I would describe the feeling after self harming as what I imagine the relief smokers have when they smoke after a stressful situation. does that make sense
An easier way to explain it is say that it's blinding mental pain with physical pain. For a while you get out of your head and things seem real again. That's what it's like for m anyway.
yupp. Same for me. You get relief from the constant mental pain due to the physical pain. Which is funny, as I suffer also from chronic pain (costochodritis) and it does the same. I rarely have both at the same time.
Yes and aside from needing to feel the control of me and the world I also think that part to be kinda like “made worse” due to others as it was to me like a ‘validation’ as to my pain since after I did that it wasn’t just “all in my head/ on me” type of thing and was like able to be like confirmed ?? (I dk if that makes sense but being mistreated I feel like I’m kinda dismissed with things))
I had no idea the two disorders were related till I looked back when I was cutting and I did have eating disorders at the same time. ...I gave my razors to my therapist and made her promise if I asked for them back she would give them to me.After a ton of work on myself I forgot I even gave them to her .I haven't cut since and it's been almost 10 years.
@ezfunshine Wow I cut with a razor to. I hope someday I can be like you and stop this harmful habit. Thank you , you inspired me and I know someday I'm gonna stop this . :)
A great coping skill I learned a long long time ago to offset or "substitute" the cutting was to hold ice cubes in each hand until they have fully melted. It doesn't give the exact same release, however it does help significantly. Focusing in on the feelings and then the numbness and cold works almost the same way, and has helped me many times!
YES! Same. Tho I hate dribbling, so I used the rubber band method. I've upgraded to the lotion method. I'm glad you're spreading healthier coping methods. I like to think of the rubber band and ice cube stuff as nicotine patches, while lotion and drawing (on the skin you want to wound) are better.
Alycia D My therapist told me that, but it just made it worse. I’d hold several and I just wanted to do the salt and ice challenge... then thoughts of actually bunting myself and I gave in and burnt a spot on my hand and I started cutting again after almost three years
@@ChristianPsychedelica I don't really like the ice cube method but it doesn't make me worse. It seems pointless for me. I am glad it helps some people though.
@@MegaKhelditia I’m not someone who has done self harm but that sounds similar to meditation. My unqualified suggestion is to try meditation. My recommendation is Doctor K’s meditation guide
I usually do it in connection with panic attacks. When I get panic attacks or very bad anxiety I tend to sh to "snap out" of it and to get bring myself back down again. I've been clean for almost a year now, it's been an intense battle, but I had some amazing friends who were really supportive
I was told that when you hurt yourself your brain tries to calm you down so that your blood isn't pumping that fast around your body (therefore you loose less blood) apparently this is why it makes you feel calm...knowing this actually helped me so much because then it encouraged me to find something else that calmed me and made me feel the same way... Not gonna lie it was a long process finding what worked for me! After so long of looking I found that playing or teaching my self keyboard is what did it for me.
Its like a release to me. Like I can finally BREATH and my head becomes clear and it lifts the fog. Its the best feeling after a ruff day and when I look at the cuts it looks beautiful to me. I usually do it on my hips so no one can see, but sometimes I slip up and do it on my arms which is harder to keep secret. Its kinda weird I want someone to know and help me but i dont want my family to know or the people I hold close to me. And after I do it sometimes the next day i feel sick at myself. I dont know its a crazy thing
Team Cynda I feel that way too. It snaps me out of my disassociation and anxiety. And as awful as it sounds after I’m done I see my cuts and scars as beautiful too.
I asked about the blood beautification at the hospital. It's something everyone is supposed to intuitively understand when they see it. Many might not. Please, just never give up unus unus.
I'm over a year clean from cutting but lately I have been triggered to cut and even tho I want to stay clean I also want to give in. Just if you believe in prayer please help me pray for my mental health so I can get better soon.
I actually have to disagree on a lot of this. To me it is about the pain and the blood. I cut to punish myself and to calm down my anxiety. If there's no blood I think "my god I'm so pathetic I can't even do it properly".. and I simply go a bit deeper. Cutting without seeing some blood just wouldn't do it for me. For example I cut myself in the stomach when I've been eating too much. So as I said - to me it's all about punishing myself.
I agree. I think to an extent it is about the blood, because the main thing that kind of calmed me down and distressed myself was seeing the blood rushing down. I guess what you said about not being good enough if you could even make your self bleed.
I know what you mean I used to do the same thing. Tbh, I stopped cutting only because it causes scars.. But I still stopped it doesn't really matter what the reason was, and let me tell you the truth, without cutting I feel a little better, I feel a little less.. lets call it "messed up". I still feel fucked up but I feel a relief. Also I hate the scars.. It reminds me of how weak I am but at the same time it makes me want to make more.. I know it doesn't really make sense, but it's worth to stop cutting, because cutting doesn't help and it doesn't do anything good, only bad. So please listen to me and don't cut yourself you're too beautiful for that.
I sort of agree with you, but for me seeing the blood helps me calm down and the pain is something for me to focus on other than my emotional pain. Personally, it's not about punishing myself, it's about ACTUALLY feeling something
I self harm but your videos are so helpful in fighting relapses. I got so triggered today because a couple of girls were pointing at my cuts in the locker room.
Ever since I was 11 I have never gone more than 5 months & 1 day without self-harming, and I'm 20 now. On New Year's Day I'll have broken that record and I'm so excited to almost be completely free from this addiction. What made me stop is when I ended up in a psychiatric hospital, and I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, which made me realize why I felt the need to outlet the depression. I thought I wasn't allowed to feel depressed because that wasn't me, that was other people. So I took it out on myself so I only I would know. It has been some of the hardest recovery imaginable, but I am so excited to beat my personal best & hopefully help others with awareness and coping.
people that joke about self harm are ignorant and insensitive. Every time you joke about it you never know who's around that's struggling with it. You could end up triggering them to hurt themselves. Also don't try self harming. Some people can try it and stop but for a lot of people it becomes an addiction. Self harm is a vicious cycle that's really hard to stop. Plus saying something like that is taking something that's really serious and turning it into a joke
Lizzy Mitchell i see your point but often people who joke about these things struggle with them 2 and joking about it is just a way for them to normalise it
But self harm could be good if you look at it in a different light like me I do it on impulse and the only reason I have that impulse is because I'm so useless that I couldn't get most emotions when I snapped. The reason I'm telling you this is because I want to and it seems like it would be an interesting conversation kek
Katie! I couldn't help but chuckle at "just scratching the surface"...that was funny! You're too cute :) Thanks so much for sharing on this. I work with a lot of youth who "cut" as a way to cope with various negative feelings/emotions. Again, I appreciate the breadth and depth of your videos! You rock...
I just can't help it. When I feel extremely down and numb, I'm just desperate to feel alive. And as the blade slides down, I feel a surge of warmth that evaporates the numbness. The feeling is sooo addictive. It is not comforting, but distracts me from the real discomfort. It feels like the lesser of two evils. There is no point in getting rid of blades, since now I'm even used to cut with my own fingernails.
I have found that journaling helps. It helped me sort out my thoughts and feelings so that I could think about what was going on more clearly. Also, watching UA-cam videos by selfharmsupport and others like them have helped. Sometimes they are answering questions and I find it helpful to sometimes answer the questions too. It helps me think about things. :)
I had no idea my cutting and starving my self was related . I'm not glorify such behavior . I just want to thank you for explaining it to my family and friends !!!!
