15 Ways Intelligent People Deal With Difficult and Toxic People
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- Опубліковано 26 чер 2024
- Here are some clever ways intelligent people deal with difficult and toxic people. Toxic people seem to thrive on drama. Many of them derive satisfaction from creating chaos everywhere they go. While others are completely unaware of the negative impact they have on those around them.
As annoying as it is, dealing with toxic people is something we just have to confront from time to time. It can be tempting to give toxic people the same treatment they give to others, but of course, that never works. That’s why it’s imperative to understand the psychology behind toxic behavior. It’s also important to realize that toxic behavior directed at you doesn’t always contain ill-intentions, anger, or resentment.
One of the best ways to deal with difficult people is to use techniques that are commonly practiced by intelligent people. Yes, toxic people create drama and chaos. But, you don’t have to let them ruin your day, or your life. Practicing the techniques outlined in this video will allow you to handle difficult people more effectively.
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The worst thing is when the members of your close family are toxic.
Ana Hata .... ohhhh I know !
Mhm hmm
So true. I had a toxic family member get mad at me over basically nothing and they expressed their anger to me in an extremely rude/mean way through a text message. When I tried to call them to discuss it, they never called me back. I didn't speak to them for year, until they called me to tell me how mean and rude someone was to them.
Imagine having someone who treated you poorly call you to talk about how poorly someone treated them, NOT EVEN ACKNOWLEDGING WHAT THEY DID TO YOU! This toxic person is trying to squeeze their way back into my life and I don't want to talk to them. I don't mind speaking to them a few times a year briefly, but no more than that. I don't know what to do!
Try both parents lol, luckily my Dad was cool but my mum and step dad both have serious issues so I just avoid for the most part.
I so agree!
Toxic people can make you toxic too.
Best to avoid them when you can.
That is sooo true. Prevention (from becoming toxic) is better than cure
Vince D'Souza SO SO TRUE!
I've seen that with a couple of co-workers.
True
I had this guy at work, I worked hard and he did everything to hurt me and make me sad' he told my boss to fire me, and I ended up being toxic. now, year after, I feel free, I apologized myself for my behavior even if they didn't. and have moved on.
-Establish boundaries
-Ignore them
-Dont share secrets with them
What if THEY ALMOST ALWAYS ignore your boundary lines ?? What if THEY continually harass when you ignore them ??? How do you defend yourself ???
To deal with toxic people. I have learned to NOT take things personally ; to always think that whatever the other person says or does - good or bad - is a reflection of themselves and has nothing to do about you.
AMEN to that
Found a man for your daughters at the church ha ha !!!
Great idea….I like it!
The book The Four Agreements is excellent on this ❤
Definitely
Surrounded by toxic people can lead to anxiety and depression on long run, especially when u are a sensitive person
I hope I don't fall prey
@@wangechimwiyeria9423 put your focus on somewhere positive, good luck 🍀 asap
Don’t waste time being in a negative mood because of those people
I agree. I have been targeted by a toxic person I live near, and it's really affected my happiness. I've actually been borderline depressed for the better part of a year now, and with all that has happened this year it's like fuel to the fire. She lives for the chaos and thrives on the bad news that's on tv everyday. It's a downward spiral that's hard to get out of.
I wanna get out of this house....... It's not my home..... It's hell
If i have enough ability to get out of this house and make a new life and own family far with them i will do it anytime i want. such Devils wearing like an angels.
I’d rather have no friends for the rest of my life than with toxic ppl
that's so true
Like wise . ...stay away from toxic folks for resl ...i wish you gpod luck on your journey ...thanks .....
You look cute tho
So true!
Same here.
1) emotionally disengaged from them
2) minimum conversation
3) ignore them
HOW do you defend yourself especially if the person refuses to take NO for an answer ????
I have learned that when family member(s) are toxic, always make me feel bad, I put myself first to maintain my dignity and sanity. I don't retaliate yet I keep my distance as much as possible. If they call every now and then I am cordial but soon as they start gossips, insults, becoming negative, etc., I end the conversation quickly.
Stay away from anyone who can't say anything nice about anyone. Just stay away from them.
Toxic people can a DO definitely say nice things about people if it fits it's agenda. The video covers that too.
The worst is when someone bad talks other people to you constantly. Like everyday. I knew a couple people who do this, and no matter how many times I asked them to stop, they weren't able to. It makes you feel disgusting when they speak like that to you.
Everyone is negative stupid. Even your comment is negative. You're a dumb chick.
Joe Smartballs you're just being toxic..
some people are weak and that won't solve the problem(basically passing the bomb to someone else)
The worst thing is not being alone, the worst thing is being in company and feeling lonely.
👍🏼
that's what Marilyn Monroe says "it's a terrible thing to be lonesome, especially in the middle of a crowd."
@@hiphopdanceeliana8659 Wasn't he also the same guy who disrespected God and tore out pages of the Bible at his live concerts?
@@craigj.davies1983 I think you're thinking of Marilyn Manson, Marilyn Monroe was a beautiful American actress, who was also a major sex symbol during the 50's - 60's.
She had a rough childhood, had a mentally ill mom and others that would abuse her. Marilyn herself had been dealing with mental issues before her passing. She died of an overdose, some would even say she died from loneliness and emptiness.
@@raffed2291 I know about Marilyn Monroe, although I've heard from conspiracy theories that she was murdered by the F.B.I because she apparently was having an affair with J.F.K, but what's her sad story got to with my status? And I wasn't thinking of Marilyn Manson, I wasn't thinking of anyone, that was a quote that I came up with.
I agree with this video 100%! Toxic people cause drama and chaos. That's why I keep my social circle VERY small now and I'm much happier!
