am i independent or just self isolating?

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  • Опубліковано 27 лис 2024

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  • @hazzysav7394
    @hazzysav7394 6 місяців тому +60

    I relate I think I use “independence” sometimes to disguise my avoidant behaviour when it comes to emotionally intimate relationships. I identify as an introvert strongly and tend to push others away when I feel like I might be too much in a particular moment, because I am deeply scared of rejection. but when it comes down to it I find when I feel like I am truely connecting with other people that is when I am at my happiest so idk

    • @papayapoe
      @papayapoe  6 місяців тому +3

      I relate so deeply to this!

    • @quickpstuts412
      @quickpstuts412 5 місяців тому

      Whew....this whole comment is me and relatable!!! Props at you for realizing this and admitting it. Self awareness is everything!

  • @chichii222
    @chichii222 5 місяців тому +2

    thank you so so much for this video. it’s literally so crazy how i was literally thinking about the same things that you had mentioned here b4 watching this, especially about how u realised that u were priding yourself on the fact that you kept to yourself bc you didn’t really like anyone else and how you craved community but you struggled with vulnerability. but i had asked the divine/God/Goddess about why i didn’t really have close friends but then i watch this and at 8:52 - YOU GIVE THE WHOLE ANSWER! and i am so amazed by this “coincidence” but ig i now just feel a bit afraid of actually being vulnerable with one of my friends in my real life bc i feel like its just another “school friends” and ig i just don’t wanna be a burden to ppl which is why i feel so attached to the idea of being independent and being perceived as independent too.
    poe (and anyone else) if you read this, thank you so much again for sharing this video and i hope find all the answers you’re looking for in the most wonderful and magical ways possible!
    lots of love from a random teenage girl in england 🫶🏾💓

  • @krystalmarie3932
    @krystalmarie3932 6 місяців тому +49

    "people who say that i inspire them...okay" LMAOOOO

    • @papayapoe
      @papayapoe  6 місяців тому +6

      like...thank you?!? 😅

  • @adrianarashaun
    @adrianarashaun 5 місяців тому +2

    10:35 definitely so relatable

  • @reallyanti
    @reallyanti 5 місяців тому +2

    broooo but why do I relate so hard lolol

  • @TheRealHermioneW
    @TheRealHermioneW 6 місяців тому +10

    I relate so hard to this. I also moved around a lot as a kid and was very shy and introverted. I too developed a defense mechanism of avoiding people as a way of avoiding rejection. I always prided myself for the fact that I didn’t need people. But the pandemic showed me that I need social connections more than I thought I did. I’m still an introvert and I still need to recharge alone, but I need to balance that with building community with people. Hard to switch off the instinct to self-isolate though. It’s become my comfort zone.

    • @papayapoe
      @papayapoe  6 місяців тому +2

      it's an incredibly hard habit to let go off, but ive noticed that just setting an intention to try and change has helped me a lot!

  • @crankycrafts
    @crankycrafts 5 місяців тому +1

    Hi Poe, new subscriber here from Melbourne! This is a provocative thought, it stirs my pot, anyway I can relate! 💕

  • @heyyitsjoshie
    @heyyitsjoshie 6 місяців тому +27

    First!! 💃🏾🎉💕 I love the mic 😂😂
    I have a hard time connecting in person, being vulnerable is hard because I think a lot about whether or not I'm oversharing, or saying too much too soon. Yet, I'm so comfortable sharing online, whereas there are people who get unbelievably camera shy but they are the most outgoing people in person. It’s funny how imbalanced these things are at times😅

    • @papayapoe
      @papayapoe  6 місяців тому +4

      it's so interesting! i could tell my deepest darkest secret to a stranger online but feel soo embarrassed when my 1 of my friends watch

  • @storiesbydesirae
    @storiesbydesirae 5 місяців тому +2

    I was able to follow your ramble. It's good you're aware of the isolating or the protection your mind is doing. I did not move around a lot like you, but I did have a different upbringing than my friends. This caused me to not be able to be vulnerable and honest when I was struggling. I felt they were able to share their hardships and just ups and downs in life and I struggled to be more open. I actually wrote a poem titled To Friendships Grown Apart Part 1 and 2 in my poetry book (Stay-at-Home Calls for Poetry) that discusses how talking about myself didn't come easily. The idea of best friends and how it's depicted in movies also messed me up with my idea of friendships. How I feel I never knew how to keep friends in elementary and middle school and then by high school and college I never had a best friend started weighing on me. It was because of my doing. I hope you and I both can keep exploring these feelings and awareness to be ourselves and share with the right people so we can have the close friendships that we seek.

