More Multiples Than You Think: Discussing OSDD-1a and OSDD-1b
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- Опубліковано 30 вер 2024
- Don't forget to post about #SystemPrideDay!
Want to read more about OSDD-1? Here are some resources.
did-research.or...
www.healthypla...
traumadissociat...
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We are aware that there is hissing in the audio and that the audio is only present in the left earbud. It is a microphone malfunction and we are looking into how to fix it. Ideally we’ll be getting a new microphone soon. Please bear with us in the mean time. -Kim Kim
Ohhhhh that's what's happening hahaha
Lmao I was only wearing my right earbud and I was so confused
-Alex
Hi :) I would love to read more about osdd1 but my google search showed me very little . Do you have any material on that? could you post a link somewhere please? Thank you and greestings from Chile
Thank god. I thought my headphone broken and already think to buy a new one hahaha
P/s Love to see your transformation and also good luck to those who celebrating System Pride Day! :)
I’ll post OSDD resources in the description -Wyn
I love your new hair color! Your shirt is also kick ass! Also my system thanks you so much for making this channel. People like you guys have helped A LOT in us becoming comfortable with being open about our D.I.D. we can't express enough gratitude! Blessed Be from the Pendragon System!
Ouch. I do have something like "different parts of self". The most distinct is the 8-year-old me, with whom I recently had an interaction and co-experienced a flashback, as my psychologist explained it to me. My psychologist tried to talk to me about the possibility of dissociative disorder but, being a smartass, I just brushed it aside "because I have no memory gaps". Thanks, I'm going to look into it now.
wow. I always felt I had similarities with DID but never thought I had it 'full blown'. Thank you for bringing these diagnoses to my attention! I'm definitely going to talk to my therapist about OSDD-1b!!
Me too. I think I'm finally finding my way
I honestly feel the same way. As a spirit worker, I always thought there were supernatural explanations for everything. But.... the universe is leading me towards learning about my trauma and trying to heal from that, so to think it might be leading me towards something like this makes a lot of sense. Hopefully I will come to terms with it one day.
I might try it too...!
same! i finally started to figure things out last year thanks to an article i found about osdd-1b and it's been super helpful
You literally too the words out of my mouth... But yesss thankyou so much for making this videooo
I have OSDD-1b
Thank you for covering my system's disorder!! I have been accused for faking multiple times simply because my disorder manifests differently than those with DID
SAME
same here. I don't have any amnesia between alters
That’s the same thing with us
SAME
Same!!
I never knew OSDD-1B was a thing yet I always experienced it. I thought I was just making shit up cause I didn't get amnesia between alters. But my whole personality changes, the way I walk changes, my sexuality changes even my posture changes with each alter... I'm actually crying. This gave me a massive realization about myself. I guess I can't be 100% sure until I get a full diagnosis. If you have any advice please let me know and yes I will be getting a full evaluation soon. I already know not to self diagnose without contacting a professional about it
I love how the dark tones in your hair really bring out your eyes
OSDD 1b system here, pretty much everyone is some level of cocon at any given moment and it can be really disorienting and invalidating (especially with the "am I faking?" thing) so thank you so so much for talking about that, we love you! ❤️❤️❤️
-Alex
I'm not the only one?! Omg, this is world changing! Thank you!
😃👍❤
Same with us! -Darla
Haborym - for us, all of us share the same memories this is only for OSDD-1b systems though. For DID and OSDD-1a there is usually amnesia between alters.
George Robins I'm gonna cry
I'm really gunna cry
This makes so much sense for me now
I always thought.. what if I made it all up in my head to comfort myself, I mean others have dissociative amnesia and forget what's happened when they switch., why don't I?
I've never been diagnosed but I'm pretty sure I do
And it's really really hard for me to know who's who and even they don't know if that's them because all of our memories are one.. it's so so hard and kinda scary at the same time.. like you've got all these people that don't know who they are and can't stick with a name but don't feel comfortable with my name
Can someone please help me by answering my questions? :(
One other thing.. no one seems to have their own kind of past, many people have their own memories and traumas but mine is all a mash of everything and it's hard to know what one specific alter is front sometimes cuz it's so sloppy and mixed up *sigh*
Same for me a lot of the time
Thank you for the recognition! We're an OSDD1b system and we struggle to find recognition and acceptance even within the multiple community. We need more videos like this from DID systems since there are tons of systems out there lost and confused because they dont have DID but dont know about OSDD. I hope this reaches some of those people. For system pride day our alter Alfie is gonna start his own channel to add our experience to the community to hopefully help even more people
Me too!!
I wish there was more content about osdd1a. I know it's more discreet than osdd1b and tends to go undetected but I'd like to hear someone's testimony on living with it.
Sometimes I feel like osdd1 with amnesia and sometimes I feel like osddb cause I can remember sometimes and then other times I feel like did but the dissociative amnesia the grey outs black outs getting lost in a simple conversation depersonalization and sometimes not recognizing familiar surroundings, yeah I have all that I also have experienced lost time . I’m just confused on what kind of system I actually am
@@KellykellzGarrett Why do I want to call that OSDD -1Ab or sum? I hope you figured it out though!
In honor of System Pride Day, I'm pulling on my big girl britches and finally going to a psychologist! I've been trying to ignore my symptoms for the longest time, and now it's finally time to get the help I need and deserve to make sure it's not as bad as my brain is making it out to be.
Also love the hair!
congrats!! its hard as hell, but i hope it helps you!
U GO GURL
Maybe I'll try too
How’s it going?
