Same girl. In middle school, i had a friend I would walk around recess and eat lunch with everyday and then all of a sudden one day she told me i didnt have a life and to stop following her around. At the time it was devastating and i cried in the bathroom and missed my next class...but looking back im like wow, she was just trying to fit in with the cool kids by putting me down and it actually had nothing to do with me or anything i did wrong. Kids can be so cruel. I also mirror people i socialize with and "blend in" which can make me anxious about mixing with multiple people or friends at once.
Thank you for sharing! I’ve learned that the pressure to fit in never truly goes away in life. Trying to be authentic in the type of world we live in is tough! I’m learning that this is a life long battle that we’re all dealing with. Be encouraged.
9:36 I ALSO don't like friend groups mixing and omg fun story! Last year my best friend was moving out of our apartment. They said their coworkers friend was going to help them move. Well when their coworkers friend showed up, my jaw dropped. It was MY FRIEND from a completely different circle (and a nfsw one too). And I learned my old nsfw friends were friends with my best friends coworker. My brain actually broke and I had a bad dissociative episode. My brain doesn't do well when worlds collide and 3 different worlds collided all at once!!!
I do feel similarly. I kinda kinda relate to the mirroring thing, sometimes people’s vibe is so strong i feel like i can get pulled into their way of being without necessarily wanting to. But mostly I am an over thinker and have relationship anxiety with friends and romantic interests. I know I need to work on self-love and acceptance so that I can just be comfortable enough to be as I am, but it is hard to stick to that when so many people can have a negative reaction to my “quirks.” I am not giving up though, I know there are other kind and sensitive souls out there waiting to make a true friend as well.
there was def a point in grade school where i was like, "if i were only funny, ppl would like me." and that became the mission, whether i was being authentic or not
Poe if you get to read this comment. Know that TAIKEEDA was always here watching. Life is strange and we never know when we are going to die. I really appreciate the time you put into making your videos and I appreciate your ideas, it's authentic and it makes you stand out
I related to this a lot, but since been diagnosed with autism I’ve really been working on not just mimicking people and trying to be authentically me. Also your voice is so nice!!
i really relate to what you shared. most of it, for me, has to do with being autistic & having adhd: i had to learn to subconsciously mask my true self, to the point where it feels impossible to know who my "true self" is, or who i could've been without having been made to feel like an outsider inherently. i wonder if you could be neurovaried too? if you're unsure/curious, you might want to look into masking adhd/autism 🤷 of course, race also plays a huge role, and i also was one of the few racialized kids at my elementary school, so obviously that played a big role in feeling ostracized as well
7:46 I had to pause cause omg I do the same exact thing!!!! You remind me a lot of myself and I recently got diagnosed at the age of 25 with autism. I also was diagnosed with adhd but that specific thing you are talking about is a big autistic trait of mine. No wonder your channel feels so safe 💕
Very Interesting, thanks for sharing. Congratulations for figuring this out at a young age. Some people never become that aware. It takes time to understand who you are. I think we exist on two levels… the ‘real’ self and the social personality. As you give up the constructed social personality, then the real self can start to emerge. What is that? Aha… have fun finding out (hint:- you feel it, in your belly and heart and especially in your throat)
oh wow, if you're crazy i'm insane. i realize i have really been unpacking this recently and how the anxiety from this has physically affected my brain/body health. things improve a little every day but thank you for saying this out loud
i'm sorry, this is very off-topic, but i immediately thought of the actor taylor russel seconds into you speaking. this is the only video i've watched of you, but you come across soso soft spoken and calming. you have a very grounding presence, just the way you speak, and your voice is so lovely.
That is the story of my life. I am 22 ans I know that feeling so well. You should think about researching « masking » in autistic women, I am not assuming that you are, but that can help you understand why you fonction the way you do .( sorry if the text is awful english is not my first language)
I was wondering about that too. When she described her experience, my first thought was, "That sounds like masking." I'm autistic, and was definitely one of the "weird" kids (but I was lucky, in that I just fell in with the other "weird" kids, instead of trying to fit in with the "popular" ones).
