I cut to release negative emotions. I don’t enjoy the pain and I don’t even really feel it. But the seconds afterwards feels calm and quiet. It’s like whatever the trigger was is gone.
I feel the trigger always goes when the red flows. It's a twisted place to be, and very hard to fight at times. It's the need to feel punished, like It's merited. We are hardest on ourselves...
@@GetYaWhat thats good i want to help you so what do you do now then when your upset i drink herbal and listen to recordings of me talking to my thrapeist
@@opinions7165 can't expect the world to baby you. My advice is toughen up and get emotionally strong. Its terribly harsh out there. The more you act like a tumblr special snowflake, the more of a target you wear. I feel bad for you if you can't even handle one word. Toughen up
i do. I was abused mentally very badly as a kid. Still am but not as bad my moms trying to get better. I’m always the kid who can’t communicate well bc of the abuse and being homeschooled/mostly alone until 8th grade and I don’t feel like my friends actually like me
I used to self harm because my life was changing so much and I wanted to feel in control of something. Self harming was really the only thing I could control.
you can be in control by speaking your mind pls dont harm yourself i cant bear the thought of women being in paim and men having it easy this doesnt happen to men
I self harm sometimes to punish myself or to change the feeling, but i mostly self harm to punish myself. My self harm is not always cutting. I think about not being here anymore, but i do have two wonderful and beautiful cats that i love and adore so very much! They have been my only real means of moral support with their unconditional love. Many people who don't have pets don't understand. They are the only reason why i am still here. If it weren't for them i could not keep living through this pain day in and day out. Late at night and when i get up are mainly the worst times for me. I suffer from insomnia not to mention major depression and high anxiety. I have been through alot in my life growing up and as an adult, and have recently been through more traumatic experiences and big life changes. I get very stressed and overwhelmed very easily. I don't really have anyone I can turn to that I feel I can trust. I attend therapy but I don't even fully trust my therapist and doctor. Sometimes life really does suck! Thank you Katie for your videos and what you do. You are truly a blessing in this world.
I guess I’ve never been really close with either of my parents, and I don’t really talk to anyone about self harm and it’s really hard to trust people. The only place I feel like I can open up is online, behind a character that isn’t me, so no one knows it’s me
It's definitely hard to open up about. I've joined a self harm suport group on Facebook that has been really helpful to me, it's called "battle scars survivor led self harm support group" if you want to check it out. People of all ages both guys and girls are in the group and offer support for any kind of self harm. It is easier to open up about it to others who understand.
Personally, I've only told two people, and it wasnt really me reaching out, but rather because I was "cornered" into telling them, otherwise I would probably have just lied like with everybody. those two I told would be the only people I could genuinely told and that would be the closest to understand, one of them actually told me he does it too.
There needs to be more people like you. Too many people just think that sending people who self -harm to the hospital will make it all better, but we need someone like you who actually tries to understand.
I'm clean for 2 years now. It's hard to believe, but it's true. It made me feel better. I stopped when I recovered from my depression, and realised there was from little to none triggers anymore. I urged myself to come clean completely. I'm so glad I did.
I was trying to explain to my mum self harm so she could understand it more so I UA-cam self harm and play this video and she's even more upset because she thinks it's her fault, pre warning to anyone not a good vid to show ur parents.
My mum is a wytch, she's accepting, supporting and all the rest. I actually did it because I heard about it online. I have autism, so I didn't know how to express myself then. I only started with a butter knife, but then I switched to biting and sharpener blades. I was too afraid of pain so I pushed myself a lot. I'm so happy I stopped when I did, but I still have horrible scars on my thighs and the undersides of my arms.
@@kkounal974 good parents don't want to mess their children up but make mistakes, parents with their own deep problems don't realize when they are messing their kids up, and then there are the crappy parents who enjoy messing their kids up. Yes they exist! And their are a lot of them around in the world. For whatever reason, sadly some people get off on treating their families like crap.
The beginning of this video hit hard. I never really had anyone to talk to when I became depressed or anxious. My dad would ignore me/mutter "shut up" under his breath, and my mom would tell me "wait til you're older and you have real problems." well, I am older, and still having the same problems I did 10 years ago. And I still have no one to talk to. (I'm a year clean btw so hopefully things will get better).
I have been clean for like 3 years now. I had to heal from the pain that triggered my addiction to cut. once you find out why and heal from that then it gets easier
I have an happy and caring family, i am 15 years old, but still.. i have really bad depression and have been cutting myself and no one knows about it... everyone thinks I'm happy/normal from the outside... cuz I've been faking happiness for 4 looong years.. why do i even have these tendencies?
The way I explain it to people for me is the feeling you get when you’re so frustrated and angry and just want to punch something. That’s what self harm is for me. It’s a way for me to release that frustration, anger, and sadness.
I always understood that i was releasing or expressing through self harm, but when you talked about how the past effects you and its just overwhelming to think that and how true it is in my case. My younger sister and brother lash out, I try to be "perfect" and when its pushed aside i feel the urge to selfharm. I haven't in months mainly because i cant hide it anymore cause i have no personal space, so i just feel like im becoming trapped. i have a few great friends but i could never tell them this, cause they already make fun of self harmers and my mother has had a very hard childhood so anything in comparison is childish and weak of me....its just difficult.
