I'll be 69 years old in a few weeks, I'm single, and ALL of my friends have moved away and taken their manners with them by not letting me know how to reach them, so I am by myself. I can't count on any of my old friends anymore, so I'm looking beyond them and hoping to meet all new people. It's all I can do, and it's common as you get older. This will show you what kind of friends you really have. As for boredom, there's plenty to do in life, there just isn't enough time, unfortunately. When somebody tells you to make the most of every minute or day, take them seriously, they're right. Stay well, men, we're all in this together.
"I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel alone." words of wisdom from the late Robin Williams. Great video, always appropriate topic. We all experience it.
I’m a recent widower at 43, and it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever been through. I decided early on that I didn’t want to go to a dark place. I started just saying yes to everyone and everything. Do everything in public. Talk to strangers. Reach out to old friends, and be open to new friends. Just be around people as often and as much as you can.
I'm sorry to hear this man. I'm also a widower (widowed at 37). Herb Knoll has a book called 'The Widower's Journey' available on Amazon (but it's more for older chaps). I would recommend finding a good therapist that "fits" you (I went through about 3 before I found a good one for me). If you enjoy working out, and I hope you do, get yourself (back) into working out/running. I'm recommending these things because there is something called delayed grief. Keeping yourself busy and focused on other things doesn't resolve the grief you may have residing inside of you. I wish you all the best my brother. The journey is a beautiful one if you want to make it beautiful. And John, you always have been, and always will be, a #Legend. Thank you for all your work!
My wife passed away in February of this year. She battled mental illness since she was a teenager. She was 30. I just turned 39. I'm now a single father with a 5 year daughter. I just booked a weekend getaway Solo vacation to Cartagena Colombia in June. Hoping to meet lots of new People
I broke up with a girl that I thought was the one (story of my life hahaaha), I'm 43, and I have to admit that it was one of the best things that happened to me. I re-evaluated myself, and for once in my life I'm starting to do things I never thought I would do. Like going to concerts by myself. Huge step. Realised that loneliness is fine, as long as you identify it as such, and see your limits. Yes, we all feel lonely, we all feel bored, and it;'s ok. What's not ok is to let them rule us. So, every day is a new day. And I choose to treat it as such. Take care everybody!!
I'm 56 and single,with no luck in love ,but I DECIDED TO ENJOY LIFE. Like go out and have a nice meal at the restaurant or spend time at the beach ⛱️. Thanks for your advice.
To battle loneliness and boredom I do “service work” or help others or a charity. Arrange outings with new people for a group outing to a park, museum, movies etc.
I’m 72, went through a lonely and depressed state for a long time after a divorce, I recently moved from the U.S. to the Philippines, I’m not bored or lonely anymore, surrounded by happy people and beautiful women in a tropical environment 😊
I've been researching PH and SE Asia for 18 months and have been remodeling my Phoenix home to get ready to sell or rent for a move to SE Asia. Yup, looks interesting. One interesting thing I wonder if is going on is increased vitamin D due to being near the equator and warm climate for more skin exposure. Most people in cold climates have low D levels which can add to depression.
@@MrWaterbugdesign advice for the Philippines as a Filipino; if you like malls and a city environment and better access to healthcare Metro Manila might be your thing (Ortigas, Makati, Taguig BGC areas might provide near first world facilities and night life) if country side is your thing Clark, Tagaytay, Batangas, Bohol, Boracay, Cebu might suit your fancy. Traffic is horrendous in Metro Manila but provides enough things to do to prevent boredom. Try to follow and be respectful of cultural norms and in general you'd be fine as the Philippines is a very foreigner friendly country. The areas I mentioned above are where most expats tend to locate themselves. Good luck
Getting out of your comfort zone is one cure for boredom. Start a meetup group for a hobby you are interested in. I started a target shooting one and already have several members. I joined one years ago in a different city I used to work in and it had dozens of members. You can make good friends with others that share a similar hobby. A relationship is no cure for boredom. In the beginning of my last one, it wasn't boring until the honeymoon phase was over, and then I got bored. Same with being married, if your girlfriend and you don't find new things to do and get out of your comfort zone, and meet knew people, you'll both get bored. The video was important, but the real jewels for me were the comments. Another idea I had was to go back to the two churches I used to attend with my parent when they were living. There are different events they have and an opportunity to volunteer and help others too.
I think for many guys 40+ life got in the way of maintaining friendships over preceding years, and it can be hard to 'resurrect' them, it can be hard to explain to people why you haven't been in touch, we overthink the whole thing, so we just let those relationships wither and die - in my experience though, those old friends are in the same position, so any attempts I've made to reconnect have been well received.
"I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone” Robin Williams.
Some of the best overseas holidays I have ever had were when I travelled alone. Met new people. Did things I normally wouldn’t do. Pure magic. Don’t be scared. Do it! Time is our biggest enemy and you won’t have that time when you’re far too old. Legend! 😉
I went thru this a few years back.. My break up with my girl was brutal.. Depression starts to call your name.. Fortunately I started riding my bike around the park.. Pretty soon I was doing group rides and getting fit at the same time. Long story short .. it changed my life.. I still think about her every now and then but then I see how fit I have become and how many new friends I have that I thank her for it..
