Michael Alig & The Freudian Death Drive
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- Опубліковано 24 лип 2023
- The Club Kids murder sent shockwaves through the New York City club scene. Michael Alig seemed to have a propensity for shock throughout his life and his interviews that makes me wonder if Sigmund Freud would hold up this case as a quintessential example of the Death Drive.
I used to be a dancer at Limelight among other clubs and I remember Alig and his crew well. They were so scary to an 18 year old dancer still in high school in Long Island. They were VERY hard core in everything they did, the way they dressed, presented themselves as well a the drugs. They wanted to scare people all while complaining people “ judged@ them. I just went in and did my job and had a blast. Thank god I avoided their drama!
Real.
Alig reached his best high because he was dying. As a neurologist, you're aware of the chemicals that start to flood the brain at that point. It's a feeling some might describe as NIRVANA. Addicts know that they can survive without the drugs. It's like not cleaning your house for a long time. You know you're going to feel great when it's done, but the mere thought of it is overwhelming because you know the process is going to be hell. Coming off of opiates, the first thing you have to deal with is the physical withdrawal, which is like a horrible food poisoning. On top of that, you have all of these feelings that you've been numbing for years that start to bubble up to the surface. At the same time you're having these severe physical symptoms, you're having consecutive repetitive panic attacks. It's as if someone is flipping a switch on/off in your mind from mania to severe depression, every hour on the hour. You feel more exhausted than you've ever felt in your life, but you can't sleep. By day 4, you're usually so sleep-deprived that you have a difficult time separating reality from a dream. This is what addicts face when they think about quitting. They're terrified of it, so they don't. If they're lucky enough, a day will come where they realize their only options are a sickness that leads to healing, or death. I've been clean from opiates for 14 years. I lost my mother and my brother to overdoses. Losing my brother was my wake-up call. To anyone suffering, if you're reading this, you can do it. I got through it with meditation, refocusing, daydreaming, watching movies, writing, drawing, listening to music, and melatonin. I would meditate for an hour before trying to sleep, and I was able to get about 5 hours of sleep each night. Experiment and find out what makes those days easier for you.
I've been right there where you are describing, all of it spot on. 10 years clean myself, keep going and thank you for sharing this with us friendo!!!
Edit: just wanted to add that one idea I latched onto that seemed to help me through the ridiculously hard first few months was neural pathways. It's literally a physical path in your brain that says if this... Then this. So for 15 years I taught my mind that the answer to everything was use. Buuut, after a while you can create a new neural pathway by making a different decision (very difficult at first, much easier over time).
At age 84 I've been chemical free for 43 years thanx to a sponsor and friends like Dr. Bob and Bill W..
Sound similar to giving birth, (though food poisoning isn’t as painful as childbirth) when you give birth the pushing causes more pain than the contractions, but you know that you have to push which literally changes your bones, it’s an extremely painful experience because your pelvis bone is stretching, your skin is ripping or tearing, your intestines are popping out, etc. But you know you have to push or else you’re just gonna keep having contractions/of course die/have the baby die.
No thanks.
@@ElliotFlowers agreed 🤝
Retired prosecutor here, Dr. vdV. I appreciate your take on cases and incidents and thank you for the lessons you provide. Keep up the good work.
Correct
As a retired prosecutor does it ever bother you it's almost a mathematical certainty you've sent innocent people to jail?
@@MarkRasslin No, it does not. I would never have sent an innocent person to jail. In fact, I take seriously my oath to uphold and defend the constitution of the United States and my state. When I saw errors on appeal, I would concede them, even if the person was guilty. My job was not notches on a belt, but justice.
I understand the point you are making, but wonder if it is not an attempt to bait me. Not biting.
@@sycamoresally5643 it's good to hear you conducted yourself in a way that's above board and observant of your given duties. But let's just think about this for a moment. Not every single person gets to decide the laws and not every single law is just. So one person might find smoking marijuana a benign infraction, but that's not true according to the Federal government. Simply upholding laws with severe inequities is not a consistent form of justice. Especially when stuff like race is involved. But my point is more around the fact that not every single person who is arrested, tried and convicted is guilty. Even if only one percent of people are innocent with significant evidence against them, it's ultimately a significant percentage. After even several years of work sending people to jail it becomes effectively impossible to not have at least sent one innocent person based on volume.
What an intelligent statement: "Dark humour works to diffuse emotions like fear or sadness. But not remorse."
"Dark humour" is not meant to be an aid to people with an interest in committing crimes or cruelty, especially ego driven crimes. Listening to Alig make those comments and then say "just dark humour mate', rings just the same as the frats boys laughing about raping insensibly intoxicated girls and then saying "You just don't get our humour".
He didn't dismiss it as just dark humor. He recognized that dark humor is a real way people cope with trauma, but pointed out it's different when it's making light of something evil you did. He wasn't dismissing or minimizing anything. He pretty much said the same thing you did in his own words.