  • @tawandtalk
    @tawandtalk Місяць тому +1

    ✨️🦋🙏💖✨️

  • @AsiaaMoniquee
    @AsiaaMoniquee 6 місяців тому +14

    This way of thinking is just like mine its crazy hearing it verbally because im not good at expressing how i feel. I still dont have friends though but when people come into my life im quick to cut them off for my own reasons but i do long for genuine like minded friendships but idk if ill ever find that. I dont like being alone but ive convinced myself i do.

  • @Thatbullhim
    @Thatbullhim 6 місяців тому +14

    Loneliness is a horrible feeling
    We all cope in different ways

  • @TheeSlickShady_Dave_K
    @TheeSlickShady_Dave_K 6 місяців тому +3

    I hope your channel doubles in a week 🏆 sometimes just listening helps people

  • @ReezyDoesIt
    @ReezyDoesIt 6 місяців тому +8

    Honestly that part about people being annoying is reason enough to be distant in your day to day. Certain situation can leave people jaded on really wanting to interact

  • @Aiseworld
    @Aiseworld 6 місяців тому +2

    I'm sorry I've commented this much on your video but it's simply because I think It's a miracle how I wished to see someone like me and I found her immediately I opened my UA-cam this day 27th May, 2024 5:39pm west African time.
    Poe! I will say is Praise on the other side of the planet

  • @CryingScientist
    @CryingScientist 6 місяців тому +3

    Also I can relate because I tend to be too independent. I used to think it was a good thing and enjoyed it, till I realized it was just me pushing people away and not letting them in. Been working on it, I do regret it especially with family. But even with distance, letting go can still be difficult. It’s comforting to hear your thoughts on it and how you deal with it.

  • @srhawki2
    @srhawki2 29 днів тому

    I feel what you are saying soooo hard. And I'm happy to be able to hear someone else verbalize similar feelings.

  • @Les0106
    @Les0106 6 місяців тому +1

    Great video! I don’t mind being around people… but the time I am alone… it is so peaceful and I love it

  • @Jess_Moonflower
    @Jess_Moonflower 5 місяців тому +1

    I so relate. Im not even sure how i decided who i share what with but sometimes i feel like i overshare and othertimes i feel like i undershare. Also, yes to people annoying me all time too. Most of the time i hang out with people because i feel like i have to? But i think i could be mostly fine being alone all the time. I was an only child so maybe that's why.

  • @cherylwarrick
    @cherylwarrick 5 місяців тому +1

    I love your honesty and your videos.

  • @gibbytheartist
    @gibbytheartist 6 місяців тому +2

    I love these deep thoughts and talks, you are doing amazing and I feel you with wanting to isolate myself from others and feeling guilty when I don’t reply to others for weeks just because even conversation is exhausting.

  • @curtish9499
    @curtish9499 6 місяців тому +1

    God bless U, Poe 😊✨️

  • @codecaine
    @codecaine 6 місяців тому +2

    1:35 I love being alone also. It is less stressful than trying to come up with useless conversation to waste time.