I'm having that trapped feeling too. I have to wear short sleeves / shorts at least 4 times a week (2 times for my job where I have to get my arms in water and it's weird wear deep sleeves in water and they might ask questions which trigger my already terrible anxiety and 2 times for swimming) They would immediently find out if I cut myself, because I don't have any more space on my thighs. :(
The reason why I do it is because the less I care for myself, The less I care for anybody else. Because anybody that I have met said they we're there for me, Even my family. But the next second I get called a freak.
This video really hit the nail on the head for me. When I started self harming, it was because I felt that I had nobody to confide in and I felt no one would empathize with the intense feelings I had about the world around me. I’m a high functioning autistic and struggled to connect with others, and I’m still learning that it’s okay to be human. You may not draw everyone by being yourself, but you will draw the ones who matter!
Maya Cassidy Familiarity and I understand personally that when things get blurry in your mind you can't think but you and it's a way for the brain to stop you from panicking. And it's likely you have self worth issues I do too. And I hate when people tell me to love myself because like Jaiden animations said " Just because you mnow you're colorblind doesn't mean you can see the colors ".
I self harm and you made me see a whole new side to self harm I never even thought about, and it really makes sense. Thank you so much for posting this video x
I'm just an outsider looking into this world because it's peaked my interest on why people do this. I've known many friends who have self harmed and I was stumped on just why. However, this has been very informative.
Your video and tips on distraction got me to pick up my journal again and work in it. Instead of hurting myself, I'm helping it and its feeling so much better. Thank you so so much Katy.
I really did, especially as i'm 23 and self harm and have an eating disorder..match your example completely. I've found now I'm fighting those impulses my mind is much clearer and I can now start to make some real progress..been a month free so far. I asked my therapist for more sessions but she's on holiday now..another month gap. A month gap for second time in a row feels like a lifetime..glad I have your videos!
Self harm is like a coping mechanism. But not a good one. Also I had a friend who didn’t know, and she just said “YOU ARENT DEPRESSED STOP ACTING LIKE YOU ARE.”
Once she said say someone who's 23 comes into my office and they self harm and have an eating disorder, I lost it. That's exactly me. I just want to get better. How did it turn out like this?
I haven't physically harmed myself in nearly 20 years, but I saw this video pop up after watching some other videos. It always released my rage and let me feel calm. Thank you for this video that helped me understand why I did this.
I really struggle with self-harm for nearly 5 years now. And I didn't really understand why or where it did come from. Watching this video changed a lot. I'm in recovery right now, so it was easier to watch and really get the information out of it. But I have a really toxic mom and my dad was working a lot, my sister had her own problems. So I was left alone a lot when I was sad as I kid. The only thing comforting my where my stuffed animals. When you talk about attachment and how this is one of the things a selfharmer has probably experienced in live, it really opened my eyes. Now I can understand myself better. Thank you!!
You explained exactly why I SH, ive never fully been able to explain why I SH or how I feel but you hit it right on the nose. Ive struggled with SH for over 10yrs & have been abke to stop for a long period of time but I start up again I was so close to 4yrs without SH but I broke tgat the end of may. Watching ur videos has helped me understand myself and actions a bit better I watched the BPD video and researched it online and im more then positive thats what causes me to be so messed up.
I did it as a child and 30 years later, I did it again, which was recently, so Im watching this and its mind blowing how accurate it is. I want to stop and I'm looking for ways on how to condition myself and when I conquer that, I would love to help others get through it. Thank you Kati
watched this and cried! it was like you were in my mind, i got my appointment for a session with an ED speciallist and have group therapy once a week for my self harm, i'm 20 i've had these problems for 7 years...it's time to take my life back and be healthy again
Honestly it’s just when there’s a build up of large and intense emotions, and when I self harm (which is very rare now, maybe once or twice a year, getting a lot better), I feel much more calm afterwards.
I read whole bunch of self harm articles but none has stated the main cause of self-harm is lack of attachment. The moment u mentioned it, i cried so hard. Thank you for making such a helpful video.
Kati, in your video. You keep asking does this make sense? Yes. This video was great. Also giving more of a voice to those of us who selh-harm. Thank you!
i self-harm and this was very helpful! i never through about it but when i was young i had no one if i cried out life was like "shut up"! now I'm surround by people that care and i know they care but deep in side i don't trust or believe it! even if some one hugs me my first thought is that they did it to shut me up so they can get on with their day because im just in the way! i have know this but never realize it came from my past it makes so much more sense now!
Sorry just looking at the comments and you are amazing at replying! Keep up the good work! God only knows we need people like you in the world! thanks.
This video explained a lot to me. Recently, I was doing research for a presentation for class regarding self harm and I found out that I have been doing this in many different forms since I was a younger. My mom told me that we I was born it was at a time of great stress and she acknowledges that I didn't get the attention I needed. It seems to make perfect sense now, but when growing up it felt like there was this endless pit of misery and pain that took me to the brink of suicide. She talks about distractions, but I feel like the thing that helped me out the most was mediation. I picked up the book "The Power of Now" and literally saved my life.
This was the first video of yours I ever saw, about 5 years ago, a few days after I self-harmed for the first time. I barely understood why I did it and wanted to know the meaning behind it that I didn't get, and this helped me a lot. I became a subscriber in late 2013 and have been here ever since. Your videos helped me a lot, Kati, and I think they were one of the reasons my self-harming only took place for 10 months, and one of the ways I survived high school; I was a freshman in 2013-14. Thank you so much for continuing to take time and effort to make all of these videos. Even as I get older and start college, I'll still continue to watch these. Keep up the amazing work!