Legend Thank you for covering this topic. Being a homebody when I was younger I feel I missed building close friendships and memory’s. That would be my advice “as an old man” to younger people. Don’t waste time glued to the screen. Whether it’s on TV or on your phone.
Legend. I have recognized in myself that sometimes I just hang out on the couch, doing nothing. This can last several days to a few weeks. I don’t feel guilty that I’m unproductive but use the time to recharge and contemplate what I’d like to do. Eventually I get up, refreshed and carry on.
I just want to say that you hit the nail on the head on many fronts. Many of us are battling depression and anxiety partly due to loneliness. It has been tough.
I wish you well with your life and hope you meet an abundance of friendly, considerate people; in spite of this continuing pandemic, you still need to get out somewhere and find some happiness.
John, the reason i love your channel is because you're touching on everything that's important to men like us. Yes, as your channel suggests, your channel is all about fashion for mature people like us but you know thet dressing up is just half of the battle. Men like me are drawn to your channel because you've been there, done that attitude. You slso have a certain panache' that some of us here can surely benefit from. I commented on another one of your videos that i just recently went through a breakup and going through a lot of things right now. Your relationship advice on this channel is point on that most of us can probably relate. I'm sure i can speak for most of us here that we really appreciate all that you do!
Legend, great topic as always. I recently became single a week ago. My strategy is focus on my business, bettering myself and reconnecting with friends I hadn’t seen for a bit
Some good advice. I've booked my first solo city trip. I'm a little anxious but excited at the same time. I'm almost 50, single and hopefully start a new chapter in my life. I still find it hard to go to bar's on my own though. Small steps I guess! 😕
Good advice, and I think the key is to admit that part of our health depends upon a minimum amount of consistent, daily social interaction that adds up over the weeks, months and years. So take a daily bus ride to the local library for a few hours, doing some work there, try to spread shopping over the week, spend money in a way that's of use to the community etc. Knowing that our activity helps the community reacts positively upon our own sense of well being.
Hi John. Coming out of a pandemic and divorcing prior at 39. The timing of this couldn't have been better! Your more than fashion, giving damn good wisdom too. Much appreciated Steve Sydney. Aus
Legend. I think there’s an important detail to add. Going to bar alone can be lots of fun but you have to keep an open mind. I’ve seen people alone at bars looking like they are a million miles away. It’s hard to strike up a conversation with those people. I recently went to a bar alone while traveling and had a blast with one of the locals, but I was up for anything and I think it showed.
I can understand how boredom could be a thing in the past but we have so many things we could do today that there is no time to be bored that is just lack of thinking
Legend. I moved from UK to Chicago and apart from my work colleagues and I did not know anyone. I confided in one of my female colleagues who told me think of it like strings of pearls. She said do not think about the string but think about the next pearl. The next pearl can be anything going shopping, cook a nice meal, going for a drink, going to a Museum. They don’t have to be major things they can be very small simple things. She told me not to look at the string part but always look forward to the next pearl.
Thanks John, interesting topic. I certainly feel lonely at times as I live quite a way from family and friends. I’m working to mover closer soon but you are so right about getting out when you feel bored and lonely. I had a really great afternoon out exploring a part of Sheffield new to me, enjoyed great coffee, chatted to some folks and did a bit of retail therapy including some nice wines. Thanks for your videos you are a legend😃
Thanks for another LEGENDARY video John. I recently experienced some pretty deep feelings of loneliness because I thought I didn’t really have any close friendships. I thought that my friendships were more like acquaintances. I tried reaching out to some people and it helped me realize that I do have close friends. I just wasn’t taking advantage of talking/visiting with them.
Legend! Great video as always. I guess 'm lucky that I am rarely bored or lonely, but I do get restless at times. Sometimes I have to remind myself that it's okay to take it easy and not do something all the time. Thanks again.
Great video along with great ideas. Just get up off the couch or bed and put the phone down. Get outside and walk or do something around the house. There is always something to be cleaned in the house. Main thing is like you said just find something to do. It's to easy to say "oh I can do that later or I don't feel like it right now" that is a defeatist attitude so get off your ass and do it, just do it. You'll thank yourself In the long run and feel better to boot. Thanks again for the video!
Great topic and takes a brave person to bring the subject up and admit it. You can be lonely in the middle of nowhere or in a major city, it is just how you deal with it that counts. As always a great look book
Wow John, next level advice! I’m married and I love my wife dearly, but my wife has stage four cancer and I hope she has many years with me but God for bid if it’s less time then what you said in this video I will remember.
Legend. Lot of what you said is right and articulates what I do. I’m also going to quit my boring as shit job and go into self employment and hustle. Hopefully that’s going to open heaps of new opportunities.
Hello John. Thank you for this wonderful video. I have been feeling lonely for some time now. Even though I keep working and trying to cope with the daily routine. My job is not challenging anymore, actually, I am feeling bored too. I decided to take early retirement and look for better chances....professionally and personally. It is difficult to admit it. Guess what? I am looking forward to the new journey that I will take! Thanks again for this great video, we all need sometimes to be reminded that we have a choice in life and where we are heading. Stay safe and have fun! Cheers.
Legend🤩 Good evening, John. Very good topic indeed. Thank you very much for taking the time to compile this video. Being a bachelor loneliness and boredom have been my constant companion on and off. As you know an idle mind is a devil's workshop. So I do keep myself occupied with something or the other. Take care, John. God bless. Much love Ravi From South Indis.