Remorse can be a type of trauma and I would imagine killing and dismembering someone is a traumatic experience. It's just a trauma the guilty person caused. Dark humor is still going to be how they cope with the uncomfortable reality of the situation.
@@WeRNthisToGetHer He didn't accept it as dark humour at ALL. His point was, it ISN"T really "dark humour'.
There is food for thought here and I agree that it was a good point. I worked disaster response where gallows humor tends to be used as a coping mechanism. My guess is that the best way to differentiate is that gallows humor is used to regarding trauma that is out of your control. Especially with seemingly senseless situations, especially when it is a senseless but deliberate act of another., as opposed to an act of narure. Not in response to your own actions, especially when it was entirely prevantable. I have seen workers traumatized by situations that were just terrible accidents they were just the responders too. I am still haunted by one decision that would have uprooted so many lives that thank god resolved itself, and we didn't have to make. There isn't just processing and moving on from deliberately acting out your own horror movie. The guy is a monster.
@@Nylon_riot Yes, you have explicated this properly and with insight.
The world of difference between being a person who is looking straight on at something unimaginably horrible and who needs to cope to keep on functioning, or being a monster.
I still love that statement by the video maker. He has a notable eloquence.
Good explanations
In my experience, people don't want to die, or even want to get high or drunk. People want to not be in pain, and everything else is just a symptom of that. They may not even be aware that that is the reason for their death impulse or addiction, but deep down, it always comes to pain. That is not an excuse, but it's something that mental health professionals and the judicial system seem to not understand most of the time.
Absolutely. Suffering, especially suffering that endures, causes us to begin to do anything to lessen it.
Yep, any trouble I’ve been in has been a result of me using substances to escape reality or get so f’d up I don’t notice true reality.
not me, i got high because it was super fun.
Nah man, Some people just want a drink
Absolutely. And people should have a right to not have to live in pain. Why is it totally legal & socially acceptable to drink myself to death with alcohol, but using something like heroin or cannabis is illegal & stigmatized? Most people aren't even aware or educated enough to know that alcohol is far more toxic on the body & brain than heroin or opioid ever could be.
Most people also aren't educated enough when using drugs to assess their tolerance levels or know what they're doing. Most drug overdoses are accidentals or intentional un-alivings.
Drugs like cannabis & opiates have helped my depression more than anything else out there & with the least amount of side effects. I used opioids for 16 years & never once overdosed. A lot of people who are in pain & can't get the drug they want or need end up doing other things to self destruct instead. I did a lot of unhealthy & dangerous things when I couldn't get opiates.
It's completely unfair how much more stigma heroin/opioids get, when there's a ton of other completely legal, toxic & addictive things out there that nobody cares about.
Society is extremely hypocritical & ignorant. And they've been conditioned to be that way by the people who love pushing the drug war.
I spent loads of time in NYC clubs in the late 80's just to go dancing. People like Alig are/were so common in that world. So exhausting and comical in their childish need for attention. Warhol was the same.
Well, Warhol taught him, so that would make sense.
I think he looked at his Actual Life as if he was in a movie. As if none of it was real, it was all a performance... It seems like he was completely detached from the reality of what he was experiencing
It might be hard for us to understand to the degree that sociopaths do not like people. they have no issues with killing someone they knew, letting the body sit in the house for a week, and dumping it in a river. Then, they'll laugh about dumping the body 20 years ago. They are delighted in their behavior.
Your, like, one sentence description of how each of the Cluster B disorders functions and how they differ is the best I've ever heard it. Please do get to videos just on this topic! 👏
Yes, please! I’m no contact with an entire Cluster B family and would love to understand more about their disorders. My mother’s dysfunction was totally different from what my sister’s is now, and my other 2 sisters display entirely different behaviors.
I'm gay and I remember at the time how creeped out I was by these club people. They used to get a lot of attention in certain media and a lot of people were highly amused and fascinated by them, but I found them horrifying. Having observed them, I couldn't help thinking that they were horrible people and I wanted to stay as far away from them as possible.
That's good discernment, they seem demonic to me.
I think you nailed his pathology on the head. I used to chat with Ernie Glam, michaels friend and former roommate. He told me that Michael had this tortured quality about him that no matter how successful or how popular or how fabulous he was, there was part of him that would never find happiness and stability and calmness. He was always attracted to the drama and the disarray.
He suffered from psycopathy. It's how they are.
@@Edelwiess1066 Michael wasn't a psychopath. He didn't meet the clinical definition. Perhaps antisocial personality disorder.
Sounds like imposter syndrome.
Dude was a psychopath. Knew him. Remorseless racist. Maybe he hates himself. Didn't appear that way.
I mean he said what he was diagnosed with. Histrionic. This was a doctor that spent time knowing him well above what you or I could ever glean from these short tv outbursts of his. I think that is an excellent diagnosis as well. He was really all about attention. No matter what the cost of having all eyes on him meant.