Someone with OSDD 1a here. I really needed to see this video. Incredibly informative and validating and I feel much less alone now x
I'm so glad I've found someone with 1a in the comments! Can I ask you a question or two about it?
OSDD-1a sounds so much like the way I describe myself that it's a little bit terrifying.
I'm also curious, I have OSDD 1b myself but suspect my mum might have Ia
hi do u have any contact info? like an email, im suspecting I might have ossd1a but my psychiatrist won't believe me and I really need help asap
@@desireedignadice4542 show them disosiadid,they helped me 100% belive/show not perfect for cameras.
It's really frustrating because my therapist diagnosed me with DID, but I would come closer to considering it OSDD1-b. The problem is, my therapist is not super well-versed in dissociative disorders, so I had to explain to her what the difference even was between the two. But DID is my diagnosis, and it's an easier shorthand to use, so that's what I tell people. Maybe I shouldn't though...it's complicated.
Is it possible for you to see a different therapist (either now or in the future) who might be better equipped to work with you? They are similar so I don't think there's anything wrong with you using DID as shorthand - but I'm not part of a system so I'm not sure if I have a right to say that? For me it seems equivalent to me saying that I'm bisexual when I don't feel like having to explain what pansexual means to someone who doesn't know much about sexuality. Would it be ideal to always be perfectly accurate? Sure. But sometimes taking the easier route is better for both you and the person you're talking to so that they can reach SOME level of understanding. You can always get more specific later! Hope that helps at all?
@@azuradawn5683 I would never dream of finding a new therapist, I love the one I have now. I have thought about trying to see a specialist, but money is tight and my parents wouldn't pay for it.
I’m really glad that you feel comfortable challenging and discussing your diagnosis with your therapist.
I don't think it's a problem that you're using 'DID' in this situation. You don't owe anyone an explanation and you're not lying. Or just say osdd-ib and go with that if that feels better (: however you choose to do, I assure you that you're not doing anything wrong
we're osdd-1, and it feels really good to see a bigger system on youtube covering it !!
Mona Alrefai aljandali 24 technically osdd-1 is the complete diagnosis! 1A and 1B come from when the disorder was called DDNOS. As of the DSM-V it’s just OSDD-1 and most people fall into categories that align with DDNOS-1A or 1B, but some people have a mix of symptoms (amnesia for one poorly differentiated alter only, for example, or amnesiac periods of time without a large amount of day to day amnesia) and just have OSDD-1, no subtype. There aren’t official subtypes as it’s written in the DSM-V, but they’re something that the community and many therapists use because it’s a useful way for many people to categorize their experiences.
We're so excited to hear you talk about this! We are a 1B system, and for a really long time we didn't know that was even a thing. We knew we were a system, but we didn't quite match up with DID and nobody was talking about OSDD. It caused a ton of insecurity and denial.
We still aren't out about being a system, but Annedrew is planning on making a subtle bracelet for us to wear 😊
We're a 1a system, and it seems like there's very few people talking about it on UA-cam, and even less (maybe none) who are 1a systems themselves. We've started making videos to try and fix that, but it's difficult. I hope that more people get to learn about the full spectrum of dissociative disorders, including the rarer ones.
Oh if only your account was still active 😿 if you are I'd love to ask questions! Although it's your choice, if you see this you don't hav'ta!
Thank you for so much for talking about this!!! I have OSDD1B and I've always felt "fake" because of the ease of contact I have with my alters - I've always felt that since I can contact them easily, I must just be "talking to myself" like an elaborate roleplay where I play both parts. But just hearing you say that it's "much easier for the whole system to be coconscious at the same time" was powerful enough to make me tear up. I never imagined something as simple as that would make me so emotional but it's so incredibly validating to hear this because I never really get to hear from OSDD systems on UA-cam, so I always get so caught up in how different I present than a DID system (which makes sense cus that's not what we are haha) but yeah! Thank you for talking about OSDD systems, I never hear about them and it really just means a lot ♥️
Like this?=it doesnt happen when i want/feel for it.
For years I've felt I've had a dissociative identity disorder because I have alters, but I had no amnesia and am aware of what's going on at all times, so I thought maybe I was faking and have never brought it up with anyone in fear of being called a poser or a faker doing it for attention. Thanks to this video I'll soon be going to a therapist to get help. Thank you.
Thanks for this video Wynn!! I've been waiting for see you talking about this. I tell you that at this moment I am looking to be diagnosed with OSDD-1b, so wish me luck!!! -Kim
Good luck !
@@wonderlandisalanguage9646 Thanks c:
Same, actually! Good luck to you!
