INFP Loses Empathy

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  • Опубліковано 17 лис 2024
  • In this video I describe a few of the ways that INFPs lose empathy. It’s no easy feat since INFPs tend to be highly empathetic towards others, and it takes a lot to get them to this state.
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    #infp #mbti #16personalities #16types

КОМЕНТАРІ • 75

  • @munkami
    @munkami Рік тому +52

    Compassion fatigue is real...and your last point is spot on. Others see it as selfish but its so hard to be OK when we're not OK

    • @mbaratucci13
      @mbaratucci13 11 місяців тому +1

      Oh yes, compassion fatigue is a perfect way to put it

    • @yourbootyholeisyourbeautyhole
      @yourbootyholeisyourbeautyhole 4 місяці тому

      i feel like i become SUPER jaded. once i'm out of that fog, i feel so much better. i noticed that often, when i'm feeling overwhelmed with my emotions, i become physically fatigued as well.

  • @LeslieMcHugh
    @LeslieMcHugh Рік тому +43

    It’s true. I’ve lost my empathy and I just simply don’t care. Maybe I’ll care again next week. Maybe not. But right now? Nope. No caring.

  • @shaunaireland7781
    @shaunaireland7781 Рік тому +23

    I lost all my empathy . I was so overgiving in my 20s that's now in my 30s I dont care about anything. Just living for me now

  • @shallowwatersoriginal
    @shallowwatersoriginal Рік тому +12

    What makes you lose empathy: too many superficial encounters resulting in the belief that the world can not be saved anymore and the darkness has found it's way too people's heart.

    • @psychcasserole
      @psychcasserole  Рік тому +5

      You painted a picture with your words shallowwaters. I feel that sentiment certainly

    • @shallowwatersoriginal
      @shallowwatersoriginal Рік тому +3

      @@psychcasserole lovely of you. Welcome back.🌸

  • @mec0013
    @mec0013 Рік тому +25

    Yes when people scam me I lose empathy. I can be really mean in these situations. Then I feel bad about ripping out a person's psychological mindset. Then I eventually realize they deserved it. Then I learn to empathize again.

    • @mec0013
      @mec0013 Рік тому +2

      @Pray ForMe Yess they are irredeemable and waste so much time

    • @peachesandpoets
      @peachesandpoets 7 місяців тому

      Overgave in my 20s until my late 30s. Now, once I sniff a bit of manipulation, I don't care about the person anymore and I don't care what happens to them. Even family members, etc.

  • @kithigginson4649
    @kithigginson4649 Рік тому +10

    Spot on and highly relatable, as usual. When the ESTJ beast bursts onto the scene, it's not a pretty sight. But it sure serves to get $h&t done!

  • @radishraven9
    @radishraven9 Рік тому +11

    lol i love that you used a typical procrastination time of 2 years :P great video as always!

    • @desiree8329
      @desiree8329 Рік тому +4

      Haha, I thought that was hilarious! Then I started wondering if there was anything that I have been procrastinating for 2 years🙃

  • @Jay-el9iz
    @Jay-el9iz Рік тому +8

    Underdog, bully, and narcissist magnet. I don't mind the first one, but the other two are a big no.

    • @psychcasserole
      @psychcasserole  Рік тому +4

      I know it’s unfortunate those last two 😢

    • @ninjaragingpotatoes
      @ninjaragingpotatoes Місяць тому

      My ex-girlfriend was a narcissistic it token me 10 year to realize it and we both were in are mid teens and young adults im 24 I realize how toxic she was and much of a nut case not to be a dick about it

  • @chonabi9642
    @chonabi9642 Рік тому +5

    I have a lot of empathy and emotional intelligence towards people I care for and I would never intentionally hurt their feelings, I'll sugarcoat stuffs and keep the peace.
    But once they've done me dirty or made me feel bad in a way, now they'll get the payback. I'll not have sympathy for them anymore, they're air to me and I'll be really blunt with my words and won't care about how they'll feel hearing my harsh opinion about them, and I feel no guilt about it.
    So, I have a lot of empathy, until I don't.
    - INFP

    • @psychcasserole
      @psychcasserole  Рік тому +1

      Chonabi you sound like a real INFP

    • @chonabi9642
      @chonabi9642 Рік тому

      @@psychcasserole I think I'm a real one as well =) I can relate to every INFP description and all my tests say so. So, yeah, definitely a real one. And I recently been through this kind of stuff.
      Got close to an INFJ friend. He pushed my boundaries and wanted me to do stuffs with him even though he knows I didn't want to cause I wanna do things in my own phase. After a few times, I told him off. Sounded mean but I didn't care at all. Now, haven't spoken to him for a week even though we used to be really close and talk everyday. But now I have no intention on doing that anymore either.
      So, I can really relate on this matter.

