My advice is, it takes a lot of hard work to continue no contact, heal your heart and move on.. Don't go back to them. Whether you find someone or not, you have to live for yourself.. Get busy, that's the best way to forget. Hope it helps.
"Don't go back to them" Is extremely unexplained. It's often heard that the break-up can make relationships stronger. I know I have changed a lot within my mistakes and she wasn't perfect. I'm not gonna exactly welcome her in like nothing happened but I'll treat her like I never knew her. I wanna find those red flags to see if she's changed. If she has, she isn't the same person that broke up with you.
@@depressing_reap969if this person left you … because this person thought could do it better and this person imagined his life without you and left you behind and probably started tinder a few days later after the relationship went to trash and after that this person were playing games as you didn’t had a heart ❤️… and didn’t care to hurt you … why are you gonna be after that person ? I made that mistake !!!! After the guy blocked me and I realize wait a minute .. I’m unforgettable and I’m beaut and smart … why in after someone back who doesn’t want me ? Where is my self worth ? This guy didn’t even respected my grief time and blocked me … so he can unblock me and do whatever he wants with his life ! I continue because the time I’ll spend on this guy will never comes back
3 months of no contact. I last spoke to him 24th December last year (2023) it's taken lots of prayers and discipline to never look behind coz that man put me through so much. Am grateful i have healed and still healing.
@@archangelelmo Yes several times.... He started reaching out around July and became persistent from then on even sending family members. I blocked him. I'm at peace now. I never thought I'll reach this point where I'm enjoying life being all by myself. I'm forever grateful to to God 🙏🏾
Your videos heal a lot of us. Im happy to say that after blocking my partner in all social platforms he woke and came back home Thank you The most I like about you is that you have enhanced my faith in God without mentioning God. Letting go and letting God is Faith.
Some of the ex's moved on the minute they jumped into a rebound relationship and they didn't care about nobody else's feelings and them being happy but them . People do make mistakes but we cannot read another person's mind , They may never come back that's why people shouldn't be waiting on them to come back . What you are saying is so true . Be blessed and safe . Miss . Linda ❤🙏🏽❤
I remember watching your videos and wanting her to come back to me but it's been 8 months and life has been better. So time really makes the difference, when I thought it would be no way I could move on, but you do.
Same it's been 7 months or 8. I think the first 2, 3 months were quite difficult but time was passing by and now I think we won't get back together I almost move on but if I look back at my past I think is rhe best
I’m at 6 months. It’s difficult because we have a two year old together so I still have to see her. She monkey branched to a long term “friend” who she always said wasn’t her type etc! They are living together now since January and I have heard they have checked each others phones behind each others backs etc so doesn’t sound great already. She also tries to text me when it’s not about our daughter and I just give short plain responses. I wouldn’t ever have her back now and feel much better about life. The first three months were torture and I think my daughter saved me from doing anything stupid to myself. Time is the greatest healer plus don’t drink or do drugs. Get yourself fit and healthy.
@tonymorph3672 I feel you my ex justified that she needs to be in touch with an ex friend with benefit .... Do you know what's the biggest red flag? A woman that talks to a guy and doesn't acknowledge that the guy she talks to wants to sleep with her while she is in a relationship... let then be you lost few years with that person imagine if it was 20 or 30 be better one day somone will come along
@@tonymorph3672 im in the same boat but as a women. We have a 4 year old child and he monkey branched with an old female friend of his....its now almost a year since the breakup. I life pretty peacefull, his realtionship did not work out from what i heard. I dont think much about him anymore but sometimes the wish for him to come back lingers even if im not sure if i would even want him back by now
It's been 3 months for me now, as my fiance cheated on me after 10 year relationship! It's hard, but the no contact helps a lot! Be patient, and the time gonna do it's job. I know what u mean, your feelings are like a roller coaster.... once up, once down. And u fell like u cannot control it... be strong, and just move one, step by step. Every day you get a step forward, and get a bit easier. It's like a strong magnet, the closer to the magnet is harder to move away, need more effort to make any step. But the far you get the easier.
@narendrabajnath so just over 5 months and she reach out wondering how I was doing saying she was having dreams about me. Guys honestly they always reach out especially if you were good to them. Which I was. When she wanted to end things I said ok and didn't fight or beg. You need to let them see if the grass is greener. Which it's probably not. I always hit the gym but now I got my diet on point, started boxing, started reading the Bible more, and started working on my track car. Guys forget about them and work on being the best Verizon of yourself. I also met a great girl at the gym and now it's going to be hard for my ex to get me back. Not sure if I even want her. I thought my ex was the one and thought we'd get married. Forget your ex if you want them back and that's what I did. Trust the process and stay in no contact. When I had bad days just sit and let it soak in but after that keep pushing Guys. God bless those struggling but know after the storm it's clears skies. God is great and has a plan for everyone but it's on his time not yours. 🙏
My ex did this. It’s because they’re so used to you allowing them to disrespect you, once you show them you have a sense of self respect they have no choice but to feel angry about it
May I reply as a dumper. Sometimes we dump to be heard When we dont get our way we start explaining why we did that and so on Sometimes we are trying to see if you can leave without us. We use it as a measuring tool to see if we matter to you No ill intents I don't know about others Thank you
Omg...just happened to me last week while on vacation. He called me every name under the sun. Called it off with me because I left. Now he's playing the victim. Ignoring my calls. I'm hurting bad
@@lungilezama6448 If you wanted to feel "mattered", you should have simply realized that the person you are about to mess with, used to be YOUR person who were with you because you DID matter. You are not the King or Queen of Neverland, and your priorities do not take the center stage in a relationship. It is always built upon mutual compromise. Without patience and without empathy, when you go ahead and take a one sided action, you have got what is coming for you. Life is not a Disney movie with a perfect prince and a perfect princess who have no actual jobs or responsibilities. Our ancestors realized this much better and were not glued to social media, constantly living in a world of comparisons. That is why their marriages held on stronger. And no ill intents? Really? Sounds like no accountability to me. Hurting someone who loved you and believed in you to satisfy some insecure curiosity? That sounds like the highest level of ill intent that one can carry. Of course, when you are a person without gratefulness or empathy, that can be hard to comprehend.
The is channel and a couple others were what kept me sane after my last breakup. It’s been 5 months since the break up and about 4.5 months of no contact. This videos helped me heal, and move on. I’ve found a great girl in the last few weeks and wouldn’t even consider going back to the past. Stay focused out there. Blue skies are ahead!
@@archangelelmonope. Never heard from her again. And it’s completely fine. Ive moved on and met a wonderful woman. Did lots of growing and learning in the relationship world….. good luck on your relationship journey.
Coach My name is Najee. I have been watching your videos non stop for the past 4-5 days. I have struggled with self love and confidence ALL MY LIFE. IT SHOWED IN EVERY RELATIONSHIP. This relationship that drove me to your videos has been the most important one to me and my insecurities etc self doubt has showrd up in a major way. I have loved her through things that would show lack of confidence in 1 self. Not just cuz o was scared to leave I WAS SCARED TO HAVE TO BE ALONE. SUNDAY I WENT INTO NO CONTACT AND WATCHING YOU HAS IMPOWERED ME IN WAYS NOTHING HAS IN 30 YEARS IN JUST A FEW DAYS. APPRECIATE KING 💯 I PRAY NC WORKS FOE PUR RELATIONSHIP BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY ITS WORKING 4 ME AND MY LIFE
@@hyperion752 hi👋🏻 we saw each other in October and he kept texting me time to time since. Last time, he reached 10 days ago. But I know that he doesn't changed at all.. so I'm trying to move on. I just want to say to people who's in no contact stage, your ex DEFINITELY will turn back! BUT it doesn't mean that he/she CHANGED.. unfortunately.😔 So don't get high hopes.. JUST MOVE ON with your life! 🫡🤍 Love. x 🌸
@@hyperion752 hi👋🏻 we saw each other in October. And he wanted to see me about a month ago.. but i don't want to see him because i don't think he's changed.. I just wanna say something...your ex will DEFİNİTELY turn back!..BUT it doesn't mean he/she changed.. don't get high hopes. Just take care of yourself mentally and physically 🌸💖🙏🏻
@@esmArt_ Me and my ex-GF broke up on new years eve it was so bad that my friends and her friends got involved 🙈 no contact since a week after that terrible night,i still miss her but don`t want get back together it hurts🤧💔
" Pedestal" thanks coach! I actually found a woman and are in the exact same situation as you described early in the vid. A mentor of mine said, "Calm down. If it's meant for you, it will be there." You just confirmed this statement. Thank you for easing my nerves!