For me, it serves multiple purposes. It's about control, since I don't have control over any other part of my life. It also serves as a stress relief when the world is too overwhelming. It also helps me to release and bottle up my emotions, because letting them out would be too much to handle. My therapist and I go back and forth on this. I've seen your video about emotions coming in waves and that they will end, but I can't trust that. My despair and hopelessness is too deep and it never ends. So I have to keep my emotions under wraps for safety.
It's nice to see someone understand and get it for once! I suffer from BPD and enjoy watching your videos as I find them very informative. I have not cut in almost a year but still struggle with it every day!
I just found out today that my beautiful 15 yr old niece has been doing this. Thank you Katie! This was very helpful! Love to all of you out there struggling with this! ❤❤❤❤
I'd like to thank you so much. I showed my best friend this video, and the back of her hands and upper arms and wrists are just filled with scars, and after the video she said "Finally someone understands." she hasn't cut for four months and I am so proud of her. My outlet that helped me stop was rock music.
I practised self-harm when I was 12-13 because It was when I started suffering from depression and I didn't really feel anything but pain, so I was like "I'm going to cut because it's the only emotion I can cause myself to have." It also showed on the outside the pain I was feeling on the inside. When I started getting better, I instantly stopped cutting and It wasn't really an issue. I had a lot of friends whatsoever who suffered from depression and cut throughout their teens and they did have a whole lot of problem to stop self-harming. One of them used to write stuff on their wrists and arms with a red pen as a coping way to stop herself from cutting and It worked as far as I know.
I'm going on 3 weeks of no cutting. I have been struggling since I was 12. I'm now 25 so this is a big deal for me. I think if I didn't meet my therapist 6 months ago I wouldn't be where I am with it. she doesn't make me feel ashamed for it. it's nice to know that if you mess up its not the end of the world we just go to dust off and try again.
Especially since with substance abuse, it takes 3-5 times, on average, to fully quit. I figure it's similar for other addictions, like ED and SH. I'm 23 and have been dealing with this since I was 10, so I feel ya. I'm simply grateful for my support network of friends and fam, else I might have actually relapsed, recently, when I had to wear a rubber band bracelet as a kind of nicotine patch. Better than keeping easy knives on me.
From reading all this comments, wow, I'm so proud of all you that stopped or are trying to stop.... Good job very one!!!!! I'm clean almost 3 years now... And are prode for the help you give Kati...
I was hospitalized and when I was discharged, I started attending an awesome outpatient PHP program (partial hospitalization).This led me to get my cutting under control. I received a lot of support from this.
This is such an amazing explanation of cutting. You do such a good job. I've struggled with self harm for over 10 years. It's so nice to have a good explanation by a professional out there. Thanks so much!
thank you for your videos. I haven't cut in many years, I only wished I had gotten help sooner. I found that having a safer outlet for my anger really helpful. I always worried about showing anger so directed it at myself but there are lots of safer ways, art and excersise works for me. it gets better and scars heal.
Kati.. you understand. You actually understand. I've never heard someone that isn't/wasn't personally a self-harmer talk about this the way you do. You amaze me....
I've replaced cutting with other behaviours such as eating chilli peppers, taking a shower, exercising, being around pets an just even going for a walk. I'm also participating in the butterfly project :) yayrecovery!
After being clean for years now and very rarely thinking about it, watching this back brought back some emotions I didn't know I had been repressing. I didn't realise how much I needed to hear a professional understand it and explain how the shame of it can be so debilitating. So thank you Kati for helping me now, years down the line after pulling myself out of it, understand even better what I was going through.
I always had a hard time figuring out why I cut. The best I’ve come up with is that it’s an externalizations of the emotional pain I feel inside that I can’t express. Kind of like, “look, I’m hurting, help.” And it’s true, it doesn’t hurt physically when I’m in that space.
My therapist introduced me to something called vent art. Not necessarily Gore art or sad art, but the creation of abstract colouring and intricate design. This helped me stop self harming and became a really good distraction that not only made me feel good about my creation but I'd give my art pieces to people who I cared for. Making me feel better times 100!
I love how you say that we are seeking a neutral state through cutting. this is SO TRUE! either I want to numb the anger or sadness or I wanna feel myself again. I want to get back to a normal state, I want this release fron feelings that are too overwhelming. And NO, it doesnt hurt. the state you are in BEFORE cutting hurts more. the only thing that really helped me is running away. get out of the situation and do sth else! get distracted! do sth ACTIVE cause it will calm u down or bring u back
Peter Beck Yea I know the feeling. It's been almost 2 years with me. Everyday it's hard, especially when you work with a blade and your work stresses you out, especially with costumers. :/
i've been self harming for 5 years and having an eating disorder for about 3 and honestly this is the first time that i've ever actually heard someone talk about it like how i understand it. and it makes me feel like i'm not alone by this. i'm just tearing up and this video is so beautiful and thank you
The comment that says cutting is what they imagine a smoker feels like after they smoke after a stressful situation, is sooooooooo accurate. Its the best analogy ive heard yet by far. Its a coping mechanism.... Albeit a VERY UNHEALTHY one, it is a coping strategy. Its like some people scream when they get to a point where things melt down, some people go for a walk, some listen to music, those of us with unhealthy, or those of us who havent learned healthy ways... We cut. I thank you for taking a serious look at the topic, and not immidiately diving into "attention seeking"....
I’m a college student and my mental health has been declining for the past year. I have been using self harm as an outlet to unleash my frustration towards school more this semester than any other semester. My doctor found out about it and she told my therapist. I ended up dropping my classes this semester because I was getting to the point where I was failing my classes despite the hard work I put in and eventually stopped doing the work required to pass my classes. My doctor and therapist recommended me to drop my classes. My doctor even wrote a letter and sent it to the dean at my school explaining why I needed to drop classes. Right now, I have a job in my college town working about 20 hours a week and I am still able to play my instruments in my university wind ensemble and pep band. I’m so happy with life right now. I haven’t cut myself in 2 weeks!
That is so amazing! Never feel bad for not doing what "should be done" just do whatever is best for you and makes you happy, I'm so glad to hear someone fight through it and make the change to get better because you will get better and one day you'll forget about it ❤
You inspired me to go to a therapist. I've told about my cutting and suicidal thoughts. I got my antidepressants today. I'm on my way to recovery. Thank you so much. And I'd like to tell everybody that's it is okay to ask for help. There are so many nice people out there who want to help you out, even if you don't see a way out yourself. I know how hard it is to take the first step, but please let others help you.
I've just watched this video and i feel somewhat understood... I have a best friend who has a history of self-harm and i never like understood why she would do it, It's painful and discomforting but today here im feeling urges of self-harm. I just got in an argument with my friend yesterday and to say the least i feel overwhelmed and i feel more like a bad friend and a part of me is telling that im not and a part of me is telling that i am... i really just dont want to think about but at the same time i dont want to harm myself, Im aware of self-harm and have somewhat of a good understanding in the topic but there are times where i feel like i will harm myself one day... and i dont want to imagine it or do it but I feel like i will. videos like these calm my mind but i dont feel comfortable enough to talk about this with anyone irl... I feel like i will be judged incorrectly so, ii have to figure this out on my own... but thank you for this video
Hi kati I wanted to tell you I've gone a week without cutting..... Yeah I'm finding my councilor abit stuffy now but I have support from wonderfull people here. Thank you and thank you to those who help me. Love to you. Xxx
One way I'd describe my cutting was to actually transfer the mental & psychological pain (that was caused by a number of different reasons, guilt included) to a physical pain - much easier to control and to deal with. The pain was comforting, but seeing the wounds heal was even more. If my boyfriend didn't accidentaly saw my cuts (I was ashamed of telling anyone, even my therapist) I don't know if I would've stopped. Having someone who loves & supports you know about it really does help :) x
Thank you for your great videos i am just begining recovery after almost 19 years of SH i never thought helping others would be the way that i would start my recovery but it has i work with youth and seeing them doing the things i have been dealing with for years has made me want to get help so i can better help them help is not easy to find but worth trying :)
What's been really hard for me to come to terms with is that it's so addicting. I've been clean for a while now, but the temptation never seems to go away...and it really is how you say it is, it has a lot of parallels with binges. It just puts a stop to this really big negative emotion I have no idea how to deal with. And it gives you some sort of a high too. Stay strong everybody.