I did a degree in my dotage. That took care of the board and problem for me for quite a long time,, considering even with fees being much lower in NZ I could only afford one course a year. In fact I got a few extra ones in because they vaguely forgot about me - but this year I'm being forced to graduate which is a shame. I did all sorts of courses, some of which perhaps might appear boring on the surface, but I found that the deep you get into a subject the less boring it is. And being older and with life experience did wonders for my grades. My last three courses I averaged over 90%. Doing better than most of the young people helps to cheer you up as well. :)
When I'm bored I have 2 things I do. I will play golf. I nearly always get matched with 1, 2, or 3 other players. I have played with 100s of strangers in my life. I've met many interesting characters and have memories of those times. A few became friends. The other thing I like to do is get in the car and drive to the beach, mountains, or desert depending on the time of year. Usually, that leads to unexpected experiences.
Hey John, great suggestions. I have one to add: take up a hobby. Out of boredom I discovered an interest in mens fashion ( including your channel ), watches and architecture at the legendary age of 62. Guess an old dog can learn something new!
What a great video 10++ I feel I have been blessed with three life long close friends. Can share anything. However, in the last three years two have passed from leukemia and the other one has Alzheimers. So here I am 61 having to start over. And I'm in a new city ( Naples) where I don't know anybody. It's been depressing. I need to belly up and put on my extrovert face and jump in. I'm also going to reach out to your sponsor today. Perfect timing. I need some clarity and a kick in the butt. Thank you. Stephen/Naples
Great video John! Therapy and writing down things I love to do has kept me busy on a daily basis have changed my life the past year. Have a great weekend. #legend
Turning 50, this year, I've never truly been "alone", I'm single. Mother keeps me company, as annoying as she can be.( I live with her, dad passed away). So when she goes, I will likely have a harder time if it. I got used to not having a friend, to regularly hang out with, quite sometime ago. I guess I was lucky, in that I never lost my job, during the pandemic, so I still had coworkers to interact with. In the past, some of us went to dinner theater together, but when it comes to the staff Xmas party, I'd rather not go. It's odd, I know.
I’m Same as you I’m 55 live with mum as she got cancer, I go work which I hate and can’t stand most that works there . Few years ago we all used go out ect but now it’s only really Xmas and birthdays but Blowing them out as a few that I don’t like go and it makes me feel uncomfortable in their company. You’re not alone have a great day and look after yourself 🙏🏼
@@Lamby1010 Sounds like we live similar lives. Basically, I'm the house lackey, because mum can't physically do much. I learned to accept it. Accepting life, with some humor, helps. Take care.
@@freshliving4199 We all die sometime. I went to school with someone, who, on the surface, had everything to live for. They are no longer with us, yet, I'm still here.
@@freshliving4199 Identify? You know, I never consciously gave it any thought. I first heard about this, when Jordan Peterson talked about " identity politics". I don't understand the preoccupation with " identity".
Thanks for this video , i am dealing with loneliness but i don't know that not dealing properly with loneliness can lead to the things you stated like anxiety , sleeping disorder and more recently i develop High Blood pressure , i should be more organise now and try some innovative things to keep myself busy
Legend as always John, I plan my home life as a do my work life with a list of stuff to do. It keeps me focused and gives a great feeling when you cross it off. Great video and as ever great sharing. If only I was closer I would be round to go and check out that winery with you.
I believe some peoples aspect of their tempo mental personality lends to them feeling a sense of boredom more than others. And I think that is something important to recognize the personality within your own mind and how it operates. I personally never get bored! And even if it seems like I’m not doing anything much, I’m busy in my own thoughts and mindscape. There are always a number of things also I can do and and I just go do one of endless things I find pleasure in doing. Sometimes it’s also just going for a walk all by myself in the park and to just enjoy the serenity of nature and ponder some more as I go on my walk. I’m more than sure someone knows that personality. However, I’m never at all bored!
It's interesting that someone with your background also feels this way. I fit the bill but I am in the autism spectrum (Asperger's), poor and I just don't socialize like "normal people". I just had to learn how how to live isolated. I don't feel motivation to go out and "do things" because the expense is always much larger than the benefit I obtain from those "experiences". When younger there was a "novelty element" attached to those activities that's just not there anymore and I can't afford to make a leap to experience things that would be novel to me because they're out of reach (mostly financially). I might enjoy a "first class lifestyle" if I could afford it without feeling the burden of the expenses but I don't enjoy just "going out somewhere affordable" (or free activities). Good things have a price for a reason and I wouldn't mess my finances just to have a better lifestyle. Socialization also tends to be quite disappointing to me, but I don't blame it on the others, I am just not well "wired", there's always a substantial asymmetry on my interactions and/or I am locked out of a scenario where I'd be able to integrate well. I wasn't competent to ascend socially, therefore I am stuck. I failed and it's too late for me. I am tired and on cruise control towards my final decades (?). I hope you can find a context that makes you happier with the tools within your reach. Alone or not alone, you don't need to bury yourself in work if you can afford to have (proper/enjoyable) fun.
