am a child of god. I am victorious. God please be my defense and my shield. I give you all the praise and worship.
I was sexually abused as a little girl by a distant family member. I have carried such guilt with me all of my life. One thing I have never unerstood is WHY are the victims shamed? Why .. when they expose the predator .. are THEY then shunned by the family? It is beyond barbaric.
Sadly my take on it is those types had no business being parents or having children around in the 1st place. When faced with that truth they see it as a reflection of their own failures and most refuse to be accountable for the things they did wrong. So they double down and victim blame when they know deep in their hearts they are scum that failed the person in question who was abused.
It’s always easier to shame the victim it’s easier to hush them up because most times they are younger and if everyone else is older they’ll just believe the older ones 💔💔… it’s extremely sad that it’s STILL happening
Not everyone believes them too. Parents would never want to believe that one of their children could hurt their other child in that way. An instinctive response for many is disbelief rather than support.
its all about family honor, reputation. they see being a victim as a part of life. perfect families are a myth especially religious ones. all they have are skeletons in their closets. seeing most people as caring is naive. people are judgmental. you don't want to be in a group where one of you is capable of making all of you look bad. bringing it up for public investigation can last many, many years and give your family a bad name. WE ALL get hurt. you getting hurt is not EVERYONE else's problem.
I think that because it's usually the victim who wants things to stop and speaks out, rather than the abuser who confesses and wants to be stopped, people tend to over-associate the crime with the victim. They hear about the crime, see the face of the victim attached to it, where often the identity of the abuser will be more absent or more illusive. Because the abuser is not on the scene or is in denial and its the victim who is insisting and complaining, unfortunately its very easy for uncompassionate people who don't want to deal with abuse situations to dump all the fault and guilt onto the person who made them aware of it, rather than put themselves through the difficult and harrowing task of confronting the abuser. The victim has deprived the of their blissful ignorance and now they have something ugly to contend with. This reaction is something that can apply generally to all forms of sex abuse and other forms of abuse, but with siblings, sadly, favoritism also rears its ugly head. :/
This happened in my mom’s family. The oldest brother abused all three of his younger sisters. We don’t know about the brothers. When my aunt brought this to light when she was forty all of the anger was turned on her. Now that they’re all around their 70s they act like they’re in denial (six siblings). I always was creeped out by this uncle. Grateful that he never had children of his own though he did find a woman desperate enough to marry him.
@@Schrodingers_Kat That is because they are master manipulators.
too much of it has been happening for ever
Why they got angry at her??
@@anonymous-cx7ng own gulit and issues
This happened in my mom's family too, but they don't even talk about it.
I will NEVER be able to even ATTEMPT to wrap my brain around the amount of COURAGE needed to shed light on this kind of TRAUMA. These individuals are > survivors. They are VICTORS. 🦋❤️🦋
65 and this happened to me by a older brother, he would beat me until I would just give in to his sickness, mom knew and did nothing to protect me, I had no where to go and be safe as a child,. Now at 65 I'm mad as hell because I feel like I was cheated out of life, I have live a life in fear because of the rape's and brutal beatings
@Ella Bennett
Thank you for your kind words
I am so very sorry, no child should feel fearful in their own home and every child should feel protected. It is understandable that you are now feeling the anger and loss of your childhood, there is a huge grieving process involved with abuse. Thank you for courage and bravery speaking out.
my daughter told me that her cousin, my nephew was molesting her from age 10 to 18. if she hadn't joined the navy it probably wouldn't have stopped.. I had no idea.. none of us knew.. she was left with ptsd and night terrors..
she did therapy for 4 years. that's the only reason she was able to tell us.
she didn't want to press charges and relive it.
my family however wants me to get over it.
my mom thinks oh he was kid too when it started so ..I should move on.
he knew it was wrong.
we moved 11hours away.
I can't forgive my family for for forgiving him.
my kids my husband are more important than them.
Thank you for believing your daughter confronting and moving away. Forgive them but, don't forget. They are each others problem now. You and your small family are brave.
@@615BlackBarbie forgiveness is NOT necessary to move forward. You don't have to forgive the unforgivable.
We feel safe and happy where we are now. I don't expect a stranger to understand.. after all you don't know the whole story. And I don't have enough words to express or explain it..
@@JD-dh7bk Awesome.
@@JD-dh7bk Exactly, forgiveness is not necessary to heal. Bless you for supporting your daughter.
Im sorry, but i don't get how a mother don't know that your own child is been molested for 8 years 😟😭
OMFG.
I've been quiet about this for over 20 years. But this is the first time I've seen a video on it, and reading the title hit me like a sack of bricks and knocked the wind out of me. I haven't even watched it yet, but dear God, I feel validated after so fucking long.
okay. here is the other side of this spectrum. In my story, I was the older sibling who did things to the youngers, despite always being painted as a sexual predator and perpetrator by my parents, i was actually a victim myself, the thing about this is it’s a cycle, i unknowingly passed this on to my siblings (i was less than 8 years old at the time) and really did not know what i was doing, just what i was showed by the older girls who groomed me using pornography and other tactics. i have a lot of guilt for what i put my siblings through, i feel horrible that i gave them something they will have to heal from. i am an adult now and two of my siblings are nearing adulthood. we have had open conversations about it where i completely validate their experience and also share mine to give us both a deeper understanding. To this very day i HATE pornography for many many reasons, but mostly because that is where my sexual abuse started, it changed the way my brain functioned from a young age, i didn’t know what i was really looking at but i know it made me feel things i wasn’t ready to handle. i was a “difficult” teen if you talk to my parents, promiscuous, sneaky, dishonest, they sent me to a treatment camp and always painted me as this monster, when really deep down i was just a hurting little girl who didn’t know what to do with herself. most people will never understand and i hope they never have to go through the same things or watch their children go thru the same things. So to anyone who was a victim that continued the cycle, and grew up to break it and better yourself and be able to help others, I See You. Sending so much love.
What about those who stopped sexually abusing the sibling but they continued emotionally and psychologically abusing their sibling?
Thank you for sharing this from a place of your deepest honestly. Your perspective and experiences are valid. People need to see things from a bigger picture before casting stones...
Thank you for sharing, as I was reading all the respones, I thought of what you said and even before I read your message I was thinking the same thing. I appreciate you and saying this, because it is not just one person involved but several. Hugs Eve you are ok and brave to speak out. ❤
There are many who are sexually abused and never continue the cycle.