I'm really looking forward to your Cluster B video. My mom is a classic case. She is a compulsive liar and stole money from me when I was a teenager. She also tried to steal money from my brother. Unfortunately I eventually had to cut off contact with her.
Ugh. I am so so sorry you had to endure a childhood with a parent like that. How awful. I hope that you have been able to find the peace and healing you deserve.
My mom's the same way with me and my sister! It's sad humans that shouldent be parents end up parents that's why the world is in the state its in! Lol
Do you mean she took your pocket money back to pay for the window you broke?
@@ElliotFlowers no she stole my bank card and spent $2000 at bars and restaurants. I had earned that money working as a dishwasher
@@wrzffh Ah well, you gotta love your Mum! You wouldn't be here without her!
I met this guy once back in like 1995 (?) in NYC at Limelight. He was a mess. That whole crew was kind of gross.
Gabor Maté's theories are perhaps useful here, that addiction is rooted in unresolved trauma. Speaking as a gay man of that generation, Michael Alig is sadly an all too familiar type. Alig said he was badly bullied as a kid for being gay. I've seen it so many times - the effects of it are catastrophic. It leaves the victim with self hatred, toxic shame, and underlying anger at the way they were treated. They then tend to drift into drug use and / or promiscuous sex as a means to dull the pain and in some cases to punish themselves. Histrionic behaviour is also an absolutely classic symptom. "Please like me because I'm incapable of liking myself and there's a huge aching hole in my soul that I can't handle". The breakup of his family at a young age will also have been a big destabilising factor. Speaking to a friend who was a heavy ketamin user, he said he used it as a means to escape from his own self hatred. I suppose in that respect it is a death drive.
Apparently everything is rooted in trauma nowadays
As a disassociate drug, this makes sense. And some people’s trauma most certainly affects their entire life. For some, bullying can have the same psychological effect as a person who was physically abused by a parent during childhood. And some people look for any excuse to behave badly later in life. Who am I to say what is someone’s trauma and what is not. But I do feel it’s become a buzz word these days and many people don’t understand it or care to have it investigated. It’s simply an excuse for their own bad behavior or an excuse to abuse others.
Those internal wounds are so often invisible, how big are the scars and what effect do they incur on a person. What threshold for emotional pain do we each possess until we can’t stand it anymore, until it becomes a weapon we use to hurt others. And the cycle continues.
It’s a form of generational trauma in a way, I suppose. From parent to child or from partner to partner.
Hell idk it’s 5am and I’m typing with one eye open, what do I know. ❤
Gabor Mate is unfortunately a hack. He literally blames everything on trauma
As a person who suffers from BPD, i would really love it if people like you would try to teach the general public a little bit more about what BPD is and how unique it is on every person. There is so much stigma painting us as terrible, irredeemable people. Some of us actively do the work to try to get better... There is a ton of information out there and people don't even realize the difference between BPD and NPD.
I get confused when people say BPD. Do you mean borderline personality, or bipolar?
@asdf9890 BPD is borderline personality disorder. It's hell to live with that's forsure.
@@asdf9890 see, this is a great example of a person who is interested enough to ask, thank you! It is borderline, yes. And it is hell. A few years into intense therapy and I'm doing better than ever before, but it's scary how quickly and out of nowhere I can feel not okay.
You dont have a disorder you need Jesus. Most of those called disorders are simply said Demons. Every day a new disorder… people forgot God so much that they like to cover demons behind such an innocent word disorder…
I have recently lost my prior diagnosis from BPD after 8 years of CBT/DBT therapy. It is very possible to come back from and I hope everyone experiencing this puts the work in to come out on the other side, though I do understand how hard it is. It was many years of trial and error before I found the right treatment for me uniquely.
Angel was a good friend of mine, and the way that his murder was made into a joke still angers me. Michael never should have been let free. His nonchalant attitude about the murder is proof of it. He's proud of it and enjoys bragging about Angel's murder.
He is dead, so...
seems like a good friend of Angel's would know that Michael has been dead 4 years now.....
He was really you’re a good friend and you didn’t even know that Michael had died four years ago? Yeah…. I don’t think you were really good friends with him if you didn’t even know that his murderer had died. Also, Michael wrote about it and sounded much more serious than he did in interviews, he talked about going to therapy and feeling guilty. He had a type of personality disorder where he was always having to put on airs and had a hard time being sincere so it was easier for him to write about it and come off as sincere than talk
@@pandapower5902 the message still stand if she didnt know
@@pandapower5902 clearly micheal wasnt guilty bc he did constant brag about it when he was alive
You are so intelligent, Dr van der Vaart. I learn so much from listening to you. This was most interesting. I grew up in the 70's and didn't realize what some of these drugs were and how they were integrated into music. Thank you.
I was 30 in '77, and surrounded by ppl who used the designer dr*gs. They were offered freely, by promoters I knew then. I did accept their 'generosity' now and then, but somehow never got hooked on any of them. I didn't like having my 'reality' altered. I really appreciate Dr VdV's presentation, and will be bingeing his vids for a while, now.