I am not completely over it and I don't have a therapist, but one thing that helps a person in recovery is figuring out what your triggers are. Once you figure those out you will be able to learn how to deal with those, avoid those, or "control" those.
:) Thanks. It feels really comforting to not be weird you know? And it's really kind that you take the time out of your day to reply to all the comments you get. It means a lot to me, and I'm sure it means a lot to the others as well.
I self harm due to unwanted thoughts/extreme emotional overload, like an intense shock going off in in my head. The self harm gives me a relief even momentarily. I only felt this way three years when I was blamed wrongly but now my self harm has got worst in the last year. I am trying to control that extreme emotional/depressive moment. I wish to stop self harming, I do. If you see me in my personal/work life, you wouldn’t even know. I hide it well, for the meanwhile anyhow
Hey kati THANK YOU!!!!! I am a very happy bunny right now I have added it to my joural under a heading Some good news and said Kati added MY poem to her website!!!!!! that has made my day I love it and thanks for replying to all my messages THANKS Jess xx
I cut myself because the scares are an outward representation of the pain I have felt inside me for so long. My pin was invisible and all I wanted was validation that it’s not in my head that I’m really suffering. I don’t recommend cutting because honestly it hurts and adds more pain, but at the same time I can’t stop because I need it, because I was the scares to match how I feel inside. I don’t do it for validation from others all I really wanted for validation from myself to prove to myself I’m in so much pain.
Thank u, im glad that your tryin to tackle a much needed issue among us today. I self harmed for jst over 8 years which caused extensive scarrin on my whole body S/H was abit different for me thou as most of the time it was about causing pain, pain that i could control, how much it hurt n where. Calmin the pain in my head that i couldn't understand with one i could heal n look after. If i could see the pain i felt better. Its been 2 years almost since i last cut but the scars will never fade.
i'm not promoting it at all, but i actually do it for the pain and blood also, that pun, i laughed so much at that, it helps. as someone going through it, it helps
Laughter is quite the catharsis. And kinda same? The pain was what I wanted, but the blood made me feel better, especially if the mark lasted. Lotion is a better thing to do to your skin.
I know this video is a little old... but there is now a DSM-5 diagnosis for self injury! Non-Suicidal Self Injury. :) yay a classification! just for others who are only seeing this video now, like myself... here is what the DSM-5, the latest update to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, says... "According to DSM-5, NSSI diagnostic criteria are as follows (American Psychiatric Association, 2013): Over the past year, the person has for at least 5 days engaged in self-injury, with the anticipation that the injury will result in some bodily harm. No suicidal intent. The act is not socially acceptable.The act or its consequence can cause significant distress to the individual’s daily life.The act is not taking place during psychotic episodes, delirium, substance intoxication, or substance withdrawal. It also cannot be explained by another medical condition.The individual engages in self-injury expecting toGet relief from a negative emotionTo deal with a personal issueTo create a positive feeling The self-injury is associated with one of the following: The individual experienced negative feelings right before committing the act.Right before self-injury, the individual was preoccupied with the planned actThe individual thinks a lot about self-injury even if act does not take place."
The two things that I found help the most are art and exercise. I take pictures all the time and it really helps me destress and express myself. I also started running and biking everyday. It gets me out of the house, it makes me feel more self confident, & it gives a similar endorphin type release that cutting does. Also what I've learned is don't beat yourself up over one relapse! Don't feel defeated; it doesn't mean you're back at square one in your recovery. Good luck everyone
I used to cut as a teenager. Now after 20 years I started again. It's so hard to get over because, unfortunately, it works. I'm struggling, but I know I can make it.
hi, kati! i hope you're doing well. i want to thank you so much for what you're doing & posting videos such as this. as a fifteen year old, it's so wonderful to have someone speaking out about issues like self harm that's so overlooked & ridiculed by my peers. it's so nice to see that i'm not alone, & someone understands why i've struggled with this even when sometimes i don't. i'd love to talk to you through email, or message, or whatever is best for you. you are so inspiring. much love!! x
Thank you for making this video. I didn't get new information but I felt much better after seeing the video because somebody knows that this is a problem that should be treated
Self harm suck, I watch this video so much... I was 8 when I stated... I’m now 16, and I still regularly self harm... I can’t make it stop. I have kind of given in now and accepted that this is how I will be forever.... also love you katiiiiiii😘😘
to help me I got scared to talk out loud so I talked to my teachers explaining I don't have confidence in me and they helped me so much I don't do talks or presentations really. I found that my friend helped me through a lot saying like they know what I m going through and everything that they said made me feel better. I wear bandages on my arms to school to hide scars but no one suspects a thing I'm slowly recovering now :)
Niamh Downie I'm glad you're recovering from it. :) With the help of my friend and my family I was able to seek help for SH and my eating disorder and am now slowly (very slowly) recovering from it. I wish you good luck on your journey to a better, healthier life. :)
Always tell a friend... I was cutting for 2 years and I'm 15. But I told a trusted friends a couple months ago and you feel so much better knowing you have someone to talk to. It takes a lot to tell them but once you do it you'll thank yourself later and remember you're beautiful☺️
i am almost 8 months clean and tbh its really hard cause every time something bad happens I find myself thinking that maybe now its the time to relapse and nobody will know.. I just want this nightmare to end but U don't know how to end it cause I'm not allowed to see a therapist and shit. I'm just really damn happy with being 8 months clean.
I can completely see the parallels between the two! I, being someone who has an eating disorder, and my ex partner who has deals with cutting. Even though we are not together anymore we both made leaps and bounds in improving our mental health by sharing our stories. Making the correlation between the two and how they both stem from the same type of patterns and behaviors. Sounds corny, but sharing really is caring. And getting up the courage to truly express the distress we can be in was incredibly beautiful and healing. It’s so hard and there is still lots of work to do. But taking those first steps. Realizing that the actual “behaviors” we engaged in were different but the root was very much one we had in common. IF you have someone you can trust and confide in, find a SAFE SPACE where you don’t have to worry about feeling judged or threatened. And share. And let them love on you. Let them care. There is no shame in NEEDING the support and attention that is vital to getting better. So much love for everyone out who is in the trenches with us fighting each day!
For me it's a relief. The times I did it, and it was at least five times, it was because I was with a different sadness. A desperate sadness, I just wanted to get it out of me, and at the same time there was a feeling that I deserved to suffer. The pain seemed a deserved punishment to myself. The strange thing is that this becomes an addiction. I need to try hard not to do this every time I have this feeling. Because I do not want to be scarred. I'm very ashamed of my scars, I have several on my arm and five times that on my upper legs. I do not feel good when I see these scars, they seem like a constant reminder of a failure. And it's hard work hiding this from people, it's always too much of a concern. I still have a razor in my wallet that I carry everywhere, although I do not use it for several months or even want to use it, there is a certain sense of security to know that it is there. Is weird.