You are so great!! All of your UA-cams have helped me more than I ever thought. I am 50 and male. So much I have learned about myself and why I do things is from this channel. I do not have a therapist, I will get one now because of you. My confused life needs help. I am on depression medication but now I know I need therapy too. Thank you!!
I don't know if this video came up just at the right time, or I was just in the right mood to watch it, but it helped me so much. I cried when you said it was due to lack of someone to talk to. I had never realized that's exactly how I feel. I looked for this video because I started cutting in my late 20s -so I'm not the typical self-harmer who started in their teens- and I wanted to understand why I do it, why I feel like I need to do it. Thank you for your video; it was brief, easy to understand, engaging, eloquent, and helpful.
as someone that has struggled with this issue for decades , i wanna ty for your video !!! i just stumbled on to your channel by chance , and found myself crying while watching this video ... you described my childhood feelings with scary accuracy ... Finally someone that understands ,.. you have helped me to understand myself a little better , ty for that !!! this was very cathartic for me ... really looking forward to seeing more of you video's ..
Thanks again for this video. My self harm was a desperate attempt to cope with and communicate to others the suffering I was feeling inside. Why do people think its attention seeking? When I went to the ER I got such horrible treatment from the nurses, maybe they thought I was wasting their time, but my pain was as strong as if I had lost a limb. I think their should be mental health ERs, with DBT therapists, Suicide intervention plans, social workers, addiction counselors ect...
Thank you for addressing this issue. I have been dealing with SH for about 3 years, and I live where I can't get much help. It is also really hard to find good information on the internet. Thank you again.
What has been helpful for me with self-harm and (in certain cases) with b/p is doing something or going somewhere that is incompatible with said behaviour. I would go to coffee shops and bring a book or my laptop and just be there so I wouldn't be vulnerable to engage in the behaviour. Going to the park with your ipod and noticing the grass in the breeze, taking photos... painting your nails.. etc.
There can be comfort in the fact that you’re not alone, that you’re not the only person out there citing, but feeling that sense of belonging in the comment section sure as f*ck better not be a reason you think you should keep doing it. Let this realization why you may do it be the catalyst to the beginning of something amazing. Whoever reads this, you are loved, and when all these feelings feel like too much, or any other trigger to self harm, use it to create, not destroy. “See a need, fill a need”. When you are feeling down, find someone down, and help lift them up. You’d be surprised at how many of life’s questions get answered when you help others.
I'm one of those people who feels alone and isolated and feels like I have no one to talk to. I've recently started going to therapy because my best friend gave me an ultimatum, but also because I wanted to feel good about myself for once. He doesn't understand the fact that I self harm, but this video makes sense, at least for me, because I guess I didn't receive that love as a child. Please make more of these videos!!!
Thank you so much Kati. This is extremely correct and when you asked who do I confide in, it dawned on me where the root of my harming stems from. I relapsed about 3-4 months ago. Before then years had gone by. I'm not a habitual harmer, but when things have built up too much and overwhelm me along with the fucked things called life, I harm. I have used this as a coping mechanism since probably 18 years old, I'm 27 now. I distract myself every single day, and try to utilize free psychology because who can afford this really..but in the end, I'm dealing with this on my own and have been for almost 10 years. Its really crazy when you really try to convince yourself that this a normal way to cope with fucked up shit happening in your life.
Thank you so much. I'm really touched. I feel like screaming it from the rooftops, really chuffed :) I tend to have a better week after seeing my therapist (this week) and then I get a big dip . I find the long breaks really tough, I can't express how encouraging it is to know I can message you , thank you xxx
I heard some people with bipolar, depression, borderline personality disorder, schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder self harm. They hear voices telling them to self harm or they have racing thoughts that lead the person to self harm, or it is a way dealing with a persons feelings. That is what I have read from various books about people who self harm.
Samuel Barringer From my research some people do it to feel in control, they're many reasons. The reason varies from person to person. I usually get the urge to do it when I'm overwhelmed by bad emotions.
You touched a lot of important aspects that lead to this kind of behaviour, but, as much as I strive to find an awnser to what could justify my actions, I can't help but feel that there really isn't any objective one, my advice is if you have any kind of impulse to hurt yourself, do not follow it, because you may think you are aware of the consequences, but you never fully are unless you actually do it, and believe me, the pain that comes from the act itself is the one that hurts the least.
I don't have a recovery journal per say but I do have a journal. I journal all the time. I know what work that needs to be done, I know what I need to work on in order to actually recover from everything but its that fear. I have been hurt by the ppl who are suppose to love me the most so its hard to trust anyone and open up really and be completely honest w/out feel disgusting, gross, dirty etc etc. Which is why I cut. to feel physical pain instead of the emotional pain. Its that quick release
I do it so I don't have to feel my emotional pain. Instead, I make myself feel physical pain to take my mind off of the emotions. I have lots of people around me I love and I trust them and talk to them about everything, I even do that with my therapist. I've only had my first therapy session, suited for self harm. And I can't wait to hopefully get better and stop.