Thank you for sharing 💕
I myself don’t see you as a predator. Children unfortunately do things that will impact their lives and the lives of others. I myself was abused by my older brother. Then found myself in that horrible situation with my own 2 kids. My son was abusing my daughter. I had the police involved and did everything to stop it the moment I discovered it. Treatment programs, therapy and more. However I now about 16 yrs later still feel horrible for the choice I made to report it. As it ruined my family, and my kids relationship. My son has lived full of guilt and shame since 15 when it was discovered. My daughter feels guilt and shame for ruining our family and his life. He has never reoffended or shown any predatory behaviours. He has lived a life of constant suicidal behaviours. So has my daughter. She had to grieve the loss of her big brother. I often with I just stopped it and dealt with it on my own. I was abused by my older brother and have had a decent relationship with him. Having been in 3 positions regarding sibling abuse has given me insight from all angles. Having to advocate for both the victim and perpetrator as a parent was very hard. Unfortunately our society doesn’t have the tools to help families heal properly from this.
My older brother spent many years abusing me. When my parents found out, I was the one who got kicked out 🙃 it still affects me in some ways, but EMDR, therapy, and medication have helped
❤ 😔
I completely understand. My brother was 7 years older than me and he beat the crap out of me for years. It didn't stop till my dad made him leave home at the age of 19. I told my parents during my childhood that he was hurting me. I was told to shut up and deal with it. There was a lot of abuse in my house to most of the children. It's hard to trust other people when someone grows up this way. I hope you have found some peace in your life. For me waking up in the morning and trying to go to sleep at night is the most difficult time of day.
@@Lakirk2023 people trust far too quickly and blindly. keep them at arms length, like, for years. by that time, if they are worth your time, they will have stuck around.
I’m really sorry that you experienced that. My parents chose my brother too and I’ll never understand that.
I wonder why this seems to be a common occurrence in these situations? Either the parent(s) turn their backs on the victim or choose not to talk about it so they don't mess up the family dynamics. Is it possible that in these situations one of the parents was abusing the child who was abusing the sibling? And was able to manipulate the situation even more? Do I make any sense, I hope?
My evil brother amputated the tip of my middle finger of my right hand in a smashing incident that looked a little like an accident when I was only 8 or 9 years old and he was a teenager. The timing of the incident went through my head over and over again. I couldn't figure out why it turned out so bad. I guess later I realized evil existed and I started to see it more places. I hypothized that he smashed my fingers on purpose and then the timing finally made sense. I was just learning to play the recorder and really liked it. To this day I cannot finger such an instrument. When I was teenager he just lied a lot which caused all kinds of problems in my life, especially love life and economic life. There are all kinds of abuse.
I had a very similar experience as yours...triggering in fact. Hugs to you from another survivor who understands
I'm so sorry for your experiences - both of you. 😪💔🌿
That's horrific and leaves emotional scars forever. 🤦🏻♀️
Jesus f Christ
There unfortunately are Pia. Sorry for what you experienced.
I told my mom at the time, she told me " a real woman knows how to control a man "
30 years later I confronted my brother and family and was excommunicated because I would not retract and apologize because I waited too long
A “real” mother and family would love you unconditionally. They would support your decision to come forth and recognize your TRAUMA. You don’t need affirmation, nor validation from a stranger, but here is a little love, understanding, and support. 🦋❤️🦋
Stay strong. The evil is too shameful for them to own.
Your mom saying that is the very definition of internalized misogyny. Blaming the female child for not handling the man right. I’m so sorry. Thank you for sharing with us. I hope you have a support system. ❤
Holy s***! That's no mother. Pathetic and evil. So very sorry.
@@beckykazeks6827 people in Sandra's shoes may reconcile some day with that parent/mother. they may also become alarmed when someone criticizes that parent [as you just did] and that will push them back into silence. in the future, do not criticize the parent but rather offer your support for the child/victim.
I was 9 years old and sexually abused by my brother who’s 4 years older. I suppressed the memory for 16 years and when it came out, my narcissistic “mother” and my enabling father, down played it, like it’s the usual thing that happens. When I decided to cut my brother from my life due to him not every totally owning what he did to me, I was the “one who broke up the family” I was also told by my “mum” to “get a fucking life and get over it” I have done a lot of work and still doing work on healing! I know it’s not my fault and how my “family” has responded is not ok but I don’t focus my energy on that anymore, I see my dad very little and cut both my “mum” and brother from my life due to them being so toxic. 😥
Unbelievable how the concept of lust and just him not being to control himself destroys families and lives, how can he even look at himself in the mirror, he ain’t no man.
I am hearing you. There is not reasonable reason why you have to have anything to do wih them. I have cut off all of my family except my youngest sister. I found .... I was led to others by God who have become my family and am truly grateful for them. A few have been through the same. It is not suitable or sustainable to carry on with the abusive persons. Some can. Exceptions to the rule ay. However for most it isn't good for our mental health. I was very very young when it began and I wasn't the 1st. It was in my 12th year it stopped. 61 now. Many issues throughout my life. My children were abuse by my nephews. Son's of my abusers. It is the best solution to speak up and get it out there to everyone. Everyone needs to know. Shine a huge day light spot light on it. Stand strong we are not alone .
Thank you for sharing this Zoe. I don’t know how to say this but I relate with u in every form. I still haven’t opened up with my family about that because Ik they would never trust me. They believes in patriarchal society. They can give up they’re girl to save their boy. I’m typing this with shaky hands that even yesterday I’ve gone through this again.
#SSA needs to be included in safety talks in families
It certainly does
i didn’t realize this being committed by siblings was MORE common than anyone else. i’m so sorry to any and everyone who has been abused and i thank everyone in this video for shedding light on this. i had no clue it was this pervasive and it will definitely be something i stay considerate of moving forward.
It seems the word abuse is used to mean a plethora of thing 🤔 kids play dr its not illegal if there close in age
@@memyself6360 average predator comment
sibling abuse in general. I received broken ribs, a cracked orbital socket, still have bald patches in my hair, a deformed broken collarbone, and was covered in bruises from 6 to about 15 where i actually got bigger and stronger than my older sister and beat her to a pulp. my family knew i was being abused by her but it was just "sibling things". she was 5 years older than me. when the responsibility of babysitting was finally put on her, she would just leave me to fend for myself and care for my siblings. i remember being 10 years old and having to change my disabled 5 year old brothers nappies, and cook dinner for him and my sister, alone for hours at a time. I didnt have a single friend at that time, as i would have to turn them all away at the door, as i couldn't leave the younger ones alone.
She sexually abused me several times as a means of humiliating me. usually mocking my "anatomy". It became outright torture once i hit puberty.
to this day, i wish a painful death on my sister and i feel no shame for the raw hatred and spite I feel for her. I will rejoice at every moment of misfortune she has in her life.
I will never forgive her, and i hate "forgiveness is healing" bullshit and "take the high road". taking the high road is what lets bastards like that get away with it for so long.
Have you had any therapy? I'm an old pensioner and I can't understand abusers. Therapy is for you, yourself, you have the rest of your life to live, at the moment your life is being poisoned by hate and resentment. Forget your abusers, think of yourself and your future years. Good luck!