Kati I loved your 'Therapist dirty little secret'. Also your explanations are on message & are simply stated. Too many therapist are jargonistic & don't deal with BPD well, and inadvertently add to the BPD feeling of inadequacy/abandonment. Therefore they become part of the problem. Unfortunately those with BPD come away thinking 'well if the therapist is unable to help me, then I am beyond help'. I am a DBT therapist. My message is 'find the right therapist'. If the one you see doesn't help, it isn't your fault.
i just want to relieve everything and make it go away and doing that gives me the brief feeling that the world stops and like when i do i feel as though i deserve it and it’s a punishment
This is very good content. I never understood why people whould harm themselves. Now I'm one of these peoples and I understand. I would have never thought I would someday belong to "those" people and I'm certainly not happy about that but anyways I believe I can fight it. 4 Days clean! Thanks Kati for helping me and others. Because one can only fight a problem if one understands it.
I do it as a feeling of being in control and most recently a feeling of punishment. When I do it I feel myself inflicting pain rather than when others or the thing that sets me off does it. I gives me a feeling of “this is just me, I’m doing this, I control where this goes” and it feels good. More recently I have thoughts of “cut later, you deserve it” (not in a good way, more of my mind using it negatively) but either way when I do it I just gain a sense of control.
Love this video :) My way of harming is deemed by so many people as 'not serious' and just leave me to it cause they don't see it as a big issue, hopefully people like that will see videos like this and realise they need to sit up and pay attention :)
For me, it is kind of about the pain, and the blood. The pain gives me an instant emotion that is easily recognizable, when I am in a state of mind that I cannot decipher what I am feeling. I like your video :)
My husband is a medic in the army. Since my SH is likned to my PTSD and he is trained to deal with that, he has been able to help me alot. I'm not fully over it, I still relapse and experience flashbacks, but it's much less severe or less often than it was; now that I've been able to work through some of those traumatic and blocked memories.
reading really helps me when i feel the need to self harm. Im still in recovery and finding a good book really helps, i suffer from anorexia b/p type as well and reading a book or article about how someone has recovered from self injury and eating disorders inspires me and helps me alot. Finnding another social medium helped, i vent about my struggles on twitter and youtube too, i write/film about everything that goes through my head and it gets rid of it and doesn't let it build :)
For me it was extremely hard to find out what was the core of my self harm behaviour... I always thought I'd do it because I hate myself and want to punish myself for things I've done or for the way I am, but that's just a part of it. Most of the time I do it to take control and to numb the feelings that I'm feeling when they just get too overwhelming. That can be any feeling from fear, shame, sadness, hate, anger, guilt or even extreme happiness when it just overwhelms me and gets too much to handle.
Hi, my name is Kelsey and I’m a recovering cutter (9 years clean in March!) and current grad student, researching self-harm recovery. I would love to speak to you about your journey. Below is a 6-minute video explaining what I’m doing. If you’d like to get involved let me know. There are anonymous options. Stay safe!! ua-cam.com/video/hxmtzuH9Zdg/v-deo.html
I'm suffering from self-harming and I think of it like it's better to be hurt physically than mentally. Harming my self is my way of extracting the mental pain to physical pain, thus I feel better in my head. I don't think people should be affraid of admitting that they are suffering from self-harming because every scar on your body tells a story about you and what you've been through. No one but you know what the scar you did yesterday or today means to you. You are telling a story though your own body which is philosophical in a tragic but beautiful way. I don't encourage people to commit self-harming because it simply won't solve the problems you may have. It only works the moment you cut yourself. The next day you will feel sad for the exact same reason and just cut yourself again and it will continue as an evil circle. There's no easy way to get out of it but when you do, you can finally say "I'm happy".
DBT has helped me accept that emotions are not necessarily a bad thing that we need to get rid of but rather emotions can be very useful. I wished i was born without intense emotions, then I would never have to experience the hell of emotional dysregulation. But no matter how hard I wish, that will never happen. Distress tolerance and self soothe in particular have helped me replace self harm behaviors. I also like to write on my blog when I feel the urge, its me personal distraction technique.
I cut 20 years ago when I was struggling with a relationship and sexual orientation. My partner passed two years ago and I recently started doing it again after 20 years. This video was very informative. I'm trying to get help for this. I don't want to go backwards.
![Lp. Сердце Вселенной #60 РОЖДЕНИЕ ЛОЛОЛОШКИ [Финал] • Майнкрафт](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/YoR0pAV9FVQ/mqdefault.jpg)
I used to draw flowers on my arm instead of hurting myself. 9 months clean
I’m so proud of you, I really hope you’re feeling better. I’m also on the same road as you. 5 minutes clean. 💕
@@mietollan Aww keep going and thank you so much!
Unicorn Lover Thank you I really appreciate the support, and I wish you the best in life. Currently 12 days clean!
@@mietollan You're so sweet! Thank you so much
😬I just did it today
I would describe the feeling after self harming as what I imagine the relief smokers have when they smoke after a stressful situation. does that make sense
kpk4803 yes I understand so much
kpk4803 Me too!
Yes I know what you mean. Its like I can finally breath again and my head is clear.
Yes, i relate to this
Yes that makes perfect sense.
An easier way to explain it is say that it's blinding mental pain with physical pain. For a while you get out of your head and things seem real again.
That's what it's like for m anyway.
Punk Ass Moon I agree, I feel the same way.
Punk Ass Moon This!!! It's exactly how I felt about my cutting. It's like I was bringing myself back to the world by feeling the pain.
yupp. Same for me. You get relief from the constant mental pain due to the physical pain. Which is funny, as I suffer also from chronic pain (costochodritis) and it does the same. I rarely have both at the same time.
Yes and aside from needing to feel the control of me and the world I also think that part to be kinda like “made worse” due to others as it was to me like a ‘validation’ as to my pain since after I did that it wasn’t just “all in my head/ on me” type of thing and was like able to be like confirmed ?? (I dk if that makes sense but being mistreated I feel like I’m kinda dismissed with things))
The pain brings you back in the moment.
I had no idea the two disorders were related till I looked back when I was cutting and I did have eating disorders at the same time. ...I gave my razors to my therapist and made her promise if I asked for them back she would give them to me.After a ton of work on myself I forgot I even gave them to her .I haven't cut since and it's been almost 10 years.
ezfunshine wow
ezfunshine it’s been 2 years since this... how u doing
Good job I'm proud of you! I have been working on trying to stop cutting for almost a year now. 😔😌👍👍
I am so proud of you and I dont even know you
@ezfunshine Wow I cut with a razor to. I hope someday I can be like you and stop this harmful habit. Thank you , you inspired me and I know someday I'm gonna stop this . :)
I'm a little bit over 7 months clean from cutting.
Wow, congrats!!♡ I'm gonna tell my parents tomorrow and I'm so scared...
+Laura Martí how did it go?
+Sam Henders That's great!
+Laura Martí you can do this I have been clean for like 3 years now
Congratulation!!!!
A great coping skill I learned a long long time ago to offset or "substitute" the cutting was to hold ice cubes in each hand until they have fully melted. It doesn't give the exact same release, however it does help significantly. Focusing in on the feelings and then the numbness and cold works almost the same way, and has helped me many times!