@@Polyphemus47 The music industry of the 70s and early 80s (and probably well into the 80s, but I'd moved away from it by then) used drugs as a currency. Literally, a promoter would seal a deal with a manager by providing drugs. Crew could be paid with drugs, and people could give drugs to a promoter, or manager in order to be hired to a job. The drugs moved in all sorts of directions.
And we all sort of take as read that drugs wash through the music "industry".
But they do through so many others too.
The construction industry for example. And it was much less "informal". My brother worked in ultra high end property development on Manhattan (ie flats for the super ridiculous rich). It wasn't a surprise that the workers were coked all the time. Deadlines! Budgets! But even in multi billion dollar real estate projects, drugs were the currency. The exchanges would often be done on the construction sites. They were worth so much money that the people bringing the drugs for payment and the people taking the payments, would each have teams of heavily armed guards with them, in case someone decided to try to run in with another set of heavily armed men and steal them all. These were mob or mafia type people. These were property development consortia, international construction corporations, banks etc. The drugs...all cocaine.
i knew most of these people. just a lot of warhol wannabes. and we all did most of the same drugs. we saw the club kids as mostly a joke. it was a wonderful, hedonistic time for most of us. michael wanted attention. good and bad and your giving it too him. my first boyfriend was best friends with the guy michael killed. i had no idea about the club kids. or the murder. and remember putting up flyers in nyc with him asking his where abouts. and some people in the know already knew it was just a drug thing gone way too far. nyc had 3000 murders a year at that time. most due to the crack epidemic. i then backed off and went on my own. and basically learned early on the club kids were slimeballs and avoid them.
Great video on a very interesting subject.
Ever since I saw Glory Daze, I have found this topic very compelling.
I’ve watched many episodes of Michael’s UA-cam channel, The Peeeew.
apparently, when Michael and James, St. James were joking about dumping another body in the river, Michael didn’t realize he was miced, or didn’t think the footage would be used, and when James put it in the documentary, Michael was extremely upset with him. He did not want this to go public.
Sort of dumb to say just what everyone wanted to hear and think that it would be left out of the show! But then again we sometimes can't help ourselves from saying the quiet part!
This a very insightful and thorough investigation into the psyche of Michael Alig Dr. vdV and I learned a lot and gained a new perspective on Alig and what may have propelled some of his behaviors and (at least some of) his actions. As you noted, Alig is inconsistent in his narrative concerning the events that transpired and his manipulation of those he was either speaking to or being interviewed by and I'd like to state another reason which (is not mentioned) and one that not many know of and I am only stating this as (for one) it is mentioned in "Glory Daze" and the fact that only 1 member involved in this grizzly case (Freeze) is still alive..What is NEVER mentioned in videos, films, interviews, etc involving Alig, those involved and the murder is that there was a "fourth person in Michael's apartment during the murder!". This person was Michael's boyfriend (now deceased) and was Hidden from all parties concerned and even came forward with a "different version of events", which forced Alig and Freeze's attorneys to "jump at a plea bargain" and this person was "Daniel Auster", son of author Paul Auster and his version of events are Not the version we have all heard and the fact that he never testified, we cannot attest to the validity of his claims, which was that Michael and Freeze were NOT "attacked", nor responded in "self defense", but that Alig and Freeze planned to "Rob and Murder Angel" and by doing so would not only clear up Alig's "drug debt", but line their pockets with whatever money and drugs were on Angel!. Apparently (after the fact), Daniel was given "hush money" and told to "leave NY", though obviously his conscience got the best of him (if this version of events is true) and came forward with his story, but for whatever reason never testified and a plea bargain was struck!..Daniel Auster died a year ago of an overdose (like Alig), 11 days after being convicted of the death of his daughter, who apparently had (somehow) "ingested some of his supply" and with him died his version of events regarding the death of Angel Melendez!.. Unfortunately there is no way of knowing whether the death of Angel was the "accidental mishap" Alig has always claimed, or a "premeditated robbery/murder?". The difference in these stories would have meant a difference between a sentence of "10-20 years" or the possibility of the "death penalty!"…. Regardless of what truly transpired that day, a great many things can happen (and be justified) when hard drugs/addiction are involved, but it takes a certain type of person to "dismember and dispose of a body" as Alig did and that is (obviously) Not something one can blame on "drug use!"... Excuse my lengthy rambling, but I felt the need to point out a series of events that most are unaware of!.. The film "Glory Daze" can be streamed Free online and it's certainly worth a watch for anyone interested in this topic, the Club Kids and the whole "darker side" of the club scene and the death of NY nightclubs and the Club Kids!..
Wow thanks for sharing this.
I was a young adult during the club kid era, although I was into the punk scene, I always knew of Alig and the story of the murder. I had never heard of Daniel Auster! Thank you so much for your comment, as it was new information to me!