So do I😊
Someone once told me "A bully is actually a coward" and it was some of the best advice that ever helped me, I wrote it on a piece of paper and put it in my pocket- used it to stand up to them and then there came the day that I didn't need it anymore!
My father told me the same thing . He was right . I am not s coward and my father was not a coward . But, bullies are and they are not worth bothering about.
@@spmoran4703 You Are Wise~ and Strong, Kindest Regards to You & Family
Anyone who gossips with you will definitely gossip about you🤷🏾♀️
I can relate to that. When I was in 4th grade 👁👄👁✌
YUP, THAT HAPPENED TO ME... regrets-
Yes including me it’s bad
Quoting the Buddha🤗
Gossip can't effect you if it isn't true, and if you are unbothered. They can't rattle a cage that isn't there.
Toxic people are miserable, lonely, have low self-esteem and do not love themselves. PERIOD. Its never about you!!! They just want to be you
@Henry Louie so true!!
Love your post !
Just pray for him/her and keep your distance.🙏🏾
So true..my mother was toxic..she jealous of me because my father love me more then her and she make me fighting with her so my father thinks lm bad and don’t love me anymore..she also jealous of my beauty.
@@angelliew194 i can relate. I have a toxic mother too. I do not talk to her. She has 3 kids, and she only abused me. She's jealous of my light.
This kind of stuff needs to be taught in schools. Knowledge is power. I had no clue my ex was a gaslighting narcissistic psychopath. Life skills!
I agree. Sometimes I wonder if they don't teach it in schools because they themselves are toxic and don't want to be exposed. So they hide with silence and only teach safer subjects.
We have to incorporate these life skills early on if we want to see a change in this world.
So many spend their lives trying to figure out what is wrong wasting valuable potential the world needs to move us forward.
Definitely needs to be taught in schools. Totally agree.
One of my coworkers from years ago was an extremely arrogant queer person , and a narsasist as well
Had no clue my ex was gas lighting and setting out to destroy my life and turn everyone Against me and even get by with trying to kill me ,I want away from everyone and this state
I have toxic relatives in my immediate and extended families. I do my best to keep physical, emotional, and spiritual distance. My inner peace and my spirit deserve to be in equilibrium. 🥰🙌🏾🙏🏾🎯❤️
Very wise. I have a toxic siblingvwho tried to poison my bond with other family members. In the end, I dumped her and told the others why. Finally, they accepted this. I am liberated!
I hate when they act nice the first time we meet and when I get close too them they slowly start to show their real selves!
_ whenthestarsaregone _ yes!
It always works that way, time will tell. Notice carefully, sometimes what you consider 'friends' are not 'real friends'. Been there for much too often.
Yep that's what they're good at
Your gotta chose wisely next time whom to intertain in your circle.... Run 🏃 for life before they suck your energy etc.... Cut those toxic off it's good for your sanity , dignity , integrity, and over all you well being be warned !!! Bless be with you and everypne that existed in this universe....
I have a toxic friend who started being really rude to me when we got close
Bullying isn't just them thinking someone else is weak. Most of the times it's because they see your potential and they just don't want it to exist.
!!!!!!!!
PERIOD! 💯🙌
That I believe.
True!
Heh True enough
I will simply disengage with toxic people. They drain my energy. Leaving them makes me live at peace, I won't allow them ruin my peace
Same💪🏾
Good advice! I deal with them by being direct and I've many times said, "I'm not getting involved in your drama because I don't have the time".
I’d rather be alone than in bad company
me too
I thought it,you wrote it!
Great minds think alike
J P . That’s my saying lol 😂 true though. Having been both !!!
Amen.
@JOHANNES NORSE no thats called staying out of problems
arguing with a fool only proves there are two
THAT'S sometimes TRUE😆😅😂🤣😭😁😘🤪
(Maybe) marry me
Love an intellectual .
Who knows
Maybe you'll be invited to my private island.
TRUE, DON'T ARGUE,CUT EM OFF
I'm arguing with you. Haha just kidding xD
Truly: this sentence is so empowering, in my opinion. Don't argue, just go away and/or group with empathic people. There are plenty of good folks, even in 2020. Don't listen to nawsayers, stand firmly in silence in front of scapegoaters so they can echo to themselves their own insecurities and mistakes.
*I think my lover is going to abandon me*
*I think my business will go wrong*
*I think my friend will gossip about me*
This baseless imagination turns on the switch of your anxiety. In this state, a logical approach is meaningless. If you can't calm down this anxiety, your imagination already becomes a reality. That is why you get anxious and impatient
*search youtube "paradox of I can do it"*
I have been dealing with toxic people and decided not to respond to the things that they do and little by little they started leaving me alone. I have been ignoring their texts and calls and I have been having more peace. When I see them I just smile and wave and keep going wherever I am headed to. I feel so much better. I've realized how much of a distraction they have been and I am able to focus more on myself and my children.
I refuse to put up with people who are too difficult. I have my own problems and it don't tolerate rude or crappy behavior
Same, hope you are doing well a year later.
if they can't understand that we got our stuff as well then nope
i mean really
💪🏾💯
toxic people will take your kindness… For weakness… Protect yourself from toxic people… 🚫 Let go of what no longer serves you!!
Anita Carter I cannot believe you wrote this, people take kindness for weakness! Someone close to me is taking advantage by being mean. This is so true!
They sure will. I dealt with this for over two decades with the same people largely because they were my in laws. Religious people say to turn the other cheek. NO! move on.