My ex from 7 years doing the no contact we broke up around 2 months so I msg her and ask would u rather start over a new relationship or come back and talk and lets fix things? She reply I don't know. So I saw that as a red flag and block her ass I not waiting and being nobody option now I'm doing me moving forward
I just went through the same thing. In the beginning she was pursuing me. After a month I couldn't control my emotions and wanted more. But she tried to set boundaries which made me dump her. She was the most beautiful woman I was ever with. I wish i could have her back, but she made do things I'd never do and made me feel like I wasn't good enough. Because she was so beautiful. Next time I will not second guess myself. I will hit the gym and get myself into even better shape than I'm in now and I will get another woman. Thanks Coach Blac! I love the content/advise.
I am over him and can see he was the wrong man in mylife. Anyway your videos helped me a lot , i watched your videos to calm down myself and by time i realised that i worth more than how he sees me . I am not his type of girl its fine , by time i understand that he cant fit in my loyal life so he has to go back to his shitty life ( from one woman to another ) . ❤️
In most cases exes do NOT come back! What does that tell us? STOP trying to use no-contact as a strategy to get them back. Use it as a powerful tool to regain your stability, mindset and personal goals...THAT is the biggest prize!
I think we can argue that "come back" is subjective. I just had a breakup which is why I'm here. I will say that the majority of my exes have contacted me at least once after the breakup. The more intense ones have done so within days. So NC can help a person achieve both outcomes. But the latter should be one's focus
Brother, thankyou from India. After being in no contact for 9 months. I got breadcrumbs in mean time. But now I'm starting to move forward in my life. I'm at peace now, even I don't like the idea of getting along with her again. Seriously your videos helped me in that tough time. Thanks a lot. Now it doesn't matter much if I get back together with her or not. I accept god's plan is better than anything ❤️❤️ Thankyou so much ❤
I feel like sending a voice note and crying out my eyes , my heart is so broken, it's been a month and and not even a word from him , God am I that easy to forget I saw him.this night and I feel so broken
Hi coach.. after 3 mths of no contact my ex called me at 2am..we spoke for about an hour it was a good conversation. But im still watching ur videos to make sure im making the right moves. We're suppose to meet up and hang out 😊
Careful, the 2am, 1hr long conversations, can quickly lead to cold shoulder. But perhaps it's your schedule. Happy for you. Just tread slowwwly, remember ur the prize.🎉
I feel like I’m in the same scenario as you at this moment. Recently went no contact. It definitely is not a game but I know what I bring and it’s not being reciprocated. The silence will definitely reveal if it was genuinely mutual.
This clear my mind . Thank you God. and after I wrote 15 things . He did. I put my values down. Going back to his so many times. Don’t need him. I am child of God ❤and thank lots for your words . God bless you dearly.
Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it
there is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE.
Hello Coach. It’s hard to believe this chick let you slip through her hands. It’s crazy to think about. Thank you for sharing your personal stories. Love that about you. Have a great day.✨
Pedestal. Thanks coach, your advice is very grounding. I haven't had contact for 2 weeks and my attraction for him has gone down. I've been doing me and feel so good.
It's no wonder why so many of you modern women are single and lonely “by choice” these days. You ladies should always put a good man on a pedestal. Men build everything, including that electronic leash you use every minute (your phone). Respect him and try the best you can to make him happy. That's how you keep a good man.
I’ve always put my ex on a pedestal. She was the woman that decided to have my children. My daughter has autism and she still decided to have my children. I made my mistakes she made hers as a man. I feel like everything falls to your feet as it should, she’s now dating the guy that she met that night when she went out when I was watching all the kids. It’s been almost 2 months the first month. I did the contact to my demise now I’m doing no contact for a few days and it feels very powerful. I hope to get her back and I hope to make our family again, but that isn’t God I have family with my kids sooner than later
There are many people on this planet, once bbroken considered end. Meet new people, God give you wisdom from past experience and find a new experience and feel how God Love and Compassion With new relationship. Forget and forgive and move on.
Pedestal thank you i got nice thoughts from the video, i had the same history, she was excited the first time we went out, and she had me on a pedestal but later because of my attitude and my anxiety I put her on the pedestal, later she dumped without even trying to solve things when i was really depressed and anxious just wanting her to listen me out; now i realized I'm the one who won in this situation, she showed who she really was and that im worth more than that
We had a good thing. But he wouldn't compromise. When i put my foot down and told him how it makes me feel that he says he going to work with me on something and then doesnt... im the bad guy. Everyone is devastated. All our friends and family. They said i wasn't in the wrong, and he changed a lot while we were together for the better and looked happy. He broke up with me because he can't compromise or communicate. We never yelled, screamed, or called each other names. But he said there was nothing to talk about and he isn't going to waste my time. Just wow. I seen him 2 times since we broke up in the grocery store and he looks sad.
And when i asked so you dont love me he said i didnt say that. So i immediately started moving my stuff out and he acted mad about it. Said you dont have to get it all out now...i told him while crying you dont get to break my heart and then prolong my healing process. And i asked him to help me get my shit out. Couple days later he said you dont have to get it all now. And i said i told you i was coming ypu didnt have to be here. When do i have to have my safe out. He said it can stay as long as you need it. Then said if your not going to stay here all your shit needs to go??? Wtf
My SP is the 1 missing out, I know my worth and value and what I can bring to the table and if she thinks it’s time to start dating again then go try beautiful because those who come after me won’t give you what you are looking for and you’ll always be comparing !! and you’ll be saying to yourself what did I do by letting you go.
I enjoy your videos PEDESTAL 😊 thanks for bringing back to my memory how much value I did bring into his life for him and his children, he used everything about me. I’m proud of myself having almost 2 months of NO contact. 🎉
Putting myself on a PEDESTAL has been pretty rough some days.. 4 months NC.. Recently I've been thinking I should reach out to see what's up but then remember I've gotta respect myself not to do it.. my feelings are lingering from time to time.. but I feel like it's a temp check to see and maybe it'll help me move forward.. haha I most likely won't do it but.. what's your thoughts on it Coach?
Cool video , My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
Pedestal: I think when I heard the words “ I don’t miss you” and he said he couldn’t say them back it cut me so deep as only 48 hours earlier we had had the best day ever , and he openly confessed when we were on and off he wasnt good with relationships… it’s been over a month and I expected him to call and tell me he missed me but this time … after so many times … he hasn’t yet … I fell so hard and it’s been so hard to move forward as I felt so much for him and still do, thinking of the past is hard
Pedestal. It's true we idealize the relationship. But the thing is, while I was in it, I was focusing on the GOOD parts too. The bad parts are there, not like I did not notice them. But obviously, it's no deal breaker if we are the one dumped yet long to be back. I wanted to work on them, but they were very acceptable. Sure, our pain after a breakup can be just that feeling of loss, of losing control, and all that. But sometimes, we have been with lots and see how special she was. How special what we had TOGETHER was special. And I'm surely not alone in that when we focus on the negative, enough resentment creeps up that we don't want to even be back no more! Another issue not talked about enough is how we are in a limbo during NC, in an "emotional pause". I'm currently around a few great gals. Yet I find it unfair if I started something with them and my ex did reach out and break NC. What would I do then? Having options is awesome,. Having options while hurting someone that doesn't deserve it is not.