I really hope you get therapy and find healing. Forgiving isn’t for the other person it’s for you. When you feel hatred for her it’s not hurting her at all, but it is hurting you. I’ve been raped, beaten and abused more than once by more than one person in my life. I understand your pain, I use to be angry too, but it didn’t help me at all; I wasn’t a better person for being angry I was a hurt person. I decided I didn’t want them to have control over me anymore. There was nothing I could do about it legally, but I could chose to be happy and live my life. I’m not trying to downplay your hurt at all, I’m really not. I’m just saying by not forgiving you’re hurting yourself more and not the person who hurt you. I really hope you find healing.
Yes, there is a lot of hype around forgiving and it is complete nonsense, based loosely on religious beliefs. Never forgive, never forget. It will keep you strong. Name and shame your perpetrator at every opportunity, preferably in public. Remember that they want to comfortably walk away from their wrongdoing and forget that it ever happened. Don't let them. Punish them by forcing THEM to resurface the memory of their actions. This is particularly useful when the Law does not hold them to account. Impose your own sentence on them by flinging it in their faces at every opportunity. THAT is how you get to gain and keep the upper hand over them. Hold the line...
I know how you feel. Doesn't make it better but your not alone
I don’t think forgiving means pretending nothing happened, and being friends, but more not letting it ruin any more of your life, letting your sister go from your life and thoughts. Not easy, I know. I have people I can’t avoid, and after many years, I can’t find it in me to care about them at all. They have to live with themselves and their shit personalities, not me.
I swear some people are just born without a soul or conscience, how could you look at your younger siblings and think sexually, it's so disgusting and I feel so horribly sorry for this poor women and anyone that underwent this.
I was sexually abused for over 2 years by my oldest sister. At the time I was 10-12 and she was 19-21. There was a third party involved via Skype/messenger who would record and put it on CP websites, making profit off of my suffering. I’m currently 17 and have severe PTSD aswell as anxiety, depression, and OCD. I’m still working through it but I find it hard to feel “normal” knowing what happened and knowing there’s a great possibility that someone might recognize me from those websites. I find it comforting knowing it isn’t my fault and that there’s people out there who have been through similar stuff and it helps knowing I can possibly help others in the future by sharing my experiences and things that have helped me overcome it.
My heart breaks for the little girls these women were, the girls who were scared and confused and hurt. On the other hand, I'm in awe of the strong women they are now. I wish them great health and happiness after such early trauma.
I'm reading the comments and I'm just so taken aback by how common it is and how many family members didn't believe when they were told about it, even shunned the abused. You're all beautiful people for sharing and you're not alone.
I’m glad that this subject is being brought up .
I am so sorry to all those that this has happened too.
May God bless you, it is not your fault.🙏
My repressed memories of 3-yr old me and my oldest half brother at 22 caused a nervous breakdown. I was glad I remembered biting him too.😌 I never told anyone but my sister who probably told his wife and daughters.
I was sexually abused by my older brother and I spoke up about it and I no longer have many family members who I talk to anymore because he is so good at lying. I don't think I can get anything legally done about it. I'm hoping that he doesn't have any idea where I live anymore.
I get that. My stepbrother who was my age at the time either molested me, or abused me. I’m still trying to figure out which one it is. We were both 8. I have no idea if it would be molesting, but im trying to figure it out, and I also have no idea if anyone would believe me.
Wow! I needed to see this. I really need help getting through this trauma.
❤
Good luck sis. I hope you find the right kind of help. xx
My older sister used to sexually assault me and sexually harrass me in private and infront of my parents and infront of our friends. Nobody ever did anything or said anything. Nobody stopped her. Sometimes she was encouraged or rewarded to repeat the trauma on me as if it was funny and I was the butt of the joke and I do mean that in a literal sense it was horrific and dehumanizing on a level I cannot even fully articulate. The shame and humiliation and helplessness and terror and anger and defeat I feel is on an unimaginable scale.
Sibling sexual abuse and sibling sexual trauma is real. Being held down and forced to be on the receiving end of disgusting things being done to your body without your consent and out of your control is the most inhuman thing I can think of. And then the bystanders who watch or laugh while it's happening to you. Vile.
im finally speaking up and waiting to speak to the police, staying silent over the years has destroyed me and the relationships ive been in as i havent wanted sexual contact with that on my mind. im waiting now to do a VI with the police which will be hard but im hoping as im in therapy it will help me heal. so brave speaking out. thanks for sharing your story.
Good luck, you too are very courageous and I hope you are getting the required support throughout the process, again please know you can reach out to SARSAS.
It happened to me to. I’m 61 and it still gives me issues. Sucks. Hope you both are doing well. 🙏❤️. You are brave for sure.
It boggles my mind sometimes how long and how deeply devastating child sex abuse is. I’m 52, my life has been forever impacted to the point of destruction from abuse. Hugs my fellow survivor.
Hug's to both of you, I'm 65 and what happened to me as a child the rape's and brutal beatings live with me every single day
It changes who we were supposed to be
We definitely was cheated in life
@@jennie3186 Thanks Jenny. It definitely does and it’s generational, “bloodline trauma”, my trauma affects my children and so on. I’ve done a lot of work to heal but it never truly leaves I don’t think.
xx Melissa.
This can be difficult when the abuser is a younger sibling. They can just claim that it isn't possible because they are younger.
I’m the eldest of 3 siblings, I’m their protector, their guardian. My parents always told us that siblings protect each other. It is very difficult for me to wrap my mind around the fact that not all siblings are like us. My brothers are my life, it angers me that this happens. I later learned my mom was a victim of sibling abuse. We also knew a family that my mom never wanted us to play with. It later came out that the mom allowed the dad to watch p*rn in front of the kids and they even made them do things to each other for their amusement. The eldest boy unalived himself because he couldn’t live with the guilt of what he was doing to his siblings or that his urges were unnaturally strong (apparently he wrote a note and thats how the police found out) and the others had to go to a hospital because their minds broke. I don’t know what happened to them later in life but it always made me sad. People really don’t know the power of p*rn and the things it does to people. My dad’s siblings forced him to watch it as well and he got severe anger issues thanks to it.
So brave to speak out. I guess I did not realize this happened in many families and therefore, I was lucky with my big family. I’m really sorry to hear this for people and I am just shocked that these siblings don’t know right from wrong and worse, don’t get prosecuted for their abuse.
Its pretty natural
@@memyself6360 ....excuse me?
I have been molested multiple times by family members my mom's creepy friend . I was raped at the age of 13. My mother never cared . She only cared about the drugs and alcohol.I will never leave my daughter around anyone alone.
Im sorry that happened to you 💙
Glad to see people brave enough to face this head on. Because when you reach the age of understanding what it was, it feels gross. You feel embarrassed even if you hadn’t initiated anything.
