IF YOU LIKED THIS VIDEO, CHECKOUT MY OTHER VIDEOS & CONSIDER SUBSCRIBING! :) UPDATED THOUGHT: I often think guys put too much pressure on "asking girls out". A beneficial way of thinking could be shifting to just simply talking to that girl more, saying hi to that girl, asking that girl a question, giving a girl a compliment, flirting and talking with girls, or just simply getting to know a girl more. See what I am saying? Build to it, rather than putting so much pressure on "asking a girl out". Also just try to be more social with everyone in general so talking with a girl you're attracted to isn't as big of a deal. Getting out of our comfort zones, courage, being vulnerable, and going for it is key, but let's make this process more natural if the situation allows. All the best brothers!
+Chris Martyn Same for me, and it stresses me out to the point I just say "Fuck it" I'm not going to bother even thinking about it anymore. Just sucks because I will probably die a virgin haha. I am already 30 so unless I approach a girl and ask her, I'm quite certain I could stroll through the rest of my life without ever experiencing love or intimacy with a girl. I mean, I've made it this far without even talking to a girl..
Other people respect a guy who has the balls to ask out a girl. Even if rejected, they'll respect your courage. 100%. But, you can't live life shackled to caring what other people think of us!! Gotta live our own lifes! Fuck what other's think of you, do what you want to do brother!!
SAME, my BIGGEST fear is how other people will think of me. This one kid has recently been asking a bunch of girls out and me and my buds make fun of him all the time. So at this point I feel like other people will do the same. But I do have to say, even after I laugh with my friends about him, deep down I'm jealous that he has the balls to actually ask these girls out (These are the kinds of girls you look at and say "They're out of my league"). He got rejected by I think 9 girls (Not exaggerated, I can recall their names) I've heard of now, but he keeps going.
robert s I don't think most people fear death. We fear having a horrible, painful death, but death itself, and what lies ahead of it is not a cause for fear for most people.
"We are the children of men. We had a father who stood upon this earth… on a battlefield… with a sword in his hands… with the same champion blood coursing through our veins as his… and we’re afraid to talk to that girl over there? But we are nervous, men say. Of course we are nervous! We are moving out of our comfort zone. This is marvelous, don’t you see? Nothing wonderful is ever accomplished without the willingness to look foolish or risk failure. What’s so great about comfort? Comfort is what we’ve had our whole life. Disdain comfort! We should always be willing to be nervous, to scare ourselves a little, because nervous energy is the pulse of life. Celebrate nervousness, for it is the life-blood of reckless abandon, of great adventure, of desire manifested into action! To be nervous and embrace it is amazing. Instead of using nervousness as an excuse to shrink back, a man can use it as a rocket fuel to propel him forward. “Uh… I was standing over there, and I saw you over here, and uh, I’m a little nervous, but I had to come over and say hello. What’s your name?” This will set him apart from all the other men in the world who are living their lives as spectators. Besides, it is universally endearing to women when a man is a little nervous and doesn’t try to hide it. How many times have I heard this from women? Sure, he might be stumbling over his words a little, but here he is, showing up, leading the dance, speaking his truth. That’s more than most men can say. What’s more, a women can be a little intimidated by a man who comes across as too smooth, too polished, too rehearsed. Why? Because she, too, is a little nervous, a little insecure, and it’s nice to know that he, like her, has a vulnerable side, a human side, and isn’t trying to hide it. Women don’t relate to us because we are cool or perfect or living brilliant lives. They relate to us because we, like them, are scratching our heads every day, trying to figure it all out. Vulnerability is not weakness. Vulnerability is not wallowing, pathetic, or needy. Vulnerability is authentic. Vulnerability is as masculine as anything else. It takes real strength to feel nervous, to be curious about it, to express it, and then to step forward anyway. This is the very pinnacle of masculinity. Our body language will naturally follow suit. Men think they need to learn to stand up straighter, to throw their shoulders back, to cock their heads just so. There are all kinds of books on how to adjust our posture and body language but all of that is, for the most part, unnecessary. Our body language is an automatic expression of how we see the world. If a man sees the world with curiosity and wonder in his eyes, his body language will display it. If he loves women and life and is not afraid to show it, he will stand tall, his back will be straight, his chin will be up. If he feels nervous inside but chooses to show up anyway, he might look nervous… but he will also look alive. When a man is attracted to a women and he allows the moment to dissipate because of a faltering hesitation, he is letting his fathers down. Now only that, he is also letting women down, all the women in the world. Because… where is he? Women deserve his authentic self, his whole strength, his masculine glory, his messiness, his nervousness, his ridiculousness, his everything. Women deserve him fully present, fully showing up. When a man approaches a women who draws his heart, well then, no matter how nervous he is and no matter what he says to her, at least he is doing his part. He is doing his job as a man. To be aware that he is nervous and then to step forward anyway is just as much an act of masculinity as his father from the distant past standing on the earth with a sword in his hand. He has discharged his duty as a man. He has earned his right to stand upon the earth. Woody Allen said that eighty percent of success is just showing up. The problem with modern men is that we don’t show up at all. We are invisible on purpose. The difference between failure and success is not the absence of fear, and the difference between a mediocre life and a grand life is not confidence. The difference is the courage, the willpower, and the discipline to simply show up. Show up. That is all a man can do. That is all a man needs to do. Never underestimate the power of just showing up.” The above is an amazing passage from the beautiful book The Alabaster Girl by Zan Perrion. I hope that helps! :) I HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend that book to anyone who is looking to improve at connecting with women. That book is AMAZING and helped me out incredibly. (Here's a video where I talk about the book: ua-cam.com/video/2fVlYP0uN04/v-deo.html)
- - wow u broke my record. how hot/what race are these girls? what's your face/height/frame/money/race/age/income? dont expect logic or facts or even a reply from these coaches or PUA. they just give easy answers and blame the user if things dont work out.
The real fear isn’t asking out the girl, it’s not about getting rejected, it’s them finding out who and what you are and them laughing at you, telling everyone, and likely rejecting you as a result. It’s not rejection that is frightening, it’s being embarrassed. That’s the worst thought that crosses anyone’s mind
It’s scary trying to ask girls out but you need to be courageous anyway and go for it. Facing adversity and facing a challenge is the zone where legends are born.
bro I was watching this before I went to a concert with my friend and a couple of these girls, I didn't know either of them but because I watched this video I asked her to dance and that led to me asking her out and she said yes so I just want to thank you bro keep up all the good work on this channel because I'm sure it helps so many guys including myself and will continue help. Best of luck in 2015 love the fucking video!
@@GoldJacketLuke dude I dont get it why am I such a pussy when it comes to something so simple and I know she loves me to and thing is I still wont do it even when theres a perfect chance bruh your video help me figure it out now I should face this fear I wish you best of luck to you see yah
fear of asking a girl out is 10% rejection and 90% fallout that follows. because if you want to stay friends regardless things will be very hard between you two, at least for a while. and if you decide to ask her out, you open yourself up for that potential rejection. you are most vulnerable and it will hurt everytime.
Dude you're so right - I recently became scared about a girl I like knowing that she likes me back and I know I am scared of myself and my insecurities - that is what I am attempting to overcome!
I'm scared of them saying no, telling their friends, and then me getting tormented for about a couple weeks or so. Asking girls out at school is terrifying
Rather than just straight asking them out, slowly start talking to them more than. So that way you can get a feel about if they would reciprocate. Just talk to girls more, without the pressure of needing to ask them out.
Luke, this video was for me. It really speaks to me and it doesn't really have anything to do with women, but it does have a lot to do with relating to other people and wanting intimacy with others. You've really got me questioning a great deal about some personal things that I feel as if I want to hide and how I really don't want that to be the case anymore for 2015. Thank you, man.