Omg Kati I need you !!!! You are seriously amazing and you would really understand I was adopted from Romania when I was 2 and it's just me and my mom she adopted me as a single parent and she told me that I didn't get the love and nutrition I needed. I hate being adopted I just want to be normal as for everyone else I hope you are recovering I love you all and I hope to get in touch with you soon . Thanks
Im 14, and I think the reason is that I’m just so stressed, unhappy and insecure and when I self harm, I can’t even explain it, I just feel better. It’s like I’m not focusing on everything that’s stressing me out, but I’m not positive that’s why.
actually when you get the trigger to harm yourself nothings helps. these suggestions are based on the hypothesis, I am a victim of self-harm and at the age of 35 with a loving family, I couldn't get over it!!! physical pain is less agonizing than the mental one.
That is not real. You're just inducing yourself the idea that you are unable to stop just because it has been going on for 9 years. Nine years is not an infinity. Treat yourself right. Also, people out there are talking how they can't get things done due to all the distractions and you say you can't distract yourself? well you gotta be a real damn focused person. Why don't you actually focus and find a distraction? Cause 9 years is not a valid excuse. Maybe finding a distraction can be a distraction. You can do better. Giving up becomes boring.
@@anasuciu2667 Thank you for the advice. Anyway I don't know why I feel sorry for what I said.. I try to distract myself from negative thoughts but sometimes I fall into this and sometimes I'm not sad and idk why but I feel the need Once again thank you so much, I appreciate it.
@@iordanka22 You shouldn't feel sorry for anything you have ever said because that is a piece that just contributes to you achieving your real true self. So, keep working hard for that piece of art. I like o believe that trough blood and tears we let out the things that we can't express trough words. So, honeslty, the simple fact that you were able to put your feelings into words and to share them is a real act of bravery, so you get a point for that one. See? You're better than you thought. Healing is just around the corner. You just gotta be tough and make a few more steps until you get there. Make yourself proud. Also, something that worked for me, do not think of all the reasons that you have to cut. Think of the reasons to not do it. Literally, you will find more reasons to not do it. Keep them in mind and think of them everytime you get your hands on a blade. You got the key.
I don't harm my self like cutting or burning I just distract my self with something else like dancing until I lose all my energy or I go to place that I can be alone and scream.
I cut to release negative emotions. I don’t enjoy the pain and I don’t even really feel it. But the seconds afterwards feels calm and quiet. It’s like whatever the trigger was is gone.
Its literally my go to when something happens to me that I have no control over. It's literally always in the back of my head.
True...it calms down the turmoil inside and clears the clouded mind
I absolutely identify @sarapeterson
I feel the trigger always goes when the red flows. It's a twisted place to be, and very hard to fight at times. It's the need to feel punished, like It's merited. We are hardest on ourselves...
Yes, true, exactly, I feel that feeling..
I feel so alive when I self harm. It validates my existence
Dem facts
ILL MIND ya me too
@@randomseven76 I would suggest that you study the Bushido code
Peyton Cofer what is that?
Me too
I hate when people say, "be happy"
Ban for you same
I feel the same way.
I feel the same if it was that easy no one would self harm or be in deppresion
Scott McAlister: That's code for "I don't know what to say to you, so I'm just going to say something that I saw on a Hallmark card"
For me it's the most difficult thing to do😥
I think I do it because it distracts me from everything else and I only have to think about hiding it. it sort of gives me control
One hundred percent feel the same way
Pia Back then, it was the only thing I could control. Other than a suicide I was planning, but that's a different story.
fave programs distract you talking to people distracts you herbal teas distract you pls dont hurt yourself
@@pamelabibby8642 not anymore, this was years ago!
@@GetYaWhat thats good i want to help you so what do you do now then when your upset i drink herbal and listen to recordings of me talking to my thrapeist
Watching this made me cry.. thank you. i managed to put it down tonight.
Good job, Stay Strong
same here. she is so wonderful
Me too
K Kat same here
K Kat I’m trying help please
Hearing the word "cut" or "cutting" is kind of triggering for me. So I always say "self harm" instead. Thanks for doing this topic.
Same
same, that word makes me sick to my stomach
cut cut cutty cut cut
Barb DeSouza there’s always someone like you 😑
@@opinions7165 can't expect the world to baby you. My advice is toughen up and get emotionally strong. Its terribly harsh out there. The more you act like a tumblr special snowflake, the more of a target you wear. I feel bad for you if you can't even handle one word. Toughen up
when you said people who self-harm have insecure attachments I cried a lot.
Me too
I must be an outlier then because I had a fairly normal childhood
@@gosling8308 omg that's exactly what i'm trying to figure out. i had a great childhood but i still have insecure attachments and i'm like w h a t
@@gosling8308
What's a normal childhood anyway? Wouldn't childhood be normal to everyone since that's what they grow up with?
i do. I was abused mentally very badly as a kid. Still am but not as bad my moms trying to get better. I’m always the kid who can’t communicate well bc of the abuse and being homeschooled/mostly alone until 8th grade and I don’t feel like my friends actually like me
I used to self harm because my life was changing so much and I wanted to feel in control of something. Self harming was really the only thing I could control.
Caleb Wilson Me to. Except I still do. I do it cause I hate myself and when I breakdown things get kinda blurry in my mind.
It's Megan hope your now finding ways to distract your self. Praying 🙏🏾
you can be in control by speaking your mind pls dont harm yourself i cant bear the thought of women being in paim and men having it easy this doesnt happen to men
pamela bibby Are you a fucking feminist or something? Please stop, it's obnoxious.
Watching this makes me feel like someone actually understands me.