I *knew* I experienced dissociative _states_ and I desperately tried to relate this information to my old therapist, but couldn't provide much context because it was incredibly hard (if not impossible) to describe in any graspable manner how I was going through personality _shifts_ rather than *switches* , and how my memory seemed to partially sway and move, but I couldn't report any specific losses in hard time frames. I could recall (though as if from very far away) that, 'some time' ago, I had been living in a very different "incarnation" for at least half a year and that it was like a different writer was taking over the job of writing my thought monologue every once in a while, but I was in no doubt that those had been >my< thoughts. I couldn't ever foretell how I would react to situation and the dissociative moments seemed to come in very different shapes and sizes, and so rarely that I wasn't sure if it was even worthy of being considered for anything. Also, though I knew I had "been different" "then", I would absolutely not be able to remember the actual feeling of what it was like living that "other" life "before". I never found myself at the start of being new "again", but in the middle of it. I thought I was made up of more contradictions than the average person (an endless pile of wild impossible combinations and contrasting characteristics), but then I also do a lot of art and I figured all the self-study that is a part of the art process just made me see my uniquenesses more clearly. The therapist was as confused and overwhelmed and eventually I left because his "stirring" around in whatever my issues were made me more disorganized. They couldn't even >really< detect my trauma because of the stark detachment between my thoughts and particular slices of my emotions. I didn't seem to truly match PTSD and I absolutely didn't match BPD and it looked like it might be CPTSD but the patterns in personality states didn't fully match, and we all missed the emotional triggers because there were no flashbacks. I didn't find a new therapist the following two years, and when I auditioned, I kept being referred due to my case being either: too complicated and strange, or: not in need of treatment due to seeming highly functional. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder which I absolutely fit the bill for THEN. It's a chronic disorder. How can I have it for three years straight and then not have it at all through other long stretches of time?! They couldn't explain it, I couldn't explain it, I didn't benefit from the medication. They added ADHD to my very colourful weird diagnostic catalogue. Out of therapy, I tried my best to just survive and carry on as best as I could, following my college degree. For college, I started researching DID out of interest, with the intention of writing an essay and no second thoughts. I had been trying to find a topic that was >not< related to my personal life at all, but that seemed "relatable enough" to understand the matter. I kept digging and realized I couldn't write the essay, because it hit closer to home than any of my previous guesswork diagnoses, *although* I definitely knew I couldn't have separate personalities. Everything I am is somewhat congruent in identity, and although I have a hard time finding my body I never disagree that it's mine. Some of my moral values oscillate, as do my intro/extraversion, handwriting, choice of key activities or art mediums, and friendships. Through the new diagnostic trial for ADHD they put me through in early 2019, doctors noted the presence of dissociation as an odd addition and noted that as 'suspicion of dissociative disorder, unspecified' when I kept reporting that I was most afraid of this weird symptom complex. This week, I finally got a new place in therapy, it's a cognitive behavioral therapist and I'm unsure if she has any knowledge of the matter because she's new in the career, but well, I'll see what comes off the next few weeks. Through the first meeting and the transfer records, I learnt that OSDD, with a question mark, is officially a part of my record now. It feels like a big deal. Although, simultaneously, I'm more unsure of anything and everything than ever. At least I finally have a clue why I've been so periodically obsessed with self-portraiture since the teen age daze and any form of memory documentation, and why that's always connected to a sense of time running. That's a start?
In hindsight, it feels so tragically-beautifully-touchingly _on point_ that my earliest analogies for my affliction were "I am the shards of a mirror and no one understands it's one piece" and "I feel somehow larger than my name" and I finally have an inkling of what that MEANS! It justifies what I wasn't sure I was making up as maybe some 28-year-long fever dream of ongoing performance art.
This is literally my same experience ❤
I screamed THANK YOU!! As soon as I saw the notification for this video today.
I've been struggling to see where I could actually fit with my diagnoses as I hit all criteria for DID but our internal communication isn't too great (building slowly), my headmates all seem to be slightly more evolved versions of myself (I guess that's true in most cases to some degree?), I experience more passive influence than switching, and my co-con abilities/ amnesia between alters are always changing.
We are a newly 'outted' system and have only just started trauma work so I know that many of these things may change but finding the right label is so painful, you never feel quite good enough in one spot because it's SO DIFFERENT for every system.
We only have about 7 or so known alters but 4 core so that alone makes us feel lesser as a system in a way.
Thabk you so much for shedding light on this topic, you and your system give us so much hope and honestly you all seem like great friends to us after watching for nearly a year.
Keep up the great work and love and good vibes always! (Ps the hair is bloody amazing!) 💖💖💖
Renee.
I hate the conception that fewer alters make you some sort of lesser system somehow. I prefer to think that you don’t have a boatload because the ones you _do_ have do the jobs they were created for _so well_ that your mind didn’t need to make others. Someone else’s trauma isn’t ‘worse’ or their system somehow ‘better’ or more legitimate because they have half a dozen protectors-your protector is just aces at what they do! (No shade to folks with more than one-I have 3 myself and they’re good at their respective jobs, but if I’m being 100% honest they could probably fuse/integrate and be just as good-maybe better😂)
I know this is an old comment and you may not see it, but that’s my take on things.
Love your hair!
We need to think what to do for #SystemPrideDay!!
We really identify with OSDD 1b, but that may change if we contact the fragments and they share their own experiences of the time we lost. But in the community we say we have DID or partial DID (like in ICD 11), because many people still don't understand the OSDD definition.
But more importantly, thank you so much for this video!!! I haven't been diagnosed with DID or OSDD1a or b - I think partly because I'm so early into my treatment they're still figuring out all the symptoms I actually have - I know I definitely haven't managed to tell them everything I go through because I forget once the hardest/more distressing parts are over (I have to rely on diary entries or people around me to keep me straight on what happened and what I was feeling). I'm currently being treated for CPTSD, but I do relate heavily to DID symptoms and knowing about OSDD-1a and OSDD-1b really enlightened me about the many forms dissociation can take and has made my experiences feel much more valid. While discussing my struggles with a friend of mine who does have DID I've always expressed the fear that I'm just "faking", worrying that other people would believe that and also believe it myself when I'm not experiencing great distress because of my symptoms in large part because I don't have all the DID key symptoms. I'm just really glad there's more to this than I'd ever realised - thank you again for educating us all!
I relate so much! I also forget once the hard parts are over... or I remember but can not Imagine having actually felt the way I did because it seems so diffrent to the "now". It´s like I know what happened/what I felt but I can´t believe it. And then I´m wondering if I´m not just imagining it after all...