My city had our summer festival on the weekend. I'm single and lonely and bored. I'm walking around and after a bit of time I'm noticing the older guys just like me walking around alone up and down the street over and over. I was doing the same thing . I want to be in a relationship so much but I couldn't handle being tossed away yet again. I would go off the deep end and probably do something very stupid 😔
I’m very lucky. I’m 42 and went MGTOW at age 38 after I left my girlfriend and moved to another state. Haven’t been on a date since because the women interested in me are not up to my standards and the ones I’m interested are taken or not interested in me. I met a friend at work who is 33 and single and we share hiking, women, food, and fashion as common interests. We go out weekly, to hike, eat, or go to the bars. He has a gf and 2 side chicks so I’m mentoring him in red pill and female nature and it is helping him manage his women. I also had a really good therapist at the VA who was interested in my life and well being during Covid before me and my friend started to really get close. Unfortunately she retired. I agree with everything in this vid. The loneliness can get you depressed. It’s important for your mental health to have someone to confide in so you won’t feel lonely.
A lot of people for some reason think that being bored is the worse thing in the world, it's not. It is time to reflect and to recharge your batteries, so to speak. There are times when you just need to rest and do absolutely nothing, there's nothing wrong with that. As far as counseling is concerned, I'm on the fence about that one. I would recommend reaching out to friends first, your real friends will tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. If you don't have those types of friends and you are in a state of loneliness more so than not, then counseling might be for you.
A cat/dog helps a lot with overcoming loneliness. The pet will be happy to see you when you come home, relies on you for everyday life. They will be with you when you want and give you space when you need. Of course a pet isn't a replacement for human interaction but a pet is a wonderful way to coupe with loneliness and boredom.
Would it be an idea to produce a video on table manners or manners in general... in order to raise self-confidence, e.g. when backtracking to normal life after a loss. Gentleman style and Gentleman life! ... The world needs self-confident Gentlemen! Cheers from Zurich, Robert
#legend appreciate the helpful suggestions I live alone and find that being by myself can be a real challenge which then precludes being bored will definitely take what you have offered to help cure loneliness and boredom under advisement thanks for sharing
I think a simple but not well understood point that alot of men over 40 need to better understand or hear more often is that in today's ever changing dating landscape where trends and preferences are for people to date younger and look good regardless of the age, older guys who want to interact and hopefully attract a younger women, maybe a guy in his 40s is interested in a young women in her late 20s early 30s, that younger women today are immediately going to want, assume and frankly expect that an older guy to be in good shape, to have that grown up strong body. Alot of guys focus their game on fashion and accessories and they look good but underneath all that is a beer belly and love handles and an overall unathletic body, so focus on the clothes and look but more importantly make sure your looking and feeling good underneath, because younger guys up and coming today in this social media world have always worked out and trained vs the older generation who didnt always stay in shape. I'm 35 going on 36 and am now back in the best shape of my life and thats allowed me to engage with younger women, sometimes a decade younger because they like my slightly older style but enjoy that I am fit and in shape like younger guys closer to her age.
I'll be 69 years old in a few weeks, I'm single, and ALL of my friends have moved away and taken their manners with them by not letting me know how to reach them, so I am by myself. I can't count on any of my old friends anymore, so I'm looking beyond them and hoping to meet all new people. It's all I can do, and it's common as you get older. This will show you what kind of friends you really have. As for boredom, there's plenty to do in life, there just isn't enough time, unfortunately. When somebody tells you to make the most of every minute or day, take them seriously, they're right. Stay well, men, we're all in this together.
"I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel alone." words of wisdom from the late Robin Williams. Great video, always appropriate topic. We all experience it.
Thank you very much!
I’m a recent widower at 43, and it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever been through. I decided early on that I didn’t want to go to a dark place. I started just saying yes to everyone and everything. Do everything in public. Talk to strangers. Reach out to old friends, and be open to new friends. Just be around people as often and as much as you can.
I'm sorry to hear this man.
I'm also a widower (widowed at 37).
Herb Knoll has a book called 'The Widower's Journey' available on Amazon (but it's more for older chaps). I would recommend finding a good therapist that "fits" you (I went through about 3 before I found a good one for me). If you enjoy working out, and I hope you do, get yourself (back) into working out/running.
I'm recommending these things because there is something called delayed grief. Keeping yourself busy and focused on other things doesn't resolve the grief you may have residing inside of you.
I wish you all the best my brother. The journey is a beautiful one if you want to make it beautiful.
And John, you always have been, and always will be, a #Legend. Thank you for all your work!
Keep up the good efforts
You've got the right mindset!
My wife passed away in February of this year. She battled mental illness since she was a teenager.
She was 30. I just turned 39. I'm now a single father with a 5 year daughter.
I just booked a weekend getaway Solo vacation to Cartagena Colombia in June.
Hoping to meet lots of new People
I'm very sorry for your loss sir. You're in my prayers.
I broke up with a girl that I thought was the one (story of my life hahaaha), I'm 43, and I have to admit that it was one of the best things that happened to me. I re-evaluated myself, and for once in my life I'm starting to do things I never thought I would do. Like going to concerts by myself. Huge step. Realised that loneliness is fine, as long as you identify it as such, and see your limits. Yes, we all feel lonely, we all feel bored, and it;'s ok. What's not ok is to let them rule us. So, every day is a new day. And I choose to treat it as such. Take care everybody!!