We’re afraid of the future. Trusting someone’s opinion of our true, vulnerable selves. We’re afraid that things will work and there will be even more challenges to overcome. You’re 💯 bro. Same with jobs and business as well as love.
You are telling the truth. At least for my case. See, rejection hurts and I’ve dealt with it like a champ. Rejection is a good thing because she’s not wasting your time. The real fear is revealing myself to a girl.
Maker sure to read the description! You are not always going to get your mind's desired outcome every time you are courageous and take action through your fear. You will not always be externally rewarded. (Often you will! ;) ) But, you will ALWAYS grow pride in how you are living your life. You will become proud of the person you are becoming. You will be living at your absolute limit and actualizing your complete potential, and you will always feel amazing when facing your fears. But quite often your wildest dreams will come when smashing your fears :) Watch this video next- one of my best videos, "Face your Fears NATURALLY through PURPOSE and HEART": ua-cam.com/video/0YbYmFzR7P4/v-deo.html I mentioned this video, "The REAL Reason You're Afraid To Ask Girls Out" in this video too. This video is a MUST-WATCH for becoming your best self: "How To Journal - My Best Tool For Long Term Success & Inner Happiness": ua-cam.com/video/pVbT0anDAEw/v-deo.html
Bro can you help me?!! Here's my story , a few weeks we started school , we are in this program (class) where I asked her to be my study buddy , she gave me her phone number with her name , I searched up on Facebook , she blocked me when I sent her a friend request, which honestly made me feel depressed. I am always asking friends for tips , they're always telling me something too vague , like "talk to her" or "don't be shy". But simply "not being shy" is too vague for me , I need tips on improving on social anxiety , I myself don't have many friends , while all the other people are having fun chatting with girls and even dating , making new friends. I have her for 2 of my classes , in my first class we are both basically loners , in the other class she has a friend , and she just made a friend , what should I do?
That "Coach Carter" scene fits perfectly here. The one where he quotes Marianne Williamson text, "It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us."
+quEEn haLo It feels good to be the initiator. It feels manly. That said, women do give out lots of signs and subtle signals that lots of guys have a hard time picking up that they are interested. It's kind of the male role to at least say hi, and then the women will show signals.. and then you can escalate more (ask for her number or whatever). But women are always giving out subtle signals. That's their way of "asking you out". But they are attracted to men who are confident to act. They are attracted to action takers and men who aren't afraid of them. It makes sense.
Totally agree, but sadly we live in a world with stupid manmade rules and "traditions" of the guy making the first move, yet what I don't get is 50 years ago people dated, then got married and had sex, family etc for the most part. Now days it's all backwards or people sleep around, move in with someone without marriage or plans of it but we still live under that dumb rule of "the guy must make the first move" it just doesn't make sense to me. We have moved past those other "traditions" but insist on keeping the guy must make the first move and 99% of the time get rejected in doing so "tradition" lame. FTR, I'm a nice, down, funny guy who tends to get burned and even had one chick I liked for few years this was over 10 years ago who knew I liked her, gave me her # then one day asks me to hook her up with one of my friends :-/ that is the kind of luck I have so I just gave up. I know that sounds negative and depressing but some guys are just meant to be alone and quite frankly I'm at a time in my life my early 30's, most of my friends are with someone or married where I just don't want to hear "no, sorry not interested" what can I say? So I don't even bother because no reason to just ask for disappointment. I also live in NYC arguably one of the most shallow places on Earth no doubt where women care more about your height, if you live alone or what car if you have a car you drive more than personality. Sorry for the rant but yeah lol. This vid is intriguing however it comes down to nobody being perfect, in this case a guy. Way I see it if a guy likes a girl, asks her out and if she by some miracle says yes and likes him, goes by initial first impression then she should just accept him for who he is instead of trying to find things she doesn't like. BTW I'm talking most normal things mistakes we make like I dont know just for examples: lose a job, get into a fist fight, get arrested (minor shit not killing or something crazy of course), not being PC you know just things a lot of people may do or not be perfect in cause let's face it, everyone has flaws, nobody is perfect but the problem is we live in a shallow, materialistic society where people care more about looks and nothing else then learn when they're older or too old.
yeah and also what about same sex relationships. I think its hot when girls propose and guys shouldnt feel like theyre any less manly for it. I dont like when guys feel like their masculinity is being challenged or jeopardized. If youre confident in yourself you shouldnt care
Yeah true. The Gay point is a good point I mean a girl obviously has to ask the other girl in case of lesbians or same sex relationships, marriage etc so why can't a straight chick be just as aggressive. Someone would probably try to tell you "well one chick is the man, the one that takes initiative you know" but technically they're both women so your point is very good. As long as the guy protects his lady, I dont see why he must do all that other shit like make the first move, always take initiative with everything.
So true! Exactly what I Be thinking. I asked out a women last night, I asked out a women two weeks ago, I was asked out last week and I took no action after that.
What's cool is this guy is just some normal guy but he became something better. Atleast that's the vibe I get. He's becoming famous solely off of his thoughts here, not off of editing or distracting entertainment. He's got us captivated with just his thoughts.
Also that point about being afraid of who you are is the real reason you're afraid to ask girls out is so true. Often I find it quite hard to be myself because I think my real self will drive people away or offend them. My real self is often like that. Either people will absolutely love me or they can't stand me, not always though.
Damn bro you're so right... This was one of the most eye-opening videos that I've watched here on YT. It really hit me on a very personal level.. Keep up the good work :)
There should be more people like you. I have only see a few videos that talk about being yourself and being happy with who you are. You are not talking about being fake or acting like you are someone different. Thank you.
I think it's 50/50.. those 30 seconds of asking her out and the 10 minutes of nervousness that comes before, and also like you said what happens after you ask her out... I'm always afraid of having nothing to talk about, and eventually she'll find things that she might or might not like about me. I had this very problem yesterday and today... LOL. I think I'm just weird, and have never really asked a girl out. Thanks bro for the videos:)
I think I personally feel this way about any social intimacy. But I had never realized it until now. It was only after your video. A lot more things make sense now. Thanks man.
The positive intentions are so important. When ever i'm about to confront a fear with a girl or someone i always say a little prayer for the highest possible outcome to happen for both parties.
That's the really interesting thing about fear..If you overcome you fears, the universe has interesting but unexpected ways of sending opportunities to you without you ever knowing. I started overcoming one fear after another starting in July 21st when I got my license. I've done more in my life in 2 months than I have in 25 years of living.
My fear about that is that I’m afraid on what I look like and since all my friends tell me I look ugly and I don’t have any confidence and I’m afraid that all her friends are gonna tell everyone that the person that I like knows
I've been asked out twice online. One happened but I pretty much winged it as a trial run and didn't play by her rules, although It wouldn't of worked out long term so not bothered. The other one was an impractical request but I didn't have an alternative. I've asked a girl out once online to a certain event, she said yes, but the only times available were too early in the morning for her. Wake up girl, can't be having that. The early bird would catch the worm, but the worm had other ideas ffs. Anyway in Real life, the girl I want to ask out, I don't know when I'll see her again so I am preparing for it. Will let you know 🤞
It's pretty cool being a straight guy. You are automatically given a purpose in life by the very mechanism of sexual selection! All the motivation to work on yourself and improve yourself is right there in your biology! No other orientation has this built-in system of meaning.
just have positive intentions and if you get rejected, you'll walk away knowing that you took action and did it with a good heart. Maybe later you'll meet another person and be a bit more confident in yourself and less nervous because you're last interaction made you stronger in that area. I feel like I have to be willing to let go before I ask a person out. That way I'm not afraid if things don't work out. Like Luke said, it's the result of our actions that we're afraid of. So if you embrace both outcomes, you'll be less afraid. Just have good intentions towards the other person and you're golden :)
Luke, been watching your videos for a while and I love the positive vibe of your entire channel. The concepts are driven home cause you explain it in a very chill and genuine way and I connect with you more than the other youtubers who talk about the same things. As a subscriber I would like to see you explain something in a short skit/social experiment though, it would be a new take for your channel. All the best and keep being yourself!