My family was effected by foster children who were abused, they were just repeating their abuse. Sometimes you don’t know what they’ve suffered and what they bring with them. If you do choose to open your home to foster children, make sure your own children are old enough to speak up for themselves.
Thank you for sharing Rachel. Yes educating professionals, parents, carers, siblings and children will go a huge way in trying to prevent this. As you say in some cases some children who have been abused repeat the abuse therefore with more education children can be educated at an earlier age, others can be protected the chances of the cycle of abuse continuing can be minimised.
Im 71 my brother is nearly 80. I never told anyone. My mother was a narcissist; my father, we now believe was Asperger’s and never involved himself in anything. My brother never forced me, or told me not to tell. We never told our parents anything. It was the only touch I got as a child, none of us were hugged, kissed or loved. I learned to exchange sex for love. He is and has been a loving husband, dad and granddad. My birth family is so fragmented, thanks to our parents, I’m not going to make it any worse.
Omg, im so sorry...but that's is so wrong
I am sorry but that age difference between you was a power asymmetry, and this was very wrong. I understand that at this point you want to let things go, but he knew better even if you didn't. This is grooming.
@@adrianalisitza5543 I now understand it was wrong but I’m not going to break up his family for something that happened decades ago. Yes it skewed my idea of love. Now at nearly 72 I’m in therapy to find some peace at last with my childhood. He ‘played’ a minor role, my mother was the major person who screwed up all 4 of us.
@@jcjhudson I totally get where you are coming from, and I agree with your reasoning. 💖
You are amazing, and I do hope you find huge healing in your therapy.
I am a survivor, and I am also a counsellor since 2009. One of my most amazing clients was a lady in her 70s who came to me for three years because she was abused from the age of 5 - 23! She did a wonderful healing journey, and later some of her family members initially didn't recognize her at a family event because she looked so different! 😊
All the best. 🌿
@@GypsyGirl317 thank you 🙏
I feel like I’m a way I was very lucky because my brother was arrested, found guilty and spent 4 years in prison. He now has to register as a sex offender for the rest of his life.
The incest started when I was 3 and stopped around 9 or 10....because he moved out.
And yes, I was silenced by fear.
I started talking about it when I was in my 30's.
I find it such a relieve for me that people are willing nowadays to share their story. These stories have really helped me. Thanks for sharing, It takes so much courage. As an adult survivor of child sexual abuse from my male half sibling, I have just in the last 2 years being able to speak my truth and even speak with the Police. People who have not gone through such a terrible experience for me have no understanding of how it affects your life growing up in so many ways. We are survivors.
Just putting this out there that California recently extended the statute of limitations for child s** abuse. This issue is so tragic but there are people willing to listen to you. Filing a report ,even later , puts that on record forever and if they recorded it will instantly corroborate your story even if theres no evidence since it was a long time ago. This issue causes generational trauma and is so sad.
We were abused by most every male family member as well as our mothers bf's. My brother ended up in prison for the rape of a 12 yr old and my uncle was on FBI's most wanted after a rape. I am now told by family that my brother served his time and I should let it go.
No one understands that it isn't my choice to let go. I was raped at 3 for the first time. There has never been a night that has passed that I could sleep without help. I have never had a sexual encounter where I didn't throw up after.
I am now 55 and have been celibate for 13 yrs....gladly. I thank God I am no longer attractive to men. I purposefully gained weight and don't do hair or make up. It is the only way I have found any peace other than my faith. I have forgiven but will never forget. It's ingrained in me. Most men are not safe given the chance. That is wrong I know but my reality thus far and not just me. I only have ever had 1 friend who has never experienced some form of sexual abuse or harassment. Its disgusting.
I’m so sorry you went through that. No, don’t let it go if you are not ready to. That family took something important from you. I’m wishing you, and all the other survivors, peace and happiness ❤
That’s horrible. You’re awesome to be able to keep on going. I’m the only girl in my family that hasn’t been assaulted yet, and I’m terrified. I think I’ve almost been multiple times, since they told me their stories I’ve been alert about it. I’ve been groomed but managed to realize it before it got too far. I’m afraid of everyone, and in recent years my anxiety has gotten so bad that I can’t leave my house. I feel like it’s only a matter of time. Every place I’ve been had creeps, my school, my work, police. It’s scary.
Hibaby
I am so sorry for what happened to you, the repeated abuse by many family members and the life-long impacts you are still having to deal with. You are 100% right 'no one understands' because it happened to you, you are still suffering from something that should never have happened and that wasn't your fault. We hear you and we see you.
This happened to me with my older and younger brother. My mother knew about it both times but refused to really address it. Maybe because it happened to her too 😟
This situation really effected my life because nobody outside of my mom, my 2 older twin brothers and my little brother knew.. until right now 😢
I'm sorry that happened to you and that you weren't safe in your own home. I hope you have a safe place now.
I read what you said about your mother not doing anything, my heart ached for you. I hope everything works out for you sis.
Melissa. xxx
@@ninam4066 yes, I am. I had to walk away from "my family" but it was worth it. Thank you for your kind words.
@@NotFalling4it I appreciate your kind words ❤ I'm doing much better and learning how to heal the wounds from the past in order to have a successful future as an adult.. My spirituality and therapy is definitely helping me along my journey.
I too, came from a large family where there was much sexual abuse by older brothers to younger sisters and brothers. My mother could not respond appropriately with protection but instead shamed the one reporting the abuse. It has taken me 50 years to process this traumatic upbringing ……Education, respect for another’s boundaries and effective parenting that is not heavily tainted by religious doctrines would have been a good start to a safe childhood. Empathy is where it all begins…..rather than threat of violence …
I grew up never questioning how safe I was, or that there was ANY way else to live. But, sadly, FAR MORE children than EVER suspected...NEVER ENJOYED THAT LUXURY...
I was sexually abused by my older brother when I was 17 years old and he was 21 and when I told my mother about it she told me not to tell anyone about it so I wouldn’t cause trouble for him. And so I wouldn’t embarrass the family. And that was and is til this day so heartbreaking for me. I feel she doesn’t care about the pain it’s caused me. I have since distanced myself from her and the rest of my family I miss home a lot but she continues to support my brother and he lives in her house. Sometimes I miss my parents and I wanna come home but I dont feel comfortable with him being there. I would think my mom would’ve kicked him out but instead I’m living on my own in my one bedroom studio while he gets to sleep at mommy’s house. He is the oldest sibiling and still continues to use my parents and have them support him, even after he did this to me.
Your mom is using him as a crutch. That’s why she’s enabling him. Just continue to live on your own. You should visit if you can mentally tolerate it. They’re the only family you get and it’s a lonely world-but be careful not to put yourself in a vulnerable position with them. Always have your own and make your own way
@@aubreyjames8795 thank you I appreciate that 🤞🏼god bless you
@@P3ach3sncr3amm perdón, yo le hubiese quemado ahí, esa parte tan importante para él, con agua hirviendo, y a mi madre le hubiese dicho:"todo paso porque tú, te has hecho la ciega y sorda" .