I always say, "Do not mistake my kindness as a weakness; my niceness as stupidity; nor my silence as naivete. You will be unpleasantly surprised." Also, as I enter into a new phase of life (I am 58) and I have to clear out closets and get rid of things that remind me of the past, I say, "I easily get rid of what no longer serves me." So, thank you for being on the same page and posting your comment. I makes me feel validated ... and I hope I validated you in return.
@@lindabyrne5692 I will be 57 in January. Now, I have to recreate my new self, and that will take time, but a great adventure.
I believe in mending things and people around me. Don't let go of things and people easily especially when they are very close to you. First try all your possible honest ways to make that person understand your feelings. Even the Bible says that we must not give up and old friend because a new one can never equal him/her.If you really can't tolerate anymore, distance yourself from that person. The distance will make the heart fonder and so there are pretty good chances of winning that person back.The same the Bible says about a husband and wife relationship. I don't believe in divorce. Because, the person God had destined for me I got and so I have to use the best of my wits to make my marriage a success.By using persuasion, expressing my feelings of sadness regarding the person's behaviour towards me but I will never leave my husband for a small thing because I too am at fault sometimes and he tolerates me.The first husband /wife will never be able to be replaced by anyone else. It's always easy to break but very difficult to reunite . We all can preserve our relationships especially of marriage by working honestly for it and definitely by asking God's grace. Because, God can do the impossible.
Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
EDIT: All the world's problems stem from the same issue. Idiots always think that they're correct and wise always doubt themselves.
Zero why have I heard this somewhere else before
I Think Mark Twain Said That However Don't Quote Me. .
spot on, i find laughing helps, which tends to get them angry, which makes me laugh even more, beat them with a smile...watch them squirm
Zero 🔥absolutely brilliant advice!!! Hard to shut off tho !! God I’m trying sooooooo hard !!!!
GozioG it’s sound advice that
Avoid them at all costs! Thanks for this Great Time up!
My daughter blames me for her childhood. She is in her fifties yet she still has these rages and continues to attack me for something long ago and which I can do nothing about. I told her that I did the best I could and tried very hard to be a good parent that I am sorry if I did anything to hurt her. She threatens me with reporting me to the state when there is nothing to report. She wants to control my life and I will not let her. I thought she would change but she is still doing this so I have to distance myself from her and set boundaries for my mental health. I hope she doesn't hurt my granddaughter and her child with her toxic way. Thank you so much for your video.
It's been my experience that completely cutting a toxic person out of your life is the best thing you can do. They are are nothing but a cancer for your soul.
🙌
Truth be spoked
YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. A FAMILY MEMBER OR NOT.
💯
It’s so hard when you live with one
What I learned is Happiest people don't have the best of everything they just make the best of everything ♡
Very knowledgeable nice 👌 God bless you 🙏❤
Facts
And they kill toxic people with kindness
I Love and agree with "Stuti's Flairs "!!🤗💖🌹
❤❤❤❤❤
I’ve found that setting healthy, sometimes very firm boundaries is very effective in dealing with negative people. The root cause of their toxicity could manifest itself in any number of ways, but staying away from them as much as humanly possible helps. Even when avoidance isn’t an option, it’s good to develop a way to ghost these types of people. I just mentally check out on them. Even though my body has to be there in that moment, my mind doesn’t.
I realized today I tuned someone toxic completely out amazing 😅
I am in a toxic relationship right now, and i am getting tired of it and the unneeded and unneccesaary drama! This video really helped me thanks
Take care.
Wish you the best. Hope you are doing well now.
Get out and surround your life with people who really love you, respect you and life you up. you deserve to be happy and healthy..
Never tell anyone your dreams or aspirations, unless you don't want them to come true.Because people will shoot you down and it's usually the people your closest to!
Truth spoken sometimes even the family want to keep you down for no reason.
Change your people.
& commit to daily self-care...finding your purpose, knowing your worth & not looking to others for acceptance approval or validation makes you unshakeable to the toxic person. & then they'll usually weed themselves out.
Also, boundaries boundaries boundaries....discover them, define them & defend them♡
Usually if you’re strong enough in your convictions on plans you have nothing or no one can stop your dreams…only you can stop your dreams whether you have toxic people around or not when you know who you are you have nothing to worry about!
You are so right... if only i have control of being very expressive , i could have lived in my mostly dreamed situation..
yes never tell your secrets to toxic people suppose if the dreams does not come true they will
taunt you and let you down our every action should be prompt
someone told me I was ugly and I responded with "thanks, you look great today!" the look of regret on her face was priceless lmao
Great reply! You are not ugly. You look great.
when ever you talk observe judge then you proceed talking if you find them problemetic terminate them
That's cool😎
Lol 😂
Youre cool
Toxicity has many faces. Often toxic people may not be upfront, instead they are the passive aggressive ones. They want to give the illusion that they are calm and cool, yet they go out of their way to make issues out of simple situations. They make snide remarks and do everything in their power try to disprove you or purposely do the opposite of what is needed. The apathy ..!!!
I can almost respect someone more that is a full on jerk....because it is real. It's the phony ones/ two faced people that are exhausting
I know someone that fits almost all of these. I don’t talk to them anymore and I feel great about it.
Toxic people see manners as a weakness
That's because toxic people have problems within themselves and are either unable or refuse to take responsibility for their own thoughts and behaviors. Having manners is a sign of strength. It's easy to be rude, but it's so much harder to be nice to people; especially, if said people are toxic. To summarize, keep having good manners because usually toxic people are people, who are hurting emotionally.
Joseph Watkinson I absolutely agree .... respect them and treat them with etiquette and in return they will consider you weak !!
I agree
They'll take anything they can for granted even others manners.
I completely agree, your comment holds a mirror up to the world we live in today. Sadly, people have no consideration for anyone else's needs or feelings and the days of common courtesy and basic manners are long gone, we have this and our previous generation of parents who believe that children and even grownups must be free spirited, what a load of.....!