I'm 56 and single,with no luck in love ,but I DECIDED TO ENJOY LIFE. Like go out and have a nice meal at the restaurant or spend time at the beach ⛱️. Thanks for your advice.
Thanks for watching James!
To battle loneliness and boredom I do “service work” or help others or a charity. Arrange outings with new people for a group outing to a park, museum, movies etc.
I’m 72, went through a lonely and depressed state for a long time after a divorce, I recently moved from the U.S. to the Philippines, I’m not bored or lonely anymore, surrounded by happy people and beautiful women in a tropical environment 😊
Haha, I bet. I’ve been there on holiday but left my business there. 👍
nice haha, yeah western women aren't worth your time and filipinas are much more feminine
I've been researching PH and SE Asia for 18 months and have been remodeling my Phoenix home to get ready to sell or rent for a move to SE Asia. Yup, looks interesting. One interesting thing I wonder if is going on is increased vitamin D due to being near the equator and warm climate for more skin exposure. Most people in cold climates have low D levels which can add to depression.
@@MrWaterbugdesign advice for the Philippines as a Filipino; if you like malls and a city environment and better access to healthcare Metro Manila might be your thing (Ortigas, Makati, Taguig BGC areas might provide near first world facilities and night life) if country side is your thing Clark, Tagaytay, Batangas, Bohol, Boracay, Cebu might suit your fancy. Traffic is horrendous in Metro Manila but provides enough things to do to prevent boredom. Try to follow and be respectful of cultural norms and in general you'd be fine as the Philippines is a very foreigner friendly country. The areas I mentioned above are where most expats tend to locate themselves. Good luck
Getting out of your comfort zone is one cure for boredom. Start a meetup group for a hobby you are interested in. I started a target shooting one and already have several members. I joined one years ago in a different city I used to work in and it had dozens of members. You can make good friends with others that share a similar hobby. A relationship is no cure for boredom. In the beginning of my last one, it wasn't boring until the honeymoon phase was over, and then I got bored. Same with being married, if your girlfriend and you don't find new things to do and get out of your comfort zone, and meet knew people, you'll both get bored. The video was important, but the real jewels for me were the comments. Another idea I had was to go back to the two churches I used to attend with my parent when they were living. There are different events they have and an opportunity to volunteer and help others too.
I think for many guys 40+ life got in the way of maintaining friendships over preceding years, and it can be hard to 'resurrect' them, it can be hard to explain to people why you haven't been in touch, we overthink the whole thing, so we just let those relationships wither and die - in my experience though, those old friends are in the same position, so any attempts I've made to reconnect have been well received.
"I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone”
Robin Williams.
Some of the best overseas holidays I have ever had were when I travelled alone. Met new people. Did things I normally wouldn’t do. Pure magic. Don’t be scared. Do it! Time is our biggest enemy and you won’t have that time when you’re far too old. Legend! 😉
Well said!
It takes time to stop feeling lonely being or living alone but once you get used to, is very enjoyable.
But you do need to interact with other people once in a while. There has to be a balance between the two.
I went thru this a few years back.. My break up with my girl was brutal.. Depression starts to call your name.. Fortunately I started riding my bike around the park.. Pretty soon I was doing group rides and getting fit at the same time. Long story short .. it changed my life.. I still think about her every now and then but then I see how fit I have become and how many new friends I have that I thank her for it..
Legend
Thank you for covering this topic. Being a homebody when I was younger I feel I missed building close friendships and memory’s. That would be my advice “as an old man” to younger people. Don’t waste time glued to the screen. Whether it’s on TV or on your phone.
Legend. I have recognized in myself that sometimes I just hang out on the couch, doing nothing. This can last several days to a few weeks. I don’t feel guilty that I’m unproductive but use the time to recharge and contemplate what I’d like to do. Eventually I get up, refreshed and carry on.
I just want to say that you hit the nail on the head on many fronts. Many of us are battling depression and anxiety partly due to loneliness. It has been tough.
How are you battling?
I wish you well with your life and hope you meet an abundance of friendly, considerate people; in spite of this continuing pandemic, you still need to get out somewhere and find some happiness.
John, the reason i love your channel is because you're touching on everything that's important to men like us. Yes, as your channel suggests, your channel is all about fashion for mature people like us but you know thet dressing up is just half of the battle. Men like me are drawn to your channel because you've been there, done that attitude. You slso have a certain panache' that some of us here can surely benefit from. I commented on another one of your videos that i just recently went through a breakup and going through a lot of things right now. Your relationship advice on this channel is point on that most of us can probably relate. I'm sure i can speak for most of us here that we really appreciate all that you do!
Thank you very much! I appreciate this!
Legend, great topic as always. I recently became single a week ago. My strategy is focus on my business, bettering myself and reconnecting with friends I hadn’t seen for a bit
Keep busy , gardening a great way to stay busy and productive. The Home Depot garden section is a great place to go, great plants and nice people
Some good advice. I've booked my first solo city trip. I'm a little anxious but excited at the same time. I'm almost 50, single and hopefully start a new chapter in my life. I still find it hard to go to bar's on my own though. Small steps I guess! 😕
Good advice, and I think the key is to admit that part of our health depends upon a minimum amount of consistent, daily social interaction that adds up over the weeks, months and years. So take a daily bus ride to the local library for a few hours, doing some work there, try to spread shopping over the week, spend money in a way that's of use to the community etc. Knowing that our activity helps the community reacts positively upon our own sense of well being.