I have to say you have hit the nail on the head with this one mate. I have been single all my life not because I was unable to ask a girl out but because I became fearful in the long run on whether the person is I found attractive will become someone I want to spend the rest of my life with. I have believed in monogamy since my upbringing and in todays society relationships are a hit and miss. I am 28 now and I guess this is affecting in a way where when I meet a girl I am already thinking of the long run even if I've only known them for a week.I am afraid at the moment. I have found this girl that I have only met for four days and I am already developing a bond towards her and am uncertain that she feels the same way. I have had similar experiences and let those feelings pass. I am wanting to ask her out and see where things go. It's a journey that we all go through in time I'm am not afraid of rejection but I am afraid in love.
Diagnosed abandonment anxiety disorder. It's moving a mountain for me ask someone out, but I do it anyway. A soft let down is way better than the hell my mind will create by not asking.
To be rejected is scary, to succeed is even more scarry. Brrr. Another scary thing would be my friends reaction. I know they will never show it, but they probably will think "Hey! We are math students! We don't ask girls out. So you are not with us now!"
My fear is not the dates and hanging out. My fear is getting rejected or getting hurt in the long run. I been hurt bad once and I hate that feeling so much by giving my heart to someone then she destroys it
Yeah your probably better off getting with someone of a lower standard who will better appreciate you. It’s not fun, but there’s probably a better chance of it working since the relationship is based on wisdom and not emotions.
Ive asked This Girl out from work who clearly likes me. She constantly makes eye contact and approaches me to talk. One Time she left a note at my desk with a kiss on it. I gave her my number and we text late in the evening. She even called me once in the morning to wake me up. I asked her to go to the cinema. She didnt looked sure and i said let me know of You can. She didnt respond. So i dont understand women.
Great video and great advice. My biggest fear is rejection. I have anxiety REALLY bad when it comes to things like that. I know the world would keep on turning if she'd say no, but my anxiety tells me that it won't. For that reason, I've never been able to get past that first HUGE barrier.
I appreciate the comment Kevin. One thing that could help is to talk / flirt with the girl more before asking her out. See if she gives you signs that she is interested. That ups the probability of not getting rejected. All the best to you.
The thing is, it's always about that first step. In my experience, when doing something like this, asking out a girl, trying out for a new job, going to the gym for the first time if you've never been before, and just experiencing something out of your comfort zone always takes a leap, not a first step. You've got to have faith in yourself and that the sum of all the experiences you've had in your life, friends, family, school, holidays etc. have made you who you are today. Maybe your first leap fails, maybe it doesn't but when I was a bit younger (16ish) I was too scared of failing. Truth is, every successful person has failed many times, it's where you learn the most about yourself. You learn through the pressures of confronting a new situation, it's how our ancestors discovered, invented, innovated. Now you can sit here and read this comment, maybe you'll be inspired by it, but it's one thing to be inspired and another to act. Doing is the greatest thing, just perform that action (way easier written than done, but that IS life). Ask her out man, there's only so many vids you can watch, only so many comments you can read, you have to trust that you are worthy of your own journey
There is this girl at my side job I have a crush on since I first saw her 5 months ago when I started there (she's 10/10 no lie). She broke up with her boyfriend about 5 weeks ago. Even when they were together, I always felt like she was kinda interested in me. 2 Weeks after they broke up, she asked me if I would go to the gym with her (don't wanna brag, but I'm a quite muscular gym rat). Of course I said yes, so we've been there like 4 times now. We are texting almost every day. She is marking me on funny Facebook posts, sending snaps etc. Next time I'll see her (this weekend) I'll ask her if she would go on a date with me. I'm worried that she might say no and working there will become very awkward. I really like that job, lol. But I gotta be a man. So what ever her answer will be, I'll update you guys under this comment in the following days. I love everything about that girl. When SHE asked ME, to go to the gym with her, I got confident that there is actually a chance for me. Whish me luck!
GoldJacketLuke You played a big role in making someone really happy my friend. Gotta thank you! This video helped me a lot and especially that "nature loves courage" quote convinced me. Still wasn't easy tho, almost had a heart attack! lol I hope you are just as happy as I am and have a wonderful day. :)
thats true, look for a guy who is really confident he can ask a girl and not feel sad if she didnt gou out w/him cause he is not shame about himself. feel shame about yourself is the root of shyness.
I’m watching this video (& a bunch of other videos) after I finally asked her out (I’ve known her since early 2010’s, we’ve grown up at the same Church for so long), but then she told me she’s already seeing someone…and it’s a new guy that came in last year as a new youth director, & I get along with that guy well…now idk what to think (atm it’s resentment, isolated & everything else negative. I’m trying to get over it as it seems to be the solution a lot of people give)
I know how you feel. Try doing it anyways. You'll feel amazing: Watch this video: ua-cam.com/video/7IeJukHk6cQ/v-deo.html Your other option is baby steps forward interacting with her. So next time just give her say hi, then next time give her a compliment, next time ask her a question and introduce yourself, eventually ask her out... here's a video I did on that: ua-cam.com/video/LFxyOKfsKDc/v-deo.html Best of luck to you! We're on this journey together!
Im a girl and am asking my guy friend out to homecoming today. Im so nervous and im scared of him rejecting me...but i keep hearing ppl say you only live once and you have a 50% chance of success. Wish me luck i need all the help i can get.
My favorite Terence Mackenna Quote is “If the words life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness don’t include the right to experiment your own consciousness then the Declaration of Independence isn’t worth the hemp it was written on” kind of random but I love that quote
Thank you man, you inspired me to ask a girl out. I set myself out to do it, but just did whatever I could to avoid it when I was there. Finally I listened to your video again and then once more just the quote at the beginning and just went there and asked her, she said she has a boyfriend, but that made me even happier, knowing I wouldn't have to deal with the rest.
I am 23 , never asked a girl out, never had a girlfriend and i think I never will. I am little bit afraid of talking to girls and also I am afraid of society. Like in my college I always thought if I tried to talk to that girl then all my friends and college students will laugh at me because I am not that good looking
Im going through a lot. i still need to sort my life out and be at peace with myself first before i even start approaching girls. i dont like to put anyone in an uncomfortable situation....
Bullshit, this is how it will really turns out Girl: I want a nice guy. Me: hi how are you? Girl: EW GO AWAY! Random douche guy: Hey bitch, I want you be my girlfriend? Girl: I love you! Want to hang out? Me: What the hell?!
wow man this is so spot on i feel the same way I'm scared to have a relationship thinking about the long term when I haven't even approached her I done some public speaking just not a whole lot
Damn dude. I feel like I owe you money now lol thank you. There’s this girl at my gym that I’ve been crushing on for the past seven months or so and I have a feeling she does like me as well cause she’s always smiling at me, but after listening to this video, I do feel like I’m just afraid she may not like me for who I am or that i may not be good enough for her
Definitely talk to her more bro!! You got this! Especially as she's always smiling at you, sounds like she likes you! Live life with no regrets! 💪 Let me know how things progress. Have you introduced yourself to her yet? Can start with, "I've seen you here a lot and just wanted to introduce myself". Ask her questions about herself.
@@GoldJacketLuke I haven’t introduced my self yet. I almost did today because she got on the treadmill next to mine and she normally does that but I just froze up. That’s a very good line though if I see her tomorrow I think I might just do it and introduce myself. I’ll let you know how it goes.