Hello Poe Nice to see your content you are really doing well . I am a video editor but here i notice video editing part ...video editing can convert your content to Next Level and Viral if your videos look attractive then you can get huge engagement and convert your revenue/channel growth 5x more. I also do Thumbnails design, Video SEO and I am a video editor. If your say then i will do for it with 100% satisfaction, its not video editing it about telling a story about your self business or may be the world around in today's everyone try to tell there own story but sometimes words are not enough and the come video editing
You aren’t crazy. Sometimes we all have to put on a mask to blend in or feel accepted. I hadn’t been, my authentic self in 15 years. Due to trying to be a “cool kid”. I’m done with that. I also went to a suburban school where I was the weird black kid for a year.(ISOLATED)Kids can be cruel. Hate to blow up your video. But self love is the only answer. Unapologetically love yourself. Not in a selfish way either. You are going to lose friends.. You will make new ones. The people I wanted to impress. don’t even contact me anymore. It’s a waste of time you need people that will add to you not destroy. You or I can delete this. Doesn’t matter just hope you get the message. ☮️
The anxiety may be heightened when you mix friend groups but maybe it’s always kinda there. I may be wrong but I feel like you’re a bit hyper vigilant and could benefit from learning nervous system regulatory skills. Obviously there’s a multitude of reasons why you may feel like you lack knowledge of who you are, but one might be that you’re not present enough when you’re around people to know how you actually feel.
we so much a lot you’re someone I will actually crave wanting to watch it’s like I’m having a conversation with myself I also mirror people a lot without even realizing it sometimes that can be overwhelming but I work on centering myself at times 🫶🏾
As an autistic person your words have really resonated with me ♡ you've put my entire being into words wow
Same girl. In middle school, i had a friend I would walk around recess and eat lunch with everyday and then all of a sudden one day she told me i didnt have a life and to stop following her around. At the time it was devastating and i cried in the bathroom and missed my next class...but looking back im like wow, she was just trying to fit in with the cool kids by putting me down and it actually had nothing to do with me or anything i did wrong. Kids can be so cruel.
I also mirror people i socialize with and "blend in" which can make me anxious about mixing with multiple people or friends at once.
@@nienaamnonaamtrue, like I’m telling you right now to get a life instead going around invalidating strangers on the internet
@@nyeguono thank you
@@nienaamnonaam you’re welcome, doing the Lord’s work ain’t easy🥱
Thank you for sharing! I’ve learned that the pressure to fit in never truly goes away in life. Trying to be authentic in the type of world we live in is tough! I’m learning that this is a life long battle that we’re all dealing with. Be encouraged.
trying to fit has messed me up in so different aspects... till this day i question if my choices are mine or someone else's
9:36 I ALSO don't like friend groups mixing and omg fun story! Last year my best friend was moving out of our apartment. They said their coworkers friend was going to help them move. Well when their coworkers friend showed up, my jaw dropped. It was MY FRIEND from a completely different circle (and a nfsw one too). And I learned my old nsfw friends were friends with my best friends coworker. My brain actually broke and I had a bad dissociative episode. My brain doesn't do well when worlds collide and 3 different worlds collided all at once!!!
I do feel similarly. I kinda kinda relate to the mirroring thing, sometimes people’s vibe is so strong i feel like i can get pulled into their way of being without necessarily wanting to. But mostly I am an over thinker and have relationship anxiety with friends and romantic interests. I know I need to work on self-love and acceptance so that I can just be comfortable enough to be as I am, but it is hard to stick to that when so many people can have a negative reaction to my “quirks.” I am not giving up though, I know there are other kind and sensitive souls out there waiting to make a true friend as well.
there was def a point in grade school where i was like, "if i were only funny, ppl would like me." and that became the mission, whether i was being authentic or not
it's very hard to escape a type casting
Poe if you get to read this comment. Know that TAIKEEDA was always here watching. Life is strange and we never know when we are going to die. I really appreciate the time you put into making your videos and I appreciate your ideas, it's authentic and it makes you stand out
Taikeeda thank you! I truly appreciate that you watch my videos. Viewers like you are the reason I keep making them
@@papayapoeI am also a part of this tribe of subscribers. I love the vibe of the channel
I related to this a lot, but since been diagnosed with autism I’ve really been working on not just mimicking people and trying to be authentically me. Also your voice is so nice!!