Bless you bro. You heard my heart
Very hard to find loyal friends. I'd rather to be alone in my life
There's a lot of fakers and snowflakes out there who only thinks "Me Me Me." Screw them.
This is what i always do
OMG! No! You need friends to vent! My friendship is free. Loyalty and Trust will cost a few years of good friendship. True friends only ask for emotional support.
I think you are toxic, Chloe Smith.
@@ninjanerdstudent6937 your wrong I'm not a toxic, if you know how bad experience I been through from the user friends, stabbing behind you? I wish you could stand it to still loving them!
Saying, NO to an invitation from one kinda toxic person in my life made a huge impact between us. I am certain it made her realize something went wrong. Setting boundaries is quite effective. Life is not short, its actually long, only if you know how to use it.
Boundaries, they work if you set them in place. and follow through. The only way it will keep your own mental health strong.
Working with someone who is extremely toxic has been very draining for me. But this has helped me to much. Everything thing listed this person does. This is definitely helping me handle this properly.
"Great spirits often encounter violent opposition from mediocre minds."
Albert Einstein
So true
Nice
This quote hits different
Jaymz Gaetz
I got bullied by a stranger on UA-cam cause I typed a reply he assumed I am something I am not then attacks my UA-cam channel
Oh! You've met my brother-in-law?
Toxic people complain about everything but do Nothing to help the situation!
It's possible that they're trying to ask for help & don't realize it sounds like complaining. It's also very likely that they aren't doing anything to help the situation because they don't know what to do, so they are asking for help in a clumsy way. Maybe you give them suggestions/ideas/possible solutions & they don't take any action. People who are really struggling or have been struggling for a long time need more than thoughts, they need real, practical, hands on help. They're probably too exhausted to take action.
@@greenbird777 that's how they use your empathy.
@@sheepketchup9059 : This is just my thoughts on the subject - I'm not trying to change anyone's mind. To me, the act of cutting family members & close friends out of my life needs careful thought.There are other reasons people become grouchy, weepy, needy, sarcastic, nosy, etc.
For 6 months I gripped every day to my husband that his boss should be paying him more - I was angry that they weren't valuing him highly enough. What my husband was hearing was, "Make more money! You're being weak, not standing up for yourself!". We worked it out: he realized that's not what I was saying, & I realized coming home every day to an angry wife would be hard to take.
There are a lot more examples, but I hope you get the drift. I've know MANY true narcissists, & suffered from their twisted "games". There's never any excuse for narcissistic behavior, & no contact is the healthiest option if it's possible. I guess I'm saying make sure you're protecting yourself from harm, not abandoning someone who's maybe hard to be around for while but still really needs help.
Sorry this is so long, it's really late... :)
green bird at the end of the day you need to put your mental well-being first. If someone is sapping all the energy out of you and always makes a discussion turn to argument somehow and doesn’t even make you happy to be around! Why would you stay around with them?
Their usually control freaks
This video struck a lot of nerves. Mainly because I am a toxic person and the truth hurts. I'm looking to change for the better. I can't undo the hurt I've done to others but at least I'm facing the right direction. Going to take this one day at a time.
Did you change? Shows youre a brave person willing to change and be gonest with yourself 😊
Create some boundaries and assert yourself. Life is too short to deal with energy that isn't complimentary.
The worst thing is to find yourself in a toxic relationship because it saps all your energy.
juliet gardiner BINGO
Narcissist do that
Spah sappin mah energy
Exactly 👍
I was married to one and had to get out while both my children were under 4 yrs old. I got them in nursery and got to college and also got an interim interdict to get him out of the house. my life was in danger. that's how toxic he was.x
I had a best friend who was toxic for years and I didn’t even realise for so long their behaviour want normal. I distanced myself last year and it was honestly the best decision I ever made
Isabella Perini female?
How ? I need help
Tagging my rich kid w attitude best friend syrhene descalso she bullied me for 4 years and saying that I am the toxic between us hahahahaha
Don't be in their company/friendship/relationship break it ASAP and get away from toxic people even from social media or social gatherings, if you can't avoid them sit at the far end of the table.... Otherwise it will be hard n harder to get away from them
Im trying to cut off someone whose so toxic for me but the thing is she's my cousin so i cant even do anything. A few days ago I confronted her and told her i needed space.. and she came mine yesterday. Do you have any advice?
Remember that toxic means "poison." Imo, its easier to avoid, disengage, cut them out of your life. Then you can enjoy life and enjoy the decent people, who aren't critical and negative 24/7.
Just ended a 4 year relationship with a very toxic woman, she couldn't control herself, from the moment she got up, couldn't go anywhere without her bad mouthing everyone, Lived for drama, tried to help her get over her past troubles but she played on it was very negative to everybody and everything I said
Cutting connection to my toxic best friend is the best thing I did in my life. No more anxiety just peace of mind ❤️
I did the same.
Same thing, same situation. I thank myself for it every day.
I'm working on that now
I did the same
Former roommate was such a pain
When it comes to friends, focus on quality not quantity!
Yes
5:28 when it comes to noses focus on quality not quantity as well.
Definitely!
Absolutely!! Well said! 💪🏻👍🏻✌️❤️
@@bradford_shaun_murray lol
Truly I can’t handle toxic people; they handle me. I cry. . I needed this video. I’m sure I won’t immediately be able to handle them but perhaps if I watch this many times I will.
When a toxic person says something negative, I say something positive in return.
Then they continue to fuck you down! Even if they do not say anything directly to you. They think about something shitty to say to you until next time they meet you! Because in their world of ego self centered negativism,has been the normal for so long time so It will be hard to their brains to cope with positive outlook.