@@lelitagupta880 tienes La razon
I am so sorry you are dealing with this. It is heartbreaking. Just know that this is not your fault. You did nothing wrong. If you need to go home for a visit go. By not going you are punishing yourself as it is hurting you. If you go be sure to go under your terms and leave as soon as you feel uncomfortable. YOU matter! XX
This is why you don't leave kids alone together for any extended period of time, not even your own kids. There always needs to be adult present. And keep the age gapped kids separated, a 15 years has no need to hang out with an 8 year old cousin.
My brother was only 2 years older, so that’s not a full proof plan.
I was babysat at 8 by 15yo.. never molested but siblings should be able to trust each other. It’s deeper than always have an adult present. Something happened to the perpetrator
@@freetobree5323 I’ve thought about that. But I also think, some people are wired that way. They’re born like that. It’s just the way they are. My brother was the golden child. Everyone adored him. No one would believe he was capable of anything like what he did to me. Years later he was convicted of statutory rape. He had sex with an underage girl, and her parents found out. To this day, no one in my family knows what he did to me. I alluded to the fact with my aunt, but she chose to change the subject.
@@TheFairyintheFishBowl I’m so sorry that happened to you. I agree that some people probably do have an affinity for sexual deviance..I feel like since he was the golden child, there were probably early signs they either chose to ignore or innocently overlooked..especially if they act like they didn’t know what was happening to you. It seems like your parents weren’t very intuitive..
Absolutely!!! I lived by this rule with my 2 kids. 8 yr age gap and unfortunately it still happened. As there are always small enough moments where you let your guard down. If I could do it over I never would take my eyes off of my daughter. As it destroyed my family and damaged my children for life. They are now adults and it still impacts their lives daily
A sibling exposed themselves to me and asked me what I thought about it. I have never brought up the subject with them. I have mentioned it to other siblings, I don't know that I should have. Our family is very fractured in more recent years. I experienced a lot of abuse from my mother (not sexual), but sa from my grandmother. It's shocking that it goes on. I'm now in my sixties but you don't forget.
Thank you for shedding light on this dark and tough topic of trauma. ❤
These are very brave women. I wish them well with the rest of their lives, free of the burden they didn't deserve to carry.
To begin with, I am so sorry that this sexual violation happened to you by a sibling who you trust and loved. I commend you all for having the courage to standing up for yourselves and cast the shame on those who violated you. Society fails to protect one child because her perpetrator was only 14! It's send a terrible message to those who continue victimize others knowing they will get away with it! But they won't! In due time they shall get what they deserve and more! As for Carole, I am glad you got justice and your perpetrator went to JAIL. I pray that he got what he deserved IN JAIL I'm sending you all lots of peace and love, and wishing you all the best for now and years to come. THANK YOU FOR STANDING UP FOR YOURSELVES.
It was very hard to hide the sexual abuse. I was in my late 40's before I told anyone of the sexual abuse. I lived in silence for years. The fact that it was a family member made it all the more difficult for me to understand. I have a feeling that she had been abused as well, and that she may have been repeating a pattern. I have been through a lot of therapy over the past 7 years, and I would encourage anyone who has been through this to seek help.
I too was abused my older sister. It started when I was 5 years old. She would always include it in play. It made it incredibly hard for me to have a fulfilling sexual relationship with a man and I am not attracted to women. Needless to say it screwed me up pretty bad. I have to believe something happened to her and that it was learned from somewhere else. The sad part is most victims go on to victimize. I'm so sorry you went through this and I'm glad that you are on the journey to healing. You are so incredibly brave to share and you are so incredibly strong. ♥
I am glad that all of you are strong and have moved past the abuse as much as you can. It was not your fault, and you deserve to have full, happy lives. I would have a very difficult time being around the offender, if I could at all.
This happened in my family of 4 boys and 5 girls. And father. I'm 50 and am still affected to this day along with my sisters. Some of my brothers were abused by other males an some have turned around and abused others.
My brother and his friend molested me when I was 5. I had already been molested by a neighbor at 2. Then at 9, my mother's friends husband tried to rape me. I told my parents every time, but nothing was ever done and never spoken of again. My brain partially blocked out the incident with my brother, and for years I knew something happened, but I couldn't recall the details. Over the years, things would trigger the memory and it took 50 years for me to finally remember it. My brother called me and told me it was him and that he was so sorry. We haven't talked about it again. My mother kept bringing it up with the wrong perpetrator, so I had to tell her that it was my brother. She didn't believe me. I learn early on that I didn't have anybody I could trust or count on.
Its so important to talk to your kids. And listen when they talk.
This happened to me as a child.. never told my mother. when I was a teenager he come over to my home and I was alone..I threaten to shoot him like a rabid dog..he smirked and left. I for one did not feel shame when I came to understand what had happened to me. I was a preyed upon.. the most heinous act inflicted upon an innocent child....I spoke of my sexual assault to friends..family..strangers who broached such topic's I do not wear the label victim..I wear a badge of courage.. when my brother was dying..I told him I forgive you...
how brave. we have to smash the idea that these sick abuse cases should be swept under the rug just because they are your brother or sister.
Thank you for sharing this incredibly hard situation you all went through. Just know you’re brave and hopefully this helps others as well!
There will come a time when it will be taught to children. They need to know what boundaries are and have a system for reporting abuse. The potential abusers need taught too because they start at 14yrs old...In fact it's alarming how it isn't taught to both adults and children..
The reason kids aren't taught about boundaries because uptight conservatives believe that subjects like that aren't "age-appropriate". Conservatism drives unhealthy relationships and silences victims.
Actually younger than that.
They start even younger
@@JoyFay when they are a lot younger than that there is a very real element of normal development stage of exploring bodies that is completely innocent. 💖
It is when there is a power imbalance with one child being older, and when a sexual element develops that a line is crossed and it becomes abuse.
Unfortunately due to the sexualisation of society, including children, the lines between normal human development phases and sexual abuse are becoming increasingly blurred, and anxiety around these experiences is increasing, which is sad. 😔
It is when children
They teach it at my son's school in the progressive state I live. He came home with a worksheet about boundaries, how it is okay to say "STOP" during a tickling game even if you were having fun to begin with, things like that. But parents also need to learn to respect children's boundaries. It always happens in families where children aren't respected and have no personal autonomy, such as with corporal punishment. Children need to know their bodies are their OWN no gray areas
My Mother is very out spoken woman, she has my ex husbands head on a platter for over 25 years we’ve been apart over things I’ve long let go of. When it comes to my sexual abuse w brother, radio silence. Zero acknowledgment. All it would’ve taken is supportive words, that’s it. She’s broken this up. It’s unbelievable.I just told her a few months ago but my oldest daughter told her 20 years ago. Never one single word to ask if I was okay. It’s like I’m venting to the world online here as she was my biggest advocate or so I though. It’s really unfathomable.