@@lupusnoctis8656 Awesome! It sounds like she's keen so if there's an opportunity go for it! You can just introduce yourself and go back to your workout for example for starters. Another idea could be to give her a compliment on something. Just being a friendly and kind person. One step at a time. You can be friendly to other people at the gym too if you see opportunities to help feel social (dudes, front desk person, etc.) Keep me updated! Rooting for you!
@@GoldJacketLuke so I talked to her today finally. I introduced myself. She said she likes working out around me because I’m always working my ass off and it’s inspiring. We didn’t talk long just maybe a minute because she was working out. I really don’t know what to take from what she said lol. It came off as polite but I could be oblivious. She seems real nice but I don’t know if I should pursue it. My sister said I should have asked her out to coffee but I think that would have been too soon.
I've never asked a girl out because I was told my whole life that if I "stop looking, I'll meet someone". Until a couple years ago I asked someone out at work for the first time, even if it did feel nerve racking, but I'm glad I did it anyway. She told me she was seeing someone and I cant help but overthink whether or not I did the right thing, as if "asking her out" is a clear sign of neediness. I didnt want to put her on the edge, I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable.
Good job asking her out! Best to live life with no regrets! Glad you are sensitive to her. In the future you can simply talk with a women more and flirt a bit, get to know her a bit, and if you see signs from her that she may be interested can ask her out then. This way the chances of putting her on edge are much less. All the best.
@@GoldJacketLuke yeah that's what I did with my crush before I asked her out. One small problem is that it's hard for me to read social cues so I can't tell whether or not a girl is interested
This video really helped me. I've been liking this girl for like 2 months and me and her are really good friends but this video made me realize that I don't really like her and that my mind wanted her not my heart. Thank you.
+Itz Zarr Are you sure? Or are you just too afraid to go for her? Don't rationalize this message when you actually do like her, but pretending you don't because you're to afraid to face your fear
It`s more like being afraid of not being able to show the real self in that date situation. We are afraid because we know that we cannot market ourselves properly
There's is alot of truth in what you say, I feel I need to improve myself before I can overcome my anxiety with women, however maybe it's a self anxiety where I'm worried a women will think I'm weird, which I do think, because I'm not a sheep I'm a deep thinker Im into deep topics which may turn someone off I also collect toys which I know from experience women don't normally approve of, but I have integrity I'll stand up for myself and what I'm passionate about and I will say to anyone I don't require anyone's approval to be happy in a hobby, I do no one any harm so leave me to my fun, I'd never tell a women stop buying shoes or don't do something you enjoy because I don't like it, but a great video again luke
I'm only afraid to ask her out because she is way out of my league and I'm sure she will say no. To everyone reading this just remember that you are a great person and you deserve to be with someone, good luck to everyone
That makes a lot of sense. I've always known I'm not afraid of rejection, but I've never known why I can't ask her out, this answered that question and I feel like I may be able to ask her out tomorrow 😁 hopefully anyways
There is this girl that I met at work. We work together for about a year or so and through the course of that year I did feel this connection but it was not until I left and move to another store that I begin to realize I have feelings for her. I want to tell her how I feel but of course I’m scared to tell her because I don’t want to lose her as a friend. It’s been 4 months now at my new job and I still can’t shake this feeling. I really want to let her know how I feel. It’s just my fear and thoughts that are keeping from doing it.
You've got to go for it bro! Live life with no regrets! If it doesn't feel right to fully share your feelings... you can lean into it. Just start by asking her out, etc. Best of wishes to you.
IF YOU LIKED THIS VIDEO, CHECKOUT MY OTHER VIDEOS & CONSIDER SUBSCRIBING! :)
UPDATED THOUGHT: I often think guys put too much pressure on "asking girls out". A beneficial way of thinking could be shifting to just simply talking to that girl more, saying hi to that girl, asking that girl a question, giving a girl a compliment, flirting and talking with girls, or just simply getting to know a girl more. See what I am saying? Build to it, rather than putting so much pressure on "asking a girl out". Also just try to be more social with everyone in general so talking with a girl you're attracted to isn't as big of a deal. Getting out of our comfort zones, courage, being vulnerable, and going for it is key, but let's make this process more natural if the situation allows. All the best brothers!
I have social anxiety. Asking a girl out is scarier than going to war..
hey man I have social anxiety as well and it took me years to ask girls out but I still manage to do so. So it's possible to do it :)
NO! NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!
+Chris Martyn For me, Asking a girl out is scarier than getting tortured by a fucking Joker. And i don't have a social anxiety.
Preach
+Chris Martyn Same for me, and it stresses me out to the point I just say "Fuck it" I'm not going to bother even thinking about it anymore. Just sucks because I will probably die a virgin haha. I am already 30 so unless I approach a girl and ask her, I'm quite certain I could stroll through the rest of my life without ever experiencing love or intimacy with a girl. I mean, I've made it this far without even talking to a girl..
I did it, I asked my crush, from the gym, out! I was rejected but it felt good to finally do it! It felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. 😅
Great job man! :)
Now you can never go to that gym. Congrats.
@@roughryder5 lol 😂
@@roughryder5 lmao
@@roughryder5 nah he still can
I feel like I'm more scared of other people realizing that I've been rejected
Other people respect a guy who has the balls to ask out a girl. Even if rejected, they'll respect your courage. 100%. But, you can't live life shackled to caring what other people think of us!! Gotta live our own lifes! Fuck what other's think of you, do what you want to do brother!!
SAME, my BIGGEST fear is how other people will think of me. This one kid has recently been asking a bunch of girls out and me and my buds make fun of him all the time. So at this point I feel like other people will do the same.
But I do have to say, even after I laugh with my friends about him, deep down I'm jealous that he has the balls to actually ask these girls out (These are the kinds of girls you look at and say "They're out of my league"). He got rejected by I think 9 girls (Not exaggerated, I can recall their names) I've heard of now, but he keeps going.
My friend Aidan last year he asked a girl out and she said yes. And all of the people in our friend group were beating up on him.
What? Who cares.
I'm afraid of her getting to know me and find out I'm boring.
GoldJacketLuke not in my school u get rejected look at this ugly ass he couldn’t even score with her is the most likely response
This is so true. I feel like the uncertainty of what happens afterwards is more fearful than rejection.
Makes sense, could be the same reason we fear death so much
robert s I don't think most people fear death. We fear having a horrible, painful death, but death itself, and what lies ahead of it is not a cause for fear for most people.
It's fucking incredible i was thinking the same thing just three hours ago. Before watching it
tl;dw: it's not the fear of getting a no, it's the fear of getting a yes; now what?
"We are the children of men. We had a father who stood upon this earth… on a battlefield… with a sword in his hands… with the same champion blood coursing through our veins as his… and we’re afraid to talk to that girl over there?
But we are nervous, men say. Of course we are nervous! We are moving out of our comfort zone. This is marvelous, don’t you see? Nothing wonderful is ever accomplished without the willingness to look foolish or risk failure.
What’s so great about comfort? Comfort is what we’ve had our whole life. Disdain comfort! We should always be willing to be nervous, to scare ourselves a little, because nervous energy is the pulse of life. Celebrate nervousness, for it is the life-blood of reckless abandon, of great adventure, of desire manifested into action!
To be nervous and embrace it is amazing. Instead of using nervousness as an excuse to shrink back, a man can use it as a rocket fuel to propel him forward. “Uh… I was standing over there, and I saw you over here, and uh, I’m a little nervous, but I had to come over and say hello. What’s your name?” This will set him apart from all the other men in the world who are living their lives as spectators.