  • @Kruella.A
    @Kruella.A Рік тому +9

    Yes! That's true. I can see that I'm loosing my empathy, when I'm highly stressed out. Since I am mother of two little noisy kids I can watch these little changes in my empathy and moods 😂 It was kind hard for me to understand it, because I always considered myself as highly empathetic and carring person and now I usually feel like I don't have enough energy to be like this all the time. I want to be a good mother, carring and loving, but when both kids speaks to you at the same moment, while you driving car through the trafic to the supermarket and trying to remember what we need to buy for next a few days and other things floatting through your mind, I can become very quickly overstimulated and stressed. Then I really don't have empathy. I feel bad about it sometimes 🤭

    • @psychcasserole
      @psychcasserole  Рік тому +2

      Kristy thanks for sharing your experience and perspective I really relate 😊

    • @StopTheCatcher
      @StopTheCatcher Рік тому

      Same!!! I have a son too. I feel so bad sometimes for my freakshows, when I'm overstimulated.😅

  • @desiree8329
    @desiree8329 Рік тому +5

    Spot on, as usual. I'm haunted by some things I've done and said 10, 15, or 20 years ago as an ESTJ 'with a screw loose' who didn't care at the time. Gaining maturity and life experience has definitely helped to keep these episodes to a minimum.

  • @vetetocm
    @vetetocm 6 днів тому +2

    I am a passive-aggressive INFP. I absolutely lose my empathy when I, myself, or someone I care about is hurt or threatened by someone else.

  • @izalith5847
    @izalith5847 8 місяців тому +1

    When it comes to empathy. Ive learned to be cold to most people. Unless there in my inner circle, i couldnt care less. World too full of negitive feelings. Want nothing to do with that. Too many times have i wasted hours trying to help people who wont help themselfs.

  • @soulsurfer5531
    @soulsurfer5531 Рік тому +7

    SAD Seasonal Affective Disorder slams me. I don’t care about anything and hibernate. Even with vitamin D etc

  • @andreweadie3206
    @andreweadie3206 Рік тому +3

    This is so true. I can become the biggest asshole ever when I’m stressed out. I think a big part of it is INFP’s feel like others don’t respect their Fi and since it’s not a practical thing like Te it can be hard to get others to respect it. I feel when the INFP is stressed like this what they’re doing is leveraging their Fi and trying to make others respect it with Te. That’s why we can be very scary in an almost domineering way, which is like the complete opposite of a natural INFP.

    • @psychcasserole
      @psychcasserole  Рік тому +2

      Yeah, it’s scary when we get stressed and into that mode

  • @cynthiadenny915
    @cynthiadenny915 Рік тому +5

    Argh. This is so timely. My youngest moved out this weekend and I’ve been a mess. Depression, sadness and tears. Of course it’s a good thing. Of course it’s natural. He’s only 10 minutes away so why am I so sad!? Intellectually, I can frame the whole thing in a healthy way, but my heart just hurts. I almost feel a need to “turn off” my *feels* to survive the next few weeks. Thx for video.

  • @vivhel
    @vivhel Рік тому +2

    There's one spesific episode I'll never forget. I'm pretty sure my brother, who was a big factor for my outburst and severe change in behavior at that moment, doesn't even remember it, or at least- doesn't think about it at all. But I do, years later. I guess it's because the emotions running through me at that moment was so strong, and out of character, that it feels like it almost left some kind of scar in me. The level of stress that day was really high, and when his comment came on top of that- (a really selfish comment) I totally lost it. My family looked at me as if I was a stranger, but actually understood why I reacted. I think. Logically I understand it as well, but still, to this day, that version of me lost all empathy and I felt like a stranger to myself. I have felt this wave of emotion, or rather loss of empathy, come at me again from time to time, and it's always induced by stress and other people's lack of empathy and understanding toward me or others, during the stressful situation. Don't know if I'm making any sense to anyone but me with this :D Anyway, yes we can absolutely lose empathy and when it happens it almost feels like an out-of-body-experience. To me, anyway.