I self harm sometimes to punish myself or to change the feeling, but i mostly self harm to punish myself. My self harm is not always cutting. I think about not being here anymore, but i do have two wonderful and beautiful cats that i love and adore so very much! They have been my only real means of moral support with their unconditional love. Many people who don't have pets don't understand. They are the only reason why i am still here. If it weren't for them i could not keep living through this pain day in and day out. Late at night and when i get up are mainly the worst times for me. I suffer from insomnia not to mention major depression and high anxiety. I have been through alot in my life growing up and as an adult, and have recently been through more traumatic experiences and big life changes. I get very stressed and overwhelmed very easily. I don't really have anyone I can turn to that I feel I can trust. I attend therapy but I don't even fully trust my therapist and doctor. Sometimes life really does suck! Thank you Katie for your videos and what you do. You are truly a blessing in this world.
This literally summed me up. I hope things got better for you pam
"Does That Make Sense?"
- Kati Morton , 2012
Garluth lol thanks for that this lightened my day a bit
DOES IT.
Does anyone else do it to see the blood. Like, seeing the blood is relieving and makes you feel in control?
Same
Yeah,thats true
its the pain and the blood for me
I usually only SH to see blood, probably like 95% of the time. It just calms me down instantly no matter what.
Can agree I like seeing the blood im fascinated by it somehow
I guess I’ve never been really close with either of my parents, and I don’t really talk to anyone about self harm and it’s really hard to trust people. The only place I feel like I can open up is online, behind a character that isn’t me, so no one knows it’s me
It's definitely hard to open up about. I've joined a self harm suport group on Facebook that has been really helpful to me, it's called "battle scars survivor led self harm support group" if you want to check it out. People of all ages both guys and girls are in the group and offer support for any kind of self harm.
It is easier to open up about it to others who understand.
Personally, I've only told two people, and it wasnt really me reaching out, but rather because I was "cornered" into telling them, otherwise I would probably have just lied like with everybody. those two I told would be the only people I could genuinely told and that would be the closest to understand, one of them actually told me he does it too.
There needs to be more people like you. Too many people just think that sending people who self -harm to the hospital will make it all better, but we need someone like you who actually tries to understand.
I’m looking this up cause I’m confused as to why I do it...
IsSa TwAiMz same
Mia Hamilton 💗same your not alone
Same I just have the urge to hurt myself in some way
A S it’s okay your strong and can fight it just believe in yourself
@@Aa-kz1nc same
I'm clean for 2 years now. It's hard to believe, but it's true. It made me feel better. I stopped when I recovered from my depression, and realised there was from little to none triggers anymore. I urged myself to come clean completely. I'm so glad I did.
Hehehe the good old times when Kati used to be way too serious in her videos ❤️ Watching again in 2017
This video made me cry. At the beginning I was like no but the I was like that is so true.
Yeah I cried at the beginning too and that was SO like me (;_;)
Yah, I started crying.
I also hadn't expected that, but in the middle I started crying.
I was trying to explain to my mum self harm so she could understand it more so I UA-cam self harm and play this video and she's even more upset because she thinks it's her fault, pre warning to anyone not a good vid to show ur parents.
margi inskeep oh no that’s horrible
My mum is a wytch, she's accepting, supporting and all the rest. I actually did it because I heard about it online. I have autism, so I didn't know how to express myself then. I only started with a butter knife, but then I switched to biting and sharpener blades. I was too afraid of pain so I pushed myself a lot. I'm so happy I stopped when I did, but I still have horrible scars on my thighs and the undersides of my arms.
It is their fault
While it may be their fault we shouldn't condemn them. No parent wants to do that to his child, the simply didn't know what harm the may be causing.
@@kkounal974 good parents don't want to mess their children up but make mistakes, parents with their own deep problems don't realize when they are messing their kids up, and then there are the crappy parents who enjoy messing their kids up. Yes they exist! And their are a lot of them around in the world. For whatever reason, sadly some people get off on treating their families like crap.
your channel and uploads are outstanding. very informative.
The beginning of this video hit hard. I never really had anyone to talk to when I became depressed or anxious. My dad would ignore me/mutter "shut up" under his breath, and my mom would tell me "wait til you're older and you have real problems." well, I am older, and still having the same problems I did 10 years ago. And I still have no one to talk to. (I'm a year clean btw so hopefully things will get better).
its. very hard to stop cutting..
I have been clean for like 3 years now. I had to heal from the pain that triggered my addiction to cut. once you find out why and heal from that then it gets easier
Tresa Delinski true
Ikr..
It's an addiction
Kate Clarke exactly;-;
I have an happy and caring family, i am 15 years old, but still.. i have really bad depression and have been cutting myself and no one knows about it... everyone thinks I'm happy/normal from the outside... cuz I've been faking happiness for 4 looong years.. why do i even have these tendencies?
Nightmare Fuel Hi. I know what you mean
You can talk to me whenever you want
I am the same :) I don't know either why I do it, go talk to someone, outside of your family, and try and figure it out :)
Nightmare Fuel OMG same here
me too 💕💕
Same but to me that stardet all really last year
Absolutely love this video, I think I'm finally realising some of the reason why I do what I do
The way I explain it to people for me is the feeling you get when you’re so frustrated and angry and just want to punch something. That’s what self harm is for me. It’s a way for me to release that frustration, anger, and sadness.
this made me cry cause it’s so spot on
I always understood that i was releasing or expressing through self harm, but when you talked about how the past effects you and its just overwhelming to think that and how true it is in my case. My younger sister and brother lash out, I try to be "perfect" and when its pushed aside i feel the urge to selfharm. I haven't in months mainly because i cant hide it anymore cause i have no personal space, so i just feel like im becoming trapped. i have a few great friends but i could never tell them this, cause they already make fun of self harmers and my mother has had a very hard childhood so anything in comparison is childish and weak of me....its just difficult.