@@Ronnymikkonen2686 💯 PERCENT FACTS!
Even tho its hard, I've been trying to deal with and teach the toxic person mew traits, only because I see better for this person and they ate actually changing!
Oh my word they hate it, I do this and it absolutely destroyed them
That's a good idea
Move away, block and delete them on social media and email and keep 'being you'. I was involved with a narcissist and the relationship was so fake and I just walked away. Don't stick around these fools, walk away and watch your life improve each day.
What if they abuse your privacy and they make fun about you with their whores.
Indeed💯
Indeed💯
My Boss, I never met a person who had to be in complete control of everything that goes on in a skilled labor environment...from 3 states away. Constant calls everyday for 3 years until I couldn't get anything done because he always had something to say. I second guessed myself at every turn. Then I found another job. No point in trying to save a sinking ship.
I deal with toxic people by first understanding the vibration I emitted that attracted a toxic person. I ask myself questions and hold myself accountable in answering. I ask myself “did I subconsciously attract a toxic person to reaffirm the emotion of shame that developed in early childhood?” I remind myself that most people’s actions and reactions to their environment are repeated negative emotions of shame, guilt, unworthiness or judgement. I remind myself that toxic people are people that are suffering, and it’s best to not feed into their negative emotion by not reacting, but just observe the body language and the real message they are indirectly screaming out. Toxic people need more love, healthy love in efforts to influence self love. Understanding when one is toxic to others they are toxic to themselves as well. And just like it when one is truly practicing self love they are propelled to love others through solution-based communication, patience, compassion, empathy, understanding, and encouragement.
It becomes easier to not internalize or be affected by toxic people when you place more emphasis on why that person is toxic with the understanding that it’s not personal; if it wasn’t you it would be another person so long as they reaffirm their emotion of judgement, disorder or victimization. Emotions are addictive. Toxic people are clear cases of unhealed trauma. Those negative emotions are usually developed in early childhood. If that person is 40 years old, they are so conditioned to that personality that changing is unlikely because it’s daily, all day everyday work to change years long repetitive thoughts, feelings and actions. It’s also an unfamiliar feeling. And to eject an emotion that feels so familiar no matter how much they didn’t like that feeling, it’s so much easier to find comfort in that discomfort than to change the way they think.
So yeah look deeper.
I needed this! I work in close proximity with a toxic person... because of the geography I always made an effort to get along with them, because I thought it was the easy way out. That was before our Covid shutdown. Now they have finally returned to the workplace and I have been back already for over a year, putting in the hours, so I'm not in the mood anymore to accommodate their mentality. I am not even going to push back, I'm just going to be polite and scarce. I remember the saying: Aikido - If you have to fight you've already lost. And thanks for reminding me that we all have a right to be happy.
A Toxic person will most always cloak an insult in a joke or pass it as a compliment. That is how they display their envy and jealousy of the person they target.
Not always. Some are downright direct and call you out as being a 'fat b**h' or some other emotional abuse. It's not always subtle, just hurtful.
My mom does that. She will say some snide smart ass remark to people then do a little half laugh after trying to play it off. Usually it was my sister in law and now my brothers girlfriend.
Backhanded compliments, praises with a hint of snide.
So True!!! Every time my Father and his family would get together, they would always make me the butt of their jokes, at first I truly thought it was just fun and games, but then I realized I had all the control to remove my self from that toxic environment!!!
@@PotterSpurn1 or Fat, Funky Bitch!!! Read the book Toxic Parents!!!!
This is on point! Thank you so much for posting. The way I deal with toxic people is by reminding myself that they do not: (1) pay my bills, (2) put food on my table, (3) go home with me, (4) hold the keys to my future. They are miserable because they have no life to go to.
What if the toxic people are the omes paying for ur bills and expenses?
How wud u handle that and how to avid them?
@@ss1075 i read that you have to find whatever they are providing you, (money, love, help, etc) and then, cut contact with them
Very good point.
@@ss1075 I would go on the street and I would definitely not allow anyone to pay my bills unless I worked for it! Nobody owns me
Life is miserable for toxic people🥥🌷🍃🇯🇲😍🐮🥕🏚️
You simply leave them behind and move on. It is better to be alone, than wish you were!
remove toxic people inside and out of your life, reach your goal. we all deserve peace.
Insecurities are loud,confidences are silent.
That's a Great motto!!!
You have to maintain a "no contact" policy with toxic people.
toneman335 NO CONTACT MEANS NONE !! Zero
But the problem is I have to work with them every single day & that's tough. Being silent (talk only if necessary) doesn't help either, since they think I'm weak & start to crank me up, bend & manipulate me. Of course, cutting them off is the best way, but I don't see it's possible while I'm still depending on the job. I'll start to run my own business after having enough money, so I won't have anything to do with them anymore.
But it's not always that easy, especially when the toxic person is your 'best friend'
They will do politics
toneman335 -I wrote about my nextdoor neighbor. Asked me for a lot of things I complied. Needed help I was there. But so toxic started saying things to me, took it and took it. I told her sorry no more. Now it's to a point where she wrote in our newspaper she felt no security because of a neighbor and needed to see a lawyer. So now she is so scared of me because I have started to live my life without doing things for her and now she doesn't know what I am doing and became scared of me. What she wants is control and very much attention. She's got neighbors watching me, following me to make sure I don't attack. 🤣
Thank you so much. I am surrounded by too many of this kind in my working place. They really have a way of destroying others' peace and happiness.
I gotta deal with toxic people everyday at school, society, and work place and neighborhood. Thanks for the heads up. Much appreciated. Have a good day, sir!