    • @psychcasserole
      @psychcasserole  Рік тому +1

      Thank you for sharing your experience Vivhel ♥️

    • @julieolson1402
      @julieolson1402 11 місяців тому

      I hate to be a misery-loves-company type, but your comment makes me feel a little more human after yesterday's outburst. Thanks.

  • @paulanderson2963
    @paulanderson2963 Рік тому +2

    Willfully and intentionally mortally harm my loved ones
    I would lose all empathy.
    The perpetrator would lose a whole lot of things.

  • @carissabaron2994
    @carissabaron2994 11 днів тому +1

    Wow you put this state into words

  • @vondelpete
    @vondelpete Рік тому +3

    We both have ESTJ brothers, wow. Mine would get stuck in his INFP grip quite a lot when we were younger though which was a scary thing.

  • @loisthiessen9134
    @loisthiessen9134 Рік тому +4

    thanks for explaining the ESTJ grip that happens with INFP's. Now I understand why this "flip" happens with me when I'm stressed out..

  • @AZ222
    @AZ222 Рік тому +3

    Or when im just very truly disappointed angry at someone.

  • @elizabethfraser2996
    @elizabethfraser2996 Рік тому +3

    A colleague called it my spidey sense.

  • @PriesterinDesLichts
    @PriesterinDesLichts 7 місяців тому

    female INFP here, love your videos!

  • @mandalovescatspandas1781
    @mandalovescatspandas1781 Рік тому +2

    "When we procratinate somethinf for 2 years..."
    Ahahahaa...hah. haha...
    It's so true 😭
    This explains a lot. Thanks 😊

    • @psychcasserole
      @psychcasserole  Рік тому +1

      Your welcome 😊 yep 2 years, I definitely said that 🤣🤣

  • @maggie1321972
    @maggie1321972 9 місяців тому

    You’re totally correct. I can go into months of empathy fatigue, and feel evil guilt about it. Also you have the most amazing green eyes ever! I’m so jealous . Mine are pond green lol! 😊

  • @mbaratucci13
    @mbaratucci13 11 місяців тому +1

    I'm an infp and call this shutting down when overwhelmed 😢

  • @H.Rose7
    @H.Rose7 Рік тому +3

    good observations..

  • @taketheredpill1452
    @taketheredpill1452 Рік тому

    We're so pissed off and afraid at that time. The fear or terror, of my failing at doing it my way, is what brings me there. Turns out it was based on my relationship with my mother. She never let me be me, so I always failed. Now that she's out of my life, I trust myself...and don't get the grip

    • @balaari4842
      @balaari4842 5 місяців тому

      I wish u the best hope you heal and live a good life, if u wanna chat hit me up

    • @taketheredpill1452
      @taketheredpill1452 5 місяців тому

      @@balaari4842 - I'd love to meet an INFP to chat with.

  • @AllineWork91
    @AllineWork91 5 місяців тому

    I feel like a big one for me is even if I deeply care for someone like a boyfriend if they come to me with the same hurt that's being caused by someone or something that they have the option to change I can't handle it. Hate your boss and you refuse to have an awkward conversation about your needs and expectations? Nope, don't say another word to me. A family member took advantage of another family member and ran off with a bunch of their money bc they were mentally in decline? Get a lawyer and help them or shut the f@$k up. A dear friend tells me for the 10th time their boyfriend completely disrespected them in public? You don't get to talk about him anymore to me anymore, change the subject or leave...
    I've had people think I'm totally heartless for it and I will always tell them "Because I actually give two shits about you, my heart cannot handle hearing or seeing you being treated poorly with no effort on your end to protect yourself. I cannot and will not listen to how someone I care about is LETTING someone else take advantage of or abuse them."

  • @julieolson1402
    @julieolson1402 11 місяців тому

    I was in that state, yesterday, and I hate myself when I don't care about anybody! It always ends with me praying for forgiveness. What slipped past my notice was that it starts as a result of mega stress. Now that I examine past episodes, I realize how right you are. You avail us of your mental health background as well as your knowledge of MBTI. This video is going to keep on helping me. THANKS!
    Complete subject change; What about identical twins? Is there any correlation between twins & their MBTI types?