YES! Same. Tho I hate dribbling, so I used the rubber band method. I've upgraded to the lotion method. I'm glad you're spreading healthier coping methods. I like to think of the rubber band and ice cube stuff as nicotine patches, while lotion and drawing (on the skin you want to wound) are better.
Alycia D My therapist told me that, but it just made it worse. I’d hold several and I just wanted to do the salt and ice challenge... then thoughts of actually bunting myself and I gave in and burnt a spot on my hand and I started cutting again after almost three years
@@ChristianPsychedelica I don't really like the ice cube method but it doesn't make me worse. It seems pointless for me. I am glad it helps some people though.
@@MegaKhelditia I’m not someone who has done self harm but that sounds similar to meditation. My unqualified suggestion is to try meditation. My recommendation is Doctor K’s meditation guide
kati needs a television show
truly
just to bring awareness
so many psychologists don't even seem to understand this as much as she does
Yes, this is what we need on TV, not another reality show.
I usually do it in connection with panic attacks. When I get panic attacks or very bad anxiety I tend to sh to "snap out" of it and to get bring myself back down again. I've been clean for almost a year now, it's been an intense battle, but I had some amazing friends who were really supportive
I was told that when you hurt yourself your brain tries to calm you down so that your blood isn't pumping that fast around your body (therefore you loose less blood) apparently this is why it makes you feel calm...knowing this actually helped me so much because then it encouraged me to find something else that calmed me and made me feel the same way... Not gonna lie it was a long process finding what worked for me! After so long of looking I found that playing or teaching my self keyboard is what did it for me.
Learning to do deep breathing helped me. But how does burning work when you don't lose blood?
@@Catlily5 - it’s the same feeling of relief as cutting.
@@terrijo33 It is.
Its like a release to me. Like I can finally BREATH and my head becomes clear and it lifts the fog. Its the best feeling after a ruff day and when I look at the cuts it looks beautiful to me. I usually do it on my hips so no one can see, but sometimes I slip up and do it on my arms which is harder to keep secret. Its kinda weird I want someone to know and help me but i dont want my family to know or the people I hold close to me. And after I do it sometimes the next day i feel sick at myself. I dont know its a crazy thing
Team Cynda I feel that way too. It snaps me out of my disassociation and anxiety. And as awful as it sounds after I’m done I see my cuts and scars as beautiful too.
I understand this a lot!
I asked about the blood beautification at the hospital. It's something everyone is supposed to intuitively understand when they see it. Many might not. Please, just never give up unus unus.
I feel this sooo much
I'm over a year clean from cutting but lately I have been triggered to cut and even tho I want to stay clean I also want to give in. Just if you believe in prayer please help me pray for my mental health so I can get better soon.
i feel the same way im trying to make it to a year.
Just did a prayer for you. No idea wether or not Gods real or listening but it was 100 percent worth the try. Hang in there. Love yourself.
I know this was posted 2 years ago and I’m not sure how you’re doing with your recovering, but I just want you to know that I’m praying for you.
Checking in on you! How have you been? Praying for you for sure!
Samantha W I’m a week shy of a year again and I fully believe this recovery will stick.
I actually have to disagree on a lot of this. To me it is about the pain and the blood. I cut to punish myself and to calm down my anxiety. If there's no blood I think "my god I'm so pathetic I can't even do it properly".. and I simply go a bit deeper. Cutting without seeing some blood just wouldn't do it for me. For example I cut myself in the stomach when I've been eating too much. So as I said - to me it's all about punishing myself.
I agree. I think to an extent it is about the blood, because the main thing that kind of calmed me down and distressed myself was seeing the blood rushing down. I guess what you said about not being good enough if you could even make your self bleed.
I know what you mean I used to do the same thing. Tbh, I stopped cutting only because it causes scars.. But I still stopped it doesn't really matter what the reason was, and let me tell you the truth, without cutting I feel a little better, I feel a little less.. lets call it "messed up". I still feel fucked up but I feel a relief. Also I hate the scars.. It reminds me of how weak I am but at the same time it makes me want to make more.. I know it doesn't really make sense, but it's worth to stop cutting, because cutting doesn't help and it doesn't do anything good, only bad. So please listen to me and don't cut yourself you're too beautiful for that.
i saw blood today when i cut myself for the first time.it wasnt very deep but just the tiny spec of blood gave me so much relief.
I sort of agree with you, but for me seeing the blood helps me calm down and the pain is something for me to focus on other than my emotional pain. Personally, it's not about punishing myself, it's about ACTUALLY feeling something
Yes same
I self harm but your videos are so helpful in fighting relapses. I got so triggered today because a couple of girls were pointing at my cuts in the locker room.
I am 40 and struggle soooooo much with this. Thank you for making this video. It is a hard thing to walk away from.
are you better now? I'm having a super hard time
Ever since I was 11 I have never gone more than 5 months & 1 day without self-harming, and I'm 20 now. On New Year's Day I'll have broken that record and I'm so excited to almost be completely free from this addiction. What made me stop is when I ended up in a psychiatric hospital, and I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, which made me realize why I felt the need to outlet the depression. I thought I wasn't allowed to feel depressed because that wasn't me, that was other people. So I took it out on myself so I only I would know. It has been some of the hardest recovery imaginable, but I am so excited to beat my personal best & hopefully help others with awareness and coping.
That's amazing! I'm so happy you're recovering so well :) a huge well done to you :)
I cut mostly impulsively. Something makes me so mad that I just resort to cutting myself.
Don't ever give up! If for no other reason than it extremely pisses the people who really want you to give up off.
Please be safe, Abbie Kane.
I used to hurt myself when I was mad. It was the only way I could be mad when I lived at home.
I'm the same but I don't really see any problem with it
people that joke about self harm are ignorant and insensitive. Every time you joke about it you never know who's around that's struggling with it. You could end up triggering them to hurt themselves. Also don't try self harming. Some people can try it and stop but for a lot of people it becomes an addiction. Self harm is a vicious cycle that's really hard to stop. Plus saying something like that is taking something that's really serious and turning it into a joke
Lizzy Mitchell i see your point but often people who joke about these things struggle with them 2 and joking about it is just a way for them to normalise it
But self harm could be good if you look at it in a different light like me I do it on impulse and the only reason I have that impulse is because I'm so useless that I couldn't get most emotions when I snapped. The reason I'm telling you this is because I want to and it seems like it would be an interesting conversation kek
It's becoming an addiction to me I'm at 28 cuts and I'm trying to stop for my boyfriend and my brother
Lizzy Mitchell well I joke about it but it’s how I cope
I understand why u mean though
Katie! I couldn't help but chuckle at "just scratching the surface"...that was funny! You're too cute :) Thanks so much for sharing on this. I work with a lot of youth who "cut" as a way to cope with various negative feelings/emotions. Again, I appreciate the breadth and depth of your videos! You rock...
I just can't help it. When I feel extremely down and numb, I'm just desperate to feel alive. And as the blade slides down, I feel a surge of warmth that evaporates the numbness. The feeling is sooo addictive. It is not comforting, but distracts me from the real discomfort. It feels like the lesser of two evils.
There is no point in getting rid of blades, since now I'm even used to cut with my own fingernails.
Omg same here. I do it so I can finally feel something Im a bit late 😔
I just hit my year a 4 month mark on the 11th!!!
+Mackenzie Colgan Clean, that is :)
5 years, soon??
I have found that journaling helps. It helped me sort out my thoughts and feelings so that I could think about what was going on more clearly.