@@lilliput112
@@HandWarmingRobot13 Thank you to both of you because I have been struggling for YEARS to articulate this to my therapist (also friends, family, etc.) and have never been able to put my finger on what exactly was happening, but this is it. I just found out about dissociative disorders other than DID today, and it's really hit me that this is finally a diagnosis that could actually encompass all my symptoms. I'm not able to see my therapist for a couple weeks (scheduling and money are hard) but I'm definitely going to talk to him about this and I'm saving this comment to show him because it so well sums up how I feel!
@@jessicakelly1878 I'm so glad we were able to help! xx
I'm so excited for system pride day, and I'm glad it falls in my birth month. I'm not sure what I'm going to do to celebrate, but I know I wanna make it big.
I've been accused of faking for a variety of reasons. One person thought that personalities are never aware of aware of each other making it supposedly impossible for me to know they exist. Others seem to think that alters only pop out randomly and didn't believe me because they had never seen me triggered. Others seem to thing the idea of triggers is just a made up SJW buzz word... Which they have kinda misused that term as I was using it long before them for actual personalty triggers not just because I'm offended by something.
Anyway I just recently found out this was a thing and while a know a couple people with split personalities I don't know anyone like me with more than two parts. I only just kinda stumbled into this community because Harrey found it when he was out and now suddenly my recommended video feed is flooded with all kinds of channels like this.
I'm not generally this open about my alters except around other people with alters cause normies generally don't believe me or they do but make very little effort to understand me. It's hard to talk about it openly if I'm feeling like an outcast because of it.
I've started hearing voices in my head that are not mine and with whom I can have actual conversations and they're not only telling me what to do so I don't think it's schizophrenia. I've been thinking I might have OSDD for a while because I've been diagnosed with depersonalization but my symptoms don't really fit depersonalization critetias and don't fit DID either but do you think I could have convinced myself enough that I actually start having symptoms of it without actually having it ?
I've been questioning a little too. I used to take meds after telling a counselor about "voices" but I figured I must've been mistaking it for internal monologue or took character building too far. The whole thing died down and I stopped treatment. I hate medicine. Now it's like one of them came back. It's on and off. I want to explain my thinking process but it's hard not to mention the influence of another thought stream.
I’m super late but I definitely can relate to what you are saying. I’ve been trying to look for the answer and I think I’m closer. For a while I’ve always known I wasn’t the only one there in my head. I thought maybe it was my Maladaptive Daydreaming but It was so much more because they have there own thoughts and opinions. I have conversations with one of them the most and this one also tells me what to do. I will be talking and this other “character?” Will respond to me. And I’ll switch back and forth between having conversations. I don’t know but I think I should talk to someone because I tried to explain it to my mom but She just couldn’t understand. I say We and Our and I feel comfortable with that. But sometimes I’ll say I and Mine. I’m not sure what’s wrong but I only know of 1 main “character” the most and I haven’t done any further digging to find out if there are others. Besides from the Main I have others that have opinions or I will say something that I necessarily didn’t say and I will respond. Or sometimes it’s in a totally different voice. Maybe I’m overthinking things but Idk I think I should talk to someone and see if they can help me figure this out.
OMG, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE, LOVE THE HAIR! I WANT THAT HAIR!
Hi there! We’re an OSDD-1B system! Thank you so so much for talking about this. We only discovered that we’re a system this past summer, and this has been so educational for us.
We had another OSDD system friend sit with us (after talking about how we suspected we might be a system, wanted to try and bring someone forward), and they brought forward our main protector, who when asked about his memories, simply said that he had all of my (the host) memories.
The whole system being co-conscious makes so much sense now, because often times even if I ‘step back’ and I’m ‘not present’, I still remember the things alters may have done in my place, maybe just not vividly.
This was truly a wonderful video, and I can’t wait to celebrate my first system pride day in 2024!!!
My girlfriend has D.I.D. and I can’t wait to help her celebrate pride day
Digging the hair! Did it take a lot of convincing for Daniel to agree to a more "girly" color?
This was really interesting! I'd love to hear more about other dissociative disorder. It also would be nice to talk about the differences between chronic dissociation like derealisation/depersonalisation and osdd. Thank you for being so open online and trying to educate about DID and mental heath. I love the new hair btw it looks great
Have you thought about doing more videos about your Wiccan faith? 🧡🖤
Thank you for this! My cousin with BPD was trying to explain to me her dissociation and how it's different from DID amd I was having a hard time understanding it. Even though you only touched on BPD, you mention of it along with the explanation of OSDD 1a and 1b really helped me figure it out.
Thank you for this educational video. I'm 36 days into self isolation and suddenly facing the reality that I most likely have OSDD1a. I'm terrified. idk how I made it to my mid 30's without really knowing or understanding what was happening to me. Now I have to start figuring out how to deal with this, while not having access to most of my mental health team. I have a trauma therapist who has been helping me for many years, and we have been doing video sessions during this outbreak. But I don't have the ability to see my new psychiatrist until this is all over. So I'm watching videos and trying to read medical journals or anything I can get my hands on in isolation. I just found your channel and I'm SO THANKFUL!!