Besides, it is universally endearing to women when a man is a little nervous and doesn’t try to hide it. How many times have I heard this from women? Sure, he might be stumbling over his words a little, but here he is, showing up, leading the dance, speaking his truth. That’s more than most men can say.
What’s more, a women can be a little intimidated by a man who comes across as too smooth, too polished, too rehearsed. Why? Because she, too, is a little nervous, a little insecure, and it’s nice to know that he, like her, has a vulnerable side, a human side, and isn’t trying to hide it. Women don’t relate to us because we are cool or perfect or living brilliant lives. They relate to us because we, like them, are scratching our heads every day, trying to figure it all out.
Vulnerability is not weakness. Vulnerability is not wallowing, pathetic, or needy. Vulnerability is authentic. Vulnerability is as masculine as anything else. It takes real strength to feel nervous, to be curious about it, to express it, and then to step forward anyway. This is the very pinnacle of masculinity.
Our body language will naturally follow suit. Men think they need to learn to stand up straighter, to throw their shoulders back, to cock their heads just so. There are all kinds of books on how to adjust our posture and body language but all of that is, for the most part, unnecessary. Our body language is an automatic expression of how we see the world. If a man sees the world with curiosity and wonder in his eyes, his body language will display it. If he loves women and life and is not afraid to show it, he will stand tall, his back will be straight, his chin will be up. If he feels nervous inside but chooses to show up anyway, he might look nervous… but he will also look alive.
When a man is attracted to a women and he allows the moment to dissipate because of a faltering hesitation, he is letting his fathers down. Now only that, he is also letting women down, all the women in the world. Because… where is he? Women deserve his authentic self, his whole strength, his masculine glory, his messiness, his nervousness, his ridiculousness, his everything. Women deserve him fully present, fully showing up.
When a man approaches a women who draws his heart, well then, no matter how nervous he is and no matter what he says to her, at least he is doing his part. He is doing his job as a man. To be aware that he is nervous and then to step forward anyway is just as much an act of masculinity as his father from the distant past standing on the earth with a sword in his hand. He has discharged his duty as a man. He has earned his right to stand upon the earth.
Woody Allen said that eighty percent of success is just showing up. The problem with modern men is that we don’t show up at all. We are invisible on purpose.
The difference between failure and success is not the absence of fear, and the difference between a mediocre life and a grand life is not confidence. The difference is the courage, the willpower, and the discipline to simply show up. Show up. That is all a man can do. That is all a man needs to do. Never underestimate the power of just showing up.”
The above is an amazing passage from the beautiful book The Alabaster Girl by Zan Perrion. I hope that helps! :)
I HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend that book to anyone who is looking to improve at connecting with women. That book is AMAZING and helped me out incredibly.
(Here's a video where I talk about the book: ua-cam.com/video/2fVlYP0uN04/v-deo.html)
DylanKartWii RIGHT!!?
DylanKartWii you r right
What a fucking load of shit. I've approached over 100 girls. I'd fucking be ecstatic for a yes, all I get is no's.
- -
wow u broke my record. how hot/what race are these girls? what's your face/height/frame/money/race/age/income?
dont expect logic or facts or even a reply from these coaches or PUA. they just give easy answers and blame the user if things dont work out.
Alright guys. I think im going to do this
Got her number, but she never texted back. It's cool though. That was just practice.
Future Trunks whoa
Future Trunks It’s ok you’ll get em next time.
Future Trunks how's it going now?
+Future Trunks So how is it going with Mai now? :D
The real fear isn’t asking out the girl, it’s not about getting rejected, it’s them finding out who and what you are and them laughing at you, telling everyone, and likely rejecting you as a result. It’s not rejection that is frightening, it’s being embarrassed. That’s the worst thought that crosses anyone’s mind
Also them falsely accusing you of SA
It’s scary trying to ask girls out but you need to be courageous anyway and go for it. Facing adversity and facing a challenge is the zone where legends are born.
💯. Asking out a girl who you are really into is an amazing growth experience.
No risk no reward bro always remember that
Rather just wait for a woman to approach me
bro I was watching this before I went to a concert with my friend and a couple of these girls, I didn't know either of them but because I watched this video I asked her to dance and that led to me asking her out and she said yes so I just want to thank you bro keep up all the good work on this channel because I'm sure it helps so many guys including myself and will continue help. Best of luck in 2015 love the fucking video!
Grim Cons Awesome! :)
@@GoldJacketLuke dude I dont get it why am I such a pussy when it comes to something so simple and I know she loves me to and thing is I still wont do it even when theres a perfect chance bruh your video help me figure it out now I should face this fear I wish you best of luck to you see yah
any updates on that girl?
fear of asking a girl out is 10% rejection and 90% fallout that follows. because if you want to stay friends regardless things will be very hard between you two, at least for a while.
and if you decide to ask her out, you open yourself up for that potential rejection. you are most vulnerable and it will hurt everytime.
I often forget about having positive intentions but when I do nothing bad ever happens. Negative thoughts and consequences.. It's all in your head
Dude you're so right - I recently became scared about a girl I like knowing that she likes me back and I know I am scared of myself and my insecurities - that is what I am attempting to overcome!
1) Develop yourself more. and simultaneously 2) Face your fears! Best of wishes brother! 💪
@@GoldJacketLuke Thanks man, appreciate it!
I'm scared of them saying no, telling their friends, and then me getting tormented for about a couple weeks or so. Asking girls out at school is terrifying
Rather than just straight asking them out, slowly start talking to them more than. So that way you can get a feel about if they would reciprocate. Just talk to girls more, without the pressure of needing to ask them out.
dam this video got me thinking, what is my true self. I dont even know what i am
Ask yourself, does the screen ever suffer the fate of the characters in the movie?
Shaun Dobbie wtf you talkin bout. Its a screen. It has no fate
Luke, this video was for me. It really speaks to me and it doesn't really have anything to do with women, but it does have a lot to do with relating to other people and wanting intimacy with others. You've really got me questioning a great deal about some personal things that I feel as if I want to hide and how I really don't want that to be the case anymore for 2015. Thank you, man.
Smash your fears and magic happens!
Michael Bruce not always
Smash ur fears and you’ll get smashed back.
And thats when u realize she tells her friends
rust comrade that’s the thing I’m really afraid of, not actually asking her out.
AhahaHAahhaah Smash your crush and boom magic
We’re afraid of the future. Trusting someone’s opinion of our true, vulnerable selves. We’re afraid that things will work and there will be even more challenges to overcome.
You’re 💯 bro.
Same with jobs and business as well as love.
Yes sir! Great comment. We must courageously face those fears! 💪 👑
My fear is what if I don’t like her anymore?
The only thing i'm afraid of if i asked a girl out and boom she rejected me or just denied
That's my problem having a girlfriend
I think, for me anyways, the biggest fear is losing that "chance" I had or thought I had if she were to say no.
You summed up my problem exactly.
You are telling the truth. At least for my case. See, rejection hurts and I’ve dealt with it like a champ. Rejection is a good thing because she’s not wasting your time. The real fear is revealing myself to a girl.
