Thanks for this well presented program. It can not be overstated how much the death of children irreversibly impacts the "soul" of a parent. Coming from a family who has lost a brother and three first cousins to unexpected and tragic deaths, ages four, thirty-eight, twenty-eight, and fifty respectively, I know all too well the impact that is not well understood nor supported, especially in America, because, frankly, grief freaks people out and our countries' "death rituals" leave a lot to be desired. I know that I'm going off topic, but to anyone who knows a parent whose child died and you're not sure what to do or say, I have a few very easy, but extremely important do's and do nots: DO NOT 1. Ask what you can do because while you're trying to be helpful, you're actually making it harder; now, THEY have to help you, help THEM. 2. Let them cry without trying to make them stop. Instead, offer your hand to hold. 3. Ask them to share a story about their daughter/son. Ask positive, easy questions. Favorite color? What did they enjoy doing, reading, etc. What's one of your favorite memories? ABSOLUTE LY some of the WORST things you can do, but ESPECIALLY SAY: 1. He/she is in a better place. 2. I know how you feel. (YOU DON'T, unless you suffered through the death of your own child!) 3. Give it time. 4. God only gives you as much as you can handle, 🤯. 5. Oh, honey, don't cry; don't be sad. Think of the happy times. 6. Don't ignore their grief. If you ask them how they are doing, please be sincere and LISTEN. Don't try to fix it/them. You CAN'T. But, you can listen, especially if they cry. Listen to them cry and don't try to stop them from crying by any means. Heck, you can even cry with them. Remember that we laugh together. Why is one acceptable and not the other? You will never know the depth of their pain. The grief a parent suffers is different than any other kind of grief derived from the death of a beloved. It's like a wound that has a scab, but that scab never fully heals. Congratulations if you've read this entire comment. It's well meant. Peace be with you...
Today's the date of Abraham Lincoln's death, sadly 159 years ago. Thank you for an excellent presentation and glimpse into the marriage of Mary Todd and Abraham- a fascinating duo who endured so many trials, together. Historian Tom McGrath mentions an excellent book, "With Malice Toward None," by Stephen B. Oates; I agree it is an enthralling look into the life of an amazing man.
Lincoln loved small animal's a non drinker non smoker he provided his children and Mary with unconditional love and devotion, they were a fascinating couple to be sure
Mary Todd Lincoln suffered the deaths of her sons and her husband at a young age, it is no surprise she suffered depression. She was the belle of the ball, formally ecucated. Spoke french and english fluently. Well traveled and a good conversatinalist and a quick wit. Abraham and Mary were perfect together.
What I most admired about About good old Abraham Lincoln was his calmness-- WISDOM courage and strength. Where there is a strong intelligent woman she will stand by a strong intelligent man with courage,loyalty, and grace.
Mary did not want to be a spinster. Although Mary had a chance to marry a widower, she was not overwhelmed with marriage proposals. Lincoln was not depressed over losing Mary because he was the person who called off the engagement. To promote a reconciliation, mutual friends arranged for them to meet in secret. The preparations for the wedding were rushed. Mary's family felt she had married down. After she became First Lady, Mary flaunted her success by offering federal patronage jobs to members of her family. It does reflect well on Lincoln that, in order to maintain peace in his home, that he gave into Mary's request for jobs for her family members. Although Lincoln was a man of simple taste, Mary had delusions of grandeur and took a regal approach to her role as First Lady. Mary wanted to prove she had not made a mistake by marrying a man from a humble background.
Lincoln was self confident. Self educated enjoyed 📚 the the theatre he had good humor and would engage in mutual intellectual conversation. His intention was to save the union and that he did. Abe Lincoln was the worlds greatest president.
Read Elizabeth Keckleys book... it paints a fair and sympathetic picture of Mary. Ive always been sorry for Mary. Thanks for giving her a good word also
Um, I think you don't get a classic deep physical depression - which is what it was, as described - in the space of one week. If I may guess, Lincoln broke off the engagement because he ALREADY had fallen into a depression. That's how it goes. Doesn't need to be a trigger, either.
Having read several books about the Lincoln’s. It looks like her depression started with the death of her Mother. She didn’t get along with her Step Mother and her Father seemed to not pay much attention to her. What do we know about her during the time Abe broke the Engagement.
Mary Keckley Marys seamstress made the most beautiful dresses for Mary. I hope that someday that Miss Keckley gets respect in death that escaped her in life.