I really feel like I might have osdd 1a because for years I've been describing myself as like being fragmented and each fragment is like an extreme version of my self, I remember describing a younger version of myself, a more confident version more authoritive version and others and I remember feeling really distinctive between them. I don't really feel it so much now however every so often I still notice it, I have a
Quiet a few gaps in my memories over the last few years and I don't know if its to do with it but I also didn't experience and trauma as a child is this possible? I've tried to talk to a professional but I didn't really realise this could be a thing until now. Thank you
Love the hair~ I’m rather interested in other types of dissociation too. I don’t know how much you know about them, but maybe a vid about these symptoms in borderline personality disorder and cptsd?
thank you so so much for covering osdd. ive learned that i have osdd 1b and its validating to see someone actually talk about it on youtube - i hadnt seen it done before! the stigma was so ingrained in me that i still hesitate on calling my system a... well... system, lol. so this made me feel valid af thanks
thank you for making this video!!! we have OSDD-1B and its nice to feel recognized!!! (though we often tell people we have DID since it's easier to explain, haha)
-Deena
I think we'd classify as OSDD1B. This makes a lot of sense since a lot of the time friiends would ask which one is fronting and we're unable to answer. so often we'll answer to Danny since she's the most prominant host, but if someone like myself (Sinra) is closer to front then I'll say it's me, but often we're just not sure.it makes more sense that we'd all be sharing conciousness at the same time.
Honestly this makes me wanna cry lmao,I've had DID systems curse me out saying I was "faking DID" when I have OSDD-1b...I thought they were my friends but they actually attacked me for this and gave me panic attacks...It was so bad it increased on my PTSD.Seeing this video actually makes me so happy.
I'm so very sorry that you've been treated this way. You are just as valid as any DID system and no one should try and tell you otherwise. -Wyn
@@TheEntropySystem Thank you so much it means a lot. ❤
Thank you, Wyn!! It's really hard to find info and support even within the did community on OSDD. I've yet to be professionally diagnosed past c-ptsd, but OSDD 1b is what fits my symptoms perfectly.
Us and our boyfriend are going to a lantern festival! We're super excited, especially because I designed a shirt that's about our system, tho its subtle to those who don't know us personally, and we're gonna wear it then!
Thank you so very much for doing a video about OSDD! We are an OSDD-1b system, and we greatly appreciate there being more information out there about it, especially covered by well known and amazing DID youtubers such as yourselves! Also we will be celebrating System Pride day by wearing our DID awareness scarf and System Pride button! We'll post some pics on our twitter! :) - Patchwork System
it's so weird to be still this reluctant to admit since im using a different account to hide my real identity in a pride video,, but ive been lowkey invalidating myself of mpd (now reintroduced to me as dissociative disorder) since i can remember when i feel i am different people so i thought i was just faking it and whenever i do i feel a bundle of upsets inside me until i saw osdd is a thing and i pretty much fit in the osdd1b description except that im undiagnosed. its hard to get diagnosed. ive been asking it for years but no one would take me seriously or listen to me and probably thought im being just a whiny bitch and im in no position to bring myself to it. but now recently some of my "feelings"(imsorry) alters are helping me push it, and ive been watching more videos like this to finally come in terms in fully accepting them. what i dropped using "we/us/them" to refer to the different part of myselves because of growing skepticism, im starting to use again. so i guess, aa.. thank you?
Omg your hair is gorgeous! 😍😁 my hair is blue fading to purple at the moment so I was quite excited to see your colour change haha anyways thank you so much for these educational videos - I don't have a dissociative disorder but I have learnt so much from your videos and it's wonderful to see how strong and well functioning your system is :)
I can‘t have any of these disorders, since I never experienced trauma (at least none that I know of, but I don‘t remember having any memory loss). Yet, there are always little things that keep reminding me of disorders like OSDD. Is there any other disorder in general that can have symptoms like these? For example, being completely different around different people (my therapist hates these “masks” I apparently have and constantly threatens to stop the therapy if I don’t stop). Issues like wanting something very badly and some other part of me wants the opposite. Example:
Trigger warning: s*lf h*rm
I want to work in 3D later in my life, it’s a passion, but for some reason I also feel like I NEED to go blind (?!). Then I lie in bed and pour chemicals in my eyes and don’t understand why the heck I’m doing this, since it will ruin everything (also, it never works, I’m probably doing something wrong).
Sometimes I hate people, sometimes I love them. Then I feel like I’m evil, think I’m the devil and want to become more evil. But then I hate myself for being so evil and want to give everyone my money and help everyone. Then again, I hate everyone for being better than me and want to show them I’m important too, with very attention seeking behaviour (I’m a very bad attention seeker and I hate myself for it).
So there’s that. I don’t understand myself. I can’t decide what to do because I want everything at once and at the same time just one thing of everything, but then other parts of me feel invalidated. I personally think I’m inventing all of this as another means to seek attention, but I want it to not be true so badly, and most of all, I want this to stop!
Thank you for making this video! As a system with suspected OSDD-1b who is seeking help right now and has parents who refuse to acknowledge our disorder because we aren’t quite DID, it made us feel validated and loved. Thank you so much once again. - The Fantasian (currently) Quintet
i have osdd-1b and always feel like somethings off, or that what im experiencing is normal and im just faking. i can only remember small fragments and feelings of my childhood trauma but can never remember my full childhood, its as if theres a fog covering my memories. but our system shares the same memories, and whenever we switch, most of us go in a state of panic because we don't know who's fronting. its really tiring.
That's how my childhood is, foggy and difficult to remember. It's like, do we even want to know?
Your hair looks amazing!! So excited for system pride!! 🧡🖤🧡🖤🧡🖤🧡🖤
OSDD1b here too!
Awesome new hair color!