Wow I had no idea he called his mom after he killed angel😳 I thought I knew all there was about this case. Thank you for this video.
Really unique and insightful content on your channel. It sticks out in a sea of UA-cam content- I always jump to watch your videos. Thank you!
No one has ever come at it from this angle before. Very insightful.
What a fascinating talk about the death drive and Freud, thank you for imparting your knowledge so eloquently. Also love the shirt.
Retired therapist here… love your insights - love your channel! Please keep uploading - very appreciated - from Northern Quebec!
I was given ketamine in the hospital once while having a severe asthma attack. I felt like i was in a beehive, looking up at the hexagonal shaped lights directly above me n they kept "stinging" me. Trying to get an iv in me. It was absolutely crazy
A note about the drugs - Alig surprisingly didn't do drugs until about halfway into his club career - that's where it went off the rails.
or onto them...as the case may be
Exactly. Because he became addicted. Michael was addictive by nature. Trust me, he did absolutely NOTHING in moderation, and when you combine that with the personality disorders that he was destined to develop with the childhood he survived, it's not surprising that things took a horrible turn.
Truth and it went down fast from there💔😪
@@pixiecolorsdefinitely, his impulse toward over doing everything seems obvious in hindsight. Also, Alig and those around him at that “higher level” of club kids (sounds goofy I know haha, but it definitely seems like a real hierarchy developed) had INSANE access to HUGE quantities of drugs. Of course, the lowest level user can still become an addict and die, but with the access these guys had, it just feels so inevitable something terrible would happen.
@@croatoansounds that's true, and I really don't know who Angel knew on that side of things because I was a bit older than Michael, James, Gitsy, and the rest of the "gang" so I didn't have intimate knowledge of any truly criminal dealings, but he had an ENDLESS supply of EVERYTHING from quaaludes to Excstasy to fish scale, pharmaceutical-grade cocaine to nearly pure heroin. I overdosed on it myself and I probably would have died if no one had been around but those knuckleheads, because they were just not involved enough in anything outside their own internal theater. Fortunately for me I was surrounded by a room full of people who took care of me. Including Angel 😞.
Love your username by the way 😊
Now this is quality real crime commentary. Fascinating coherent insights. Thank you. Looking forward to more 😊
It’d be really interesting if you interviewed James St. James ( Michael’s closest friend and author of Party Monster)..I’d love to see what he might say about Michael’s life
Not his closest friend, more like a frenemy that exploited his story, and let him die in poverty.
He wouldn't tell the truth. He likes to make it all about him and likes to make up lies about Michael.
@@kyliesworld89 You know it!
Freud's books are a must read for people interested in psychology, even if he wasn't "right" on many things. I prefer his student and former friend Carl Gustav Jung, hands down. But Freud is still an important person in the field of psychology.
Don't forget the dragkid Desmond is amazing is allowed and has been allowed to spend time with this man alone.
I recently did 6 ketamine therapy sessions for my severe depression and anxiety. It’s so funny that you mention the hero’s journey because that was something I thought about frequently during those sessions. Afterwards I felt compelled to watch movies like Dune, The Prince of Egypt, Lion King… all of those epics. It also does make you feel like this reality dissipates and you can see into another, spiritual realm. Really an incredible drug used in the right settings. I don’t know how anyone does it recreationally lol. But the sustained feelings of joy and purpose are something I did not think I could ever have again in my life.
When my psychiatrist voiced concern I had a death wish, I told her... "I KNOW I don't want to die cause last week when a 10 ft wave tried it's hardest to drown me, ALL I DID WAS FIGHT FOR THE SURFACE!!" Highest of ecstasy , woven into our deepest fears! !
It’s like the end of “The Piano”, where Ada realizes that she is choosing life.
I love the way you describe addiction and how it tells you that you need them but they are trying to kill you.
Thank you for introducing me the Freud concept of the libido transforming the death drive into mastery. Stunning.
just dicovered this channel..finally finally finally found the approach to crime etc i´ve been looking for. intelligent, insightful and very compelling. thank you!
I second that.
I third that thought also having literally just discovered this insightful content creator in my rabbit hole of the klub kidz and Alig.
You are my favourite crime related channel because of your valuable psychological insights. Thank you for being here and being you!
That time I stopped by Michael Alig’s to buy party favors; the elevator doors open into his apartment and he was having a hot tub installed in the livingroom. I got my stuff and left.
In the late '70s, certain chemicals were flowing all around me, since I hung around with musicians and record company execs. I did partake, since they were offered freely, and I enjoyed the effects of 'c'. It culminated with a friend offering me a snort of 'h', which laid me out on the floor with me head under a coffee table. That one experience was enough for me, and I just stopped using, period.
I'd never heard of this...person before the algorhythms suggested this vid. I subscribed and liked about two minutes in. I appreciate your presentation, and the interesting content. Very nice.
PS - geez, what a creep!
He reminds me of The Joker in these interviews, and it's not just the looks. Wondering if he drew inspiration from the comic book character. Your work is so insightful, please don't stop doing what you do!