I think I was to good and kind to my friend we never had the conversation about boundaries or expectations for becoming a couple and the first time we have a disagreement and I back up not cutoff communications she turns around and cut me all the way off. I think her pride and ego will keep her from reaching out. The argument was that if you want to date other people, it's fine, but you won't have access to me, and I won't invest in you in that way. I told her this from the beginning two months in, and she acts like it's the first time I said it, then told my brother, who introduced us. I broke up with her 3 times. How can I break up with you if we didn't have that conversation?
Pedestal... I only wants to move on but i just don't know how.. the pein is so deep and I don't seem to forget about him... if time heals i wish to be healed quickly because it's almost a month and this time around I don't think he will come back He hurted me badly and i know he doesn't deserve me despite of my shortcoming
My ex actually reached out to me the other day after we had been in no contact for about a little over a month i didnt respond i may have made a mistake by not responding for some reason i feel like she is just testing the waters to see how serious this is but as of right now im focusing on self improvement
I used to put my ex on a pedestal when we were together. She fell out of love and we broke up 4 months ago. I'm doing no contact very well, however, I've lost hope; don't think she's coming back.
@@archangelelmo To ask about the dogs, yes. But that was about it. I've healed a lot since watching this video. I don't even want her back lol. It's always a win win in this situation. You either get your ex back, or you find yourself and move on. You realize a lot when you take off the rose colored glasses after the breakup.
Baby my ex came right on back and we are better friends then ever he told me he’s better person when he’s around me in which I know. I don’t care to be in a relationship with him but I feel like he finds me more attractive because of that. Also I continued to live my life while he was gone he said he was watching me.
Dont be friends with your ex if you want them back. It is just a way of controle for them, like you said he is watching you. It means he is stupid and doesn't want a relationship but freedom but also want you in his backpocket just in case. Dont fall for that
Pedestal…. Coach I have been listening to your videos for several months now. Yes no contact works my ex has come back around twice but as you stated in this video I didn’t quite practice putting myself on a pedestal so we aren’t back together. I guess I’m a slow learner the light bulb finally went on. He doesn’t deserve me lol. I don’t really have a question I just wanted to say “Thank You” for your messages.
Pedestal. She reached out 3 weeks after no contact even though she has already moved on. My aunt passed away and she reached out to tell me. She was sorry about my aunt passing and to let her know if there is anything she can do and that me and my family are in her prayers. 3 weeks ago she told me she didn’t want me anymore and that she didn’t like who I was and to move on with my life then blocked me on everything. I waited a day after Che contacted me and said. “Thank you. It’s nice to hear from you. Hope you are doing well. Then I went back into no contact. Can
Pedestal, im in no contact now been 4 days. I had started before and she kept contacting me. Anyway i messaged another girl she got mad and we broke up. I realized i messed up i didnt say anything sexual or even flirting. She kept telling me she misses me and love's me but i was putting all the effort. She was starting to fall back into old habits partying with her gf and going out. What should i do
Hey Coach thank you for sharing your story its encouraging to know that you have been through what some of us are going through like i said before you dont come across as anxiously attached i suppose you did some work on yourself its good to know that you were not always like this.
Pedestal! My ex saw each other for a year, I helped her move to another city. We last spoke in Oct 23’ I did what you Coach called the Hail Mary, never reached out since, don’t have each other on social media, no mutuals. When did we speak last she said she wanted to see me, but I made a promise after being disrespected, that I wouldn’t step foot in her flat and she must come to me. She stated 3 hours travel is too much on transport. I’m dating other women now, but a part of me feels business is unfinished. Thoughts and advice coach?
Pedestal. Thanks for another good one. Just over a month NC…again. Broken up for 4 months. This past month she’s been blocking and unblocking on socials multiple times. At this point I want to cave soon. Im done with the games she wants to play. I think she’s too stubborn to even attempt to reach out though. Almost feel ready for a Hail Mary.
@@BlackScreen-nb7txI completely agree with that. I know that I’m not quite there yet. At this point I find the little games laughable and sad. Unfortunately they still give me a bit of hope. I at least haven’t shown any signs of playing in to this behavior. Months ago idk if I would’ve been able to say the same. Thanks for your response!
What’s the difference between putting them up on a pedestal and just being a good person trying to help them… I didn’t put her needs over mine,but I definitely tried to help her. Why is this crap such a game
We have a 8 month old daughter, and we were the best of friends, and we were sup in love, got married, and she kicked e out and barely speaks to me. I heart broken, and I know the real her, and this is someone I don’t know. I’m afraid if I move on then she’ll be gone for good. But she’s my daughters mother, my wife. I get sad some days, thinking of my family, and wanting them, while I sleep at my office or my mothers, it’s depressing
Thank you. I have been Basically in nc for a month but i did try to ask him to explain his actions from asking me to marry him within a weeks time he said we are done. Now wont talk or text. Stupid me cried in front of him and said I will always love you and walked away. Gave him the swell head he wanted. I will never contact him again yet have to see him everyday at work it is devastating to have had a very intimate relationship now he acts like he doesn't even know me and is angry . I did nothing but give to him. How sad
How does she feel this when she’s already in a relationship. No point in waiting for her. Her loss. I’m just in pain of how she threw me away like garbage
Pedestal..Yeah I saw this video just in time. I've actually reached the point that I find myself quite tired of my ex and was about to send a message to tie up a loose end or 2. However I checked myself and accepted that it was all just an emotional response and why should I continue to feed her ego with my interest.
Pedestal. It’s tough because I work with my ex and it’s a restaurant, I broke no contact this weekend but I’m going back into it going forward and checking new opportunities elsewhere. I want her back but it will be easier to work on my mental without seeing her.
I know exactly how you feel, I also work in the same place as my ex and I have to see her almost daily, it’s very very tough and I feel I can not heal, however I know if I quit or throw in the towel, than how can I look myself in the mirror, please keep your head up! Don’t let nothing get you down! You are not alone.
No contact is good if you want to move on, but to get your ex back? The sad truth is , whiles you are in no contact, they are sleeping around having fun, till they get rejected or get treated bad, that's when they think of going back, is not gonna be easy knowing that, they slept around and you didn't, will take some hard work to let go so, if you want your ex back then don't go no contact for too long cos they'll be sleeping around. Most of them either female or male.
Pedestal. I'm really struggling with NC. Every single day. I am also overcome with shame and embarassment. The last time I broke NC about a month ago, I went crazy on him and sent endless paragraphs. I guess he has lost all respect he had remaining, for me. I miss him so much. 😢
Pedestal..it's been 1month and almost 2 months of no contact been following your videos, of late it's as tho the fear increased again I begged at the initial of the break up but after following your videos I have stopped completely and it's almost a month and I feel as tho his moved on and doesn't care been so cared ,my birthday is coming up and I feel anxious 😢
Coach , I’m the dumper ! Do you have videos regarding this matter! I have to cut her off because i wasn’t getting or having my needs meet, she was there always to take not to give or reciprocate. Thank you, I watch all your content.
Dude... I totally imagine the worst psycho/anti-social behavior of my exes when down looks like up to me. Then I think of my departed golden retriever and how the worst of him was better than the best of them 🐕
It’s been longer than we were even together yet last night I still had a random night of chills and an ugly dream she moved on, there’s been no intention of her reaching out yet she even said when we were together no one had done certain things I did for her. How do I get her off this pedestallllllll? Ive had relations w other women and have vented to friends therapy and cried yet I still miss her. I’ve reached out a couple times but made myself just look weak. I want this internal suffering to end.