Recently separated with my missus and feeling both loneliness and boredom. Feels like this video is for me. Thanks
You’re very welcome! Thank you for watching!
This video hit home right away. Thank you for taking time to talk about loneliness. LEGEND
Legend!
Legend. Another great video, John. One issue I have is eating out of boredom. I've gained a lot weight because of it. 😕
There you go, you recognized your problem. You can change it, and other things will fall into place after.
Well put together John
Loneness is cruel at any age.
Thank you for the ideas and help! :)
Hi John. Coming out of a pandemic and divorcing prior at 39. The timing of this couldn't have been better! Your more than fashion, giving damn good wisdom too. Much appreciated Steve Sydney. Aus
Legend. I think there’s an important detail to add. Going to bar alone can be lots of fun but you have to keep an open mind. I’ve seen people alone at bars looking like they are a million miles away. It’s hard to strike up a conversation with those people. I recently went to a bar alone while traveling and had a blast with one of the locals, but I was up for anything and I think it showed.
Exactly!
Gardening is a fantastic activity for boredom. Legend!
I can understand how boredom could be a thing in the past but we have so many things we could do today that there is no time to be bored that is just lack of thinking
Legend. I moved from UK to Chicago and apart from my work colleagues and I did not know anyone. I confided in one of my female colleagues who told me think of it like strings of pearls. She said do not think about the string but think about the next pearl. The next pearl can be anything going shopping, cook a nice meal, going for a drink, going to a Museum. They don’t have to be major things they can be very small simple things. She told me not to look at the string part but always look forward to the next pearl.
Thanks John, interesting topic. I certainly feel lonely at times as I live quite a way from family and friends. I’m working to mover closer soon but you are so right about getting out when you feel bored and lonely. I had a really great afternoon out exploring a part of Sheffield new to me, enjoyed great coffee, chatted to some folks and did a bit of retail therapy including some nice wines. Thanks for your videos you are a legend😃
Legend
You can still feel lonely even when you are married! I have experienced it, and it's sometimes harder to say yes when you are married.
True!
Legend… I’m in the same boat & with time I found been alone is a blessing!
Thanks for the video and great advise!
Thanks for another LEGENDARY video John. I recently experienced some pretty deep feelings of loneliness because I thought I didn’t really have any close friendships. I thought that my friendships were more like acquaintances. I tried reaching out to some people and it helped me realize that I do have close friends. I just wasn’t taking advantage of talking/visiting with them.
Love it Phillip!
Legend...
Great video, boredom and loneliness have almost become my norm. I'm really trying to break out.
Thanks for the ideas.
You’re welcome Mike! Thanks for watching!
Legend! Great video as always. I guess 'm lucky that I am rarely bored or lonely, but I do get restless at times. Sometimes I have to remind myself that it's okay to take it easy and not do something all the time.
Thanks again.
Thanks for taking this subject on, John. I can relate and your advice is inspiring.
Great video along with great ideas. Just get up off the couch or bed and put the phone down. Get outside and walk or do something around the house. There is always something to be cleaned in the house. Main thing is like you said just find something to do. It's to easy to say "oh I can do that later or I don't feel like it right now" that is a defeatist attitude so get off your ass and do it, just do it. You'll thank yourself In the long run and feel better to boot. Thanks again for the video!
Thanks for commenting Michael!
Great topic and takes a brave person to bring the subject up and admit it. You can be lonely in the middle of nowhere or in a major city, it is just how you deal with it that counts. As always a great look book
Wow John, next level advice! I’m married and I love my wife dearly, but my wife has stage four cancer and I hope she has many years with me but God for bid if it’s less time then what you said in this video I will remember.
Legend
I've been feeling bored for a while now, I think I need new challenges at work. And in my personal life.
Legend. Another great video. Men over the age of 50 are more at risk for harmful behaviors. Sound advice for all especially those at risk.
Legend.
Lot of what you said is right and articulates what I do. I’m also going to quit my boring as shit job and go into self employment and hustle. Hopefully that’s going to open heaps of new opportunities.
Hello John. Thank you for this wonderful video. I have been feeling lonely for some time now. Even though I keep working and trying to cope with the daily routine. My job is not challenging anymore, actually, I am feeling bored too. I decided to take early retirement and look for better chances....professionally and personally. It is difficult to admit it. Guess what? I am looking forward to the new journey that I will take! Thanks again for this great video, we all need sometimes to be reminded that we have a choice in life and where we are heading. Stay safe and have fun! Cheers.
Thanks for commenting! Cheers!
John, you just described me to a T. I am lonely without meaningful relationships. Thanks for choosing this topic. Mike
Legend🤩
Good evening, John.
Very good topic indeed. Thank you very much for taking the time to compile this video.
Being a bachelor loneliness and boredom have been my constant companion on and off. As you know an idle mind is a devil's workshop. So I do keep myself occupied with something or the other.
Take care, John. God bless.
Much love
Ravi
From South Indis.
Legend
Great video, John. Very poignant and heartfelt. I'm sure many can relate, and many others will be helped.