Maker sure to read the description! You are not always going to get your mind's desired outcome every time you are courageous and take action through your fear. You will not always be externally rewarded. (Often you will! ;) ) But, you will ALWAYS grow pride in how you are living your life. You will become proud of the person you are becoming. You will be living at your absolute limit and actualizing your complete potential, and you will always feel amazing when facing your fears. But quite often your wildest dreams will come when smashing your fears :)
Watch this video next- one of my best videos, "Face your Fears NATURALLY through PURPOSE and HEART": ua-cam.com/video/0YbYmFzR7P4/v-deo.html
I mentioned this video, "The REAL Reason You're Afraid To Ask Girls Out" in this video too. This video is a MUST-WATCH for becoming your best self: "How To Journal - My Best Tool For Long Term Success & Inner Happiness": ua-cam.com/video/pVbT0anDAEw/v-deo.html
+GoldJacketLuke really good advise yea the universe pushes and pulls as you push the universe will pull
i like this girl but she likes some one elts can u give me advise plz
Bro can you help me?!! Here's my story , a few weeks we started school , we are in this program (class) where I asked her to be my study buddy , she gave me her phone number with her name , I searched up on Facebook , she blocked me when I sent her a friend request, which honestly made me feel depressed. I am always asking friends for tips , they're always telling me something too vague , like "talk to her" or "don't be shy". But simply "not being shy" is too vague for me , I need tips on improving on social anxiety , I myself don't have many friends , while all the other people are having fun chatting with girls and even dating , making new friends. I have her for 2 of my classes , in my first class we are both basically loners , in the other class she has a friend , and she just made a friend , what should I do?
Also people consider me boring , so how can I be not so boring?
You should first work with her, have conversations with her, then add her on Facebook. Just ask her out.
That "Coach Carter" scene fits perfectly here. The one where he quotes Marianne Williamson text, "It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us."
Exactly how I feel but I feel if I ask her out but if she says no im afraid that she will tell her friends and think im weird
ohh Diamond yes that's what im afraid of turns out she said yes
Yes someone gets wut I’m talking about
Exactly
Same
This man speaked more facts than my parents
I'd like to see girls asking out people more or actually proposing. Kinda switch it up
+quEEn haLo It feels good to be the initiator. It feels manly. That said, women do give out lots of signs and subtle signals that lots of guys have a hard time picking up that they are interested. It's kind of the male role to at least say hi, and then the women will show signals.. and then you can escalate more (ask for her number or whatever). But women are always giving out subtle signals. That's their way of "asking you out". But they are attracted to men who are confident to act. They are attracted to action takers and men who aren't afraid of them. It makes sense.
Totally agree, but sadly we live in a world with stupid manmade rules and "traditions" of the guy making the first move, yet what I don't get is 50 years ago people dated, then got married and had sex, family etc for the most part. Now days it's all backwards or people sleep around, move in with someone without marriage or plans of it but we still live under that dumb rule of "the guy must make the first move" it just doesn't make sense to me.
We have moved past those other "traditions" but insist on keeping the guy must make the first move and 99% of the time get rejected in doing so "tradition" lame.
FTR, I'm a nice, down, funny guy who tends to get burned and even had one chick I liked for few years this was over 10 years ago who knew I liked her, gave me her # then one day asks me to hook her up with one of my friends :-/ that is the kind of luck I have so I just gave up. I know that sounds negative and depressing but some guys are just meant to be alone and quite frankly I'm at a time in my life my early 30's, most of my friends are with someone or married where I just don't want to hear "no, sorry not interested" what can I say? So I don't even bother because no reason to just ask for disappointment.
I also live in NYC arguably one of the most shallow places on Earth no doubt where women care more about your height, if you live alone or what car if you have a car you drive more than personality. Sorry for the rant but yeah lol. This vid is intriguing however it comes down to nobody being perfect, in this case a guy. Way I see it if a guy likes a girl, asks her out and if she by some miracle says yes and likes him, goes by initial first impression then she should just accept him for who he is instead of trying to find things she doesn't like.
BTW I'm talking most normal things mistakes we make like I dont know just for examples: lose a job, get into a fist fight, get arrested (minor shit not killing or something crazy of course), not being PC you know just things a lot of people may do or not be perfect in cause let's face it, everyone has flaws, nobody is perfect but the problem is we live in a shallow, materialistic society where people care more about looks and nothing else then learn when they're older or too old.
yeah and also what about same sex relationships. I think its hot when girls propose and guys shouldnt feel like theyre any less manly for it. I dont like when guys feel like their masculinity is being challenged or jeopardized. If youre confident in yourself you shouldnt care
Yeah true. The Gay point is a good point I mean a girl obviously has to ask the other girl in case of lesbians or same sex relationships, marriage etc so why can't a straight chick be just as aggressive. Someone would probably try to tell you "well one chick is the man, the one that takes initiative you know" but technically they're both women so your point is very good. As long as the guy protects his lady, I dont see why he must do all that other shit like make the first move, always take initiative with everything.
you should make a video on how to be the initiator without risking looking needy or desperate
So true! Exactly what I Be thinking. I asked out a women last night, I asked out a women two weeks ago, I was asked out last week and I took no action after that.
That quote was magic
What's cool is this guy is just some normal guy but he became something better. Atleast that's the vibe I get. He's becoming famous solely off of his thoughts here, not off of editing or distracting entertainment. He's got us captivated with just his thoughts.
This video changed my Life.
ReerZom how
Tell us your story..
It probably changed his perspective and POV and it can be applied to other aspects of life
Dark Shadow lol exactly.
I'm not a very confident person but I push myself to ask girls out a lot. I don't know why I'm still so nervous all the time tho
+UnlimitedProdiction1 at least you do it
Tehonrerzx thanks. That's what I tell myself after every rejection
. It beats wondering what of
UnlimitedProdiction1 I need to do it but I have bad past experiences. Wish I had a buddy to compete with
+Tehonrerzx Funny enough I'm more comfortable doing it alone. for some reason I'm even more nervous with others around
UnlimitedProdiction1 Hm, so I guess you approach girls when they're walking alone or something with other people going by?
Am I in church?
Kinda sounds like it haha
😂😂
Also that point about being afraid of who you are is the real reason you're afraid to ask girls out is so true. Often I find it quite hard to be myself because I think my real self will drive people away or offend them. My real self is often like that. Either people will absolutely love me or they can't stand me, not always though.
Damn bro you're so right... This was one of the most eye-opening videos that I've watched here on YT. It really hit me on a very personal level.. Keep up the good work :)
There should be more people like you. I have only see a few videos that talk about being yourself and being happy with who you are. You are not talking about being fake or acting like you are someone different. Thank you.
I think it's 50/50.. those 30 seconds of asking her out and the 10 minutes of nervousness that comes before, and also like you said what happens after you ask her out... I'm always afraid of having nothing to talk about, and eventually she'll find things that she might or might not like about me. I had this very problem yesterday and today... LOL. I think I'm just weird, and have never really asked a girl out. Thanks bro for the videos:)
How's it going brodie
I think I personally feel this way about any social intimacy. But I had never realized it until now. It was only after your video. A lot more things make sense now. Thanks man.
wow pretty much just explained faith
The positive intentions are so important. When ever i'm about to confront a fear with a girl or someone i always say a little prayer for the highest possible outcome to happen for both parties.
Just reading the comments are already making me get courage
💪 🙌
If you go to school and work with her it's the fear of it being weird and awkward when she says no
That's the really interesting thing about fear..If you overcome you fears, the universe has interesting but unexpected ways of sending opportunities to you without you ever knowing. I started overcoming one fear after another starting in July 21st when I got my license. I've done more in my life in 2 months than I have in 25 years of living.
Nice, Good job mate!
My fear about that is that I’m afraid on what I look like and since all my friends tell me I look ugly and I don’t have any confidence and I’m afraid that all her friends are gonna tell everyone that the person that I like knows
im too scared too even ask a girl out online 😂💀💀💀💀
life lessons
Same here
I've been asked out twice online. One happened but I pretty much winged it as a trial run and didn't play by her rules, although It wouldn't of worked out long term so not bothered. The other one was an impractical request but I didn't have an alternative.
I've asked a girl out once online to a certain event, she said yes, but the only times available were too early in the morning for her. Wake up girl, can't be having that. The early bird would catch the worm, but the worm had other ideas ffs.