Yea if your getting dumped then your like me and I promise you that will not get your ex back and no contact will not work for you.. you are probably going to be alone for a long time. You will never heal and you will always remember her.
NC is defffff not easy.. I didn't know how to unlove a man I was in love with for 17 yrs... 2 yrs NC and time has deffff been my friend.. he was nothing but heartless to me and I now c it was his loss n deffff not mine! I've also realized I can have love for him... Buttt from a distance! Tysm for ur content! It's def helped me over the yrs! ❤
Pedestal. Thank you for your videos which I’m learning a lot. I decided to do no contact as of last week and it’s going on five days. The last time I spoke to my ex he stated that he wants to go to counseling with me. This is one on one counseling not couples therapy. Should I allow him to come with me? I do realize that’s he’s very angry with me for cheating on me etc. maybe he has hope in us coming back together one day. I’m clueless
@Coach Blac- Blacademic. I broke up with my ex back in August and we stop talking for 6 months. At the end of January she added me back and we started talking again and was working on and taking this relationship slow. But recently she started growing feelings for another guy and just wanted to be friends and I told her I wanted more than that. So I unadded her and said maybe someday we can date again and be happy. I told her to be open Abt it and she said she will and maybe. This happen a couple days ago and I put her into the no contact. What should I do to get out the friend zone with her?
*PEDESTAL* The last message I sent to my ex was over one month ago where I said. ´I believe we still have beautiful chapters to write together but I respect what you want.´ (She declined a catch up drink) My question is, does that give the impression that I have her on a pedestal, or does it show some self-respect as I have not contacted her since then? Thanks Coach
Women don't like cheesy statements like that. That's like Some thing out of a movie. In real like they don't want that. The woman wants to be the woman. They don't want a guy saying things like that. But staying NC will show you are starting to respect yourself more
Pedestal Hey Coach, so when my ex broke up with me, she didnt offer friendship, but said she was open to something in the future. Does this mean anything? Havent directly reached out in 2 months but hearted one of her stories about 3 weeks ago to test the waters. Thank you 😊
Pedestal! Ex of 2 1/2 years cheated on me (while living with me) back in January. We broke up and I went no contact for 1 month and reached out to find out she immediately went to this new guy and is dating. I did have a few days of "how can you do this to me" messages, etc. But then again went completely into no contact for over 2 months now. I still very much love her and would take her back provided she works on some of the things I have the past 3 months (understanding Attachment styles, emotional availability, etc - essentially all the things I feel I was responsible for the relationship ending). I feel compelled now to reach out. I have no idea what she is up to, if she is still with this guy (likely is) or what. How should I approach?
my ex followed me in instagram in January, and she also texted me, she told me to text her when I will go to Germany, and that we will be closer and better she said. I don't know what to think, she always watches what I post, but I don't see anything, because I didn't followed her back
Hy Blac, I've benn watching now your channel for couple of mouths, and really helped me a lot! Literally I'm going to sleep with your videos, as right now I'm going through a hard period of my life. This is the 3 months that my fiance just cheated on me and dating with an other guy! The thing what's make mor difficult the situation, is the fact that we are still leaving together! So ai literally know when she's stay outside longer as I know when she supposed to finish with the work, and so one. Simple makes way harder when u are still leaving together. Now I would have 2 questions to you. First of all probably I haven't see all all of your videos, but I seen a lot, and all of them are great and helpful. However I miss a video about how you treat your ex if u are still leaving together in the same accommodation, same house. Because let's be honest, could happen that u need to say with your ex at least for a while, even for a year in the same house, for many reasons. So how could u treat? How to talk, how often to talk, what especially think to talk with them. What is a nice gesture to do for her, and what is too much, and look like u are too kind, which Is not good. For example u have the same car, but she doesn't have driving license, you can go to sopping, but what about a day off when she has a day off as well? And she would like to go to shopping with u... you should act her like a stranger? Act like u are busy and u have nothing to do in the shop right now, so u are not willing to go out with her? And things like that... as obviously when u are still leaving together the no contact is became kind of limited no contact. But what is that limit? For example she's watching a movie in the leaving room, can I join to her but don't talk just watch? Or I need to escape and go up to my room and act as I'm busy and have no time for watching movies with her? So if u would be so kind to make a video even about this situation I would highly appreciate that, and I'm sure even many of us. Thanks indeed again and highly appreciated your hard work. It's mean a lot!
The 27th will be a month of no contact. I really dont think he's coming back. I might gave been a rebound girl not knowing. His ex popped back up and he got confused and distant. He said he needed time because his health was going down. He said to both of us and the other lady that he wanted to be alone to address his health issues. Coach do I call to check on him and his health?
My advice is, it takes a lot of hard work to continue no contact, heal your heart and move on.. Don't go back to them. Whether you find someone or not, you have to live for yourself.. Get busy, that's the best way to forget. Hope it helps.
❤
"Don't go back to them" Is extremely unexplained. It's often heard that the break-up can make relationships stronger. I know I have changed a lot within my mistakes and she wasn't perfect. I'm not gonna exactly welcome her in like nothing happened but I'll treat her like I never knew her. I wanna find those red flags to see if she's changed. If she has, she isn't the same person that broke up with you.
@@depressing_reap969if this person left you … because this person thought could do it better and this person imagined his life without you and left you behind and probably started tinder a few days later after the relationship went to trash and after that this person were playing games as you didn’t had a heart ❤️… and didn’t care to hurt you … why are you gonna be after that person ? I made that mistake !!!! After the guy blocked me and I realize wait a minute .. I’m unforgettable and I’m beaut and smart … why in after someone back who doesn’t want me ? Where is my self worth ? This guy didn’t even respected my grief time and blocked me … so he can unblock me and do whatever he wants with his life ! I continue because the time I’ll spend on this guy will never comes back
Very helpful. I read your post just when I needed it. Thank you.
Thank YOU for this! It helped remind me how much value I bring to the table…I needed to be reminded of that❤
3 months of no contact. I last spoke to him 24th December last year (2023) it's taken lots of prayers and discipline to never look behind coz that man put me through so much. Am grateful i have healed and still healing.
Whats the update ?:(
Don’t ever go back
Did your ex ever reach out to you??
@@archangelelmo Yes several times.... He started reaching out around July and became persistent from then on even sending family members. I blocked him. I'm at peace now. I never thought I'll reach this point where I'm enjoying life being all by myself. I'm forever grateful to to God 🙏🏾
@@bettyloves3072 so you went on a 10 month no contact... I'm doing almost 4 months and I just want that person back...
My Ego Died. I met myself. Move on.
Dig it 👌 😎 🙌
Mum always said you should give your used toys to the less fortunate.
Oh I like that!!
This means you are also someone's "used toy".
😂😂😂😂
Your videos heal a lot of us.
Im happy to say that after blocking my partner in all social platforms he woke and came back home
Thank you
The most I like about you is that you have enhanced my faith in God without mentioning God.
Letting go and letting God is Faith.
Some of the ex's moved on the minute they jumped into a rebound relationship and they didn't care about nobody else's feelings and them being happy but them . People do make mistakes but we cannot read another person's mind , They may never come back that's why people shouldn't be waiting on them to come back . What you are saying is so true . Be blessed and safe . Miss . Linda ❤🙏🏽❤
I remember watching your videos and wanting her to come back to me but it's been 8 months and life has been better. So time really makes the difference, when I thought it would be no way I could move on, but you do.