Haiiiiirr!!! Loooove. Ok now gonna watch
after seven months of questioning whether or not i'm part of a system, i've come to the conclusion that i most likely am, because it's not at all uncommon for osdd-1 non-host alters to never front, which is what we experience. my alters influence me to do things they want to do, but never take full control of the body. it's almost like i become them due to the amount of blending and passive influence. i feel osdd-1b's lack of amnesia makes it harder to differentiate between parts, due to all of our constant blending. i, as the host, am constantly confused on who i am due to other parts being present, many of which are present almost 24/7. for example, i know one alter likes girls, but do *i* like girls, or is it just his feelings rubbing off on me? whose feelings are whose? whose thoughts are whose? i know i'm demisexual and grayromantic, but sexuality and gender? who knows. i'm just a person is what i prefer these days lol. in a way, finding out i'm part of a system made things less confusing and more confusing at the same time. because now i know why i'm constantly fluid between identities, but now i'm also confused onto whose feeling or thought or identity this is? mine? fabian's? burden's? another alter i don't know about or who doesn't come out often????
*internally screaming* ahhh!! I’m so excited for System pride day! Me and my system are very excited that something like this exist and we plan on going live on our Instagram page on that day ☺️☺️☺️
I sometimes have amnesia, sometimes dont, and sometimes when I do, memory sharing can happen.
WHAT THE HECK I LOVE YOUR HAIR SO MUCH. YOU ARE A MAGICAL GRAPE WOW
Thank you so much for this video! We are an undiagnosed osdd-1b system! This makes us feel so valid. We all have different names and ages but no amnesia! :-D It is hard when you are not beleived! So excited for system pride day!!!!- Amy
Looooving the hair. Ah I knew a bit about OSDD-1b but not much about 1a. K I'm bout to sound really ignorant so bare with. :p I was never really sure what they meant by no distinct personality states. I thought that just meant they dissociated and got amnesia and I struggled to see how that was different to just dissociating in general so the example you used was really helpful, Wyn. :) Really helpful video. -Ember
Hey! I know that this is an old comment, but there really isn't many resources about OSDD-1a anywhere. We're trying to change that - we're a 1a system making videos about our experiences. So maybe give us a watch - maybe you'll learn something new from us!
We think we might have osdd 1b, but we're so confused and unsure. It's like some of us believe it could be true and some of us think we're just making it all up. Some of us are scared to even try find out.
We would love to hear more about other systems experiences.
Thank you so much for this video! We have a question for anyone who reads this. Or more like an explanation on how we work. We think we’re “faking it” because we’ve TRIED to talk to our relatives and they say that “it’s just you talking to yourself.” Even now one of us (Mar) thinks we’re faking. We’re probably a 1b system but i don’t want to self diagnose us. There’s 4 of inside. So the question is; are we faking it? We all have our own opinions, names, talents and personalities. But, how our dad says, “it’s probably you just tlaking to yourself.” Vincent wrote this
Thank you Wynn, when I watch your videos of DID and your story of you finding out you have DID, I was like the same, I felt like I had DID, but again I felt like I didn't, because when an alter takes over I remember who was on front, so I thought I didn't have DID, and wondering what mental illness I had then, but now watching this video I just found out that I have OSDD-1b, thank you know now I'm more familiar with my experience, thank you so much Wynn. 😁😃🙂😊👍
Likewise Jestine
After I was given the diagnosis of DID in late 2015. At first did not inquire about the diagnosis beyond that one doctors appointment. Six or eight months later it was OK to look it up online but ONLY the definition. Since then it has been on again, off again, dissociative identity deciphering or mind mapping. Still don’t know which diagnosis I would be given if I were meeting with a specialist that was well-versed in all dissociative mental health issues.
Think I’ll continue with my own mind mapping. Hopefully I will find support and doing so.
Our system was literally having that conversation as your video popped up! :P We're not exactly diagnosed, but we keep an open mind that we could be suffering from OSDD rather than just DID. I'm looking forward to System Pride day
There is a flag! Wyn designed one and the community picked it up. If you look up the hashtag SystemPrideDay on Instagram you’ll see it. -Kim Kim
@@TheEntropySystem oh thank you! :)
i’m ready for outside to feel safe again, i want to be in a therapist’s office. i’m not struggling bad right now, i just want my stuff figured out. i’ve been through a lot, enough to potentially result in something along these lines happening in my own mind. during a lot of it i was called Lyssa (nickname off of Alyssa) in the household and every time i hear that name i get a little spacey and my head starts hurting, something my recently diagnosed friend says happens to them a lot. im diagnosed with complex PTSD but that’s all, and that was after my one (1) pre-corona visit. im so ready to unravel everything with someone who has a degree. my nana hasn’t been to anyone to get an official diagnosis, but i’ve talked to her about some things lately and she’s a lot more comfortable around me. she went through hell and then some so it was no surprise to me after i knew what DID was that she seemed to fall somewhere along its spectrum. it’s nice to see the level of comfort i’ve given her, she talks and responds to herself out loud a lot more. she says she feels like her ‘bits’ are all her, just slightly different versions: Sue, Suzie, Suze. recently i got her to stop calling the boss ‘the bitch’ and she’s been a LOT less volatile since. your videos (along with others in the community, but i especially enjoy yours) have helped me understand this topic so much and you’ve indirectly began helping my nana function better after ~60 years of scraping by. thank you so much for sharing your story and your knowledge with us, all of you❤️
Ok this is interesting I could never figure out why I was so high functioning running a buiseness and fundraising whatever so I'm OSDD 1B well I'll tell you one thing that wasn't said I always have 2 people fronting at the same time, if I'm really tired then it's possible for only one person to be out but 99% of my day is spent with me and an alter and it goes back and forth between us very smoothly I have several alters so this is really interesting
I have OSDD 1a. Thank you so much for this information. It was extremely validating and I don’t feel as ashamed anymore. 😢
oh thank goodness youve helped me understand wwho we are so much because ive done research but its all small text and hard to understand or inconsistant but you’re very clear. We arent diagnosed yet but we are very sure now (aka you helped confirm our suspicions) that we have OSDD1b! It matches us so much and we feel so validated omg. We’ve watched so many DID youtubers but felt like a faker (i felt) because we didnt experience like half of what you all talk about. Now i have something to feel comfortable and that i can understand! OSDD1b matches our system to a T!