  • @readingnarcissism
    @readingnarcissism Рік тому +5

    I'm interested the idea about how the function stack flips when we are under stress and lose empathy...as a result can 'si' drag up different memory imprints in these situations? I have experienced different memory triggers when in this state and wondered if anyone else has had the same, great topic 👍

  • @sokTAU911
    @sokTAU911 Рік тому +4

    Brandon make video how to heal UNHEALTHY INFP become more health

    • @psychcasserole
      @psychcasserole  Рік тому +2

      Ok I will do that, thanks Sok Tau

    • @sokTAU911
      @sokTAU911 Рік тому +2

      @@psychcasserole most of infp feel outcast from being different and must be lots of Infps become unhealthy like me. I just have avoidant personality disorder and social anxiety and i am being unemployed for 10 years

  • @IcenLemonade
    @IcenLemonade Рік тому +1

    Yeah, I've also gone through this. I really want it back. I am slowly getting back to being empathetic on a normal scale but it's slow. Really slow. I'm hopeful it will come back to me soon, because being empathetic really helps me be myself and have more self control 😊

    • @psychcasserole
      @psychcasserole  Рік тому +2

      Amberstone heart thank you for sharing your perspective and experience 😊

    • @IcenLemonade
      @IcenLemonade Рік тому

      I've recently noticed I've got it back! If anyone is going through something like this, I suggest finding what the problem is then talking about it w someone you trust and who you know will understand.
      Edit: I'm not saying that this will 100% work and I'm sure you'll have probably heard this advice before but it is definitely worth a try! 🙃

  • @greglavine4035
    @greglavine4035 Рік тому +2

    Stress .... will cause your limbic system to kick in,you have lost your navigation system, narcissistic abuse will trigger cognitive dissonance when you fall for their toxic poison...you will lose empathy for predators,self servers,and the entitled hypocrites who feed off of their targets...but lose empathy I cant see me walking over a person injured in the road,my neighbors dog running down the road.and not putting a leash on them and put them back ..nope.it is not going to be ignored...We are not ESTJs .but we can get a hold of TE and surprise ESTJs..it really is not difficult to become organized,find efficiency,find the path to connect our NE creativity with our sense of proper and right...guys it goes quantum...with management, habits,lists there is nothing that we can not do.nothing...well maybe accounting lol..is it natural...no it isnt...can we ask our self logical questions,can we know why,what where ,when,how....yes do we have to dwell there ...no...can I be one of the very best... absolutely

  • @mantsabengmokorosi3186
    @mantsabengmokorosi3186 Рік тому +3

    Is it normal to find 100% resonance with this video, yet I am an INFJ?

  • @Omega-D-Nightingale
    @Omega-D-Nightingale Рік тому +3

    Thankyou.

  • @Jyanaruskol
    @Jyanaruskol 8 місяців тому

    I feel that almost every day

  • @astrawwberri
    @astrawwberri Рік тому +2

    Yes, when I'm feeling extremely apathetic. I just stop caring. It's just a phase tho
    Me when I'm normal: Okay I feel bad that you got into trouble and got your life ruined after bullying a girl, but you kinda deserved it.
    Me when I'm apathetic and lost my empathy: Lmao you had that coming, have fun experiencing karma.

    • @psychcasserole
      @psychcasserole  Рік тому

      😊great example- thanks for watching Crystalized

  • @matilda4406
    @matilda4406 Рік тому +3

    my dad is INFP. Could you tell me what psychologically triggers an INFP to get into the ESTJ grip? Is it usually someone coercing or abusing in some way? What actually is it?

    • @psychcasserole
      @psychcasserole  Рік тому +4

      It could be those things, usually intense stress is the trigger.

  • @MediatorInfp
    @MediatorInfp 3 місяці тому

    When disappointed , we infps lose our empathy , because even the people we care about and try to help tell us to be "more rigid " .
    So okey , now i care only about money , money and money.
    Working. .traveling ..than dying .
    The day of my death will be my true happy deathday 😂🎉🎉

  • @adventuroussoulessentialoi8241
    @adventuroussoulessentialoi8241 8 місяців тому

    Have you ever been in an ESTJ grip for 3 years? I feel like I have.

  • @matilda4406
    @matilda4406 Рік тому +2

    would you say ESTJs have very little empathy ?

    • @psychcasserole
      @psychcasserole  Рік тому +1

      No, it really just depend on the individual person.

  • @fionap1663
    @fionap1663 Рік тому +4

    🫂❤️