Preach
Same it's been 7 months or 8. I think the first 2, 3 months were quite difficult but time was passing by and now I think we won't get back together I almost move on but if I look back at my past I think is rhe best
I’m at 6 months. It’s difficult because we have a two year old together so I still have to see her. She monkey branched to a long term “friend” who she always said wasn’t her type etc! They are living together now since January and I have heard they have checked each others phones behind each others backs etc so doesn’t sound great already. She also tries to text me when it’s not about our daughter and I just give short plain responses. I wouldn’t ever have her back now and feel much better about life. The first three months were torture and I think my daughter saved me from doing anything stupid to myself. Time is the greatest healer plus don’t drink or do drugs. Get yourself fit and healthy.
@tonymorph3672 I feel you my ex justified that she needs to be in touch with an ex friend with benefit .... Do you know what's the biggest red flag? A woman that talks to a guy and doesn't acknowledge that the guy she talks to wants to sleep with her while she is in a relationship... let then be you lost few years with that person imagine if it was 20 or 30 be better one day somone will come along
@@tonymorph3672 im in the same boat but as a women. We have a 4 year old child and he monkey branched with an old female friend of his....its now almost a year since the breakup. I life pretty peacefull, his realtionship did not work out from what i heard. I dont think much about him anymore but sometimes the wish for him to come back lingers even if im not sure if i would even want him back by now
I did forget how much value I added to his life … ❤
Today is 3 months NC and it's not easy. I have my good days and have my bad days. I'm just trying to be patient and tell myself to trust the process
It's been 3 months for me now, as my fiance cheated on me after 10 year relationship! It's hard, but the no contact helps a lot! Be patient, and the time gonna do it's job. I know what u mean, your feelings are like a roller coaster.... once up, once down. And u fell like u cannot control it... be strong, and just move one, step by step. Every day you get a step forward, and get a bit easier. It's like a strong magnet, the closer to the magnet is harder to move away, need more effort to make any step. But the far you get the easier.
@@hunorberei1409 🙏
It's 359 days for me 😢
@narendrabajnath so just over 5 months and she reach out wondering how I was doing saying she was having dreams about me. Guys honestly they always reach out especially if you were good to them. Which I was. When she wanted to end things I said ok and didn't fight or beg. You need to let them see if the grass is greener. Which it's probably not. I always hit the gym but now I got my diet on point, started boxing, started reading the Bible more, and started working on my track car. Guys forget about them and work on being the best Verizon of yourself. I also met a great girl at the gym and now it's going to be hard for my ex to get me back. Not sure if I even want her. I thought my ex was the one and thought we'd get married. Forget your ex if you want them back and that's what I did. Trust the process and stay in no contact. When I had bad days just sit and let it soak in but after that keep pushing Guys. God bless those struggling but know after the storm it's clears skies. God is great and has a plan for everyone but it's on his time not yours. 🙏
Did your ex ever reach out to you??
Pedestal
You should make a video about why dumpers get angry and play the victim
My ex did this. It’s because they’re so used to you allowing them to disrespect you, once you show them you have a sense of self respect they have no choice but to feel angry about it
May I reply as a dumper. Sometimes we dump to be heard
When we dont get our way we start explaining why we did that and so on
Sometimes we are trying to see if you can leave without us.
We use it as a measuring tool to see if we matter to you
No ill intents
I don't know about others
Thank you
Avoidants are pure toxic, avoid them at all cost
Omg...just happened to me last week while on vacation. He called me every name under the sun. Called it off with me because I left. Now he's playing the victim. Ignoring my calls. I'm hurting bad
@@lungilezama6448 If you wanted to feel "mattered", you should have simply realized that the person you are about to mess with, used to be YOUR person who were with you because you DID matter.
You are not the King or Queen of Neverland, and your priorities do not take the center stage in a relationship. It is always built upon mutual compromise.
Without patience and without empathy, when you go ahead and take a one sided action, you have got what is coming for you.
Life is not a Disney movie with a perfect prince and a perfect princess who have no actual jobs or responsibilities. Our ancestors realized this much better and were not glued to social media, constantly living in a world of comparisons. That is why their marriages held on stronger.
And no ill intents? Really? Sounds like no accountability to me. Hurting someone who loved you and believed in you to satisfy some insecure curiosity? That sounds like the highest level of ill intent that one can carry. Of course, when you are a person without gratefulness or empathy, that can be hard to comprehend.
The is channel and a couple others were what kept me sane after my last breakup. It’s been 5 months since the break up and about 4.5 months of no contact. This videos helped me heal, and move on. I’ve found a great girl in the last few weeks and wouldn’t even consider going back to the past.
Stay focused out there. Blue skies are ahead!
Love it man. Good luck!
Did your ex ever reach out to you???
@@archangelelmonope. Never heard from her again. And it’s completely fine. Ive moved on and met a wonderful woman. Did lots of growing and learning in the relationship world….. good luck on your relationship journey.
Coach My name is Najee. I have been watching your videos non stop for the past 4-5 days. I have struggled with self love and confidence ALL MY LIFE. IT SHOWED IN EVERY RELATIONSHIP. This relationship that drove me to your videos has been the most important one to me and my insecurities etc self doubt has showrd up in a major way. I have loved her through things that would show lack of confidence in 1 self. Not just cuz o was scared to leave I WAS SCARED TO HAVE TO BE ALONE. SUNDAY I WENT INTO NO CONTACT AND WATCHING YOU HAS IMPOWERED ME IN WAYS NOTHING HAS IN 30 YEARS IN JUST A FEW DAYS. APPRECIATE KING 💯 I PRAY NC WORKS FOE PUR RELATIONSHIP BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY ITS WORKING 4 ME AND MY LIFE
Love this video! “Hate them just a little bit “
Helps
No contact will never get an ex back and neither will begging. You just have to learn how to be alone forever. These people don't have the answers
I don't want him to come back, I just want to heal..
How long your`s since no contact?
@@hyperion752 hi👋🏻 we saw each other in October and he kept texting me time to time since. Last time, he reached 10 days ago. But I know that he doesn't changed at all.. so I'm trying to move on. I just want to say to people who's in no contact stage, your ex DEFINITELY will turn back! BUT it doesn't mean that he/she CHANGED.. unfortunately.😔 So don't get high hopes.. JUST MOVE ON with your life! 🫡🤍 Love. x 🌸
@@hyperion752 hi👋🏻 we saw each other in October. And he wanted to see me about a month ago.. but i don't want to see him because i don't think he's changed.. I just wanna say something...your ex will DEFİNİTELY turn back!..BUT it doesn't mean he/she changed.. don't get high hopes. Just take care of yourself mentally and physically 🌸💖🙏🏻
@@esmArt_ Me and my ex-GF broke up on new years eve it was so bad that my friends and her friends got involved 🙈 no contact since a week after that terrible night,i still miss her but don`t want get back together it hurts🤧💔
Honestly, that’s a great position to be in 👍
" Pedestal" thanks coach! I actually found a woman and are in the exact same situation as you described early in the vid. A mentor of mine said, "Calm down. If it's meant for you, it will be there." You just confirmed this statement. Thank you for easing my nerves!
Hang in there bro
My ex from 7 years doing the no contact we broke up around 2 months so I msg her and ask would u rather start over a new relationship or come back and talk and lets fix things? She reply I don't know. So I saw that as a red flag and block her ass I not waiting and being nobody option now I'm doing me moving forward
I just went through the same thing. In the beginning she was pursuing me. After a month I couldn't control my emotions and wanted more. But she tried to set boundaries which made me dump her. She was the most beautiful woman I was ever with. I wish i could have her back, but she made do things I'd never do and made me feel like I wasn't good enough. Because she was so beautiful. Next time I will not second guess myself. I will hit the gym and get myself into even better shape than I'm in now and I will get another woman. Thanks Coach Blac! I love the content/advise.