Anyway in Real life, the girl I want to ask out, I don't know when I'll see her again so I am preparing for it. Will let you know 🤞
Dude this really helped. I have been pushing off asking this girl out and this just gave me confidence. Thank you so much
You got this! 💪
It's pretty cool being a straight guy. You are automatically given a purpose in life by the very mechanism of sexual selection! All the motivation to work on yourself and improve yourself is right there in your biology! No other orientation has this built-in system of meaning.
Its the right way
@@Shabbe02 wrong it's just one way not the right way I'm glad Im not straight thank God 🤣
Being ga.y is way better it's more fun easier and less stressful , straight men have burdens and high suicide rates lol
just have positive intentions and if you get rejected, you'll walk away knowing that you took action and did it with a good heart. Maybe later you'll meet another person and be a bit more confident in yourself and less nervous because you're last interaction made you stronger in that area.
I feel like I have to be willing to let go before I ask a person out. That way I'm not afraid if things don't work out.
Like Luke said, it's the result of our actions that we're afraid of. So if you embrace both outcomes, you'll be less afraid.
Just have good intentions towards the other person and you're golden :)
Great comment!! 👍
Wow, very raw material. Great video. I love how you're not giving superficial advise instead more deeeeeep shit. Thanks!
Alright boys here we go imma ask now, hella terrified.
Literally the best dating advice
Facing your fears/good intentions
Luke, been watching your videos for a while and I love the positive vibe of your entire channel. The concepts are driven home cause you explain it in a very chill and genuine way and I connect with you more than the other youtubers who talk about the same things. As a subscriber I would like to see you explain something in a short skit/social experiment though, it would be a new take for your channel. All the best and keep being yourself!
I have to say you have hit the nail on the head with this one mate. I have been single all my life not because I was unable to ask a girl out but because I became fearful in the long run on whether the person is I found attractive will become someone I want to spend the rest of my life with. I have believed in monogamy since my upbringing and in todays society relationships are a hit and miss. I am 28 now and I guess this is affecting in a way where when I meet a girl I am already thinking of the long run even if I've only known them for a week.I am afraid at the moment. I have found this girl that I have only met for four days and I am already developing a bond towards her and am uncertain that she feels the same way. I have had similar experiences and let those feelings pass. I am wanting to ask her out and see where things go. It's a journey that we all go through in time I'm am not afraid of rejection but I am afraid in love.
Ask her out man / get to know her more! :)
@@GoldJacketLuke Hey bro I really appreciate you getting back to me. Is there a way I can get in touch with you apart from here? Cheers
Thanks for posting this. It was cool hearing advice from a guy who wasn't using the cliché macho phrases you hear in videos like this.
Diagnosed abandonment anxiety disorder. It's moving a mountain for me ask someone out, but I do it anyway. A soft let down is way better than the hell my mind will create by not asking.
To be rejected is scary, to succeed is even more scarry. Brrr. Another scary thing would be my friends reaction. I know they will never show it, but they probably will think "Hey! We are math students! We don't ask girls out. So you are not with us now!"
Screw your friends, ask the girl out,
Luck wow that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.
My fear is not the dates and hanging out. My fear is getting rejected or getting hurt in the long run. I been hurt bad once and I hate that feeling so much by giving my heart to someone then she destroys it
Yeah your probably better off getting with someone of a lower standard who will better appreciate you. It’s not fun, but there’s probably a better chance of it working since the relationship is based on wisdom and not emotions.
Ive asked This Girl out from work who clearly likes me. She constantly makes eye contact and approaches me to talk. One Time she left a note at my desk with a kiss on it. I gave her my number and we text late in the evening. She even called me once in the morning to wake me up. I asked her to go to the cinema. She didnt looked sure and i said let me know of You can. She didnt respond. So i dont understand women.
Fuck bitches, get a lot of money then actually fuck bitches lmao
+jan jansen Probably jumped the gun.Girls don't really like if you make it obvious that you have interest in her.
Great video and great advice. My biggest fear is rejection. I have anxiety REALLY bad when it comes to things like that. I know the world would keep on turning if she'd say no, but my anxiety tells me that it won't. For that reason, I've never been able to get past that first HUGE barrier.
I appreciate the comment Kevin. One thing that could help is to talk / flirt with the girl more before asking her out. See if she gives you signs that she is interested. That ups the probability of not getting rejected. All the best to you.
This man is a fucking wizard.
the only reason why i was scared bc if she says no i dont want her to tell literally everyone
I watch these and say I'm going to do it but then I don't lol
me too lol
The thing is, it's always about that first step. In my experience, when doing something like this, asking out a girl, trying out for a new job, going to the gym for the first time if you've never been before, and just experiencing something out of your comfort zone always takes a leap, not a first step. You've got to have faith in yourself and that the sum of all the experiences you've had in your life, friends, family, school, holidays etc. have made you who you are today.
Maybe your first leap fails, maybe it doesn't but when I was a bit younger (16ish) I was too scared of failing. Truth is, every successful person has failed many times, it's where you learn the most about yourself. You learn through the pressures of confronting a new situation, it's how our ancestors discovered, invented, innovated. Now you can sit here and read this comment, maybe you'll be inspired by it, but it's one thing to be inspired and another to act. Doing is the greatest thing, just perform that action (way easier written than done, but that IS life). Ask her out man, there's only so many vids you can watch, only so many comments you can read, you have to trust that you are worthy of your own journey
Autogen Those words are powerful man. Bravo
Nicholas ._.22 fr😂💯
There is this girl at my side job I have a crush on since I first saw her 5 months ago when I started there (she's 10/10 no lie). She broke up with her boyfriend about 5 weeks ago. Even when they were together, I always felt like she was kinda interested in me. 2 Weeks after they broke up, she asked me if I would go to the gym with her (don't wanna brag, but I'm a quite muscular gym rat). Of course I said yes, so we've been there like 4 times now. We are texting almost every day. She is marking me on funny Facebook posts, sending snaps etc. Next time I'll see her (this weekend) I'll ask her if she would go on a date with me.
I'm worried that she might say no and working there will become very awkward. I really like that job, lol. But I gotta be a man.
So what ever her answer will be, I'll update you guys under this comment in the following days. I love everything about that girl. When SHE asked ME, to go to the gym with her, I got confident that there is actually a chance for me. Whish me luck!
SHE SAID YEEES
YYYEEEEAAAAHHHH! Woot! :)
GoldJacketLuke You played a big role in making someone really happy my friend. Gotta thank you! This video helped me a lot and especially that "nature loves courage" quote convinced me. Still wasn't easy tho, almost had a heart attack! lol
I hope you are just as happy as I am and have a wonderful day. :)
***** She is my girlfriend. :)
GoldJacketLuke Good For You
Man you are the real deal. This is raw bro
Man this is gold, keep it up !
You hit that shit on the head. This is why my relationships last no more than a couple of weeks.
This was golden. Thanks
thats true, look for a guy who is really confident he can ask a girl and not feel sad if she didnt gou out w/him cause he is not shame about himself. feel shame about yourself is the root of shyness.
I've started talking with her and I can tell she likes me so I'm going to go for it soon ❤️
You got this brother!
How did it go?
@@shivambh12 9 months together man💚😍
@@GoldJacketLuke I was going through the old account notis and I can tell you we are now 9 months together 💚
@@celticglasgow8448 Wow extremely beautiful brother!! Congrats! Thanks for coming back with the update. Much love and all the best!
I’m watching this video (& a bunch of other videos) after I finally asked her out (I’ve known her since early 2010’s, we’ve grown up at the same Church for so long), but then she told me she’s already seeing someone…and it’s a new guy that came in last year as a new youth director, & I get along with that guy well…now idk what to think (atm it’s resentment, isolated & everything else negative. I’m trying to get over it as it seems to be the solution a lot of people give)
I really like this girl and I want to ask her out, but whenever I want to ask her out my nerves get the best of me, any advice?