Ik this is an old comment but I rlly, I the word is, sympathize with u
I'm having that trapped feeling too. I have to wear short sleeves / shorts at least 4 times a week (2 times for my job where I have to get my arms in water and it's weird wear deep sleeves in water and they might ask questions which trigger my already terrible anxiety and 2 times for swimming)
They would immediently find out if I cut myself, because I don't have any more space on my thighs. :(
This is so so accurate. I wish I had seen this when I was trying to explain what was going on to people.
The reason why I do it is because the less I care for myself, The less I care for anybody else.
Because anybody that I have met said they we're there for me, Even my family. But the next second I get called a freak.
Snassy Your Skelefell It going to be ok. You are not a freak
I feel the same way you’re not alone it’s hard to find people or someone to support you
This video really hit the nail on the head for me. When I started self harming, it was because I felt that I had nobody to confide in and I felt no one would empathize with the intense feelings I had about the world around me. I’m a high functioning autistic and struggled to connect with others, and I’m still learning that it’s okay to be human. You may not draw everyone by being yourself, but you will draw the ones who matter!
Why is it that whenever I am sad or anxious my brain goes to self harm so fast even though I haven’t done in it for a long time.
Maya Cassidy Familiarity and I understand personally that when things get blurry in your mind you can't think but you and it's a way for the brain to stop you from panicking. And it's likely you have self worth issues I do too. And I hate when people tell me to love myself because like Jaiden animations said " Just because you mnow you're colorblind doesn't mean you can see the colors ".
I self harm and you made me see a whole new side to self harm I never even thought about, and it really makes sense. Thank you so much for posting this video x
When she said we have to give ourselves a little bit of time, I in a weird way felt loved😭😇
Hello, I self-harm
I'm from argentina but I still understand you
You're right in the theme
Thank you so much. I brought back many friends and i have a stronger relationship with my parents.
I'm just an outsider looking into this world because it's peaked my interest on why people do this. I've known many friends who have self harmed and I was stumped on just why. However, this has been very informative.
Was having an emotional day and thought of self harming, but instead I came to your channel. Thank you.
Your video and tips on distraction got me to pick up my journal again and work in it. Instead of hurting myself, I'm helping it and its feeling so much better. Thank you so so much Katy.
That's a deeply rooted answer to a question very few people are willing to ask. Thanks for caring enough to talk about it
This is so accurate for me. Thank you for this, most accurate resource on the internet I’ve seen. So relatable to when I used to do it.
My family has always being there for me but I didn't tell them anything about what happened,everything you said is true
I really did, especially as i'm 23 and self harm and have an eating disorder..match your example completely. I've found now I'm fighting those impulses my mind is much clearer and I can now start to make some real progress..been a month free so far. I asked my therapist for more sessions but she's on holiday now..another month gap. A month gap for second time in a row feels like a lifetime..glad I have your videos!
I've cut to. let things out but here recently it's just to feel something. I'm so empty all the time
Kalli Webb same
I feel the same I look forward to nothing and nothing excites me I'm so tired of waking up.
Kevin Wolukis 4 years later and I still struggle but I promise you things do get better 🖤
Lucille Cawthra things will get better!!
Self harm is like a coping mechanism. But not a good one.
Also I had a friend who didn’t know, and she just said “YOU ARENT DEPRESSED STOP ACTING LIKE YOU ARE.”
Once she said say someone who's 23 comes into my office and they self harm and have an eating disorder, I lost it. That's exactly me. I just want to get better. How did it turn out like this?
I haven't physically harmed myself in nearly 20 years, but I saw this video pop up after watching some other videos. It always released my rage and let me feel calm. Thank you for this video that helped me understand why I did this.
I really struggle with self-harm for nearly 5 years now. And I didn't really understand why or where it did come from. Watching this video changed a lot. I'm in recovery right now, so it was easier to watch and really get the information out of it. But I have a really toxic mom and my dad was working a lot, my sister had her own problems. So I was left alone a lot when I was sad as I kid. The only thing comforting my where my stuffed animals. When you talk about attachment and how this is one of the things a selfharmer has probably experienced in live, it really opened my eyes. Now I can understand myself better. Thank you!!
You explained exactly why I SH, ive never fully been able to explain why I SH or how I feel but you hit it right on the nose. Ive struggled with SH for over 10yrs & have been abke to stop for a long period of time but I start up again I was so close to 4yrs without SH but I broke tgat the end of may. Watching ur videos has helped me understand myself and actions a bit better I watched the BPD video and researched it online and im more then positive thats what causes me to be so messed up.
i'm watching this video instead of cutting, for now. thank you!
I did it as a child and 30 years later, I did it again, which was recently, so Im watching this and its mind blowing how accurate it is. I want to stop and I'm looking for ways on how to condition myself and when I conquer that, I would love to help others get through it. Thank you Kati
watched this and cried! it was like you were in my mind, i got my appointment for a session with an ED speciallist and have group therapy once a week for my self harm, i'm 20 i've had these problems for 7 years...it's time to take my life back and be healthy again
I never knew.. or associated myself harm with not getting needs met when I was younger... first time anyone has helped me understand taht. Thank you
Honestly it’s just when there’s a build up of large and intense emotions, and when I self harm (which is very rare now, maybe once or twice a year, getting a lot better), I feel much more calm afterwards.