You reinforce what my believes are. It’s really helping me. Rumination is an issue but I have the discipline now to just keep it moving
I am over him and can see he was the wrong man in mylife. Anyway your videos helped me a lot , i watched your videos to calm down myself and by time i realised that i worth more than how he sees me . I am not his type of girl its fine , by time i understand that he cant fit in my loyal life so he has to go back to his shitty life ( from one woman to another ) . ❤️
Isint it surprising that later when we stay in no contact we realize they weren't good for us..
@@pinkydey83 i am blessed 😇
In most cases exes do NOT come back! What does that tell us? STOP trying to use no-contact as a strategy to get them back. Use it as a powerful tool to regain your stability, mindset and personal goals...THAT is the biggest prize!
I think we can argue that "come back" is subjective. I just had a breakup which is why I'm here. I will say that the majority of my exes have contacted me at least once after the breakup. The more intense ones have done so within days. So NC can help a person achieve both outcomes. But the latter should be one's focus
@@loveforall5257 ok agreed, but being contacted by an ex, and an ex coming back are two different pairs of shoes
The exes allways carne Back…
100% of my exes came back
My ex will always come back
Brother, thankyou from India.
After being in no contact for 9 months. I got breadcrumbs in mean time. But now I'm starting to move forward in my life.
I'm at peace now, even I don't like the idea of getting along with her again.
Seriously your videos helped me in that tough time. Thanks a lot.
Now it doesn't matter much if I get back together with her or not. I accept god's plan is better than anything ❤️❤️
Thankyou so much ❤
I feel like sending a voice note and crying out my eyes , my heart is so broken, it's been a month and and not even a word from him , God am I that easy to forget I saw him.this night and I feel so broken
So sorry to hear that. But you have to be strong and focus on other things. The first months are the worst but it will get better ❤
I did the exercise and it is definitely his loss 😊 thank you coach for reminding me my worth
Hi coach.. after 3 mths of no contact my ex called me at 2am..we spoke for about an hour it was a good conversation. But im still watching ur videos to make sure im making the right moves. We're suppose to meet up and hang out 😊
Careful, the 2am, 1hr long conversations, can quickly lead to cold shoulder. But perhaps it's your schedule. Happy for you. Just tread slowwwly, remember ur the prize.🎉
@@Notwithoutmyheels thank u!.. most definitely but just to let u no it's both of our schedules..we work late hours. And thanks for being concerned
Celebrating your success!!! I’m so happy for you ❤❤❤😢😢 sad for me though
@cindyphilippe8687 I figured that. Again, very happy for you. 🎉
After 3 months is it really worth it? I mean it's like she dabbled then settled. I would keep it moving
love how calm yet intelligent you are
I feel like I’m in the same scenario as you at this moment. Recently went no contact. It definitely is not a game but I know what I bring and it’s not being reciprocated. The silence will definitely reveal if it was genuinely mutual.
This clear my mind . Thank you God. and after I wrote 15 things . He did. I put my values down. Going back to his so many times. Don’t need him. I am child of God ❤and thank lots for your words . God bless you dearly.
Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it
there is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE.
this is helpful, I will look her up. I hope this works for me too, I really miss her.
Hello Coach. It’s hard to believe this chick let you slip through her hands. It’s crazy to think about. Thank you for sharing your personal stories. Love that about you. Have a great day.✨
Pedestal. Thanks coach, your advice is very grounding. I haven't had contact for 2 weeks and my attraction for him has gone down. I've been doing me and feel so good.
Same situation. I am putting myself on pedestal. It is his loss. I don't want him back.
It's no wonder why so many of you modern women are single and lonely “by choice” these days.
You ladies should always put a good man on a pedestal. Men build everything, including that electronic leash you use every minute (your phone). Respect him and try the best you can to make him happy. That's how you keep a good man.
I’ve always put my ex on a pedestal. She was the woman that decided to have my children. My daughter has autism and she still decided to have my children. I made my mistakes she made hers as a man. I feel like everything falls to your feet as it should, she’s now dating the guy that she met that night when she went out when I was watching all the kids. It’s been almost 2 months the first month. I did the contact to my demise now I’m doing no contact for a few days and it feels very powerful. I hope to get her back and I hope to make our family again, but that isn’t God I have family with my kids sooner than later
There are many people on this planet, once bbroken considered end. Meet new people, God give you wisdom from past experience and find a new experience and feel how God Love and Compassion With new relationship. Forget and forgive and move on.
I don’t want him to come back, I’ve found my happiness again, and I will only be thankful that he was in my life while it lasted
It was only for a season
Pedestal
thank you i got nice thoughts from the video, i had the same history, she was excited the first time we went out, and she had me on a pedestal but later because of my attitude and my anxiety I put her on the pedestal, later she dumped without even trying to solve things when i was really depressed and anxious just wanting her to listen me out; now i realized I'm the one who won in this situation, she showed who she really was and that im worth more than that
You learn in these situations. You get better and attract better opportunities
We had a good thing. But he wouldn't compromise. When i put my foot down and told him how it makes me feel that he says he going to work with me on something and then doesnt... im the bad guy. Everyone is devastated. All our friends and family. They said i wasn't in the wrong, and he changed a lot while we were together for the better and looked happy. He broke up with me because he can't compromise or communicate. We never yelled, screamed, or called each other names. But he said there was nothing to talk about and he isn't going to waste my time. Just wow.
I seen him 2 times since we broke up in the grocery store and he looks sad.
And when i asked so you dont love me he said i didnt say that. So i immediately started moving my stuff out and he acted mad about it. Said you dont have to get it all out now...i told him while crying you dont get to break my heart and then prolong my healing process. And i asked him to help me get my shit out.
Couple days later he said you dont have to get it all now. And i said i told you i was coming ypu didnt have to be here. When do i have to have my safe out. He said it can stay as long as you need it. Then said if your not going to stay here all your shit needs to go??? Wtf
I think if you had a real connection you still have a chance
Fuck that shit.
My SP is the 1 missing out, I know my worth and value and what I can bring to the table and if she thinks it’s time to start dating again then go try beautiful because those who come after me won’t give you what you are looking for and you’ll always be comparing !! and you’ll be saying to yourself what did I do by letting you go.
I enjoy your videos PEDESTAL 😊 thanks for bringing back to my memory how much value I did bring into his life for him and his children, he used everything about me. I’m proud of myself having almost 2 months of NO contact. 🎉
Putting myself on a PEDESTAL has been pretty rough some days.. 4 months NC.. Recently I've been thinking I should reach out to see what's up but then remember I've gotta respect myself not to do it.. my feelings are lingering from time to time.. but I feel like it's a temp check to see and maybe it'll help me move forward.. haha I most likely won't do it but.. what's your thoughts on it Coach?
Cool video , My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do I reach her?
Thank you for this valuable information, I just looked her up online. impressive
Pedestal: I think when I heard the words “ I don’t miss you” and he said he couldn’t say them back it cut me so deep as only 48 hours earlier we had had the best day ever , and he openly confessed when we were on and off he wasnt good with relationships… it’s been over a month and I expected him to call and tell me he missed me but this time … after so many times … he hasn’t yet … I fell so hard and it’s been so hard to move forward as I felt so much for him and still do, thinking of the past is hard
Pedestal. It's true we idealize the relationship. But the thing is, while I was in it, I was focusing on the GOOD parts too. The bad parts are there, not like I did not notice them. But obviously, it's no deal breaker if we are the one dumped yet long to be back. I wanted to work on them, but they were very acceptable. Sure, our pain after a breakup can be just that feeling of loss, of losing control, and all that. But sometimes, we have been with lots and see how special she was. How special what we had TOGETHER was special. And I'm surely not alone in that when we focus on the negative, enough resentment creeps up that we don't want to even be back no more! Another issue not talked about enough is how we are in a limbo during NC, in an "emotional pause". I'm currently around a few great gals. Yet I find it unfair if I started something with them and my ex did reach out and break NC. What would I do then? Having options is awesome,. Having options while hurting someone that doesn't deserve it is not.