I knew him, he absolutely reminded me of The Joker
Michael was a speacial type of person and he just wanted to fit in no matter what he did. It truly is sad all the way around but I think the drugs played a big part in all of this.
You are absolutely right, you don't joke about murdering your so called friend if you feel genuine remorse.
Deliberate descent into madness... i do think they subconsciously seek actual death... because they're alive-dead, like vampires.
Your intelligent analysis is insightful, obviously educated, and fascinating. Quite refreshing.
I find the ketamine for depression thing really interesting. I'm naturally a pretty depressed person to begin with and 10 years ago I had a breakup that left me in an extremely rough emotional state for a protracted length of time. I had always like drugs in general and ketamine was among my favorite but I had never done it very often, but during this time I started using it almost daily because I found it just made it so much easier to cope. Now I realize that some or even a lot of this effect was just caused by normal addictive pathology making me feel more fulfilled from using than not, but I really felt ketamine was getting me through better than anything else could. Since then I've gone through a whole battle with addiction to Fentanyl and meth, and now I've been sober for a couple years. Anyway it's interesting that before I was aware of ketamines pharmacological use for depression I sort of came upon it by accident. Although I was definitely misusing it with total disregard for my own safety, and Im not advocating that behavior. Just telling a piece of my own story with mental health and addiction.
I did 6 ketamine therapy sessions and it changed my life. I don’t know how anyone does it recreationally lol. But it’s amazing the sustained effects of joy and purpose that it gave me. I never thought I’d be free of depression and anxiety like I am now. I really do feel like it healed my brain or changed its chemistry.
Lower amounts on a rec level, and most aren't IVing it. @@aubreynaulin6207
All your videos are insightful but this is perhaps your best yet.
I just discovered you on UA-cam. What fascinates me about you is your vocabulary as well as your ability to get the audience to be introspective. Or I should say myself to think about my own psychology.
It's a basic vocabulary. He isn't breaking any new ground. You see he's reading a script.
I bet the party monster has the time of his life in prison, surrounded by all those predators, all that 🐓
So glad to see you include Nelson Sullivan! I stumbled across his old content and very much enjoy it. ❤ great work on this! My cousin Jeff actually helped produce ‘Party Monster ‘back when he lived in Manhattan!
Could you do a "day in the life"/ "week in the life" of you. How are you so knowledgable? How many books do you read? Do you watch tv or drink or smoke?. How do you spend your time? You must be so organised! It must be amazing to have something you're so passionate about as your career #inspiration
Why would you want you know if he drinks or smokes?
Yay! I’ve been diligently checking for that “blue dot” notification next to your channel!!
Another incredible breakdown! This is my favorite video so far! The filming was awesome. I love the split camera views and background.
Always looking forward to your next project ❤
I learned so much from this that I didn’t expect to. You explain heavy intangible concepts really well
Love your analysis in every video that you have posted since I have been subscribed. This one was exceptionally well done.
Looking forward to the cluster B video!!! Just the little bit you covered made me understand them so much more!! Thank you!!
This is my new favourite channel🙌I thank you so much for your work🙌👏👏👏
I'm so happy you hit my bots again. You're gifted and a gift to those of us you trigger lmao
You’re absolutely correct, the way this guy jokes.people like him,scare me. I enjoy and learning from your, awesome videos. You rock Andrew🙋♀️👋👍❤️
WOW!
This is the most amazing analysis pertaining the this “death drive” that I’ve ever heard.
You are absolutely brilliant
Their DESMOND IS AMAZING "situation" interviewibg desmind whilst they perchbhum in front of the rohypnol painting is so utterly repulsive.
Theyre predators, dangerous, becUse of their lack of empathy and need for gratification
I totally agree and Desmond's mother is utterly negligent to let her son associate with these people, and even leaving him unattended with them.
They’re entire crew was like “he was a poser so we didn’t care.”
Absolutely horrific. Michael had also considered Angel a friend and owed him money for the drugs but also stole his money. It wasn't manslaughter, it should have been classified as 1st degree murder. Absolutely zero remorse and no condemnation by his friends, who fail to realise it could easily been them who ended up like Angel.
I did NOT know Freud was a neurologist.....super interesting! Thanks for making these - you do a great job of explaining things!
Neurology and psychiatry weren’t really separate fields, at the time. But what did they know about the brain? Very little. So to think Freud was a neurologist in the modern sense would be wrong.
@@i.ehrenfest349exactly, psychiatry in general was a baby! Back then they were first a foremost medical doctors who then took an interest in the brain and behaviour.
It was all very murky and honestly quite dark back then, very unethical etc. But lots of research has been gleaned from studying it and building upon it and improving it, developing ethical ways to carry out research etc.
Sorry for the rambles, I'm a psych student who's can't bite her tongue 😂
@@i.ehrenfest349 Quite a lot was known about the human brain by Freud's time. You make it sound as though he lived centuries ago.