I really Understand you
i really relate to what you shared. most of it, for me, has to do with being autistic & having adhd: i had to learn to subconsciously mask my true self, to the point where it feels impossible to know who my "true self" is, or who i could've been without having been made to feel like an outsider inherently. i wonder if you could be neurovaried too? if you're unsure/curious, you might want to look into masking adhd/autism 🤷 of course, race also plays a huge role, and i also was one of the few racialized kids at my elementary school, so obviously that played a big role in feeling ostracized as well
I relate to this so much having an underdeveloped sense of self is tought
The film frame adds a documentary style.
This is so relatable
gee you are gorgeous. everyone must have been jealous of you.
you've inspired me; and I don't mean that ironically
Thanks for sharing. Have a great week.
7:46 I had to pause cause omg I do the same exact thing!!!! You remind me a lot of myself and I recently got diagnosed at the age of 25 with autism. I also was diagnosed with adhd but that specific thing you are talking about is a big autistic trait of mine. No wonder your channel feels so safe 💕
I specifically call it "energy matching" but mirroring is something I learned in the autistic community
I'm happy that I'm not the only autistic person that spotted some similarities
People be fake Shawty on god.. Keep your head up
Very Interesting, thanks for sharing. Congratulations for figuring this out at a young age. Some people never become that aware.
It takes time to understand who you are. I think we exist on two levels… the ‘real’ self and the social personality. As you give up the constructed social personality, then the real self can start to emerge.
What is that? Aha… have fun finding out (hint:- you feel it, in your belly and heart and especially in your throat)
Just subscribed for personal interest😂😂😂😂
oh wow, if you're crazy i'm insane. i realize i have really been unpacking this recently and how the anxiety from this has physically affected my brain/body health. things improve a little every day but thank you for saying this out loud
i'm sorry, this is very off-topic, but i immediately thought of the actor taylor russel seconds into you speaking. this is the only video i've watched of you, but you come across soso soft spoken and calming. you have a very grounding presence, just the way you speak, and your voice is so lovely.
huge compliment omg😭😭
This is some really deep thoughts. This is the second video of yours I am watching, and I find your content very absorbing and interesting.
WE LIVED THE SAME CHILDHOOD!!!!!!
WE DID?!
You’re real
That is the story of my life. I am 22 ans I know that feeling so well. You should think about researching « masking » in autistic women, I am not assuming that you are, but that can help you understand why you fonction the way you do .( sorry if the text is awful english is not my first language)
Fr as an autistic person I was wondering if these were traits that could point to being on the spectrum so relatable
I was wondering about that too. When she described her experience, my first thought was, "That sounds like masking." I'm autistic, and was definitely one of the "weird" kids (but I was lucky, in that I just fell in with the other "weird" kids, instead of trying to fit in with the "popular" ones).
Virgina's for lovers state @Poe
Hello Poe Nice to see your content you are really doing well . I am a video editor but here i notice video editing part ...video editing can convert your content to Next Level and Viral if your videos look attractive then you can get huge engagement and convert your revenue/channel growth 5x more. I also do Thumbnails design, Video SEO and I am a video editor. If your say then i will do for it with 100% satisfaction, its not video editing it about telling a story about your self business or may be the world around in today's everyone try to tell there own story but sometimes words are not enough and the come video editing
Honest words, you can't be yourself and this society, and the future will be worse
You aren’t crazy. Sometimes we all have to put on a mask to blend in or feel accepted.
I hadn’t been, my authentic self in 15 years. Due to trying to be a “cool kid”. I’m done with that.
I also went to a suburban school where I was the weird black kid for a year.(ISOLATED)Kids can be cruel. Hate to blow up your video. But self love is the only answer. Unapologetically love yourself. Not in a selfish way either.
You are going to lose friends.. You will make new ones. The people I wanted to impress. don’t even contact me anymore. It’s a waste of time you need people that will add to you not destroy.
You or I can delete this. Doesn’t matter just hope you get the message. ☮️
The anxiety may be heightened when you mix friend groups but maybe it’s always kinda there. I may be wrong but I feel like you’re a bit hyper vigilant and could benefit from learning nervous system regulatory skills. Obviously there’s a multitude of reasons why you may feel like you lack knowledge of who you are, but one might be that you’re not present enough when you’re around people to know how you actually feel.
Superrrr unsolicited but I felt the need to share lol
First comment!
we so much a lot you’re someone I will actually crave wanting to watch it’s like I’m having a conversation with myself I also mirror people a lot without even realizing it sometimes that can be overwhelming but I work on centering myself at times 🫶🏾