  • @CryingScientist
    @CryingScientist 6 місяців тому +3

    First off, love the humor.
    Second, it’s just nice to hear videos like this. Even if I couldn’t relate, which I do, it’s just nice to hear other people’s thoughts on stuff.
    Feels like group therapy in a way. Thanks for the video

  • @garifunaaudiolessons
    @garifunaaudiolessons 6 місяців тому +3

    Poe! I look up to you, don’t stress out

  • @treasanuala
    @treasanuala 6 місяців тому +5

    You deserve so many more subscribers! keep going :)

  • @nalelin6864
    @nalelin6864 6 місяців тому +1

    thank you for this girl!
    you are inspiring and relatable and thank you for speaking on this
    I feel less alone fr x

  • @joshsplace675
    @joshsplace675 6 місяців тому +1

    Oh inspired, because you are being yourself and making videos, while making it look easy. It's really hard for me to just open up and talk like that. But, you seem to have it going for ya. I guess it's something you get better at the more you do it. But, my mind just beats me down each time.

  • @richhylton
    @richhylton 6 місяців тому +1

    Really… beautiful

  • @TheeSlickShady_Dave_K
    @TheeSlickShady_Dave_K 6 місяців тому +1

    Shout out to the editing 🏆

  • @Spiceeyyylibraaaa
    @Spiceeyyylibraaaa 6 місяців тому +1

    So reaalll

  • @astroalia
    @astroalia 6 місяців тому +1

    felt. I def feel like i relate to this heavy. Gatekeeping information about yourself is a great way to put it. And the ppl being annoying thing.

  • @lexilove1111
    @lexilove1111 6 місяців тому +1

    this was so nice to listen to you speak about your experience with self isolating. I do it so much that i dont even know how to be different. I also went thu cutting off friends i felt i no longer needed or that werenet good for me. i related so much to this video and i feel less alone on this mega huge planet with all these people

  • @InjectionSpiderXini
    @InjectionSpiderXini 6 місяців тому +1

    I relate to to this heavily. Currently going through I period of abandonment and not self abandoning. I don't like people and dont believe community exists for me. At least in the common sense of it.

  • @KHaven01
    @KHaven01 6 місяців тому +3

    i just realized she's speaking into a shoe, i'm 6 minutes in.

  • @tawandtalk
    @tawandtalk Місяць тому

    Lol @ the end of this video. 😂😂😂

  • @Soberania-elviajero90091
    @Soberania-elviajero90091 6 місяців тому +1

    You are brave to isolate. You are brave to journey the path of independence. You are safe . This peace.

  • @Siphokazi_H
    @Siphokazi_H 6 місяців тому +2

    Gurl? Same! Everything you said🤭

  • @Dissonance333
    @Dissonance333 6 місяців тому +1

    Gurl you keep popping up in my feed gurl

  • @normalzinha
    @normalzinha 6 місяців тому +4

    Loved your mic hahahah

  • @brushcrawler8612
    @brushcrawler8612 6 місяців тому +2

    Any time I give somebody my phone number, I end up changing it 😂

    • @TheeSlickShady_Dave_K
      @TheeSlickShady_Dave_K 6 місяців тому +1

      I give out my number but I never answer calls or return texts 😂

  • @NLS336
    @NLS336 6 місяців тому +1

    You do inspire me.

  • @lamonteplays
    @lamonteplays 6 місяців тому +1

    11:33 lmfao

  • @Aiseworld
    @Aiseworld 6 місяців тому +1

    Put yourself to a test of reducing the amount of 'I' you say in a word and prove that you aren't the other me on the other side of the planet

  • @TharealKBGames
    @TharealKBGames 6 місяців тому +1

    Wow the UA-cam algorithm brought me In shawty

  • @garifunaaudiolessons
    @garifunaaudiolessons 6 місяців тому +1

    Also have you ever been made fun of for being alone?

    • @papayapoe
      @papayapoe  6 місяців тому +2

      I've never been made fun of for it! it's definitely been more of an internal shame

  • @peacefaith2939
    @peacefaith2939 5 місяців тому

    gurl you Talkin in a shoe?? this new generation, what happened?! they soft and they doing nothing with their lives but vlogging

  • @brotherjoll1802
    @brotherjoll1802 6 місяців тому

    shave ur heaaaad nah jk

  • @Soberania-elviajero90091
    @Soberania-elviajero90091 6 місяців тому +1

    English language ponders one’s thoughts and it’s tricky. Do not over analyze your decisions.