I think I was to good and kind to my friend we never had the conversation about boundaries or expectations for becoming a couple and the first time we have a disagreement and I back up not cutoff communications she turns around and cut me all the way off. I think her pride and ego will keep her from reaching out. The argument was that if you want to date other people, it's fine, but you won't have access to me, and I won't invest in you in that way. I told her this from the beginning two months in, and she acts like it's the first time I said it, then told my brother, who introduced us. I broke up with her 3 times. How can I break up with you if we didn't have that conversation?
Pedestal... I only wants to move on but i just don't know how.. the pein is so deep and I don't seem to forget about him... if time heals i wish to be healed quickly because it's almost a month and this time around I don't think he will come back
He hurted me badly and i know he doesn't deserve me despite of my shortcoming
its been 5 months and i still feel that for some reason.
They don't come back unless they find better than you
Even if they come back, why should we take them back. Once the trust is broke, that's it.
M so confused he suddenly back off like i don't exit anymore
You think there's someone better than you? Babanamantinginmosasarilimo
you mean they do come back unless they find someone better than you, right
My ex actually reached out to me the other day after we had been in no contact for about a little over a month i didnt respond i may have made a mistake by not responding for some reason i feel like she is just testing the waters to see how serious this is but as of right now im focusing on self improvement
I used to put my ex on a pedestal when we were together. She fell out of love and we broke up 4 months ago. I'm doing no contact very well, however, I've lost hope; don't think she's coming back.
Did your ex ever reach out to you??
@@archangelelmo To ask about the dogs, yes. But that was about it. I've healed a lot since watching this video. I don't even want her back lol. It's always a win win in this situation. You either get your ex back, or you find yourself and move on. You realize a lot when you take off the rose colored glasses after the breakup.
Baby my ex came right on back and we are better friends then ever he told me he’s better person when he’s around me in which I know. I don’t care to be in a relationship with him but I feel like he finds me more attractive because of that. Also I continued to live my life while he was gone he said he was watching me.
Don’t be friends with someone who betrayed you.. it’s only a matter of time before it happens again.
Dont be friends with your ex if you want them back. It is just a way of controle for them, like you said he is watching you. It means he is stupid and doesn't want a relationship but freedom but also want you in his backpocket just in case. Dont fall for that
No such thimgs as friends with a woman if uour a straight man lol 😂
Pedestal
Coach as always thanks for your words of advice. You have definitely helped me on my journey. I watch to move forward.
Thank you so much for watching and commenting! I wish you amazing success on your journey
it's the way you act ✨
Pedestal…. Coach I have been listening to your videos for several months now. Yes no contact works my ex has come back around twice but as you stated in this video I didn’t quite practice putting myself on a pedestal so we aren’t back together. I guess I’m a slow learner the light bulb finally went on. He doesn’t deserve me lol. I don’t really have a question I just wanted to say “Thank You” for your messages.
Pedestal. She reached out 3 weeks after no contact even though she has already moved on. My aunt passed away and she reached out to tell me. She was sorry about my aunt passing and to let her know if there is anything she can do and that me and my family are in her prayers. 3 weeks ago she told me she didn’t want me anymore and that she didn’t like who I was and to move on with my life then blocked me on everything. I waited a day after Che contacted me and said. “Thank you. It’s nice to hear from you. Hope you are doing well. Then I went back into no contact. Can
Pedestal, im in no contact now been 4 days. I had started before and she kept contacting me. Anyway i messaged another girl she got mad and we broke up. I realized i messed up i didnt say anything sexual or even flirting. She kept telling me she misses me and love's me but i was putting all the effort. She was starting to fall back into old habits partying with her gf and going out. What should i do
❤Thank You Coach Blac. God bless you for Helping us through Our hard times. We have been good to these ppl and they took is for Granted....❤
Wonderful advice and what a great way to gain understanding...
Hey Coach thank you for sharing your story its encouraging to know that you have been through what some of us are going through like i said before you dont come across as anxiously attached i suppose you did some work on yourself its good to know that you were not always like this.
Pedestal! My ex saw each other for a year, I helped her move to another city. We last spoke in Oct 23’ I did what you Coach called the Hail Mary, never reached out since, don’t have each other on social media, no mutuals. When did we speak last she said she wanted to see me, but I made a promise after being disrespected, that I wouldn’t step foot in her flat and she must come to me. She stated 3 hours travel is too much on transport. I’m dating other women now, but a part of me feels business is unfinished. Thoughts and advice coach?
Pedestal.... thank you for the work you do. It helps me a lot !
Your framework works!!!!!! And fast !!!
Pedestal.
Thanks for another good one. Just over a month NC…again. Broken up for 4 months. This past month she’s been blocking and unblocking on socials multiple times. At this point I want to cave soon. Im done with the games she wants to play. I think she’s too stubborn to even attempt to reach out though. Almost feel ready for a Hail Mary.
@@BlackScreen-nb7txI completely agree with that. I know that I’m not quite there yet. At this point I find the little games laughable and sad. Unfortunately they still give me a bit of hope. I at least haven’t shown any signs of playing in to this behavior. Months ago idk if I would’ve been able to say the same. Thanks for your response!
@@romo3418 the games are signs that you still have her. Don't cave
Good video, coach, you deserve to be placed to a pedestal ;) have a nice day
What’s the difference between putting them up on a pedestal and just being a good person trying to help them… I didn’t put her needs over mine,but I definitely tried to help her. Why is this crap such a game
I always felt I wasn't in the same pedestal with my ex .
We have a 8 month old daughter, and we were the best of friends, and we were sup in love, got married, and she kicked e out and barely speaks to me. I heart broken, and I know the real her, and this is someone I don’t know. I’m afraid if I move on then she’ll be gone for good. But she’s my daughters mother, my wife. I get sad some days, thinking of my family, and wanting them, while I sleep at my office or my mothers, it’s depressing
Thank you.
I have been Basically in nc for a month but i did try to ask him to explain his actions from asking me to marry him within a weeks time he said we are done. Now wont talk or text. Stupid me cried in front of him and said I will always love you and walked away. Gave him the swell head he wanted. I will never contact him again yet have to see him everyday at work it is devastating to have had a very intimate relationship now he acts like he doesn't even know me and is angry . I did nothing but give to him. How sad
Thank you Coach Blac ,I so needed this today ❤ so grateful for your words
Thanks for watching!
How does she feel this when she’s already in a relationship. No point in waiting for her. Her loss. I’m just in pain of how she threw me away like garbage
Pedestal..Yeah I saw this video just in time. I've actually reached the point that I find myself quite tired of my ex and was about to send a message to tie up a loose end or 2. However I checked myself and accepted that it was all just an emotional response and why should I continue to feed her ego with my interest.
Pedestal. It’s tough because I work with my ex and it’s a restaurant, I broke no contact this weekend but I’m going back into it going forward and checking new opportunities elsewhere. I want her back but it will be easier to work on my mental without seeing her.
I know exactly how you feel, I also work in the same place as my ex and I have to see her almost daily, it’s very very tough and I feel I can not heal, however I know if I quit or throw in the towel, than how can I look myself in the mirror, please keep your head up! Don’t let nothing get you down! You are not alone.