I read whole bunch of self harm articles but none has stated the main cause of self-harm is lack of attachment. The moment u mentioned it, i cried so hard. Thank you for making such a helpful video.
Kati, in your video. You keep asking does this make sense? Yes. This video was great. Also giving more of a voice to those of us who selh-harm. Thank you!
i self-harm and this was very helpful! i never through about it but when i was young i had no one if i cried out life was like "shut up"! now I'm surround by people that care and i know they care but deep in side i don't trust or believe it! even if some one hugs me my first thought is that they did it to shut me up so they can get on with their day because im just in the way! i have know this but never realize it came from my past it makes so much more sense now!
Sorry just looking at the comments and you are amazing at replying! Keep up the good work! God only knows we need people like you in the world! thanks.
This video explained a lot to me. Recently, I was doing research for a presentation for class regarding self harm and I found out that I have been doing this in many different forms since I was a younger. My mom told me that we I was born it was at a time of great stress and she acknowledges that I didn't get the attention I needed. It seems to make perfect sense now, but when growing up it felt like there was this endless pit of misery and pain that took me to the brink of suicide. She talks about distractions, but I feel like the thing that helped me out the most was mediation. I picked up the book "The Power of Now" and literally saved my life.
This was the first video of yours I ever saw, about 5 years ago, a few days after I self-harmed for the first time. I barely understood why I did it and wanted to know the meaning behind it that I didn't get, and this helped me a lot. I became a subscriber in late 2013 and have been here ever since. Your videos helped me a lot, Kati, and I think they were one of the reasons my self-harming only took place for 10 months, and one of the ways I survived high school; I was a freshman in 2013-14. Thank you so much for continuing to take time and effort to make all of these videos. Even as I get older and start college, I'll still continue to watch these. Keep up the amazing work!
You are so great!! All of your UA-cams have helped me more than I ever thought. I am 50 and male. So much I have learned about myself and why I do things is from this channel. I do not have a therapist, I will get one now because of you. My confused life needs help. I am on depression medication but now I know I need therapy too. Thank you!!
I don't know if this video came up just at the right time, or I was just in the right mood to watch it, but it helped me so much. I cried when you said it was due to lack of someone to talk to. I had never realized that's exactly how I feel.
I looked for this video because I started cutting in my late 20s -so I'm not the typical self-harmer who started in their teens- and I wanted to understand why I do it, why I feel like I need to do it.
Thank you for your video; it was brief, easy to understand, engaging, eloquent, and helpful.
that makes so much sense. i never made that connection before
kati i am so impressed about your videos
its very helpful God bless
I cant believe how good you are at explaining things. I actually know why I do this to myself now. Thank you
as someone that has struggled with this issue for decades , i wanna ty for your video !!! i just stumbled on to your channel by chance , and found myself crying while watching this video ... you described my childhood feelings with scary accuracy ... Finally someone that understands ,.. you have helped me to understand myself a little better , ty for that !!! this was very cathartic for me ... really looking forward to seeing more of you video's ..
Thank you!!
Thanks again for this video. My self harm was a desperate attempt to cope with and communicate to others the suffering I was feeling inside. Why do people think its attention seeking? When I went to the ER I got such horrible treatment from the nurses, maybe they thought I was wasting their time, but my pain was as strong as if I had lost a limb. I think their should be mental health ERs, with DBT therapists, Suicide intervention plans, social workers, addiction counselors ect...
Your amazing sense of humor
Very informative and Educational
hey Kati, I am on day 29 of no SH it is sooo hard but I am glad I have you to come to when I am really struggling. Jess xx
Thank you for addressing this issue. I have been dealing with SH for about 3 years, and I live where I can't get much help. It is also really hard to find good information on the internet. Thank you again.
What has been helpful for me with self-harm and (in certain cases) with b/p is doing something or going somewhere that is incompatible with said behaviour. I would go to coffee shops and bring a book or my laptop and just be there so I wouldn't be vulnerable to engage in the behaviour. Going to the park with your ipod and noticing the grass in the breeze, taking photos... painting your nails.. etc.
There can be comfort in the fact that you’re not alone, that you’re not the only person out there citing, but feeling that sense of belonging in the comment section sure as f*ck better not be a reason you think you should keep doing it. Let this realization why you may do it be the catalyst to the beginning of something amazing. Whoever reads this, you are loved, and when all these feelings feel like too much, or any other trigger to self harm, use it to create, not destroy. “See a need, fill a need”. When you are feeling down, find someone down, and help lift them up. You’d be surprised at how many of life’s questions get answered when you help others.
Scars stay longer than anyone ever will
Hello I think you hit the nail on the head for me in terms of dissattachment.
I'm one of those people who feels alone and isolated and feels like I have no one to talk to. I've recently started going to therapy because my best friend gave me an ultimatum, but also because I wanted to feel good about myself for once. He doesn't understand the fact that I self harm, but this video makes sense, at least for me, because I guess I didn't receive that love as a child. Please make more of these videos!!!