Confront them and they will say you are imagining things when you know that they did it
lee curtis . Hooray someone who thinks as me !! That’s why they hate challenges... my sister instantly says to me “oh you live in the past and imagine you are a victim ‘!! Hmmm, Patronising bitch ! And I told her so . Then blocked her ... cuz, there’s no arguing with a narcissists
@@lifeslessons9889 -OMG! When I confronted my sister about her extremely rude/mean text message, she acted like she didn't even remember anything and said she doesn't live in the past. It's crazy how people develop convenient amnesia!
Life’s lessons Does anyone else have a sister who is a golden child and was never wrong in your mothers eyes while you were always wrong when it came to an argument or fight with them. After 33 years my mom and her still can’t name one situation were I was right and she was wrong. I think I almost lost my mind for a minute and believed them. Thank God I snapped out of it.
Isn't that called "gaslighting"?
@@Aeonized exactly what it is!
I can't believe that I was once that toxic person, it's so sad and I am so happy that I am not that type of person anymore, I'm so glad that I have changed.
Being depressed changes people a lot
Yup depression is a very real, very serious prob. I have BiPolar Disorder Type 1-my mother & I wrote a book from patient & parent’s/caregiver’s perspectives.
Yea , sure
BFloraWolf 87 Idk who you are, but you described my time in high school to a tee. Small world
I’m glad I’m not alone in this. I started to become like the people I dislike the most and now I’ve started improving myself so I can be the version of myself that makes me happy and makes the lifes around me better as well. I can’t wait to heal.
BFloraWolf 87 q
Thank you for these suggestions. I'm so exhausted by dealing with the many toxic people in my life, including family members. I'm so tired of feeling used and abused that I've just been keeping to myself. Sometimes I am lonely but I feel really let down by people. Thanks for the video, it was informative.
I think I became a sponge for these people because of my low self esteem from having a Narcisstic Mother and having a Father who abandoned me.
"a sponge for these people".
I really feel you. I feel like I'm also in . sometimes my parents. But most of the times It's the people from school. I really feel like they steals the sunlight in me. THIEF. I'm more concious than before. Guards are so down than before, more sensitive to what others have to say.
I really told you cause I feel that you're gonna understand me. The way I'm understanding you
🙏🏽
This video is the best thing I've come across in a long while. I needed this so bad right at this moment. Thanks a ton for the amazing advices❤️
Toxic people are frustrated, jealous and always unhappy. Run and run fast from them.
Manjula True that’s exactly my boyfriend sister
My daughter!
I think intelligent people avoid anything that gets in the way of their success, Including difficult and toxic people.
"@Spurious Flatus.👍🏿😲😃😯😗😮🙂🙃😉😎👍🏿."
I KNOW A LOT ABOUT SCIENCE,BUT FIND IT VERY DIFFICULT TO WEIGH OTHERS UP AND FIND OUT THEY ARE TOXIC....MUCH LATER.I AM A BAD JUDGE OF CHARACTER. ANY IDEAS? NEVER BEEN STREETWISE....
@Spurious Flatus SORRY MATE.I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN FAIRLY RECLUSIVE.I EDUCATE MYSELF AT HOME,EVEN THOUGH I AM ALMOST 60.LOL.OLD SCHOOL.SON TAUGHT ME HOW 2 USE INTERNET.YES.I HAVE WORKED FOR MANY YEARS B4 BECOMIONG ILL..THE GOSSIP IN MOST PLACES AND IN TOWN? NOOOOOOOO. A SUMMER MEADOW ANYTIME FOR ME.BLESS YA .
yet those toxic people think youre weak by avoiding them, they think they won the game.
@@katelala23 fo that reason please don t be quiet, tell him all in his fukin face
Omg after experiencing and cutting off toxic relationship, I am now more aware of how I will act, especially when I know that someone is toxic. And all thr things you've said in this video is that I did unconsciously when dealing with toxic people. And I am happy now that I've found my real friends.
Two of my brothers been relying on me to give them thousands over the past four years. Never once have either taken me to lunch or even a cup of coffee. Last month I finally said, " This is it" no more " and stopped answering the phone if I saw their name's. As they realized I wasn't a Trust Company or a " Drive Up Bank Teller " The calls stopped and I knew in my heart of hearts just because we have the same parents doesn't mean, " Family First" and guilt me into constantly giving in. I am my own person at the end of the day.. Maybe someone out there in You Tube land has felt , taken advantage of. but it is when we draw the line that we can heal,
One thing they failed to mention is that after all these ideas and techniques fail, you simply need to cut toxic people out of your life.....for good. They are like a cancer or a fungus that will overtake you if you let them. Cut your losses and walk away. Go...it’s the only way to avoid their evil.
what id its hard to cut them off..? and by cutting them off they will only create more drama and make it even worse.
I thought ignoring them was listed. Isn't that what cutting them off would be?
@@yusur1929 If they cause more drama for you it means you don't know how to cut them off. No contact means they're someone else's problem and no yours.
easier said than done...and not very realistic.
what works better are the tips in this video and getting good at it..
Mason Kissel what if they are your husband and coworker?
I had a toxic friend for 3 years. She was so toxic that the majority people of our college hated her but I decided to give her a chance since I didn't want to be judgemental without interacting with her. She wasted 3 years of my life. Thankfully last year we had a fight and then I decided it was the right time to distance myself from her. I stopped talking to her and blocked her from everywhere. Honestly I feel so free and positive after that.
I befriended someone like that before and it was a big mistake.
Im happy for you! 😊
Same here but am done ✅ now I think they could be described as narcissist
Who knows she may be in some kind of pain, it is always good to understand the source
@@kynathomas4809 google "Social proofing" other people probably saw right through them before you.