I did a degree in my dotage. That took care of the board and problem for me for quite a long time,, considering even with fees being much lower in NZ I could only afford one course a year. In fact I got a few extra ones in because they vaguely forgot about me - but this year I'm being forced to graduate which is a shame. I did all sorts of courses, some of which perhaps might appear boring on the surface, but I found that the deep you get into a subject the less boring it is. And being older and with life experience did wonders for my grades. My last three courses I averaged over 90%. Doing better than most of the young people helps to cheer you up as well. :)
This video couldn't had come in s better moment for me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart
Thanks for watching!
For a lot of us. 👍
Great Video John - Legend
Always better to be doing something positive to occupy your available time - I completely agree.
Good advice. I’m in my late 60s and divorced. I’d like to see more on this sort of topic.
When I'm bored I have 2 things I do. I will play golf. I nearly always get matched with 1, 2, or 3 other players. I have played with 100s of strangers in my life. I've met many interesting characters and have memories of those times. A few became friends. The other thing I like to do is get in the car and drive to the beach, mountains, or desert depending on the time of year. Usually, that leads to unexpected experiences.
Love it! Thanks for commenting!
Hey John, great suggestions. I have one to add: take up a hobby. Out of boredom I discovered an interest in mens fashion ( including your channel ), watches and architecture at the legendary age of 62. Guess an old dog can learn something new!
What a great video 10++
I feel I have been blessed with three life long close friends. Can share anything. However, in the last three years two have passed from leukemia and the other one has Alzheimers. So here I am 61 having to start over. And I'm in a new city ( Naples) where I don't know anybody.
It's been depressing.
I need to belly up and put on my extrovert face and jump in.
I'm also going to reach out to your sponsor today.
Perfect timing. I need some clarity and a kick in the butt. Thank you.
Stephen/Naples
Thank you for watching Robert!
Great video John! Therapy and writing down things I love to do has kept me busy on a daily basis have changed my life the past year. Have a great weekend. #legend
Turning 50, this year, I've never truly been "alone", I'm single. Mother keeps me company, as annoying as she can be.( I live with her, dad passed away). So when she goes, I will likely have a harder time if it. I got used to not having a friend, to regularly hang out with, quite sometime ago. I guess I was lucky, in that I never lost my job, during the pandemic, so I still had coworkers to interact with. In the past, some of us went to dinner theater together, but when it comes to the staff Xmas party, I'd rather not go. It's odd, I know.
I’m Same as you I’m 55 live with mum as she got cancer, I go work which I hate and can’t stand most that works there . Few years ago we all used go out ect but now it’s only really Xmas and birthdays but Blowing them out as a few that I don’t like go and it makes me feel uncomfortable in their company. You’re not alone have a great day and look after yourself 🙏🏼
@@Lamby1010 Sounds like we live similar lives. Basically, I'm the house lackey, because mum can't physically do much. I learned to accept it. Accepting life, with some humor, helps. Take care.
@@robertmaxa6631 That’s not life you have accepted. It’s death.
Where did you get your identity from?
@@freshliving4199 We all die sometime. I went to school with someone, who, on the surface, had everything to live for. They are no longer with us, yet, I'm still here.
@@freshliving4199 Identify? You know, I never consciously gave it any thought. I first heard about this, when Jordan Peterson talked about " identity politics". I don't understand the preoccupation with " identity".
Legend 😉 There are many self-help videos right here on YT , that can stimulate the mind in positive directions
Such an important topic. Great job on delivering the message, John.
Thank you!
Thanks for this video , i am dealing with loneliness but i don't know that not dealing properly with loneliness can lead to the things you stated like anxiety , sleeping disorder and more recently i develop High Blood pressure , i should be more organise now and try some innovative things to keep myself busy
Legend as always John, I plan my home life as a do my work life with a list of stuff to do. It keeps me focused and gives a great feeling when you cross it off. Great video and as ever great sharing. If only I was closer I would be round to go and check out that winery with you.
I believe some peoples aspect of their tempo mental personality lends to them feeling a sense of boredom more than others. And I think that is something important to recognize the personality within your own mind and how it operates. I personally never get bored! And even if it seems like I’m not doing anything much, I’m busy in my own thoughts and mindscape. There are always a number of things also I can do and and I just go do one of endless things I find pleasure in doing. Sometimes it’s also just going for a walk all by myself in the park and to just enjoy the serenity of nature and ponder some more as I go on my walk. I’m more than sure someone knows that personality. However, I’m never at all bored!
Thanks for commenting!
Thank you
Legend. Thanks John. Fantastic tips.
Great video! Also, I totally agree: 6 Underground sucks!
Haha!
Thanks legend! Your videos are always great and keep getting better!
Legend, dude! Thanks for another great video.
Thank you very much!
Legend: Great talk! Dancing 💃 Gung Fu always keep me happy 😆! Meeting new girls (women) thanks!
Legend!!! You are a Legend John!!!
Yeah great topic it's hard when you reach 50 I am with people but lonely
Great topic. Thank you John.
Legend. Great topic with some great tips John. Thanks as always mate 😀
legend , Good to see your mixer went off well from OZ .