@@alexhauser5043 All depends on what someone thinks is “quite a lot”, doesn’t it? I would say that even right now we don’t know a lot about the brain - not compared to what there probably is to know. Again, a matter of opinion.
In Freud’s day they knew even less. What is quite a lot, if neurotransmitters weren’t known about, if functional scans were not made, etc etc? To you it my have been a lot. To me, not so much.
@@i.ehrenfest349 Human brains were first dissected and (methodically) studied during the 17th century, so neurology was very much an established science by Freud's time. Physicians then were not abjectly ignorant of the structures (and associated functions) of the brain.
"not compared to what there probably is to know"
You're effectively comparing the state of his (and our) knowledge to that of God by adopting omniscience as your standard. You've removed your argument from the realm of the real.
"To you it my have been a lot. To me, not so much."
I'm sure that your credentials are very impressive, Herr Doktor. PhD from Wikipedia University?
I love how well researched this was and how you explorer so many different view points. Definitely a think piece in terms of destruction and mastery. Well done.
Fascinating analysis. Thank you for this.
Really fascinating insight. Thank you for you work and sharing it with us
you are spectacularly undersubscribed
I have not studied psychology. My field is Literature, encompassing the usual stuff - novels, poetry, drams, essays and including a significant amount of mythology, folk tales/fairy tales, ballads, traditional song collections and that ilk, and all the usual forms of analyzing literary work. Literary analysis has lots of cross overs into philosophies of different schools, philology, history and psychology.
While I've read some of Freud's more strictly psychoanalytical writing, it was his literary analysis that I found more interesting.. He was good at it. He could be really quite insightful.
Though my reaction might also be due to this: With literary analysis ambiguity is the rather the point. No one view is ever meant to be "THE" explication. Many different analyses can have validity. Though this is not to say that ALL do. Bad literary analysis is bad. But it is much harder to cause harm to people with a silly or even clearly wrong or stupid essay about King Lear, than it is if you tell the world and your female patients that the reason they're saying their father has been raping them is due to THEIR wish that this were true. That theory was a case where even as literary analysis it was fifth rate, but to then claim it as psychological insight and medical diagnosis was...monstrous. And not fairy tale monstrous, but the real thing.
The images and the thumbnail GRABBED my attention, 😮 but the way you laid out the story and your opinions kept me locked in. RIP to Angel. My wild partying days weren’t quite this wild, but I can’t imagine not surviving them because of tragic, drug-related violence. Thank you for your insight on a case that I’ve only heard about once, long ago. I love how you leaned in to Freudian ideas and the “old school” principle of withholding psychotherapy on antisocial people. Addiction and mental illness are so scary and painful to deal with, but so important to understand. I hope you have a whole catalog. ❤
He was a really sick person.
*damaged
@@djmixnmagic the difference is what?
Most of "them" are
I saw the movie Party Monsters and it was bizarre and disturbing. I didn't know the backstory until now. The death drive theory is interesting and I'm intrigued how it reconciles with our survival instinct. Are we all on a spectrum for both of these?
We are all on a spectrum for EVERYTHING!
these are extreme caricaturized attempts at categorizing the human condition
@@PutinsMommyNeverHuggedHimTrue (and I love your handle, by the way)!!
@@reneschroeder167 thank you ❤️
@reneschroeder167 interestingly Russia is where they learned the hard way thst babies had to be physically held (touched) or they would die. Literally babies died in orphanages left unheld. Some I suppose just died inside.
Great analysis! I see this same dynamic today replay itself among young people groups.
you are my favourite channel. I am so grateful for your sharing of knowledge. The explanations incl the stepping into abyss and coming back consolidated with a transformation is almost word for word, what my friends who have done it, have reported to me. I didn't believe them but I believe you cos of the letters after your name LOL. Maybe my friends aint so dumb after all. Good for them.
I really appreciate you and your extensive knowledge, and I just subscribed. Can't wait for more!
18:26 SAVING THIS! Thank you. Just found your channel. Very grateful it came up
This was such an enjoyable and thoughtful watch! Thank you. Easy follow 💕
Please make the video on cluster b disorders! Every time you explain something about psychology it blows my mind.
Thank you, Dr. VdV. What began as a diversion quickly became an interest in this excellent presentation.
The study of psychology fascinates me. It was a pleasure to find a video that wasn't a simplication of a complex topic.
I tend to lean toward Jung's explanation of the need to acknowledge the shadow self as an integral part of the psyche.
I think that once accepted, the dark part within us can remain there without the need to be expressed outwardly.
If nothing effed up happens to you as a child, that is.
I loved watching James St. James’ Paint My Face series on WOW. VERY disappointed and disturbed to see him casually making jokes with his murderer friend about throwing a body into the water. Like what the actual fuck… i understand coping with humor but your “friend” actually murdered someone- how can you even talk to them let alone joke with them?
The production value keeps goin up nice work!