He ♒ AQUARIUS, She SCORPIO ♏ Have you ever watched cloud front grow into a storm? See lightning flashes? Her Sun sign conjuncted Uranus the planet of violence, attacks, inconsistencies. A volatile combination in every respect. They literally lived out their zodiac symbols. 🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥
30:05 I very highly doubt that they got $20,000 for interior decorating in 1861. In today's dollars, that is about $690,000 (per WestEgg inflation calculator)
"Congress had appropriated $20,000 to be expended over the four years of her husband's term of office for rehabilitating the Executive Mansion, and she intended to put it to good use." David Herbert Donald, "Lincoln" pages 312-313. This information is readily available in thousands of sources if one were to research it. Mary Lincoln overspent this amount.
They saved everything including the kitchen sink figuratively. It’s a disgrace that they didn’t have the wherewithal to keep and preserve the funeral train and Pullman car.
There are a lot of errors in this presentation. One of the worst ones: 49:35 Robert did NOT have his mother committed due to her monomania. It was for her own safety because she suffered from delusions, hallucinations, and paranoia.
"Robert Lincoln-and others-always believed the root of Mary’s mania was money: her indefatigable need to spend it and her paranoid conviction that she had none. “The simple truth, which I cannot tell anyone not personally interested, is that my mother is on one subject not mentally responsible,” Robert wrote to his future wife, Mary Harlan, in 1867. “You could hardly believe it possible, but my mother protests to me that she is in actual want and nothing I can do or say will convince her to the contrary.” In fact, Abraham Lincoln’s estate was more than $83,000 upon his death, one-third of which was Mary’s. Moreover, she received $22,000 in late 1865 as the remainder of her husband’s presidential salary, and Congress voted her a $3000 annual pension in 1870. Robert told Mary Harlan in 1867 that there was nothing he could do. “I have taken the advice of one or two of my friends in whom I trust most and they tell me I can do nothing. It is terribly irksome to sit still under all that has happened and say nothing, but it has to be done. The greatest misery of all is the fear of what may happen in the future.” Just eight years later he was forced to act." -Jason Emerson American Heritage Magazine, June/July 2006. Vol. 57, Issue 3
I’ve always had so much sympathy for Mary Lincoln. How she suffered through all of her losses is way beyond me.
Thanks for this well presented program. It can not be overstated how much the death of children irreversibly impacts the "soul" of a parent. Coming from a family who has lost a brother and three first cousins to unexpected and tragic deaths, ages four, thirty-eight, twenty-eight, and fifty respectively, I know all too well the impact that is not well understood nor supported, especially in America, because, frankly, grief freaks people out and our countries' "death rituals" leave a lot to be desired. I know that I'm going off topic, but to anyone who knows a parent whose child died and you're not sure what to do or say, I have a few very easy, but extremely important do's and do nots: DO NOT 1. Ask what you can do because while you're trying to be helpful, you're actually making it harder; now, THEY have to help you, help THEM. 2. Let them cry without trying to make them stop. Instead, offer your hand to hold. 3. Ask them to share a story about their daughter/son. Ask positive, easy questions. Favorite color? What did they enjoy doing, reading, etc. What's one of your favorite memories? ABSOLUTE LY some of the WORST things you can do, but ESPECIALLY SAY: 1. He/she is in a better place. 2. I know how you feel. (YOU DON'T, unless you suffered through the death of your own child!) 3. Give it time. 4. God only gives you as much as you can handle, 🤯. 5. Oh, honey, don't cry; don't be sad. Think of the happy times. 6. Don't ignore their grief. If you ask them how they are doing, please be sincere and LISTEN. Don't try to fix it/them. You CAN'T. But, you can listen, especially if they cry. Listen to them cry and don't try to stop them from crying by any means. Heck, you can even cry with them. Remember that we laugh together. Why is one acceptable and not the other? You will never know the depth of their pain. The grief a parent suffers is different than any other kind of grief derived from the death of a beloved. It's like a wound that has a scab, but that scab never fully heals. Congratulations if you've read this entire comment. It's well meant. Peace be with you...
Today's the date of Abraham Lincoln's death, sadly 159 years ago. Thank you for an excellent presentation and glimpse into the marriage of Mary Todd and Abraham- a fascinating duo who endured so many trials, together. Historian Tom McGrath mentions an excellent book, "With Malice Toward None," by Stephen B. Oates; I agree it is an enthralling look into the life of an amazing man.
Lincoln loved small animal's a non drinker non smoker he provided his children and Mary with unconditional love and devotion, they were a fascinating couple to be sure
Mary Todd Lincoln suffered the deaths of her sons and her husband at a young age, it is no surprise she suffered depression. She was the belle of the ball, formally ecucated. Spoke french and english fluently. Well traveled and a good conversatinalist and a quick wit. Abraham and Mary were perfect together.
What I most admired about About good old Abraham Lincoln was his calmness-- WISDOM courage and strength. Where there is a strong intelligent woman she will stand by a strong intelligent man with courage,loyalty, and grace.