It's interesting that someone with your background also feels this way. I fit the bill but I am in the autism spectrum (Asperger's), poor and I just don't socialize like "normal people". I just had to learn how how to live isolated. I don't feel motivation to go out and "do things" because the expense is always much larger than the benefit I obtain from those "experiences". When younger there was a "novelty element" attached to those activities that's just not there anymore and I can't afford to make a leap to experience things that would be novel to me because they're out of reach (mostly financially). I might enjoy a "first class lifestyle" if I could afford it without feeling the burden of the expenses but I don't enjoy just "going out somewhere affordable" (or free activities). Good things have a price for a reason and I wouldn't mess my finances just to have a better lifestyle. Socialization also tends to be quite disappointing to me, but I don't blame it on the others, I am just not well "wired", there's always a substantial asymmetry on my interactions and/or I am locked out of a scenario where I'd be able to integrate well. I wasn't competent to ascend socially, therefore I am stuck. I failed and it's too late for me. I am tired and on cruise control towards my final decades (?). I hope you can find a context that makes you happier with the tools within your reach. Alone or not alone, you don't need to bury yourself in work if you can afford to have (proper/enjoyable) fun.
Thank you John, legend.
Legend!
Another great video and one I really connect with. Keep up the good work. You are making a difference in people's lives.
Thank you Erik!
The movie clip you showed is a good action movie 🙂
My city had our summer festival on the weekend. I'm single and lonely and bored. I'm walking around and after a bit of time I'm noticing the older guys just like me walking around alone up and down the street over and over. I was doing the same thing . I want to be in a relationship so much but I couldn't handle being tossed away yet again. I would go off the deep end and probably do something very stupid 😔
I’m very lucky. I’m 42 and went MGTOW at age 38 after I left my girlfriend and moved to another state. Haven’t been on a date since because the women interested in me are not up to my standards and the ones I’m interested are taken or not interested in me.
I met a friend at work who is 33 and single and we share hiking, women, food, and fashion as common interests. We go out weekly, to hike, eat, or go to the bars. He has a gf and 2 side chicks so I’m mentoring him in red pill and female nature and it is helping him manage his women.
I also had a really good therapist at the VA who was interested in my life and well being during Covid before me and my friend started to really get close. Unfortunately she retired.
I agree with everything in this vid. The loneliness can get you depressed. It’s important for your mental health to have someone to confide in so you won’t feel lonely.
Thanks Legend! Helpful and hopeful
Good stuff 👏 thanks for sharing this video
A lot of people for some reason think that being bored is the worse thing in the world, it's not. It is time to reflect and to recharge your batteries, so to speak. There are times when you just need to rest and do absolutely nothing, there's nothing wrong with that. As far as counseling is concerned, I'm on the fence about that one. I would recommend reaching out to friends first, your real friends will tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear. If you don't have those types of friends and you are in a state of loneliness more so than not, then counseling might be for you.
Just the video I needed right now. Cheers.
Thank you for watching Ray!
Hi,nice topic & good video ,john
Thank you!
I can relate to sooooo much of this at the moment, great informative video thank you for sharing....
Thank you Brian!
Solid points.
Legend.
A cat/dog helps a lot with overcoming loneliness. The pet will be happy to see you when you come home, relies on you for everyday life. They will be with you when you want and give you space when you need. Of course a pet isn't a replacement for human interaction but a pet is a wonderful way to coupe with loneliness and boredom.
Would it be an idea to produce a video on table manners or manners in general... in order to raise self-confidence, e.g. when backtracking to normal life after a loss.
Gentleman style and Gentleman life! ... The world needs self-confident Gentlemen!
Cheers from Zurich, Robert
Hey Robert! Yes, I have already made a video about table manners, check out my channel to see it
#legend appreciate the helpful suggestions I live alone and find that being by myself can be a real challenge which then precludes being bored will definitely take what you have offered to help cure loneliness and boredom under advisement thanks for sharing
Thank you for commenting!
LEGEND good video
Great Job!! Legend!!
Thank you!
Legend
Great video just what I needed.
Thank you!
This is another great video, John. Have you thought about writing a book? I think it would be a great thing.
Thanks Jason!
Very good advice
Thank you!
You are both stylish and wise sir! :-)
Thank you!
Legend. Good video
Thank you!
Such a needed video!! Sending to my guy tribe! 💖🙏💖
Thank you!
Legend...
Legend, great content!
Thank you!
With loneliness comes freedom. A freedom to geaux where u want when u want.
I think a simple but not well understood point that alot of men over 40 need to better understand or hear more often is that in today's ever changing dating landscape where trends and preferences are for people to date younger and look good regardless of the age, older guys who want to interact and hopefully attract a younger women, maybe a guy in his 40s is interested in a young women in her late 20s early 30s, that younger women today are immediately going to want, assume and frankly expect that an older guy to be in good shape, to have that grown up strong body.
Alot of guys focus their game on fashion and accessories and they look good but underneath all that is a beer belly and love handles and an overall unathletic body, so focus on the clothes and look but more importantly make sure your looking and feeling good underneath, because younger guys up and coming today in this social media world have always worked out and trained vs the older generation who didnt always stay in shape. I'm 35 going on 36 and am now back in the best shape of my life and thats allowed me to engage with younger women, sometimes a decade younger because they like my slightly older style but enjoy that I am fit and in shape like younger guys closer to her age.