It's worst when it comes from people that should protect ur interest the most. My mom has been a thorn in my flesh eight from childhood, I grew up feeling unworthy of anything good. Luckily enough, I had to take refuge in motivational speeches to keep my sanity
Just knowing there's people out there in a similar situation as I am, makes me feel better..
basically, avoid people with sociopathic tendencies.
Most people that are your family and friends are like this,that's why being alone sometimes really is very beneficial to your mental health.
This is well researched, well organized & makes sense. It helped pull observations I've made - of myself & others, into focus. And I appreciate the way I felt context add to form, like building some more structure & places to put ideas.
It's helping me form a map of how humans work, so it's amazingly useful. Where have you been all my life? I'm going to keep this tab open, & re-watch it during commercials.
I helped my relatives stay in my house. I didn’t really know them well but because my brother asked me to help them… my nieces… When they became comfortable with me they started showing attitude, disrespect and became rude after I told them the house rules. They joined force with my other relatives who hate me. It’s a chaos! Now I’m happy that they’re not with me anymore but they still continue backstabbing me all of them, putting me down and making me look like I’m a bad person. I just ignore them and move on with my life. Their loss is my gain! Now I saw their true colors… I could care less.
I avoided the most toxic person, I divorced him 😊 Have a lovely day everyone 💕
Yesss
I cut out my sister. My mom only speaks to her. Her son's grew up, left, and changed the cell number to be rid of her. She's not invited to family events either.
Amen.
Donna Joseph-Barford I want to cut out my sister. Unfortunately, I live with her. Really don’t know what to do.
Aya Maybe you can live somewhere else with family?
There are 2 types of negative people:
1. The Victim - the one who became negative due to misfortunes and maltreated from others that affects their emotions and views in this world. Examples are those who are always lonely and down.
(these people need someone who is compassionate to lift them up.)
2. The Abusers - The person who treated others with malice and abusing others emotions and feelings. The main example of these are bullies and man users.
(these people must be avoided at all cost)
Remember this facts:
1. Weak people bullied and use others, They ABUSE others.
2. Feeble minds dont care.
3. Average minds SYMPHATIZE.
4. Wise minds EMPHATIZE and
5. STRONG people treat others with COMPASSION...
And what about the Know-it-all's?
Exactly...Toxic people see manners as a weakness.
I learned that people will be upset because you don’t want to be nasty,mean ,nor gossip about or to people!Most times they have nothing going on so they try to manipulate people into disliking you or if you see a group of people talking down on people who clearly have more going on than them it’s jealousy.I was a round people who did nothing but talk about people and the only way they where nice is if they did something nice for them but right after they would talk about them too❗️😒 I disliked being round them soo much ,because you can feel the negativity in the air,they made everything NEGATIVE even if I was trying to be positive ❗️I’m so thankful that I’m not around people like that anymore .You can’t even try encouraging them because they are used to the cycle they’ve created with people that’s just like them❗️
My trucking school is like that we have a girl who talk down about every new and old experience student. She will talk behind ur back if ur to nice and those that fit her mean characters vibe..she will get along with them. Also she and her entourage friends will try to skip a students turn when using the trucks to practice
I grew up under the thumb of an extreme covert narcissist mother. I also learned later in life that my younger brother adopted all of her personality traits as well. Virtually all of the character traits explained in this video are exactly what one would expect from a narcissist, especially a covert narcissist. Covert narcissists are masters at many of the toxic examples in this video. My advice to everyone here is to go online and research exactly what to expect from narcissists (and covert narcissists in particular). This will allow you to spot one immediately (as they can be very sneaky and at least initially gain allies and friends to help support their abusive behavior), and then using many of the examples here to avoid them.
Dont forgot that they use your character for everything they do in life. I was really dumb I thought I had a great friend for life at tbe least but I can admit I was super dumb. I'm still learning but I'm just glad that we wo.t ever speak again.
@@tyreeduncan5866, I wouldn't be so hard on yourself. There are a LOT of empathetic people who want to help others, and I'm sure many of the people watching this video have experienced that too. It's considered "intelligent" to learn from your mistakes, and even more intelligent to learn from other people's mistakes. So yes, covert narcissists most definitely use you, and will try to use many of your character traits too. Once you know that though you should be fine (i.e. fool me once, shame on you...fool me twice, shame on me 🙂). There's no shame in being "fooled", as long as you learn from it.
Took me a minute but I realized most of my family and friends were extremely toxic but disguising it in polite judgement. Pulling myself out of their pit and sprinting for the door has been one of the best things for my own sanity.
Run don't walk. Toxic people are usually narcissistic and do nothing but make others miserable. Recognizing this type of personality from the beginning of any relationship will save you a lot of time & effort better spent on someone more deserving.
I respect your opinion, but I believe you are misguided, a lot of times toxic people are just people that have not come to terms with their own inner demons (their mental illness, their bad situations that they try to reflect in the world.) I never assume that someone is a narcissist unless they give enough red flags. They could just be having a hard time and we have to understand that we do not see or know 100% of the other persons life. We cannot be the ones to diagnose or judge them. My step dad may be a narcissist but I don't talk about it. I just keep him out of my life. I guess all I'm saying is maybe we should leave the diagnosing to the professionals. People are people.
My ex boss was a toxic person and you can't determine such a shithead until you start working for them. He was very nice and normal during interviews but after 2-3 weeks his true colors came out and I stayed in that job for 7 months.
Depending on the situations... Sometimes we can be toxic..