I know how you feel. Try doing it anyways. You'll feel amazing: Watch this video: ua-cam.com/video/7IeJukHk6cQ/v-deo.html
Your other option is baby steps forward interacting with her. So next time just give her say hi, then next time give her a compliment, next time ask her a question and introduce yourself, eventually ask her out... here's a video I did on that: ua-cam.com/video/LFxyOKfsKDc/v-deo.html
Best of luck to you! We're on this journey together!
Im a girl and am asking my guy friend out to homecoming today. Im so nervous and im scared of him rejecting me...but i keep hearing ppl say you only live once and you have a 50% chance of success. Wish me luck i need all the help i can get.
This is quality life advice. Thanks for sharing.
My favorite Terence Mackenna Quote is “If the words life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness don’t include the right to experiment your own consciousness then the Declaration of Independence isn’t worth the hemp it was written on” kind of random but I love that quote
I asked her out and she said yes
plot twist ur tiny henry is like a lil nut and she leaves u
Thank you man, you inspired me to ask a girl out. I set myself out to do it, but just did whatever I could to avoid it when I was there. Finally I listened to your video again and then once more just the quote at the beginning and just went there and asked her, she said she has a boyfriend, but that made me even happier, knowing I wouldn't have to deal with the rest.
I know this girl likes me but I'm so afraid to ask her out
Face your fear!! Live life with no regrets! I believe in you.
I am 23 , never asked a girl out, never had a girlfriend and i think I never will.
I am little bit afraid of talking to girls and also I am afraid of society. Like in my college I always thought if I tried to talk to that girl then all my friends and college students will laugh at me because I am not that good looking
Why is this video sooo true
Im going through a lot. i still need to sort my life out and be at peace with myself first before i even start approaching girls. i dont like to put anyone in an uncomfortable situation....
Great comment. Respect. I feel you on that. Best to you brother! :)
Ima do it :') ima go for it prey for me....
You got this. :)
Did it work
I'm all for Luke's message, the positivity and all that, but it really sounds CULT-LIKE.
Bullshit, this is how it will really turns out Girl: I want a nice guy. Me: hi how are you? Girl: EW GO AWAY! Random douche guy: Hey bitch, I want you be my girlfriend? Girl: I love you! Want to hang out? Me: What the hell?!
wow man this is so spot on i feel the same way I'm scared to have a relationship thinking about the long term when I haven't even approached her I done some public speaking just not a whole lot
Dude thxs it actually work thxs dude I subscribe you
I’m more scared of her saying yes then being rejected
thanks dude
Damn dude. I feel like I owe you money now lol thank you. There’s this girl at my gym that I’ve been crushing on for the past seven months or so and I have a feeling she does like me as well cause she’s always smiling at me, but after listening to this video, I do feel like I’m just afraid she may not like me for who I am or that i may not be good enough for her
Definitely talk to her more bro!! You got this! Especially as she's always smiling at you, sounds like she likes you! Live life with no regrets! 💪 Let me know how things progress. Have you introduced yourself to her yet? Can start with, "I've seen you here a lot and just wanted to introduce myself". Ask her questions about herself.
@@GoldJacketLuke I haven’t introduced my self yet. I almost did today because she got on the treadmill next to mine and she normally does that but I just froze up. That’s a very good line though if I see her tomorrow I think I might just do it and introduce myself. I’ll let you know how it goes.
@@lupusnoctis8656 Awesome! It sounds like she's keen so if there's an opportunity go for it! You can just introduce yourself and go back to your workout for example for starters. Another idea could be to give her a compliment on something. Just being a friendly and kind person. One step at a time. You can be friendly to other people at the gym too if you see opportunities to help feel social (dudes, front desk person, etc.) Keep me updated! Rooting for you!
@@GoldJacketLuke thank you so much man. I appreciate it. That’s solid advice
@@GoldJacketLuke so I talked to her today finally. I introduced myself. She said she likes working out around me because I’m always working my ass off and it’s inspiring. We didn’t talk long just maybe a minute because she was working out. I really don’t know what to take from what she said lol. It came off as polite but I could be oblivious. She seems real nice but I don’t know if I should pursue it. My sister said I should have asked her out to coffee but I think that would have been too soon.
Please run for president
I believe it is what others will think of you when you ask her out, speaking like your a younger person.
WELL SAID WHITE BOY
BOIII
Lmao
lel
LLL
That's racist!! lol
Its not that i have fear i have fear of getting played and taken advantage of
I've never asked a girl out because I was told my whole life that if I "stop looking, I'll meet someone". Until a couple years ago I asked someone out at work for the first time, even if it did feel nerve racking, but I'm glad I did it anyway. She told me she was seeing someone and I cant help but overthink whether or not I did the right thing, as if "asking her out" is a clear sign of neediness. I didnt want to put her on the edge, I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable.
Good job asking her out! Best to live life with no regrets! Glad you are sensitive to her. In the future you can simply talk with a women more and flirt a bit, get to know her a bit, and if you see signs from her that she may be interested can ask her out then. This way the chances of putting her on edge are much less. All the best.
@@GoldJacketLuke yeah that's what I did with my crush before I asked her out. One small problem is that it's hard for me to read social cues so I can't tell whether or not a girl is interested
This video really helped me. I've been liking this girl for like 2 months and me and her are really good friends but this video made me realize that I don't really like her and that my mind wanted her not my heart. Thank you.
+Itz Zarr Are you sure? Or are you just too afraid to go for her? Don't rationalize this message when you actually do like her, but pretending you don't because you're to afraid to face your fear
It`s more like being afraid of not being able to show the real self in that date situation. We are afraid because we know that we cannot market ourselves properly
"Fear causes hesitation and Hesitation causes your worst fears to come true" - Bodhi
There's is alot of truth in what you say, I feel I need to improve myself before I can overcome my anxiety with women, however maybe it's a self anxiety where I'm worried a women will think I'm weird, which I do think, because I'm not a sheep I'm a deep thinker Im into deep topics which may turn someone off I also collect toys which I know from experience women don't normally approve of, but I have integrity I'll stand up for myself and what I'm passionate about and I will say to anyone I don't require anyone's approval to be happy in a hobby, I do no one any harm so leave me to my fun, I'd never tell a women stop buying shoes or don't do something you enjoy because I don't like it, but a great video again luke
I'm only afraid to ask her out because she is way out of my league and I'm sure she will say no. To everyone reading this just remember that you are a great person and you deserve to be with someone, good luck to everyone
Likewise you are a great person too Matt! I hope you find love! You seem cool. All the best to you brother! :)
@@GoldJacketLuke thanks for that, I hope so
That makes a lot of sense. I've always known I'm not afraid of rejection, but I've never known why I can't ask her out, this answered that question and I feel like I may be able to ask her out tomorrow 😁 hopefully anyways
Listen.. I have 2 fears:
-an accent ( I’m from the EU )
-if I ask too many one out I’ll be labeled as the “ one who trying with every one”
There is this girl that I met at work. We work together for about a year or so and through the course of that year I did feel this connection but it was not until I left and move to another store that I begin to realize I have feelings for her. I want to tell her how I feel but of course I’m scared to tell her because I don’t want to lose her as a friend. It’s been 4 months now at my new job and I still can’t shake this feeling. I really want to let her know how I feel. It’s just my fear and thoughts that are keeping from doing it.
You've got to go for it bro! Live life with no regrets! If it doesn't feel right to fully share your feelings... you can lean into it. Just start by asking her out, etc. Best of wishes to you.