Also, watching UA-cam videos by selfharmsupport and others like them have helped. Sometimes they are answering questions and I find it helpful to sometimes answer the questions too. It helps me think about things. :)
I had no idea my cutting and starving my self was related . I'm not glorify such behavior . I just want to thank you for explaining it to my family and friends !!!!
I listen to music. My Chemical Romance, Panic! At The Disco bands like that help me a lot.
I do too... Falling in reverse also helps me. But ill admit... Bring me the horizon sometimes triggers me..
I can see why. I'm glad you found something that helps though.
Thank you
You're welcome
Mackenzie Clark Mcr helps me tons
For me, it serves multiple purposes. It's about control, since I don't have control over any other part of my life. It also serves as a stress relief when the world is too overwhelming. It also helps me to release and bottle up my emotions, because letting them out would be too much to handle. My therapist and I go back and forth on this. I've seen your video about emotions coming in waves and that they will end, but I can't trust that. My despair and hopelessness is too deep and it never ends. So I have to keep my emotions under wraps for safety.
It's nice to see someone understand and get it for once! I suffer from BPD and enjoy watching your videos as I find them very informative. I have not cut in almost a year but still struggle with it every day!
U still alive?
I just found out today that my beautiful 15 yr old niece has been doing this. Thank you Katie! This was very helpful! Love to all of you out there struggling with this! ❤❤❤❤
I'd like to thank you so much. I showed my best friend this video, and the back of her hands and upper arms and wrists are just filled with scars, and after the video she said "Finally someone understands." she hasn't cut for four months and I am so proud of her. My outlet that helped me stop was rock music.
I practised self-harm when I was 12-13 because It was when I started suffering from depression and I didn't really feel anything but pain, so I was like "I'm going to cut because it's the only emotion I can cause myself to have." It also showed on the outside the pain I was feeling on the inside. When I started getting better, I instantly stopped cutting and It wasn't really an issue. I had a lot of friends whatsoever who suffered from depression and cut throughout their teens and they did have a whole lot of problem to stop self-harming. One of them used to write stuff on their wrists and arms with a red pen as a coping way to stop herself from cutting and It worked as far as I know.
I'm going on 3 weeks of no cutting. I have been struggling since I was 12. I'm now 25 so this is a big deal for me. I think if I didn't meet my therapist 6 months ago I wouldn't be where I am with it. she doesn't make me feel ashamed for it. it's nice to know that if you mess up its not the end of the world we just go to dust off and try again.
Especially since with substance abuse, it takes 3-5 times, on average, to fully quit. I figure it's similar for other addictions, like ED and SH. I'm 23 and have been dealing with this since I was 10, so I feel ya.
I'm simply grateful for my support network of friends and fam, else I might have actually relapsed, recently, when I had to wear a rubber band bracelet as a kind of nicotine patch. Better than keeping easy knives on me.
From reading all this comments, wow, I'm so proud of all you that stopped or are trying to stop.... Good job very one!!!!! I'm clean almost 3 years now... And are prode for the help you give Kati...
I am three years clean, tonight I almost broke that but this video helped me understand it and cope in a better way
I was hospitalized and when I was discharged, I started attending an awesome outpatient PHP program (partial hospitalization).This led me to get my cutting under control. I received a lot of support from this.
Thank you Kati for shining light on this serious problem. I look forward to watching more of your videos.
This is such an amazing explanation of cutting. You do such a good job. I've struggled with self harm for over 10 years. It's so nice to have a good explanation by a professional out there. Thanks so much!
self harm just gives me control over my emotional pain, it gives a release from feeling so numb
is it weird that even though i stopped self harming when im upset i like to rub my scars?
I find min can get itchy in hot weather or when I am not "aware" I am stressed or anxious.
Gauntlet to Life yea me too.
I often will just rub them whenever I start getting anxious, or when I worry or get upset. I understand
same, i do that to stim
thank you for your videos. I haven't cut in many years, I only wished I had gotten help sooner. I found that having a safer outlet for my anger really helpful. I always worried about showing anger so directed it at myself but there are lots of safer ways, art and excersise works for me. it gets better and scars heal.
Kati.. you understand. You actually understand. I've never heard someone that isn't/wasn't personally a self-harmer talk about this the way you do. You amaze me....
Self-harm is a living hell.... Oops yeah I said it
I've replaced cutting with other behaviours such as eating chilli peppers, taking a shower, exercising, being around pets an just even going for a walk. I'm also participating in the butterfly project :) yayrecovery!
After being clean for years now and very rarely thinking about it, watching this back brought back some emotions I didn't know I had been repressing. I didn't realise how much I needed to hear a professional understand it and explain how the shame of it can be so debilitating. So thank you Kati for helping me now, years down the line after pulling myself out of it, understand even better what I was going through.
I always had a hard time figuring out why I cut. The best I’ve come up with is that it’s an externalizations of the emotional pain I feel inside that I can’t express. Kind of like, “look, I’m hurting, help.” And it’s true, it doesn’t hurt physically when I’m in that space.
My therapist introduced me to something called vent art. Not necessarily Gore art or sad art, but the creation of abstract colouring and intricate design. This helped me stop self harming and became a really good distraction that not only made me feel good about my creation but I'd give my art pieces to people who I cared for. Making me feel better times 100!
I love how you say that we are seeking a neutral state through cutting. this is SO TRUE! either I want to numb the anger or sadness or I wanna feel myself again. I want to get back to a normal state, I want this release fron feelings that are too overwhelming. And NO, it doesnt hurt. the state you are in BEFORE cutting hurts more. the only thing that really helped me is running away. get out of the situation and do sth else! get distracted! do sth ACTIVE cause it will calm u down or bring u back
I've been clean for a year now. It's a daily struggle.
Peter Beck Yea I know the feeling. It's been almost 2 years with me. Everyday it's hard, especially when you work with a blade and your work stresses you out, especially with costumers. :/
Paige Arnol Keep strong, my friend. Much love
Double Butthole I've been clean for 3 months
i hear that its a day to day battle!
Congratulations
i've been self harming for 5 years and having an eating disorder for about 3 and honestly this is the first time that i've ever actually heard someone talk about it like how i understand it. and it makes me feel like i'm not alone by this. i'm just tearing up and this video is so beautiful and thank you
The comment that says cutting is what they imagine a smoker feels like after they smoke after a stressful situation, is sooooooooo accurate. Its the best analogy ive heard yet by far. Its a coping mechanism.... Albeit a VERY UNHEALTHY one, it is a coping strategy. Its like some people scream when they get to a point where things melt down, some people go for a walk, some listen to music, those of us with unhealthy, or those of us who havent learned healthy ways... We cut. I thank you for taking a serious look at the topic, and not immidiately diving into "attention seeking"....
I have struggled with self harm for a almost a year now.
After watching this she makes me feel so calm.
I have never thought of it as a comfort to me. I am 46 and so ashamed. It hit me when you said it comforts me. It does. How sad.
Girl u r amazing thank u for making these videos and spreading awareness/help :)
You have been a lot of help..I suffer from self harm and I don't know how to stop...I wish more than anything I could stop
I’m a college student and my mental health has been declining for the past year. I have been using self harm as an outlet to unleash my frustration towards school more this semester than any other semester. My doctor found out about it and she told my therapist. I ended up dropping my classes this semester because I was getting to the point where I was failing my classes despite the hard work I put in and eventually stopped doing the work required to pass my classes. My doctor and therapist recommended me to drop my classes. My doctor even wrote a letter and sent it to the dean at my school explaining why I needed to drop classes. Right now, I have a job in my college town working about 20 hours a week and I am still able to play my instruments in my university wind ensemble and pep band. I’m so happy with life right now. I haven’t cut myself in 2 weeks!