Thank you so much Kati. This is extremely correct and when you asked who do I confide in, it dawned on me where the root of my harming stems from. I relapsed about 3-4 months ago. Before then years had gone by. I'm not a habitual harmer, but when things have built up too much and overwhelm me along with the fucked things called life, I harm. I have used this as a coping mechanism since probably 18 years old, I'm 27 now. I distract myself every single day, and try to utilize free psychology because who can afford this really..but in the end, I'm dealing with this on my own and have been for almost 10 years. Its really crazy when you really try to convince yourself that this a normal way to cope with fucked up shit happening in your life.
I cut when I'm nervous, stressed, angry or sad lol. So, I think everyday? Idk I get stressed quickly
I think you might be the first person who has ever understood me and it's not about attention .Thank you for trying to help the world understand
This is making soo much sense!! Thanks
Thank you so much. I'm really touched. I feel like screaming it from the rooftops, really chuffed :) I tend to have a better week after seeing my therapist (this week) and then I get a big dip . I find the long breaks really tough, I can't express how encouraging it is to know I can message you , thank you xxx
I heard some people with bipolar, depression, borderline personality disorder, schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder self harm. They hear voices telling them to self harm or they have racing thoughts that lead the person to self harm, or it is a way dealing with a persons feelings. That is what I have read from various books about people who self harm.
I have depression and I often do it when I don't feel anything at all.
Samuel Barringer From my research some people do it to feel in control, they're many reasons. The reason varies from person to person. I usually get the urge to do it when I'm overwhelmed by bad emotions.
Youve helped me understand the reasons I used to cut. I finally understand its not just me, its because of my past. Thank you.
i wish i had you as a therapist, you sound like a great therapist so :)
You touched a lot of important aspects that lead to this kind of behaviour, but, as much as I strive to find an awnser to what could justify my actions, I can't help but feel that there really isn't any objective one, my advice is if you have any kind of impulse to hurt yourself, do not follow it, because you may think you are aware of the consequences, but you never fully are unless you actually do it, and believe me, the pain that comes from the act itself is the one that hurts the least.
I agree trying to make it stop.
please do more videos about self harm- how to explain to people? is it okay to hide it? etc. xx
I don't have a recovery journal per say but I do have a journal. I journal all the time. I know what work that needs to be done, I know what I need to work on in order to actually recover from everything but its that fear. I have been hurt by the ppl who are suppose to love me the most so its hard to trust anyone and open up really and be completely honest w/out feel disgusting, gross, dirty etc etc. Which is why I cut. to feel physical pain instead of the emotional pain. Its that quick release
I wish you were my school therapist because you are so understanding and so careful with what you say
I do it so I don't have to feel my emotional pain. Instead, I make myself feel physical pain to take my mind off of the emotions. I have lots of people around me I love and I trust them and talk to them about everything, I even do that with my therapist. I've only had my first therapy session, suited for self harm. And I can't wait to hopefully get better and stop.
I always wondered about this, but what you said makes a lot of sense
I was tearing up while listening to you, so true
Omg Kati I need you !!!! You are seriously amazing and you would really understand I was adopted from Romania when I was 2 and it's just me and my mom she adopted me as a single parent and she told me that I didn't get the love and nutrition I needed. I hate being adopted I just want to be normal as for everyone else I hope you are recovering I love you all and I hope to get in touch with you soon . Thanks
Im 14, and I think the reason is that I’m just so stressed, unhappy and insecure and when I self harm, I can’t even explain it, I just feel better. It’s like I’m not focusing on everything that’s stressing me out, but I’m not positive that’s why.
Wow it explains so good
actually when you get the trigger to harm yourself nothings helps. these suggestions are based on the hypothesis, I am a victim of self-harm and at the age of 35 with a loving family, I couldn't get over it!!! physical pain is less agonizing than the mental one.
You're the first comment I've come across that sounds the most like me.
When u were asking those questions and saying the answers i thought to myself like thats like me and i honeslty dont know what to do anymore
i cannot distract myself...
i started at the age of 11, I'm 18 and I still haven't found something..
That is not real. You're just inducing yourself the idea that you are unable to stop just because it has been going on for 9 years. Nine years is not an infinity. Treat yourself right. Also, people out there are talking how they can't get things done due to all the distractions and you say you can't distract yourself? well you gotta be a real damn focused person. Why don't you actually focus and find a distraction? Cause 9 years is not a valid excuse. Maybe finding a distraction can be a distraction. You can do better. Giving up becomes boring.
@@anasuciu2667 Thank you for the advice.
Anyway I don't know why I feel sorry for what I said..
I try to distract myself from negative thoughts but sometimes I fall into this and sometimes I'm not sad and idk why but I feel the need
Once again thank you so much, I appreciate it.
@@iordanka22 You shouldn't feel sorry for anything you have ever said because that is a piece that just contributes to you achieving your real true self. So, keep working hard for that piece of art.
I like o believe that trough blood and tears we let out the things that we can't express trough words. So, honeslty, the simple fact that you were able to put your feelings into words and to share them is a real act of bravery, so you get a point for that one.
See? You're better than you thought. Healing is just around the corner. You just gotta be tough and make a few more steps until you get there. Make yourself proud.
Also, something that worked for me, do not think of all the reasons that you have to cut. Think of the reasons to not do it. Literally, you will find more reasons to not do it. Keep them in mind and think of them everytime you get your hands on a blade. You got the key.
I don't harm my self like cutting or burning I just distract my self with something else like dancing until I lose all my energy or I go to place that I can be alone and scream.
KELA your smart
When I was working and transitioning out of my self harm behaviors, substituting ice in the place of a self harm object was really helpful to me.