@@Lincoln_707 I agree, I was thinking of quitting before the break up but this fuels it more, we’ll see how it goes
No contact is good if you want to move on, but to get your ex back? The sad truth is , whiles you are in no contact, they are sleeping around having fun, till they get rejected or get treated bad, that's when they think of going back, is not gonna be easy knowing that, they slept around and you didn't, will take some hard work to let go so, if you want your ex back then don't go no contact for too long cos they'll be sleeping around. Most of them either female or male.
Kawawa ka naman anoh
Pedestal. I'm really struggling with NC. Every single day. I am also overcome with shame and embarassment. The last time I broke NC about a month ago, I went crazy on him and sent endless paragraphs. I guess he has lost all respect he had remaining, for me. I miss him so much. 😢
Am so sorry
I’m sorry you are going through that. You have to not live in the past or in the mistakes you have made. Keep taking things one day at a time
Pedestal..it's been 1month and almost 2 months of no contact been following your videos, of late it's as tho the fear increased again I begged at the initial of the break up but after following your videos I have stopped completely and it's almost a month and I feel as tho his moved on and doesn't care been so cared ,my birthday is coming up and I feel anxious 😢
Pedestal, coach you should make a video on how to work on your inner self.
Coach , I’m the dumper ! Do you have videos regarding this matter! I have to cut her off because i wasn’t getting or having my needs meet, she was there always to take not to give or reciprocate. Thank you, I watch all your content.
It has been 10+ I don't want him to come back in my life but I still have feelings for him. Iam confused coach blac
I definitely need your advice on my situation. You are on point. Pedestal
I appreciate this video,my situation is similar 💫💫💫 pedestal 💪🏽👊🏾
Pedestal. It was a good video. I enjoyed the story of Janet, how you guys met on an app, that she was beautiful, a 15. Good vid
Dude... I totally imagine the worst psycho/anti-social behavior of my exes when down looks like up to me.
Then I think of my departed golden retriever and how the worst of him was better than the best of them 🐕
It’s been longer than we were even together yet last night I still had a random night of chills and an ugly dream she moved on, there’s been no intention of her reaching out yet she even said when we were together no one had done certain things I did for her. How do I get her off this pedestallllllll? Ive had relations w other women and have vented to friends therapy and cried yet I still miss her. I’ve reached out a couple times but made myself just look weak. I want this internal suffering to end.
Yea if your getting dumped then your like me and I promise you that will not get your ex back and no contact will not work for you.. you are probably going to be alone for a long time. You will never heal and you will always remember her.
NC is defffff not easy.. I didn't know how to unlove a man I was in love with for 17 yrs... 2 yrs NC and time has deffff been my friend.. he was nothing but heartless to me and I now c it was his loss n deffff not mine! I've also realized I can have love for him... Buttt from a distance! Tysm for ur content! It's def helped me over the yrs! ❤
Great job again. Well done, Sir🤗
Pedestal. Thank you for your videos which I’m learning a lot. I decided to do no contact as of last week and it’s going on five days. The last time I spoke to my ex he stated that he wants to go to counseling with me. This is one on one counseling not couples therapy. Should I allow him to come with me? I do realize that’s he’s very angry with me for cheating on me etc. maybe he has hope in us coming back together one day. I’m clueless
girl he was angry with you for cheating on you?????????
Pedestal your videos heals ❤ thanks
@Coach Blac- Blacademic.
I broke up with my ex back in August and we stop talking for 6 months. At the end of January she added me back and we started talking again and was working on and taking this relationship slow. But recently she started growing feelings for another guy and just wanted to be friends and I told her I wanted more than that. So I unadded her and said maybe someday we can date again and be happy. I told her to be open Abt it and she said she will and maybe. This happen a couple days ago and I put her into the no contact. What should I do to get out the friend zone with her?
*PEDESTAL*
The last message I sent to my ex was over one month ago where I said.
´I believe we still have beautiful chapters to write together but I respect what you want.´
(She declined a catch up drink)
My question is, does that give the impression that I have her on a pedestal, or does it show some self-respect as I have not contacted her since then?
Thanks Coach
Women don't like cheesy statements like that. That's like Some thing out of a movie. In real like they don't want that. The woman wants to be the woman. They don't want a guy saying things like that. But staying NC will show you are starting to respect yourself more
There’s is nothing wrong with what you said now leave it up to her but don’t wait more then a month after that!
Pedestal
Hey Coach, so when my ex broke up with me, she didnt offer friendship, but said she was open to something in the future. Does this mean anything? Havent directly reached out in 2 months but hearted one of her stories about 3 weeks ago to test the waters. Thank you 😊
Just share this song with your ex ( Faydee - Laugh till you cry ).
Pedestal! Ex of 2 1/2 years cheated on me (while living with me) back in January. We broke up and I went no contact for 1 month and reached out to find out she immediately went to this new guy and is dating. I did have a few days of "how can you do this to me" messages, etc. But then again went completely into no contact for over 2 months now. I still very much love her and would take her back provided she works on some of the things I have the past 3 months (understanding Attachment styles, emotional availability, etc - essentially all the things I feel I was responsible for the relationship ending). I feel compelled now to reach out. I have no idea what she is up to, if she is still with this guy (likely is) or what. How should I approach?
Pedestal. What if it's not clear who dumped who and you're both doing no contact?
My situation
my ex followed me in instagram in January, and she also texted me, she told me to text her when I will go to Germany, and that we will be closer and better she said. I don't know what to think, she always watches what I post, but I don't see anything, because I didn't followed her back
He is a CEO with a PhD , scientist and professor he set my bar very high. I am heartbroken please help me
Ahhh I know that feeling...look into the golden shadow...it might shed light on why that is the bar you have chosen.
@@Growwithgrace101author name please
Such an important video! Such an important video!
PEDESTAL: Coach I Just Love You And Your Content So Can you Start Doing Videos On How To Keep Your Relationship? 🥰
Thanks for the feed back. I absolutely will. Stay tuned in the coming months you will see more videos like this
Hy Blac, I've benn watching now your channel for couple of mouths, and really helped me a lot! Literally I'm going to sleep with your videos, as right now I'm going through a hard period of my life. This is the 3 months that my fiance just cheated on me and dating with an other guy! The thing what's make mor difficult the situation, is the fact that we are still leaving together! So ai literally know when she's stay outside longer as I know when she supposed to finish with the work, and so one. Simple makes way harder when u are still leaving together. Now I would have 2 questions to you. First of all probably I haven't see all all of your videos, but I seen a lot, and all of them are great and helpful. However I miss a video about how you treat your ex if u are still leaving together in the same accommodation, same house. Because let's be honest, could happen that u need to say with your ex at least for a while, even for a year in the same house, for many reasons. So how could u treat? How to talk, how often to talk, what especially think to talk with them. What is a nice gesture to do for her, and what is too much, and look like u are too kind, which Is not good. For example u have the same car, but she doesn't have driving license, you can go to sopping, but what about a day off when she has a day off as well? And she would like to go to shopping with u... you should act her like a stranger? Act like u are busy and u have nothing to do in the shop right now, so u are not willing to go out with her? And things like that... as obviously when u are still leaving together the no contact is became kind of limited no contact. But what is that limit? For example she's watching a movie in the leaving room, can I join to her but don't talk just watch? Or I need to escape and go up to my room and act as I'm busy and have no time for watching movies with her? So if u would be so kind to make a video even about this situation I would highly appreciate that, and I'm sure even many of us. Thanks indeed again and highly appreciated your hard work. It's mean a lot!
I put myself back on the pedestal 😅❤
Nice outfit coach blac 🎉 you're awesome 👌
The 27th will be a month of no contact. I really dont think he's coming back. I might gave been a rebound girl not knowing. His ex popped back up and he got confused and distant. He said he needed time because his health was going down. He said to both of us and the other lady that he wanted to be alone to address his health issues. Coach do I call to check on him and his health?