Literally what I feel! This is it! We've been distressed about this for ages. It's been so hard. I'm so happy right now
This is great video. But what I want to know is- is it normal to be “found out” every now and then depending on your systems time structure? As In the “mask” that hides everything society seems abnormal falls off with no fault of
My own. Once people see that I have no true one identity I get ghostly looks from people. Specifically at my work.
I have OSDD 1B and it's kinda funny, mostly because I thought having up to 4 alters co-fronting at the same time was normal. We can all know what's going on all the time, unless one of us intentionally buries ourself way deep in the headspace. And we are always co-fronting with at least one other alter at a time. Right now it's the host (Angel), Stanley, and Alex out.
I have quite a bit of alters (one is extremely new-)
The Host (Angel)
Stanley Rendigs (19, is the protector)
Alex Houll (21, gatekeeper/constructor?)
Candii Frai (48, The mom basically, based off my actual mom. Calming and happy but has her moments.)
Star Butterfly (15, my only fictive, and my newest alter)
Clio Frai (5, was "Clio Fawn" until she was "adopted" by Candii)
Antony Cadence (3-11, The little that actually acts like a little)
There was Alania Mell, 17, but she integrated into Alex. Made Alex more emotional then he was, though Stanley was heart broken cause he lost his Girlfriend.
I'm awear this video was years ago but it helps me so much. I've recently come to terms with the fact I probably have OSDD - 1b and I will go to therapy soon maybe when I move out. A reason I didn't want to bealive I might have a type of system DID/OSDD was becuse of a "freind" who I feel pushed me into thinking about DID. I also have seen signs of BPD in my behavior recently. I can go from being the sweetest kid ever to being mad and rude to extreamly and dangrously happy. Thank you for all these videos you put out! ❤❤
Would it still be OSDD 1b if I cannot remember traumatic events? Even really long ones like abusive relationships? I feel like I’m a combo of both 1a and 1b. Because they are distinct personality types and I do talk...inside myself to myself lol. But it’s all me, I think. Maybe.
Thank you so much for the opportunity of knowledge in this type.. It's nice.. In my mind I have OSDD 1a is of more similar to me..
Thanks for this video! I was wondering what the differences were and this was very helpful. I have years long gaps in my memory for childhood/adolescence and feel that something is up. I just thought it was normal until friends would talk about their memory from their 6th birthday which was on a Tuesday and what meal they had and all that crap lol All I know is that I was once 6. I'm slowly realizing that I should see a professional about it since I do have a significant trauma memory from childhood that I remember. Until i can figure how to get that started these informational videos help!
I have a question: is it possible for different parts of someone w osdd-1a to have different species? Like, if my "normal self" identifies as otherkin but my "child self" identifies as human.
I was diagnosed with DID about a year ago, but have been confused as I don't have any obvious memory loss or other common symptoms of DID. Lately I've been watching videos by you and other systems and it's been comforting and has helped my understanding of myself. I'm pretty sure I'm suffering from 1b. Also, my Alters have manifested in ways I haven't heard about. They began when I was five or six years old as extensions of my most beloved stuffed animals. Then, they've just grown up and matured like all of me has. I'd like to meet other systems to share how we deal with our condition and such. I know this is an old video, but how do I find the on-line community of DID people? It would be nice to communicate with others that get what it's like to be me.
Oh my gosh thank you so much. I. Think I might have OSDD-1b and this has been so helpful
we got diagnosed as a system today!!!! we’re really happy about finally getting a diagnosis and thank you for this video -Alfie/Monika
Thank you for taking about this. I'm often accused of faking because we are an OSDD-1 not sure about the a or b part yet, but it's nice to see a video that doesn't make me feel illegitimate for having a system that works differently.
Thank you so much for this video! Watching Jane's TV show, I was like, "Wait a minute. Why does this sound so right?" Doing research, I decided that I wasn't DID, but knew I was something. Now I know there is something that explains what I experience. You are the first I've come across to speak on this, and I appreciate it. Now, time to talk to my doctor.
I'm finishing my first year of Clinical Psychology Master in Romania and I never heard of OSDD. Also, we only heard about DID twice in 3 years of University. The first time we barely heard the definition and the fact that "they are extremely rare cases, you'll probably never meet one in your life" and the second one was a Split reference. SAD.
Margitkám hello there neighbor! 😂💖
I've been wondering if I might be OSDD-1a. I'd love to know how it differs from BPD or Complex PTSD.
I've been watching DID videos by you, DissociaDID and the Pinata System for around a month now, puzzling over what it is that I have, cause it's not DID. I'd heard OSDD mentioned in passing but it sounded like a grab bag for other dissociative disorders. You were the first person I heard explain specifically what OSDD-1b was and... you may have finally described me. I've got two selves that are both Kella and are both co-conscious 100% of the time, though I can be dominated by one or the other. Very little memory loss and all our memories are shared (though we have different associations with them). It's been confusing relating to SO MUCH of the DID experience but feeling like a faker or a groupie because I only have two parts and no day to day amnesia. This has given me something to look into. Thank you.
HI I have DID I support you guys and validate as systems!
Hey, entropy!