That is so amazing! Never feel bad for not doing what "should be done" just do whatever is best for you and makes you happy, I'm so glad to hear someone fight through it and make the change to get better because you will get better and one day you'll forget about it ❤
Incredibly proud of you!
You inspired me to go to a therapist. I've told about my cutting and suicidal thoughts. I got my antidepressants today. I'm on my way to recovery. Thank you so much. And I'd like to tell everybody that's it is okay to ask for help. There are so many nice people out there who want to help you out, even if you don't see a way out yourself. I know how hard it is to take the first step, but please let others help you.
I've just watched this video and i feel somewhat understood... I have a best friend who has a history of self-harm and i never like understood why she would do it, It's painful and discomforting but today here im feeling urges of self-harm. I just got in an argument with my friend yesterday and to say the least i feel overwhelmed and i feel more like a bad friend and a part of me is telling that im not and a part of me is telling that i am... i really just dont want to think about but at the same time i dont want to harm myself, Im aware of self-harm and have somewhat of a good understanding in the topic but there are times where i feel like i will harm myself one day... and i dont want to imagine it or do it but I feel like i will. videos like these calm my mind but i dont feel comfortable enough to talk about this with anyone irl... I feel like i will be judged incorrectly so, ii have to figure this out on my own... but thank you for this video
Hi kati I wanted to tell you I've gone a week without cutting..... Yeah I'm finding my councilor abit stuffy now but I have support from wonderfull people here. Thank you and thank you to those who help me. Love to you. Xxx
One way I'd describe my cutting was to actually transfer the mental & psychological pain (that was caused by a number of different reasons, guilt included) to a physical pain - much easier to control and to deal with. The pain was comforting, but seeing the wounds heal was even more. If my boyfriend didn't accidentaly saw my cuts (I was ashamed of telling anyone, even my therapist) I don't know if I would've stopped. Having someone who loves & supports you know about it really does help :) x
Something that actuslly helped me is a notebook where I write every beautiful thing people have said to me, it helps
what a lovely thing to do
I had no idea other people were so much like me. Everything you said in this video was exactly my life. Thank you so much for what you do.
Thank you for your great videos i am just begining recovery after almost 19 years of SH i never thought helping others would be the way that i would start my recovery but it has i work with youth and seeing them doing the things i have been dealing with for years has made me want to get help so i can better help them help is not easy to find but worth trying :)
I also have noticed that when I "control" one of my problems another one flares up be it my ED, cutting, OCD, and sometimes even my ADHD.
Thats fine, I wish everyone a full recovery! And I hope anyone that is in trouble with cutting to get help before he gets worse!
Thanks kat ❤
What's been really hard for me to come to terms with is that it's so addicting. I've been clean for a while now, but the temptation never seems to go away...and it really is how you say it is, it has a lot of parallels with binges. It just puts a stop to this really big negative emotion I have no idea how to deal with. And it gives you some sort of a high too. Stay strong everybody.
For me as I went longer and longer without hurting myself the cravings lessened. Now I get them only when I am having a lot of mental health problems.
I am not completely over it and I don't have a therapist, but one thing that helps a person in recovery is figuring out what your triggers are. Once you figure those out you will be able to learn how to deal with those, avoid those, or "control" those.
:) Thanks. It feels really comforting to not be weird you know?
And it's really kind that you take the time out of your day to reply to all the comments you get. It means a lot to me, and I'm sure it means a lot to the others as well.
I self harm due to unwanted thoughts/extreme emotional overload, like an intense shock going off in in my head. The self harm gives me a relief even momentarily.
I only felt this way three years when I was blamed wrongly but now my self harm has got worst in the last year. I am trying to control that extreme emotional/depressive moment. I wish to stop self harming, I do. If you see me in my personal/work life, you wouldn’t even know. I hide it well, for the meanwhile anyhow
Hey kati THANK YOU!!!!! I am a very happy bunny right now I have added it to my joural under a heading Some good news and said Kati added MY poem to her website!!!!!! that has made my day I love it and thanks for replying to all my messages THANKS Jess xx
I cut myself because the scares are an outward representation of the pain I have felt inside me for so long. My pin was invisible and all I wanted was validation that it’s not in my head that I’m really suffering. I don’t recommend cutting because honestly it hurts and adds more pain, but at the same time I can’t stop because I need it, because I was the scares to match how I feel inside. I don’t do it for validation from others all I really wanted for validation from myself to prove to myself I’m in so much pain.
Thank u, im glad that your tryin to tackle a much needed issue among us today. I self harmed for jst over 8 years which caused extensive scarrin on my whole body S/H was abit different for me thou as most of the time it was about causing pain, pain that i could control, how much it hurt n where. Calmin the pain in my head that i couldn't understand with one i could heal n look after. If i could see the pain i felt better. Its been 2 years almost since i last cut but the scars will never fade.
i'm not promoting it at all, but i actually do it for the pain and blood
also, that pun, i laughed so much at that, it helps. as someone going through it, it helps
Laughter is quite the catharsis.
And kinda same? The pain was what I wanted, but the blood made me feel better, especially if the mark lasted.
Lotion is a better thing to do to your skin.
Still don’t do it it’s never okay
Yes is actually the pain that it gives (for me)
I didnt used to, but I also do it partially for that now
I know this video is a little old... but there is now a DSM-5 diagnosis for self injury! Non-Suicidal Self Injury. :) yay a classification! just for others who are only seeing this video now, like myself... here is what the DSM-5, the latest update to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, says...
"According to DSM-5, NSSI diagnostic criteria are as follows (American Psychiatric Association, 2013):
Over the past year, the person has for at least 5 days engaged in
self-injury, with the anticipation that the injury will result in some
bodily harm. No suicidal intent.
The act is not socially acceptable.The act or its consequence can cause significant distress to the individual’s daily life.The act is not taking place during psychotic episodes,
delirium, substance intoxication, or substance withdrawal. It also
cannot be explained by another medical condition.The individual engages in self-injury expecting toGet relief from a negative emotionTo deal with a personal issueTo create a positive feeling
The self-injury is associated with one of the following:
The individual experienced negative feelings right before committing the act.Right before self-injury, the individual was preoccupied with the planned actThe individual thinks a lot about self-injury even if act does not take place."
Thank you for sharing this!
Thank you, I am trying to understand
The two things that I found help the most are art and exercise. I take pictures all the time and it really helps me destress and express myself. I also started running and biking everyday. It gets me out of the house, it makes me feel more self confident, & it gives a similar endorphin type release that cutting does. Also what I've learned is don't beat yourself up over one relapse! Don't feel defeated; it doesn't mean you're back at square one in your recovery. Good luck everyone
I used to cut as a teenager. Now after 20 years I started again. It's so hard to get over because, unfortunately, it works. I'm struggling, but I know I can make it.
hi, kati! i hope you're doing well. i want to thank you so much for what you're doing & posting videos such as this. as a fifteen year old, it's so wonderful to have someone speaking out about issues like self harm that's so overlooked & ridiculed by my peers. it's so nice to see that i'm not alone, & someone understands why i've struggled with this even when sometimes i don't. i'd love to talk to you through email, or message, or whatever is best for you.
you are so inspiring.
much love!! x
Thank you for making this video. I didn't get new information but I felt much better after seeing the video because somebody knows that this is a problem that should be treated
The neuroscience behind self-harm is very illuminating.