Thank you for speaking out 🧡
Happened to me for my entire childhood. Finally told when I was an adult. Mom sides with my abuser. 🤡 (Disabled and I actually live with her - trying and failing to get on disability)
Keep fighting for your disability and independence! Disability takes a long time to come through.
@@staceywilliams1863 I automatically don’t qualify because I have the “wrong type of seizures” and haven’t worked enough years total to qualify in Missouri. Id just be wasting my time.
@@reeesecastillo I’m in Australia and disability is hard to get here as well. I worked in the department that assessed the claims. My advice to you is to get a hold of the Social Policy Law, the law that they base their decisions on - read it and learn exactly how they assess the claims. If you have any trouble, go to a disability advocate. Also try getting assessed for PTSD, Anxiety, Depression - they are disabilities and you may be entitled to be assessed on that criteria as well.
If you need any help please let me know. I might be in a different country but I know how to interpret the laws and legislations so I could be of some help - Ive advocated and fought for a number of people to get disability and never lost a battle yet.
I know you say you haven’t worked long enough but in my experience there’s a loophole around most things, they just don’t tell you. It’s the same here, they don’t tell you …. “Well, you can actually qualify based on (insert legislation nobody knew existed).
So sorry for what you experienced and the added layer that comes with your moms response to disclosure. Reese I hope you get on disability.
I was sexually abused for many years by my older brother. My parents knew but apart from talking to him to stop, did nothing. I am autistic and as such as a child with crippling social anxiety could not speak out to teachers or friends parents or police. I so wish I had.
I was called nuts and in need of medication in an intimidating manner by a female police officer when I tried to report the abuse I have seen with my own eyes in my family
Its hard. I wish my abuser had gotten help as well as myself and my younger sister. Everything was swept under the rug. He's tried to take his own life many times over the years and I've often wondered if he's gone on to abuse others. I haven't spoken to anyone for almost 20 years. I can't pretend like it didnt happen.
I was abused 30 years ago and just told my mom today
How sad. I’m reading comments and so many people experienced this.. I can’t believe there are so many survivors. God bless you all, my heart goes out to all of you.
Older brothers little sisters - keep a close watch
Truly sad when your family is responsible for abusing you. The people meant to love and protect you just doing the complete opposite. Dated a man once who was troubled, he was aboit 4 or 5 years older than me. He eventually admitted to me that he was sexually abused repeatedly by his older half brother. To this day I dont beleive he has told anyone in his family and he would occasionally see that brother at family get together. We didn't stay together long because he was very promiscuous. The 1st time I knew him his partner count was 20 something. Less than a year later he visits and the count was now in its 40's. He actually expected me to just give in and sleep with him again but I was beyond disgusted so I told him no repeatedly. Needless to say he had no interest if he couldn't get laid, he went through lots of confusion on his sexuality and stated he was gay for a while then went back to being straight. It comes down to mentally messing the person up when a family member gets away with that level of abuse. I pray he did the right thing after he got married to his wife and got help so they stand a chance. The half brother deserves to face legal repercussions and be put on a watch list for predators. Def doesn't deserve to live a happy full life after what he did thats for sure.
3 of my 4 brothers sexually abused me. Their friends as well. My family said I was a lyer and my parents physically abused me. Mentally abused me. Just for speaking up when it happened. That was around 7 and it was being done to me since very very young. It stoped at 12. My sisters knew what was going on but didn't say anything. They had it done to them and they said nothing to our parents. It wasn't until my younger brother said something in his 40s that everything was talked about. By then 3 of my nephews had sexually abused my daugther and my son. Again my parents said I had a problem and my mother tried to help my ex husband take custody of my children. So no even after forgiving everyone there is no meaningful relationship with any of my siblings (8) apart from 1. Nothing with my surviving parent either. My father died hating me for speaking out. They still haven't stepped up to say sorry . 2 brothers did but even that wasn't enough at the time and since then it hasn't changed. Our mother still doesn't believe it all. She still has an axe to throw at me. So for you who have a good standing with your abusers, good on you. Well done. It is welcoming to hear that others are out there and willing to speak up about it.
It started with my oldest brother being sexually abused by his uncle and grandfather then he abused my sisters and other brother. That other brother abused me and two of my other siblings. When my younger brother died of a drug overdose, I spoke up. I spoke about my receiving sexual abuse by my older brother joe and was scapegoated and ostracized. He even called my grieving mother and told her I was lying about it all. I was 45.
You did the right thing trying to speak out. They did the wrong but predictable thing turning on you.
Every time I see a traumatic story pop up somewhere, I’m always like, “oh, I met a girl in rehab who-“… I mean I’ve heard it all, so many sad sad stories. I even was in a rehab with a man who was just a few cells over from Dahmer in the early 90s
Not a surprise. Trauma leads to addiction. Wishing you well
Children unfortunately do things that will impact their lives and the lives of others. I myself was abused by my older brother. Then found myself in that horrible situation with my own 2 kids. My son was abusing my daughter. I had the police involved and did everything to stop it the moment I discovered it. Treatment programs, therapy and more. However I now about 16 yrs later still feel horrible for the choice I made to report it. As it ruined my family, and my kids relationship. My son has lived full of guilt and shame since 15 when it was discovered. My daughter feels guilt and shame for ruining our family and his life. He has never reoffended or shown any predatory behaviours. He has lived a life of constant suicidal behaviours. So has my daughter. She had to grieve the loss of her big brother. I often wish I just stopped it and dealt with it on my own. I was abused by my older brother and have had a decent relationship with him. Having been in 3 positions regarding sibling abuse has given me insight from all angles. Having to advocate for both the victim and perpetrator as a parent was very hard. Unfortunately our society doesn’t have the tools to help families heal properly from this.
I don’t know what to say that might bring you something positive, but am touched by your story. Wishing you and your children peace ❤
@@Gypsywandering400 thank you💕
I’m deeply moved by your story. I don’t currently feel free to share my own publicly. I pray that all of you can find healing in grace. 🙏🏻✝️🕊
huge bravery
it happens in all walks of life and religions
I was abused by a fellow female child. My abuse was downplayed because it wasn't an adult.
wow, the adults Said I was lying, under 5 yrs old, one time, and my life was forever changed, 50 years later and 17 years of good mental health psychiatry and counseling, I am a survivor, so are you
I have a friend who was sexually abused by her brother for years. Her mother wouldn't believe her.
This is so sad 😥
I never told my parents but a boyfriend of mine told them when I was 43. I didn't want him to tell them, he did it to hurt them and hurt me, he was sadistic that way. Also told me i probably liked it. Sick f!!