I have followed this scene and it’s consequences for years. I really appreciate your insightful analysis. New subscriber. Thanks.
This was wonderful. Thank you.
My sister was always obsessed with the Party Monster story she read the book, she watched the movie , and whatever kind of media was out there she consumed it. One of her huge goals in life was to meet James Saint James. Years later she moved to Vegas and indeed got to meet James St. James at a New Year’s Eve party and she was absolutely enthralled. He ended up coming home with her and her husband to further the party. I was not there that’s just something that was not interesting to me and I had my own family and a child so the party scene wasn’t a huge deal to me, it’s kind of crazy to think that this person was an idol to someone but it makes sense because my sister had major addiction issues and ended up dying from addiction. However, if anyone wants proof of the pictures of her partying with James Saint James, I don’t have those pictures as they went into some other family members custody after she passed away. I have no clue what happened to those pictures and that incident occurred probably well over 10 years ago, so who knows who knows where those pictures are. I had never heard of this de@th wish or de@th drive type of Mentality but for her made sense, a K Hole is something that is terrifying to me, whereas that was a goal for her. She overdosed about 2 days after Mother’s Day 3 years ago at 34. Different strokes, I guess.
Really cool insight at the end about the language we still use today. I talk about how we call people who are really good at something "a beast" or "a monster."
I celebrate the timing of this video appearing on my landing page, as I am in the process of re-reading Goethe's Faust. Mephisto in this text is repeatedly described so vividly, he even makes references to sartorial self expression lifting the spirit as he's adorned in primary colours, almost always in vermillion and gold, adorned with animal feathers, so similarly to a club kid. Wonderful work Andrew in delineating how this scene completely lost their balance of ego expression and creativity. I think their proposition for fun was always a Faustian bargain of sorts, promising these young people who'd come to New York fun as a way to surpass their humble, unfortunate or unremarkable roots. But then there's always the comedown that follows, increasingly bringing more pain than pleasure. Thank you for your insightful analysis, it allowed me to re-read this foundational work through a new lens.
Thanks for your hard work. I appreciate it.
I’ve had so many explanations in school of cluster b personality disorders but never have I heard such a useful and succinct definition. Thank you!
Great video. Looking forward to your next one! 💕
Could guilt cause gallows humor? He doesn’t appear racked with guilt, however.
hello Dr. Van der Vart, well done job. This was a very levelheaded analysis of the "death drive", with an awareness of the need to cull out the outmoded theories of Freud, whilst propounding and acknowledging. the valuable pioneering work he accomplished. You picked a great example of a contemporary model for an "archetypal" overarching behavior which can have such an impact on what can be the foundational responses/choices,
(on what so many,) people can make during a crisis. The one thing of note on delivery/form I might add is your interjection of the introductory pause phrasing of the word/sentiment,"Right?" in your discursive statements is superflous.
You make a solid arguement and proffer, you don't need to moderate your ideas with a "modesty" tempering caveat. I think it is probabaly done in an effort to impart your contribution with a "sotto id" indicator of open mindedness, but is unnecessary, as your meter and temperance are rational and comprehensive. I would ask if you could expand on anti-social personality disorder as that was the only aspect where I was not fully comprehending the shorthand distinctions you were offering for an encapsulation of the personality type you butterissing toward the broader point of Cluster B disorders.If you have time to respond to that inquiry,I would appreciate it. Good luck, and admirable work you are carryiing out.
Wow. I need to slug down a couple more cups of coffee, and re-read this comment.
@@Polyphemus47 all good, thats one of them. he licked some boots and found a very complex way of saying "the shorthand distinctions were short"
first time watcher. and this is really good.
Interesting information! Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you I found it fascinating particularly the concept of the death drive which seems to make sense to me with regards to understanding behavior..
First class analysis. Thank you. Subscribed.
Please do an Incel and the reason to take out so many and themselves..death drive
Fascinating and insightful, really enjoyed your video.
I am looking forward to your thoughts on the Cluster Bs.
Hey, really nice treat finding this vid and your channel 🥂
Ah the Donahue Show thats some 80s/ 90s daytime TV gold
Fantastic video I’m really enjoying your work. Going to watch the Ramsey videos now.
This kind of sounds like what people are describing Stockton rush people keep referring to this death wish that he seems to have had
Just found your channel, it's very good. Thank you.
One of the things that caught my attention is when you mentioned different terms for the same phenomena and the different ways Freud and Jung would explain it.
My point of view is a bit different. "Epiphany" and "enlightenment" can come from many things, including, but rarely, drugs. No matter where they come from, if there is nothing to tie us to our life and no anchor to reality, it always ends badly. Sometimes very badly.
I would use different terminology, but I think your assessment is spot on.
Ooh Clinical Psychologist here....this is interesting.
Nelson and the whole "scene" seemed really vapid and narcissist and hedonistic and it's really a dead end that ultimately leads to death and destruction. Kali Yuga is the age of misery and mercy.