We appreciate you standing up for us. (Suspected OSDD-1B due to multiple traumas including ASD triggering) So, thank you for speaking out for us neurodivergent systems that get scrutiny!
- The Temporal 🤔😇🤪🌈😏
🤔Zack
😇David
🤪Connor
🌈Sam
😏Alex
we are an undiagnosed OSDD-1b system
I'm not sure of what I have, if anything, but lately I've had some experiences with dissociative and alter like experiences and i just want to thank you for making videos like this. Whilst I am still confused, you are making our journey easier.
Thank you for making this video ❤️ we have OSDD1b and it’s very hard to be open about it because of people accusing us of not being real or faking. My own family doesn’t accept it and think that I don’t really have it so I have to act like I don’t have it when I’m around them which is incredibly difficult. Luckily I finally have a boyfriend who is very accepting of it and understands and treats us all with equal respect.
Thanks so much for the explanation! My others have been coming forward to me recently and I couldn't figure out how we coexist as individuals but still have 70%-97% memory retention across copiloting and full switches, this had helped us *so* much😢
Needed this so badly. Assessments last week we're rough. Pretty sure we are 1b, and confused by not being just like DID systems. Thank you!
We just came to terms with being a system recently, and we're struggling a lot with it, so watching videos like this and learning more about systems and plurality helps relieve the stress.
Ah, 1-b...
Time to go to psychologist ✌🏻
I was lured in by DID's aspects due to me having voices within my head. I was ashamed when I did not share the same qualities and was largely pressured by my friends feeling like they wouldn't believe me. It had to be a point when I came in contact with someone with DID they expressed OSDD as a possibility, and researching it through and through with that friend and their system largely assured me that I could have it.
Of course, my friends only began to believe me after I presented more points in my explanation, additionally having gotten a possible protector to co-front.
To clarify, the feeling was very weird!!
I am now beginning to feel OSDD-1b might be within my range and am now more focused on informing my parent on getting a possible diagnosis; as otherwise, parent wouldn't be happy with long drives to learn I have nothing.
Of course, still scared of not getting diagnosed correctly and getting shamed by my mother.
I bid thanks, all the well.
I’m in love with your (or should I say the body’s since it was most likely a group decision) hair!!!
Huh, this honestly genuinely helps, I've hardly seen any videos or segments discussing the subcategories associated with DID
I'm honestly not quiet sure why they didn't just call it DID 1A and 1B.. they seem incredibly similar and "otherwise specified" is quite... a dry way to put it.
However regardless I'll definitely take a look into the condition as well, knowing that full blown amnesia between alters is not required and that trauma memory is not just accessible through integrating really really puts my mind at ease.
I honestly was quite worried because many DID channels bring up the fact that certain alters become co-conscious but I'd never heard of any of them describing it as having an alter co-con all the time.
Well no wonder when its specific side effect is OSDD.
Thank you so much for covering this, and while I intend to do my own research I certainly hope you'll cover the topic more on this channel ^___^
I know it was over a year ago, but I want to thank you for making this video. I'm always learning (as I hope I always will) and once again I have y'all to thank for it.
We have osdd 1b and people HAVE and DO discredit us. Which is why we've not opened up about it much
Thank you for making this video it's helpful
i dont have did or osdd, but im excited for system pride day. theyre such stigmatized disorders, and i think after everything systems have been through, they deserve at least one day to be proud and not give a shit. also, i love the hair! that color looks so good on yall!
For some reason I can't hear the audio in your videos anymore and it makes me so sad!!! :( Has anyone else had this problem??? With the 7 tips video and this one. All the other ones are fine :(
I could only hear audio in the left ear, that might have something to do with it?
Me too, left ear
This is the first time I’ve seen OSDD discussed in a video in my UA-cam feed. Thank you so much for educating. My curiosity with this is if someone has DID (say, childhood experiences with alters) but could have repressed it to the point where they present as OSDD instead. There’s so much to discover here with this topic.
If OSDD 1b is always coconscious then how are the trauma memories hidden?
Blocking of trauma memories is a symptom of ptsd, which is a disorder we all share the symptoms of. We had to discover them together.
We are undiagnosed but *definitely* a system. Before discovering channels like yours and Jeremy's, we had no idea we could be a system, because we didn't experience things the same way DID systems do. We did some research and are pretty sure we have 1b, and it always warms our collective heart to see those with a bigger platform spreading awareness about it, so thank you ♥
-Zach & Nena
Love you guys so much. Off topic, but people are starting to call out The Rewired Soul and I was wondering if you had an opinion on his UA-cam channel?
When I saw that happening I battled with being really angry over just wanting to stir the pot to earn money and subs, and laughing really loudly cause karma is beautiful. :p -Ember
Wait, what happened?
if anyone is reading this, id suggest not checking his videos out, they could be upsetting to people who have had bad experiences with being accused of faking
He’s a hack who uses controversy and fake drama for views. Don’t watch his videos or send him comments. Attention just encourages him. -Kim Kim
I’m confused, what actually happened? I’ve never watched his videos.
thank you.
it has only been through independent (& at times extensive) research that we have been able to acknowledge & understand ourselves properly. psychiatrists have a wonderful habit of avoiding this kind of diagnosis & instead opting towards prescribed anti-depressants as a 'fix-all' solution.
it's videos like these that validate us & provide the self-assurance & confidence to stand up to this kind of treatment. we are deserving of recognition & of therapy, just the same as others. thank you, again. we really appreciate what you're doing.
I'm excited too! And thank you for explaining the differences - I had only a basic understanding of OSDD. Also, thank you again for coming up with a pride day, and I love that it's for all systems! Multiples unite!