My parents never spoke of it, and never will.
You are both so brave
Important to hightligh this topic.
Importantlyly not all families deal with this as they should. To keep it behind closed doors, protectecting abuser and family reputation. Victims need more support and information on where they stand in law to help them when abuser is also a child ect.
Yikes. My mom's sister's son molested daughter of another sister. Ever since that day, I've been fearing to touch my sister. I've never done it in my life but I keep on searching for earliest memories to find out if I've done it. I can't find any...Did I forget it? I'd like to turn myself in to the prison if I've done it. As a older sister, the idea of abusing younger sister is like a nightmare to me. I can't feel comfortable when she hugs me. My mind would tell me, "it's inappropriate. Don't hug her" then push her away. I've been ignoring her. She thinks I hate her :-(
I can't even bring myself to touch her hair anymore like I used to in the past because her hair is amazing.
I feel for all victims. You'll are valid.
Don't punish your self for something you can't remember. You know what is right and wrong. You can still have a good relationship with your sister. Just maintain boundaries.
@@hyrunnisa997 Thanks! I reached out to my therapist and psychiatrist as well because it has gotten so bad that I also started to have same thoughts with other children. I recently got diagnosed with POCD. I'm relieved that I'm not an abuser but unfortunately, it's still a torture. It keeps on giving me intrusive thoughts about children and I have compulsions that makes me avoid children.
Theres no way in HELL im going to keep anyone in my life who refuses to acknowlege what they did and use age to play dumb.
I'm 65 it wasn't a sibling but my dad and uncles.
Happened to lots of us. You are not alone. It’s life destroying. Hugs to you.
Oh my word-- so awful!!! Prayers for healing and much love.
I'm so sorry. Hugs from another survivor.
Its seem when it happen within sibling/cousins, it is the adults starting the abuse when the children are very young and they repeat the pattern within the families. Hopefully these people can work through these horrible destructive issues and they don't repeat their rage out on others for what happen to them when they were very young.
Thank you brave people for your life stories. The fact is that many, many evil things happen behind the doors and walls of seemingly nice, good homes and families- Tragic but real. So much cruelty and deception. What I've discovered is that there are forces at work in all our lives to destroy and often they do, but there is also another Force Who has promised LIFE abundantly. His name is Jesus and when we begin to understand and believe just what it is that He's provided for us humans through His death, His blood and resurrection, when we put our faith in His finished work, we can begin to recover and receive healing and wholeness- in fact a New Life. He's promised to wash us whiter than snow by His blood- there is power in Jesus' blood! His promise is to 'restore the years that canker worm has destroyed' (Joel 2:25) He can and will give back a new life. Just call His name- He's waiting for you today.
MAY GOD BLESS THEM FOREVER AND EVERMORE...🙏❤️
I felt this because I’m the baby outta 5 kids and 2 miscarriages plus my half brother sexually abused me when I was 11 and 12 plus I have autism I couldn’t tell my special Ed teacher about it when I got to middle school my 6th grade year because she liked my mom and I was scared to tell her about it because my brother had a gun at home plus he pointed it at me when I was 11 and he’s 21 year old friend gave him that gun I kept this silent for years off my life till my aunt got killed in 2021 plus my mom has favoritism so she favoritism’s my sister and brother plus there dads over my dad and me and I’m my dads only child so for the people out there going thru this ik and it still traumatized me to this day I was sexual abuse by my uncle my moms brother in elementary school my brother in middle school and basketball players in high school so my situation is sad and difficult to bear 😔😔😔😔
If one of my sons did this I’d call the police.
Speaking out cost me EVERYTHING.
Without any justice these sick persons think they can get away with it next time they sexual abuse someone. It upsets me that the police and the politicians don’t do their job. They have lost bravery and mind. I guess they got woke.
Hello dear, how are you doing?
@@franklinstephen3268 I’m doing just fine. Can’t complain about much. Thank you.
@@bentemoen119 Stay strong no matter what’s its the lord shall be your strength. It nice meeting with you here. Where are you texting from?
@@franklinstephen3268 I’m texting probably a good distance from were you live. I live in Norway. And you?
If anyone knows more about this than I do, please feel free to reply. How can I determine what is normal curiosity between children, and what crossed that line into abuse? What if both children are the same age? I’m trying to wrap my head around some of my own childhood experiences. I appreciate any responses.
Yes!
Am not saying that I know more. Just common sense. I guess when a child feels uncomfortable and try to stop whatever they're doing, but the other is forcing to continue doing it, then it has crossed the line.
@@userxyz77 I agree with you 👍🏾.
My brother and cousins and I did the normal "doctor" play as curiosity and it was brief and innocent, and completely comfortable for us all at the time. This is the normal stuff of childhood, and is generally before the age of nine or ten.
At thirteen a close friend and I looked at each other's breasts and gently touched out of curiosity too. Again, a completely normal phase of social development.
We are both heterosexual and have long been healthy adults.
The times it becomes abuse is when one child/young person is older, and there is a power difference between the two.
If it is not consensual, or if "consent" is coerced, it's abuse.
When a child is not comfortable and they ask for it to stop but their pleas are ignored, it's abuse.
If it goes on for a period of time, and if the bigger/older child threatens the younger/more vulnerable one into silence, it's abuse.
It often begins as curiosity, then quickly becomes sexual. That's when the line is crossed as well.
Quite often the perpetrator will have also been a victim previously, though not in every case, necessarily.
It's far more common than we have previously realised.
We also have to be thoughtful and not translate every childhood experience as abusive, when many experiences are simply a normal part of our human development process. 💖 😊 🙆🏻♀️ 🌿 👍🏾
I was a nurse for many years, and I have been a counsellor since 2009, and I hope this is helpful. 💖
I agree with the last posts. I think most kids do weird things with which ever kids are around when they’re discovering new stuff, BUT when there’s a change in the power dynamic, and one is exploiting the other for whatever gain, then it is abuse.
Our neighbour (he and his wife were very good friends to my mum and step father) attempted to abuse me when I was about 7. While on our own he began to undo my trousers. I was scared and surprised and reacted and he (thankfully) stopped , said ' don't say anything' and I ran back home. He did not try again. I did not say anything until, in my 50's I told my Mum who did not rrally react and did not really want to know. I found out years later that the neighbour and his wife and my mum and step father had a very 'close' friendship, would play strip poker together. The latter knce took my sister aged 9 to a couples house, put her to bed with their daughter and then had sex with the other couple. My sister, who was upset, disturbed them and was taken home. The following day she was told that it 'never happened' she must have had a bad dream.