Totally hit the nail on the head.
Self harm suck, I watch this video so much... I was 8 when I stated... I’m now 16, and I still regularly self harm... I can’t make it stop. I have kind of given in now and accepted that this is how I will be forever.... also love you katiiiiiii😘😘
to help me I got scared to talk out loud so I talked to my teachers explaining I don't have confidence in me and they helped me so much I don't do talks or presentations really.
I found that my friend helped me through a lot saying like they know what I m going through and everything that they said made me feel better.
I wear bandages on my arms to school to hide scars but no one suspects a thing I'm slowly recovering now :)
Niamh Downie I'm glad you're recovering from it. :) With the help of my friend and my family I was able to seek help for SH and my eating disorder and am now slowly (very slowly) recovering from it. I wish you good luck on your journey to a better, healthier life. :)
Always tell a friend... I was cutting for 2 years and I'm 15. But I told a trusted friends a couple months ago and you feel so much better knowing you have someone to talk to. It takes a lot to tell them but once you do it you'll thank yourself later and remember you're beautiful☺️
i am almost 8 months clean and tbh its really hard cause every time something bad happens I find myself thinking that maybe now its the time to relapse and nobody will know.. I just want this nightmare to end but U don't know how to end it cause I'm not allowed to see a therapist and shit. I'm just really damn happy with being 8 months clean.
I can completely see the parallels between the two! I, being someone who has an eating disorder, and my ex partner who has deals with cutting. Even though we are not together anymore we both made leaps and bounds in improving our mental health by sharing our stories. Making the correlation between the two and how they both stem from the same type of patterns and behaviors. Sounds corny, but sharing really is caring. And getting up the courage to truly express the distress we can be in was incredibly beautiful and healing. It’s so hard and there is still lots of work to do. But taking those first steps. Realizing that the actual “behaviors” we engaged in were different but the root was very much one we had in common. IF you have someone you can trust and confide in, find a SAFE SPACE where you don’t have to worry about feeling judged or threatened. And share. And let them love on you. Let them care. There is no shame in NEEDING the support and attention that is vital to getting better. So much love for everyone out who is in the trenches with us fighting each day!
Thank you for this great video and explaining it so well. I think this will help explain it to people who don't understand it. Thank you!
For me it's a relief. The times I did it, and it was at least five times, it was because I was with a different sadness. A desperate sadness, I just wanted to get it out of me, and at the same time there was a feeling that I deserved to suffer. The pain seemed a deserved punishment to myself.
The strange thing is that this becomes an addiction. I need to try hard not to do this every time I have this feeling. Because I do not want to be scarred. I'm very ashamed of my scars, I have several on my arm and five times that on my upper legs. I do not feel good when I see these scars, they seem like a constant reminder of a failure. And it's hard work hiding this from people, it's always too much of a concern.
I still have a razor in my wallet that I carry everywhere, although I do not use it for several months or even want to use it, there is a certain sense of security to know that it is there. Is weird.
Kati I loved your 'Therapist dirty little secret'. Also your explanations are on message & are simply stated. Too many therapist are jargonistic & don't deal with BPD well, and inadvertently add to the BPD feeling of inadequacy/abandonment. Therefore they become part of the problem. Unfortunately those with BPD come away thinking 'well if the therapist is unable to help me, then I am beyond help'. I am a DBT therapist. My message is 'find the right therapist'. If the one you see doesn't help, it isn't your fault.
i just want to relieve everything and make it go away and doing that gives me the brief feeling that the world stops and like when i do i feel as though i deserve it and it’s a punishment
This is very good content. I never understood why people whould harm themselves. Now I'm one of these peoples and I understand. I would have never thought I would someday belong to "those" people and I'm certainly not happy about that but anyways I believe I can fight it. 4 Days clean! Thanks Kati for helping me and others. Because one can only fight a problem if one understands it.
I do it as a feeling of being in control and most recently a feeling of punishment. When I do it I feel myself inflicting pain rather than when others or the thing that sets me off does it. I gives me a feeling of “this is just me, I’m doing this, I control where this goes” and it feels good. More recently I have thoughts of “cut later, you deserve it” (not in a good way, more of my mind using it negatively) but either way when I do it I just gain a sense of control.
Love this video :) My way of harming is deemed by so many people as 'not serious' and just leave me to it cause they don't see it as a big issue, hopefully people like that will see videos like this and realise they need to sit up and pay attention :)
for me it was all about the pain, it was the only thing left that made me feel alive.
This video made me cry, after three years of cutting and other forms of self harm before that someone FINALLY gets it.
For me, it is kind of about the pain, and the blood. The pain gives me an instant emotion that is easily recognizable, when I am in a state of mind that I cannot decipher what I am feeling. I like your video :)
My husband is a medic in the army. Since my SH is likned to my PTSD and he is trained to deal with that, he has been able to help me alot. I'm not fully over it, I still relapse and experience flashbacks, but it's much less severe or less often than it was; now that I've been able to work through some of those traumatic and blocked memories.
The emotional relief first, and then, the warm, relaxing feeling as the body heals the cuts.
Distractions(running, cleaning, writing) are so helpful!! Haven't hurt in 2 years. :)
reading really helps me when i feel the need to self harm. Im still in recovery and finding a good book really helps, i suffer from anorexia b/p type as well and reading a book or article about how someone has recovered from self injury and eating disorders inspires me and helps me alot. Finnding another social medium helped, i vent about my struggles on twitter and youtube too, i write/film about everything that goes through my head and it gets rid of it and doesn't let it build :)
For me it was extremely hard to find out what was the core of my self harm behaviour... I always thought I'd do it because I hate myself and want to punish myself for things I've done or for the way I am, but that's just a part of it. Most of the time I do it to take control and to numb the feelings that I'm feeling when they just get too overwhelming. That can be any feeling from fear, shame, sadness, hate, anger, guilt or even extreme happiness when it just overwhelms me and gets too much to handle.
Hi, my name is Kelsey and I’m a recovering cutter (9 years clean in March!) and current grad student, researching self-harm recovery. I would love to speak to you about your journey. Below is a 6-minute video explaining what I’m doing. If you’d like to get involved let me know. There are anonymous options. Stay safe!! ua-cam.com/video/hxmtzuH9Zdg/v-deo.html
I'm suffering from self-harming and I think of it like it's better to be hurt physically than mentally. Harming my self is my way of extracting the mental pain to physical pain, thus I feel better in my head. I don't think people should be affraid of admitting that they are suffering from self-harming because every scar on your body tells a story about you and what you've been through. No one but you know what the scar you did yesterday or today means to you. You are telling a story though your own body which is
philosophical in a tragic but beautiful way. I don't encourage people to commit self-harming because it simply won't solve the problems you may have. It only works the moment you cut yourself. The next day you will feel sad for the exact same reason and just cut yourself again and it will continue as an evil circle. There's no easy way to get out of it but when you do, you can finally say "I'm happy".
DBT has helped me accept that emotions are not necessarily a bad thing that we need to get rid of but rather emotions can be very useful. I wished i was born without intense emotions, then I would never have to experience the hell of emotional dysregulation. But no matter how hard I wish, that will never happen. Distress tolerance and self soothe in particular have helped me replace self harm behaviors. I also like to write on my blog when I feel the urge, its me personal distraction technique.
I cut 20 years ago when I was struggling with a relationship and sexual orientation. My partner passed two years ago and I recently started doing it again after 20 years. This video was very informative. I'm trying to get help for this. I don't want to go backwards.