Good stuff, very informative and quite fascinating. "Learning about Lincoln... having some food!"
Great information.
Mary did not want to be a spinster. Although Mary had a chance to marry a widower, she was not overwhelmed with marriage proposals. Lincoln was not depressed over losing Mary because he was the person who called off the engagement. To promote a reconciliation, mutual friends arranged for them to meet in secret. The preparations for the wedding were rushed. Mary's family felt she had married down. After she became First Lady, Mary flaunted her success by offering federal patronage jobs to members of her family. It does reflect well on Lincoln that, in order to maintain peace in his home, that he gave into Mary's request for jobs for her family members. Although Lincoln was a man of simple taste, Mary had delusions of grandeur and took a regal approach to her role as First Lady. Mary wanted to prove she had not made a mistake by marrying a man from a humble background.
All speculation… no one knows a marriage unless they are in the marriage
True. But isn't all history speculation and interpretation? None of us was there. Does that mean we should not attempt to understand the past?
Very interesting. Informative and interestingly presented. Thank you!
Lincoln was self confident. Self educated enjoyed 📚 the the theatre he had good humor and would engage in mutual intellectual conversation. His intention was to save the union and that he did. Abe Lincoln was the worlds greatest president.
Lincoln was very patient with Mary, its telling about him as a husband and father
lovely presentation
Thank you for sharing, your presentation was very good and enjoyed it alot.
Read Elizabeth Keckleys book... it paints a fair and sympathetic picture of Mary. Ive always been sorry for Mary. Thanks for giving her a good word also
Um, I think you don't get a classic deep physical depression - which is what it was, as described - in the space of one week. If I may guess, Lincoln broke off the engagement because he ALREADY had fallen into a depression. That's how it goes. Doesn't need to be a trigger, either.
And you know this how?
Having read several books about the Lincoln’s. It looks like her depression started with the death of her Mother. She didn’t get along with her Step Mother and her Father seemed to not pay much attention to her. What do we know about her during the time Abe broke the Engagement.
Mary kept her over spending under wraps from Abraham
Mary Keckley Marys seamstress made the most beautiful dresses for Mary. I hope that someday that Miss Keckley gets respect in death that escaped her in life.
He ♒ AQUARIUS, She SCORPIO ♏ Have you ever watched cloud front grow into a storm? See lightning flashes? Her Sun sign conjuncted Uranus the planet of violence, attacks, inconsistencies. A volatile combination in every respect. They literally lived out their zodiac symbols. 🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥
30:05 I very highly doubt that they got $20,000 for interior decorating in 1861. In today's dollars, that is about $690,000 (per WestEgg inflation calculator)
"Congress had appropriated $20,000 to be expended over the four years of her husband's term of office for rehabilitating the Executive Mansion, and she intended to put it to good use." David Herbert Donald, "Lincoln" pages 312-313. This information is readily available in thousands of sources if one were to research it. Mary Lincoln overspent this amount.
@@thescarecrowheroes1423 My level of knowledge has vastly increased in the past 3 months, and you are correct.
Some facts need brushing up. Photographs, carriage are well documented but ignored.
They saved everything including the kitchen sink figuratively. It’s a disgrace that they didn’t have the wherewithal to keep and preserve the funeral train and Pullman car.
There are a lot of errors in this presentation. One of the worst ones:
49:35 Robert did NOT have his mother committed due to her monomania. It was for her own safety because she suffered from delusions, hallucinations, and paranoia.
"Robert Lincoln-and others-always believed the root of Mary’s mania was money: her indefatigable need to spend it and her paranoid conviction that she had none. “The simple truth, which I cannot tell anyone not personally interested, is that my mother is on one subject not mentally responsible,” Robert wrote to his future wife, Mary Harlan, in 1867. “You could hardly believe it possible, but my mother protests to me that she is in actual want and nothing I can do or say will convince her to the contrary.” In fact, Abraham Lincoln’s estate was more than $83,000 upon his death, one-third of which was Mary’s. Moreover, she received $22,000 in late 1865 as the remainder of her husband’s presidential salary, and Congress voted her a $3000 annual pension in 1870. Robert told Mary Harlan in 1867 that there was nothing he could do. “I have taken the advice of one or two of my friends in whom I trust most and they tell me I can do nothing. It is terribly irksome to sit still under all that has happened and say nothing, but it has to be done. The greatest misery of all is the fear of what may happen in the future.” Just eight years later he was forced to act."
-Jason Emerson
American Heritage Magazine, June/July 2006. Vol. 57, Issue 3
So after POTUS Lincoln scolded Mary Todd about overspending on the White House decorations, did she actually follow the advice??
Lincoln paid for the bill with his own salary
I think President Lincoln liked to have his photo taken.
Ya think???? 😂😂😂😂😂
🤔