Your 50 yrs old like really please remember what brings people pain and misery is the past! Declare war on it and go through life as victorious not ask the victim
@@nymelemorgan8074 ?🤔
@@lifesforliving4929 I have a saying that if the grown-ups keep crying what are the babies going to do! This is life, whatever you can think about is happening at this very moment! I was sexually abused when I was young but now I am a grandfather and I refuse to keep playing the victim roll the person that did that to me is perhaps dead and it happened in the 70's it's 2022 and I'm still crying trying to be the certain of attention nah I can start living life or keep holding onto the past and whatever I went through there's someone who had it worser and only became stronger instead of crying about the PAST! and I totally understand that everyone isn't the same that's why there will always be victims and victorious ones
@@lifesforliving4929 look up this book called The 33 strategies of war by Robert Greene it's a beautiful book and it will help you become victorious
@@nymelemorgan8074 I left home at 17 and made my own way through life, never looked back, I responded to the video relating my early experience, that's all. I'm 68 now, I've enjoyed a successful career, now retired. My wife and I celebrated our 40th anniversay in July, we have a daughter who has been nurtured with love and supported and that has been a joy to do. I'm not whining and I'm sorry if it read that way. It wasn't meant to.
I want a place to register this truth then a Royal Commission to fine the perpetrators .All children need guidance about the privacy of their bodies and incest taboo. VERY younger siblings are not moral enough to understand the crime .
It happend to me! YOU NEED TO SPEAK UP!!! or else they go on............
MY older brother did this.......he was 11 years older. But he is free, nobody did anything about it even thou it stopped when i told my mother.
i was told 'my hormones are going crazy, please...'
It's hard to learn if teen abusers realised enough or not. If they didn't realise, it's also their trauma. But if they did realise... They get no punishment, and as adults - do they apologize sincerely?
Im not justifying anything, but it also makes me wonder what is wrong with the sibling that is doing the abusing. Like if they are just children themselves, why are they like that?
they are very often themselves victims - maybe of someone who is not around anymore (as these are mostly older siblings). Or there are also families with a very low self control and moral levels. I recently saw a documentary about families who engaged in incest for generations and even after the trial some of them didn't understand what's wrong.
It is many, many different things. Sometimes they are victims of abuse themselves, sometimes they are exposed to pornography and curious or confused about the things they have seen, sometimes they are just curious, and sometimes just evil monsters who have no conscience. There are so many different things and every case is individual and different so it is so hard to determine a single cause. My brother for instance, I don’t believe he was bad, and I also don’t think he was ever abused himself (but can’t be certain) and yet he still did things to me. I think he was just confused and curious and I was available… that sounds horrible but that’s what it was for him. I don’t even think he knew it was wrong, and he made me believe that it was ok, and so I went along with it. Everybody is different, and so is every reason for abuse.
Wow! Just wow!
Idk why i keep watching this stuff. I wish i could just move on.
When u don't tell...it continues on...
I wish there was more info for parents on what to look for
Simply ask children about their relationships. Teach children about boundaries then ask if anyone has crossed the boundaries. It’s not rocket science.
@@iamiam4015 it is though. I have never told anybody about what my brother did to me, despite my mother constantly telling me as a child what to look for, and teaching me about boundaries and all that. I was very well informed, but never said anything, because my brother had made me believe that it was ok, and that it wasn’t wrong because he was my brother and I could trust him. To this day my parents don’t know, and it was almost 20 years ago. It’s not just as simple as asking children questions or even giving them all the info you can…
My mom found out my step brother ...her bio son...she told my father which is my bio dad. This was in 1978. He has never spoke to me since. I can't say anything because the only other ppl that knew are dead now. So I am here alone while my bio brother hates me as well because I caught him in my bedroom I shared with my sister when I came from the shower. I didn't want to embarrass him so I just went back into the bathroom while he !eft out. Told my mom she told dad.
There you go! Rock and roll.
My question is, how did they learn about perpetrating the abuse? Were they abused too?
Not always. Some of them, my brother being one, was most likely influenced by pornography exposure at a young age, by older friends who talk about things, and that makes them curious, or just curiosity in general when puberty hits, and it’s a case of the sibling victim just being there and available. That’s how it was for me. I honestly believe to this day, that my brother genuinely did not know it was wrong at the time… whether he knows now, or even remembers it, is another story.. but it’s not always a case of the abuser being abused as well… there are many, many things that can cause this behaviour from people. Some are just born with it in their nature, some are not educated enough to know that it is wrong, and so just act on their curiosity, some are just evil and narcissistic and don’t care.. and some repeat patterns of abuse that they have experienced themselves…and so much more.
@@teefarox92 Is there such a thing as “just evil”? I wonder if people with no empathy like narcissists are damaged by trauma rather than born that way. I take your point that the child might be influenced by porn rather than having experienced abuse themselves, but if some kids genuinely don’t know it’s wrong, how do they know to keep it a secret from their parents?
@@Gypsywandering400 That’s a good point. In my case, I think it’s incompetent parenting. But the whole nature vs nurture argument when it comes to narcissism and psychopathy and all that, is an argument that has been raging for years. I believe some people are more prone to becoming that way, and then trauma or some sort of big event will happen to trigger those behaviours. For some it’s more severe than others. I believe Evil is born but some can lay dormant and come out after a trauma, and some just exists and develops on its own. I guess everybody is different. I also think that maybe some people just don’t talk about what they do. I never told my parents about anything I was doing, neither did my brothers. So, in my case at least, even if it was like he didn’t know it was wrong, I don’t think he would have told anyone anyway… at least not our parents. And friends and peers wouldn’t take things like that seriously. All these things are so individual and every person and situation is completely different, which is why it is so hard to determine why it happens.. and so hard to prosecute. Because every case is different. I am absolutely NOT condoning this at all, I’m just saying it’s not as easy as it seems to be.
@@teefarox92 Yes, it’s a minefield. I am sure you’re right that each case is individual in all sorts of circumstances. What is shared between all victims, however, is the pain. I hope you’re taking good care of yourself.
The thing about people with no empathy, perhaps it is in some way genetically predisposed, as you mention. It’s my human instinct that tells me it’s a reaction to a profound feeling of being unloved and unwanted early in life, in some cases in the womb, and the earlier this reaction was established, the harder it is for the individual to grow beyond it.
I was abused all my life by my fucking half brother, he destroyed me, I will never heal, doesn't matter what.
May my story of being sexually abused as a child in union city New Jersey be a testimony for others as I come into union with my god ordained spouse. Thank you for the strength Jesus Christ please restore my peace. I feel like someone tired to take my spouse away as a child because my light was shining so bright even as a child I was set me up to be abused. My mother betrayed me in order to keep a relationship with my abusers father and I’m still living with her I need your prayers to get out Jesus knows and sees all and brought back my faith I give my Heavenly Father my lord and savior all the praise thank you! I will never be put to shame ever again, god restores to me whatever was destroyed or taken from me. I am a child of god. I am victorious.
God please be my defense and my shield. I give you all the praise and worship.