Absolutely
And by the way they never Change and They suffer from low Self esteem.#TheyHateThemelves
Right now I'm experiencing depression and anxiety because I am surrounded with toxic people ,I don't know what to do that's why I'm here .And I want to say Thankyou for this video 😣💖
I've been there. I learned to shun toxic people and those who defend them with silence or attacking my reaction. We can't make peace with everyone. The time to make peace was years ago and they dismissed it. So I dismissed them from my life. We don't owe them our peace of mind or an explanation when we shun them.
My mother is a toxic person, and I had to deal with her when I lived in her house but now I don't live with her SO finally I live happier and I think dealing with this type of people is so difficult
I have learned to ignore them and distance myself from them and they will eventually back off. Don’t give anyone a satisfaction to ruin your day. They don’t worth your time. Life is too short to be unhappy.😁💕
Yes I agree, this is so true.
V true. .
☝🏽😌🎧❤
Always in my own world by myself n then someone appears unnecessarily. Thats when i give them a piece of my pouty witty mouth.😒
thank you !!
Sooo good dear this is going to be a very great motivation quote for me from now and i will take screen shot of it thnxxxx
Keeping your Distance and ignoring them. seems to work.
Sometimes ignoring doesn't work. The person will still keep disturbing/bullying you until you stand up for yourself.
You cannot distance or ignore them when they are an immediate family (mother)!😣😥😫😯
@@joserizatecson1487 Gurl you know you telling nothing but the truth?.
@@joserizatecson1487 So.if you don't mind telling me
How do you deal.with them without snapping?.
@@curtistinemiller1560 i snap most of the time! I have a love/hate relationship with my mom!
I needed this today :) thank you! My wonderful boyfriend proposed to me this past weekend and it was amazing. I'm so happy in my life :) Then my ex tried to ruin it with their mouth and negativity. I woke up today and said out-loud "I need toxic people out of my life, I'm not going to allow it anymore...I'm done" And then I saw this UA-cam video :) thank you!
That's why UA-cam is my best social media platform>>informative videos (remember you are what you consume)...I can tell the million viewers of this video got immense positive energy...self actualization is crucial for your well being...stay focused..stay blessed🙏...
Real friends will be happy when something good happens to you. And if they are successful they will try to help you be successful like them.
Exactly. Rather than talking down at you and when you react to what they said they turn it around as a joke.
Many friends can't take the idea of you being happy because then you are better than them. Many bad people need to put you down to elevate themselves of others they want to impress, but why drag you into it? Needless drama because they know they aren't the best and can't value your worth unless they can use you first.
I've always had the attitude that I have a high tolerance for these people who just need some guidance. You can't help someone if they don't want to change. It has taken me YEARS to get this and I still have moments of "They can't help it" or "They had a rough childhood". Don't enable these people or it will drain you.
@pan peter It is. If they weren't abused, they would probably not be toxic. But of course that's their problem, not ours. They have to fix their toxicity.
Just recently I cut off a very toxic friend in my life and believe me it was the greatest decision that I have ever done. I'm so happy now 😊
wish me luck, i am going to do the same, i see her every day at school, its going to be hard.
That's why I always prefer to be alone. Yah, I didn't able to make so much friends (actually I just made a single close friend way back a decade ago, but he passed away already), that's why I'm gonna focus on this new person in my life, I finally made a friend again. And I'm happy with him to be around.
Sometimes, all you need to have is a single person to complete you. Because the more you have friends, the more fake you are, and the opposite goes when you have few, because you priority quality over quantity! 🙂
"It is fully within your rights to be a happy person who associates with emotionally healthy people." Excellent. As was this list overall. Thanks.
Great video. Came here after having a comment argument. While I'm getting better at avoiding arguments on the internet, this one guy simply misunderstood what I was saying and started getting rude unprovoked, and instead of taking my correction of what I was saying, telling him what I really meant, this guy and his ego refused to take it and instead, of course, I was the one who REALLY the ignorant one who misunderstood, and defusal didn't work. I pointed out the obvious hypocrisy and didn't even read the further replies. Sometimes it's good to just leave it I guess.
boundaries… This is definitely the key 🔑 learn to say " NO" 😉
100%
I agree with you.
Amen!!! ;)
no
That very very very seldom works
I feel emotionally abused by one of my friends. I got a really cool job opportunity and I wanted to share the news with her. She got mad at me for no reason and ignores me and my attempts to communicate with her. I blamed myself for a long time and I felt miserble. This video really helped me realise that she's toxic. And if I think better of our history together, she has never been happy for me when I shared my good news with her. But I always thought she's just having a hard time and things will get better. I avoided telling her some of my greatest accomplishments and she got mad at me for not telling her! But I couldn't tell her because she always makes me feel like I am not worthy of anything and that good things happen to me only because I am lucky and she's not. Some of our mutual friends warned me so many times but I didn't listen to them because I wanted to help her and protect her. Now I realise that I was the one who needed protection... I need professional help to recover from my emotional breakdown and for sure I'll be getting one ASAP. Life is so short, live it with people that make you feel happy.
Solution:- just forget them or stop talking with them...
Ha, in 2020, I’ve been using covid isolation as an excuse to stay away from toxic people in my life...silver linings y’all 🥳🤷♀️🤷♂️🥳
I can relate, I've been doing the isolation tactic before it became essential to my well being...
I'm stuck with toxic people😟😔
Only problem is I’m gonna have to see them at school and I don’t know what to do 🥴 it’s gonna be so awkward
Amen to silver linings.
@@MS-py5gb I hope this video helps you with dealing with them.
I kind of hoped that the narrator would have highlighted the power of not taking toxic people too personally. But staying goal oriented and embracing your right to express your emotional wellbeing is another way of establishing your personal boundaries with others.